A/N: Thanks for you reviews.

Chapter 3

After seeing Katie off, Jim made his way back into the house, closing and locking the door behind him. He could hear the water running in the kitchen and the clink of dishes. He sighed deeply, every time things seemed to be on an upswing, something came along to send it crashing back down. It seemed like they just weren't meant to have family Christmases anymore. Those days were in the past…along with the people who made Christmas a special time; one for family and togetherness, not skiing and impersonal lodges instead of the warmth of home. He couldn't help but remember Johanna making the statement a couple years before that Christmas had never been the same without certain loved ones; she was right, it wasn't and never would be; their parents and grandparents were gone…the siblings that spoke to them had their own families and their own plans. It made Christmas somewhat empty for a couple whose only child always chose to stay away.

A small ache spread across his heart; he had mistakenly thought that things would be different this year now that McKenzie was in the world. Katie had made so much effort to heal the rift with her mother when they had returned from London and she had continued on that path after revealing her pregnancy. She had been around more…she seemed to want them around more…but tonight it had felt like she had taken a step back in time and had picked up her former attitude of 'I have a family and don't need you around'. It hurt but he always did his best not to let it show…but it was there just the same. He had been looking forward to being a grandfather this Christmas…wanted to spoil his granddaughter…wanted to hold a candy cane and let her taste the peppermint flavor…wanted to watch the wonder and excitement on her face as she experienced her first holiday. He had been ready to shake off the dust of the past and look at the holiday through his granddaughter's eyes…ready for a new chapter but it wasn't meant to be.

He moved to the threshold of the living room, trying to give Johanna a little more time to herself before he went in and nudged her into letting her feelings out. He knew she would deny it, but she had been looking forward to her first Christmas as a grandmother. She had been going about it quietly…subtly…as if she was afraid that someone would catch on and dash her hopes if she seemed to be enthusiastic.

And now her hopes were dashed…smashed into the kitchen floor like those blobs of baby food McKenzie occasionally smacked off the spoon.

A weighted breath slipped across Jim's lips as his gaze fell on that now naked spot of the bookcase where McKenzie's stocking had dangled from the shelf. He had no doubt that the Christmas tree on the stand would disappear by the next day…and Johanna would pretend to be glad to put it away; but they'd both know better. She thought he didn't notice the Christmas storybooks that had popped up on the coffee table…he hadn't mentioned her holiday themed lullabies when he was home to hear them at their granddaughter's nap time. He had acted like he hadn't overheard her telling McKenzie that they'd make a batch of Christmas cookies on her next day back. He hadn't wanted to bring up those little hints that she was looking forward to the holiday; he had been afraid a mention might jar her and send her back into that corner where she swore off the holiday as much as he'd allow. He figured it would be best to just let it happen naturally and congratulate her on it after the fact.

Well, that was all shot to hell now.

Jim rubbed the back of his neck and headed for the kitchen, hoping he could soothe his wife's feelings. As he entered the room, he saw her wince as the point of a knife nicked the tip of her finger. "I wish you wouldn't wash dishes when you're distracted, sweetheart," he said gently as he made his way to her side and took her hand, examining the small nick in her skin, finding it to be superficial as expected.

"They have to be washed," Johanna replied. "It just poked me a little, I'm fine. Did you see Katie off?"

"Yeah; she's been gone…I just figured I'd give you a few minutes alone."

She said nothing, merely turned back to her dishes in the sink.

"I'm disappointed too," Jim murmured as his arms slipped around her waist.

"I'm fine...I'll just miss the baby that's all, I haven't gone that long without seeing her before but as Katie reminded me, she's not my baby. It'll take a few days to feel normal without her here, especially with being off work for the next few weeks but I'll adjust. I can get things done; this house could probably stand a deep cleaning and I can go ahead and get my lesson plans put together for the spring semester…help you if you have anything you can throw on my desk."

