FATE/LÚNASA FÓMHAR
"August Harvest"
Chapter 11: Aspidochelone
Heroine X sat the three girls down like they were in a classroom, and she rested upon a flat stalagmite. It was clear to the child Servants that whatever her tale was, it was going to take some time to recount.
X cleared her throat, then said, "So, let me begin with how I wound up here. Clean your ears out, 'cause I'm only going to explain this once! You see, I come from the Servant Universe, a parallel world where interplanetary travel is normal and we always settle our differences through intense light-saber combat."
"Incredible! So you're an alien Servant!?" Jack exclaimed happily. "That's awesome! We're meeting a real alien!"
"Exactly! I'm glad you understand how monumental this occasion is! Anyway, I was passing by this world when I realized that I needed to restock on Altrium for my spaceship, so I thought I'd make a small pit stop here. I happened to land on an island within this realm that the locals refer to as Okeanos, as I discovered a fairly large concentration of Altrium that I could harvest. However, before I even knew it, the island actually began to move on its own!"
"A moving island!? What did you do next!?"
"Well, I attempted to board my spaceship once more, but with no Altrium to power it, I was essentially at the mercy of the rising waves. My beloved spaceship and I were consumed by the raging ocean. And then… as I opened my eyes in the water… I could see them."
"Them?" Jack and Nursery murmured together.
"Eyes!"
"… Eyes?"
"Not just any eyes! The most massive eyes I've ever seen in my life! They had to be as big as a mansion each, and they were spaced apart so wide, you could fit a football field between them!"
"Whoooooa!"
Behind the enthralled girls, Connla grew increasingly nervous. She visibly trembled as she murmured, "Y-Y-You're not suggesting what it is I think you're suggesting, are you?"
"Very good! You catch on quick, little Saber! If I had a Tiger Stamp, I would give you one!" X remarked boldly. "That's right! I had come face-to-face with a sea demon that was so large, it could compare to Golden Great Emperor Cosmo Gilgamesh's mothership Vimana! For indeed, I was swallowed by the fabled creature this world has come to dub as Aspidochelone, or the Shield Turtle!"
"A sea demon… Aspidochelone… So then, you're saying that by being 'swallowed', we were actually consumed by an ocean Phantasmal!?"
"EEEEH!?" Nursery and Jack screamed in total shock.
"Precisely!" X replied with proud fervor. "My spaceship and I were no match for the insatiable appetite of a giant that lurks within the hadal depths of the sea! I must admit though, that thing really has a good eye for food if it found me rather tasty!"
"In what universe is that a compliment!?" Connla shouted angrily.
"You mean other than mine?"
"This is absolutely terrible! I can't believe we've been inside a Phantasmal's innards this whole time! What are we supposed to do to get out of here!?"
"Well, I've been fervently exploring the region in search for Altrium so that I can escape myself. After all, when life gives you lemons, and all that."
Nursery asked, "So you were in the middle of such an expedition when you bumped into us?"
"Indeed. According to my spaceship's clock, I've been trapped here for at least 10 years."
"Ten years… Oh my word. That doesn't sound very promising," Connla moaned, suddenly feeling weak in her chest.
"There are plenty of other Servants in a similar situation like yourselves, but no one has any idea that they're inside Aspidochelone, so they have made no efforts to escape themselves."
"What? Why not?"
X folded her arms and huffed bitterly. "My technology is advanced enough that I can perform a scan of the area, and I was able to reach such a logical conclusion. The other Servants believe they're in some kind of cavern-like world where there is no such thing as a sky or a sun. Having apprised the culture that has been established here, I can safely assume that no one would believe me if I revealed my findings to them. Besides, that would expose the existence of my super high-tech spaceship to the enemy, and according to the Underdeveloped Planet Protection Pact, it is absolutely forbidden to present technology that is too advanced to backwater worlds like this one. That is why I have presented myself as a fellow Terran to the locals while keeping my true identity under wraps."
Nursery then said, "But you had no problem telling us about being an alien."
