AN: Hello everyone! I have been working on this story since July and I've been wanting to finish it for a long time so I could share it with you all. I hope you enjoy it! I also hope you had a great Christmas, if you celebrate Christmas, and if you don't, happy holidays!

Title: with all of his heart

Summary: Severus and Harry must go into hiding together so that Severus can protect Harry from Voldemort, and they grow close.

Rating: M

Genre(s): Romance, Tragedy, Angst

Pairing(s): Harry Potter x Severus Snape

Warnings: teacher/student relationship, trigger warnings for rape

Harry waited in Dumbledore's office one afternoon, after getting a request from the Headmaster to speak with him. He heard footsteps behind him and turned, seeing Snape striding into the room as well. "Professor Snape?" Harry asked. "What's going on?"

"I have no idea," Snape said. "What are you doing here, Potter? I was asked to a meeting with the Headmaster."

"So was I," Harry said.

"At 3:30?"

"Yes."

How strange. Snape sat down in the other armchair beside Harry's as Dumbledore came down the spiral staircase. "Ah. Harry, Severus. I'm so glad you both were able to make it. As it seems, it is necessary for the both of you to go into hiding together."

"What?" Harry and Snape said at once, and then began to talk over each other.

"Albus, you can't possibly make me go into hiding with him-" Snape said.

"He's horrible to me! I wouldn't last a week-" Harry protested.

"Silence!" Dumbledore exclaimed, and they both stopped at once. "Severus, you are the last person Voldemort would assume Harry is with. Because of this, and because you are a very powerful wizard, he is safe with you."

"No," Harry said. "I've got friends and a life here. I won't do it."

"You don't have a choice, I'm afraid," Dumbledore said. "Has your scar been hurting more recently, Harry?"

Now that Harry thought about it, it had been hurting recently. "That's because Voldemort is close by the school," Snape realized. "Potter isn't safe here. Oh, dear."

"Thanks for the concern," Harry snapped. Snape sneered back.

"But what does this have to do with me, specifically?" asked Snape. "Why can't he go into hiding with someone else?"

"You are a skilled Legilimens, and I need you to teach him how to protect his mind from Voldemort," Dumbledore said. "I have prepared a cabin for you up north, in the mountains. You will be staying there for the foreseeable future."

"Wonderful," said Harry sarcastically. He was going to be stuck in isolation with the man he hated the most - aside from Voldemort. "What am I supposed to do while I'm up there?"

"Severus will help teach you and give you assignments for all your classes," Dumbledore said. "I expect you to have mastered Potions by the time you return." His eyes twinkled, and Harry had a bad feeling he was up to something. "Go pack your belongings, and meet me back here so I can see you to the cabin. You both may Apparate."

Harry's stomach turned in anticipation. He hated Apparating. He got up to leave Dumbledore's office anyway, going to pack his belongings. He had to make a stop along the way first.

"You're leaving?" Hermione asked when he reached the Gryffindor dormitory. "But why?"

"Going into hiding, away from Voldemort," Harry explained. "I'm going with Snape."

"What's the greasy git got to do with this?" Ron asked.

"He's supposed to teach me Occlumency to help me protect my mind from Voldemort."

"Well, Harry, I know you don't like him, but Snape is a powerful wizard," Hermione pointed out. "Perhaps there is a lot you can learn from him, if you two would stop arguing already. It's really gotten quite old."

Harry went upstairs to pack, returning to Dumbledore's office to find Snape already there. "You're late," Snape said.

"I went to go tell Ron and Hermione I was leaving," Harry said. "Then, when I got back to the common room, everyone else wanted to say goodbye-"

"Yes, everyone knows, the savior of the Wizarding World is so popular," Snape drawled sarcastically. Harry sighed. This was going to be a long stay.

It was snowing when Harry and Snape arrived at the cabin. Harry felt quite ill after Apparating. "Get off me, Potter," Snape said, and Harry realized he was still holding the other man's hand. Grossed out, Harry let go of him at once.

They were standing in front of a door. It was a log cabin with a big porch, and a river surrounding them. The river was half-frozen, white ice and snow covering most of it. Snape flung open the door dramatically and strode it, turning on the side lamp on the table. "Wait out here, Potter," he said, "while I inspect the place."

Harry felt a strange warmth inside him. This was not the first time Snape had protected him. During his first year at Hogwarts, when Professor Quirrell had jinxed his broom, Snape had tried to put a countercurse on it. He feared he couldn't count the times Snape had tried to save him. And he felt a pang of guilt when he realized that, every time he had tried to save him, Harry had thought the Potions Master to be the one attacking him.

"It's clear," Snape called, and Harry went in and closed the door behind him, shaking the snow off his boots. Harry looked around the room. There were several couches and an old-fashioned television besides a fireplace. The floor was wood as well, and there was a small kitchen. It was a studio and, Harry realized, it only had one bed.