"Jo," he said quietly. "I know you're disappointed about Christmas."

Johanna shook her head. "No, you know I don't care much about the holiday. I'm just used to babysitting now and I'll miss her while Katie's off work but it'll be fine…it's probably good for me and her; there is the occasional comment that hints that I may be too attached to her…so some time apart is probably a good thing. Besides, we like to travel and we have our own lives, we can't just stop doing the things we like just because we might be needed to babysit…there are going to be times when we don't see her. It'll be hard this time but it'll be a good thing in the long run."

His arms tightened around her. "Babe, this has nothing to do with babysitting or being too attached. It's about Christmas…and how you were looking forward to having a baby in the house for the holiday."

"No, I'm fine," she stated. "It's better this way, I won't have to pretend to be enjoying it. I can get that tree put away now; I only put it out for McKenzie's sake."

"I don't believe that," he murmured. "That tree has been lit up on days when she's not here so I think maybe you enjoyed it a little yourself…so leave it where it is. It's alright to be upset…I'm disappointed too."

"I'm telling you I'm fine," Johanna remarked but he heard the quiver in her voice. "It's just another day…I didn't really expect to see them for the holiday despite what I said earlier so no harm done. Let Katie go to Vermont and strap some sticks to her boots and go flying down the mountain like she wants while her daughter is with a babysitter in some lodge where nothing is familiar to her. It seems like they're only taking Martha along to babysit so it's a good thing we weren't invited or we'd be sitting in a boring ski lodge trying to keep McKenzie entertained."

"I did notice that we weren't invited," Jim remarked.

"That's no surprise…and I don't care that we weren't. I prefer our own vacations."

"I mentioned to Katie that we could always show up in Vermont; that it had been a long time since I skied…and she said I was too old to ski."

Johanna turned in his arms, outrage on her face. "You are not old! How dare she say that to you!?"

"She also said you should give up ice skating."

"She's calling me old too!" she said in outrage. "That little brat; it's a good thing I won't be seeing her for the next two weeks or I'd show her how young I still am by kicking her ass."

"She was probably hoping to offend us so we couldn't care that she won't be around," Jim remarked as he kept his wife in the circle of his embrace. "But we do care…and you can play your tough girl card all you want but I know you're hurting."

"I'm fine; I know I cried a little when she told us we wouldn't have the baby the next two weeks and I didn't mean to and I shouldn't have…I don't know why I did that."

"Jo…you started crying when you were telling Katie that you'd stick to that damn deal she talked you into about holidays a few years ago. It's not about babysitting…you cried because she dashed your hopes of seeing our granddaughter on Christmas. You were looking forward to Christmas with McKenzie."

She started to shake her head but his fingers softly dug into her waist. "This is me you're talking to, Jo; you can't hide it from me. You got out that little tree for McKenzie because you wanted to give her Christmas here; you hung up a stocking for her…you've been reading her Christmas storybooks and watching Christmas cartoons with her…you've been shopping for her since the end of October. I know it hurts you to think of her not even being in the same state with us on the holiday…you think if you pretend it doesn't bother you that it will somehow make it true, but it won't…we both know that, don't we?"

Tears filled her eyes and she looked away, doing her best to blink them back…but he broke her by pulling her against his chest, his voice murmuring to her. "It's alright, sweetheart."

A soft sob broke free as he ran his hand over the back of her head, his eyes closing, his heart aching for both of them. "It hurts me too," he said quietly. "It's her first Christmas and I wanted to be a part of it …and I know you did too, even though it's still a little hard for you. I've seen all the little things you've been doing…you wanted it this year."

Her arms tightened around him. "I was going to make her cookies," she whispered. "Those soft ones Mom always made for the babies at Christmas time…she's got two little teeth, she would've been able to nibble on them as long as we broke them into small pieces for her."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he murmured. "McKenzie would've liked those…and I'm sure she would've liked watching you make them from her highchair."