"You three are different. Since you were just swallowed by the demon, that means you haven't been acclimated to the closed-off culture that the other Servants live in. Anyone who knows that there is an outside world is a welcome ally for me, even if one of you is a Saber."
"Like I said, I'm supposed to be a Lancer," Connla moaned.
Jack spoke over her by wondering, "So what are we supposed to do now?"
"Worry not!" X assured. "Now that there are four of us, the search for the fabled exit can happen at a much faster rate! I can focus my efforts on scouring for Altrium, while you can look for an escape route. If you guys can't find anything, then I promise that once I refuel my spaceship, I'll warp all of us out of here in a flash."
"What about the other Servants?"
"They consider this their home. It will be no loss to them if we surreptitiously make our exit without anyone knowing."
"I don't know about that," Connla murmured despondently. "Even if they don't believe there is an outside world, I think they deserve to know what's going on."
"Pah! Good luck with that! They're too busy with their little faction games to notice the reality surrounding them!"
"Faction games?"
"Ah… Forget I said that. Listen, you guys. If any Servants say that they're from some established group or country, exit hard right immediately! Those Servants will cause you nothing but trouble! Rogue Servants like myself are a safe deal since we haven't sworn allegiance to anyone! In fact, I've made contact with at least one other Servant who is investigating on his own. You should have a word with him as well."
"Um, okay."
"All right, I bid you good tidings with the search!" X exclaimed as she immediately took off in the direction the girls came from. "If you find anything, meet me back here!"
The trio watched her leave for a minute. After a short pause, Connla tilted her head and said, "Well that was exceptionally weird."
"Ha ha ha! She was really funny though!" Nursery giggled. "Even if she attacked us for no good reason, her story was really fun to listen to!"
"Anything and everything is 'fun' to you…"
Jack bounded toward the entrance that X made and pointed down while exclaiming, "Let's check it out then! Anything's better than just sitting around here!"
Connla shrugged and muttered, "No choice then."
The girls ventured through the opening and continued on their journey. Nothing noteworthy happened for a while, other than them fumbling their way through a slimy tunnel that they thought would never end. Connla assumed that they had started at the entry point of Aspidochelone's esophagus and were proceeding downward to the stomach. Just by how long it took them to make any semblance of progress, it was clear to them that the Phantasmal was too gargantuan in size for them to even comprehend. Of course, destroying it from the inside was not an option; Nursery flung a barrage of explosive spells at a soft spot in the wall, and she didn't cause anything other than some minor scratches. They had to give up on such a pointless effort and actually find a natural exit themselves.
As the girls were growing more and more weary of slipping and sliding their way down the fleshy, tube-shaped tunnel, they finally came upon the entrance to the stomach region. The esophagus opened up on the ceiling, so they dropped down one at a time onto a winding hill of sand.
"Phew! Geez, I'm so tired!" Jack complained as she laid back on the wet sand in exhaustion.
"I might have a doll's body, but I still thought I was going to pass out! That is one rabbit hole I never want to go down ever again!" Nursery added.
Connla brushed some goo and sand off herself. She wasn't quite as tired as the others were, so she said, "I'll take a look around to make sure it's safe."
She ran up the wide dune that stretched for at least a mile. Along the way, she noticed small chunks of rotted wood poking out of the sand. One particularly long log had some worn-out sails that were far too eroded to serve any further purpose, meaning that she was looking at the remains of a ship's mast.
"Unbelievable… Just how many shipwrecks are in this place?" she murmured to herself. She counted at least seven or eight battered vessels that Aspidochelone had obviously swallowed. Each of them were in varying states of decay, so they had to have been consumed at different points in time. It was hard for her to make an analysis of the age of these ships, but she was certain the oldest one had to be around 500 years old.
We're currently in 1543 AD, when the Third Singularity happened. By my estimation, the Phantasmal must have existed since around 1000 AD, or perhaps even earlier.
