A/N: Thanks for your reviews!

Chapter 9

"We can start packing," Castle announced the next morning. "Sheila came through and we got our reservations."

"That's nice," Kate said; her tone uninterested as she carefully measured out a dose of infant Tylenol for McKenzie.

"I expected more enthusiasm," he remarked as he moved closer to the highchair that their fussy daughter was strapped into.

"I don't really care about Vermont at the moment," she said as she carefully squeezed the dropper of Tylenol into her baby's mouth. "McKenzie's teeth hurt."

"I don't know why you don't give her the teething tablets," Castle remarked.

"Two reasons; one, I threw them out…"

"Why!?" he exclaimed. "I use them for her."

"Yeah; that's why I threw them out because I don't want anyone giving them to her as I've told you before," Kate replied. "I've read about them, there's too much conflict in reports about whether they're safe or not and I don't trust them. They also make her sleep a lot and I don't like that; it makes me nervous. Besides; she has a low grade fever; she needs Tylenol."

"Her temperature is ninety-nine; that's hardly a fever, Kate. Slight elevation during teething is normal."

"It's above normal and she's hurting so I gave her the Tylenol. That's what I'm supposed to do."

"The teething tablets would've been fine; if there was something wrong with them, they wouldn't be on the market. I'm sure if you look around online enough you'll see people saying Infant Tylenol isn't safe."

"I don't care; I was given Tylenol as a baby and I'm still alive and that's all I need to know about it," Kate replied. "Besides, the doctor said Tylenol and so did my mom."

"Oh well, if Johanna said it it must be law," he said sarcastically.

"Don't start," Kate sighed. "I don't want her having those teething tablets; they're not regulated like other medications."

"Fine; but she'll end up immune to Tylenol."

"We don't give it to her every day!" she exclaimed. "I'm her mother; I know what's best for her!"

"I'm her father and I already had a kid so I think maybe I know something about what's best for her too."

"I'm not budging on the teething tablets, Rick," she stated as she moved to the fridge to get the baby's teething ring. "In my opinion they're nothing but damn knock out drops for babies and no one's knocking my baby out; not even her father."

"They are not knock out drops; they just ease the pain and relax her."

"Too much in my opinion; now the subject is closed."

Castle blew out a breath and undid the buckles of the highchair to lift McKenzie out of her seat. "Mama," their daughter sniffled, looking in Kate's direction.

"Daddy's got you," Castle told her.

"Mama," she said; her arms reaching for her mother as Kate neared them.

"Mommy's here, sweetheart," Kate said as she took her daughter into her arms and gave her the teething ring; guiding it to her lips so she'd bite down on it. "Chew on that for a little while; it should help," she said gently to her as she moved to the sofa and sat down with her; keeping her cuddled against her.

Castle sighed a little as he watched his daughter snuggle into her mother, chewing on her teething ring for all it was worth. She always seemed to want Kate when she needed comfort…and while he knew it was probably natural; he was used to being the person who doled out comfort. After all, he had comforted Alexis very well all through her childhood.

Kate glanced at her suddenly silent husband and could read the thoughts on his face…the ones they had been over a hundred times before. "It's not that she didn't want you, Castle; babies just want their mommy when they don't feel well. You know she loves you and wants you…every time you're in the office with the door closed, she crawls over there and smacks her hands against it yelling 'dada'…that should prove something, shouldn't it?"

"Yeah; I guess so," he replied; knowing that he was acting jealous once again and that it was difficult not be.

"She doesn't feel good so she wants me," his wife stated.

It seemed like McKenzie always wanted her no matter how she was feeling but it wasn't worth the argument to say so. "Anyway; we've got our reservations. I also rented an SUV for us to drive up there so we'll have more room for everything we need to pack. It'll be here this afternoon. If we get packed fast enough; we could head on up there sometime tomorrow."

Kate frowned a little as she adjusted her hold on the baby. "Maybe we shouldn't go; McKenzie doesn't feel well."