"I'll take the couch," Harry offered, knowing there was no way Snape would let him have the bed. He began to take his bags over to the living room.

"Nonsense," Snape said. "I don't see a problem with both of us sleeping in the bed. There's enough room."

Harry turned to him in surprise, sure he must be dreaming. Grossed out as he was at the thought of sharing a bed with Snape, he would be more comfortable. "All right," Harry said. "As long as you don't kill me in the night."

He brought his belongings over to the right side of the bed. "I expect we should get started with your lessons, then," Snape said. "Occlumency first."

"Fine," Harry relented, wishing he could curl up by the fireplace with a warm cup of cocoa. Or Butterbeer. But he didn't think that he'd find Butterbeer here. He and Snape stood in the middle of the room, about ten feet apart from each other. "Legilimens!" Snape said at once, and Harry started. Images flashed across his mind, of the time he found himself on the school roof, the time Aunt Marge's dog had chased him up a tree, the time he was running from Dudley and his friends. Then there was the time that he'd set a boa constrictor loose at the zoo.

The images ended, and Snape rested a hand on the counter, panting. "Control your mind, Potter."

"I didn't think you were going to start off right away," Harry said. Snape was looking at him strangely.

"That's it for today," Snape decided. "I'm going to go get some wood for the fire."

It would prove to be a very uncomfortable night, physically and emotionally. Harry vehemently wished there had been a king sized bed. Or a California king bed. Instead, if Harry moved slightly, he found himself pressed against Snape. "I'm so sorry," Harry gasped, awkwardly scooting over to the edge of the bed. He rolled over and fell off the bed, pulling the sheets with him.

Snape sighed.

Morning found Harry with one arm draped over the side of the bed. He opened his eyes to find a view of the floor, where his glasses were laying. Luckily, they hadn't broken in the night.

He heard a deep chuckle and looked up. Snape was sitting in the armchair, a book in his lap. "You really like to read, don't you?"

"And you really like to sleep in the most uncomfortable positions," Snape retorted. Was Snape...teasing him?

"I just don't know if sleeping in the same bed is necessarily appropriate, Professor," Harry pointed out.

"I don't bite," Snape said. "I suppose we should get started with your lessons." He put his book down and got up. "You need to be prepared for an attack at any time," Snape instructed him. "Voldemort isn't going to ask you politely if you are ready."

Harry stared. Snape was one of the few people he knew to actually call Voldemort by his true name. "Well then," Snape said. "Legilimens!"

Harry was beginning to realize that each sequence of events followed a specific theme. This time, it was Sirius. Him first hearing about Sirius on the news, followed by sightings of the Grim, Professor Trelawney in class saying she saw the Grim in Harry's tea leaves. That night in the Shrieking Shack, then the last image of Sirius falling into the Veil.

Tears were streaming down Harry's face when it was over. "Control your mind," Snape said to him. As if as an afterthought, Snape handed Harry a rag to wipe his face. Harry saw a soft look in Snape's eyes that hadn't been there before. Snape's eyes widened, and his walls went back up so quickly Harry thought he'd just imagined the look on his face.

"Sit down," Snape said to him, and he and Harry took seats on the couches. "Have you been sleeping well, Harry?"

"I still have nightmares sometimes," Harry admitted. "Mostly about Sirius. And Voldemort."

Snape nodded. "Then I will make you a Dreamless Sleep potion," he said.

"Thank you, sir," Harry said. He hesitated.

"What is it?" asked Snape.

"Well, last night, I didn't have any nightmares," Harry said. "Not one."

"That may be because being close to a skilled Legilimens will block them out," Snape said.

"Oh," Harry said awkwardly.

"So I'll make you the Dreamless Sleep potion," Snape decided.

"Thank you, Professor," Harry said.

Harry and Snape fell into a routine together. During the morning, they would practice Occlumency. In the evenings, Snape would teach him his other subjects. He proved to be indeed quite skilled in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Snape seemed to enjoy teaching him DADA - his entire demeanor brightened and he seemed the most passionate teaching DADA.

Harry and Snape spent their nights playing wizard's chess. Snape was actually quite good, and Harry spent a lot of time getting his ass kicked by the Potions Master. He was sleeping better too and had gotten more comfortable sleeping beside Snape.

Perhaps Harry had gotten too comfortable because one morning, to his horror, he found himself snuggled against Snape. Snape had an arm around him, making it impossible for Harry to escape without waking the Potions Master up. "Shit," Harry whispered. His head was tucked under Snape's chin, and Snape rolled towards him, his body pressing up against Harry's. "Double shit."

Snape was going to kill Harry when he woke up.

Harry tried to pull his head out from under Snape's arm, but to his horror, the Potions Master's eyes opened. "Harry?"

"Triple shit," Harry muttered.