Connla simply didn't have enough information to work with, but at least seeing the wreckages gave her a solid clue as to how long Aspidochelone had been alive for. She stood there and pondered this evidence in silence. All she could hear were distant water droplets splashing onto large puddles in a consistent rhythm. She was so deep in thought that she initially didn't hear Jack and Nursery calling her name.
"Hey, Connla!" Jack shouted while running over the hill.
"Hm? What's the matter?" the Saber wondered as her friends reunited with her.
"You need to take a look at this! Nursery and I found something amazing!"
"Come over here!" Nursery implored and led the way for the others. After laboriously making their way back up the dune, they continued further until they reached a high vantage point where they could get an incredible panoramic view of the stomach region. Connla's eyes widened in sheer astonishment. All she could blurt out was, "What in the world!?"
She stared, momentarily dumbstruck with awe at the sight before her. Before she could really parse what was going on though, Jack suddenly asked, "What is that weird beeping noise?"
"Beeping?" Connla murmured and looked around. Indeed, there was an unusually high-pitched sound ringing in their ears. She looked down at her hand and noticed that the display on her wristband was blinking emphatically. She yelped and exclaimed, "Oh no, I completely forgot!"
Nursery blinked and asked, "What is it?"
"Lord Gilgamesh told me to wear this! It's a transmitter he had Ms. Da Vinci make for me so that he can contact me if he needs anything! Oh, this is bad! I was so caught up with the exploration and my transformation that I completely forgot about reaching him!"
"Isn't that supposed to be good news? We can tell Goldie where we are."
Faced with no other options, and seeing the value in Nursery's suggestion, Connla hesitantly pressed the button to pick up the call. After a brief pause, she murmured, "Little Lancer here…"
A familiar voice on the other end scoffed, "You finally picked up, runt."
"Uh oh," she whispered, noting how irritated the man sounded. She then asked, "Is this Lord Gilgamesh?"
"None other. Do you have any idea how long you have been absent? Making me wait for such a lengthy time to answer my long-distance summons should be compensated with death. The only hope you have of escaping your inevitable sentence is to find a suitable treasure as recompense for my patience."
"A thousand pardons, Your Majesty. No, a million pardons. I promise I was not trying to ignore you. We were simply trying to apprise our current situation."
"Current situation? This better not be some half-hearted excuse you devised."
"You know she's not like that!" Nursery exclaimed. "Listen to this, Goldie! We're inside Mr. Aspid's tummy right now!"
"Huh? I have no idea what you're going on about, mongrel. Explain what you mean to me clearly."
"Allow me," Connla said, then explained everything that Heroine X told them earlier.
"Aspidochelone… I see," Gilgamesh pondered. His foul mood seemed to settle after hearing her story. "The dreaded sea turtle said to be equivalent to Satan in terms of sheer devilry. And you say you're presently inside this monster's gut?"
"Correct."
"You fool! What took you so long to tell me!?"
"I'm really, really sorry, sire," Connla pleaded nervously. "There's just so much we're trying to understand, so-"
"That's not it! Why was I not invited to such a grand adventure!? If anything, destroying a Phantasmal that is wrecking havoc on my property is an event worthy of staving off my boredom!"
"That's what you're upset about!?"
"Hmph. I suppose it can't be helped. I too was careless enough not to have the foresight to anticipate such an occurrence."
"As if anyone could. In any case, I'd say we're deep inside Aspidochelone's stomach right now. There are a significant amount of contents to examine, so I have a decent approximation of how long the beast has been alive. Its appetite knows no bounds – it has swallowed large amounts of sand, earth, water, sailing ships, and a bunch of other things."
"Other things? Specify."
Connla mumbled to herself and panned her eyes everywhere. "There's definitely a huge black lake, though I fear it's not water but stomach acid. There are plenty of islands and boulders for us to trek across though, so we're not in danger of being digested. And then there's also-"
"Look, look, look! There's a golden giant submerged in the goo!" Jack shouted as she and Nursery hopped across some plateaus to reach a massive statue that was partially submerged.
