"Snake, it's Christmas Eve..." Bowser complained, he and snake both in the main roo, of their base of operations. He was pacing around the main room, both of them concerned for their plan and the chance that it won't go through. "She's not coming."
"That's impossible, she should've done everything correctly." Snake supposed, though Bowser wasn't so sure.
"Yeah, she's probably already been wiped, I bet she's a part of the squad now." Bowser assumed, getting a glare from Snake. "Well, we head out today anyways, if she's there we get her out of the way, if she's not then that's one less person to deal with."
"I hate to say it, but you're right." Snake confirmed blankly. "Well, we have everything we need, wrapping paper, bombs, a gun, AA batteries, what else did you bring?"
"A pack of gum." Bowser added, holding up a pack on convivence store gum, though five out of seven sticks were missing. "I found in in the trash."
"I figured as much." Snake sighed, turning away. "Remember, if we fail, we'll never get the chance to do this again, EVER." he stressed. "Need to go over the plan again?"
"Oh come on, we literally just dig a tunnel, it can't be that hard." Bowser recalled. "I'm ready whenever you are."
"Alright then, let's move out."
CHRISTMAS IS OVER
The Final Chapter
Disclaimer: Some may find this last chapter... how do I say this? Ah yes, this last chapter is not Christmas. If you wanted a nice Christmas tale, there's actually this really good Smash Christmas fanfiction about... Zelda I think? Don't quote me on that, but sort by new and you'll find it eventually. Anyways, please take a seat and enjoy, your show is about to begin.
Rosalina opened her eyes, and she felt as if she had just woken up from a hangover. Her eyes began to focus, though not on much considering the room she was in was pitch black. She could faintly see the outline of what looked to be a tiny lightbulb above, though it wasn't on.
"Where am I?" Rosalina questioned, her eyes darting around in the darkness.
Suddenly the light flickered on, and Rosalina could see the white table she was sitting at for the most part. A voice cleared its throat and Rosalina looked to the corner, only to see the dimly lit silhouette of the plumber himself, Mario. Mario walked up and sat at the other side of the table, not saying a word, Rosalina now fully awake.
"Hey." Mario suddenly said like all of this was normal. "You feeling okay?"
"I feel... lightheaded I suppose." Rosalina answered, getting a strange feeling that she couldn't quite grasp. "Where are we?"
"The North Pole." Mario answered.
"Huh?!" Rosalina asked, certain she was just in the Smash Mansion walking away from the auditorium before something stabbed into her back. "Why are we at the north pole?"
"Oh, you know, just cause." Mario brushed off, waving his hand in exaggeration. "Anyways, we should probably head back to the mansion, you we're out for a while."
"I was... out?" Rosalina repeated, not sure what he meant.
"Yeah, you probably don't remember, but you tried to get Wii Fit Trainer a gift but got really stressed out according to what people around you said." Mario explained. "We had to bring you to our hospital in the north pole in order to treat you."
"Oh, so like what happened to Bowser?" Rosalina queried.
Mario raised an eyebrow, but he quickly lowered it. "Yeah... like what happened to Bowser." he confirmed, trailing off. "Anyways, we just need to... check a couple things to make sure you're alright."
"Who's we?" Rosalina wondered.
"Me and the other guys, well other girl, it was her idea to bring you here." Mario explained, though he didn't specify who this "her" was, a thought flashing in Rosalina's mind, but it quickly subsided.
"Well, I probably need to work on getting that gift for Wii Fit Trainer-" Rosalina noted, but Mario interrupted.
"Eh, don't worry about that actually, we decided to handle that for you." Mario explained, standing up from his seat. "Anyways, see you in a bit."
"Alright, see you later Mario..." Rosalina waved as Mario opened a door and exited the room, leaving her stranded in this room alone. Kind of strange she had to be taken to the North Pole, but you could trust Mario.
…
So why did something seem off about this?
