We wish you a merry Christmas-
Just kidding, Christmas is cancelled you absolute knucklehead.
Was going to post this yesterday, but Sephiroth released, and you got to play Sephiroth, you can't not play him when he comes out.
Now let's continue!
{===}
"I don't get it..." was Rosalina's first response. "Is this some kind of early April Fool's joke?" she guessed. "Where are the cameras?"
"This isn't a joke; this is real life." Snake assured, not a single hint of unsureness in his voice. "I Solid Snake, along with Bowser wish to murder Santa Claus." Snake confirmed.
"He isn't even real..." Rosalina complained, wondering if she was dreaming. There wasn't a feasible way this could be serious, and if it was these two needed serious help. "Please just show the hidden cameras."
"Rosalina, this is a serious endeavor, would I ever lie to you?" Bowser asked with a toothy grin, and Rosalina just looked at him.
"Well, she hasn't seen the evidence, of course she won't believe." Snake scoffed. "Rosalina, follow me into the refrigerator."
"I beg your pardon?" Rosalina asked as snake walked towards the refrigerator on the rooms right side, a white refrigerator two stories a fridge and a freezer and opened it up.
"Follow me when you're ready, I'll be waiting." Snake beckoned, stepping inside of the refrigerator, and closing it like this was a completely normal action. The door of the refrigerator closed, and Bowser walked to a broken-down couch on the rooms left side, sitting down, and pulling out a tablet with red and blue controllers at the side.
"Bowser, please tell me this is an elaborate joke." Rosalina pleaded.
"Heh... there's the Korok..." Bowser muttered, seeming to ignore her completely.
"Do I really have to walk into the refrigerator?" Rosalina asked herself, looking back towards where she came in. The door wasn't closed, she could always just walk out. "I think I'm going to leave." Rosalina said to Bowser who still didn't respond.
Rosalina walked towards the entrance and stepped onto the grassy platform, seeing an image of Bowser, though shoddily drawn, and Snake holding guns and shooting what was either a snow globe or a light fixture. Above was the grass that replaced the current platform she stood on, but there didn't seem to be anything that would make it move.
"Isn't that adorable?" the voice in her head asked, making Rosalina's shoulders tense up like a child being yelled at.
"WHO ARE YOU?!" Rosalina demanded in a sharp tone.
"Quiet down, I'm trying to collect ancient parts!" Bowser called out, and Rosalina quietly apologized, though he probably didn't hear it.
"I'm... your inner conscious." the voice proposed.
"You took your time to answer that." Rosalina noted in a whisper. "Plus, my conscious never speaks to me."
"You won't like it when I tell you~." the voice teased, giggling. "You sure you want to know?"
"Just tell me." Rosalina confirmed. "I don't like hearing voices."
"It's..." the voice got louder, closer almost like it was directly next to her ears and in an almost assaulting whispering tone, it spoke. "It's me, Palutena."
…
' PALUTENA? '
Rosalina's face turned to that of a frown, but she felt her face getting hot, her face automatically rising in complete opposite to what she was feeling. "I- I... I-I... I..."
"It seems my theory was correct." Palutena mused. "Nice to see you still get cute around me."
"Please get out..." Rosalina pleaded, wishing to bang her head against the wall.
"It's either staying in your head coming there in person." Palutena explained cockily.
"Can you do neither?" Rosalina asked, wanting to bang her head against the wall as knocking herself out seemed better than being here. "Please?"
"Come on, I want to know what's going on as much as you probably want to get out of here." Palutena inquired. "Plus, you can't really get out of here, so you'll have to investigate eventually." Rosalina looked up again, but it was for naught, as unfortunately Palutena was probably correct. She couldn't climb, nor could she wall jump or wall cling.
"See, I told you so." Palutena remarked, her voice striking Rosalina's ears like lightning, everything that had transpired just before the Ultimate tournament flashing in her mind. "I'll wait for you to enter; don't make we wait too long!"
…
So, that was it apparently.
Palutena was quite literally inside of her head, Bowser and Snake wished to kill somebody who wasn't real, and they were in some World War 3 looking underground bunker with pictures drawn with crayon plastered on the wall. But what now?
"Well." Rosalina thought about this hard for a moment. "I'm not doing this." was the answer she found. Rosalina walked over to Bowser who was still on his tablet device. "Bowser, I'm leaving, send up the elevator."
