London, England

December 20 1991

Her vision blurry as her gaze fixed on one of the stained-glass windows within the bustling restaurant, Sue Ellen absentmindedly ran her finger around the rim of her martini glass, a glass lacking in anything that would further cloud her mind.

"A penny for your thoughts."

Smiling weakly as Don spoke, she thought about how patient he always was with her, always ready to listen, always understanding when she seemed miles away. Even now, out to dinner at one of their favourite places, The Ivy, before they attended show a friend of Don's was producing, her head was elsewhere and he knew it, but instead of asking her to pay attention to him, he was interested to hear what she was battling.

"I should be happy, JR got everything that he had coming to him."

JR had burned his own bridges, he'd spent decades doing things that benefited him at any cost, with no regard to who he hurt, including her, yet seeing the toll his behaviour had taken on him personally didn't make her feel good.

"You're a better person than he is, you have empathy."

"I like to think I do, but I hated him. I wanted him to suffer the consequences of his actions."

"And now that he has you feel guilty because you derived pleasure from his pain."

She'd been delighted to have won when she'd left Dallas. She'd escaped his grasp on her and flipped their relationship a bit, able to use the film she'd made about their lives as a bargaining tool. He'd not liked her methods but had gone along with it. Little had she known that she wasn't the only one sick of his manipulations and ready to push back.

"You'd think by now I'd realise that playing his games never ends well for me."

JR had lost a lot and his losses had her feeling for him again. His vulnerable, dejected state wasn't how she remembered him and to have known him so intimately when he was on top of the world only made the contrast sadder.

"I'd say it ended pretty well."

Nodding his head at her engagement ring and wedding band, Don didn't need to specify what he was talking about, she knew he was referring to their marriage.

"I'm sorry, that sounded insensitive. I meant I end up feeling conflicted rather than victorious. My feelings for you are unchanged, I love you."

"Now my love that was exactly what I was hoping to hear."

Smiling, she thought to herself again that his tendency to listen rather than speak had its upsides, but it had its downsides too. Recovered from her younger state of perpetual quietness, now when she held a strong opinion she liked to state it rather than simply think it, the problem was, when it came to matters of her ex-husband and her current husband, she didn't think until afterwards about how much was too much.

Studying her, he seemed to be able to read her thoughts, because his next comment revealed more of his feelings but offered a solution too.

"Since I can tell you're not done, I want you to collect all those thoughts you're having and say them now. The catch is you have until the next course arrives to talk through your feelings and then no more JR Ewing."

It might have sounded harsh had it not come from him, but she understood his point. They were supposed to be on a date and while their relationship had started with an analysis of her relationship with JR, it didn't need to continue that way.

"I can do that."

Ordinarily, JR didn't factor into their lives. They'd spent a lovely year and a half alone together in London before they'd married, getting to know each other properly and forming a solid relationship based on more than their working partnership. John Ross had arrived for more than just a visit five months after their wedding, bringing a new aspect to their relationship, and now JR was in town, taking up far more space in her head than was comfortable.

"I want him to have changed, for John Ross and for himself, but I'd be lying if I said the idea of him being a changed man permanently doesn't scare me."

"Because you're susceptible to fall back into his arms if that's the case?"

Summing up her thoughts, Don didn't sugar-coat anything.

"It sounds awful when you say it like that."

She didn't want JR, she was happily married to Don, but she'd been happy with other men before and JR had managed to reel her back in.

"I can't understand what draws you to him after all he's done. What I do understand is why you're afraid."

He'd read her diaries and they'd spoken candidly about her past, so he did genuinely appreciate how her mind worked. Considering that, it was interesting that even after studying her some things still remained a mystery. Obviously, she and JR shared something deep, something that nobody but the two of them could grasp, the problem was when she was away from it she could see that what they shared was harmful, when she was in the vicinity, she feared getting close, but when the gap closed and they were put together, attraction and passion overshadowed hesitancy.

"How do you feel about that?"

Shaking his head, Don gave her a look as if to ask whether she was serious.

"How does any man feel about his wife's torch carrying ex-husband?"

He wasn't always direct with his answers, but she knew him well enough to understand what he meant. He was a good man, but there were limits to his tolerance.

"If it helps, I have absolutely no plans to return to JR."

"I'd hope not."

Hearing his tone, this time she couldn't figure out whether he was annoyed that she'd even had the thought or whether they'd just encountered another one of their cultural differences. She understood sarcasm, but not in the way they used it over here; there were phrases and inflections that sounded polite to an untrained ear, but over time she'd come to realise were quite the opposite. Back home they had the same thing but she'd never needed to think about it in the past as much as she did now that she was living abroad.

"I hope John Ross is having a good time."

Moving the conversation away from her own relationship with JR, she voiced her other concern. John Ross hadn't seemed upset when he'd left with JR earlier in the day, in fact, with every day that passed he seemed more comfortable having his father around again, she was just wary of the potential for disappointment and regression.

"If there's anything I know it's that he is. The boy was upset when he arrived here, but he's his father's son, he wants to be in the inner circle, he's looking for JR's approval, his attention, and he's getting it."

Giving his opinion, Don's perspective was reassuring. He didn't care for JR but even he could see that having him around was good for John Ross.

"I worry a lot, don't I?"

"I hadn't noticed."

Smirking, this time the delivery of his response was clear.

"Good evening", appearing beside them, their waiter set her food in front of her, "I have the beetroot and black fig salad for the lady", and then did the same for Don, "and the cheddar cheese soufflé for the gentleman."

Thanking him, their conversation lulled for a few seconds before Don brought it back, changing the subject again, probably in order to make sure she kept her to her word about the topic of conversation.

"So, the last time I spoke to Edward I was led to believe the leading lady wasn't all she'd appeared to be in the auditions, whatever that means."

Chuckling, she had to ask. "Good or bad?"

Don's friends were creatives, theatre people, film people, artists; they saw the world in a different way to how she did, and it always proved to be an interesting night out when they attended one of their events.

"I didn't like to ask."

"We'll see then."

Interested now, she had little problem shelving her concerns about JR and John Ross; they were spending time together and she was spending time with Don; she doubted anyone was spending as much time overthinking anything as she was.