Heart Felt Wounds
"Issei Hyoudou" - Talking
'Issei Hyoudou'- Thought
"Issei Hyoudou" - Communication circle/phone
*Sounds*
[ Issei Hyoudou ] - Heavenly Dragons.
"Issei Hyoudou" - Draconic voice
A spacious room surrounds me; even though it has two beds and large dressers accompanying both its potential occupants and all the other comforting furniture around the room, it has plenty of room to walk around. It's almost an impressive feat that anyone could design something like a bedroom to be this big.
A book was held up in my hand above me, with the bed's plush white sheets providing a comfortable surface to lay. My eyes glazed through each page's words as I quickly flipped through them, not that I was actually reading them. More or less, I was just skimming through the pages in boredom.
It was more akin to occupying time with something I've never seen before. Truth be told, I don't even know what this book is about, but it's not like I have anything better to do right now as the time passes.
"...ugh," I let out a small groan, releasing my right hand's grip on the book, allowing it to fall closed on my thumb, and covering my eyes with my now free hand.
The sun just begins to crest over the manor's eaves, allowing it's bright midday rays to peer its way through my window, landing on my previously trained eyes. It's light began to illuminate the rest of the room, reflecting off the white sheets that covered my body and the bed I lay on.
"What time is it?" I asked myself in a monotonous voice. My gaze wandered over to the clock hanging on the wall, reading it to be around 1:30 P.M.
A few days have passed since I awoke. Since then, this has been my daily routine. The others are adamant about my rest and would scold me if they caught me so much as training in the state from which I just recently began recovering.
I let out another sigh, part being frustrated, and the rest is out of boredom. Yet, despite lying in bed, I wasn't tired, not even the tiniest amount, or more accurately, I wouldn't let myself be tired. I'd dare not risk relaxing to sleep unless needed after what happened. The memories of that woman's overwhelming power sent a chill down my spine just by thinking about it.
All I know as of now is she is extremely powerful, and the reason Inanis was the strongest of the Heavenly Dragons. He said he knew I would encounter her eventually because of our blood relations, but he never expected it this soon.
Inanis said he would explain everything he could about her in time, though he didn't tell me when he would. His reasoning was she could overhear the time to show up right when we're about to talk. It may not be a full-proof way of stopping her, but it's better than nothing, I guess. If it came down to it, I would trust that old dragon with my life after all.
Still... I can't help but worry. I've rarely been in a fight so one-sided as that. Even after being faced with Sirzechs' "True Form," I felt like I at least had a chance, even if only an insignificant one. I haven't felt that helpless since I was a child. Even though I've grown so much stronger since then, to be faced with it again...
Ringing through the air outside was the sound of metal clashing against one another. Such a screeching sound quickly reached my ears, catching my attention, albeit muffled from the walls and shut window.
'It isn't going to fix anything worrying about it like this. I'll just have to wait until Inanis updates me on everything,' I thought to myself, the loud screeching shaking my head's previous thoughts.
Setting up, the bed began to faintly creak underneath me, the sheets wrinkling slightly as my tail uncoiled itself from beneath the covers. My wings sprawl outwards, and with my arms raised, I began to stretch away from the stiffness from lying in bed for hours on end.
Lifting myself from the mattress's comfortable embrace, I walked over to the bed's side, opening the window that allowed the sun's bright light to enter the room.
With my higher than average body temperature, most buildings' rooms can get quite stifling, though I don't want to be a bother to the others, nor do I want to freeze them out, so I tend to keep that to myself.
As I opened the window, I took a deep breath of the fresh air that rushed into the room, and it quickly provided an almost refreshing sensation from the atmosphere in this room—the breeze's cooling sensation gracing me with its presence.
With the only barrier between me and the sound now broken, they only grew louder. The sounds of screeching metal emanating from a small group sparing near the forest's thick greenery. Their speed and the use of swords, all clear indications that they were Knights of the peerages.
Though, there were two that stood out to me in the group, neither of them having impressive speed and using their fists rather than swords. I could easily tell on was Saji, just from the slight draconic aura his Sacred Gear emitted. The other must be Sona's other Pawn. It would make sense to have the pawns against each other, though it seems a little unfair considering Saji's Sacred Gear.
Watching the group slam steel against steel, or fist against fist, sent the recent memories of Kiba and I sparring together close in the same spot flooding through my mind. His blades clashing against my scales as I analyzed for any way he could improve.
Though, it wasn't just him. I sparred with nearly everyone throughout that week, analyzing them all the same as I did with him. Just as I need to do now again, I would have lost track of time if it wasn't for the racket they're making. I'm sure Sona is doing the same thing with her peerage members, or perhaps she's training with them like Rias.
The Knights are right in front of me, but the others are scattered across the property. Rias and Akeno are undoubtedly with the others who use magic as their primary offense and defense. Wynter and Koneko are with Kuroka, most likely accompanied by Sona's Rook as well. All while Asia runs around between the groups to restore them, enhancing her stamina.
Despite the fact that I'm overseeing their training, it wasn't my initial idea. I was actually opposed to it and suggested that this should be a week of rest for everyone. I felt terrible about everything they had to go through recently. I, in the end, was the sole cause of that all.
Though, Rias shut down that idea rather quickly.
'Rest is good, but too much can lead to laziness. We rested the three days you were out of it, so now we need to make up for that rest with productivity,' Her studious words repeated themselves in my head. Though she was the one who said it, everyone there felt the same. They all agreed with her statement in whole.
That talk has been the most casual interaction we've had since I've woken up, same with Akeno. It's so awkward to be around the two of them now. I lied to them both so much. They're undoubtedly pissed at me, and yet I can't apologize to them.
At least Kuroka isn't like that. The relations between her and me haven't changed at all, except her being frustrated at my recklessness. Though I didn't hide anything from her either, so it's not surprising.
It's not that I don't want to. I just don't know how. I've never fucked up this badly before, so how could I apologize to someone after everything I've caused? Rias did mention I don't have to come out this time, saying that I should prioritize my recovery for upcoming events, which I have no further knowledge of yet. Though that alone shows, she still cares for me, which suppresses the worst fears that come to my mind.
Though, she should know I can't just sit in here. I'm going to join them. So long as I don't directly participate, everything should be fine.
Another metallic ring of steel slashing steel echoed out from the knights, drawing another sigh from me.
'It's admirable. Such a will to improve oneself, whether it be for yourself or others,' I thought to myself.
Even though those were my thoughts, I can't help but feel guilty for them, having to spend a week that should be meant for recovering like this. Undoubtedly, they're doing this because of what happened. So they can be useful if I was to ever go on a rampage like that again, or so they can help me against foes when I need it.
Such a feeling was natural. This peerage is the closest thing I've had to a family since I was a kid. I wanted to protect all of them, and I don't want them to hurt themselves because of my actions. Even my familiar, who I've known for a much shorter time, has done nothing but support me. They're all so precious to me.
Even though I caused that all to happen, I'm sure most of them, if not all, would forgive me. Though, forgiveness is meaningless unless your willing to make good on it. I can't settle for that. I won't let myself. I need to redeem that grievous action with ones that will be worth their forgiveness. I'm not sure how yet, but I'll find a way, no matter how long it takes.
