To the people of Remnant, they presumed for most part that there was only one plain of existence. The only way to possibly be real is if it was found in their dimension. The idea of multiverse wasn't touched upon a lot in the kingdoms as the theory wouldn't help them in the battle against Grimm. If only they truly knew just what lurked beyond their reality.
There is a universe where Remnant never existed. Instead, there was a planet named Earth. The most gleaming aspect of it was its lack of development. Even its most high tech countries didn't stand a chance against Menagerie, which is considered the least progressed island of Remnant. Despite its pitiful technology, Earth had the pleasure of never needing to face Grimm. In that world, something like that would only be seen in a fairy tale. Now, this doesn't mean it has no anomalies lurking in its corners. Although, it was just one. One that had solid evidence of being real and science had no clue of where it came from.
There is a land on that planet named California. In that area of land, there was a city named Burbank. The reason it is brought up is because that is where one will find that oddity that the most brilliant of minds can't decipher. On one street corner, there is an empty lot in the middle of two houses. The only thing that was on this small area was a mound of dirt. At a first glance, it looked like a pillar of earth that somebody built for no apparent reason. Yet if one would look towards the sky and where the tower ended. They'd be astonished to find that there was a small piece of land sitting peacefully at the top. Making it look like a mushroom with a very skinny stem. Except it didn't end there. Looking further up, one will see a building that had somehow been built atop this hill. The structure was no bigger than a large shed with the only sign of life in there being the dim light that glowed at night. Not even the residence of the two houses it was sandwiched between dared to figure out what lived inside.
"Lyle, what would you do if you were drinking some delectable apple cider. It was the middle of fall and your sitting outside on the porch." Zach asked.
"Okay, I'm drinking my cider." Lyle stated.
"Yes, and it was made by Chris. Okay?"
"Alright." said Lyle.
"Now when you're just finishing it up. You think to yourself 'Oh my God, this is the greatest thing I have ever drank'. You think about giving Chris a compliment."
Lyle widened his eyes in surprise. "Oh."
"But as you go inside to thank Chris, he laughs at you. He says: 'Hah! Your drinking my piss you dumb cunt!'." Zach finishes.
"Well, I'd ask Chris why the hell does he have such tasty urine." Lyle replied, "Cause its kind of confusing how he'd be able to make it taste like apples."
Chris jumped in, "Lyle you dumbass, I clearly ate a ton of apples and pissed in a pitcher, duh."
Lyle looked at his friend and yelled, "Why is that your explanation?! You could've just said you drank a ton of apple juice! Eating them wouldn't make your pee taste like apples. If anything your shit would taste like apples!"
"Okay, I drank a lot of apple juice." Chris confirmed.
"No, no, you acted like you knew what you were saying. Now you have to explain how eating apples made your piss taste like apple cider!"
"Fuck! Okay it went through my liver, alright?" Chris explained.
"How did it get in your liver to begin with-
"Lyle! Just answer the damned hypothetical already!" Zach shrieked.
"Fine, then after I asked my questions I'd hit Chris over the head with my glass." Lyle answered.
"Why are you hitting me over the head?!" Chris gasped.
"You made me drink your piss asshole-
All of a sudden, the couch that they were sitting on collapsed onto the floor. Trapping the men in and needing to push it off to free themselves. In their confusion, they didn't notice their friend heaving his chest in anger. He had always kept the couch propped up over his head. Yet the only Once they were aware, an annoyed Chris shouted to Tomar "What the hell Tomar! Made us lose the progress in the level!"
He then pointed to the television set that was streaming the game: F*ck Mr. Hatcher. Yet all Tomar could say to that was simply: "That is the least of our concern."
Disturbed by his deep and booming voice, Lyle asked "What's going on man? Did you feel like someone disliked a 'The Pondering Llama' video?"
The large man turned from his friends without an answer and looked to the window. His furrowed brow and grimace reflecting on it. He slowly turned his head with a menacing grumble. "Might I ask you three, do you have your emeralds?" he questioned.