Her mind was honestly drawing a blank, she had no idea what day it was, and top it all off apparently somebody elsse will probably be entering the room soon...
"Hm." Rosalina pondered, looking towards the door. There was nothing stopping her from walking out...
{===}
"Alright, we're here." Bowser whispered, him and Snake having landed on the far north shore of the arctic. Because this is an espionage fanfiction apparently, the two were decked out in the essentially stealth gear, no Sheikah armor, but instead the best gear of all, a cardboard box.
A very inconspicuous cardboard box.
"Yeah, we literally arrived five minutes ago." Snake noted.
"Sorry, I just needed to make it clear to... well nobody really, I just figures saying it out loud would give a good establishing time for anybody listening in to relate to." Bowser explained, getting an odd look. "Anyways, you finally did the thing?"
"Yes, it's ready to go." Snake confirmed, holding a sheet of paper in his hand. "Since we're here, let's go over the plan one more time, just to drill it into your head."
The plannnnnnnn...
"First, we think of what the building looks like, we already know that, so once we do we have to walk towards it without alerting the guards!"
Bowser imagined himself and Snake running past the guards effortlessly, not even getting seen in the corner of an eye.
"Then, once we're near the access point, we blow up the wall with my C4." Snake reminded, and Bowser imagined snake yelling, "THERE." at the top of his lungs and the wall disintegrating into pieces, revealing the exact room they were headed to, no strings attached.
"Gotcha." Bowser confirmed.
"Then we rush to the big man's room, and then... well you already know what happens then." Snake finished.
"Yep, then we pull out the thing!" Bowser confirmed, totally ready for what the thing was. "This plan totally won't go wrong, its physically impossible!"
"I know right, three years in the making, and finally it's complete." Snake semi-celebrated, though it was in a minute tone. "No way this can possibly fail."
"No way at all!" Bowser declared, pumping his fist into the air. "Let's get in and out with absolutely nothing stopping us whatsoever."
"Absolutely!" Snake conferred back.
"100%!" Bowser exclaimed ferociously.
"..." Snake looked at Bowser, and Bowser looked back with a similar look of disappointment. Snake sighed, "Let's just get this over with."
{===}
Rosalina exited the room into the hallway...
The hallway was honestly rather small, being maybe three feet wide, and no other doors besides the one that Rosalina came out of. The halls stretched on, but it didn't look like a hospital, more like a military base honestly...
Nothing to distract you on the walls, no interesting floor patterns or anything, just kind of like...
…
Nothing. Rosalina decided to turn left, having decided off of a whim, and as she made her way down the hallway, something about it all seemed familiar. Walking down a hallway, not this specific hallway obviously, but something about this...
Yeah, something kind of reminded her of something.
…?
"How about Santa Claus?" Rosalina suggested, delving into the holiday theme. "No, that's not good, he isn't even real," Rosalina doubted, as she thought of something else.
"Woah, slow down there, you think Santa isn't real?" Bowser questioned, seeming baffled as the two reached the bottom of the staircase. "Then where do your gifts come from on Christmas Eve?"
"Aren't you an adult?" Rosalina interrogated. "Surely you of all would know he doesn't exist."
"Please, I get gifts from him every year, explain that." Bowser attempted to counter.
"Kamek." Rosalina objected, brushing off his statement completely as they passed another person and began walking into the downstairs hallway. "I mean, I imagine you have a temper-"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE A TEMPER?!" Bowser exclaimed, though he honestly seemed as furious as a French poodle in this situation considering the topic.
…?
"Huh?"
She and Bowser were talking about Santa Claus? Strange, she didn't remember that happening, but you typically don't remember everything that happens every single day, so perhaps it just fell out of here memory, like how Goldfish can't remember most things.
Though Rosalina didn't consider herself a goldfish, more like a catfish, but that was another story. The hallway ended soon, and Rosalina promptly turned at the corner finding herself to be face to face with a door, kind of like the type you'd see in the middle of a High School hallway.