Connla mumbled to Gilgamesh, "There you have it. We've found dozens upon dozens of different treasures from all over the world just lying about randomly."
"Interesting," the king replied. His sudden shift in voice demonstrated an obvious curiosity. "What kind of valuables are we talking about here?"
"Hmm… There's Incan gold, a couple of sailing vessels packed with coins and bullions, plenty of diamonds and gemstones… Oh! Are those the Irish Crown Jewels!?" the young Saber exclaimed as she found a pair of regalia comprised of hundreds of small diamonds. "What a lucky find! I should consider returning these to Dublin as soon as I can!"
"Focus, runt!"
"R-Right! My apologies. There's also a Faberge Egg, the Patiala Necklace, a lot of amber-colored décor, a sarcophagus, plenty of statues… Wow. These things are from so many different periods of history, and from all over the world too. Unfortunately, it's impossible to see if there's anything that's sunken beneath the acid and sand, so I can't make a complete analysis of everything here. Altogether, I'd say its total value is roughly equivalent to Fort Knox's gold reserves."
"Connla!" Jack exclaimed. "What's Fort Knox!? Is it some kind of castle!?"
"No, it's the nickname for the United States Bullion Depository, a massive vault that is located in Fort Knox, Kentucky. It currently holds about 147 million troy ounces of gold, or about 4.5 billion grams, that is worth approximately $236 billion."
"Holy cow! Those are some big numbers! And you're saying there's that much here!?"
"It's hard to say, but I think so."
Just then, they heard Gilgamesh's mirthful laughter over the transceiver as he blurted, "Fuah ha ha ha ha ha! What nerve this beast has, attempting to rival my treasury! I have half a mind to crush that thing beneath the weight of all of the contents of my Gate of Babylon, just to demonstrate that its paltry hoarding fails to even come close to my abilities as a top-class collector!"
"Do you think you could save that for after we find a way out of here?" Connla asked meekly.
"Hmph. I suppose I will have to make do with taking your testimony at face value, runt. Besides, even if I were to board Vimana and scour the seas for Aspidochelone, I assume my efforts will be in vain since the beast can sink far beneath the waves."
"Hey, Goldie!" Nursery shouted. "Don't you have a submarine in that treasury of yours!? You could find us more easily if you did!"
"What an absurd proposition! Even if I did, I would not waste it on a needless expedition, especially when you three are sufficient enough to do the exploring on my behalf!"
"Meanie! We want to escape, not explore!"
"Come on, don't goad him like that," Connla urged. "I'm just happy we can communicate with him and the other Servants like this."
"Oh, fine. Guess we'll have to find an exit by ourselves."
"Well there you go, Lord Gilgamesh. Please let Father, Brother and the others know that we're okay, but that it will take us a while to get back."
They heard him grunt again before he replied, "What an inconvenience this is. I suppose I shall have to make do with employing Mata Hari for the time being, though I am unable to implicitly trust her due to her notorious history. Heed my words; do not tarry with your escape efforts. The longer you are away, the more my impatience to witness the beast's spoils swells within my very soul."
"I understand. We'll work as quickly as possible."
Connla switched off the transceiver, then sighed, "Phew. I'm glad we managed to reach Lord Gilgamesh, but I have a bad feeling that his priorities are completely out of order."
Nursery grinned. "Aw, that's normal for Goldie. Let's just be thankful that he didn't abandon us when he could have easily done so."
"I guess you're right. We truly are cut off from Chaldea otherwise."
Jack returned from ogling at all the treasure, then asked, "So what do we do now?"
Connla shook her head. "There's no point in us staying here, so let's just keep going."
"Aww. I wanted to take a bunch of treasure with me!"
"It'll just weigh us down, and we're already tired enough from passing through the esophagus. Once we escape from Aspidochelone, I'll talk with Master and Lord Gilgamesh to see if we can coordinate a counterattack against it. I certainly don't want this thing to continue causing untold amounts of havoc on sailors and island dwellers any more than it already has."