"Yet, I can't help but be a little envious of them," I softly spoke to myself, watching the Knights go at it.
[Why is that?] Inanis' guttural voice echoed in my head.
"They're all out there, working hard to get strong, even after all the trouble I've caused them recently,"
[I understand. Though it makes me wonder, is that guilt speaking, or perhaps your addiction to battle?]
A twinged feeling of guilt throbbed within me at his words. While I genuinely do feel horrible for all the trouble I've caused, I can't help but be envious of those out there training to get stronger. Something I've strived to do my entire life, and as Inanis said, have become slightly obsessed.
[You may be able to hide it from the others, but not from me. When someone's weapons are raised against you, no matter the type. It gets your adrenalin pumping. Your instincts drive you to strength and battle.]
"Heh, perhaps your right,"
That very same twinge of guilt throbbed once again at my very own words.
I know all too well that he's dead on. No matter the target, no matter how strong they are, A spark of excitement burns within me at the thought of a fight, even against someone like Riser. Under all that anger I held towards him for trying to force Rias into marriage, I couldn't help but be excited.
"Even so, it isn't fair that they are working hard after being through so much while I get to rest in here. They should be resting as well,"
[That may be so, but you already know how both your mates and I feel about training right now. Especially Kuroka, she got onto you pretty good about how you need to take better care of yourself. Those three really do care about you, something to be jealous of for sure.]
"Yeah, I know that, and I really appreciate the concern shown for me. It just doesn't feel right to me,"
[Perhaps, but they've made that choice of their own accord. The least you can do is support them and help in a way that doesn't cause any more worry.]
Inanis' words give a subtle nudge of a reminder that it's about time I go out to them and offer my advice in the hope they can use it to improve even faster. However, even I can only do so much.
[Though with that all said, I can't help but be curious about the reasons running in your mind.]
"What do you mean?"
[The only reason you've trained in the past was to obliterate Kokabiel, but with him dead, the only goal you set has been reached. You've fought the Devil King, Sirzechs, one of the world's strongest beings. Though you didn't win, your still alive, which is more than most could say. You've beat down a supposed immortal into submission. So I can't help but wonder what reason still drives you to train and get more powerful than you already are.]
"I... uh..."
My mind seemingly stopped in its tracks and went completely blank. A deep quiet began to reign over our conversation, and I realized I didn't have a response that would answer his question. I couldn't even begin to think about a reply to his question, much less say anything.
A feeling began to well up in my stomach, though not the guilt I've felt. This was something different, perhaps anxiousness? With the realization that I now have no goals or purpose, it isn't unimaginable.
.
.
.
[I see. Well, the others are going to be expecting you soon, so I'll leave you be for now. Else you might end up missing your little appointments.]
"Yeah, right," I shook my head slightly, attempting to dispel the realization that hit me.
Pushing myself off the window frame, I reached above me, grabbing the window's edge and pulling it down to a close. The sounds of clashing steel now muffled by the once again closed barrier, the sound barely sneaking it's way insides to my ears.
Even though I tried to forget what Inanis asked, I could hear his words in the back of my head.
Another question occupied my mind as I entered the vast halls. Which group to check on first? In the end, it doesn't matter since I'd be seeing them all anyway. Perhaps it was just my desperate attempt to forget what Inanis said.
'Hmm, maybe Saji? I don't know who Sona grouped her Pawn with, but I haven't talked to the hatchling in a while,' I questioned to myself, interested in how much the hatchling could have progressed since we last spoke.
Though I quickly shook that idea from my head. As much as I'd like to talk to the dragon wielder, I should first focus on my peers first and foremost. Then I can speak with Sona's Pawn of my own accord. It would be rude for me to waste their time after they've been so thorough with their training.
'Maybe I should see if Asia's stamina is holding up. Running around like healing the others must be exhausting. Though with her going between groups would make her the hardest to find,'
Though it wasn't long after that, I would dismiss those thoughts. As I walked out into the sun's warming light, a small gasp of wonder left between my parted lips. However, it was from none of the pleasant sensations provided by mother nature.
Rather than mother nature's gift, my senses were barraged by a most riveting feeling, albeit a faint presence, it was one that caught my attention. The energy was very similar to Koneko's or Kuroka's Senjutsu, though it felt different from theirs and much weaker compared to the two Nekomatas.
"Well, guess I found out where I'll be going first," I spoke to myself. The sensation quickly took precedent in my mind, and without question, I began to follow where it would lead me.
After a few moments of walking, the sight of a group came into vision. Two feminine figures were fiercely going at it with one another, one with snow-white hair, and another with a dark blue. The two locked together as they launched and countered each other's offense.
Even though their ferocity was impressive, I couldn't help but be drawn to something else that seemed to be rather unusual. A black-haired girl sitting with her eyes closed in a meditative pose, and another woman, much more matured than the rest, standing nearby, closely watching them.
When thinking of meditation, the first thing to come to mind is a calm and relaxed state while clearing your mind, though the current display was almost anything but that. The furrow and strain on her face quickly destroyed any perception I had of typical meditation.
As I made my way over to who I assumed to be Wynter in the meditating position, my eyes wandered over to the two sparing together. The white hair immediately identified Koneko, the only Rook in our peerage. The blue-haired woman must be Sona's Rook. I believe her name was Tsubasa? Well, it was something like that.
Regardless of names, the two of them clashed fists. Koneko began to push her back. In pure strength, it seems she has the upper hand. That isn't to say her adversary was any slouch in that category either, as she put up a commendable resistance to her force. Though with Koneko being trained by both Kuroka and me, she had an undoubted advantage.
With such a distinct disadvantage, the Rook of Sona's was forced to get more creative with her combat tactics than just charging forward, which seems to be one of Rooks's essential traits. Though, she clearly didn't have any hesitation in that regard from one look at her next moves.
The blue-headed Rook quickly dropped down, allowing Koneko's momentum to carry her forward, knocking her off balance. Taking advantage of this with an equally swift motion as her drop, her foot swept across the ground, knocking her opposition feet clear from stability, causing her to fall to the ground.
She then quickly shot her arm upwards in an uppercut, and a loud thud echoed from the two. Though it did connect, it wasn't the way she wanted. Koneko caught the fist within the palm of her hand before the blow could properly connect to her abdomen.
The blow launched her petite figure through the air, to which she landed back on the ground rather gracefully, assuming her fighting position quickly after landing. To my eyes, it seems as if they were almost even in this fight. Though it appeared Koneko wasn't using her Senjutsu, she's holding back.
Looking over to... Tsubasa, it was clear that she knew it as well. Her fists clenched unusually tight, even for a fight, and her teeth ground together with frustration. I can't say I blame her. It wouldn't feel like a victory to me either if I beat someone while they were holding back.
"Look what the cat dragged in." Kuroka's pleasant voice hit my ears.
Giving the Nekomata a glace, I could see her looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes at my appearance. Her head titled the side. However, my attention went back over to Koneko and Tsubasa, as I was interested in seeing how this would play out.
"I'd have to come out sooner or later," I spoke in a lighthearted manner.