She opened the doors, and...
Well, that was quite odd.
The swirling abyss of the artic waited outside. Mario certainly wasn't lying when he said they were in the North Pole, but odd that the "building" they were in would be a stationary hallway and nothing else. Adding to the goldfish analogy, something about this all seemed rather fishy, but what about it was wasn't readily apparent.
Rosalina exited the "building" and made a few paces forward before looking back at it.
As it turns out, the building wasn't a hallway, rather some sort of factory looking building, grey and rather smoggy walls, the look almost like an eight of a factory, sort of like the hallway was cut off and pushed somewhere else. But where were the other parts?
And why wasn't it cold...?
…
Rosalina walked forward, and it's a shame this couldn't be descirbed in more detail, because it's December 24th, and I gotta get this thing out by Christmas or I'll be a failure of the highest degree, and we simple can't have that happen.
I mean- Rosalina walked until she came in contact with some sort of invisible wall, like a bad game developer put it there, and it seemed she couldn't go any further. It appeared she was in some sort of invisible hallway, but why?
She had been able to see the hallway before, so there surely couldn't be a reason for her to not see it now.
"Can you believe this?" a muffled voice yelled, though from where she couldn't decipher. "It's been years and he hasn't painted the walls with my suggestion."
"Well, he get's a lot of suggestions." another voice reminded the first voice. "B'sides, I quite like the color anyways, who cares if it's drab?" the other voice added. "It matchs the floors."
"Dude, it's brown." the first voice complained. "Brown wood sucks, Birch is better."
"You mean Dark Oak?"
"...who the hell are you the wood expert?"
"Dark Oak walls?" Rosalina asked herself quietly, still not seeing anything. Though the thought of the Dark Oak floor and matching brown walls seemed to help her visualize something. Sort of like an extension to the hallway she entered, the dark oak floors coming into place, and...
She was in a hallway, standing right outside of a door.
…
HOW... ahem, how did she just do that?
That didn't make any sense, but something about it all almost seemed...
Familiar.
Something about how the snow turned into a room she could visualize...
Cue funny flashback...
It was cold.
Rosalina was standing in the middle of what appeared to be an icy field, a snowy field more like, with temperatures below freezing, she clearly wouldn't last. Rosalina picked herself up and began walking through the frigid winter, not a care in the world...
… n "Okay, but-"
"And once you're there, push whoever is in the room into the corner, grab the knife from the corner of the room, and get them to tell you everything." Snake explained. "Oh, god—batteries—this is why- don't use- dollar store batteries!"
"Snake?" Rosalina yelled into the Walkie-Talkie but got no response. "Snake? SNAAAAAKE?!"
…
A... cold dark room with a ceiling light?
An image flashed into Rosalina's head of something similar, but it faded as quickly as it came.
"A... dark room, cold..." Rosalina said aloud, instilling the thought into her mind. "A... cold... dark...room?!"
End funny flashback...
"A cold dark room?" Rosalina asked herself, not sure what these generically blatant memories were telling her. "I swear, this would be far more efficient if a wall just blew up with a massive text dump telling me where I am." she sighed.
Still confused as ever, she turned towards the recently appearing hallway and began walking down...
{===}
"Alright, we made it to the rendezvous point." Bowser confirmed, them having snuck past the guard in a tense action sequence that was probably cooler than this entire chapter, but couldn't be shown thanks to a time crunch.
"Yeah, we arrived two minutes ago." Snake reminded him, having set up a barrels worth of C4 on the wall where... look, do you really care about the wall? The point is, it was a wall where they couldn't be seen. Like all Snake mains, Snake was prepared to detonate the explosives in an instant, but also like all Snake mains he was waiting until the time was correct.
"Yeah, why haven't we blown up the wall yet?" Bowser questioned, freezing his tail off. "I mean, there's nothing stopping us."
