a/n: ain't that the biggest worm
There were lots of things that Keswick still didn't understand about Earth. Luckily Dudley was a pretty good wall to vent his confusions to.
Currently, Keswick was on the couch and Dudley was spread across his lap with a brand-new squeaky toy.
"I don't get you and your love for gr-grapes."
Squeaaakk.
"Like, f-f-feral dogs are deathly allergic to grapes."
Sqqueak.
"How non-f-f-f-feral stomachs handle them? I've seen you d-down grapes and the only time you've gotten sick was when you ate the st-stem. Vine?"
Sq-squeak!
"I mean, I guess you've never eaten an av-ava-c-c-cado or a cherry or a raisin. I think you've eaten every other dog-safe fruit."
Sq-squea-squeak!
"Maybe not lemons. But you like lemonade."
Sqea-squeak!
Keswick leaned back and hummed, stroking his back. Dudley's tag wagged a bit harder.
"...I've n-never seen you eat an apple."
"Apples are gross!"
Keswick jumped a bit, expecting another enthusiastic squeak instead of Dudley's just-as-loud voice.
"...have you actually been l-listening?"
"Not until you mentioned that cursed fruit!"
Keswick giggled. "How are apples cur-cur-cursed?"
"The skin is hard!" Dudley started, Keswick laughing all the way through, "It's hard to bite into and it's hard to actually chew correctly to swallow! And then the inside is always so juicy and it just gets all over my mouth and shirt and me makes me so sticky! And then the actual good part is just all gross and sour and it's not even worth the trouble."
Keswick snorted, "Dudley, can you-" giggle "-can you tell me the color of the sk-sk-skin of the apples you've been eating?"
"Green. Why?"
Keswick giggled again, unable to keep himself from smiling. "My next p-p-paycheck I'm going to buy you some red apples. They're sw-sweeter."
Dudley turned up from his toy, eyes wide in genuine surprise. "What?"
Keswick snorted again. There sure were alot of things Keswick didn't understand about Earth.
a/n: i don't have many ideas for this fic anymore. here's one abt me releasing my frustrations about apples and also the fact dudley likes grapes so darn much
i lov a laughy lad