The three men looked to each other instantly and all took out their gems that were uniquely meant for them each. Lyle reached inside the tuft of his spiked hair and pulled out a yellow crystal. Zach stretched his cosmetically sized left nostril and shoved his tiny hand inside. Digging for a moment, he came out with a snot covered grey crystal. The only one to not have grabbed his out yet was Chris. Who patted around his body even though he knew he didn't have it. Enraged, Tomar rotated to face his tubby little friend. Then, like if he was grabbing a teddy bear grabbed Chris by his shoulders. Like a psychopath, he smiled to his friend with glee and talked in his regular goofball voice. "I want you to explain to me now why you don't have yours with you." he demanded, "I said for bedim, 'that you always needed to have it with you.'."
"Uhm, do you need it now?" Chris whimpered.
Tomar lowered his eyebrows and now had on him a sadistic smile. Knowing what that meant, Chris explained, "Alright, I don't have my emerald with me! I admit it!"
"Why do you not have your mystic gemerald?" Tomar questioned, "Its a strong source of power Christopher. If something would happen to it then our whole existence might be shattered. I would expect you to be more intelligent than that."
"Oh well you don't need to worry about that. Because I made sure that it no mere plebian could take it." Chris explained.
"How so?"
"I used its power to create a small shrine to place the emerald. Far in some random forest that nobody will dare suspect. Ain't nobody getting in there anytime soon."
"No one you say?"
"Yes soiree Bob-
Tomar reeled Chris over his shoulders and hurled the tubby lad to the ground in front of him. As soon as the Irishman slammed onto the ground, he jiggled like jelly from the impact. Without even letting Chris adjust to what happened, Tomar flipped him onto his back and jabbed his foot right into his soft little tummy. "Then how come I can sense it being in danger?!" boomed the bearded man.
His low voice caused the entire room to vibrate, Zach lost balance and tripped onto the floor. Once the ringing in their ears stopped, Chris whimpered, "W-What do you mean?"
"You heard me right, some unknown force has taken hold of it. But I can't determine what it is." Tomar responded, "As soon as an emerald is in trouble, I can feel who bares it in their presence. May it be a human, dog, hawk, or even a cockroach."
"Can you detect a monkey?" Chris chuckled.
Tomar didn't get amused by his friend's joke and punted him towards Lyle. Who hadn't enough time to react. Instantly, the two of them hit the wall behind them. Creating a large crack in the sheetrock. "What the hell was that for? I have my emerald." asked the Latino Cream King.
"You got in the way of my kick." Tomar grunted as he walked up to the two.
Grabbing Chris by the nipples, the bearded man raised him upwards to stare him dead in the eye. "What street is it on?"
Trying as hard as he could to ignore the piercing pain of his tittie twister, Chris squeaked. "It's. Not. In. Burbank."
Tomar pressed his fingers tighter on Chris's teats trying to suppress his true strength from being released. "Is it in California?"
"Not even in America." Chris whimpered.
"Ireland?"
"No."
"On Earth?"
"No."
"In a different dimension?!" Tomar growled, his spit hitting his friend's face.
"Yeah."
With that, the deity dropped Chris from his clutches and stroked his chin. "Perhaps that's the reason I can't feel the vermin. It might be because its genetic makeup isn't like that of any Earthling."
Lyle helped Chris onto his feet and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "How the hell did you make it to a different dimension?"
"I bought a Gummi Ship." Chris informed.
"A Gummi Ship? Like, from Kingdom Hearts?" Lyle asked.
Chris massaged his damaged nipples "Yeah, off of EBay."
"Should I even ask how that's even possible?" Lyle furrowed his brow in annoyance.
"Don't think the reader really cares." Zach interrupted.
Tomar looked back at the small men in front of him. "Where is the vehicle. We must make haste in retrieving the gem."
Chris not wanting to get his breasts more purple than they already were immediately ran to the door and opened it for everyone. One by one, they exited the small shack. While Tomar, Zach, and Chris walked over to the edge of the grass, Lyle went around the building to grab the ladder. Yet the bald tormentor being as impatient as he was, decided that a much quicker route would be to hurl them all over the side. Without warning, he picked up Chris and Zack then threw both of them down onto the base of the mound. When Mcdouchebag returned, he instantly dropped the equipment and ran in the opposite direction screaming "Nah, fuck that shit!"