"Oh? Aren't you suppose to be resting?"
My brow twitched slightly, and my body stiffened upon hearing Kuroka's now firm, almost sharp voice. Looking over to her now with full attention, I didn't see the same intrigue in her expression when I glanced previously. Instead, it was replaced with her standing much closer and looking up at me with furrowed eyebrows and a frown.
Initially, I assumed her earlier words were more playful banter, though looking back, I guess she did lacked her distinct cat noise when relaxed or being playful. I guess I was too distracted by the Rooks sparing just a small distance away. I doubt my nonchalant response helped in any way, either.
"Need I remind you how much damage you did to yourself with that stunt? Your not invincible, Issei."
"I know, but I'm not out here to train with them. I just wanted to see how there were doing, honest." I spoke in defense, raising my arms between the two of us with a gesture.
At my response, she crossed her arms and leaned in even closer. The pressure of her stare quickly intensified, her slightly squinted eyes looking me up and down like an inspector checking for contraband.
Though after a few more moments of this stare, she backed away from me, her lips slowly parting.
"...Alright," A hesitant response left her.
A faint smile graced me. To others, one might see her as controlling, but that's not what this is. She's concerned, just as Inanis said earlier. I'm entirely sure she just wants me to be careful with doing anything right now. Roles reversed, I'd be the same way.
"Thanks for understanding," I gratefully spoke, giving her a small nod as a symbol of gratitude.
"You would have insisted if I told you to go back to rest anyway. Always so stubborn," She responded, her voice carrying a complex tone.
Deep within, I could feel a slight sensation of nervousness welling up in her through our soul link. As one might expect, after everything that's happened recently, a decent bit was directed towards my well being. However, it seems like most of the rest was for another.
Looking in the same direction, I could see her gaze being fixated on Wynter, my familiar. With me being much closer, I can definitely see why she is so focused on her. Warping around Wynter seemed to be a white, almost misty like aura, and with the distance now closed, it was clear she was the one giving off that strange energy I felt earlier.
"What's going on with her?" I questioned. Though she didn't exactly answer my question, she asked me another.
"Do you remember what Touki is?"
"Uh... I remember the name. You told me it's a type of... Senjutsu," As those words left my mouth, I realized why Kuroka was holding that slight worry for her.
"That's correct. Those trained in Senjutsu can use Touki through controlling their base life; in other words, their own life-force. However, while it is rarer, there are those who have a natural talent in Touki specifically and don't need to be trained in Senjutsu to use the technique. If she really does have potential in this, it would result in a tremendous increase in her offensive, defensive and agility prowess," Kuroka explained.
Senjutsu, while granting several powers, also comes with considerable risk, one that ruined Kuroka's life just by being accused of falling to that very risk. It could allow the user to absorb all the malic and ill will that flows in the world; therefore, if an amateur uses it inappropriately, or at the wrong place and time, the malice could overwhelm and corrupt them.
Thankfully Kuroka never actually fell to such malice; she was not a mere novice in the art. Someone who has no experience like Wynter, however...
"Why did she try to do this all of a sudden? I don't remember her asking about it in the past, so why now?" I asked, now sharing her slight worry.
"Earlier today, shortly after I finished instructing my sister on the very subject on Senjutsu, she came up and asked to be trained in it as well. Initially, I was a little surprised and wasn't sure if she actually had any talent in the art or not. She said that any familiar that isn't useful to their master is a failure, so she had to get stronger. I'm not sure where that came from, but with such determination..."
Kuroka continued talking, though her voice slowly began to fade from my mind. No, more accurately, my mind blocked out the rest of what she was saying and chose to cling to one phrase.
"She said that any familiar that isn't useful to their master is a failure," Those words repeated in my head, and it felt like a thorn stabbed me. The twinge of guilt throbbing each time I heard it.
"You said familiars are supposed to serve their master, right?"
"I did, so let-"
"Then you can start by staying here where it's safe and keeping your mouth shut about anything you know. Protect the others while I'm gone. This shouldn't get out of hand, but..."
"But I-"
"That's an order!"
The memory of me yelling at her out of frustration for her insistence on helping me flashed through my head. My hands clenched by themselves in frustration, though not frustration at her or anyone else. It was the frustration and anger at myself.
'Does she think she's no use to me?' I mentally asked myself, sounding as if I spoke through gritted teeth.
The way she hung her head down, her ears lowering against her head, the tears that were gathering in her eyes, and the way I walked out without a care for it. It was all like thorns of regret slamming into me at once.
It makes me wonder. If I allowed her to go with me, how would it have played out? Would she have kept me from losing my cool? Would things have gone better? Though, it's too late to be considering that now. All it would bring is more regrets.
I swallowed the knot that built up in my throat, opening my mouth and forcing words out.
"Do you think she's at risk?" I worriedly asked the expert at my side.
There was a brief moment of silence that loomed over the air. Evident hesitation in thinking if she was at such a risk or not. Whether or not she picked up on my nervousness for the answer, I couldn't tell. The calm and nonchalant mask I usually wore had begun to crack, and considering our soul link, and how long she's known me, the possibility was high.
"There isn't any real malice in the area, so not here, no. However, she would be like a sponge with grime constantly soaking into her if she were to try and do it on a battlefield. At least, at her current state," Kuroka reasoned.
"I see... that's good," I exhaled in relief. My anxiousness began to fade slightly. Though there was no way I could completely relax, not after hearing that it is possible.
"She'll just have to practice before she can use it in combat," I continued, piecing back together the mask of calmness that I usually wore.
Throughout my intensive training, Inanis always reminded me to keep a clear mind, as the path to power can corrupt people, Senjutsu or not. To watch her take an even greater risk than one usually would, just so that she can be "more useful" to me. I can't help but blame myself for it.
Though as I was thinking about the guilt that was gradually welling up, my thoughts were abruptly interrupted. A small distance away, the sensation that weakly radiated off Wynter quickly surged, then just as quickly vanished as if it wasn't even there.
With my already poorly suppressed anxiousness about her having me in overdrive, this sensation caused my gaze to return back to Wynter, though it was more of a quick jerking motion of someone who assumed something went wrong.
She was no longer in her strained state of meditation. Rather, she was leaning forward with her hands propping her up from her knees, her breaths heavy and labored, now lacking the white misty aura that previously surrounded her.
"It's fine, Issei. She just put a little too much into it," comforting words left Kuroka's lips as she picked up on my reaction.
It's undoubted now that she could sense my feelings earlier with how quickly she tried to offer words of comfort. Even without that ability, the Rooks stopped their fighting from turning and looking at Wynter, so it's not like it was an unnatural reaction.
"Wynter, I told you already, your talent with this is very limited at best right now. You have to take it slow. You can't just do it," Kuroka put on a voice that somehow felt gentle yet stern at the same time. The voice of a studious teacher.
Wynter didn't respond; she simply tightened the grip she had on her knees in frustration. I don't know how long she's been at this, though judging by her reaction, it might have been a while.
"She's right. You have to take this slow," Without thinking, I tried to console her.
Wynter looked up abruptly at hearing my voice, and with widened eyes and surprise, she asked.
"Issei? How long were you here?"
