hello everyone!
guess I couldn't stay away from this series for too long. I actually had the idea for this small one shot a little over a week ago, but it took me a while to finish it.
This work is following "Patient Love", and I recommend you read the first one before attacking this one, even if you would probably be able to understand it on its own anyway.
I have no excuse. it's literally just domestic bliss, and tired parents.
English is not my first language, so you'll have to excuse my grammar mistakes.
Don't hesitate to tell me what you guys thought about it! xx
Jemma awoke with a quiet gasp. The room was still plunged into semi darkness, but a small flicker of light from the moon allowed her to look at her surroundings as she blinked the remaining of sleep away from her eyes.
"Fitz?" she whispered, feeling the bed dip as he moved.
A small 'beuhh' interrupted her, and Jemma felt her lips stretch into a smile.
"Well hello there" she whispered, eyes growing accustomed to the darkness and finding the two months old baby wriggling on the mattress right in between Fitz's body and hers.
"She was hungry" Fitz said, hand curled protectively on Alya's belly. "You didn't hear her cry, so I figured I could calm her down a little before coming back to bed. But little miss here is hungry, and she won't fall back to sleep."
Right on cue, Alya let out a small whine, little fists punching the air as she wriggled a little harder. Jemma couldn't see her face properly, but she guessed the little pout twisting her lips, like every time she woke up hungry.
"Alright, alright" she chuckled lightly, propping her pillow against the headboard to hold her back comfortably. "Come here you little monkey."
Alya let out a happy gurgle when Fitz cradled her in his arms, letting Jemma open her night shirt. Her breasts were heavy with milk, which made her grimace slightly, and she used a pillow to prop her arm for Fitz to put Alya against her chest up to her breasts level. They had a routine now, as Fitz very rarely let her get up at night when Alya cried, always jumping out of bed first. She was a pretty calm baby, and she'd started sleeping through some nights already, but she had her father's stomach and some nights she couldn't prevent herself from crying for a feeding.
As soon as Alya was in her arms, she immediately turned her little face against Jemma's breast, mouth open in a small "o" as she searched for the nipple. She let out a small cry of frustration as she struggled, and Jemma chuckled tiredly, guiding the pointed tip against her lips. As soon as her mouth closed on it and she started drinking, Jemma let out a small sigh. The first few gulps were always a little painful on her abused nipples, but the sensation always got a little easier as she fed.
"Comfortable?" Fitz asked as he laid back on the bed, creeping closer to his wife.
"Hmm."
Now that Alya was feeding, her entire body relaxed at the familiar sensation. She could feel herself drift back to sleep already, trying to blink herself awake.
Against her ear, Fitz chuckled. "You can go back to sleep if you want" he said, kissing her temple. "I'll take care of her when she's done."
"Ugh" Jemma grumbled, stifling a yawn. "Shouldn't I be more invested in this?"
She gestured at her now slightly sleepy daughter as she drank, little eyes fluttering shut as she obviously tried to stay awake through the feeding. A small bead of milk was trickling down her cheek, and Fitz wiped it with his thumb gently.
"There's no rules in breastfeeding Jemma" Fitz replied, his smile bleeding through his words. "Just because you're sleepy since it's" he threw a glance at his watch, the screen lightening up slightly at the movement "four twenty in the morning, doesn't mean you're a bad mum."
"Still" Jemma countered, shaking her head. "When you listen to some mums, they're so invested in breastfeeding and it's the best thing in their life. I like it, I really do, and Alya is adorable but… first of all there are days when I feel like my nipples are gonna fall off because they're so sore, and second I would gladly go back to sleep when I have to feed her in the middle of the night." she stopped, taking a deep breath. "Maybe that makes me a bad mum."
"Jemma" Fitz whispered, catching her free hand. "You're not a bad mum because your breasts hurt and you're sleepy. You've got a 2 months old baby, who's been exclusively breastfed her entire life including several times in the middle of the night. You're doing amazing, and I won't let you tell yourself otherwise."
Jemma felt her heart jump in her chest at Fitz's words. There were a lot of things that were especially scary about pregnancy, and she very often found that planning things did not always go according to plan with a baby. But through it all, Fitz had been her rock. She's always known he would make a great father, but she never imagined how much parenthood would change him. It had been a little bit of a revelation as he'd first laid eyes on his daughter, and he never ceased to amaze her with every day that passed. From being there for everything from her pregnancy and the birth —Fitz had always been squeamish around fluids, including and most importantly body fluids, but he hadn't even hesitated upon being there in the delivery room— to waking up in the middle of the night and taking care of both Rose and Jemma whenever he could, he was simply amazing. Jemma had simply no idea how she would have done without him by her side, and tonight was another one of those examples.
"Maybe we could start alternating milks" she eventually said in a small voice.