He clearly forgot he was in the presence of a supernatural being. Why else would he attempt to run when he knew full well that such an action would result in a punishment? Not even flinching, Tomar ran in front of Lyle. Giving the illusion that he had teleported. Bending down, the two of them touched foreheads (but no homo though) "Where the fuck do you think your going?" Tomar questioned.
Just a few seconds later, the spikey haired man was plummeting to the ground squealing like a baby. Considering his velocity, he assumed that he'd splatter all over the concrete. He didn't know what religion to pray to. There was such a variety he couldn't think of one at the top of his head that would save him from damnation. So he decided to go with the first that he thought was good enough. "PLEASE LORD GOKU DON'T SEND ME TO THE SHADOW REALM-
Before his prayer could reach the heavens, his face smashed into the stone. Leaving his body resting in the air. Lyle sat there for a few seconds, knowing that the sharp pain of his blow to the head would soon hiss. Though that wait was halted as the feeling of stubby little hands applying force onto his back. Afterwards, his body fell onto its stomach. Knowing exactly who did it, he pealed his face from the ground to groan, "Did that make you happy you little shit?"
"Kind of, Chris got to break my fall so that was neat." Zach said, " Look at his body just sitting there."
The troll's tiny finger pointed towards the pancake of a body that was Chris. His form was similar to that of liquid the way it was splashed across the pavement. If it weren't for his black dots for eyes blinking, they would've assumed he had died. The two solid formed funni boys began collecting all the white goo that was their friend to pile it into a single mass. Once it looked somewhat humanoid, they backed away to give him space. At first the glob stood still, however it eventually sprung into the air. Where it manifested into Chris who was in a daze from his recently cured injury.
While Zach and Lyle watched him being in distress, they ignored the behemoth that ascended from the sky. Tomar had his eyes sealed shut, his palms in direction of the clouds. In a matter of moments the bearded figure placed his giant elephant feet onto the concrete. When he was completely on the ground, he shouted "Where is the Gummi Ship?!"
The three boys became startled from his booming voice and shot their attention towards Tomar. The sudden scare resulted in Chris coming back to his senses. So he instantly responded with a joke "Right this way children. We will at the minivan very soon."
Going with the bit, Zach added on "Oh Mommy, can we stop to get McDonalds on the way?" in a high pitched voice, "I would just love it if we got some delectable chicken nuggies."
"Erm, I don't know you should ask your Dad. He's the one with the credit card." Chris said implying Lyle would be the father in this situation.
"Daddy dearest, can we please get the nuggies with golden fries dipped in sweet and sour?" Zach asked.
"Anything for you my son. You beautiful fruit of my loins! Let us obtain the McDonalds on the way to your grandmother's house." Lyle answered in a cartoonish manly voice reminiscent of a small youtuber with very little subs going under the name: Markiplier.
As they shared their jokes, they entered into the streets of Burbank. Where to the side of the road was a very angular space ship decorated in bright reds, yellows, and oranges. It remained parked until Chris pulled from his belly button a set of car keys. Flipping through a couple, he spotted the one that went to the vehicle. Pressing his teeny tiny finger on the unlock button, he went on top of it to pull the spherical window. Popping the fucker off, the boys quickly made their way inside of it.
Using his skills mastered from multiple hours of Kingdom Hearts, Chris gave his most toothy grin. Exposing his rotten gums in the process. But the beam wasn't enough, he needed more power. He turned to his friends and pleaded for them to smile with him. To which they all did except for Tomar, where all of them did a light hearted smirk. He gave the most sinister of leers. One that would make any grown man shit themselves. Anyway, they thought it would be enough. Yet, to their dismay that wasn't the case. It only was able to levitate off the ground. It could have been because they weren't genuine with their happiness. They fabricated their joy as they didn't want to be there. If nothing was done soon, Tomar would smite them with a powerful slap of the buttocks.
When all hope seemed lost, from the corner of the next street came a man running at high speeds. The man stopped in his tracks as soon as he got to the Gummi Ship. Putting their eyes against the glass, they realized exactly whom it was. With his fedora and trench coat standing tall, Linkara gleamed his pearly whites at the vehicle. Somehow, this resulted in more power than Chris ever witnessed. So much so that he didn't have enough control over it to stir. To show gratitude, the Oney crew looked down at their ally and waved at him in praise for his sudden act of kindness. The light bringer couldn't stay for long, when he knew they were grateful he kicked back into overdrive. Zooming through Burbank to find the next terrible comic to rip apart.