"Mr. Potter," Snape said. "You don't have to be scared of me."

"Oh," said Harry dumbly, unsure of what else to say.

A knock at the door interrupted them. They both jumped, and Snape got up to answer the door. "Albus?"

"Hello, Severus," said Dumbledore, looking around the cabin. "I see you and Harry have made this place quite cozy." His eyes twinkled.

"Yes," Snape said. "Well, we are living here for the foreseeable future."

"And which one of you is sleeping on the couch?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"He is," Snape and Harry said at once, pointing to each other.

"I see," Dumbledore said. The twinkling in his eyes only increased, and unfortunately for Harry, Dumbledore did in fact seem to see. "Well, I'm glad to see you two in the same room together without any scathing remarks." He looked pointedly at Snape. "If I could speak with you for a moment outside, Severus?"

"Of course," said Snape obediently. Harry grinned and went into the kitchen to make breakfast as Snape followed Dumbledore outside.

After Dumbledore left, Harry and Snape began their daily Occlumency lesson. "Clear your mind," Snape said. "That will help you to block me from it. Legilimens!"

Harry saw another memory of the Dursleys. He felt a sense of dread as he watched his Uncle Vernon enter the room. He was carrying a stick with him. "This is for being such an ungrateful brat," Vernon said, hitting him with the stick. Then he turned Harry around harshly, pulling down the boy's pants.

Harry would never forget the look on Snape's face when the memory was over. He'd never seen Snape so close to tears - in fact, he'd never seen this much emotion from the man. "Potter-" he managed, but then stopped. "Harry-"

Harry blinked in shock. "Y-Yes, Professor?" he stammered.

"How many times did this happen?" he asked dangerously.

Harry gulped. "Um...over ten," he admitted. "I don't know exactly how many times."

Snape looked thunderous. "You...Don't...Know," he said. "Again, Potter."

Snape pointed his wand at him. "Legilimens!"

Nothing happened.

"L-Legilimens!" Snape stammered, but nothing happened again.

Harry said, "Legilimens!" Shockingly, Harry was able to have a glimpse in the man's mind.

"I don't think I can do this, Albus," Severus said as he and Albus walked in the snow. "I don't think I can tutor Harry anymore."

"And why not?" was all Albus asked. Severus thought he would have protested more.

"Because...because the way those Muggles treated him was horrible," Severus said. "For all these years, I thought he was a spoiled brat, and he isn't. I can't stand going through his memories anymore. He won't block them, and it's...it's taking a toll on me. I haven't been sleeping well."

"Harry has had a hard life, Severus," Albus said. "Perhaps you could finally be the one to show him-"

"Don't say it, Albus," Severus said. "Don't. You know I can't."

"I think you can do more than you realize, Severus."

The memory ended, and Snape glared at Harry. "I - I'm sorry, sir," Harry said.

Snape looked around the cabin, seeming to realize there was nowhere for him to go. He sighed, sinking down onto one of the couches. "You don't want to tutor me anymore?" Harry asked.

"No," Snape said. "I don't want to tutor you anymore."

That stung. Harry hadn't realized how his relationship with Snape was changing until now. "I want to be your friend," Snape admitted, not meeting Harry's eyes.

"You want to be my friend?" Harry repeated. "Why?"

"You saw the memory," Snape said, stiffening.

"I'm sorry I pried," Harry said. He knew what a private person Snape was.

"No, Harry, that's good," Snape said. Harry, caught up in the conversation, didn't realize that Snape had called him by his first name. "You finally did it! I believe this calls for a celebration. Have you ever had Firewhisky?"

Harry blinked. Was Snape asking him to...drink with him?

"Harry, if you are going to sit there and gawk at me, I will drink all the Firewhisky myself," Snape said.

"I'll have some, Professor," Harry agreed.

"And enough with that 'Professor' nonsense," Snape said. "Call me Severus, if we are going to be friends."

"Wait," Harry said. "What makes you think you can just call the shots in our relationship?"

"Well, it would be quite weird for us to be friends, with me calling you Potter and you calling me Professor."

"Good point."

Harry wasn't much of a drinker, so it wasn't long before Harry found himself quite hammered. Severus, on the other hand, still seemed sober an hour later. "I don't just want to be your friend," Severus was saying. "I want to be an adult that you can trust."

"If this is about that memory of my Uncle Vernon…" Harry slurred. He was preparing the wizard's chess set for them to play.

"It is," Severus said. "And rightfully so. Do you expect me to just forget about that?"

"Yes."

Severus took a long drink. "When we get out of hiding," he said, finally seeming drunk, "I am going to kill him. Slowly."

Harry was touched by Severus's passion. He hadn't told anyone about what happened with his uncle, not even Dumbledore or Ron and Hermione. "Thank you, Severus," Harry said softly. He leaned forward and kissed Severus on the cheek, dangerously close to his lips. He felt Severus's breath hitch.

