CHRISTMAS.
This Fanfic is a three parter, the next part will release before Christmas and the final part will release on Christmas.
Anyways, have a good read.
"What?" the familiar voice in her head asked, and Rosalina conferred the same thought.
Rosalina gawked as Bowser and Snake pulled the cloth off of the canvas, setting the cloth to the side revealing a single picture. It was one of a portly man in a red suit and matching hat. There was a single word painted next to the picture, that being "kill" in bright red paint.
It was simple apparently, yet Rosalina still had no idea.
"We're going to kill Santa Claus." they both said in unison.
{===}
"Alright, gather around everyone, gather around!" Mario beckoned, walking to the center of the auditoriums stage, standing gaudily above the seventy others in the room.
Rosalina looked on patiently from the corner of the room where she was listening to a conversation between Ren and Zelda. It was the eleventh of December, and like they had done the past six years, they would be going through what was known as the annual gift exchange.
The exchange apparently started back in the year 2014, the Brawl tournament (Which lasted two years after the exchange began), Mario's idea, and it stuck around like glitter sticks to a carpet. It would be Rosalina's third time participating in this event, her first two being in the for 3ds and Wii U tournament.
How it worked was that everyone was given a sheet of paper with another fighter's name on it. Within the next two weeks you were tasked with finding a gift for the individual whose name was on your paper. Also, on the same day the names were chosen, a name for who would receive the first Christmas gift was decided, apparently something to spice things up every year according to Mario.
Perhaps it was a way to put extra pressure on certain people to actually give good gifts, or perhaps it was a form of archaic torture put forth by the gods above to stress people out. It was the year before last, Bowser had been given the task of giving a gift to Duck Hunt, and according to the reports, had to be hospitalized for a few days thanks to an apparent stress related disease.
Though Bowser didn't seem to remember much about it, nobody seemed to ever think about it much after that. In fact, she hadn't heard about it in a while.
"Alright, now we're going to be doing things a little bit different, thanks to certain cheating incident the second to last year ago!" Mario announced. "NO telling anybody else your recipient, or you'll be punished, alright?"
There was a murmur of agreement, and a few seconds later Mario continued his spiel. "Okay, close your eyes and hold out your hands so we can get this over with, I'm tired." Mario complained, getting a slight chuckle from the audience. Rosalina obeyed and closed her eyes.
...
Soon, bells jingled above, and a rush of wind blew into her face, a piece of paper falling promptly into her hands like magic, perhaps the magic of the holidays is that even existed. She doubted the validity of it after all, just something companies make up to sell more merchandise and movies.
"Okay, open your eyes, but don't peek just yet..." Mario announced as Rosalina opened her eyes, everyone around her on the verge of doing so, or had already looked at their recipient. "The first person to receive a gift this Christmas will be..." The crowd was filled with murmurs of anticipation, many hoping to be chosen first, and others hoping to be the chosen first out the door.
…
The crowd waited.
…
"Wait for it..." Mario teased, a sly look on his face.
"GET ON WITH IT!" a voice exclaimed as the crowd seemed to get rowdy.
"Yeah, get on with it!" another voice added.
"GET ON WITH IT!" the rest of the crowd confirmed in a surprise show of unity.
"Fine, it's Wii Fit Trainer, gosh." Mario gave in as Wii Fit probably got gawked at by half the crowd.
"It's never me, mama-mia..." another voice cried out in despair.
"There's always next year Luigi." Mario said in an attempt to cheer up his brother. "It's a 1/77 chance, I don't pick the recipients."
"Yeah, I know, I know..." Luigi sighed.
"Well before you turn this place into Portland, you all can take a look at your papers if you already haven't." Mario granted, beginning to exit stage left. "And exit in a single file line please."
Rosalina nodded as everyone walked around her and couldn't help but feel partly bad for whoever had to give Wii Fit Trainer a gift. Rosalina had known her as a distant acquaintance, but nothing enough to where she would ever call her a friend. She knew Wii Fit was into sports, or fitness to be more specific, but other than that she didn't know much about her.
Rosalina shook her head and chuckled to herself as she prepared to buy a mug that said, "World's Best Dad!" but crossed out dad so it read "World's Best". Rosalina then looked at the paper.
…!
She checked it twice to make sure she wasn't seeing things.
She wasn't.