"Right!" Nursery agreed. "We'll just leave the shiny things here and come back for them later!"
Jack thought about their suggestions, then said, "Hmm… Okay. It's no fun to take the treasure when you haven't even started the adventure yet."
"Hee hee! You say some funny things sometimes!"
Now that they had a plan, they made their way past the desolate islands and mounds of treasure to see where they could continue their journey. It took them a while before they found the opposite side of the stomach region where another tunnel opened up. Jack asked Connla, "Where do you think we'll end up this time?"
"I can't say I'm proficient with turtle anatomy, but I can't imagine it being much too different from a human's. If that's the case, we must be coming upon the small intestine and other organs like the liver, gall bladder and pancreas."
"Do you think we'll find any other Servants along the way?"
"I don't know. I can't believe that Ms. X would lie about others actually calling Aspidochelone's innards their home, but I'm kind of worried about how quiet it's been so far."
"You still don't know how to fight in your new form, don't you?"
"I'm afraid not. I think I got some ideas from watching you fight Ms. X, but if I were caught in a real battle, I don't think I would last very long."
Jack widened her eyes as she had an idea. "Say, why don't I train you?"
Connla boggled at the suggestion. "You, training me?"
"Sure, why not?" the Assassin smiled. "You seem to use the same weapons as me, and X said you looked like a festival dancer."
"A dancer, huh? Is that really the impression I give to you guys?"
Nursery nodded. "Yep, sure do. It makes me think of those dancers you see at summer harvest celebrations. Maybe that's what you're modeled off of."
"Is that so…? If that's what you believe, then perhaps I should devise a new fighting style based off of those ideas."
"Okay! Let's play over here then!" Jack ushered Connla to a wide section of the tunnel leading out of the stomach. The two girls drew their twin blades and got into their combat stances, while Nursery remained off to the side and watched them.
For the next hour, the two fighters sparred against each other in harmless duels. Jack didn't use any of her mist-generating abilities, sticking strictly to her weapons and deft movements so that Connla could pick up on her techniques. It didn't take long for the Saber to come up with a personalized flair to her attacks. She was inspired by Jack's abilities, and her mind often wandered to the sight of Irish dance competitions that she would watch back at Chaldea. Their free-flowing twirling, tapping and gallivanting resonated within her soul, and she could practically hear the sounds of flutes, fiddles, accordions and uilleann pipes orchestrating traditional Irish music that she could dance to.
Connla soon noticed that she was utilizing her legs for powerful kicks and thrusting knife-like jabs along with swiping her daggers at Jack. She didn't seem to think too much about what she was doing – it was more like her body did the thinking on her behalf. Of course, her mind was actively engaged in analyzing her opponent, but her arms and legs seemed to react to her thoughts, and she either countered or avoided each of Jack's strikes with incredible precision.
After being knocked back in midair, Jack landed on her feet, sheathed her swords and shouted, "Wow, you're pretty good! I haven't played that much in a long time!"
"What do you think?" Connla asked. "Do you think I could handle a Servant on my own?"
"I dunno… You're still kinda weak, and you're not as fast as when you're a Lancer."
"My speed stat must have been lowered, and I don't feel particularly stronger. Maybe with enough time and practice, I'll figure out which areas I've improved in and work with that instead."
Nursery clapped and exclaimed, "What an amazing show that was! It was like you two had been dancing together for years!"
Connla bashfully scratched her cheek. "I don't think I was that amazing. I was still kind of clumsy with several of my dodges."
"Don't worry! I barely noticed! You'll only get better from here, right?"
"I suppose so…"
While they were busy with their conversation, that was when they heard a shrill female's laugh echo throughout the vast chamber.
"Ah ha ha ha! What sort of tomfoolery do we have here!?"
The girls jolted in surprise, then looked for where the voice was coming from. Connla gasped, "No way!"
"What's the matter!?" Jack wondered. "You look as white as a sheet!"
"I know this person!"
"Seriously!?"
Nursery looked around, then pointed upward and barked, "Over there!"