"I doubt it." Bowser laughed. "I don't control the elevator, ask Snake." he explained.
"Alright, see you later then." Rosalina confirmed, Bowser giving a confused look and then a quick nod. "I have to..."
"Enter the refrigerator, yeah." Bowser explained in a nonchalant manner.
"Yeah." Rosalina replied nodding as she looked towards the refrigerator, expecting to see Snake standing inside freezing his hands off like he was some sort of masterful chief or a Bethesda protagonist. Rosalina placed her hand on the handle and pulled the door open, revealing...
A hole.
"Huh?" Rosalina said aloud, looking down the hole which seemed to stretch down for eternity. In the side door there were multiple soda cans stacked on top of each other, but that was about all that was interesting besides the hole.
"You gotta enter the hole." Bowser suggested from afar.
Palutena couldn't help but chime in unfortunately. "If you need help entering," she inquired. "Think that the hole is my-"
"SHUT UP!" Rosalina yelled
Bowser scoffed, "Geez, if you didn't want help all you had to do was say."
"Sorry, um... I... I'll go in the hole." Rosalina apologized, but Bowser shrugged it off. Rosalina closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and ducked down into the refrigerator, promptly falling down the hole, darkness passing around her in an instant, and it didn't take a moment before she landed on a soft surface, some sort of mattress.
"I see you're here." Snake noted, his voice coming from a corridor farther into the area, he wasn't visible. "Come closer, I'll explain everything.
The room she was in was quite moist, a moist hole if you will, a tight moist hole if you will, a tight dark moist hole if you will, a-
It was some sort of underground cave that would probably be used in another lore filled story. Rosalina ignored it, however. "Snake." she called out. "I'm leaving, turn on the platform thing."
"No, you need to hear this first." Snake beckoned. "There's no other way out besides through here anyways..."
"Very well then." Rosalina muttered, deciding to head forward into the cave. She stepped forward, and immediately stepped in a puddle, her feet getting wet in the process. She ignored this disturbance and trudged forward into the corridor.
"Well, this is quite... see you later."
…
"Quite what?" Rosalina asked aloud, though oddly there was no response. Odd.
"What?" Snake questioned, his voice echoing off the walls.
"Sorry, I was just talking to the voice in my head!" she apologized.
As she entered the corridor, she could see in the distance, Snake's silhouette was illuminated holding a torch. "Follow." he said, and Rosalina followed into the dark cave. Both of their footsteps echoed on the cave walls, the only sound for the moment as the cave opened into a room.
The room looked manmade, if has a sort of quartz look about it. A circular room with some sort of pedestal in the center, only lit up by Snake's torch. "Ignore this, I haven't figured out a way to open it." Snake brushed off. "Now, I imagine you're wondering if this is a joke, right?"
"Well, yes, I am." Rosalina confirmed.
"It's not." Snake conferred. "I suppose I should give you the story from the start, on the second annual Christmas Gift Exchange."
SNAKE PRESENTS
THE SECOND ANNUAL CHRISTMAS GIFT EXCHANGE
CIRCA 2016
"It was... Winter as it is every December. I, Solid Snake was doing what I always do in my spare time. Sit and wonder when Konami would stop making bad video games. That's when I got a message, from Mario. Mario explained they were doing a Christmas gift exchange and that they wanted me to join this year. I'd had heard about it from my staunch associate Lucario, they had done something similar the last year, but it was between a smaller group.
So, that year I met up near the Rock, back in Brawl before you all ruined it with your mansion garbage, we just hung out wherever the world brought us, but the one main hangout spot was the Rock. If you want to know what's so important about it, that's for another time.
Anyways, one that day I got the fifteenth worst experience of my life. IF you want to know the other fifteen, play the Metal Gear Solid games on your Xbox Series X, now isn't the time for that. That year, I was tasked to give a gift to the Ice Climbers, and it just so happens they were the first to receive their gift that holiday.
There was a problem though.
What did the Ice Climbers like besides Ice and Climbing? Think about it, in the case of when Bowser was given Duck Hunt as a recipient, they also were chosen as the first to receive a gift. What does Duck Hunt like exactly? Do you get two gifts? Three? How can you figure out what a duck wants for Christmas?