"Wii Fit Trainer." she mouthed. Rosalina quickly got over her shock and walked out, but unbeknownst to her, she was being watched, very... very... carefully.
CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED
#ChristmasIsOverParty
(14 days remain...)
…
Rosalina walked down the hallway, heading towards the computer room to look up a gift for Wii Fit Trainer. The first gift was the most important, and it had always been something big. Why, the last year, that being the final year of the Wii U and 3ds tournament, Roy had given Marth a handwritten book on how to speak English, which helped him speak plenty during the current tourney.
Rosalina continued her walk down the hallway, making it to where she could find a map of the place. On the map she looked to the downstairs section, where most of the leisure type rules were, basic things like the library, a game room, and a few unknown rooms she had no business in whatsoever.
Though as she read the map, she heard loud, boisterous footsteps behind her, very pronounced ones, but she assumed them to be simply passing by. This wasn't the case however, as Rosalina felt something sharp jab into her back, something that made everything go hazy...
STEP...
STEP...
STEP...
Rosalina opened her eyes, and she felt as if she had just woken up from a hangover. Her eyes began to focus, though not on much considering the room she was in was pitch black. Though she could faintly see the outline of what looked to be a tiny lightbulb above, though it wasn't on.
"Where am I?" Rosalina questioned, her eyes darting around.
Suddenly the light flickered on, and Rosalina could see the white table she was sitting at for the most part. A voice cleared its throat and Rosalina looked to the corner, only to see the dimly lit silhouette of the Koopa King himself, Bowser. Bowser walked up and sat at the other side of the table, not saying a word, Rosalina now fully awake.
"Hello there." Bowser greeted, the light only illuminating the front of his face and a bit of his chest below.
"Where are we?" Rosalina asked, realizing that she was tied to the chair after an attempt to stand up.
"Never mind where we are, the point is there are some questions I want to ask you." Bowser explained, picking up a Manila Folder from the floor and looking through it. "First of all, you got Wii Fit Trainer in the gift exchange, didn't you?"
Rosalina didn't quite respond at first, she didn't quite know why he wanted to know after all. "Who's asking?" Rosalina questioned.
"Answer the question." Bowser proposed, placing the folder on the table, fully open in Rosalina's view. There was a picture, it was a picture of herself from earlier today, around when she looked at her paper. "You're not leaving this room until you answer, this is too big for even you to miss out on."
"Well, we aren't supposed to tell anyone, that's what Mario says at least." Rosalina reminded Bowser, though that seemed to make things more tense as his eyebrows narrowed.
"Listen, Rosalina." Bowser sighed. "Do you remember the penultimate year of the for 3ds and Wii U tournament?"
"Yes, that was when you got really stressed out and had to go to the hospital." Rosalina confirmed, assuming this to be about that. "How is that related?"
"Now, let me ask you something else." Bowser said, ignoring her query. "Do you know what happened two years before my hospitalization, on the second annual Christmas gift exchange?"
"Uh..." Rosalina paused to think, but nothing came up about it. It made sense considering she wasn't there at the time. "No, nothing."
"Do you want to know?" Bowser asked, his tone getting a bit friendlier, though something about it seemed slightly off.
"Well, I mean I suppose, but how will this-"
"Then confirm my suspicions!" Bowser countered, slamming a hand on the table. "Do you have Wii Fit Trainer in the gift exchange or not?"
"Hm." Rosalina replied, not sure where to go with this. She still didn't know why he cared, and honestly this all seemed like some sort of elaborate prank, that or a reality TV show because it all reeked of being fake. Either way, she decided to go along with it, for now. "Well, yes I do."
The room then got a whole lot brighter, lights in the corners and near the middle of the ceiling came on, and revealed Bowser was in actuality holding a recording device in his right hand. "That's all I needed to hear."
"Huh?" Rosalina asked, half thinking her reality TV hypothesis was correct, and half thinking she had just pleaded guilty to a crime.
"Listen up, you've just joined the greatest group of your life, welcome to the squad." Bowser explained as the ropes around Rosalina suddenly loosened and fell to the ground.
"Squad?" Rosalina repeated, slightly repulsed.
"Well, it's more like... two people, me and the other guy, but now that you're here, it's a squad!" Bowser declared, pumping his fist into the air. "Forget about Wii Fit Trainer, she's a distraction, we need to focus on our mission."
