Disclaimer: Anything familiar belongs to JE and the creators of Criminal Minds

Warning: Adult situations, adult language

Chapter 49: Sunday, August 28th, 1200-1600

Trenton

Joe's POV

Yesterday we buried Grandma Bella. It was hard saying goodbye to such a force. She was a very strong woman and only wanted what was best for her family. She survived a lot, immigrating from Italy as a young woman, knowing only her husband, surviving an abusive relationship, raising a son who followed in his father's footsteps. It wasn't easy being Bella Morelli. However, using her brand of crazy, she managed to keep a lot of our family's skeletons in the closet. Since I heard about her death, I've been doing a lot of soul searching. Especially after I read the letter, she left for me. In her letter, she wrote how she had to make a lot of sacrifices in her life, giving up her dream of being a seamstress to be a housewife in America. She told me that while she learned to love my grandfather and respect him as her husband, she was never in love with him. Grandma told me that the worst thing I could do was to marry a woman I didn't love completely. The woman who I deserved would be a woman I couldn't live without, a woman that my heart would ache to be away from, to not be near. If I can play my games, then I didn't have that woman yet. Her letter helped me to realize that Stephanie isn't that woman for me.

I realize that I don't want the Burg life. I'm quite miserable here, which is one of the reasons why I joined the Navy. It was a chance for me to escape the Burg, to see other places, to meet new people. However, I was young and stupid and did stupid things. I could have had a great career in the Navy, but I fucked up. I was forced to return to my roots, to the Burg. Now, I know I need to make my escape, my permanent escape.

As much as I want a family, I don't want my mother's life. I don't want a wife who sits home all day, gossiping with the neighbors and worrying about who's doing what to whom. I hate gossiping. However, with pressure from my mother, my grandmother, and the Burg, I pursued a woman who I thought would give me the lifestyle that I wanted. Stephanie Plum could be the type of wife I want, but she could never be that here with me in the Burg. I'm afraid that the way I treated her time and time again only worked to push her further away from me. Had I accepted her for who she is, for the person who drew me to her, I'd be here with Stephanie as my wife already.

I was always drawn to Stephanie. She wasn't like the other girls. She wanted to do things her way, wanted to play games with the boys, sports and other activities. She hated ballroom dancing classes, home ec, and every other typical female activity. She was one of the guys, without being "boyish." She could and still can hang with us, listen to our crude jokes and dish them out back to us. It's her fiery spirit that I love about Stephanie.

But the Burg has a way of poisoning the minds of those who want to do things differently. I can see it now. Manoso, damn him, came swooping into Trenton, immediately accepting Stephanie for who she is, encouraging her independence and spirit. He encourages her to fly, while I only clip her wings. I finally see that I can never be what she needs. I saw it when she was sitting in the interview room, telling Manoso and Agent Lewis what happened to her. The fact that she didn't want or need me made it apparent that I am not her man. She already made her choice, though she probably doesn't realize it yet. She chose Manoso and had I been in her shoes, I can't say that I would blame her.

For me to get my happily ever after, I know I must leave behind the constraints of the Burg. Maybe getting away from this toxic hellhole will allow me to change my ways, to allow me to stop my cheating ways. Here in the Burg, the classic double standard exists; girls must be pure and virginal, and boys should sow their seeds with as many "bad girls" as possible. Most of the men in the Burg cheat on their wives, it's an acceptable pastime. The ignorant, naïve wives think their men are going to the "lodge" when instead, most are going to their mistress' home or the motel. That is why it's so easy for me to stray without Cupcake knowing about it. It's part of the Burg men's code. After how Dickie treated Steph and her reaction, I should have known better than to stray on her. I know fucking Terry at every opportunity wasn't fair to Cupcake. I also know that she didn't fuck Manoso nearly as much as I fucked Terry. Terry, there's another piranha. She only calls me when she needs something or when my relationship with Stephanie is going well. Why didn't I ever realize her MO before?

This morning, I received a phone call from Manoso's right-hand man, Tank. He said that he has something important to discuss with me and to meet him at Rangeman as soon as possible. He has never called me before, so I can only imagine that this is truly an urgent matter. If given the opportunity, I will tell him that I'm giving up Stephanie. Maybe, just maybe, Manoso will have it in his heart to throw me a bone I don't deserve and help me get a job in another police department in another city.