Harry thought Severus might kill him, but all he did was clear his throat. "It's nothing," Severus said. "Let's just play chess."

Harry dreamed of Severus that night. They were about to start playing chess, and Harry had just kissed Severus on the cheek. Suddenly, they were kissing before Harry knew who kissed who. Harry moved a hand back into Severus's hair, deepening their kiss. The Potions Master's lips were soft and warm against his, and Severus was so gentle with him. Harry felt a tongue lick his bottom lip gently, and he opened his mouth for Severus. Severus's tongue licked his before moving further back into his mouth to explore. Harry wrapped his arms around Severus's neck, knocking him to the floor. He felt hands sliding around his hips as he stroked the older man's hair. "Severus," Harry groaned.

"Harry."

Harry woke up, tears in his eyes. He felt groggy and disoriented. Severus was asleep beside him, snoring. Harry smiled. He supposed he had always fallen asleep before Severus, and he didn't realize that the older man snored. Or maybe he just snored sometimes.

Hoping Severus was a heavy sleeper, Harry reached out and brushed hair out of Severus's eyes. His hair wasn't greasy. It was soft, and silky. "Merlin help me," Harry whispered.

He was falling in love with Severus.

Over the next few days, Harry worked on being able to master Occlumency. Severus was a great teacher, and he was slowly becoming more gentle with Harry. It was nice to see the man's soft side - it didn't come out often, but when it did, Severus was quite pleasant to be around, and he could actually be quite funny. He had a dark sense of humor filled with sarcastic vocabulary, and Harry hadn't recognized it as humor before, when they hated each other.

They were quite different, but they made a good team. Severus taught him to calm his emotions, and Harry was slowly beginning to teach Severus to let his guard down and become more emotional. The tables were turned, though - the Potions Master was now struggling to enter Harry's mind, and it was making Harry easier to enter Severus's. He could tell Severus was struggling to let Harry in, and Harry knew it would take time. But they were working on it.

Harry's other lessons were coming along well. Severus was teaching Harry advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts. "I had no idea you were so skilled at so many subjects," Harry said one afternoon during wizard's chess and a couple drinks.

"I studied more when I became a professor," Severus said. "It allowed me advanced schooling as well. Hogwarts has that option for staff if they want to continue their studies. But, I was already skilled in these subjects when I was in school. I also had a lot of free time to study."

Harry felt a pang of guilt for how his father had treated Severus in school. He'd seen some of Severus's memories of James and the other Marauders. "I'm sorry," he said.

"It's not your fault," Severus said.

"You sure treated me like it was," Harry snapped without thinking. Severus winced, and Harry could see his walls coming up again. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"You really need to learn to control that mouth, Po - Harry," Severus said. "I am still your professor."

"And you need to learn to stop being so damn frustrating," retorted Harry. "I need some air." He stepped out of the cabin. It was cold, but the thing about living in a studio cabin was that there was nowhere to go if one of them wanted to leave. He supposed that was what was bringing them closer together, emotionally as well as physically. They'd fought for ages - why did it hurt now that they'd had a small disagreement?

When Harry went back inside, he said, "I am sorry, Severus. Sometimes my temper gets the better of me."

"It's all right," said Severus cautiously. "Let's get back to chess so I can beat you."

"Whatever, you old git," said Harry cheerfully.

"Oh, now you're definitely getting beaten," Severus said with an evil smirk.

"Legilimens!" Severus shouted one evening. Harry hadn't been ready. The images that his mind showed were of him and Severus - them arriving at the cabin, their first night together. And then the previous night - the dream Harry had had of him and Severus. An image flashed before his eyes of them kissing in bed, desperately, wildly. And then, of them doing more.

When the images were over, Harry found himself back in present reality, with Severus staring at him with a stunned expression on his face. "Harry," Severus said, but Harry didn't stick around to see Severus' reaction. He ran out of the cabin, tears flowing down his cheeks. He went around to the back of the cabin, knowing he didn't have anywhere to go that Severus wouldn't find him.

He did find Harry. "Harry," Severus said. The younger man looked at him, terrified. It must have shown in his eyes, because Severus backed up slightly, his eyes filled with sadness. "I know I've treated you badly over the years, and I know weeks of friendship can't make up for that."

"It can't," Harry said, and Severus flinched. "Give me one good reason not to be terrified of you right now."

Severus strode over to the younger man, pulled him into his arms and kissed him. The kiss was slow, soft, and Harry wrapped his arms around Severus's neck and pulled him even closer. Severus's lips were soft and warm, and very gentle against his own. "Severus," Harry whispered against his mouth. His body pressed against Severus's, causing both men to gasp.

"Inside," Severus said. "Before we catch a cold." Once inside, Severus said, "Merlin, what am I doing? I'm taking advantage of you."