"Our mission?"
"Our mission." Bowser confirmed. "I can't say it out in the open, so we'll have to go see the other guy to speak about it."
"Who is it?" Rosalina wished as she stood up from the chair. "The other guy I mean."
"It's one of the fighters here, he actually started this whole thing." Bowser stated, though Rosalina didn't quite know who he meant.
"Look, that's great and all, but can't we do this some other time?" Rosalina asked.
"There is no other time, Rosalina." Bowser explained. "It's now or never, do or die, etcetera." Bowser spat out, waving his hand to add flavor to the conversation. "Well, I know where they usually hang, but we'll have to take my car to get there."
"You have a car?" Rosalina questioned, imagining some sort of Monster Truck, or perhaps an SUV.
"Yeah, not to brag, but you know my Clown Car?" Bowser reminisced, his voice in a higher tone. "Yeah, that's my personal car." he blatantly bragged.
"Well, the earlier we go the better I guess." Rosalina acknowledged, and rather disappointed that it wasn't a Monster Truck, she stood up in her seat. "Let's get this over with."
"Alright, let me just get my keys from the storage, follow me." Bowser winked, though Rosalina threw that memory out as soon as it came into her brain. The two walked down the hallways, the room they were in seemed to be a secluded place upstairs, so they made their way towards the downstairs.
"Alright, we're not far, it's gonna get crowded, so I need you to act like we're having an argument so nobody gets suspicious." Bowser explained as they went down the stairway.
' Suspicious? ' Rosalina wanted to ask, but she would sound more like her question if she did, so she decided to go with something coyer. "Argument about what?" Rosalina questioned as she noticed a few people passing by downstairs.
"Uh..." Bowser looked around, but couldn't come up with anything. "I don't know, just make something up about Christmas."
"How about Santa Claus?" Rosalina suggested, delving into the holiday theme. "No, that's not good, he isn't even real," Rosalina doubted, as she thought of something else.
"Woah, slow down there, you think Santa isn't real?" Bowser questioned, seeming baffled as the two reached the bottom of the staircase. "Then where do your gifts come from on Christmas Eve?"
"Aren't you an adult?" Rosalina interrogated. "Surely you of all would know he doesn't exist."
"Please, I get gifts from him every year, explain that." Bowser attempted to counter.
"Kamek." Rosalina objected, brushing off his statement completely as they passed another person and began walking into the downstairs hallway. "I mean, I imagine you have a temper-"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE A TEMPER?!" Bowser exclaimed, though he honestly seemed as furious as a French poodle in this situation considering the topic.
"If Kamek told you Santa isn't real you'd probably destroy everything." Rosalina continued as they passed by something green cowering in fear.
"Then explain how those poor kids in Sarrassaland get presents, huh?!" Bowser attempted, though not much could really come from that. "I saw the Christmas specials from back in the day, those-"
"Those are fake, they're 2D animated, none of those actually happened in real life." Rosalina explained as they passed an offended Game & Watch. "Sarrassaland is a third world country, so the kids don't get gifts, that's only when charities want you to give them money, but most of the money goes towards paying the employees and not actual poor kids anyways..."
Bowser grumbled and turned away, steam practically blowing out of his ears. "Stupid argument anyway." he huffed. "Since when do you know so much about animated TV specials?"
"I used to watch them with uh... back in the for 3ds and Wii U tournament." Rosalina answered.
"Watched them with who?" Bowser raised, Rosalina noticing the storage door a few feet ahead.
"We're here, go get your keys." Rosalina commanded.
"Hm." Bowser grumbled, clearly noticing her dodging of the question. "Ok, you wait right here, I'll just go do that."
"Yeah, alright." Rosalina confirmed as Bowser walked through a door which had the label "storage" on the side, a rather wide door, but most doors were wide in the mansion to accommodate larger fighters. Rosalina leaned against the wall and patiently waited for Bowser to be done.
Rosalina closed her eyes for a moment.
…
Was this really necessary?
I mean, Bowser seemed to have motive in his actions, but...
Where was he going with this?
…
Rosalina opened her eyes.
"Hi." a voice Rosalina knew a bit too well said. Rosalina pushed herself against the wall, but slightly loosened up as she felt her hand graze the door. Rosalina looked at the person in front of her, her notable long green hair, prosperous white dress and sash, her gorgeous face and...