"Have you forgotten?" Snake asked, and yes Bowser HAD forgotten whatever he was talking about. "What do you think will happen if we blow up the wall?"
"We get in there and knock some heads?" Bowser guessed, holding his arms out.
"No, if we blow up the wall right now, while there's nobody on the other side of the wall, we have a higher chance of being heard."
"Eh?"
"If we blow up the wall while somebody is behind it, there's a chance that, the person being the only one nearby will be... well, the only one nearby, allowing us more leeway in not being detected, making this easier."
"Okay, but we could also just blow up the wall, I'm cold." Bowser complained.
"I do agree we should hurry up, but just wait a bit longer." Snake implored.
"All we have to do is-" Snake suddenly paused and lurched towards the wall in a stiff motion, holding his ear close to one of the C4. "Someone is there." she noted, swerving back towards Bowser.
"Well, that's awfully convenient that as soon as you bring it up somebody-"
"Shut up and take cover." Snake suggested, rolling twice and ducking behind a mount of snow that should in no way protect anybody from an explosion, but Bowser could handle it, he'd been thrown into lava more times than he could count.
"Ok, so I imagine you just blow up the wall or something with a button ri-"
"THERE!" Snake screamed at the top of his lungs, pressing a detonator, and the C4 exploding instantly, blowing up the wall, but thankfully not the foundations of the building. As the smoke cleared and they both leaned forwards to see if anybody was there, somebody spoke.
"What the?" a voice that was definitely that of Rosalina said. Rosalina stepped out of the building and peered at Snake and Bowser who were equally surprised.
"She's here?" Snake asked himself, a hand to his chin. "That honestly makes sense..." he added, taking a step forward.
"Yeah, I guess so." Bowser added, Rosalina looking more confused than a Paper Mario fan when somebody doesn't like TTYD. "Let's get to a safe room, we should probably fill her in on what we're doing."
"No, we'll fill her in here, if we go inside we have a higher chance of being spotted." Snake countered.
"We literally blew up a wall, I think they know where we are." Bowser shot back, and Snake paused for a moment before nodding. "Fair."
"Hold on a moment, what's going on here?" Rosalina spoke, a clear tone of unknowing in her voice.
"Don't worry, we'll explain everything, but first we have to Jumpcut to a nonspecific saferoom!"
Inexplicable Jumpcut!
(Insert guitar rift here)
"...and that's the plan." Snake finished explained, and Rosalina had no idea why he only said "And that's the plan." and nothing else.
"I'm confused, I literally don't get anything you just said." Rosalina answered while Bowser waited in the corner of the nonspecific room which was moderately close to where the explosion hole was, but not too close to where it would be obvious to anyone passing by.
Yes, that was crucial information, don't worry about it, that will totally come into play later.
"I guess she has short term memory loss or something?" Bowser guessed. "Probably got it from being in space so long without any actual food to eat."
"How is that correlated?"
"I will now pass the conversation over to Snake." Bowser declared, the metaphorical camera shifting over to Snake. "Snake, if you will?"
"Thank's Bowser." Snake acknowledged, taking the pass. "Listen, I imagine you're very confused about all of this, but if we're being completely honest, we have about ten minutes until they figure out where the people who blew a hole in the wall went, so you either follow us or die."
"But why would I follow you?" Rosalina asked, holding her hands to the side. "Mario literally said he had to take me to the North Pole hospital, and you two just blew up a wall and tell me to follow?!"
"Well yes, that is what we did." Snake confirmed, not seeming to get the bigger picture.
"But why?" Rosalina pleaded. "I don't even know what you're planning to do."
"Kill Santa Claus of course, we told you this already." Bowser spoke up.
Rosalina paused and like before something came up in her mind. "Kill..."
JRPG Flashback, GO!
"What we're doing here is simple." Bowser declared, grasping the air.
"Our ULTIMATE task!" Snake pronounced emphasizing ultimate.
Bowser smirked. "We..."