"No," Harry said, moving closer to him. "I want this."

"Have you ever had a consensual relationship, Harry?" Severus asked.

"I had a crush on Cho in fourth year, and we kissed in fifth," Harry admitted. "I was with Ginny for a while. But...I've never had a consensual sexual experience." He blushed.

"That's nothing to be ashamed about, Harry," Severus said sharply.
"Severus?"

"Hmm?"

Harry closed the distance between them, kissing Severus firmly. The kiss lingered, and Harry wrapped his arms around Severus's neck, pulling the other man against him. As their lips brushed against the other's over and over again, Harry ran his fingers through Severus's soft, silky hair, burying his fingers in it. Severus's hands found Harry's hips, and he felt himself sandwiched between the countertop and Severus's body. The kiss began to grow hot, and Harry felt himself harden against Severus's leg. Severus's answering groan made his knees weak.

Severus pulled away. "I think we should take this slow, Harry."

"I don't want to," Harry protested, kissing Severus fervently. His hips pressed against Harry's, and Harry trembled against him.

Severus pulled back. "Are you scared?" he asked.

"No," Harry replied. "I'm...nervous," he admitted. "I'm nervous around you." He kissed Severus, taking the Potions Master's bottom lip between his teeth and gently biting down. Severus growled, and the sound sent fire coursing through Harry. Their bodies pressed together, and Harry could feel something hard press into his thigh. Harry caressed him through his robes, and Severus gasped, pulling back.

"No, Harry," Severus said. "Not tonight. I really think we should take this slow."

Harry sighed. "Okay."

The days passed quickly. His nights were filled with Severus's kisses, and he didn't have any nightmares. One afternoon, he and Severus were in the middle of Occlumency, when Harry shouted, "Legilimens!" A bunch of images came up of Severus and Harry throughout the years, but the memories were filled with...warmth? Warmth towards him. Harry realized then, that Severus had never hated him. A particular memory came up for Harry. It was the night after his first feast at Hogwarts, the night of the Sorting, when he had first seen Severus.

"Potter is here," Severus said, sweeping into Dumbledore's office. "Potter is here, and you didn't tell me."

"Was I supposed to tell you?" Dumbledore asked.

Severus flinched. "A heads-up would have been nice," he said. "You didn't tell me he had his mother's eyes." A pause. "I'm going to protect him, Albus. I'm going to protect him because I couldn't protect her."

The memories stopped. Severus was frozen when Harry's vision came back, and he was staring at him. "Severus?" Harry breathed. "What...was that?"

"Harry, there are some things you don't know," Severus said slowly.

"You didn't tell me," Harry said, hurt. "You never told me any of that." He was starting to raise his voice.

"Harry, you know I am a very private person," Severus said. "It wasn't personal-"

"But the way you treated me was personal!" Harry exclaimed, and Severus flinched. "I thought you-" He stopped.

"You thought what?" Severus asked.

"Nothing," Harry said. Bringing up the fact that Harry, Ron and Hermione had thought that Severus was trying to steal the Sorcerer's Stone was probably not the best idea.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "There are some things you should probably know," he said. "Why don't we sit down for this."

This couldn't be good. They sat on the couch, and Severus explained how he was friends with Harry's mother, how Sirius and James had bullied him when they were in school. Severus told him that he had called Lily a Mudblood, and that she hadn't forgiven him. He told Harry about finding Lily dead in her home with Harry in his crib. He told Harry everything. "I'm sure you don't want to be with me anymore, after all I told you," Severus said. "I understand."

Harry could tell he was starting to pull away, and put up his walls again. He wouldn't let him do that. "No," he said firmly, taking Severus's hand in his. The Potions Master's breath hitched.

"Harry, did you not hear a word I said?" Severus said. "I left you there." To Harry's shock, tears filled Severus's eyes. He'd never seen Severus cry. Never.

"You obviously regret it," Harry said softly. "Plus, I'd probably be dead if it weren't for you. I think you've more than made up for it. I don't think you want me dead, Severus. And you don't have to put up your walls around me. I see you. You're a good person."

Severus's eyes were wide, terrified. Tears spilled down his cheeks. "I'm not a good person, Harry," Severus said.

"You saved me," Harry said softly. "You've saved me." And he wasn't just talking about Severus protecting him. He was talking about Severus sleeping with him these many nights in the cabin, saving him from his nightmares. He was talking about Severus being with him - a relationship Harry had gained after losing so many people. But, most importantly, Severus had saved Harry by letting Harry save him. He'd let his walls down around Harry, for Harry only, and it made Harry feel like he was worth it, too.