"She's not sick, she's only teething," he remarked. "She can do that anywhere…besides, you know how it is, she's fussy one day; fine the next…it comes and goes. She might be fussy today and fine the rest of the week. It won't matter where we are."

"Yeah; but what if she's coming down with something? Her doctor is here."

"She's not getting sick; she's just teething. On the very unlikely chance that she'd be sick, they have doctors in Vermont. Why are you trying to bail on this?"

"I just think we rushed into it without really thinking about it," Kate replied. "I know you want a white Christmas. I know you want a family Christmas and a vacation for us…but Martha isn't coming so we're not going to have a sitter for McKenzie when we want to go skiing or out to dinner."

"Alexis will watch her," Castle said confidently.

"And if Alexis has her own plans?" Kate asked.

"The resort has daycare," he said with a smile.

"Absolutely not," she replied. "I'm not handing my baby over to strangers!"

He laughed. "Kate, this is a very exclusive resort. They don't just let anyone work there; everyone is vetted; drug tests, background check; the works."

"Yeah; well it's not done by me and I'm not handing my baby over to people I don't know. Family and close friends only."

"She'll be among strangers when she starts school."

"School is different. McKenzie isn't going to daycare. I wasn't put in daycare and neither will my child. Too much abuse and too many accidents happen at daycare. No."

Castle eyed her. "So you never spent a single day of your childhood at daycare despite the fact that both of your parents had full time jobs?"

"No, I didn't. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I was with Naomi McKenzie and Tuesdays and Thursdays I was with Elizabeth Beckett."

"And they were available every single occasion your parents needed someone, even when it was just going out to dinner? What if one of your grandmothers was sick?"

"Then my aunt Valerie watched me," Kate replied. "Aunt Valerie usually watched me on my parents date nights too; I liked that, I got to spend the night with my cousins and Uncle Frankie would get us pizza."

Castle gave her a tight lipped smile; this wasn't going the way he had hoped. "You never had a teenaged babysitter?"

"Of course; my cousin Angie when she was old enough. I was about four or five then…as a matter of fact; I think she watched me sometimes when Mom was teaching her first law class because Dad was traveling a lot then."

"So you're seriously telling me that you were never watched by someone who wasn't blood related?" her husband asked.

"No; I'm not saying that at all. I mean I did have playdates with Jeff and Maggie's and kids and Mom didn't always stay; she'd drop me off and run some errands…she trusted Maggie to take care of me while she was gone…same with Sharon. When my Spanish homework got to more complicated levels, I'd go home with the kids of my parents colleague, Antonio; he and his wife Isabel are from Argentina and Isabel helped me get the hang of more complicated phrases. When I was a teenager, I babysat for my Mom's colleagues and they'd bring me home. So, no, all the people I was in contact with weren't blood related but they were people my parents knew for years and trusted."

"You were never watched by a neighbor?"

"No. I played with the kids in my neighborhood but I was never babysat by one of their parents. I was never in daycare. When I started school; my mother or one of my grandparents picked me up. If I was sick, my mother stayed home with me or I was with one of my grandmothers. During summer breaks, I was back to my grandmothers or at my aunt's house. My parents didn't believe in handing me over to strangers."

"That's nice if you have that luxury; but some of us mere mortals sometimes had to depend on neighbors or the occasional usage of daycare," Castle stated.

"It's not a dig at you, Castle. I know you didn't have the circle of people for Alexis that my parents had for me; but now that you have a child with me, we do have a large circle of family who I feel safe leaving our child with. Valerie's told me a hundred times if Mom wouldn't be able to watch McKenzie for some reason, she'd be more than happy to have her; she watches Greg's kids anyway and McKenzie would be more than welcome…so we have a back up if we need one; and I'm sure one day I will have to call Valerie because Mom might be sick or something and I'll feel at ease leaving my baby with my aunt because I know she'll take good care of her just like she always took care of me when I was under her roof."

"That's all well and good," he replied; "But we can't always take a babysitter on vacation with us, Kate. What are we supposed to do?"

