Hello, this is Sapphire! I've written this from a prompt by Shiranai Atsune:
-Team Voltron finds out that there's a popular tv show about them (not the actual show but a fictional one
-But it could be a cartoon based on the actual one). There are even fandoms, merch, and everything
Disclaimer: I am not bashing any ships in this. This is absolutely just me making fun of my nonexistent romance writing skills. The Voltron team is a found family in this one.
This is for Shiranai Atsune: sorry I took so long!
oooOOOOooo
"Look at this!"
Hunk jerked towards the sound of the voice. Was something wrong?
"It's Voltron merch!" Pidge shouted.
Hunk relaxed. Everything was fine. There were no evil aliens attacking from nowhere. That was good.
"Oh my gosh, are you serious?!" Lance exclaimed, rushing over to where Pidge stood. "They're adorable!"
Hunk was curious, now. What exactly were they calling cute?
Hunk calmly walked over to where the pair were gushing. "Let me see."
"It's a plushie doll!" Pidge exclaimed, shoving it into Hunk's arms. He held it out in front of him to see what it looked like: a mini version of himself. The eyes were squishy little slits, but other than that, it was relatively lifelike.
"There's one for each of us! Including Allura and Coran!" Lance added.
Hunk huffed out a laugh, "Well, then we should get all of them! I'm sure Keith will love it."
oooOOOOooo
Shiro was looking for food when he saw it.
He noticed that there was a huge sign with the title "Voltron" written on it in fancy letters.
Out of curiosity, he went to check it out.
Glancing through the merchandise, there were several plushies of lions, but then it caught his eye.
It was a video series. About them. About his teammates. About him.
There was no way they weren't watching this as a team.
They needed a bit more 'team bonding' anyways.
oooOOOOooo
Keith ran. He had no idea what to do. There were a ton of aliens that had congregated around one area, and when he went to check it out, he got bombarded, grabbed all over, and had been forced to run away.
Were they enemies? Were they trying to kill him?
"Keith! We want your autograph!" he heard one person shout.
Keith realized with sinking dread that they were somehow fans of his.
"You're not really dating Lance, are you?"
Keith almost tripped.
oooOOOOooo
"I found a video based off us," Shiro announced, putting a disk on the central table.
"We found plushie dolls!" Lance announced as he dumped them on top of the video.
"I got chased by fans," Keith muttered.
"We have a fandom!" Pidge announced.
oooOOOOooo
The team settled down in front of the screen Coran pulled up. They'd even managed to rope Allura into watching the video.
It opened to a set that was like an Earthen desert. There were several trees that appeared out of place. There were 4 actors on screen, presumably Keith, Pidge, Lance, and Hunk.
"Keith!" an actor cried out.
"Yes, my dearest Lance?"
Keith let out a choked noise.
"Look, over there! It appears to be a spaceship!" actor Lance continued.
"Let us go check it out, my love, Hunk!" a third actor announced, grabbing the last one's hand.
"They didn't," Pidge hissed.
"I think they did," Hunk moaned.
"Wait, Pidge! Before we depart!" actor Hunk cried out and promptly pulled actor Pidge into a kiss.
Actor Keith and actor Lance glanced over at the pair and began making out as well.
"That's enough," Coran announced turning the video off.
"I think I've been scarred," Lance moaned.
"I love you, but not like that," Keith muttered.
"Agreed," Hunk and Pidge replied in unison.
"I wonder who they put me with," Shiro mused.
"Probably Allura," Coran replied.
"But I'm dating Lotor."
"Complex love triangle? Polyamory? Who knows, maybe they erased Lotor altogether," Pidge pointed out.
"Or maybe they replaced Shiro with Lotor. None of that is accurate," Keith offered.
"Now I want to keep watching it," Hunk complained.
"No!" everyone else said in unison.
"That was horribly written. I feel like I missed a part, but that was the beginning," Allura added.
"I'm debating between destroying it and framing it," Shiro added.
"Frame it! Frame it!" Pidge chanted.
"Can I watch it by myself and explain the romance shenanigans they pulled on us?" Hunk asked.
"Fine," Coran decided.
"Write it down," Pidge suggested as they left the room. Everyone else filtered out behind her, until it was just Coran and Hunk left in the room.
"Have fun, I guess," Coran stated as he pressed play and left Hunk alone.
oooOOOOooo
"It was insane! There was so much drama between Lotor, Shiro, Allura, and this Altean girl named Romelle? I don't even know where she came from, I'm pretty sure she doesn't exist," Hunk announced.
"What was endgame?" Lance asked.
"They had Lotor die, apparently as a villain? Something about him harvesting an Altean colony for quintessence? It was very confusing. Shiro was also replaced with Haggar's clone at one point and almost killed Keith, too! Allura and the Altean Romelle got together in the end. Lance died in the end because he offered his soul up to save the world from destruction because Haggar, who apparently is Lotor's mother, decided to try to destroy the world to get back her son. Keith became a farmer. It was a wild show!" Hunk explained.
"I became a farmer?" Keith questioned.
"I died?!" Lance exclaimed.
"I ended up dating a nonexistent Altean girl?" Allura moaned.
"I got replaced with a clone?!" Shiro cried.
"What about me?" Coran asked.
"Oh, you were never there in the first place. They wrote you out," Hunk admitted.
"And me and you?" Pidge askded.
"We got married. So much domestic fluff, it was ridiculous."
"That was horrible. We should do this never again," Kieth suggested.
"Agreed," everyone else chimed in perfect unison.
oooOOOOooo
So, obviously some things are different in this fic. Once again, it is not my intention to bash on ships. This is just meant to be funny. Please read and review!