Harry wiped Severus's tears away gently, then leaned forward and kissed them away. Severus turned his face so that Harry's lips met his, and fire bloomed in Harry's chest. He pulled Severus down on top of him, Severus's body pressing against his. Harry's breath caught in his throat, and he tugged Severus closer, the Slytherin's tongue caressing his. Harry's hands slid down to Severus's hips, his fingers brushing bare skin. Severus gasped into his mouth, the hem of Severus's black robes riding up as Harry slid his hands up his bare back. He felt Severus shiver against him. They kissed, hot and openmouthed, exploring each others' mouths with a fervent passion.

"More," Harry gasped out, moving his hand between Severus's legs. "I want you. I need you." Hips pressed into Harry's, and the younger man's breath hitched. "God, I want you." With trembling fingers, Harry reached up and unbuttoned the first button on Severus's robes, then the second, then the third.

"Harry…" Severus pulled back, sitting back on the couch. "I just want to make sure that this is something you really want."

"Goddamn it, Severus, I've been daydreaming about you nonstop for the past two weeks," Harry growled, pulling Severus against him. Severus gasped, his hands sliding down to Harry's hips. "In a very, very sexual way."

Severus's eyes closed. "I don't know how much longer I can control myself around you, Harry."

"Don't," Harry said. "Don't stop." A kiss. "I don't want you to stop." Their tongues touched. Severus moved his hand between Harry's legs, slipping a hand inside his underwear. Harry felt himself throbbing as Severus slipped a finger inside him, caressing him. Harry shivered against him. "Fuck," Harry gasped. "Severus."

Severus smirked, adding another finger and curling them, sliding them deeper. Severus pulled Harry flushed against him, earning a gasp from Harry. Harry could feel how hard the Potions Master was, and he wanted to tear Severus's clothes off.

Severus added a third finger, making a V with his fingers and stretching him. Harry panted against him, and Severus seemed to be thoroughly enjoying watching Harry come undone. Severus pulled his fingers out, and they were dripping wet. Harry's eyes widened when Severus licked his fingers. "Delicious," Severus said.

Harry growled, pulling Severus against him. "Fuck me," Harry gasped, and Severus shivered. Harry unbuttoned Severus's trousers, tugging them down. He wrapped a hand around Severus, and the Potions Master gasped, hardening under his touch-

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Severus froze. Severus buttoned his pants and said, "Stay behind me." He followed Severus to the door, where Albus Dumbledore stood. Severus breathed a sigh of relief. "Albus."

"Severus," said Dumbledore. "How are things here?"

"They're...good," Harry piped up. "What's going on?"

"So everything is going well here, then?" Dumbledore said, and Harry and Severus both nodded. "Good. Harry, may I have a word with you outside?"

"Sure," Harry said, nervous. He looked at Severus, who nodded. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled knowingly as he closed the door behind them, and he walked with Dumbledore.

"Harry, I must start off by saying I know about you and Severus," Dumbledore said.

How? How did the man do it? He'd been there a total of two seconds. "How?" Harry asked out loud.

"Your pupils were dilated when I saw you just now, which is a telltale sign of attraction," Dumbledore said. "You then looked at him for approval. Am I wrong?"

"No. None of those things are wrong," Harry sighed.

"What I mean is, are you and Severus together?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes," Harry said honestly, his heart racing. Was he going to get in trouble? They hadn't talked about it, but Severus and Harry both knew that their relationship was forbidden. "Will you forbid me to be with him?"

"No," Dumbledore said, and Harry looked at him in shock. "I want Severus to be happy, and you seem to be making him happy. I shouldn't be encouraging a relationship between a teacher and a student, but I have my own personal biases when it comes to Severus. And you." There was a twinkle in his eye. "Besides, I doubt I could really stop you from being with him if you really wanted to."

"Thank you, sir," Harry said.

Dumbledore looked at Harry more closely. "My arrival was at a bad time, was it not?"

"With all due respect, it was, sir," Harry said, blushing furiously.

"Ah." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled even more. "Harry, I must ask you one more thing. Please take care of him. Severus has been through a lot in his life, and he deserves someone like you."

"I will," Harry promised. He hadn't realized this before, but he did now. "I love him, sir. I love him a lot, and I'm scared."

"Love is probably the most terrifying thing," Dumbledore acknowledged. "But I believe you and Severus feel the same way about love. Maybe something to talk with him about?" He patted Harry's shoulder. "Well, I must be going. I'll see you inside safely." He walked Harry to the door, and Severus was on the couch reading a book.

"Bye, Professor Dumbledore," Harry said.

"Goodbye, Harry." Without another word, Dumbledore Apparated, and Harry shut the door behind him.

"Well?" Severus asked, setting his book down. "What did Albus have to say?"

Harry sat down beside him. "He figured out that we're together in two seconds," Harry informed him.

Severus sighed. "Of course he did. Any trouble?"

"No," Harry said. He could tell the moment between him and Severus was over, for now, and he felt a pang of disappointment.