Her brow arched. "When McKenzie is with us, it's a family vacation and therefore she will go everywhere with us. If it's a vacation just for you and I; she will be here with one of her grandmothers…or both of them if they need to tag team it due to work obligations. I'm even willing to leave her with her sister if Alexis is up to the task. I'm a cop, Castle; I've seen too much to be willing to put my baby in the hands of strangers when we have family and friends that we trust and who love her and would never cause her harm."

He blew out a breath; perhaps this discussion was best left to another time. He remained silent as McKenzie fussed for a moment until Kate repositioned her against her shoulder and draped the baby's favorite blanket over her as she rubbed her back. "It's kind of early for her to take a nap," he remarked.

"She's been up since five, Rick."

"Was it five? I fully admit the clock looked hazy when I cracked my eyes open to look at it. I thought it was six."

"No; it was 5:16 when she cried. I almost tripped over Martha getting in the room…she must've been sleeping lightly to hear her as quickly as she did; she usually sleeps through it unless she gets very loud."

"She probably can't sleep with her excitement about Phoenix," Castle said with a touch of sarcasm in his voice. "She didn't waste any time in getting out of here this morning."

"She has some things to get in order," his wife replied. "She'll be back later; she told me so. Ease up on her."

"I told her I hoped she had a nice time," he remarked.

She gave him a knowing smile. "But you didn't mean it."

"Dada," McKenzie mumbled as she curled her hand into Kate's shirt.

"Sit down with us so she can see you," Kate told him. "She wants to know we're both here."

Castle sat down next to them on the sofa; catching the teething ring as McKenzie dropped it and running his opposite hand over her dark hair. "Daddy's here, jellybean; go ahead and go to sleep…I didn't realize you were up so early. Daddy can't read the clock right when he's sleepy."

His daughter stared at him, her green eyes tired and fighting to stay open, but eventually her tiny eyelids closed and he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "She's out," he murmured. "Do you want me to take her upstairs for you?"

"No, I'll hold her for awhile longer."

"Kate," he sighed.

"She doesn't feel well," she snapped. "I'm going to hold her and make sure she's down and then I'll put her in the playpen so I can keep an eye on her."

"She'll be fine in her crib."

Kate's gaze met his and held. "Why do you have to do that?"

"Do what?" Castle asked.

"Act like any decision I make as a mother isn't good enough. You act like I know nothing…"

"Well you are the one who said you had no real experience tending a baby," he stated.

"Just because I didn't babysit a ton of infants doesn't mean that everything I do is wrong just because I don't follow your playbook."

"No, it doesn't…but I do think you're wrong to sit and hold her for ten minutes after she goes to sleep and spare me the 'but my mother did it and I'm fine' speech. McKenzie's going to be so attached to you that she's not going to want out of your sight. It's going to be a sequel of you and Johanna and I don't think that's good for either one of you. That's why McKenzie only wants you for comfort; because she knows you'll sit and hold her all day if that's what she wants."

"You're damn right I will," Kate retorted. "I'm her mother; we're supposed to have a close bond. I'm supposed to be the one she wants when she needs comfort; that's just nature and instinct. I'm not Meredith and this baby isn't Alexis; I'm not just going to do it your way so you can feel superior and feel like you're the favored parent. It's not a competition, Castle."

"It's not like that!"

"I think it is."

"Well you're wrong," he stated. "But at least Meredith would've trusted me about which medications were safe to use."

"It's too bad you couldn't trust her to keep her legs shut," Kate replied. "If she had you might still be married to her and have other perfectly raised children that are up to your standards."

Castle got to his feet, agitation thrumming in his body. "All I'm ever trying to say is that I have the experience that you don't; so just maybe you could take my word over Saint Johanna's once in awhile."