Snake held his hand up and posed. "Are going to..."
"What?" the familiar voice in her head asked, and Rosalina conferred the same thought.
Rosalina gawked as Bowser and Snake pulled the cloth off of the canvas, setting the cloth to the side revealing a single picture. It was one of a portly man in a red suit and matching hat. There was a single word painted next to the picture, that being "kill" in bright red paint.
It was simple apparently, yet Rosalina still had no idea.
"We're going to kill Santa Claus." they both said in unison.
JRPG Flashback, come back!
"Oh wait... you did say that..." Rosalinia realized, though something about it all was still missing.
Bowser chuckled, "Y'know there's no real point of memory loss if she's just gonna gain em all back in five minutes."
"Look it's 1:42 on Christmas day, let's cut everybody some slack, alright?" Snake pleaded, hint hint. "Some people are just very lazy."
"Can we focus?" Rosalina shot in, her head feeling funny, quite unlike this fanfiction. "I... think I kind of get what's going on... me and Bowser were talking about something, then... I was in the snow and there was something about batteries, and then... you told me about killing Santa Claus right?"
"Well, not in that order but sort of." Snake confirmed. "Anyways, we need to get going." he commanded, walking towards the door of the room, the nonspecific room which was moderately close to where the explosion hole was, but not too close to where it would be obvious to anyone passing by.
See, I told you it would come back!
"Okay, um where are we going again?" Rosalina asked, heading towards the door as well.
"Well, because of time constraints there are actually only two rooms between us and Santa Claus, a larg room suited for large gatherings on people-"
"An auditorium." Bowser explained. "Uh, it's like a big red room because Christmas is red, do you get it?"
Neither Snake or Rosalina responded, and Snake continued a bit thereafter. "And finally Santa's room."
"This is so..." Rosalina was about to add onto her statement, btu we don't have time for that! We gotta hurry to meet the nonexistent deadline that was promised. The three made their way out of the room, the nonspecific room which was moderately close to where the explosion hole was, but not too close to where it would be obvious to anyone passing by.
See, it came back two times now!
The hallway was oddly empty despite the cold wind blowing in from the gaping hole in the wall, the door ahead being closed, a door that was wooden in frame and above read, "Vos sunt vere hic usura reddo"
"Is that Latin?" Rosalina wondered aloud, attempting to pronounce the words in her head.
"I don't know, but that part doesn't matter right now, we have to hurry and head inside." Snake declared, looking forward. "You know what else doesn't matter?"
"What?"
"A smooth transition into the next scene!" Snake roared, kicking the door down like he was some sort of All Star.
The door's hinges broke, revealing what Snake had corroborated, and large room with red walls and literally nothing else. The three walked inside the room, but there was no ambush from what they could see.
"Wow, are we really that short on time that we can't even have a short action scene?" Bowser scoffed.
But a voice coming from the ceiling seemed to prove him wrong, a voice that struck a rather familiar tone to Rosalina. "Not today!" Mario's voice declared, the plumber landing in the center of the room, wearing a red coat on his back. "Well, I honestly didn't expect you get here so early."
"Mario!" Bowser shouted, pointed forward with rage in his voice. "Hey, how's it going?" Bowser asked in a softer tone.
"It's going okay, could be better." Mario responded shrugging. "Anyways, if you three think you're going to get past the four of us, you've got another thing coming."
"Okay, we'll see about that." Snake shot back, pulling out a grenade in one of his hands.
"Yeah, uh..." Mario scratched the side of his head. "This is usually the part where you ask who the other three are, you know?"
"Don't care." Bowser answered in a lax tone.
"I mean, it's kind of a tradition whenever someone-"
"We said we don't care." Bowser interrupted as Snake nonchalantly threw a grenade towards Mario, then another, then another.