I arrive at Rangeman at ten after nine. I have an appointment with Chief Petrillo at eleven. I hope Agent Rossi hasn't called him yet. I know my behavior in Miami was reprehensible. I just hate losing, and losing Stephanie was a bitter pill to take. I get buzzed into the garage and once again feel the pang of jealousy as I see Manoso's expensive cars. I know he does and did a lot of bad shit to get those cars, but I still can't help wishing that it was me who had those opportunities.

I park in the visitor's area and enter the lobby. Once there, the guy on the desk greets me.

"Good morning, Sir, and welcome to Rangeman. How may I help you?"

"Good morning. It's Detective Morelli. I have an appointment with Tank."

"One moment, Detective." The guy picks up a phone and dials an extension. He announces my arrival and promptly hangs up. I don't recognize him, so he must be new.

"If you have a seat, Tank will be down in a moment."

I nod at the man than have a seat. I look around the lobby with a new perspective. From the way the lobby is decorated to the efficiency of the men who work here, I finally admit to myself that Ranger and his men are not the thugs I always called them. I see the military flags on either side of the elevator, with an American flag hanging inside. Damn it, Joe. Why were you such an arrogant prick?

Tank exits from the stairwell and approaches me. "Detective Morelli, thank you for coming. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother."

"Thank you," I respond as I hold out my hand to shake his. "It was a shock, but Grandma Bella would have been happy to die without being a burden to my mother or the rest of the family."

"Detective follow me to my office. I have an important matter to discuss with you."

We turn and walk to the stairs. I follow Tank up to the fifth floor and then into his office. I'm surprised when I enter his office. While Manoso's office in Miami was all deep wood tones and exude male power and authority, Tank's office has a more modern feel. He has a black desk with a black chair and a black leather couch. His file cabinets and office furniture are all accented with silver. It fits Tank and shows the difference in their personalities.

"Detective, we received word from one of our informants on Stark Street that Teresa Grizoli is looking to set you up. She wants to punish you for rejecting her by getting you thrown off the force. She knows that you have exchanged sexual favors in return for looking the other way in the past and is hoping you'll do so again. While I personally don't care if you get thrown off the force or not, her tactics are unfair."

"Thank you for telling me, Tank. You didn't have to tell me anything. I know that you know of my indiscretions. How come you never told Stephanie?"

"Little Girl had to find out on her own. If we had told her we were following you and keeping tabs on you, she would have been angry with us. We can't afford for her to cut ties with us, for her safety. We always said that if she ever asked, or if she accepted your proposal, we would tell her. Before you ask, it was my call to follow you. Ranger told us to leave you alone. He wasn't happy that I went against his orders."

I should be mad. I should be livid, but frankly, I'm relieved. I no longer have to hide behind my façade of the perfect Burg man that Steph has envisioned me as being. "Thank you for not telling Stephanie until she was ready to know and thank you for keeping her safe. I've decided I'm leaving Trenton. I can't stay here; this place is toxic for me. I need a chance to start over, to become the man I want to be. I'm meeting with Chief Petrillo in a little over an hour to resign. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I was wondering if maybe you would be able to help me transfer someplace else. I know I don't deserve your help, nor did I earn it, but I need to leave. I am giving up Stephanie. It's clear that I'm not who she wants, and if I'm honest with myself, she's not who I want either. I will always love her, but I'm not in love with her. My grandmother helped me to see that truth with her death. I will call her at some point to tell her myself, but I want you to know that before I leave."

I watch as Tank leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest before replying, "Morelli, you are right, you don't deserve any help from us. You've spent the last few years calling us thugs, sullying our name, and treating us with disdain and disrespect all because you saw us as the enemy. However, regardless of your shortcomings as a man, you are a good cop. Even though Ranger may have my hide for this when he returns, I have a friend on the Atlanta force and another one in San Diego. Which do you prefer?"

I spent some time in San Diego when I was in the Navy. Though I like the city, So Cal is not the place for me. Besides, it is too far for my mother to come and visit. At least she can drive to Atlanta, because I know she doesn't like to fly. "Atlanta, please," I respond.

