Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I own nothing! I just like putting the characters into embarrassing situations and messing with their heads. All pairings are ones that I particularly enjoy using in my stories. Also, the wonderful Pradesh family belongs to the amazing Desna.
Chapter 1: The Challenge
It was an accident, a simple slip of the tongue that caused so much trouble. The moment the words left her mouth, Kinana wished that she could take them back. She just knew this was going to be trouble, and to make matters worse, there was no getting out of her predicament without dire consequences.
The day at Fairy Tail was a normal day, the guild was thrumming with life as the patrons brawled in the middle of the guild. The master was sitting on the bar enjoying his midday drink, Lucy and Levi had snagged Freed and were barricaded behind a rune wall poring over some new scrolls the Solid Script Mage had received from her last mission. Erza was enjoying her cake ignoring the rest of her Nakama. Laxus was in his office slaving away at the paperwork that his Gramps had pawned off on him. In every way, the day was completely normal. Until it wasn't.
"Oh, aren't they so cute?" Mira cooed as she rocked back and forth with her hands clutching her cleaning rag to her well-endowed chest. Glancing at her, Kinana saw that look in her eyes, the look that everyone came to associate with Mira planning some kind of matchmaking scheme.
"Which pair this time?" Kinana asked more out of habit than actual curiosity. The purple-haired takeover mage had learned a long time ago that it was better to get the conversation over with rather than let Mira stew. The longer she sat and thought the worse it inevitably was for the other members of the guild.
"Bixlow and Lis. They just look so adorable together, over there plotting," Mira giggled as she watched her little sister and the resident Seith Mage giggling over something together. Rolling her eyes, Kinana went back to scrubbing down the bar.
"More than likely they're planning to prank you again," Kinana sighed. Mira was just...something. What that something was, Kinana had no clue, but she didn't want the crazy to spread her way. Mira had yet to catch on that the more she pushed her sister and the Seith Mage together, the worse the pranks towards her got.
"It's just how they bond," Mira giggled only to squeal loudly as she spotted another pair that she 'Shipped'.
"Now what?" Kinana groaned as she looked up from her work. At first, she didn't see what had caused Mira to go off into la-la land, then she heard it.
"Lucy Kick!" The guild's resident Celestial Spirit Mage screeched as her foot connected with Natsu's face, sending him flying across the guild to crash into the bar. Kinana knew that those two were one of Mira's favorite couples to try and push together. Yes, the pair were partners. No, that didn't mean there were any romantic feelings between the two.
"Oh, think of the pink-haired brown-eyed babies, or the blond-haired black-eyed babies!" Mira giggled as she imagined the fictional children the two of them would one day have. That was when Kinana made her mistake. Honestly, though, she thought that Mira was too absorbed to hear her. She should have known better.
"Never going to happen," Kinana muttered just a bit too loudly as she went back to her cleaning.
"What do you mean?" Mira asked suddenly right next to Kinana causing her to yelp in surprise.
"Nothing!" Kinana yelped as she spun to look at Mira who was eyeing her suspiciously.
"No, you said it like you know something," Mira said as she invaded Kinana's personal space.
"I don't know anything, but I just don't see a romantic relationship between Lucy and Natsu, is all." Kinana huffed as she backed away from the Demon barmaid.
"Why not?" Mira asked, stopping as if she had just been kicked.
"It...I...Well, I just don't think there's any romantic feelings between the two." Kinana floundered.
"How can you say that after watching them act like that?" Mira asked as she pointed at the two who were now running around the guild. Natsu had Lucy's keys and wouldn't let the Celestial Mage have them back no matter how loud she got.
"Easy," Kinana snorted. The anger in Lucy's face was not one who was irritated at a lover, but that of the one she used when Erik pushed her too far. No, those two were more like brother and sister as far as Kinana was concerned.
"I'm not upset with you Kina, I just want to know what you mean?" Mira enquired as she tried to see what Kinana saw.
"Well, for starters, Natsu doesn't respect Lucy's feelings on things that are important to her. She wants someone who will respect her boundaries, a man who can keep up with her intellect but is still able to joke around with her. Honestly, I could see her with Freed before I was to think her and Natsu had a thing." Kinana said digging herself in even further. She had no idea how bad of an idea this conversation was going to be.
"Why?" Mira questioned, still unable to see what Kinana had obviously seen.
"Does it really matter? This is our Nakama's love life we're talking about. I don't think they would appreciate us poking our noses into their business. I know I wouldn't want someone to analyze my love life." Kinana protested as she crossed her arms and glared at Mira with a pout.
"Ooh, I hear a challenge!" Cana's voice said from behind Kinana on the other side of the bar causing the purple-haired woman to nearly tumble over in her hast to turn around.
"Cana! When did you get over here?" Kinana yelped as she saw the resident drunk leaning over the bar.
"Ran out of booze, now back to what you two were discussing." Cana grinned, she could smell a profit in the making and that would go a long way towards paying off her tab to the guild.
"There's really nothing to discuss, I just feel it isn't our place to try and force a relationship where there isn't one." Kinana groaned as she walked to get the drunk another barrel of beer.
