Chapter Sixteen

{Zach}

What the hell did I do?

Mine and Cammie's last conversation was of me breaking her heart, and now she was in the hospital. I couldn't understand Macey's frantic phone call, but I know I heard her say something about a car crash, and that Cammie was in critical condition. And my throbbing, over-paranoid heart took that to mean one thing…

That may have well been our last conversation ever.

On the drive over, I begged and prayed to God that Cammie would be okay. She needed to be okay so I could set everything straight. So I could tell her that I loved her and I only said what I did because I truly believed she'd be happier with someone else. And even if she still hated me and wanted nothing to do with me after the way I treated her, at least she'd be alive.

I had full intentions on storming right up to the receptionist's desk and demanding answers, but Macey called out my name from the waiting room where everyone had gathered and I joined them instead.

"Zach!" she yelled as she ran over and threw her arms around me. Her eyes were puffy and red, and I had the sickening realization that my stone-cold cousin was actually crying.

"What happened? Is she okay?" I asked, holding Macey as she cried into my shoulder. I looked around at my friends, hoping to get some answers. I saw that Josh had been invited, and for a moment, I was actually kind of proud that I didn't resent his presence.

"We don't know anything," Grant said from where he sat, his head in his hands.

"Well, why not?" I shouted, pushing Macey aside, who went back to her boyfriend and resumed to cry, albeit softer now.

"We're not family. They won't tell us anything," Ryan scoffed. Mumbling, he added, "Such cliché bullshit."

"So, where are her parents? Get her mom here so we can figure out what the hell is going on," I demanded. No one commented on how uncharacteristically worried I was about the small blonde, for which I was thankful. Now was not the time to explain what had been going on between us.

"Her mom is on her way," Bex explained. "She's coming from the airport. She just dropped off Cam's dad."

The airport was at least half an hour away from the hospital, which meant it was going to be a while before we got any answers. I slumped down in the seat next to Grant and Jonas, doing my best to calm my mind from immediately wandering to the worst-case scenario.

A nurse stopped by and told us that Mrs. Morgan had called and asked to allow Cammie visitors until she arrived. She must've hated the thought of Cammie being all alone during a time like this almost as much as I hated it. One by one, we entered the room to see her, but every person that went in, always came out ten or fifteen minutes later claiming she still hadn't woken up. The nurse explained that it was normal for the body to rest after such a traumatic experience and not to worry, but it was no use trying to convince me of that.

Finally, it was my turn. Opening the hospital room door, I spotted Cammie's small frame asleep under a stark white blanket that looked like it couldn't warm a fucking fly. She looked so peaceful, despite all the cuts and scratches that lined her face and the way her hair matted together from sweat, most likely. What I wanted most was to touch her—grab her hand and tell her everything was going to be okay, and that I'd make sure of it—but I was afraid that if I did, I'd only break her more. That seemed to be a common occurrence with us.

Instead, I just stood there and watched her, my eyes stinging from the threat of tears I refused to let surface. My jaw ached from how hard I was clenching it as I held everything back. All I could think about was what she'd say or do if she was awake and could see me now. Before I ruined everything, she would've smoothed her hand across the hard features of my face, softening them with her feather-light touches. She would've placed her lips on my cheek, my nose, my hair—anywhere she could—and kissed away the pain while she whispered all kinds of forgiving words. She would've done everything I loved, and things I didn't deserve, but I would let her because she was Cammie.

Now, after I fucked up and broke her unbelievably loving heart, she probably would've screamed at me to get the fuck out and to never come back, telling me how horrible of a friend I was to play her like I did and that she never wanted to see me again. She'd tell me how stupid she was for believing in me and trusting me the way she had, and how she shouldn't have expected any different from me given my track record. She'd throw every little insecurity I had in my face out of anger and betrayal, but also out of honesty. And it would've completely crushed every fiber of my being, but I couldn't exactly blame her for it because it was what I deserved. I hurt her, the least I could do was let her destroy my heart in ways that only she could.

I released a sigh, knowing that my visiting time with her was quickly running out.

"I'm sorry, Cam." I laughed humorlessly at my pathetic use of the cliché phrase. "How many times tonight have you heard that one?" I glanced over her face, eyeing her to see if there was any sign that she could hear me, but she remained as peaceful as one could with an IV in their arm and being hooked up to a heartrate monitor.