"I guess we'll never know…because we both know that it's always going to be this way," she replied. "We're never going to be a part of it…despite everything; despite biting our tongues at times to keep from saying the wrong thing, despite me having to go through months of 'be a better mother-in-law' lunches, despite being the babysitter…despite everything we've done to be better…it's not going to change a damn thing when it comes to things like this. In this area, we're always going to be on the outside."

Jim held her tighter. "I wish I could say you're wrong…but I can't promise things will change one day. I wish I could."

"It's okay…at least we have each other now…instead of how it was when I couldn't be here."

He nodded. "That's right, as long we're together, we'll be fine."

She breathed deeply. "I guess there's no reason for us to hang around here for the holiday."

"We can stay home; there's no law that says we have to leave town every Christmas."

Johanna shook her head. "I'd rather go to the cabin…that's our thing; we may as well stick with it."

"Are you sure? Because if you don't want to, we can stay home, I won't get mad…we had kind of already planned on it because of the baby."

"No…I want to go, if we can…or is work an issue?"

"No," he answered. "I have some things I'd need to take with me to go over and work on but nothing that absolutely requires my presence at the office. I made sure I didn't have anything that required time at the office until January…I wanted to be able to spend time with you and McKenzie."

"I guess that will teach us to plan our lives around something that hasn't been guaranteed to us."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. If we're going to the cabin though, the same stipulations as usual apply."

"I figured as much," she murmured as she continued to snuggle against his chest. "I'm fine with the usual stipulations though as long as we can go."

"We can go…when do you want to leave?"

"As soon as possible," she remarked. "We can't head out tomorrow though because we need to pack and go get groceries for us and food for Scarlett to take up there with us."

"Let's aim for Monday," Jim replied. "That way we have the weekend to get things in order."

"Alright; I can get the house cleaned before we go…and then when we get up there, I'm sure I'll need to do some cleaning before you pull out the tree; we haven't been up there in a few months."

"We'll get everything taken care of," he promised. "It's going to be alright."

"I know," she said softly. "I was just hoping it would be a little more alright than usual…but I was wrong again."

"I know the feeling," he replied quietly his hand moving over the back of her head. "I just don't have a cure for it unfortunately."

Johanna closed her eyes and held on to him tightly; she didn't have a cure either…all she had were tactics designed to keep it all away. She would clean and make lists, organize plans…keep busy…pretend it didn't hurt when they all knew it did.

As usual, McKenzie had dozed off in the car on the way home but the sound of the elevator doors in the garage opening startled her, causing her to whimper in her carrier.

"It's alright, Kenzie," Kate murmured as she stepped onto the elevator. "It's just the elevator…I know the doors squeak a little and it scares you but it's okay. We're almost home…are you ready to see Daddy?"

Her daughter fussed; annoyance on her small features at being woke from her nap. "Hey, it's okay," she told her soothingly as she looked in at the baby, seeing her slipping her thumb into her mouth. "I hope we didn't leave your binky at Grandma's again…because I'm afraid if we did, you're going to have to make do with your thumb since you have to be particular about what kind you like. I don't know if Daddy will want to go on a binky run and there's no way Mommy's going back to Grandma's tonight…I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be welcomed back tonight, baby girl."

McKenzie's face scrunched up, a cry spilling from her lips. "Okay, I'll go back if it's not in the bag," Kate said, her hand digging in the pockets of the diaper bag, hoping to find the pacifier as the elevator doors slid open. "Please tell me it's inside the bag," she muttered as she came up empty while stepping off the elevator.

Her baby continued to cry as she put her key in the lock of the door and sung it open, stepping inside the warm loft and closing the door behind her.

"What's wrong with my jellybean?" Castle asked as he stepped out of the kitchen.

"She fell asleep in the car and the damn squeaky elevator door downstairs woke her up," Kate said as she sat the carrier down and began the task of undoing the buckles so she could lift her daughter out. "Now she's unhappy…and I forgot to make sure her binky is in the bag so I'm going to have to search it here in a minute."