Fitz had offered to get baby formula one night as Jemma had grimaced when Alya attacked her chafed and sore nipple with her lips for the third time that evening, insisting that he'd be able to feed her at night without waking her up as well. But guilt had immediately made Jemma refuse, feeling like alternating between baby formula and mother's milk was kind of an 'easy way' for her to handle things. She couldn't really ask her mother for advice as she'd never breastfed her, and she was too shy and felt way too guilty to ask Judy for advice, no matter how much she'd insisted.
"Yeah?" Fitz asked, voice gentle. "I can go to the pharmacy tomorrow, ask for some. And get you a cream for your nipples, too."
"Yeah that…" she cleared her throat, emotions bubbling inside of her. "That would be amazing. Thank you, Fitz."
"Anything, Jemma."
And she knew he meant it. Fitz had crossed galaxies for them to be together, resisted torture and sacrificed himself more than once so that she could live. But somehow, since they had a child, Jemma always had this scared little voice at the back of her head telling her that she was asking for too much. She knew it probably came from her lack of motherly bond, but Fitz was always so eager to help and always so perfect at his father role that she felt a little overwhelmed at times.
"I love you" she eventually said again, squeezing Fitz's hand in hers. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, Jem, everyday a little more. You're such an amazing mum, and I won't let you tell yourself otherwise."
She chuckled. "Says the amazing dad who always knows how to handle situations when I stress out."
"Are you kidding?" Fitz huffed. "It's total improvisation. I freak out just as much as you do, I'm just better at hiding it apparently."
And this, there, was the reason why she loved him so much. With a chuckle, she brought his hand to her lips to kiss them, before grabbing the front of his sleep shirt to bring their mouths together. It felt good to have the chance to properly kiss him, which they didn't always have since the baby was born.
"There's no one I'd rather do this parenthood adventure with" Fitz insisted, warm breath caressing her lips as he pulled back slightly. "I love you, and I'm so happy we got our little monkey."
To accentuate his statement, he looked down at Alya with a small smile. Her eyes were totally closed now, and Jemma could feel that her succion was less energetic as well, and she knew she was probably seconds away from falling asleep against her mum's breast.
"Can you believe we made this?" Jemma whispered as she dragged the tip of her finger against Alya's cheek, delighted with the way her little nose scrunched at the touch. "We've created a lot of things over the years, but I think she's our most perfect creation."
She felt Fitz push his head against her shoulder, angling his body so that he was halfway facing her and could put his hand on Alya's head, cradling it delicately.
"Yeah, right? All of our other creations seem completely worthless now." Fitz hummed. "Even the dwarves. And I didn't think I could say that one day."
Jemma chuckled lightly. Her fingers kept on stroking Alya's soft skin, loving the way it felt against her palm. Their daughter had light blonde hair for now and her eyes were still a light shade of grey, but they both knew it could change any moment now. Secretly, Jemma hoped her hair would stay blonde like her father's, and she would have the soft curls he had at the Academy.
"It is a little stressful, if you think about it" Jemma finally said with a sigh. "To know that she's growing up so fast, and that not so long ago she was still in my belly. I could protect her from anything, back then. Now… Now she's her own person, and somehow I find this frightening." she stopped, biting the inside of her cheek. "Is it weird?"
Fitz smiled. "No, Jemma, it's not. The things we've lived through… it changed us. And I think we're allowed to freak out when it comes to our daughter, even if we left SHIELD months ago now."
"I always fear something's gonna happen to her. Sometimes I have to fight myself not to wake up in the middle of the night to check on her, even though she's blissfully asleep."
"Me too" Fitz confessed, and Jemma didn't have to see him in the darkness to know that he was probably red in the face. "The first time she didn't wake up for her usual bottle at 2am, I couldn't help but check on her and nearly woke her up when I checked her breathing."
Jemma couldn't help but laugh, the movements of her giggle snatching the nipple right out of Alya's mouth. The babe immediately whined, eyes popping open in the darkness and little lungs filling with air as she prepared herself to protest.
"Shhhh" Jemma soothed her immediately, arranging her breast so that the child could latch on it.
She didn't think she'd grow accustomed to the soft cooing and sucking sounds coming out of her daughter's mouth as her little mouth opened and closed in search of her nipple. As soon as she found it though, she was back to suckling with soft sighs of content, and both Fitz and Jemma couldn't hold back their smiles.
"Next time" Jemma remarked as she stifled yet another yawn, "I'll feed her when lying down, so that we can both fall asleep like this and catch some extra zzzs."
Fitz chuckled tiredly, his breath caressing the side of Jemma's neck as he leaned down against her a little more. The weight of her husband against her coupled with her daughter in her arms made Jemma's heart swell with love.
"Oh to fall asleep with Jemma Simmons' boob in your mouth" Fitz whispered teasingly in response..
"Fitz!" Jemma gasped. "You can't just… say that."
"Oh yeah? Because I just did."
It was too dark in the room for him to see, especially from his position, but Fitz was about absolutely certain that Jemma had just rolled her eyes at him. He chuckled lightly in response, kissing her temple.