Bowser had to ask himself all these questions, and I had to ask similar for the Ice Climbers. That year, I believe I had my memory erased-"
"I'm done." Rosalina interrupted, though Snake showed no hints of surprise. "Snake, I don't even know who you are, why do you expect me to believe this?"
"I don't." Snake countered, crossing his arms. "I don't have faith you'll believe any of this, but I suggest you go along with it."
"Why should I?"
"Because if you don't, they'll find you." Snake explained. "They see you when you're sleeping, they know when you're awake, and they probably put a tracking device on you, and they know our location."
"Who are they?" Rosalina pushed. "Is it Santa Claus?" she laughed, waving her hands in addendum.
"No, don't do stupid." Snake laughed in concession. "It's the Winter Task Force, WTF."
"WTF?"
"Yes, a task force of Smash Fighters who all support Santa Claus in his endeavor." Snake explained.
"I've heard enough, just get me out of here." Rosalina sighed.
"Very well, there's a teleporter on the right side of the room." Snake explained, shaking his head. "It's a shame we'll have to wait another two years, but I'm sure you'll be fine." Snake shrugged as Rosalina walked towards the dark right side of the hollow room, feeling the ground shift from something stony to a sort of quartz material. "One more thing..."
"Hm?"
"The red smoke is an illusion." Snake finished as Rosalina felt herself suddenly spinning rapidly, like a crack addicted game of ring around the rosy, and everything went black until she simply appeared...
Outside of the mansion, a decent enough distance away from the place to call for a walk.
It was rather quiet, and slightly disorientated, Rosalina walked the path towards the mansion. The path wasn't that long, so she could see the hill the mansion was on in the distance, getting closer as she trudged onwards.
' Kinda cold... ' Rosalina shivered, the wintery air seeming to pierce her outfit, wrapping around her skin like a hostile snake. She rubbed her arms as she continued, though was slightly pushed off by a rustle in the grass. "Huh?" she questioned aloud.
…
Nothing responded.
Probably just a bug, or a rare beetle scuttling about. Nothing that worried her that much, so she continued on. Rosalina looked to her side to pass the time, the mansion wasn't that far away by now, and Rosalina turned back ahead, only for her head to bump into somebody.
"Oh!" the somebody exclaimed, Rosalina nearly falling flat on her back. AS she recoiled back, she could see Zelda standing there, holding a picnic basket that nearly spilled over in her right hand. Zelda was wearing the same dress she usually wore, but there was a red coat with a white cotton trim on the collar.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Rosalina apologized, brushing herself off. "Hi."
"Hey..." Zelda replied, brushing herself off as well. "Fancy seeing you here, isn't it?"
"You could say that." Rosalina conferred, her destination not far away.
"I was just going for a walk to a picnic." Zelda explained.
"At this hour?" Rosalina questioned, looking at the full moon in the skin. "Isn't it a bit... late?"
"Well, isn't it a bit late for you to be coming back?" Zelda probed. "Where were you anyways?"
"I was..." Rosalina paused for a moment, not sure whether she should actually tell where she was. Surely it didn't matter if she lied for now, after all, what harm would come from Zelda of all people. "I was just taking a stroll and got lost."
"Really, where did you stroll to?" Zelda pushed, leaning forward. "It's-"
Somebody else passed by. It was that Hero guy, the one with the long hair and large forehead. Though a very unimportant character, one who would never be a protagonist of any story, especially not a story you should read right now, and a character who would never appear again, Rosalina and Zelda waved as he passed by in a rush.
"Well anyways, it's kind of odd that you of all people would get lost." Zelda noted. "Considering there's nowhere to go besides the forest with a complex path."
"What are you saying?" Rosalina softly demanded, getting rather suspicious of her.
"Oh, don't worry about it honestly." Zelda shrugged, opening one of the flaps of the picnic basket, pulling out a cookie and holding it directly in Rosalina's face. It was in the shape of Santa Claus, black dots for eyes, a familiar red hat, and a white beard. "Want a cookie?"
"No, save those for your late-night picnic." Rosalina suggested. "I'm not hungry."
"You sure?" Zelda wondered, still holding her hand out firmly. "They taste quite good, try them." she insisted, waving it in Rosalina's face like she was a dog.
"Really, I'm fine." Rosalina affirmed, moving Zelda's hand out of her view. "Thank you for asking."