"Did you tell your mother about our plans?"

She gave a short laugh. "Yeah, I told her…that wasn't pretty."

"How not pretty?" he asked.

"Let's just say unhappiness seems to be hereditary at the moment," Kate remarked as she stood with McKenzie in her arms, her hand rubbing her back soothingly. "It's okay, Kenzie girl. It's okay."

"She's probably hungry," Castle remarked as he grabbed the diaper bag to search for their daughter's preferred pacifier.

"She just had her bottle at Mom's; she couldn't wait. She hasn't had her baby food yet though…so I guess it's possible that she's still a little hungry."

"Here's the binky!" Castle exclaimed as he pulled it from his bag, examining it to make sure it was clean before reaching over and sticking it in his daughter's mouth. McKenzie quieted and snuggled against her mother.

"Thank God it was in there," Kate remarked. "I did not want to go back there…in fact, look up that specific pacifier online again and order about ten of them."

"We did that…three months ago…after we lost the first five…and we're still down to only this one…I swear it's like some pacifier eating troll comes in at night and takes those damn things," her husband replied.

She nodded as she made her way to a chair at the table so she could set down with her baby. "It does seem that way; although I'm pretty sure I lost one at the doctor's office…and we don't rule out that Scarlett took off with one at my mother's although it hasn't been located…and I'm pretty sure we left one in the Hamptons…but still, that leaves some unaccounted for…so order twenty this time and maybe we'll come out ahead."

"I'll get on that right after dinner which should be here any minute," he replied. "I'll pay for express shipping so they get here this weekend so we can take a few with us to Vermont."

"Good idea."

The arrival of their food halted their conversation as they made themselves busy with settling McKenzie in her highchair and warming up her baby food as Kate took a moment to shed her coat and boots.

"So your mother took the two weeks off badly?" Castle asked, watching as Kate tested the temperature of McKenzie's food against her own lip before she fed it to their daughter.

"Yeah, she wasn't exactly happy to hear the news…there may have been tears and the comment that McKenzie loves her more than I do."

"Wow, she pulled out the A-level guilt."

"She always does," Kate replied with a nod. "They also weren't happy that I waited until today to tell them about my time off."

"I told you that was going to come back to bite you," her husband replied.

"I told you so is my mother's line, Castle; please, don't infringe on the copyright."

He smiled. "Sorry. How did they take the news about our vacation? That had to have gone better, right?"

"No; it didn't really go well either…they got upset and I got defensive. They planned to stay in the city this year because they thought I'd need them to babysit. They invited us to Christmas dinner…that's when I had to tell them that we're going away. They're so not crazy about Vermont."

"They don't have to be, they're not going," Castle replied as he reached for his drink. "And we don't need permission to go."

Kate suppressed a sigh as she swallowed a bite of her dinner. "They said if we want snow, we could all go to the cabin with them…they have plenty of room and there will be snow there."

Castle shook his head. "We can't ski there…and we want a tree and decorations for McKenzie."

"Mom claims that she decorates at the cabin."

"What, another puny tree on a stand?" he asked. "Besides, I don't think we'd be very comfortable staying with them…"

"I'm not uncomfortable staying with my parents. When you went on that week long book tour when McKenzie was a month old; I stayed with them because I wasn't ready to be on my own with her for that long…I was still afraid of every little thing."

"I know," Castle said gently. "And there was nothing wrong with that, Kate; I told you that on the phone when we talked that first night apart and you were upset…I told you to go stay with them…but it's different for you; they're you're parents so of course you're always comfortable being under their roof. Mother wouldn't be comfortable there, despite the fact that she and Johanna are getting along a little better these days…but she wouldn't like it and I don't see her doing it. I don't see Alexis being comfortable there either."