…
Rosalina took a deep breath and looked at Palutena. "Hi..." Rosalina greeted, holding up her hand to wave.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Palutena questioned, giving a crude smile. "What are you doing here?"
"I..." Rosaline looked around.
"You're what?" Palutena implored, a cute smile on her face...
"I'm heading inside, bye!" Rosalina declared, quickly turning and entering the storage room with her head held low, closing the door behind her.
Rosalina entered the large room, a room that had various storage lockers and safes stretching maybe thirty feet towards the opposing direction. There was nobody else in the room besides Bowser- wait no, there was one other person, Chrome- Chrom, his name was Chrom.
Rosalina hastily walked over to Bowser, who seemed to notice her enter, and was shutting off his conversation.
"Yeah, so I was just here getting my keys." Bowser explained to Chrom who nodded in response.
"Very well, I'll catch you some other time." Chrom confirmed, stealing a glance at Rosalina. "Hello." he said to her, and she waved back.
"Hey, tell Lucina I said hello." Bowser suggested as Chrom walked out the exit. Bowser then turned to Rosalina. "What do you need?"
"It was cold outside." Rosalina replied, pretending to shiver.
"No, it's not, and I'm the one not wearing clothes." Bowser countered. "Anyways, you want to sit over there while I get the keys?"
"No, I'll just stand." Rosalina responded.
"You sure?" Bowser asked. "I mean, you look kind of tired, or maybe there's a better way to put it."
"Hey." Palutena suddenly said, appearing behind Bowser like he was a kid and she was about to do something that wasn't personal. "She looks fine to me, if she just wants to stand, let her stand."
"Well, I was just making an acute observation." Bowser scoffed. "Also, an introduction would've been nice."
"Well, hello, but something else piqued my interest." Palutena admitted. "You two are planning something, aren't you?"
"Hey, don't you have something better to do?" Bowser questioned. "Were just hanging out."
"Yeah, we're just friends." Rosalina added, trying to not look Palutena in the eye.
"I find that very hard to believe, Rosie." Palutena doubted, her gaze seeming to pierce all.
"Rosie?" Rosalina questioned, turning away immediately. "Uh..."
"Very hard to believe considering you two haven't spoken since earlier today." Palutena explained, hopefully looking at Bowser.
"Says who?!" Bowser demanded, seeming to get angry. "Were you stalking us?!"
"That doesn't matter, the point is, I want in." Palutena inquired, shifting her glance fully to Rosalina. "I haven't had a fun adventure in quite some time, and you two seem like fun."
"Hey Palutena, how about you get a clue and buzz off?" Bowser commanded, stepping between her and Rosalina. "Lemme spell it out for you." Bowser cleared his throat. "L-E-A-V-E!" Bowser yelled, winking at Rosalina, another trashed memory. "Come on Rosalina, I just remembered I left my keys in the garage."
Bowser stomped away, grabbing Rosalina's hand and essentially dragging her away in the process, they exited the room and found themselves walking back down the hallway.
"Wow, the nerve of some people." Bowser scoffed, stomping down the hallway. "She needs to go back to spamming her Nair, am I right?"
"Yeah, anyways you left the keys in the garage?" Rosalina wished to confirm, though it practically was.
"Ok, clearly something's up." Bowser noted, slightly slowing down his walking. "You two clearly have some history, but I won't butt into your personal life, but there's something we need to focus on here, alright?"
"Yeah, it's nothing you need to worry about." Rosalina clarified.
"And now I'm worried about it." Bowser groaned, putting a hand to his face. "Well, the garage is outside, it's a bit out into the field, not many people use it, so we'll have to walk."
"Can't you call your Clown Car?" Rosalina grilled him, to which Bowser paused, them having reached halfway to the main foyer.
"I could call my Clown Car, but if you think I'm taking it anywhere near this hellhole, you're wrong." Bowser assessed, his hands on his hips. "Besides, it's locked inside the garage, that would be too much property damage to put on my tab."
"Still, do you have any faster way to get there?" Rosalina pushed.
"Geez, talk about impatient." Bowser lamented. "Fine, I'll call Junior and get his Clown Car." he decided upon.
Bowser then walked outside and Rosalina followed, not turning back towards the storage room, and not looking anywhere else for that matter until they were outside. From what they could see, the outside was barren of any real individuals, and Bowser walked over to a bench, Rosalina following and both of them sitting down in tandem.