"Well, if you insist." Zelda huffed, placing the cookie back in the picnic basket and turning away. "Have a good night, Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas." Rosalina repeated, though it wasn't even a week till the day. Zelda walked past her, and Rosalina continued forward, though she did hear a few words from who she presumed to be Zelda it was hard to tell as she was a bit far away.
"She's heading up..." Zelda's voice said, though that was all she managed to pick up.
Rosalina finally made it to the bottom of the hill a minute later, a breeze blowing through the area yet again, it probably being the dead of the night at this point. Wondering the time, Rosalina quickly remembered that there was a clock inside of the mansion.
Knowing this full and well, she walked up the hill, nothing special about that, and pushed the door open, finding herself in the main foyer. Near the very top of the foyer, on the upstairs, there was a clock, one you could easily see from downstairs if you were looking.
But something was off about it.
The hour hand was gone, as was the minute hand, making the time impossible to know without another clock. There was a clock in the kitchen, a room which was directly left of the foyer, and with that being the closest one, Rosalina went for that one.
"Hey!" a voice called out from behind her just as she turned to the kitchen. Rosalina promptly turned around. It was Chrome- Chrom, it was Chrom, standing there in the middle of the foyer wearing a red coat, a white trim near the top. "What are you doing up so late?"
"I just took a stroll and got lost." Rosalina lied, repeating what she told Zelda.
"Really, to where did you stroll?" Chrom demanded, an inquisitive voice. "Because nobody saw you, we asked around."
"We?" Rosalina zoned in on. "Who's we?"
"WE." another voice said from the kitchen, Rosalina turning around and seeing Mario come forward in a red coat, one remarkably similar to Chrom's. "Hey Rosa."
"Hi Mario, nice coat." she complimented, backing up towards the doorway as Chrom and Mario pushed forward, nearly having backed her into a corner.
"Thanks." he acknowledged, nodding at her. "Anyways, according to what the three of us found, you were up north near the endless forest." he noted.
"The three of you?" Rosalina fretted, bumping into somebody behind her. She turned around and it was Zelda, the new Zelda wearing the same coat from before, the basket still in her hand.
"Hey again." Zelda greeted, and Rosalina waved. "You know, you usually don't come back for a couple of days when you enter the forest, and the... the..." Zelda tilted her head. "What was it?"
"The Winter Task Force." Mario reminded her. "It's not that hard."
"Oh, clam it up, it's my first year here!" Zelda countered. "Anyways, the Winter Task Force found that you came back within hours."
"Oh." Rosalina said, not sure how to respond.
"Hey, this is the part where you ask who the Winter Task Force are..." Zelda explained to her, though Rosalina wasn't quite all there at the moment, instead wondering why she was being surrounded.
"Oh, I think she already knows." Mario informed Zelda. "It won't matter soon anyways, just do the thing."
"So sorry about this." Chrom noted as Rosalina felt two hands wrap around both of her arms, but instead of just standing there like an idiot, she moved her arms back, promptly elbowing him in the stomach, Zelda talking a cookie out of the picnic basket, probably the same one from before, but Rosalina couldn't quite pay attention to that.
"Chrom, you can't just grab em, watch and learn." Mario sighed as Rosalina pushed her way past Chrom and made a dash towards the staircase. "Aim..." the sound of something powering up, a ping of noise getting increasingly intense was heard, but Rosalina still made her way up the stairs despite this, getting around halfway there, before she heard a singular word. "Fire."
{===}
Unknown Place, ? ? ? Days later...
Rosalina heard something faint enter her ears.
"She's coming to." a distant voice said as Rosalina felt everything around her. It was... a chair, she was in a chair and something was tied around her, some sort of rope perhaps.
"Why did we choose her again?" what appeared to be Chrom's voice asked.
"It wasn't my idea, ask Nick if you want?" Mario suggested.
"Nick?" Chrom questioned, Mario sighing in response.
"St. Nick, Santas Claus, that's his actual name." Mario said in a lofty tone. "I mean, it's not hard to remember."
Rosalina opened her eyes slowly, light pouring in, and revealing herself to be in a dark room, one with a single light, though said light was turned off, in the center. The room seemed empty, but soon enough a light flickered on, revealing...
Well, nobody.
