Disclaimer: Anything familiar belongs to JE and the creators of Criminal Minds.
Warning: Adult language, adult situation
Chapter 66: Wednesday, August 31st, 0600-1300
Ranger's Estate
Ranger's POV
I wake to my alarm with my Babe snuggled in my arms. I love waking with her next to me every morning. I don't know what I will do if she leaves me, if she leaves us. I take in her scent, while a part of me wishes I could bury myself inside her, showing her what she means to me, but she's not ready yet. I feel her start to stir beside me. I know that she is awake. I place a kiss on her forehead.
"Good morning, Babe. Are you going to join me for a run?"
"No, Carlos, not this morning. I'm exhausted. Do you mind if I skip the run today?"
"No, Babe, go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you. I love you." I tell my Babe while trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. It's the little things we share together, the little things we do that I love the most about being with Stephanie. Yes, the sex between us has always been phenomenal. However, I enjoy running with Stephanie. I enjoy our time cooking together, working together. Basically, any task that I normally do alone is better when my Babe is by my side, assisting me. I was a solitary man before Stephanie came into my life, now I could never go back to that lonely existence.
I exit the dressing room and bathroom in a pair of low riding basketball shorts, black athletic socks, and my sneakers in my hand. I have started to skip putting on a shirt because I typically take it off about a mile into the run. Then I'm stuck carrying it the rest of the way. I also know that Steph likes the scenery better. I notice she pushes herself harder to keep up when my shirt if off. Anything to help her get into better physical condition without her knowing is a bonus. I'm glad that she'll be starting self-defense with Lester tomorrow.
As my feet hit the sand, I think about what I need to do to encourage Stephanie to stay in Miami, to stay with Julie and me, and to hopefully keep Tommy with us. I have grown to love my little family, and Stephanie is the central figure in this group. The sound of the waves crashing into the shore is cathartic. I find myself in my zone, as Stephanie calls it. My zone is really just my thinking place, my place to assess what is going on in my life. I know that I am happy. I know that I found my soulmate in Stephanie, and I never want her to leave me again. I was a fool, pushing her away all these years. I'm annoyed that it took something happening to my daughter to make me realize how much I need this woman in my life.
I don't know what I'd do if she had married Morelli. I know that I couldn't leave her behind in Trenton. There would be no way that I'd give Morelli the satisfaction of leaving Trenton if he were to snag Steph, but it would be difficult watching her with him. I know that he wouldn't allow her to continue the lifestyle she loves, with the excitement of bounty hunting and the digging into people's lives. I know that the way she goes about her career isn't safe, but I'm hoping that she'll finally listen to reason and take herself and her job more seriously. Morelli would kill her spirit. I know that I would have always stayed in Trenton to rescue her when she finally admitted that she was wrong and needed an out. I would do anything for her. She has no idea how many different aliases I have for both she and I created should she or I ever get into trouble to the point where we would need to disappear.
I have contingencies in place as well. Steph would have three aliases on her own if something were to ever happen to me. Lester is the only one who knows the lengths I have gone to protect my Babe. If I were to be killed, and her life was to be in danger, Lester would tell her about her alias, the money she has, and would help her to disappear. With the number of women whose phone numbers reside in Lester's phone, another name would mean nothing. I trust my Core team, but Lester is the only person outside of Stephanie, who I trust implicitly, without a shadow of a doubt. Bobby and Tank are my brothers, in all senses of the word, but Lester is family. We have been through a lot together, and I know no amount of torture, money, or threats would ever cause Lester to betray me, nor I, him. He'd die before giving up Stephanie or me.