"I just…I don't know what else to say," I admitted. "I messed up doesn't even begin to explain it. I'm a huge fucking idiot and I never deserved someone like you to love me seems better, but even that isn't enough. You deserve to be happy, and I've proven that I can't do that for you…that's about right," I rambled.

I shook my head, sighing once again. How could I put my feelings into words that made sense?

"You said you deserved someone who wants to be with you, who cares about you and wants to make you happy…who actually loves you. And I so badly wanted to say that I was that guy. Truth is, I'm a guy who wants to do all those things—who can do all those things. But I'm not the guy who you deserve. That's why I ended things. Not because I didn't want to be with you, but because you could do way better than an asshole who was too chicken shit to tell you from the beginning how he felt, and instead pretended not to care about you. Yeah, you said you forgave me, and there's no doubt that at one point you had, but I bullied you, Cammie. I will never forgive myself for that."

I rambled on for another few minutes about how fucked up I was and how I'd understand if she woke up and hated my guts, despite me being hopelessly in love with her. Even though she couldn't hear me, it made me feel a little better finally saying it to her face.

Before I left, I reluctantly reached out for her hand and tangled our fingers together, even though I told myself I shouldn't. But just that touch was enough for me to be able to finally let her go.

When I returned to the waiting room, I saw that Mrs. Morgan had arrived, although she hadn't joined her daughter's friends and was, instead, standing out of earshot with a police officer who looked rather disturbed by what he was telling her.

"What's going on? Why is Mrs. Morgan talking to a police officer?" I asked before noticing everyone's grave expressions. When I left to see Cammie, they were all worried and depressed, but now they almost looked scared.

"Because they're investigating a homicide attempt," Macey explained, running a hand through her hair and holding it away from her face before letting it fall again.

"What?" I asked in shock. A homicide attempt? As in, killing someone?

"Cammie's brakes were cut," Grant explained further, his tired eyes barely even able to focus on me properly. "She rolled into the middle of the intersection at a red light because she couldn't stop her car. Apparently, if she doesn't wake up, whoever cut her brakes is facing charges of manslaughter."

At his words, Liz turned an even paler shade of green, and I could relate to feeling sick at the thought of Cammie having been "slaughtered".

"Someone did this to her?" I asked, growing nauseous and angry at the same time. "But who would—"

I stopped mid-question because I had a suspicion that I already knew the answer.

Aubree.

She was the one behind this. I didn't even need proof to know it was true. Her threatening text last night was enough. She either had Jessica go out and cut Cam's brakes after our conversation, or she drove over there herself and did it. Aubree Wexler was a lot of things, I knew firsthand, but I never thought crazy was on that list.

Suddenly, it hit me that Aubree did this because she thought Cammie and I were together. Even though Aubree (or Jessica by Aubree's orders) was the one who had cut Cammie's brakes, I was the one responsible for her ending up in the hospital in critical condition.

I should've known Aubree was never going to give up. She loved to have the final word, and I simply would not give it to her. This all could've been avoided had I just listened to Ryan and gone out with Aubree until she broke it off for good. Instead, I was stubborn and too in love with Cammie to realize the severity of which Aubree would go to get her beloved last word.

My heartbeat picked up its pace and my breathing became rapid and shallow. I spent the last three years silently protecting Cammie from the horrible guys out there that would never see her true worth and would only hurt her, when in reality, I was the biggest monster of them all.

"This is all my fault." I wasn't sure the others could hear me, but that was just as well considering I was talking to myself anyway. How was I supposed to explain to them that I'd done this to her? That I brought this nightmare upon her and I failed once again to do the one thing I swore I would, despite the bad blood between us?

Unfortunately, my mind was slowly being driven insane by the thought that I was responsible for this, and I wasn't paying attention to what exactly I was saying when I was pacing back and forth and tugging at my hair in frustration while practically screaming out, "This is all my goddamn fault!"

"No, it's not, Zach," Bex assured me in a tired voice that matched the look in Grant's eyes. "You couldn't have known when she left that—"

"Aubree did this!" I shouted at her, snapping myself around and flailing my arms about in a wild manner. "Aubree did this because of me!"

Everyone went quiet, and it wasn't until Macey stood up and eyed me that I realized what I had said.

"What are you talking about?" she asked suspiciously, and by the accusation written on her face, I knew she picked up on the unintentional meaning behind my words.

I stayed quiet, knowing I fucked up big time, but not knowing how the hell to fix it.

"Zach?" Macey's eyes hardened, and her voice was threatening like a lion's roar. "Tell me. Now."