"What does my mother have to do with me holding my baby?" Kate asked. "She didn't tell me to hold her after she went to sleep; it's something I do because it feels right to me not because someone told me to do it. As for experience, how am I supposed to gain any when you just want me to follow your word like it's the law? We're different people, Castle; we do things differently. I'm not harming McKenzie with any choice I make. You're just used to being the one who gets to make all the decisions and now it's not that way anymore and you can't stand it…well you're going to have to get used to it because if it's something I feel strongly about, I'll do it my way and I don't care who agrees with it or not! Just because I'm a first time mother doesn't mean that I'm stupid."

"I never said you were."

"No, you just act like it."

He breathed deeply. "I'm sorry, okay? I have strong convictions about how to raise a child…since I have actually raised one and she turned out pretty well."

"I have strong convictions too," Kate replied; "And instead of you rushing to judge everything I do in regard to McKenzie; why don't you just wait and see if I ask you what I should do about something…because those are the moments when I want to know. If I don't ask, then let me do it my way when I'm the one tending to her."

"I'm not going to keep having this argument with you."

"I'm not the one who keeps starting it. Something has to change here," she remarked. "Because all we do lately is fight. Let's put Vermont on hold until the New Year and just the two of us go. My parents will probably still be at the cabin but we could drop McKenzie off to them on the way."

"I just got the goddamn reservations, Kate; I'm not changing them and I already told you I'm not going on a trip that was your father's idea instead of yours!"

"Fine," she said as she rose from the couch to place McKenzie in the playpen. "If you don't want a few days alone with me that's perfectly fine. We can just implode; it'll be a nice way to start the New Year. Now as for our happy family trip to Vermont for Christmas; have you discussed it with Alexis? Because she hasn't been around."

"I sent her a text once the reservation was confirmed; she hasn't responded yet but she will," he said confidently. "I'm sure she'll be happy with the idea unlike some people."

"I hope she is," she replied. "I'll go start packing…and please leave McKenzie in the playpen for her nap while I'm out of the room…that is if it won't offend your childrearing sensitivities."

He gave her a tight smile. "Oh of course not; if you want McKenzie to be overly dependent on you; that will be your cross to bear and you'll have to be the one to correct it."

Kate smiled. "I'm not worried…don't forget, my mother treated me the same way and I'm fine. I don't even spend holidays with her…I don't even often have a meal at her house…so you see, I'm not overly dependent and I'm not worried that McKenzie will be either."

"Your dependence might be a matter of opinion," he quipped. "But I guess we'll see how it all turns out one day. Don't worry; I'm not going to wake McKenzie by moving her; she's fine."

"Thank you," his wife replied. "Do you want me to pack your things while I do mine or do you want to do your own?"

"I'll pack my own stuff," he said shortly as he flipped the channels on the television.

"I'm willing to do it," she said; softening her tone.

"I'll do it myself, Kate. I'm capable."

"Yeah; I know…you're capable of everything," she said before turning away from him and heading for the bedroom. Sometimes she wondered what he had ever needed her for. He didn't seem to need her for most things that wives were needed and wanted for; he had a cleaning lady who came in once a week. He could cook and seemed to prefer his own cooking to hers most of the time…and she had to admit, it did hurt at times when she was shooed out of the kitchen and told that he'd do it. Wasn't it supposed to be her job most of the time? She hadn't liked cooking only for herself when she had been single but now that she had a family she didn't have any issue with the task…she knew how to make a lot of things. He thought he was a better parent than her and was better at raising McKenzie. So what did he really need her for? Her womb she supposed; he wouldn't have another child without her womb providing it…and there was sex; not that that was happening a lot lately either. She sighed deeply as she sat down on the foot of the bed and put her head in her hands. She had been warned that a baby could be hard on a marriage…especially when that baby was born around the time of the first anniversary. Maybe they hadn't had the bugs worked out of their young marriage yet and now a baby was there and everything was out of whack. She didn't know how to fix it other than trying to find some time alone together but he didn't seem too cooperative…so what the hell was she supposed to do?

Jim smiled as he walked into the kitchen and met Johanna's eye as she stood by the counter waiting for the water to heat for her tea. A smile touched her lips; her green eyes sparkling with love and warmth. "That's an awful smug grin on your face, Mr. Beckett," she said lightly.

