Winter Solstice in the Crown City is every bit as remarkable as they say it is, with its snow flurries and evergreens and multicolored lights all around. The sound of bells and carols and laughter fills the air, and people of all ages flock to the street stalls in the plazas despite the cold, all sharing in the collective joy and cheer of the year-end festivities and entertainment.
Exactly everything Selena would love, Nyx reflects wistfully from where he stands, observing the comings and goings of the guests and partygoers. The Eve of the Yule Festival is always a busy day, and new recruits such as himself are always delegated to crowd control.
Better than having nothing to do at home, at least.
(Home isn't here, he's also reminded bitterly, but only for a moment.)
Casually weaving through the throngs of people, he spots Altius in plainclothes a few minutes away, looking over the baked goods for a moment before moving on to the next stall. They briefly lock eyes, sharing that inherent steely gaze meant only for the numb. A curt nod, and she disappears into the crowd once more, the way only people like them can do.
A people lost, mourning, displaced, indebted. The last one gets on most everyone else's nerves than the rest, with pride and hopes and dreams shattered along with the lost Wall. Nyx merely sees it all as a chance at redemption, at coming to terms with things of the past. Ma's last letter to him said just as much: "Always move forward, so you don't have any regrets."
Straightforward, really, but easier said than done.
That time he failed to cover Furia in their last simulation drill haunts him for all of a week, his mind returning to overturned bar tables, burning buildings, bloodied bodies, and— No.
It's easier to snap out of them these days. Being with new company gives him new things to think about. Captain Drautos is a supportive man. Libertus and Altius help when they can.
Do your new outfit justice, Ulric.
He turns in the other direction, not minding the splatter of candy sauce that had just dropped onto his boots.
Nyx was expecting an arm around his neck, not hands over his eyes.
Altius appears mostly disinterested, though the hint of mischief she shares with Libertus makes him wonder if he has enough drinks in his fridge to last until sunrise.
He coughs away from them, patting off the dust from his pants. "You put her up to this or what?"
"We had a bet," Libertus clarifies. Altius only shrugs in agreement.
The three of them walk back to the dorms in silence. It's already three AM, and most of the merrymaking has winded down to a more bearable quiet, the deep of the night and the frost in the air heralding the first hours of Yule in a way most reminiscent of home.
Nyx has always preferred the silence. Ma always says that he and Selena are like night and day, but she loves them both just the same.
He does, too. (He just tries to not think about it. When he gets drunk out of his mind later, maybe then.)
The arm around his shoulder that he was expecting comes just then, and Libertus matches his heavy steps, slow and certain and understanding. Altius yawns openly from his other side, mumbling something incoherent as she rubs her gloved palms warm before shoving them back into her coat pockets.
This is quite fine, Nyx allows this much, all things considered. A lonely, mourning, indebted trio in a city that is not quite home, but at least they have each other, and everyone else, too.
The three of them crash way too quickly for the hardened drinkers they claimed to be when they first got together. It's not so much the physical exhaustion from foot patrol than it is the mental fatigue from being always on their toes and watching for suspicious activity for what felt like a whole day and then some. Libertus himself had broken up more than a few fights on his own, and has more than a few bruises to show for it.
"Hell is Other People," Altius mutters weakly to no one in particular before knocking back yet another can of cheap beer. The old TV is still on, playing Yule concert reruns, with the volume turned down to its lowest audible level.
"Hell yes, other people," Libertus agrees, while Nyx manages a broken grunt. The two of them clink their cans together and drink to that, too.
They'll probably regret it later in the morning, but at least training drills are not watching people, and it's easier to channel frustration into something requiring brute strength and force, not patience and finely-controlled temperament.
Later, Nyx is alone on the veranda, jacket off, awaiting the sunrise, while Libertus and Altius are fast asleep in the dirty living room. The frigid dawn air fills his bones and keeps him awake enough to not fall off or do anything stupid. Perfect time to smoke, really, had he not forgotten to buy a new lighter on the way home.
He rolls a long-extinguished butt between his fingers, imagining the faint scent of tobacco rising from the end as it is blown away by a gentle wind that sends shivers down his spine.
Just then, the area before him is bathed in a faint blue light, and he looks up, in time to see the clouds disappear to reveal the full moon. The last time he has beheld such a sight was back home, where there are no city lights and smog and the constant flickering of the failing Wall.
It hasn't been that long for him yet, has it?
Selena always hated it back then when he got sentimental. "You sound just like dad," she teases him while sticking out her tongue. Always been her own person, that girl— full of life and laughter, and loved nature and the Yule and every living being.
She also loved the full moon; she was born under one, after all.
Nyx blinks back the tears from his eyes; the cold, prickly air helps with that. Things will never be the same as before, but that's all right, for now. He'll get by, like he always has.