Ryan covertly shook his head at me, silently telling me not to tell her, at least not right then. Cammie was unconscious in a hospital bed, and because of that, we had all been lacking much needed sleep and were thinking irrationally. Nothing good would come from airing out my dirty laundry at the moment.

Hannah slithered up next to Ryan, ducking her head into his neck and avoiding eye contact with everyone. She must not have thought it was a good idea, either.

What was even more surprising was that Josh caught my eye and he, too, gave the smallest of movements resembling a head shake to tell me to keep quiet, as well. I knew I shouldn't have been upset by it, but I was, and I really wanted to punch him in the face for knowing mine and Cammie's secret.

Instead, I turned to Macey, aiming to keep my voice calm as I spoke. "I'm not doing this right now."

"Why not? It's as good a time as any," she argued, breaking away from Declan's hold on her.

"Macey…"

"Time to be honest, Zach," she snapped, and although I had a feeling she had figured it all out before, now it was apparent she knew what I wasn't saying. "It's the least you can do for her, don't you think? Considering this is all your goddamn fault," she mocked me with an irate growl.

Ryan stepped up, placing a hand on her shoulder and steering her away from me as if he could shake her of her anger. "Mace, this isn't the time or the place for drama," he warned.

"You knew, too?" she scoffed, her eyes dry but still red, from crying or anger I wasn't sure. Maybe a mixture of the two. "Un-fucking-believable."

"Be mad all you want," he told her, his voice not giving away any of his emotions, "but the truth of the matter is that we have more important things to be worrying about right now than drudging up facts you're not in the right mindset to be hearing."

"Typical," Macey spat, rolling her eyes. "Zach's too big of a pussy to say how he really feels. It's like freshman year all over again, huh, cous? When you weren't man enough to tell me that you liked Cammie?"

I didn't know how she found out about my feelings for Cam back then, and I'm sure the confusion was evident as I stared at her in shock.

"What, you thought I didn't know?" she asked, sneering. "You always want what you can't have, Zach, and I told you she was off-limits. Of course I kept my eyes on you, dumbass. But I stopped when it looked like you two had begun to hate each other. I guess that was my mistake. Either that, or you're more manipulative than I thought."

I opened my mouth to argue—to tell her that it was her fucking promise that drove Cam and me apart, and that we did it out of loyalty to her—but I was cut off by the nurse who had reappeared through the waiting room doors.

"Sorry to interrupt," she started, although she probably wasn't sorry at all, and then the room grew quiet as she looked around at our group, the tension filling in the silence.

"Ms. Morgan is awake, and she's asking for Zach."

I don't even know if cutting someone's brakes is a real thing, or if it's just something people do in the movies...and now fanfic stories.

There were a lot of comments revolved around Josh, which I was sort of surprised about. A lot of you guys mentioned how you hope Cammie doesn't end up with Josh, and then there was one person who said they couldn't believe they actually liked Josh, of all people, in my story... I never understood why everyone hates Josh. I thought he was a very realistic character, and can't we take a moment to appreciate the fact that he went to like five different churches looking for Cammie after meeting her ONE TIME?! How freaking precious is that? And he got her a bottle for her imaginary cat, and he remembered her fake birthday, AND he ran construction equipment through a wall in an attempt to save her from a supposed KIDNAPPER... who freaking does that?! I wouldn't mind having my own Josh, to be perfectly honest ;) But to each their own, I guess.

People said they wanted Macey to be accepting of Zach and Cammie's relationship, but I thought back to previous chapters and decided that it wouldn't be right for her character to be okay with it when she's first told. She honestly believes she was protecting Cam with her promise, and she truly wanted to keep them away from each other...so for her to just be like "Okay, cool" just doesn't make any sense. Also, they betrayed her trust and went behind her back... hell no she wouldn't be cool with that!

One guest reviewer (AllyCarterFan) mentioned how in some fanfics, Zach and Cammie actually don't end up together, and believe me, I've thought about it many times...however people invest a lot of time and interest into stories with multiple chapters, and they wait like weeks on end for updates, so I don't think I could do that to them when everyone's expecting Zammie as the final product. Maybe in like one-shots I'd probably consider doing it, but probably not for longer stories such as this (could you imagine waiting 16 chapters or more and like six months to find out Cammie chose Josh instead? When he wasn't even introduced until chapter 15! Tragic...)

Sorry for a short chapter and a long A/N... at least I kinda got it out quick, right? Lol.

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