Harry woke up one night, tears in his eyes. Severus was by his side in an instant, smoothing back his hair. "Harry?" he asked, gently. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"No," Harry said. The dream came back to him, of gentle kisses and touches, and then more. "I dreamed about you." He felt his face burning.

"Harry, that is nothing to be embarrassed about," Severus said.

"I love you," Harry said, and Severus froze. He reached out and brushed a lock of hair out of Severus's eyes. "I love you, Severus Snape."

Severus shook his head, pulling away from Harry. "No, Harry. I - I can't do this," Severus said.

Harry sat up. "Are you serious right now?" he said. "I literally just gave my heart to you, and you stomped on it. I've been literally begging for you for weeks, and it just doesn't seem like you want me."

Conflicting emotions swam in Severus's eyes. "You were raped, Harry," Severus said. "I told you I want to take this slowly. I also told you that I am not the right person for you."

"Shouldn't it be me who gets to decide that?" Harry asked.

"No," Severus said. "No, it shouldn't be."

"So it should be you, then?" Harry said. "Well, bugger off, then, and leave me alone." He turned and rolled over, and Severus pulled away from him, going to lay on the couch.

Harry was in a bad mood over the next few days, mainly because the Christmas holidays were approaching and he wasn't able to spend it with the Weasleys. He took his anger out on Severus, snapping vicious words at him whenever the opportunity presented itself.

One day, he and Severus were practicing Defense Against the Dark Arts. Severus was giving him advanced lessons. "Position yourself like this," Severus was saying. His hands found Harry's hips, and Harry's breath hitched. His body pressed against Harry's as he turned him in the correct position. Harry's heart was beating positively fast now, and he felt suddenly hot all over. He broke your heart, Harry reminded himself, but to no avail. He couldn't help his body's reactions to Severus. "If you position your feet like this, the momentum of your spell will not knock you off your feet." Severus shouted a spell, knocking Harry backwards into the dining room table. Harry crashed against it, hitting his head. He rubbed his head, sitting up.

"What the hell was that for?" Harry asked.

"You weren't paying attention," Severus snapped at him, pointing his wand at the dining room table. He fired another spell at Harry.

"PROTEGO!" Harry yelled, shielding himself. "Maybe I wasn't-" he started.

"Expelliarmus!" Severus shouted, and Harry's wand flew out of his hand. Harry ran and picked it up, bringing him into close contact with Severus. Harry gulped, backing up. Severus moved forward, and Harry shoved him, hard. Severus actually stumbled, looking surprised.

"Maybe I wasn't paying attention because I wanted you to kiss me, you git," Harry said. "I want you to kiss me."

Severus shook his head. "I can't do that," he said. "Not after...what you told me."

"I told you I love you, you idiot," Harry said. "If you're going to be a coward, at least say it like it is." Severus flinched, and Harry moved closer, taking his hand. "Your reactions to my feelings don't change how I feel, Severus. You can push me away all you want, but I still love you."

"You shouldn't," Severus said. "I didn't realize how serious things were getting. I should have, and I am sorry."

"So, what, you were just leading me on?" Harry said angrily. He was hurt, really hurt. "You know what? Screw you, Severus Snape. You're nothing but a coward. You're so sure that no one could possibly love you, that you push away anyone who tries. Well, guess what. I'm done trying with you."

Severus made him sleep in his arms that night, because that was the best way for Harry's nightmares to stop. Harry seethed as Severus tugged him close, really close, and Harry swallowed, suddenly nervous. They were facing each other, Severus's body on top of his. "I hate you," Harry breathed, staring up into Severus's eyes. He wanted to brush a lock of hair out of Severus's eyes, and wanted to slap himself for the thought.

"You'll thank me tomorrow when you've slept," Severus pointed out, his hips accidentally pressing into Harry's.

Harry gasped. "I really won't," he said.

"That's not what you said just now," Severus said seductively, his lips at Harry's ear. Harry shivered, fire spreading through him.

"I - I hate you," Harry said again. But as he said it, he ran a hand down Severus's stomach, his hands finding the hem of Severus's shirt and touching warm, bare skin. Their lips were inches apart, and Severus let out a little gasp that went straight to Harry's groin. Oh, gods, he was so hard. He wanted Severus's hands on him, his mouth…

Severus chuckled knowingly. That bastard. The wanting was killing Harry, and he didn't think he'd ever wanted anything so badly. His hips pressed into Harry's, and Harry gasped loudly. Severus chuckled again, and Harry wanted to slap him. He knew exactly what he was doing to Harry, and the bastard was enjoying every second of it. "My, you really want me, don't you?" Severus said.