Standing atop a flat stalagmite was a familiar purple-haired Chinese girl, but this time she was dressed in little more than a large ornate jacket, a waist cloth, and a thin spaghetti strap that wrapped around her flat chest which (miraculously) served as a bra. The girl leapt off her perch and elegantly landed before the trio. She inspected them for a moment, then grinned, "Well, well. It would seem that you are all strangers to these hallowed caverns. We would know a face when we see one, and we have never seen yours before."
Nursery raised her eyebrows and asked, "Who might you be?"
Before the girl could respond, Connla remarked, "You're Empress Regnant Wu Zetian, aren't you?"
"Such callousness! How could you speak our name on such a casual basis, plebian!?" the scantily-dressed empress retorted angrily. "To think we had the intent of concealing our True Name from you as well, out of respect for your fragile minds being unable to comprehend the weight of being in the presence of someone as great as us!"
"Uh, you see…"
"Hmm?" Wu murmured curiously to herself as she squinted at Connla. "You there, in the white dancer costume. Have we met you somewhere before?"
The confused Saber stuttered, unable to answer that question directly. How in the world was Wu going to believe that Connla met her parallel universe counterpart in a vivid dream? Wu noticed how flustered she was and grinned, "Oh well. Naught more than a passing pang of déjà vu. We will forgive your lapse of judgment in respect for you addressing us by our proper title. That is much more than we could ask out of those simians who attempt to overthrow our reign out of sheer greed."
"My apologies for being so rude," Connla finally said. "You could say I'm already familiar with you, in a sense. I would rather not dwell on that issue though."
"Sounds rather complicated. We are not in the mood to be regaled by pointless stories, so we will take your word for it. Now then, it is our turn for questions. Why are you three gallivanting about in such an isolated sector? One moment, you are fighting each other, the next you are shaking hands? We cannot fathom such blind idiocy!"
"We weren't fighting, we were training!" Jack exclaimed.
"Training?"
"That's right! Connla was just transformed into a Saber, so I was showing her how I fight so she can copy me!"
"Is that so? Why did you not specify this to us earlier? We would have maintained our silence a little longer so we could enjoy your harmless sparring."
"Who do you think you are, calling us your court jesters!? We're not having fun here, you know!"
Wu chuckled. "That is of no consequence to us. Finding you three has disrupted the ever-constant enemy called boredom that has threatened to assail us recently. We were so dispirited with our assured victory that we decided to embark on a personal mission without even our Kuli knowing about it. Just to, as the common folk say, 'shake things up'."
"You're starting to sound an awful lot like Goldie, y'know," Nursery commented.
Connla cringed and jabbed the Caster's arm while chiding, "Let's not bring him up right now."
Wu continued, "But now that we have encountered Servants that we have never seen before, perhaps we should see this as an opportunity to see how you can prove yourselves to us."
"Prove ourselves? What do you mean?"
"The task we have given ourselves is a most mundane one. Such an assignment would be beneath us normally, but our destination is none other than the Palace of Uma."
"Uma?"
"Tell us, plebian," Wu leaned in and tapped Connla's shoulder with her wand. "How much are you aware of the three factions that vie for territorial control over this cavernous world?"
"Nothing whatsoever. We were just swal-" the Saber was about to explain, but then stopped herself and stammered, "I-I-I mean, we were just summoned here! You could say we're just a group of Rogue Servants working together to find any information we can."
"Well aren't you the lucky one? We are feeling most magnanimous at the moment, so we shall impart the knowledge you seek. Of course, this will not be a one-sided affair. Our trust can only be earned if you are willing to reciprocate it."
Jack whispered to Nursery, "I think she just wants to listen to her own voice as much as possible."
"Shh!"
Connla didn't hear them as she asked Wu, "You mean you want us to do something for you in exchange for information?"
"Precisely."
"As long as it isn't too difficult, we can handle it. Is that fine with you, Jack? Nursery?"