"I'll make that call today. And Morelli, cut your whoring around, a woman deserves better."

I nod my head in reply. "Hal will escort you out of the building. Good luck, Detective Morelli."

I follow Hal back to the garage. I get into my car and start on my drive to Trenton PD. I feel lighter now that I've finally made the decisions to cut my ties and leave Trenton. While it still hurts to give up Stephanie, I know that I made the right decision. I arrive at TPD and park my car in its usual spot. I stop by my office to check on a few outstanding cases. Nothing pressing, nothing that I can't hand off to someone else. I head up to the Chief's office, ready to accept any reprimand he may have for me.

I walk up to the Chief's office, greeting his secretary, Kelly. "Hi, Kelly. I have an appointment with the Chief at eleven."

"Joe, I didn't realize you were home. I'm sorry about your grandmother."

"Thank you. Is the Chief ready to see me?" I ask her. Normally, I'd flirt with her, giving her innuendos and other suggestions, but I don't have it in me anymore.

"Yes, he is. You can go right in." Kelly responds, obviously annoyed.

"Detective, you wanted to meet with me?" The Chief greets me.

"Yes, Sir. I wanted to talk to you about getting a transfer. I would like to leave Trenton, permanently. I have some feelers in Atlanta. I plan on heading down there later this week. I'm here to give you my notice."

"So, does this have anything to do with the report I got from Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss from Miami?"

"Partially. I admit that I behaved horribly and disrespected Agent Prentiss. It took me coming home and burying my grandmother to realize what an asshole I've been. I also realized that I need a fresh start and would like your help in securing a new job somewhere in Atlanta. I need to leave Trenton. This city is toxic to me."

"Look, Joe, you are a good cop, but you're right. Trenton is not a good city for you. I will give you a recommendation, only because I think if you get away from the Burg, the gossip and Stephanie Plum, you'll be a better man and a better cop. I also know a few people in Atlanta, so I'll make some calls for you. Do you have any pressing cases?"

"No, nothing urgent. I can easily hand off anything to someone else."

"Okay. Be prepared to brief Markowski tomorrow morning at nine. He'll take over your cases. You need to hand over your police-issue and your badge before you leave tomorrow."

"Thank you, Sir. I appreciate your faith and your help."

"Detective Morelli know that I will always help you if you ever need help. Go to Atlanta to become the man you ought to be."

"Thank you, Chief Petrillo."

I spent the rest of my day tidying up my office and preparing it for my departure. I am having dinner with mom tonight to tell her myself. I decided that I don't want Bob. It will be too difficult to take him to Atlanta. I don't know anyone there and won't be able to give him the love he needs. Maybe I'll see if Stephanie wants him. I decide it's time to call Stephanie and let her know my decision.

"What do you want, Joe?" Stephanie says abruptly as she answers her phone.

"Hi Cup…err Stephanie. I am calling to apologize."

"What?" she asks, surprise evident in her voice.

"I'm calling to apologize for treating you horribly, for trying to force you to be someone you're not and for hurting you. I'm letting you go, Stephanie. I'm leaving Trenton, for good. I'm planning on moving to Atlanta."

"Are you sure? Is that what you really want?"

"Steph, I'm tired of the gossiping, I'm tired of the expectations. I realized that I don't want the Burg life. If I'm in Trenton, that's all I'm going to be pressured into having. I need to start over, and I want to wish you the best of luck. Don't settle and become a Burg housewife. You are better than that."

"I don't know what to say. I'm going to miss you. Please keep in touch."

"Uhm, I don't know how to say this, but I'm not planning on taking Bob. I won't have anyone to care for him while I'm working, it won't be fair to him. Do you want him?"

"Joe, I'm not sure when I'm returning to Trenton. I mean, if no one else wants him I guess I can see if one of the guys at Rangeman wants him, but I can't take him now. Besides, he'll destroy Ranger's house."

"Steph, I have a feeling that if anyone can tame Bob and make him the proper dog, it's Manoso."

"I don't know. I'll have to get back to you. Joe, I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Steph, goodbye."

"Bye Joe." She replies as she hangs up the phone. Now, onto mom's and then time to pack up my house.