The lights were on, however.
"Hello?" Rosalina greeted in a weak tone. "Hello, hello?" she repeated like she was recording a message to help somebody get settled in on their first night.
"Welcome." a deep and jolly voice said from what felt like directly in front of her, but still nobody showed. "I'm sure you have many questions, but first we have a few for you." the voice explained.
"W-"
The voice interrupted her sentence. "Where is the underground base you and your associates went to?" it demanded.
"I..." Rosalina looked around for some reason, but she found no answer. "I don't know what you're talking about." she found, shaking her head in tandem.
"Wrong." the voice corrected, extenuating the g. "Where were you?"
"I was..." Rosalina paused to remember what she said... was it yesterday when she said it? She wasn't sure, but she took a wild guess. "I was walking by the shoreline." she explained.
"You got lost by the shoreline?" the voice mused, slightly snickering. "Stop lying and answer my question."
"I'm not lying." Rosalina insisted. "Where is this?"
"That's not important." the voice asserted, clearly not being well set out for this. "ANSWER." the voice spat, in a slightly ominous tone.
"I did." Rosalina spoke back, her heart beating faster than a Dragonflies wings.
"This isn't going anywhere." the voice said, though it didn't sound as if it was talking to her. "Let's just get the CAE and get out." the voice noted, pronouncing CAE like Cay.
"Yeah, I agree." Mario's settled on. "Let's leave the room, I'd rather not see this."
"I also agree." Chrom spoke, the sound of a door creaking being heard. "You think that this'll actually work, or will it be another situation like B..."
…
So that was it for that rather short conversation, and Rosalina looked down to find herself tied with some sort of garland, the type you'd see at the Dollar Store, though it was clearly wrapped tightly around her enough to contract her movement.
Other than that, nothing.
There wasn't a door, there weren't any windows, and strangely there didn't seem to be a legitimate way out.
It was just a room.
A quaint little room.
A room that was changing colors.
A room that was changing form, actually. The room was shifting rapidly, though Rosalina didn't feel herself moving. It was as if the room was moving around her, and soon enough it was finished with its transformation. The floor was wooden, and the walls were gone, the table in front of her seemed to be gone as well.
It was sort of like she was on some sort of massive desk, and if this theory were true, then perhaps it would make sense for somebody to sit at that desk. Well, somebody did sit at that massive desk, and something about it honestly seemed sort of funny. It was Palutena, sitting at the opposite end of the "desk" that seemed quite far away from Rosalina's perspective.
It's a good thing that wasn't rated M, but ratings aside, something about this odd little situation seemed to instill a strange bout of fear into Rosalina, almost like something was going to happen.
"Hello." Palutena greeted, glaring down at Rosalina like she had committed a grave sin.
"Hi..." Rosalina responded, back a nervous chuckle somehow coming out in the middle of it all.
"I guess you must be really confused." Palutena noted, though her face had no sentiments of concern at all. "But that doesn't really matter now, does it?"
"I... I'm not sure..." Rosalina responded cautiously.
"Something the matter?" Palutena pushed, leaning slightly closer. "You seemed to be so adamant on telling me to... what was it again?" she questioned, putting a singular finger to the side of her face. "Oh yes, you were rather quick to tell me to shut up when I wasn't actually present, did something change?"
"..." Rosalina felt her face soften, and she almost apologized, but stopped herself from doing something. There was something red that Rosalina saw coming out of the corner of her eye, almost like some sort of mist, it caught her attention for a moment. "Huh?"
"You know, you seem awfully red..." Palutena noted, grabbing Rosalina's attention with a smirk on her face. "But I suppose being red won't help you here, will it?"
"I... don't believe so, no..." Rosalina agreed, her eyes still focused on the red mist, it seemed to be travelling upwards, though oddly it stopped at a certain point. "Why does this remind me of..." Rosalina stopped to think, but clearly Palutena didn't seem to be having any of it.
"Are you even listening to me?" Palutena asked, as her distant figure seemed to get closer. "You know, I could do a lot with you tied up there."
"HUH?!" Rosalina questioned, her shoulders suddenly tensing up. "Pardon?"
"Oh, so now you're back once I mention doing things to you..." Palutena exposed, letting out a slight chuckle. "Well, since we're on the subject of doing things, what were you doing the other day?"