"I know," Kate admitted as she gave McKenzie another bite of her dinner. "I mentioned that too…I just feel bad; they were looking at me like I was robbing them."

"They'll be fine; don't feel bad. We're allowed to leave town once in awhile."

"I know…but…I guess they did intend on being here…they wanted to see McKenzie for Christmas."

"We can Skype them on Christmas day."

She shook her head. "Not if they decide to go to the cabin, and I'm sure they will. The cell signal isn't always great…I don't think Skype will work. They have a landline up there because they don't like to chance relying on the cell service alone."

"Understandable," Castle replied. "But they'll be fine. It's not our fault that we thought they were disinterested."

Maybe it was a little bit their fault, Kate thought to herself. It wasn't like they had asked her parents what their plans or intentions were for the holidays. "Maybe we should invite them to go with us," she remarked, spooning another bite of food into McKenzie's mouth before picking up her fork again.

"Kate; I can't add another room to our request…our reservations aren't set in stone yet. I can't ask Sheila for additional rooms. Besides, you didn't mention wanting them to go when we discussed it…you said it would give you a better excuse for not being around."

"I know, and it does…but I feel bad. You didn't see their faces, Castle."

"Kate; we're not going to live our lives around your parents need to constantly see McKenzie every other day…we want to have a special first Christmas for McKenzie and a vacation for us while you have time off. We shouldn't have to take them along just because they know how to guilt trip."

"We're taking your mother," she replied.

"That's different; Mother lives with us…and she knows how to celebrate Christmas in the manner intended."

"So since Martha lives with us, does that mean we're taking her on every vacation with us?"

"No; not the ones that are just you and me."

"Have you even told Martha and Alexis about wanting to do this trip?" she asked. "Because you just sprung it on me today."

"No; I thought I'd make sure everything was settled first. I'm sure there won't be any problem…Alexis will most likely have friends up there on their own ski trips and where else would Mother go if she didn't come with us?"

Kate sighed a little. "I wish you had thought this up sooner so we could've had more discussion about it."

"What is there to discuss?" Castle asked. "Life is meant to be as spontaneous as possible. The idea came, we liked it, you said get the ball rolling…now you seem like you're changing your mind because your mom cried."

Kate shot him a look. "Well next time we have news to give that she won't like, you tell her and look at her face."

"I've seen her cry, didn't bother me a bit," he replied. "It only bothers me when you, Alexis or McKenzie cry."

"Well it bothers me!" she exclaimed. "You didn't see her…she even sent home McKenzie's little stocking she had for her at their house, telling me to take it on vacation with us so if it gets lost it won't be the one we bought."

"That's not a bad idea," he said with a nod.

"Really? That's what you take away from it?" she asked. "She took it down and said she had no use for it if the baby wasn't going to be around. I wished her a Merry Christmas and she said 'what the hell is so merry about it now'?"

"Kate; we're not living our lives around your mother's need to be a grandmother every second of her life. This is why it's good for us to take McKenzie and go away once in awhile; so they separate a little. I want this trip for us…for our family…and I don't want you to feel guilty about having it. We can have our family time and your parents can remember who they were before they became grandparents. It's going to be good for all of us."

"I just wish we had thought this all out sooner," she remarked. "I didn't say that I don't want to go…and there would've been a time when upsetting my parents wouldn't have mattered to me as much as it did today…but things are different now. I want us to have a wonderful Christmas…you have warmed me up on the idea of the trip…but next year, we're not doing this last minute thing…and we're going to make sure no one gets shunned…I don't care what their personal attitude is about the season, next year…we do better."

"Okay," Castle agreed. "Next year we plan earlier and do better."

She smiled a little as McKenzie babbled in the highchair. A part of her still felt guilty…and she wasn't sure she'd be able to shake the feeling before they went to Vermont.