"Long enough to know what's going on. How are you feeling?" I quickly changed the subject, moving it off me and over to her well being.
"I'm fine. I... I just need a moment... that's all," Her response had confidence leaving between each breath. Though, that confidence, it didn't sound too sure of itself.
"Since you're already checking on her, I'll tend to the others," Kuroka voiced.
Looking over my shoulder, I mouthed a "Thank you," to which she responded with a slight nod and a smile. I'm not sure how she knew I wanted to talk with Wynter alone; it was like she read my mind. Though I suppose now isn't the time to be questioning her perceptiveness.
"Anything feels off?" I asked, turning my attention back to the one in front of me.
"No, I'm fine. It's like she said, I just pushed a little too much," She responded, slowly catching her breath as she sat there.
I looked her over regardless of her response, making sure she was okay. I trusted her word, she's never lied to me before, but I wanted to be sure. She herself didn't put up any resistance to it, merely setting there and allowing me to look over her for any abnormalities or injuries.
After a few more moments of that, and now confident in my own checking that she was okay, I backed away. Perhaps it isn't within my right to worry for her after what they all had to endure because of me. Still, she's my familiar, and she's responsible for serving and protecting me, then it's my responsibility to make sure she's okay afterward.
"Don't push yourself too hard, okay. You're already strong enough as it is, and injuring yourself won't help you get stronger," I somewhat hypocritically said, seeing as I nearly got myself killed.
Upon hearing that, Wynter's body twitched slightly as it tensed at those words. Her hair hung down, covering her eyes, and her mouth began to open, only to shut closed before making a sound. Only after a few moments of that did she open her mouth to respond.
"...You're wrong," She simply spoke.
"What do you mean?"
Wynter's eyes slowly wandered over to Kuorka and the others, a distant gaze locked onto them as a bitter-sweet smile formed on her.
"Sorry, I know I'm not useless to you," She slowly began to speak, realizing that she served a purpose to me, even if I didn't allow her to accompany me to the battle.
"It's just... I don't have any magic like Rias and Akeno, I don't have speed like Kiba, and Koneko is already equal to me in strength, if not surpassing me. If I don't learn something else to keep going, then I will be outmatched in every regard,"
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to deny anything she said. Not because I couldn't find the words to, but because I'd be lying if I did. She knows what she's saying is true, and a lie like that wouldn't fool her. I've already lied enough as is.
"And after seeing you like that, I realized that if we don't seek our own strength, we would become reliant on you and be helpless in the face of real power when you're not around. So I don't have a choice; I have to get stronger. It's not just me. Everyone in Rias's peerage feels the same way, or they wouldn't have agreed to train like they are today," She continued, that bitter-sweet smile no longer present. Rather, there was now the gleam of determination shining bright in her eye.
"You ordered me to protect them, after all. So I'll get stronger so I can when you're not there,"
Looking at this glimmer, I can't help but feel that same admiration I felt earlier. This determination to self improve to not rely on another, rather be able to stand on your own and then aid the others around you.
A slow smile crept onto me. There isn't a single way I could try to convince her to stop with determination like that gleaming from her like a bright shining star. Even if there was, I don't want to. I want to see this star grow even more brilliant than it is now.
"I understand. Just be careful. You'll only slow yourself down if you damage your body," I, once again, hypocritically advised.
"Don't worry. I will. Besides, I have one of the best teachers possible. If you trust her, there's no way she's a bad person. I'll be in good hands," The faked confidence began to shatter, though it was replaced with the real thing.
A warm comfort began to replace the guilt in my heart, even if only releasing the burden a small bit. I gave myself a satisfied nod and lifted myself off the ground. My arm outstretched, I gave Wynter a hand, which she gladly took hold of, allowing me to pull her up with me.
"I'm going to go see how the others are doing. Make sure to take good care of them for me," I raised my voice slightly, giving Kuroka a heads up.
"Just leave it to me, nya," She responded, putting back on her little cat noise to hide her slight concern from the others.
I flashed her a warm smile, fully trusting in her capabilities. Though, there was one last thing I had to say before leaving for the next group.
"Wynter"
The Rook stopped from making her way over there and turned back to face me with slight confusion.
"Make sure to get plenty stronger, okay," I gave a smile, trying to provide her with one last push.
The air around her seemingly lit like a match, and she gave me a nod with that same sparkle of determination I looked up to so much. With that, she turned back around and continued on her way to the others, fully ready to try it again.
With some satisfaction that I might have relieved her to a degree, I lifted myself from my kneeling position on the ground. My gaze stayed on the group for a while, watching them discuss what they should be doing next in their training.
The guilt still clung heavy on my soul... and there's nothing that can be done to ease that, not entirely at least. Though with this sight, Kuroka mentoring the group to the best of her abilities, I can at least take some comfort knowing that they are in the most capable hands possible.
"I'm going to go and look for the other groups!" I shouted to the others, grabbing the attention shortly of those who were now a decent distance away.
"Alright, don't do anything reckless,"
I responded to Kuroka's words with a simple nod and set off in the direction of what I assumed to be magic-based explosions echoing from a distance around the large property.
Walking along the greenery, a whirlpool of emotions continued to brew, despite my best effort to suppress them. It does me no good to repeatedly worry about these mistakes, because I can't change the past. I will simply have to write over those mistakes with my future actions.
That's what I kept telling myself day in and day out. Even though I knew that it wasn't so simple to purge those feelings, especially when here and now, I'm slowly approaching the greatest fear that's been born of my actions. Perhaps this is a sort of punishment for that.
Interrupting my thoughts, a refreshing sight appeared before me. One that did not cause concern, rather quite the opposite. A pretty young girl with long blonde hair and green eyes. Her long hair flowed behind her as she jogged across the land.
Asia. The sight of a girl who seemingly forgives anyone, no matter the offense. The fact that she can do something so selfless as to forgive so easily is still a mystery to me. I'm sure she would forgive me for putting them through that, but I think most of them would, though it won't change anything. Forgiveness isn't what I want.
"Issei!" Her voice joyfully shouted, waving over to me.
I gave her a wave back, watching as she made her way over to me. Her steps were filled with an energetic movement, nearing a run over to me as she made no hesitation and her swift movements. She doesn't seem to be nearly as tired as I assumed she would be, so I guess running her ragged at the last training camp is showing its results.
"How are you feeling? Everything okay... or do you need me to heal you again?" She asked, most likely assuming that's why I'm out here. Not surprising after the instancy of the others.
Now that we're closer, I quickly examined her. She has a thin gleam of sweat across her skin, and her breaths were ever so slightly shallowed. However, it's a remarkable improvement compared to her previous state the last time she did this, being drenched in it and nearly out of breath every time I saw her. Guess that's what happens through training and fighting a former Cadre-Class Fallen Angel.
I shook my head to the sides.
"No, I'm just wanting to see how everyone is doing out here, is all. How are you, though? Do you need to rest yet?" I asked, just to be sure.
"No, I'll be fine for a bit longer. Are you sure you don't need any healing? Your soreness may be mostly gone now... but you still shouldn't strain yourself,"
Her concerns for me sparked a warm feeling in me, despite everything that has caused me to feel this guilt. Perhaps her affinity for dragons causes that as well, but then again, who wouldn't feel nice having a person like her caring for their well being.