Bowser reached under the bench and pulled out a phone from under it.
Rosalina cocked her head to the side and followed the phone as Bowser pulled it towards his face. "Is that..."
"Yeah, I don't have pockets." Bowser clarified, making Rosalina feel like an idiot momentarily, but it didn't last long.
"Why not wear pants?" Rosalina asked, birds tweeting in the backgrounds.
"You don't wear pants, why should I?" Bowser retorted, turning on his phone's screen. "Pockets are overrated." he added, holding the phone to his ear.
"A dress counts as pants..." Rosalina shot back, and while Bowser seemed to acknowledge her response, the phone picked up.
"Hello?" Bowser greeted, waiting for a response soon afterwards. "Oh, hey Junior, it's me, your dad." Bowser greeted as Rosalina looked on, the faint voice of Bowser Junior coming from the cellphone. "Yeah, well if-" Bowser was probably interrupted and seemed slightly annoyed at the prospect. "Okay, it's great that you've been talking to more people, but I need-"
"Hey, for Christmas..." was all Rosalina managed to hear from Junior as Bowser seemed to be holding in a massive fit of yelling, apparent from a vein bulging on the side of his forehead.
"Are you alright?" Rosalina cautiously asked, slowly reaching a hand towards Bowser whose gaze shifted towards her.
"Junior, I'm going to put somebody else on the phone for a moment..." Bowser huffed; a fake grin plastered on his face along with a fake sultry tone. "I'll be right back." Bowser finished, tossing the phone to Rosalina who scrambled to catch it, nothing breaking in the process.
"What am I supposed to do?" Rosalina whispered, holding the phone away from her face.
"I'll be right back; I need to punch something." Bowser fussed, walking away and leaving Rosalina with the phone.
"Hello?" Junior introduced, clearly as unsure as her, if not more.
Rosalina slowly pulled the phone up to her ear and inwardly cringed as she spoke. "Hello." she greeted, wanting to take back every syllable spoken, somehow feeling she was doing everything wrong.
"Who is this?" Junior asked, something about his voice seeming a tiny bit nervous.
"I'm..." Rosalina stopped for whatever reason, not exactly sure why. "I'm one of your dad's friends." she introduced, not technically right or wrong.
"Well duh, he won't give his phone to anyone unless he's really mad." Junior replied, almost scoffing at her. "Anyways, what did my dad want?"
Rosalina felt a weight fly off of her head at the easy question and promptly responded. "Well, he-"
"Oh hey, did my dad stop hating Christmas yet?" Junior intruded as the sounds of a fist slamming into something began to grow in the background.
"I beg your pardon?" Rosalina inquired.
"He hates Christmas, he never gets me anything!" Junior groaned, a slight frown growing on Rosalina's face. "I mean, I already get fifty gifts a year, is fifty-one too hard for him?" Rosalina immediately lost all sense of remorse right then and just sighed, the atmosphere feeling clearer than air.
"Well, your dad said-"
"GRAHH!" Bowser yelled as a mini-shockwave coursed through the area. "STUPID... HOLIDAYS...!"
Rosalina felt her face drag down and a thought crossed her mind. "Hey, does your dad hit you?" Rosalina requested.
Junior laughed a bit, "No, why?"
Rosalina turned behind her and saw Bowser was beating the literal soul out of a tree trunk like he was an MMA fighter. "No reason." Rosalina shuddered and turned away. "Anyways, your dad needs your Clown Car."
"Well, tell him I'm busy." Junior shrugged off. "I'm in the middle of an Online Game, I can't pause."
Rosalina thought of looking towards Bowser, but she knew nothing would've changed, so she instead pressed forward. "Bowser said he'll take your game if you don't."
"I'LL BE RIGHT OVER!" Junior screeched like he just realized his girlfriend's parents weren't home, hanging up immediately afterwards.
"Oh." Rosalina mumbled, something the situation seeming almost humorous. "Bowser..." Rosalina called, waving over to the angry turtle.
"WHAT?!" Bowser answered, the tree trunk looking more like a tree lump.
"Your son is on his way." Rosalina informed, watching in amazement as Bowser's mood shifted to that of a more gracious one.
"Oh, thank god." Bowser conferred, walking over to the bench. "I hate when he asks me about Christmas."