After the kitchen had been cleaned up, Jim watched Johanna go through her usual end of the week cleanup in the living room, which meant putting McKenzie's things away until her next return…which wouldn't be as soon as they had expected thanks to Katie's news that evening. He breathed deeply, watching as Johanna put the baby's toys into the pink storage bin that she stowed behind the doors of the TV stand to keep Scarlett out of them. He could just shake Katie for not telling them sooner about her time off…he didn't begrudge her taking the time, she should whenever she could…but if they had known sooner, they could've planned to have a Christmas celebration with McKenzie today…it might have dulled the ache of not seeing her on the actual holiday…it might have kept that feeling of yet another empty season from rising within them. Why did she always have to do things that way?

It seemed to be one of those questions of life that he'd never have the answer to…and he figured it would never change. Sometimes it felt like nothing ever would change…and on the other hand, it felt like everything had changed and he and Johanna were always left behind as everything and everyone raced on past them. It was supposed to be different this year…at least he had imagined it would be. As the holiday had approached, he had thought about his parents…how his mother fussed about having all of her kids and grandchildren under her roof for at least part of the day; how his father had spent the day playing with his grandchildren and telling the yearly epic saga of some gift he had to put together. He thought of Johanna's parents; Naomi with her open invitation to all family on Christmas…the softness Frank gave to his grandchildren that he didn't usually give to anyone else. Their parents had taken pride in having their children and grandchildren come through the door on the holidays…they had joy and good memories…and he had wanted that for himself and Johanna now that they had reached this stage of life.

He wanted to spoil his granddaughter…wanted to watch his wife fussing with dinner and gifts and making everything perfect for the family members coming through the door. He wanted the kind of holidays for them that their parents had had…but it didn't seem meant to be.

Jim frowned at the thought as Johanna pulled the mat out of the playpen and then released the sides so that she could grasp the small ring at the bottom and pull the playpen up into a folded position. "That's a lot easier than the playpen we had for Katie," he commented.

Johanna nodded as she wrapped the mat around the playpen and fastened the Velcro straps that would hold the bundle together. "It is…and a lot smaller to store," she said as she picked up the awkward bundle.

"I'll take it for you," Jim said, rising from the chair and taking it from her hands.

"Alright, you take that and I'll drag the walker," she replied.

"Where do you want it, office or closet?"

"Let's just put it in the office as usual; we have more room there and it's easier to get it in and out."

"That's true," he agreed as he carried the playpen out of the room, Johanna following behind him with the baby's walker. They stored the items off to the side of the room in their office where it would be out of the way and then they retreated back down the hallway to the living room.

"We can take the baby gate down," Johanna said, pausing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Scarlett will be so happy," Jim remarked as he released the gate.

"I don't know, I kind of think she likes jumping over it," she replied as he put the gate in the hallway.

"It didn't take her long to figure that trick out. I kind of worry that one day she'll have a little too much momentum running down the stairs to make her leap and she'll end up bouncing off the wall because she overshot the landing."

A smile crept across her lips. "That wouldn't be pretty."

"The vet bill wouldn't be pretty either."

"We'll hope it doesn't come to that," Johanna said as she moved into the living room, gathering up the blankets she used when McKenzie was on the floor and the soft cloth she used to wipe the baby's face and hands when needed.

"Why don't you sit down and relax for a little while," Jim said as he picked up the newspaper from the stand.

She shook her head. "I'll clean some more…I need to throw this stuff in the clothes basket and get it all washed while she's not here. I could probably go ahead and throw a load of laundry in the washer; it could be washing while I'm cleaning in here. That will be a little less on the to-do list for this weekend."

"We'll get it all done, Jo," he replied, knowing her tactics well, ramble to keep the real topic at bay…keep busy so the feelings stayed pushed down.

"No better time like the present," she stated as she headed out of the room to get the clothes basket so she could gather up the laundry.