The four men turned back to face the sky. Where the Gummi Ship seemed to be shooting into. To prevent them from just being sent to space, Chris went to the diel near the stirring wheel and typed in the name of the dimension they were heading to. Scrolled across the small screen glowed in all caps: REMNANT. The word began blinking uncontrollably until lights came from the edge of both of the vehicle's wings. Where laser guns were built onto them that rotated at the head. Soon enough, the sparks formed into rays that pointed into the air in front of the Gummi Ship. These blasts shot diagonally forward until hitting an intersection. There, the energy of the shafts joined together. Starting as an unstable blue sphere that eventually expanded and thinned into a gateway.
In due time, the space ship passed through the portal and entered a realm that was the border between existences. A place that was the personification of progressive rock. In this plain, nothing had a true shape. It was not solid, liquid, or gas. It was just substances that morphed into different colors of every shade. Sometimes the crew would pass through some it. Yet it never left any residue. Although it was just the passing through worlds, it was an infinite abyss. The idea of an end was laughable. The only way out was by escaping to a new dimension. It was the Oneyplays crew and the horrifying void. Oh, there was also a McDonalds floating around. (Not sponsored)
Once they spotted it, Chris took an exit and drove into the drive-through. Where popped off the Gummi Ship's window and spoke into the microphone. "Yeah, can I get a forty piece Mcnugget with four large fries, and four sprites?"
"Wait, I thought this was just a bit, were actually getting Mcdonalds?!" Lyle asked.
"Yeah, now give me your damn credit card. You said you would pay." said Chris.
"Can I get a happy meal instead?" Tomar asked as he adjusted in his seat.
About half an hour later, the same blue portal that brought them into the void to begin with, brought them out as well. They were now officially in the World of Remnant. A place of 3D waifus and monsters fight the shit out of each other. Chris had just finished wiping the crumbs of batter off of his chin right as they entered. Zach and Lyle were just about done with their soft drinks. Once they emptied their cups, they placed them into the paper bag that was their trash bag. Meanwhile, Tomar was busy brushing the hair of his My Little Pony doll with the plastic brush that came with his toy.
For fifteen minutes they hovered, circling in the sky. Observing the floor below they realized that they teleported in the middle of a forest. Which made parking a bitch of a task. The struggle was worsened by the fact it was night. The ability to see a clearing was impossible. Thankfully, a small area with no trees was found and it seemed to have enough space for the Gummi Ship. Quickly, Chris landed it and they all got out to explore the forest. The fresh cool air coming from the nature was a welcomed gift to have. Being trapped in a small space with a bunch of disgusting homunculi is hard to handle for more than a couple of minutes. Tomar though wasn't indulging in the beauty of life and stared into the darkness of night confused. Storing his Pinky Pie toy in his beard, he glared at his palm.
Something wasn't right, he didn't feel like his usual self. The best way to describe it was he had more restrictions. What once was his hand that could swipe away lives felt like it could just knock a guy out instead. He addressed it immediately "This world, it has more rules than I expected. My body feels less capable now. I dread I've been drastically handicapped."
Zach laughed at that and said in a sarcastic tone "Oh no, little Tomie can't throw people around anymore."
"Its quite pitiful, poor baby boy. Has to actually work to get what he wants now, hmm." Chris pretended to whimper.
"This is not a joke you imbeciles. For all we know, this might come to bite us in the ass later on. Come, we should find your emerald before that happens." Tomar grunted. "No point in trying to find the shrine you said it was hidden in. The scoundrel that took it must've already taken it somewhere else."
"Speaking of which, can you feel now who took it?" Zach asked seriously.
"Like I stated prior to this, I can't figure it out. These organisms have some different molecular build." Tomar reminded.
"So how are we gonna find the emerald?" Lyle questioned.
Tomar smirked and pointed to them. "Why, with your emeralds of course."
Confused, they asked him what he meant by that. He simply instructed them to just pull out their gems and he'd explain. Once they did, the giant took both of the crystals and raised them into the air. When nothing happened, Tomar rotated in place until they began to glow.