He moved in her direction. "You look a little smug yourself, Mrs. Beckett," he commented as his hands slipped around her waist.

"I figure I've earned it," she quipped.

His grin widened. "Oh I'd say so," he remarked before capturing her lips in a series of searing kisses until the tea kettle whistled and forced them apart.

"I better get that," Johanna murmured breathlessly as she reluctantly left the circle of his arms.

"You could just move it to the other burner and make tea later," he stated, his hands finding her waist once more.

"And why should I do that?" she asked; moving the kettle to another burner for the time being.

'Because then we can get back to this," Jim replied before kissing her once more.

"Last night wasn't enough?" Johanna inquired; her tone a mixture of lightness and seduction as her arms slipped around him.

"Nope…I always want to come back for more…which is why you should've stayed in bed like I told you," he said, his mouth moving over her ear.

Her fingertips dug into his shoulder despite her best intentions as his mouth found its way to that certain spot on her neck and settled there. "Scarlett needed fed; she was scratching at the door."

"She's been fed now," Jim replied; glancing at their pet who was happily occupied with her meal. "You can come back to bed."

"I'm already dressed," she laughed.

He glanced at the black leggings and pink and white button down shirt she had on. "No problem, sweetheart; I can help you out of this outfit in a matter of seconds. Just say the word; I'm a good helper."

"Oh I know you are," Johanna said with a laugh. "You've always been very helpful."

"I'm good like that; even my kindergarten teacher said I was helpful."

She looked up at him in amusement. "Who were you helping in kindergarten?"

"I wanted to help little Julie Douglas hang upside from the monkey bars but she chickened out so I had to settle for handing out the milk cartons at snack time."

Johanna laughed. "And whatever happened to little Julie Douglas?"

"She moved away when we were in second grade…but she had already lost her allure by then."

"Oh?"

"Yeah...total snob by the age of eight; but lucky for me; I was rewarded later in life with finding the perfect woman for me," Jim said warmly.

"You're a smooth talker, aren't you, Jim Beckett?"

"Only for you, sweetheart; so…you want to come back to bed?"

"I was thinking of making breakfast."

"Come back to bed and later we'll have brunch."

"We're already close to it being brunch," she laughed as he trailed kisses against her neck.

"Then we'll have lunch…doesn't matter which meal it is to me; they're all good."

"Don't you think we should save something for later?" she teased.

"Why wait when we could just have what we want now?"

"Because sometimes a wait makes it sweeter in the end."

"That could be true," he said. "But there's a lot to be said for the present."

Johanna smiled; her hand caressing his cheek before she caught his lips in a kiss. "Last night was perfect," she murmured.

"I know," he breathed, his hand moving softly along her side. "That's why I'm trying to prolong it."

A soft giggle slipped across her lips. "We've got plenty of time, darling; I'm all yours for the time we're up here…no interruptions in sight."

A grin touched his lips. "I do love having you all to myself for awhile."

"Me too…what are we going to do today…besides what you already have in mind."

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

"It's been awhile since we went to a movie," Johanna replied. "We could go this afternoon, beat the evening crowds."

Jim smiled. "We can see the new Star Wars movie."

Her nose wrinkled in distaste. "You know I don't like sci-fi movies."

"Come on, it'll be fun."

She sighed. "How many movies do they need in that franchise?"

"As many as possible," he quipped.

"Isn't there anything better playing?"

"Not that I want to see…and I go to your girly movies with you."

Johanna sighed once more. "Alright; I'll sit through yet another Star Wars movie…but only because I love you."

"Works for me," Jim said; pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "In return for that; I'll put my original plans of luring you back to bed on hold until later and allow you to make breakfast…or brunch; whatever it is by now."

"Deal," she laughed. "But I want popcorn and soda at this movie…the big size, not the puny one."

"We'll get this biggest size they have," he replied. "I'll even get you a box of candy too."

"Okay; and when we get home, I get to pick something I like to watch."

"Fine; but I want bacon with whatever you're making for breakfast," Jim said lightly.