He let her go without another word, knowing it was better to let her be busy for now. He gave his attention to the newspaper, all the while listening to the sounds of her moving through the house. She hadn't returned by the time he finished with the paper but Scarlett hopped up on his lap, demanding attention. "What's wrong; is your mommy neglecting you?" he asked her as he petted her. "I'm sure she'll be in here before long. We're going to go to the cabin in a few days; I expect you to behave yourself as well as you did last time for the car ride."

Scarlett purred beneath his hand and he smiled; he'd never regret bringing that little grey and white tabby home from the shelter to Johanna. She was his wife's baby…and he had to admit, she was fun to have around and she had accepted McKenzie without issue; guarded her during nap times and entertained her; and so far had tireless patience when it came to the baby and her excited little hands every time Scarlett was near her. The cat rubbed her head against his leg and settled in as he gave his attention to the TV.

By the time Johanna finally made her way back to the living room, Jim was watching a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond on TV, Scarlett half asleep on his lap. He noted that his wife had came armed with the can of furniture polish and a dust rag but he said nothing as she began her work. He watched subtly as she polished stands and shelves until they gleamed and wiped off pictures and knickknacks. She was on a mission, he couldn't help but think…so far it was a silent mission but a mission none the less as she attacked the coffee table, cleaning it and straightening the magazines.

When she made her way to the stand by the sofa and reached for the cord to unplug the small tree, Jim reached out and caught hold of her wrist. "Let it be, Jo," he said gently.

"Why?"

"Because it's not hurting anything. I know you put it out for McKenzie to look at but you like it and you should enjoy it…you've always loved these ornaments of your grandmother's and you like the lights. Just leave it where it is."

"We're going away," Johanna replied. "There's no reason why I can't put it back in the attic."

"We'll put it away when we get back. We'll enjoy it while we're home."

"It's kind of hard to enjoy at the moment," she stated.

"I know…but we'll do it anyway."

"Did you catch Katie's digs about it? Like it isn't good enough because it's small."

He nodded. "Yeah, I heard her…I know it hurt your feelings."

"It might be small but it was better than nothing…I could've done nothing."

"I know; but you did do something because you love McKenzie. That's all that matters, not the size."

"They act like you have to have Rockefeller Center in your living room and Rockettes out on the law," she remarked, a touch of bitterness in her tone.

Jim grinned. "I know a few neighbors who probably wouldn't mind seeing some Rockettes on the lawn."

She smirked at him in amusement. "You probably wouldn't mind seeing some Rockettes on the lawn."

He shook his head. "What do I need a Rockette for when I have you and your very sexy legs in the house?"

Johanna laughed as she leaned over to kiss him. "Those girls are a lot younger than me though…their legs might look better."

"Not in my eyes," he replied, his hand patting her leg. "I like these…and everything else you have," he told her, giving her a exaggerated leer.

She patted his cheek as she stole another kiss. "I like everything you have too."

"How could you not?" he teased.

"There's that Beckett conceit," she remarked with a grin as she gave him a playful swat.

"Why don't you go put your cleaning stuff away and sit down here with me for awhile?" Jim replied. "Your cat and I might start to feel neglected."

"Alright," she said, relenting on continuing her cleaning spree. "I guess I can finish up tomorrow."

He nodded. "You need a break; you had the baby all day, you made dinner, you've cleaned the kitchen and in here, there's laundry downstairs washing…call it a day, sweetheart."

Johanna gave a nod, heading to the kitchen to put her cleaning items away. A part of her would rather stay busy…she didn't want to be idle; it would only lead to her dwelling on the disappointment that had swept across her heart like a winter storm. Of all the times her daughter could've chosen to leave town, she had to pick Christmas…her baby's first Christmas, where she'd be away from everything that was familiar, where there was a chance of having gifts lost or forgotten. Who took their child away on their first Christmas for a damn ski trip? It was crazy…just downright crazy…not that she could say so to anyone but her husband, but still…there had to be some other reason besides skiing. She could feel it in her bones; there was something about this sudden trip that didn't set right.