Lester, I should be more concerned about how close he and my Babe are, but I trust Stephanie. If something were to happen to me, I don't doubt that my cousin would step in, making a move on my Babe. As much as it kills me to think about, I would be happiest if she were to be with him if she couldn't have me. I know that he would protect her the way I would. I shake my head to get these thoughts out of my mind. I need to think about how to let Stephanie know I'm all in, for whatever type of relationship she wants. If she wants the wedding, the white picket fence, and the 2.5 kids, I'll give it to her. If she wants to be nothing more than lovers, sharing living space or not, I'll go along, as long as I can call her my woman. We will be exclusive. I don't share. Once or twice, in my younger years, my cousin and I shared a woman. While it was hot, I didn't truly enjoy it. I have had two women twice as well, and again, though it was a good, sexually satisfying night, it wasn't what I wanted or needed. One woman is more than enough for me, and my Babe is the only woman I will ever need or want again.
I know Steph might not believe me when I tell her that I haven't been with another woman since our first night together, the night of the Deal, but it's true. I told her that night that I would ruin her for all men, but the truth is that she ruined me for all other women. I felt something that night that I never felt before. It scared the shit out of me, which is one of the many stupid reasons that I pushed Steph back to Morelli. I notice the house coming into sight and realize that my run is over. I'm so off-center, off-kilter. With the men who destroyed my daughter behind bars, I have nothing to take my mind off of what is going on with me and my Babe.
I enter the kitchen, finding Stephanie eating breakfast. I'm surprised that she's up and ready, but she reminds me that Dr. Karen is coming to see her. I hope that Dr. Karen can help her to work through whatever issues she still has so that we can be together for the rest of our lives. I head up to our room for a shower as Dr. Karen arrives.
Once I finish getting dressed, I check on Tommy, who is just waking up. I see him trying to change out of his pajamas into shorts and a t-shirt. I offer to help him, and he takes my help. Together, we walk down to the kitchen. Julie is sitting there, getting ready to eat her breakfast with Lester and Bobby.
"Good morning, Tommy. What do you want for breakfast?" Julie asks.
"Do we have any Cinnamon Toast Cwunch?" Tommy asks. I cringe at that request for that sugary cereal.
"No, but we have Honey Nut Cheerios and Frosted Flakes," Julie responds.
"I guess I'll have Fwosted Flakes," Tommy says.
I have my normal bagel with light cream cheese spread and fruit. Julie has a bowl of Multigrain Cheerios. "After breakfast, we need to sort through all your school supplies, so everything is ready for tomorrow. Tommy, are you excited about starting school tomorrow?"
"Yes! I'm super-duper excited. I can't wait. I didn't like my othew school. The kids there were mean to me. Julie, are you in the same school as me? My sister was in a different school. She only went to school with girwls, and I only went to school with boys."
"Yes, Tommy, we will be in the same school. The school goes from kindergarten until twelfth grade. However, we won't see each other much. You are in the lower school, and I'm in the upper school."
"Oh, but you can walk me to my classwoom, wight?" Tommy asks disappointment is evident.
"Yes, if you want me to, I can."
"Ok. Good!" Tommy replies happier. "Ranger, can you show me how to play soccer?"
"Of course. Once we get your supplies ready for tomorrow, we'll go out back and play soccer. I think we can even talk Uncle Lester and Uncle Bobby into joining us."
"I play, too." I hear from behind me in the heavily accented voice that belongs to Hector. With that settled, we finish our breakfast. As we are heading to my office, my sister Mariela enters the room. She makes to talk to me, but one look is all I need for her wisely keep her mouth shut. I'm not really angry at her anymore, but I'm upset with her. If her conversation with our mother causes Stephanie to withdraw from me, there will be hell to pay.
Our soccer game was fun, and Tommy is a fast learner. By the end of our game, he was a pro, showing great ball control. Tommy was a little tired, and he and Julie retreat into her room to watch a movie together. I head into my office, with Lester following me, to catch up on Rangeman business.
"Is everything set for Bobby, Hector, and the rest to go back to Trenton?"
"Yes, they will be heading back on Friday," Lester responds.
"You know you don't need to stay here in Miami."