"I-" Harry said. If he said no, he knew Severus would stop. "Damn it," he said. "Damn you," he said, and pulled Severus into a hot, steamy kiss. Severus's tongue ran along his, and Harry groaned deep in his throat, feeling Severus's hard length press into his thigh. Harry unbuttoned Severus's robes with shaking fingers, struggling to get the buttons undone. Clothes quickly fell to the floor, and Severus moved down the bed, settling between his legs. Harry trembled with anticipation as Severus licked his opening, slowly, slipping his tongue inside him. The sensation was nothing like Harry had ever felt, and he gasped, arching against Severus's hot mouth. Severus caressed his insides with his tongue, effectively eating him out. Severus was doing wicked, wicked things with his tongue and Harry felt like his entire body was on fire. Severus found his sweet spot, and he licked it.

Harry came, spilling all over the bed and soaking the sheets. Then, he felt Severus's erection slip down to his hole, pushing against it. Harry gasped, holding onto Severus's shoulders. "Severus," he gasped. "Fuck me."

Harry could see Severus's self-control crumble. With a push, Severus was inside him, and Harry gasped from the pain, but the pain disappeared after a while. Severus pushed deeper, earning a groan from Harry. Severus fucked him, hard, and Harry flipped them over, riding him into the mattress. The kiss that followed was beyond steamy. It was pure fire.

Harry came again, seeing stars. Severus followed shortly after, spilling his seed deep inside Harry. They collapsed on top of each other, gasping for air. "Gods," Severus gasped, holding him close. They fell asleep together like that almost instantly.

Harry woke to the door being knocked down. "Severus!" He shook the older man awake, and Severus woke to find Voldemort standing over him, his wand under his throat.

"Whatever are you doing here, Severus?" Voldemort asked him, and turned to Harry in surprise. "Is he your lover?" Voldemort asked Severus, laughing, the sound so cold that Harry felt it in his bones.

"Take me," Severus said. "Take me, but leave him alone. Don't hurt him."

"You love him," Voldemort said. "You betrayed me, Severus. Avada Kedavra!"

"NO!" Harry shouted, but it was too late. The green light blinded him, and when he was gone, he was left with just Severus. Severus was so cold, and he wasn't moving. "Severus? Severus! Severus, wake up, please, you have to wake up…" Harry gathered his strength and Apparated, holding Severus's body. He appeared in Dumbledore's office, sobbing, incoherent. Dumbledore found him minutes later, but Harry let the grief take him.

"Harry," Dumbledore said. Harry didn't know how many days had passed since Severus's death. The days had blurred together. Harry had been excused from lessons altogether during his period of grief. "Severus would hate to see you like this."

Harry was currently curled up on the floor beside his bed, clutching one of the posts. He was crying his eyes out, and barely noticed Dumbledore's presence. "I c-can't-" he sobbed, and Harry saw something in Dumbledore deflate. The older man sat down on the floor beside him. "I can't do anything. I couldn't even protect the one I was supposed to love."

"Harry," said Dumbledore sharply. "You do love Severus. I know you do, because I can see how crushed you are. It was Severus's plan to protect you from the beginning of all this, Harry. We discussed it. If it came to Severus's death, well, he was prepared for the worst."

"He always w-was," wept Harry.

"I can imagine how amazing you must have made Severus's last few weeks," Dumbledore said. "Severus didn't trust easily, but he chose to let you in. That says a lot."

"He m-made a mistake," Harry sobbed. "He's dead because of me now, because he decided to trust me." He paused. "We had one night together. One night."

"Life is so short," Dumbledore admitted. "Severus died young. He died protecting someone he loved."

"He never said-" Harry realized, but Dumbledore just smiled.

"Ah, but he did to me." Dumbledore handed him a piece of parchment paper. Harry opened it and began to read.

Albus, the letter read. I did not tell you the entire truth about why I don't want to continue to tutor Harry. I don't want to continue to tutor him because I have fallen in love with him. I assure you that my love for Harry is not because I loved his mother, and entirely because I love him. I have come to enjoy spending time with him these last few weeks. I cannot tell him because our friendship is going so well, and I would hate to lose what we have. A better, stronger man than myself would be able to continue these lessons with Harry; however, I am neither. Please accept my sincerest apology. S.

Dumbledore watched him closely. "He loved you with all of his heart," Dumbledore said.

Harry felt great pain. "I spent our last days together not speaking to him," he said. "Except for a brief moment when we-" He stopped, remembering that he was talking to Dumbledore, but Dumbledore already seemed to guess what he had been about to say.

"Severus knew," Dumbledore said. "He knew you loved him." He patted Harry on the shoulder and left.

Harry sat with Hedwig by the lake, Severus's letter in his hand. He clutched it to his chest, Severus's last words staying with him. Severus had loved him. Loved him still, wherever he was in the next life. Harry wanted one more conversation with him, longed for it. What he would tell Severus if he could go back in time. But he couldn't. And he cried, burying his face in Hedwig's soft fur. She let him as he cried his eyes out, Severus's letter still clutched to his chest.

AN: I hope you enjoyed my story! Thank you for reading :)