"Alright, Counselor; I agree to the terms of this settlement," Johanna quipped. "How do you feel about it?"

"I'm agreeable…but we may need more mediation if you're going to start making the law sound sexy again," he replied, giving her a soft pat on her backside.

Johanna laughed and gave his a soft push against his chest. "We'll save the mediation for later; go shave, I'll make breakfast."

Before she could slip away from him, his fingertips caught hold of her chin and drew her close for another kiss. "I love you," he murmured; his tone warm, caressing her heart with every syllable.

"I love you too," Johanna replied; her eyes meeting his. "I was thinking about something this morning."

"What's that?"

"I'd like for us to stay up here for a little while past the New Year, if that's alright?"

Jim nodded. "It's fine with me…I mentioned to you that we could."

"I know…I just don't feel like hurrying back, you know? Unless you'd need to for work?"

"No; the things I have to do can be done from here; I'm not really needed at the office until the middle of the month. I'm just laying out some groundwork right now for Zach. What about the baby? Katie might be back to work before we go back."

"Rick can stay home with her for a few extra days," she replied. "I'm not going to mention it to Katie yet…but I do feel like I want to stay a little longer…have some extra time just for us."

"That sounds like a perfect Christmas gift to ourselves," Jim remarked. "I'm all for having a few extra days for us."

She kissed him, a smile touching her lips as she traced the line of his jaw. She had been sad on the drive up but now that they were there and things were going so well; she just wanted to stay in that bubble with him for as long as possible.

That afternoon, McKenzie cried as her cloth pink elephant rattle slipped from her hand and fell over the side of the walker.

"It's right here, sweetie," Kate said as she picked up the rattle and handed it back to her daughter; smoothing her hand over her dark hair. She had hoped that her nap would've helped with her fussiness but so far she was just as fussy as when she had woke up early that morning.

Her baby sniffled, drawing the elephant's soft ear into her mouth to chew on. "My poor girl," Kate murmured to her. "That mean tooth is making you unhappy; I wish I could make it better for you…or at least hurry it so you wouldn't have to feel so miserable."

McKenzie babbled back to her as she wiped the tears off her cheeks. "Dada," she said, her head turning in the direction of the office.

"Daddy's not in there; he went to get you more diapers so we have enough to take with us to Vermont," she told her. "I told him to get some extra formula too."

Her daughter huffed a little and she smiled, her fingers toying with the curls at the nape of McKenzie's neck. "You don't want to go to Vermont either, do you?"

"MaMaMa," McKenzie said, a small hand tapping one of the attached toys on her walker.

Kate smiled. "You want to see Grandma?"

"MaMaMa!" the baby exclaimed, a smile breaking across her small lips.

"You know, I'm starting to think you really do mean Grandma when you say that…if she was home we'd go see her but she's at the cabin with Grandpa."

The smile stayed on McKenzie's lips; her head turning in the direction of the door as if she expected her grandparents to walk through it. "Sorry, Babe; Grandma and Grandpa aren't coming today. I'm sure you miss them. I'm sure they miss you too."

McKenzie cooed at her and then gave her attention to her toys just a key sounded in the lock of the door. "Dada!" she exclaimed.

"I bet it is Daddy," Kate laughed; but then the door of the loft opened and her step-daughter swept inside. "We were wrong, Kenzie girl; it's Sissy!"

McKenzie smiled brightly; her gaze fixed on her sister as she held her arms up to be picked up by her but Alexis barely glanced at her which put Kate on alert. Usually as soon as Alexis came in the door, she swept her baby sister into her arms for kisses and tickles.

"Where's Dad?" Alexis asked; her tone firm and her blue eyes flashing with fire.

"He went to the store to get more diapers and formula; he should be back any minute," Kate replied. "Is there a problem?"

"Oh yeah; there's a problem," Alexis stated. "A big one."

Kate breathed deeply, taking in her step-daughter's body language and the fire flashing in her eyes. This couldn't be good; she thought to herself…it couldn't be good at all.