"I'm fine. So long as I don't push myself, I will recover," I tried to assure her.
"Alright, just let me know if you need any healing, okay. I'll be glad to help any time," She once again gave me a warm smile that was irresistible.
Another magical explosion erupted within the air, grabbing our attention and interrupting our conversation. Though it was intense, this one seemed much weaker than the previous ones I heard.
'I know their training, but is it really necessary to destroy the yard? Then again, I guess for them, destroying a yard isn't a big deal. I heard Sona's group alone managed to repair the damage caused by Kokabiel and me,' I thought to myself.
"Rias and the other magic casters are over that direction, right?" I asked, just to confirm I was heading in the right direction, even if it was unneeded.
"Oh! Uh... That's right. I just finished checking how they're doing. They weren't training against each other, so they didn't need any healing from me,"
"Alright, thanks, and before I head over there, I know you said you were fine, but you should stop and get some water before you keep going,"
Initially, it looked like she was slightly surprised to hear me say that. I guess I did push her pretty hard at the first training camp, though it was only because she practically had no stamina to mention. She's a lot better now. Then again, that expression only lasted for a fraction of a second, so maybe it's just my imagination.
"Okay, I will," She gave a slight nod.
I was just about to continue walking towards Rias and the others, though I stopped short when one more thought popped into my head. I turned back to Asia, stopping her leave as I spoke once more.
"And can you check on Kuroka's group next? They're doing some strenuous stuff over there, so they might need you soon,"
"Of course, I was going over there next anyway," She gave me a nod.
I thanked her, giving her a wave as I continued on to my set destination.
Walking just a short distance further, the group entered my sight. Two girls stood in front, casting magic attacks into the field, while behind them stood four others side by side. The two in the front were recognized as Sona's peerage members, though the names managed to slip through my grasp.
Though, behind them were much more recognizable faces. Rias, Akeno, Sona, and Tsubaki, or Sona's Queen, stood having a conversation as they observed those in front of them. It makes sense why the blasts seem weaker to me now. Naturally, the Kings and Queen will make much more powerful attacks than the Bishops in their service.
As my eyes landed on Rias, a well of emotions began to surge again. Guilt, regret, and worry began to take place over all else. Though I can't act like this in front of everyone, so I force my mask to stay until it's safe to take it off again.
I haven't managed to apologize to my crimson-haired mate, and the two of us have been much less converse with each other since then. Those two things alone caused a dread that intensified the other feelings multiple times over.
As I closed the distance, I could see the four of them lined with a thin gleam of sweat, their clothes slightly darkened by the effort. They must be taking a break now after letting the Bishops observe how they do it, and now they can observe how much the bishops have learned from it.
"I'm surprised to see you out here considering how you tucked tail when Kuroka was grilling you," Sona smirked as she noticed me walking up to them.
I rolled my eyes at her remark, trying to ignore the memory of the less than dignified display I put on when she scolded me.
Though my gaze quickly returned over to them, landing on Rias and Akeno. We locked eyes in that brief moment, though Rias quickly diverted hers from mine, sparking those feelings in me to flare. Then nearly as swiftly as it flared, it only grew as my anxious thoughts to explain her actions began to grate on my guilt.
My brain began to wonder, trying to interpret what was going through hers. However, it didn't do me any good. Even the soul link felt like it was muddied with an overflow of mixed emotions. The only thing I could tell was that none of them seemingly felt hostile, or not openly anyway. All it helped me do was look like a fool staring at her in the silence. It makes me wonder how my link feels to her.
I looked back to the others, their faces lined with a sort of uncomfortable expression, the atmosphere around us now thickened to a level of awkwardness that anyone could feel it. Raising my hand, I cleared my throat and explained that she was okay with me being out here, so long as I didn't push myself, hoping that it would help dispel this tension.
It didn't work. Sona simply hummed in response, and the silence returned.
With such a simple response, it makes me wonder if she's upset with me as well. Rias is her friend, so she might be frustrated with me that I put them in that situation. She certainly would be less forgiving than the rest of them. Then again, maybe she just doesn't have anything to say. With pressure looming over like this, I wouldn't want to say much either.
Though with all of them wearing fake expressions, it makes it much harder to tell how they are genuinely feeling. Especially Akeno. She wore her usual smile like nothing has changed, though that wasn't the confusing part. Even my soul link with her seemed to be faked. It barely had any frustration in it towards me, unlike Rias's, who flooded with a mixture of feelings.
Either she found a way to fake it like I tried to do, or she isn't that upset with me. Though after everything that has happened, I'm much more inclined to believe the former.
A magic blast echoed from our side, causing the ground to tremor slightly in its presence. Thankfully, with nothing else to focus on, or rather, nothing anybody wanted to focus on, it shattered the tension in the air and gathered our attention to it.
The ones who created it were two standing in front of the blast. One was a white-haired girl with long hair, though not terribly long. The other was a slim girl with long brown hair that ended in two short braids. Both of them dressed in their school uniforms.
The magic explosion they produced was nothing impressive, even considering their ranks amongst the devils. It wasn't bad per se, but I do not doubt that either of these Queens next to me could make one as powerful singlehandedly, not to mention Rias or her magics' destructive nature.
Then again, I guess I haven't seen too many devil peerages to compare to them. Even our bishop can't pull that off, though her purpose is healing, not destructive power. Rias, Akeno, and I more than make up for that category.
"How are they doing?" I asked to get us talking about something, mentally thanking the two shooting magic.
"Well, they're more suited to defensive magic, so they need work. They are making progress, though." Sona responded.
"Why not give them some pointers? They're your bishops after all," I suggested, confused as to why she's just watching instead of helping. Though the first thing I was responded with was a quick glance with an irritated expression, she turned back to look at the two shortly after.
"My offensive magic is much more attuned to water manipulation, not what they are practicing now. I can give them pointers, but outside of that..." Sona slowly stopped her sentence, her face as expressionless and calm as ever.
It explains why she was irritated at my suggestion. From what I've seen, she has a bit of pride in her intelligence. She must have already thought of it and taken it as an insult to assume she hadn't thought of something so obvious.
This irritation of hers, it's something I can relate to as well. To be less skilled than your peers are when you're trying to help them; it certainly is frustrating.
Most of my peers outclass me in pure skill. I can teach both Akeno and Kiba how to get pure strength, but I lack in terms of technique with the sword, and especially so with magic. The only reason I could instruct Kiba earlier was that I've seen people fighting with a chivalric knight mentality in contracts I've taken before. They don't last long compared to their less than honor-bound counterparts.
After going through all those, I've developed my own technique, one suited explicitly to killing. Every strike with its style is intended to kill or severely injure. Though, even something like that can be hard to learn when you don't have someone to show you the basics. I'm sure there are still things I can learn about it.
The same things goes for when I helped Rias. The only reason I could give her some pointers is that she basically used no technique, opting just to launch globs of destructive energy. In its own way, it's an effective tactic, so long as you can easily overwhelm your opponent.