"Sure, why not?" Nursery replied with a smile. "If you're a friend of Connla's, then whatever job you have for us has to be pretty easy."
"I just wanna know what's going on here. I don't really care who tells us about it," Jack replied, clearly looking disinterested in the conversation.
Connla faced Wu and said, "Looks like we're in agreement."
"Splendid," the empress' grin broadened. She placed a neatly-wrapped package in Connla's hands and said, "All we need is for you to deliver this gift to the Queen of Uma. It is a token of goodwill and friendship, as well as our symbol of an alliance between our countries to counter Roma's ever-growing influence."
Connla noticed that the box was a little heavy, so she asked, "May I ask what's inside?"
"No, you may not. That is confidential between us rulers."
"I see. Then we'll make sure it gets delivered."
"Good. Now, as for the present situation, we are currently in neutral territory that has not been claimed by any of the three nations competing against each other for land and resources. We already mentioned our rival factions; Uma and Roma. Uma is governed by Queen Parvati and her subordinates, and their culture is based off of Indian and Hindu legend."
Nursery asked, "Where do they get the name Uma from?"
Wu told her, "It is one of Parvati's alternate names. You must be quite surprised to know that such a benevolent goddess could lead a group of citizens in war, but she is actually quite the demon when provoked. Of all three countries, her government is one of peaceful coexistence, as she allows refugees of fallen nations to seek shelter in her territory."
"So there were other kingdoms before?" Connla wondered.
"Of course. Factions pop in and out all the time. It's just that the stronger ones devour the weaker ones and amalgamate their citizens in order to expand their power. In all of history, we do not believe there has ever been this few factions before, which means the time for endless warmongering may soon come to its much-needed conclusion."
"I see. So Uma expands its influence by accepting refugees and those who surrender. You mentioned Roma before. I'm going to hazard a guess that it's based off of the Roman Empire?"
"You are most correct, little one. We are so happy to have met someone so astute," Wu remarked mirthfully. Connla wasn't sure if she was being genuine or sarcastic though. "Roma is chock full of filthy hedonists who are easily swayed by the charisma of incompetent oafs posing as leaders."
"Those are some pretty harsh words."
"They are most well deserved, too. The reason our faction seeks an alliance with Parvati's is to topple those ill-tempered, aggressive brutes. Their territory may be the second-largest of the three countries, but those nations who fall to Roma are forcefully absorbed into their culture and repurposed into slaves. We are certain that the low-tier populace has grown weary of serving those boisterous, self-absorbed simpletons who flounder about at the top of the social rank."
"Could it be that you and Lady Parvati are planning on using those people to incite a coup?"
Wu raised her eyebrows in contemplation and murmured, "Ooh… That's not a bad idea, now that we think about it."
"Huh?"
"Never you mind. As for Roma's rulers, they are governed by the Triumvirate – three of the most influential kings in both Rome and Egypt's histories."
"Wow! Egypt is with Roma too!?" Nursery wondered.
"Of course they are. After all, Gaius Julius Caesar and Cleopatra VII Philopator married so that the pharaoh's much smaller nation could be smoothly absorbed into Roma, on the condition that her people were not treated with the same cruelty as those who lost to them in war. Caesar and Cleopatra comprise two-thirds of the Triumvirate, but their influence pales in comparison to that rowdy half-pint Nero Claudius."
Connla frowned and said, "Well, they do say that triumvirates are supposed to share power equally, but that's rarely ever the case in reality. I've only met Emperor Nero briefly before, and I could already tell that she possesses quite the personality."
"That is putting it most mildly, little one," Wu scoffed and folded her arms in annoyance. "Remiss as we are to admit, while we laugh at her so-called 'talent' as a showman, we cannot say the same for her political capabilities. With but a few orchestrated words of encouragement, she can rally her simple-minded followers to take action, and she is most decisive in whom she targets. We swear, the only reason Nero has been so successful is because her citizens are vastly dumber than her."
Jack blurted, "That's not very nice to say! You can't go blaming the people for the king's stupidity!"