"I know, primo, but I want to stay here. Stephanie needs someone here she can trust to help her, to train her, and to get her acclimated to Miami. While you are here, you are also the owner of Rangeman. You will be taking on the responsibilities of running the company and won't be able to take her everywhere she needs to go. She won't want to partner with one of the guys here, not wanting to break up a partnership and they won't protect her the way we do in Trenton. It makes more sense for me to stay and support Stephanie as her partner."
I hear what my cousin is saying, but I also think there's more. "What do you know, Les?"
He sighs, clearly trying to sort out his thoughts.
"She's planning on staying. She is enjoying it here in Miami, and she wants to be here for Julie and Tommy. She's confused about you. She loves you that much is clear. I believe that she wants to be with only you, not Morelli or anyone else." Lester pauses.
"But?"
"Well, this is only my conjecture, my interpretation of her actions and thoughts." He says. I motion for him to go on and he sighs once more, "I think Steph is afraid to trust you. She trusts you more than she trusts any other man, and she knows her life is safe with you, but she's afraid to give her heart to you. She doesn't have a lot of self-confidence. Her self-esteem is in the toilet. She doesn't see how beautiful she is, on the inside and outside. She has no idea how much she has changed all of us. She is petrified that you will wake up one day, look at Stephanie, and wonder why you are with her. Stephanie believes that you will tire of her, that she won't be able to keep you interested and satisfied for the long run. She sees the way other women look at all of us, and especially you. She is aware that you can have your pick of any woman out there, and one day, she fears you are going to pick someone else. Given her past relationships, at least the ones we know about, I don't blame her for having that pessimistic view."
"My constantly telling her that my life doesn't lend itself to relationships, the loving her with qualifiers, has also chipped away at her confidence in us. She is listening to my words instead of my actions. Fuck me, I really fucked things up with Stephanie."
"You didn't help, but had she had normal relationships, your comments wouldn't have hit her so hard. First, we have Morelli. He took advantage of her when she was six, I believe he raped her in the Tasty Pastry, though she might not have that view, then they have this fucked up on and off relationship. He's stepped out on her several times, constantly degrades her, and further chips away at her fragile self-image. Her marriage to Dickie didn't last a few months before she found him fucking Joyce on her dining room table, clearly telling her that she couldn't sexually satisfy her husband. She was only twenty-four. Women at twenty-four are in their prime, looks-wise, and if her husband stepped out on her then, why wouldn't another man, especially a man like you, Carlos, do so to an older version of herself. The rape, which I'm assuming was a date-rape based on her visceral reaction, also would lead her to have this horrible view of relationships."
Now it's my turn to sigh. "How do I prove to Stephanie that she is it for me. Les, what I'm about to tell you now, you cannot tell another soul." I pause, waiting for him to give me his consent. "I haven't had sex with anyone other than Stephanie in the last three years. The first night that we were together made me realize that I only wanted her. I know you guys in Trenton thought that I was scratching my itch when I went out of town, out of respect for Stephanie, but the truth is, I don't want anyone but her."
I watch as a smile slowly appears on my cousin's face. He says, "I suspected as much. I could tell how much she affects you when you're together. I haven't seen you show interest in anyone, and you only half listen to conversations that Bobby and I have about our exploits. In the past, you would be itching to join us on some of our prowls. Don't get me wrong, we're glad you are abstaining, because without you there, we are getting more bites, but I always suspected that Stephanie was the reason behind your change."
"Does anyone else suspect anything?"
"Bobby and Tank might, but only because we've known you the longest. The other guys think that whenever you go offline, you're on your way to getting some action. They don't know that you were really going to Stephanie's to watch her sleep."
"How did you know?"
"Because I followed you every night, Ranger. Someone had to watch your back. I know you let your guard down around her, and that you sought her out to help quiet your demons. You were always more even-keeled after spending time in her apartment."
I look at my cousin and know that I am correct to trust only him with my secrets, and my Babe.
"Lester, if anything happens to me, I still want you to go through with our plans."
"Carlos, you know I can never replace you. Stephane would never love me the way she loves you."