The only person I can truly keep up with, or surpass in skill is Koneko and Wynter since we all fight with our fists quite often.
Hell, if Rias has the same potential as her brother, she'll kick my ass one day. I've never once gotten close to beating him, and he's never taken me seriously on top of that. Even though he uses his "True Form," he never fought me seriously, more accurately treating me as a child with a lot of power than an actual threat. Even if he says he has to spare my pride, the fact that I'm even alive afterward is proof enough that he's lying to me.
With my thoughts running through my head, it seems as if Sona had her own going through her as well. The appearance of a metaphoric light bulb lighting up above her quickly took to her.
"Would you two mind helping them? You're much more experienced with the magic they're using than I am, so you'd be more helpful to them than I would," Sona asked, though the last park came out a little begrudgingly, her pride slowing her request for aid.
"Of course, It's the least I can do after the help you put in with Kokabiel," Rias spoke without hesitation, most likely thanking her friend for giving her something to do besides sit in this palpable atmosphere.
The two of them left, walking over to the two interrupting them as they were about to charge another attack. It was easy to hear them with my superior hearing, even if I had no real interest in their conversation. It was nothing to note anyway, merely training advice as one would expect.
Still, it was interesting to see Rias and Akeno both take the trainer role so effortlessly. However, I shouldn't be surprised. This group was stronger than most fallen angels I've encountered before falling in line with them. Rias most likely has a considerable amount of experience in training the others before I ever came.
Though my attention on them only lasted a few moments, as it was quickly interrupted by the voice of another behind me.
"I see you haven't made up with her yet. When are you going to?"
The familiar voice of Sona struck my ears, and my shoulders tensed. A sort of dread welled up inside of my gut like dead weight pulling down on me. Though it only increased when a realization hit me.
"S-so, this is why you asked them to help you, Bishops. Isn't it?"
"Your more perceptive than you look,"
Maybe it was just my state of mind, but the voice that left her lip sounded cold as ice. It certainly felt like it when the words sent a chill down my spine.
It was easy to tell that I haven't made up with her. Anyone could have sensed that tenseness in the air. Though the part that gave me the impression of ice was something else. Did she just come up with the idea to send them as an excuse to get us alone like this? Did she just come up with it? Or did she plan it as soon as she saw me, just acting like to have the idea then?
Regardless of the answer, I can see why she prides herself on intelligence. It's something I wouldn't have thought to do. Then again, when you're able to brute force through with raw strength, you don't have to exercise your mental strategies very much. So I guess the bar isn't very high.
I continue facing the two helping the Bishops, avoiding the eyes that are piercing the back of my head.
"I guess, even with that icy voice, you really do care about your friends, huh?" My already damaged mask began to fracture even more, even with me suppressing the feelings welling up.
"I wouldn't think this is the time for jokes," Sona spoke.
My eyebrows knitted together in a grimace. I mentally punched myself for saying something so stupid. My words could have quickly been taken as non-caring about the situation. If Sona interpreted it like that, then it could make things far worse.
"...Yeah... I know,"
"Then why haven't you apologized to them yet?"
As she pushed further, I could feel my legs tense by the second. I swallowed hard, trying to suppress the urge to get away from this conversation. Though running was never my strong suit, so my tensed legs wouldn't budge.
In reality, I would like to apologize, and I know that it's what I should do, but even now, I can't bring myself to say it. Even if their forgiveness isn't what I'm seeking, the fear that any of my mates could begin to despise me for something I did hit's my heart like a nail clanging against the metal of a hammer.
Throughout those thoughts, the realization that I've just been standing there thinking to myself, without responding to Sona. How is she interpreting my silence? Is she angry at me as well, or is she trying to help me? I don't like others getting in my business, but I'm not so dense as to reject her trying to help me. I took a deep breath, ignoring the guilt and reluctance.
"I... I want to... I just don't know how I could apologize for something like that,"
If it were just that I lied to her, it wouldn't be that bad, but I put everyone in peril. I put Sona, Rias, and their peerages, along with everyone else who showed up in the direct path of danger. If they didn't intervene, I could have even... I swallowed the knot forming in my throat, stopping my thoughts there. I didn't even want to imagine that scenario.
"Yeah, what you did was reckless, not to mention dangerous," She nodded.
Her words hurt more than they did anything else, confirming what I was already thinking. However, I didn't have long to think any longer before Sona began talking again.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about, though,"
A moment of pause lasted, and a flame of anger began to smolder.
'How the hell don't I have anything to worry about? Does she not understand this at all?'
Those thoughts began racing through my mind as that smolder began to morph into something more. My mouth began to move to snap back, though stopped as a new perspective came to me.
'...or does she know something more than I do? She clearly cares about it to some degree, or she wouldn't have asked,'
With the realization that she may just be trying to help me, I changed quickly from intending to snap back to asking a question.
"What do you mean?"
"The two of us used to talk about a lot of, well, things. This being no exception. I'm not sure she's actually mad at you, or not for the reasons you may think. I'm not sure how to explain it, but..."
The confusion she instilled in me only grew as she tried to explain why, though it makes me wonder if she's right about that. It may be too complicated to explain what she knows. With the way Rias's soul link feels, it would make sense with how mixed it is.
"It may be imprudent of me to speak on such a matter, but I don't think you have anything to worry about either," Sona's Queen finally opened her mouth, voicing her own opinion.
"Why do you say that?" I asked, glancing over to the Queen, who was silent until now. Curious about what reasons she could have to back Sona's opinion besides blind loyalty.
She glanced at her master for a brief moment, making eye contact as a way of asking for permission to explain. Sona gave her a small nod, perhaps thinking she may be able to explain it better than she could. Once she got the permission she was seeking, she turned her attention back to me.
"After you were taken to a safe place to recover, Rias, her peerage and brother, as well as Sona and I, questioned those who were aiding you, as well as your familiar. They told us everything they could, including about how the reason you left the others out of it was for their own protection. I don't know her as well as my master, but when she heard that, it almost looked as if she was relieved to a certain degree," She concluded.
Sona nodded, picking up where the Queen left.
"Their explanation did calm her quite a bit. I can't say for sure, but I don't believe she's very upset with you. I think she was too concerned about you to be angered," Sona tried to explain, having much more ease after her Queen laid the groundwork for her.
My stiffness lessened slightly as she paused, and it felt as if a small weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Even if it isn't much, that small reprieve felt like a grace sent by god. Though I doubt he would send a Demonic Dragon one. Much less so considering what the others told me about his fate. However, my thoughts were once again interrupted as Sona continued.
"Emphasis on the very. She's likely still upset about it to some degree, at least. Though, not nearly as pissed about the fact that you nearly killed yourself. Seriously, after seeing the state that you were in, you were the one at the most risk, aside from the other dragon emperor," She scoffed.
"No surprise there,"
If it weren't for the fact that I was a dragon devil hybrid, I would have died without question. Dragons and devils both are near-immortal, giving me a massive amount of life force to spare, not to mention the durability of my physical body.
