A/N: I originally wrote this in second person, but I changed it to first person for FFN due to the rules regarding interactivity. The original version is on AO3.
My worst mistakes and darkest deeds, the people I hurt, their haunting pleas…
Stealing that memory felt harmless
because I was already in way too deep
that I didn't register it as betrayal,
but forgiveness through force is so cheap.
My deepest regret is that moment,
using magic against her.
What I wouldn't give to go back now
to undo my sin when she didn't concur.
How could I do that to someone I loved?
My worst mistakes and darkest deeds, the people I hurt, their haunting pleas…
Our joyful reunion turned to heartbreak:
splattered blood, glassy eyes, bullet hole.
One senseless act cleaved us in two,
leaving scars right down to my soul.
My heart as cold as her lifeless body,
I sunk into the darkest depths,
terrified by a future without her embrace
or the comfort of her steady breath.
What is life worth without her shining light?
My worst mistakes and darkest deeds, the people I hurt, their haunting pleas…
Rage gave me the weapon and the warpath,
promising a reprieve from the pain
if only I killed those three boys,
so I charged in with the zeal of crusade.
Once blind to the allure of darkness,
I succumbed with the love meant for her,
flaying her murderer without remorse
as though he could relinquish a cure.
Can the stain on my soul ever come clean?
My worst mistakes and darkest deeds, the people I hurt, their haunting pleas…
The memories stalk my dreams every night,
and when I wake, the guilt chars my soul,
its flames licking my heels, its smoke choking,
ready to make me ash as its toll.
It will steal my future if I let it,
and flailing around only makes it all worse.
My only hope is to live with the heat
and let time and tide take its course.
Am I able to push through and endure?
My worst mistakes
and darkest deeds,
the people I hurt,
their haunting pleas…
I've just got to live with the heat.