"What was I doing?" Rosalina repeated, Palutena giving a little nod.
"Well, I know what you were doing, I just need to know where you were doing it." Palutena explained, her voice suggested, in a familiar tone. "I couldn't quite make out the exact location, almost like it was covered in some sort of smokescreen."
"I..." Rosalina paused for a moment. Where did she go anyways? She wasn't really paying attention of the direction, and all she saw was a blank forest below, at least that's the only thing that came to her mind. "I'm not sure exactly."
"Don't lie to me Rosie..." Palutena pleaded, walking her massive fingers across the table. "I'm positive you know." Palutena leaned forward on the desk and her shadow fell over Rosalina, her face directly above. "Come on, you used to tell me a lot, there's no reason you can't say anything now."
Rosalina felt her face light up like a Christmas tree as Palutena slinked back into her seat, leaning her head against her hand. "Well?" Palutena asked suggestively.
"I... I don't know really, I..." Rosalina faded off of her train of thought as she saw that red mist again, though it was far thicker than before, almost like a sort of red smoke-
..!
"The red smoke is an illusion." Snake said.
An illusion, what do you mean?
"How am I supposed to know, I'm just a flashback you're having." Snake countered.
Oh yeah...
"By the way, since it's that time of the year, would you like to hear about our lord and savior-"
Save it for the post credits scene.
"Alright, but remember the red smoke is an illusion."
Ok...
…!
"The red smoke..." Rosalina repeated, though the aforementioned smoke seemed to be wavering. Rosalina looked to where the smoke was coming from, and it seemed to be... her chair? Maybe her lower torso perhaps? But how exactly?
Was it even real?
…
Wait, was any of this even real?
It was like... it was kind of like Santa Claus if you think about it. Santa isn't real, and it's extremely improbable for this to be real either.
"Warning, levels of CAE critically low, Warning, levels of CAE critically low!" a robotic female voice said.
Palutena sounded heavily concerned. "But that's..." she shook her head. "Hey Rosie..." she spoke, though Rosalina wasn't really listening. "You know, I could sit in your la-"
It was cold.
Rosalina was standing in the middle of what appeared to be an icy field, a snowy field more like, with temperatures below freezing, she clearly wouldn't last. Rosalina picked herself up and began walking through the frigid winter, not a care in the world-
Everything was white, but it wasn't cold, more like very warm. Rosalina couldn't move, nor could she see, and she didn't know where she was. She could barely hear Palutena's voice, though what she was saying was unknown, it almost sounded...
Creepy.
"This real enough for you?" Palutena giggled, or at least that's what Rosalina assumed she heard.
But... what was that cold field all about?
…
Where was she?
Rosalina continued her trudge through the artic location, the tip of her nose frozen over from the immense cold. It seemed like she was getting nowhere, maybe she would die here? She'd been in the cold of space, but something about this seemed worse than space. Maybe not though...
Maybe it was okay...
In the distance, there seemed to be something, something of a brown, beiges color...
Maybe that would help?
Rosalina made her way towards it, her feet shuffling in the thick snow below her, her entire vision cloaked in a white... fabric?
Rosalina felt Fabric everywhere, fabric that pinned her down to the point where she couldn't move, fabric that seemed-
There wasn't any fabric, it was just snow. Only plain white, boring snow that didn't have anything interesting about it. The... the brown thing. It looked like a box almost, some sort of cardboard box. She was getting close; it was maybe twenty feet away.
…
All she had to do was walk forward-
Palutena spoke, "Rosalina, I will literally shove you in my-"
No, Palutena didn't speak. Palutena wasn't there honestly. It was just... that box. Rosalina made it to the box, and on top of the box there was a Walkie-Talkie, a black one that seemed to be functional, but it was incredibly cold to the touch. Rosalina picked the Walkie-Talkie up and pressed the button on the side.
"Hello?" she asked, hoping for a response.
A couple seconds later, two voices were heard. Bowser spoke first, "IT ACTUALLY WORKED, YOUR PLAN WORKED SNAKE." Bowser congratulated.
"Never mind that, what it means is that she can gather information for us before she leaves." Snake explained. "Rosalina, are you there?"
"Yes... where am I?" she wished.
"You're in the north pole, or what those who don't believe consider the north pole to be." Snake explained. "But never mind that, the battery is about to go dead on this thing and we're out of Double A's."