"Yeah, I can tell." Rosalina acknowledged derisively. "I honestly forgot you had a son."
"Yeah, you didn't know me before today." Bowser justified, sitting down.
"Thanks for that." a strange unknown, yet familiar voice said.
"Pardon?" Rosalina pondered, glancing at Bowser. "Did you say something?"
"No." Bowser replied getting comfortable in the bench. "Anyways, we just have to wait for Junior to get here."
'But... didn't I just hear something?' Rosalina asked herself, slight concerned she was hearing things. "Must've been the wind." Rosalina assured herself.
…
Rosalina relaxed herself on the bench as she waited, the air feeling colder than before, and while she was unsure of the previous thing, she knew this was just the wind. So, she waited and as she waited, a strange though trickled into her mind like a dew drop falling off of a tree as spring approached. The thought that, maybe, just maybe this would be...
Well, she couldn't quite find on the word, but she'd perhaps find it as the day stretched on and Bowser Junior came forwards with his Clown Car. Perhaps.
And perhaps...
Perhaps it will.
…
"DAD!" a voice roared out, snapping Rosalina out of her trance like scalding hot coffee had just been poured on her crotch. "DAD, I'M HERE!" Junior yelled yet again.
"Yeah, I'm not deaf." Bowser noted, standing up as Junior hopped out of the Clown Car, a small one honestly, and Rosalina wasn't sure how they'd both fit inside. "Alright Rosalina, let's roll!"
"Rosalina?" Junior gasped, taking a momentary glance at her, turning back to his father. "Why are you hanging out with her?"
"Adult business." Bowser conferred. "You'll understand when you're older."
"But I'm already thirteen!" Junior moaned. "That's like... one more than last year!"
"Tell it to the judge." Bowser shrugged walking towards walking towards the Clown Car.
"But you're the judge." Junior countered. "Also the jury and the executioner."
"Look, if you don't leave right now, I'm turning off your internet connection." Bowser threatened, putting the spring into Junior's step. Rosalina watched as he ran away, far, far away, so far away that he would never be seen again for the rest of the holiday tale.
"Bye..." Rosalina waved as the Koopa Prince disappeared over the horizon. "Okay, isn't the clown car a bit on the small side?"
"How tall are you?" Bowser questioned as he fiddled with something inside the car.
"I mean, 7'3 give or take a few, why?" her question was answered as the Clown Car suddenly expanded like it was a debt to the mafia, growing to a comfortable size, around one and a half Bowser's wide. "How..."
"Mushrooms exist, genetically modify mushrooms to work on machinery." Bowser explained, hopping into the car. "How do you think I got so tall when I tried to take over the galaxy?"
"Oh, I thought they just shrunk you when you got here, kind of like what they did for Olimar, but the opposite." Rosalina explained also getting into the car. "Does this thing have any seatbelts?"
"Don't worry, it's impossible to fall out, and if you do, I'll just pick you back up." Bowser assured, not seeming exactly sure about that last part. "Anyways, brace yourself."
"Brace myself, why do I need to brace myself-" It was quickly apparent why as she almost experienced a case of whiplash, the Clown Car zooming upwards and forwards at a rapid velocity. How Peach did this every other month, she had no idea as she felt more nauseous than a Koopa in its shell on a rollercoaster with fifty loop-de-loops.
"You holding up?" Bowser asked as the wind blew in his hair, blowing is back like the blowback from #FreeMelee, so not much.
"No..." Rosalina complained, holding a hand against her mouth. "I feel-"
"You feel like you're going to inwardly convulse?" Bowser guessed.
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"Eh, Peach said the same thing her first time." Bowser laughed, though nothing about this seemed particularly funny. "Then she kind of tried to push me out of the car so I had to knock her out, but don't worry I won't do that unless you try to knock me out of the car."
"Yeah... just tell me when we're there, I'm gonna hang over the side really quick." Rosalina groaned.
"Make sure nobody's below." Bowser suggested turning away.
Rosalina twisted over the side of the clown car, but thankfully nothing happened, a simple false alarm. She saw trees going by in a blur, a stark contrast to what she assumed a garage location would be.
"You're welcome." the strange voice from before said, Rosalina suddenly standing upright like she was just given an order from her higher officer.
"Who said that?!" Rosalina asked, almost saluting.