Kiba also told me a few things about what happened while I was in the Juggernaut Drive. Apparently, according to Sirzechs and Ajuka and the White Dragon Emperor, a strange power was replacing my own. It boosted my strength to abnormal levels, even for the Juggernaut Drive, which caused most of my damage. However, I wasn't given many details yet. Not necessarily because he wouldn't tell me, but because he didn't have much information to share.
"So are you going to go talk to her? Every conversation between the two of you recently has been so formal that it's becoming painful to see,"
.
.
.
"I just-"
"She ignored the fact that you disobeyed her as well as the danger you brought with your actions, at least for the most part. Those two were worried sick while you were out cold. They cared for you every day, and you can't even go over there to apologize for the trouble?" Sona interrupted me, hitting me with words that stung worse than any pain I had self-inflicted.
My body tensed, and my teeth ground together.
I can face Sirzechs without flinching. Even more recently, I encountered a power that was so far beyond me that it wasn't even a gap, a mountain with no peak, a summit so high that it was unseeable. Yet that paled in comparison to the fear of losing any of those three.
Before any more thoughts could travel through me, or any more berating from the woman at my side, another explosion echoed from the destroyed field. To which, after a satisfied nod, the two helping Sona's peerage members began to stride back, ending our conversation in its tracks.
Watching them, only one thought would register in my mind.
She's right.
No matter how much I wanted to avoid this, things wouldn't return to normal. The longer I wait, the worse it would most likely get. I have to say something, even if it blows up in my face.
Even if I didn't consider that. With this new being showing up and attacking me out of nowhere... if they do have the intent to kill me, there's nothing I could do against them. Who knows how much time I'd have if that is reality. I can't let it end on this note.
I swallowed hard, mustering all the courage I could manage to try and smash the doubts that stirred, no matter how futile. Before the two of them had time to say anything, I opened my mouth to speak.
"Can I speak with the two of you in private?"
The two turned their attention to me, Rias's head tilted slightly with confusion, though her expression itself didn't budge. I couldn't begin to guess her thoughts, though I'm not sure I wanted to either.
Though it was clear, she was thinking something, and after a few moments, her mouth began to move.
"Uh, sure. You don't mind, do you?"
"Of course not,"
Contrary to Akeno, uncertainty filled Rias's words.
"Before you go, thank you for helping those two. I can take it from here," Sona gave Rias thanks before making her way over to those they were just helping.
"It was my pleasure,"
Rias turned her attention back to me after Sona left to her peerage members. Though over her shoulder, I could see her eye's looking back at us. A reminder of what she said echoed through me, and I steeled myself for whatever was about to happen.
I gave them a gesture to follow me before turning and walking. I didn't need to turn around to hear them following shortly.
Though we've only been walking a short time, we were already out of sight from the others. Yet with every dragged step, it felt as if time was slowing down, and all the sounds around us began to disappear, leaving only the pounding of my heart echoing in my ears, like a powerful drum marching into war.
With the shadow of the manor blocking out the sun and no sight of the others being able to see us, I stopped.
"So... what did you want to talk about?" Rias's voice hit my ears.
I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes. With my eyes still shut tight, I quickly turned to face them and immediately gave a deep bow. With my hair hanging down to the ground, I apologized.
For lying and hunting down Kokabiel even though I said I wouldn't. For forcing them into such danger with my actions. For not being able to do this until now. I poured out everything I could into this. Every little thing that caused them pain and trouble, nothing being left out.
After I went through every little thing I could think of, nothing happened. I couldn't see their reactions with my eyes shut, but there wasn't even a sound. There wasn't even the sound of the breeze with the manor blocking it: nothing but the deadness of the stagnant air.
With my eyes shut tight in a pained expression and the lack of sound, my mind was freely able to roam the worst possible endings to this. Rias outbursting in an explosive reaction for nearly getting her and her peerage killed. I had run the gambit of soaking my own fang and claws in their very blood, the blood of my second family. There's no other appropriate reaction to something like that. The worst possible punishment was surely coming.
My hands clenched to my clothing, my knuckles turning white as I slowly opened my eyes, expecting the pressure of a raging volcano to release at any moment. My vision was filled with the grass and dirt of the earth beneath us, as expected from my deep bow, practically prostrating myself to her.
Yet, the rage I was expecting didn't come, no matter how long I seemed to wait. Nothing changed in the air or my vision. It was so still it was almost eerie. Slowly, I opened my eyes.
My vision was filled with the dirt and grass of the earth beneath us, as expected from my current position. Though after a few more moments, that scene began to change. A pair of legs started to walk towards me. Her smooth skin like silk made it apparent who it was.
I closed my eyes once more, tensing my face and bracing to get hit. Yet, something else I never expected happened. I was lifted from my bowed position, and a warm feeling enveloped me. Even the emotions in her soul linked seemed to clear up compared to the earlier muddied state they were in.
My mouth fell agape, and my eyes widened. No longer was my vision filled with the dirt and grass, something much more beautiful filled it.
Crimson, the color of blood, or maybe, something else.
The color that gave me a second family, the color that gave me a second chance at life as a child, leading me to meet Kuroka, and reunite with Akeno. It was no longer the color of blood to me. It was warm and soothing. The tension gathered throughout my body began to melt away, and it felt as if all my problems began to vanish at that moment.
Looking down, past the crimson color to clouded me, I could see Rias pressing herself onto me. Her face wasn't visible under all her hair and the non-existent distance between her and me. I could feel her arms tightening around me, a feeling that just a few days ago would have caused a sore pain if not for Asia.
"idiot..." A weak voice came out beneath the crimson hair.
Hearing her voice, what little mask left shattered into fragments.
My face softened from its tense former self, my parted mouth turning to a slow smile. I couldn't resist her warmth, and my arms began to move on their own, wrapping around her and squeezing tight, never wanting to let go.
All the binds that held my stress, anxiousness, worry, all of them snapped with her embrace. Though not a single tear fell, I could feel my eyes glossing over as they filled with water, waiting to break open like a flood gate.
"... I was so worried about you. You nearly killed yourself... you idiot,"
"I... I know... I'm so sorry,"
My concept of time was utterly destroyed. I don't know how long we stood like that, nor do I care, though it felt as if it was an eternity. One that I didn't want to end. Though eventually, it would have to.
She slowly pushed herself away, not removing herself entirely from our embrace, but enough to look up to me. Her cheeks were flushed red, a gleam of tear streams clear.
"I was so relieved when you woke up. I-I was so scared you never would," She began to choke on her words as her hands began to clench to my shirt.
I was so glad to hear her saying these things, the exact opposite of what was repeating in my head like a broken record. However, there was a part of me still curious about something. Something I needed to be answered for my own sake.
"Are... are you really not mad? After everything I did, are you not the slightest bit angry?"
It was inconceivable that she wouldn't be. Maybe it was just how I thought, but the idea that someone could do that and still not be mad at them was beyond strange. Though it seemed, I wasn't the only one who understood that.
She paused for a moment, a confliction lighting in her eyes. She opened her mouth a few times, only to close it back, seemingly at a loss for words. Though, eventually, it seems she decided on what to say.
"Of course, I was. I was furious at first. You lied to me, to both of us, and everyone was put at the risk of death... Though, after learning your reasons, and seeing the effort you put in to keep us as safe as possible... just promise you won't ever put yourself through something like that alone again,"
All I could do was smile at her response. There was nothing better I could ask to hear leave her lips.