"Maybe not, but she would be comfortable with you, and safe with you. You are the only one who knows what lengths I went through to ensure her safety. I trust no one else."
"And what if something happens to you and me together?"
"I wrote a letter to Julie, explaining her trust and other information. In her letter is one to Stephanie, giving her all the information she needs. No one would look at what I would say to my daughter, or think that she held information for Stephanie, though if Stephanie does choose to stay, I'll tell her myself." I answer.
There's a knock on the door, and I bellow, "come in." Bobby walks in with Woody and Manny following him.
"One of the Miami guys got roughed up by a skip. I'm heading there to check him out. Do you need me to bring anything to Agent Prentiss?"
"No, but ask her to stop by later this afternoon. I want to finalize a few things with her team and give her the information we gathered for the federal case. Are you guys up to a night out on the town tomorrow?"
"You know we are, Ranger. Where to?" Woody asks.
"Not sure yet. I need to set a few things up, but I'll be inviting Agent Prentiss and her team. I think they are heading back to DC on Friday. I think Stephanie could use the diversion."
"Sounds good. I'll pass the message along. Woody and Manny are coming with me there. They want to check out the codes for the securities systems. Hector is already there."
"Okay. See you guys later."
As they leave, Mariela enters. Now what?
"Carlos, can I talk to you?"
"What, Mariela?"
"Lester, can you please give us some privacy?"
"No, Mari, Lester stays. He's here for your protection." I reply.
I see her gulp before she sits down. "Look, Carlos, I'm sorry for calling Mama. I really didn't mean to cause you any problems. I'm excited at the prospect of you settling down, having a family of your own. We all are because you have spent far too many years alone. However, I don't understand why you must be so secretive all the time. You can trust your family to have your back."
"Mariela, I don't tell you a lot to protect you. If my enemies thought that you knew things about my life, they could try to use you to get to me. That is why I kept myself insulated and solitary. If it weren't for Stephanie, I'd still be alone. I kept her at arm's length for years to try to protect her, but unfortunately, the world saw what we were too blind to see. She has been kidnapped, poisoned, shot at, and hurt because of her association with me. I don't want that for you. If she agrees to stay, she is entering this relationship with eyes wide open, knowing that she will need to take additional precautions to keep her safe, like learning self-defense, becoming comfortable with her gun, and being aware of her surroundings. She'll need to get used to being tracked, knowing that others will always know where she is, including me. Yes, I know she needs to be independent and trusted, and I trust her more than I trust anyone else, but those trackers are for her safety. Is that the type of life you want, Mari?" I ask my sister.
"No, Carlos. I'm sorry. I didn't realize it. I thought you just didn't want us to meddle."
"Well, that too, Carina," I say while giving my sister a small smile.
"If it's any consolation, I think Stephanie is perfect for you."
"She is, Mari, she is," I reply.
I hear Steph and Dr. Karen in the hallway, and I get up from my desk. I head downstairs as Stephanie locks the door after showing the good doctor out.
"Babe, did you have a good session?" I ask.
"Yes, Carlos, I did." I watch as she steals herself before looking me in the eyes. "We need to talk about us."
I feel like I was just doused in cold water. Steph is so tense, her voice void of all emotion. Did I read her wrong this week? I find my voice and reply, "where do you want to talk?"
"On our balcony." I let out a breath. If she's saying, "our balcony," then this must be a good talk, right? I don't know why I'm so nervous. I have faced the barrel of a gun pointing at my forehead and didn't feel this nervous. Shit, Manoso, pull yourself together. I follow her into our bedroom and onto the balcony. I go to pull her on my lap as I sit on the chaise lounge, but she wants to sit on a separate chair. Fuck me, this isn't good. I hope she doesn't make me beg.
TNTCE
A/N: This story is three reviews shy of 1600, which is why I'm publishing this extra bonus chapter. I also know that you are going to want the next chapter sooner rather than later, so you only need to wait about 36 hours for that update. As always, thank you, Susan, for your excellent beta skills.