"You hearing things again?" Bowser chuckled, with acidity in his voice. "Okay JRPG protagonist..."
"Haha... yeah, whatever that means." Rosalina conceded, though her laugh wasn't one of actuality. "Hey, how close are we to the garage?"
"Five minutes, why?" Bowser shrugged off like that was a good number.
"Just asking." Rosalina mulled. "I've never been this far out, why would the garage be in a forest anyway?"
"..."
"...?"
"There were no keys in the garage, and there is no garage." Bowser said changing up his tone. "We've arrived."
The Clown Car stopped midair and began hovering downwards towards a tiny opening in the trees, and it wasn't long before the propeller on the bottom stopped as they reached the ground. Bowser got out of the Clown Car and Rosalina followed as they made their way a few feet ahead.
"Rosalina, let me ask you a question." Bowser proposed. "You can keep secrets, yes?"
"Well, yes you could say that." Rosalina confirmed.
"Good, good." Bowser said as he stopped near a tree that seemed darker than the others, perhaps one that spent too much time on the beach before coming back to see his family. "Stand right there." he directed, Rosalina being just around the tree's front.
"Okay, but why are we in a forest?" Rosalina pried. Bowser didn't respond and instead knocked on the tree four times, a slit opening near the middle of the trees bark where two dark eyes looked back at her, then at Bowser.
"What's the password?" the tree man asked in a raspy voice.
"Merry Christmas." Bowser answered slapping his chest once with his right hand. "Sike."
"That's her?" the tree man questioned eyeing warily. Bowser nodded and in a flash the tree man disappeared and the bark went back into a tree. Bowser walked back over to Rosalina, no expression on his face, and they both began to go down. A square area around where they were standing lowered, surprising Rosalina at first, but she went with it.
The grassy platform continued to lower, the grass being replaced by another one soon enough, but they still didn't reach the elevators base. There was no telling when it would stop, but as they got lower and the walls became concrete, Rosalina saw strange pictures taped onto the wall.
Pictures of what looked to be presents, trees, cookies, deer, and hats plastered all over with various names on the bottom, changing between Bowser and... "Snake" on each picture. The pictures looked to be painted in crayon, though some looked more professional than others, each scrolling by in a flash
"I'm sure you've figured it out by now." Bowser assumed, though she had no idea what was going on. The elevator then stopped. There was an iron door that slid open revealing a medium size room with a single light near the middle that was rather dim. But lights came on, one by one, revealing a refrigerator, a circular table, and Solid Snake himself sitting in a chair holding a soda.
"Sup." Snake greeted tossing the soda can into a massive pile as Bowser and Rosalina walked into the tiny room.
On the farthest wall there was something covered in a cloth, a canvas. Something that would hopefully solve this entire situation and explain to her why Bowser had brought her hear. Maybe it'd explain why Bowser singled her out due to the gift exchange, and maybe it'd explain why they had to be so damn secretive about everything.
"Please explain everything." Rosalina pleaded, placing a hand to her forehead.
"Very well, let's show her." Snake confirmed to Bowser. "Stay right there." Snake said as he and Bowser walked over to the cloth at the other side of the room. Rosalina waited patiently for them to build up suspense, they each stood at opposing sides of the cloth covered canvas.
"What we're doing here is simple." Bowser declared, grasping the air.
"Our ULTIMATE task!" Snake pronounced emphasizing ultimate.
Bowser smirked. "We..."
Snake held his hand up and posed. "Are going to..."
"What?" the familiar voice in her head asked, and Rosalina conferred the same thought.
Rosalina gawked as Bowser and Snake pulled the cloth off of the canvas, setting the cloth to the side revealing a single picture. It was one of a portly man in a red suit and matching hat. There was a single word painted next to the picture, that being "kill" in bright red paint.
It was simple apparently, yet Rosalina still had no idea.
"We're going to kill Santa Claus." they both said in unison.
{===}
To be continued, and...
I started writing this two days ago because I wanted to make something for the Holidays.
Simply put, this isn't a Christmas fanfiction, it's more like a parody of such, except it's not. Whenever I read Christmas stories I want to die inwardly because they all have the same timid concept.
Christmas Joy
This story isn't about Christmas Joy, and it isn't about the true meaning of the holidays.
It's simply a story that will be finished on Christmas Day.
Feliz Navidad.