"Of course, I promise,"
Though a large part of my worry was relieved by hearing her, it was still there. Because she wasn't the only person I lied to a wronged, there was another near that I had to apologize to as well. I looked up, and my eyes met with the person who's been standing quietly behind us this entire time. Her smile hasn't changed in the slightest. Letting go of Rias, I walked over to her and gave her a bow as well.
"I hope you know this all goes for you as well, Akeno. I hope you aren't upset, and please, let me make it up too you if you are,"
The bow was no different than before. It was deep and earnest, filling my vision with the earth beneath us. When I arrived at the scene, she had been severely injured because I failed to minimize the damage. I couldn't forgive myself for letting her get hurt like that a second time, so I have to apologize to her as well.
Unlike Rias, who's soul link was clearly fogged with mixed emotions and conflictions, Akeno's hasn't changed in the slightest. I had no clue how she would react to this, whether it be the way I expected Rias to, or calmly as her soul link would depict.
"Please, there's no need for that. Our master has forgiven you, so let's leave it at that,"
I couldn't see her face, but her voice didn't change.
"Are you serious? You got hurt because of me, so I have to apologize no matter what. Are you really okay with this?" I asked her, looking up to see her face.
"The only thing I'm upset about is you injuring yourself so severely. I understand why Rias was, of course, but I can't be mad for the same reasons she was. It would be hypocritical if I were,"
"What do you mean?"
She paused for a moment, her smile fading. Then another, bitter-sweet smile remerged on her features. However, something about it was off. It looked innocent enough, and yet it gave off such a chilling feeling. With a hand on her cheek, a gleam lit in her eyes.
"Deep down, I'm glad about what you did. The bastard got what he had coming to him. My only regret was that I wasn't awake to witness him writhing in agony,"
My body went completely still, and all both Rias and I could do was stare at her in a daze. That gleam in her eyes was her sadistic nature, though there was more to it than just that now. Usually, her sadism only satisfied a sexual desire to dominate or be dominated, though this was something else entirely.
Murderous intent. This sadistic spark wasn't something to satisfy a sexual desire. It was the pure wanting to see something in agony for no other reason than to see it in immense pain and suffering. I felt the same way during the events, though to see it from the outside, on something as beautiful as Akeno, no less.
Though, this feeling vanished just as quickly as it appeared.
"Though, none of that matters now. All that matters is that we're all safe. I just hope our families can rest easier knowing she's had vengeance,"
"Yeah, I hope so too,"
"Though you really should be more careful, you know. Rias really was worrying sick about you. You had her bawling like a baby,"
"Akeno!" Rias shouted from behind me, her cheeks puffed up in a pout. Adorable. Akeno only laughed to herself at Rias's fluster. The two of them continued, bickering playfully as real friends.
With that, the last bands that held the negative emotions trapped snapped. A few small tears managed to leak through the gates, though not tears of sadness or grief. Rather, tears of joy. The joy of being truly blessed with those three, and everyone else in this peerage too.
Rias turned back to me from her playful quarrel with Akeno, a tender smile gracing her beautiful features. Her arm outstretched to me, her hand spread, reaching towards me.
"Let's go, Issei. The knights won't evaluate themselves,"
With one hand, I reach to my face, pressing the palm into my eyes and cheeks to wipe away the water. With the other, I reached out to her in return.
"Yeah, let's go,"
I could feel her fingers gently wrapping through mine, the warmth of her smooth skin-soothing my hardened, callused hands.
"Don't forget about little oh me," Akeno's voice hit my ears shortly after, followed by her skin rubbing against my own. Her arms wrapped around my own.
I gave them both a gentle smile and followed their lead.
Our walk takes us to the training ground where the knights spared with one another, steel clashing on steel.
The two of them have let go of me on our walk to avoid distracting or coming off as unseemly to the focused training members, both new and old. Though it didn't seem Rias or Akeno minded, there are new members here, and even if I didn't get along with them, I understood how distractions during training could be annoying.
Looking at them, the two knights were polar opposites in terms of how they fought. Xenovia, welding a heavy blade made by Kiba's sacred gear, focused on raw strength in power, not un-similar to myself in that regard. Whereas her opponent, Kiba, lacked in power, he made up in speed and battle sense. His strikes were quick a deftly.
As for the other two, the hatchling Saji and Sona's other Pawn, a short girl with brown hair in long twin ponytails, Ruruko Nimura, went at it. Locked in hand to hand combat, it doesn't appear either is using any special abilities or sacred gears, a good sign.
Generally, training while using things that increase your power only acts as hindrances to your progress. For raw ability, such as endurance, speed, or strength, it's better to train your base body rather than that specific skill. There are always exceptions, like if you're trying to improve your skills with a particular item, ability, or technique you have.
Though Sona's Pawns are secondary to the original reason, I was taken here. Our focus should lie on our members rather than someone else's.
Looking back over to the Knights, I could see them at a standstill. Each one wary of the other, taking different positions according to their opponent's strengths and weakness. Though neither of them seemed scared of the other, Kiba's sword was shaking.
Narrowing my eyes and looking closer to his hands, I could see the cause—his hands were red and purple from bruising. He was in evident pain, and yet he didn't stop. Asia told me that he's been pushing himself harder than usual, and naturally, I told him hurting himself would only slow him down. It's foolish to hurt yourself training, though I can say that because I know it from experience.
Though, in its own right, it's admirable. It's the same as it was when I saw Wynter pushing herself. I could also see the determination in his eyes with those damaged hands and his sweat lining his skin. It's easy to see how hard those two have been working themselves to never be helpless like that again.
Though in this case, I can't help but feel bad for them. Their working so hard, pushing themselves to the limits when they should take this time to rest, all because of my actions. Though just earlier, there was something else as well. I felt jealousy and bitterness as I watched them train. With my one goal reached, I had nothing left to do, whereas they were training for a purpose.
Though now, I know that's different.
Looking over from behind her, my eyes landed on the two beauties before me—one with deep black hair, and another with a radiant crimson. Not only them, Kuroka as well, and everyone else in their peerage. They were my reasons to get stronger, to continue pushing myself as well.
No matter what happened in the past, I have to protect what I have now. Kuroka, Akeno, Rias, this peerage. My family. I will repay this kindness to them with my own actions and devotion, one that can cover over this blemish, no matter how long it takes.
Though, no matter how hard Issei tries. Peace is never permanent.
Life always finds a way to disrupt the wishes of those they reside in its grip. Whether it is higher-ups making a decision or a being of unfathomable power showing themselves. Life always finds a way to change other's plans.
Well, I finally got around to doing another chapter. Hopefully, delays this long won't be a trend I follow up on, but to be honest, I don't like writing emotional things, so I just kept putting it off and off again. With this over, hopefully, I can get back into a more regular schedule of doing this.
Also, it's a little late, but Merry Christmas. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, with whatever holiday you all celebrated this time of year.
This chapter was definitely less packed with action than others, so I hope you all enjoy it. Once again, I want to thank everyone who reads this for taking time from their day to do so.