"It's not like Rosie's gonna tell anyone, anyway" he added with a smirk. "She's pretty busy right now, and she shares my love for your boobs, so I'm sure she agrees with me."
"Oh yeah" Jemma replied dryly, even if there was no real heat behind her words. "She really inherited from your love of my breasts, coupled with your stomach and your grumpiness in the mornings."
"Hey! That's not true. I'm not grumpy."
"Fitz, I've seen you tell Daisy once on the bus that you'd never speak to her again if she woke you up before 7 one more time."
Fitz huffed. "First of all, it's been almost 10 years. And second, just because miss Jemma Simmons likes to wake up at 5:45 to work out, doesn't mean everyone else likes to be woken up before it's socially acceptable." He stopped then, staying silent for a few seconds before adding. "You'd totally push me out of bed if you didn't have a baby in your arms, would you?"
"You think?" Jemma deadpanned, her scowl turning into an amused smile when Fitz stifled his laughter against her shoulder.
Alya let out a small sigh of content then, catching both their attention —like so very often since she'd been born. Jemma felt her lips part around yet another smile as she looked at the way her daughter completely relaxed, in her embrace, little fists unclenching slowly as she was lured to sleep by her rapidly filling belly. Fitz caught her tiny hand in his, marvelling in the way fingers immediately wrapped around his index.
"Do you remember how we couldn't stop counting her little fingers and toes back in the hospital right after she was born?" Jemma whispered. "I know it sounds ridiculous and it's a biological response but I don't think I'd seen a most perfect baby before."
Fitz huffed against her neck. "It's not ridiculous, it's just the truth. We made the world's most perfect baby."
Perhaps it was because the night was still dark and she didn't really feel like arguing with her husband, or perhaps it was simply because no matter how irrational it was, she sort of shared the same belief, but Jemma simply shook her head with amusement at that. "Yeah" she finally whispered. "I think we did."
Soon enough, Alya was spent, and her pink little lips parted around the nipple as she yawned, turning her head slightly and nuzzling the soft skin of Jemma's breast. Fitz let out a chuckle at the sight, while Jemma used her sleep shirt to wipe off the small droplets of milk smeared around Rose's mouth.
"It's daddy's time to shine now" Fitz said as he grabbed his daughter delicately, securing her head with careful hands. As he held her against his chest, waiting for her to burp, Alya let out a small whine of protest. She looked about ready to fall asleep already now that her belly was filled with milk, and when the feeling of her daddy's chest was usually enough to lure her to sleep, the position in which she was held to burp didn't exactly allow the kind of rest she desperately craved.
"Yeah, yeah, I know" Jemma chuckled, unable to resist the need to reach out and stroke the bridge of Alya's nose one last time. "We're annoying. Especially your daddy."
Fitz gasped in fake annoyance, but every verbal protest he could have raised was cut off by a small burp. "And there we go!" he whispered, arranging Alya a little better in the crook of his arm. Her small eyelids fluttered as he kissed the top of Jemma's forehead and got up from the bed. "I'm gonna put her down, I'll be right back."
Jemma watched him leave with a small smile on her face. With a sigh, she pulled down her sleeping shirt to cover her breasts once again, and swung her legs out of bead to head to the bathroom. Alya's late night feedings were something she had no idea she'd eventually miss, but she realized now that her daughter didn't need her quite as much during the night that she sort of missed it. Sure, she didn't actually miss being woken up every two hours by a loud and crying little being throwing a tantrum because she was hungry, but Fitz and her had found a balance and rhythm and it was sort of scary to realize how fast her daughter was growing.
Sighing as she relieved herself and washed her hands, she spared a look at herself in the mirror and noticed the deep bags under her eyes. They looked a little smaller than a couple of weeks ago thought, she thought as she turned off the lights and headed back to bed. Fitz was already under the covers arranging his pillows as she walked in and slid right in the bed next to him.
"Hopefully she'll sleep until at least 10 am" he whispered as Jemma pushed her back to him, curling his body around hers like they'd done for most of her pregnancy.
With a swollen belly in between them, they'd soon found out that their usual sleeping position —Jemma's head resting against Fitz's chest— was pretty much compromised. So they'd started spooning, Fitz wrapping himself around his wife protectively, and as Jemma breastfed Alya, her breasts were still too sore to be pressed tight against the hard length of Fitz's chest. So they'd kept their newfound sleeping position, and Jemma had to admit that she loved it.
"Yeah, I wouldn't count on that" she replied eventually, words slightly muffled by her pillow.
Fitz hummed against the back of her neck. "Shhhh. Don't jinx it."
And as much as she wanted to sass back, Jemma felt herself slip into a deep slumber in no time, her husband's arms wrapped tight around her.
update: on august 22, I changed the original name I'd chosen (Rose) to Alya, to fit canon a little more.
you can follow me on twitter /keptinonzebridg or on my fanfic dedicated account, /phlebotinxm. xx