"I'll buy some next week." Bowser assured.
"Anyways, once you put this Walkie-Talkie down, think of a cold dark room with ceiling light, alright?" Snake commanded, and Rosalina took in his words mentally.
"Okay, but-"
"And once you're there, push whoever is in the room into the corner, grab the knife from the corner of the room, and get them to tell you everything." Snake explained. "Oh, god—batteries—this is why- don't use- dollar store batteries!"
"Snake?" Rosalina yelled into the Walkie-Talkie but got no response. "Snake? SNAAAAAKE?!"
…
A... cold dark room with a ceiling light?
An image flashed into Rosalina's head of something similar, but it faded as quickly as it came.
"A... dark room, cold..." Rosalina said aloud, instilling the thought into her mind. "A... cold... dark...room?!"
Rosalina opened her eyes, and saw Palutena all up in her face, seeming to be shaking her ferociously like some sort of lion. Not feeling tied up, Rosalina took the initiative and pushed Palutena to the ground, looking to the corner and seeing a table labeled "CBT," but she ignored the label, and grabbed a comically large knife from the table, and pointed it towards Palutena's throat.
…
"Huh... wha- what are?" Palutena asked in a flurry, seeming somehow embarrassed from the position she was in. "How... how did you..."
"Shut up for a moment." Rosalina declared, trying to wrap her head around everything. "Okay... you... I... where am I?" she decided upon.
"I don't have to tell you anyt-" Rosalina pushed the knife close to Palutena, though a part of her wasn't sure whys he was worried, especially considering she was a goddess. "UH... we're at the north pole!"
"Where at the north pole?" Rosalina demanded.
"Santas Workshop, it's smack dab in the center, you can't miss it!" Palutena explained, almost genuine fear in her voice. Almost. "Uh... what are you going to do with the knife?"
"Uh..." Rosalina didn't know what to say, she had honestly never done anything like this. "I'll... that doesn't matter, how do I get out of here?"
"Rosie, pro tip, that's now how you Dom somebody."
"I BEG YOUR PARDON?!" Rosalina screeched, wanting to fling herself against the wall. "I... uh...what..."
"Here you go again, stuttering like a maniac." Palutena sighed, standing up. "I guess he assumed that it wouldn't be me here, did he?"
"Huh?" Rosalina questioned, not sure what she meant.
"In case you haven't realized by now, I'm on your side, dummy." Palutena explained, pushing her hair back. "This whole thing has been going on for longer than you'd think..."
"Uh... what was all that for then?!" Rosalina asked, not sure if this was even the truth. "Couldn't you have just... said so?!"
"It wouldn't have been fun if I had just said so, now would it?" Palutena asked. "Anyways, if we're gonna get out of here alive, I can either shrink you and hide you somewhere, or you can follow me in a completely inconspicuous cardboard box."
"I mean, the poison mushrooms don't really do much though." Rosalina noted, remembering a distant battle from the past where she got hit by a poison mushroom and died.
"No, it's more like the kind of technology the use to make Olimar a viable fighter, drastically changing your size, you know?" Palutena asked. "Think of that but opposite."
"I'll take the cardboard box." Rosalina insisted.
"Suit yourself." Palutena sighed, motioning over to the far-left side of the room, where a brown cardboard box stood, one that looked sort of familiar to the one in the snowy field. "Just crawl under the box, I'll do the rest from there."
"Okay..." Rosalina responded, turning her back to Palutena and heading towards the box.
"Wow..." Palutena laughed. "I didn't think that'd actually work." she laughed, confusing Rosalina for a moment. "That was easy."
Then, Rosalina felt something jab into her back, and everything faded to black...
{===}
Next chapter is gonna be looooooooong
See you on Christmas for the finale nobody asked for.
Also, if you're confused, I don't blame you, this is really... not Christmas if we're being honest.
More like sci-fi but not sci-fi because I don't like sci-fi.
Also, Drama aside thanks for reading this if you've read both the chapters. If you're wondering how this is shipping, wait till the third chapter compadre.
It's just not very apparent because of my... "Less is more" attitude when it comes to writing shipping, but I'll explain more in the third chapter.
Have fun and have a decent Christmas.
Just kidding, Christmas is over you broomstick.