"Pah! We do not wish to be lectured by one who is blatantly ignorant of Roma's brainwashed society! If we were in your position, we would exercise silence in the matter!"
"Hmmmngh!"
"Calm down, Jack," Connla assured her. "Lady Wu has a right to her opinion. Whether or not we agree with it is up to us."
"Hmph… phooey. I don't care anymore," the Assassin grunted and sauntered away boredly.
Wu dismissed the impatient serial killer and told Connla, "Presently, Nero is engaged in organizing some kind of silly event she has dubbed Nerofest, or whatever. Apparently, the monkeys she commands are so hungry for battle that even she has trouble containing them, so she periodically organizes a coliseum-type event to let them vent their stress. A pointless affair, if you ask us."
"But it presents an opportunity for you to secretly make contact with Lady Parvati while Emperor Nero is preoccupied."
"Oh ho. For such a rascal, you catch on quick. What do you think about becoming our strategist? With you on our side, the plots we can concoct would be most tactical and surreptitious indeed. If all goes well, our country would reign supreme in no time whatsoever!"
"Uh, I think we should focus on one thing at a time," Connla replied nervously. "First we have to deliver this package to Lady Parvati on your behalf. Anything else will have to wait until afterwards."
"Fair enough. It would not benefit either party for us to be too hasty with such plans."
Nursery chimed in by asked, "So what about your country, Empress Wu? You haven't said anything about that yet."
"Ah, our beautiful, glorious nation…" Wu crooned in delight. "We are most pleased with your healthy curiosity, child of fairy tales. We purposefully did not mention our kingdom since we wanted to save the best for last."
"Ha ha! I can already tell that you love your country a lot!"
"Indeed we do!"
Connla interjected, "I can see that too, but do you think you could keep your explanation short? We don't want to delay in running your errand, after all."
"Fie! We were giddy with glee at telling you all about our country, yet we cannot ignore the urgency of your job either. Very well, we shall give you the abridged version. As you may no doubt know already, we are the Queen of Zhou, the nation comprised of Chinese locals and those who were absorbed into us, such as the Romanians and Japanese."
"Where do you get the name Zhou from?"
"Goodness! Are you that oblivious to our storied history!? Zhou is none other than the dynasty that we ruled during the middle of the Tang dynasty! No relation to the Zhou dynasty that occurred between 1046-256 BC, of course."
"So your dynasty sort of interrupted the Tang dynasty?"
"Excuse us, but we refer to it as a highlight, not an interruption!"
"Oh, okay…"
"We could go on about the political structure we have carefully constructed over the years, though we fear there is little time for that. We shall make do with stating that, should you three be successful in your mission, you will be welcomed into Zhou with most open arms. Earning the favor of the empress is an honor that you should not pass up!"
"Then I suppose we should get going. This package isn't going to deliver itself."
"But, how are we supposed to get to Uma from here? We can't make heads or tails of anything in these caves," Nursery said.
"Not to worry," Wu assured, then pointed down one of the forked pathways. "You simply need to continue down that road, and you will come upon a large open area full of water and lotus flowers. Uma Palace resides upon that lake."
"Oooh, that sounds really pretty! I wanna see it!"
Connla snapped, "This is not a sightseeing tour. We have to remember our primary objective as well."
"Yeah, I know. We're just making a quick pit stop there. If this Parvati lady is as nice as Empress Wu says, maybe she'll give us directions, or even a map!"
"Good idea. Let's go see."
"You three be careful now," Wu told them as they were about to depart. "Word is that one of Parvati's subordinates has quite the nasty temper. You should mind your manners whenever he's around."
"Thank you for the advice. Maybe we will see each other again soon," Connla said.
The empress watched them leave and waved in farewell for a bit. Once they were gone, she put her arms behind her back and grinned broadly.
"He he he he he… Oh goodness, that was much too easy. It took everything we had not to laugh at how gullible those children were. Now then, with Parvati's destruction assured, we should return home and observe how this farce plays itself out."