"I'm not forcing a relationship, I'm helping them nurture their hidden love for one another." Mira protested as she pouted.
"You know there's a way to settle this, right?" Cana nearly purred as she looked at the two take-over mages.
"Oo, I like that idea," Mira said, bouncing up and down excitedly. Kinana on the other hand didn't know what the two were talking about.
"What idea?" Kinana asked hesitantly, she had a horrible feeling about this.
"A Shipping War!" Mira exclaimed excitedly as she dragged the retreating woman back towards her and Cana.
"What?" Kinana gulped. This was not going to end well.
"What Mira means is that you'll take her ships and prove why they're wrong." Cana laughed at the look on Kinana's face. This was pure gold or Jewel as the case may be.
"Absolutely not! I refuse to be a part of analyzing someone's love life," Kinana protested vehemently. She was not going to start poking around in her friends' lives just to win a stupid contest. She could already see Erik laughing his ass off at her when she informed him about what was going on.
"How about this, if you win I'll quit meddling with their love lives," Mira said with a scary sweet smile. She was beyond confidant that she would win this, she was after all a matchmaker at heart. She only wanted everyone happy.
"And if you win?" Kinana questioned, her voice quavering due to her fear of what Mira would make her do.
"Then you will help me set them up without complaint!" Mira cheered. It was a definnent win for her.
"N…" Kinana started to protest only to be cut off.
"That's perfect! We can make it a competition. Whoever loses has to play in the masters punishment game," Cana crowed, having watched the two's back and forth. It was almost a bit unfair for Kinana, but Cana wasn't above using this to get her some money.
"What? Cana, no, that's not…" Kinana yelped as she tried to shut this down, but it was far too late for her.
"Ah, come on Kinana, it's just a bit of fun," Cana goaded with an almost evil smile on her face.
"Cana, how are we even going to know if the pairs are the right pairs?" Kinana said suddenly filled with hope that they wouldn't be able to come up with a way for them to judge. If they couldn't judge, then there was no point in going through with this silly competition.
"We announce them to the guild and let them vote," Mira said.
"That's not going to work Mira, no what we need is for whoever is being shipped to sign off on if it's canon or not." Cana mused as she pulled out her shipping book. It had every kind of ship from bro-ships, to battle-ships. The most common though was the romance ships.
"And if they don't?" Kinana pointed out, once again trying to find a way for this to be stopped.
"Well then we can have a...huh, I don't know," Cana conceded as she sat back on her barstool stumped.
"Exactly why we shouldn't do it," Kinana exclaimed as she pounced on the fact that there was no true way to judge this fairly.
"Nah, just give me a second…" Cana said as she thought. Taking a large gulp of her beer, she suddenly had an epiphany. "Ah-ha! I have it, we'll have a panel and I know just who to ask to be on it. They'll judge the pairs without telling who is actually cannon and base it on which pair is more likely to actually happen."
"But…" Kinana tried to protest.
"We'll need rules though, and since Mira already has her pairs, that just means we'll need Kinana to come up with her pairs," Cana said, speaking over Kinana's protest.
"Oh, I like that, but they have to be based off the people on my list," Mira said as she leaned against the bar to conspire with Cana.
"Exactly," Cana cheered. "We also don't want any repeats, so even if you do agree with a pair you're going to have to find someone else to pair with them."
"Also no asking your boyfriend to help, that's cheating," Mira said as she pointed at Kinana. That would be easy for her seeing as she wasn't dating Erik, though no matter how much Kinana tried to explain that, Mira just wouldn't listen.
"Fine, but we have to justify all of our pairs and it can't just be because you think they're cute together. You need an actual viable reason for the couple to be together." Kinana conceded. She wasn't going to get out of this so she might as well place some rules of her own to make things somewhat fair for her.
"Agreed," Mira conceded.
"And...and not all of the pairings have to be romantic ships. There are more than romance ships out there." Kinana added as she tried to think of anything else she could add to even the playing field.
"I can agree to that as well, but it can't be anything overly acknowledged. Like Levi and Lucy can't be a bro-ship." Mira countered.
"Agreed." Kinana sighed. Today was just not her day.
"Ok, so the rules are as follows. No asking boyfriends for help. Kinana must use at least one person from Mira's pairings to ensure that things aren't unfair. No repeats from Mira's list, or having one person paired with more than one other person. All pairs must be justified by both competitors. The two of you will present your ships to the panel at the end of the week and whoever gets the most ships agreed upon wins. The loser will abide by the terms set and participate in the Masters' Punishment Games. Agreed?" Cana questioned as she looked at the two women.
"Agreed!" Both take-over mages said, one much happier than the other.
"Good luck ladies, may the best shipper win!" Cana cheered as she picked up her barrel and disappeared into the guild leaving the two barmaids to their tasks. As she watched Cana walk away, Kinana couldn't help but feel as if she had just been set up.
"Oh no, what did I just get myself into?" Kinana wailed as she realized she had a week before everyone in the guild was going to be judging her on her pairs. She wasn't Mira, she was shy and soft-spoken. She was going to have to get up in front of the entire guild and argue why she thought her pairing was better. It was going to be a long week.