Mario seemed honestly concerned, though not about the high octane explosives surrounding him, "I get that, but to keep the narrative theme going you should really ask out of courtesy-"
"Eh, not really feeling it." Bowser responded, crossing his arms. At this point Mario was surrounded by six grenades, and Snake walked over to him with what looked to be a C4 in his hand.
"Hold this please." Snake implored Mario, who nodded and took the C4 like it was some kind of candy bar.
"Thanks." Mario responded, gripping the C4 in his hand, Snake walking back to Bowser and her. "Anyways, Bowser I get you're the bad guy, not to quote Billie Eilish, but-" Mario suddenly paused an looked down to the explosives surrounding him and on his hand. "Okay, I'll admit you got me-"
"THERE!" Snake finished for Mario, creating a massive explosion in the rooms center, the impact of the blast blowing Rosalina's hair back.
"Talk about an easy victory." Snake scoffed, turning his back as the explosion cleared.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." an unfamiliar voice declared, three figures dropping down from the sky. It was... uh... was it Chrome? She wanted to say Chrome, but maybe she was a letter off. Chrom- it was Chrom, definitely Chrom. Chrom, Zelda, and... Palutena...
...ohmygodanotherflashback!
"I'll take the cardboard box." Rosalina insisted.
"Suit yourself." Palutena sighed, motioning over to the far-left side of the room, where a brown cardboard box stood, one that looked sort of familiar to the one in the snowy field. "Just crawl under the box, I'll do the rest from there."
"Okay..." Rosalina responded, turning her back to Palutena and heading towards the box.
"Wow..." Palutena laughed. "I didn't think that'd actually work." she laughed, confusing Rosalina for a moment. "That was easy."
Then, Rosalina felt something jab into her back, and everything faded to black...
Well,atleastthisonewasshort!
' Wait, Palutena quite literally backstabbed me? ' Rosalina asked herself, and yes that is indeed what the flashback just confirmed.
"We're here to stop you, and all that..." Zelda declared, not at all sure of herself. "Did I say that right?" she asked Chrom who nodded. "Alright!"
"Alright, I'll take Roy-"
"It's Chrom!" Chrom responded.
"Chrom..." Snake corrected, continuing soon afterwards. "Bowser you take Zelda, Rosalina you take the other one."
Rosalina turned to Snake heavily confused. "Wait, but I don't even have Luma." she explained.
"No Johns." Snake responded, pulling out some sort of rocket launcher. "Now fight!"
3...
2...
1..
GO!
Bowser immediately rushed towards Zelda, Snake predictably launched a rocket in Chrom's direction, and Rosalina honestly wanted to be somewhere else, but it seemed something (the plot) was stopping her from leaving.
"What do I do?" Rosalina asked Snake who seemed to be going for some complex grenade setups.
"This is a shipping fanfiction, right?" Snake asked as Chrom made attempts to find an opening.
"Yeah, why?"
"Well, with this being the last chapter, you should probably do some shipping stuff while we handle this actually interesting stuff off screen." Snake explained, trying to keep everyone happy.
"Okay, but how exactly do I go about doing that?"
Bowser then shot it dodging Zelda's easily telegraphed attacks I'm not describing because it's 8:30PM. "Just wing it, it's what I do with Peach all the time."
"Okay, I'll try that!" Rosalina responded, turning back and- oh god Palutena was standing right in front of her.
"Well, isn't it quaint to find you here?" she asked, but seemed to be done with everything. "Let's cut to the chase here, since we don't have enough time I should probably explain my motives, yes?"
"I... suppose so?" Rosalina guessed, kind of confused why everyone was mentioning an arbitrary time limit.
"Well, remember back at the end of the for 3ds and Wii U tournament?" Palutena questioned, and Rosalina nodded, though she didn't have enough time for a flashback. "Yeah, when the event happened."
"Yeah, the event." Rosalina replied, not really wanting to get into it. "What about it?"
"Well, considering how it wasn't you could assume I wasn't exactly happy about how the event happened."
"Can you two stop being so cryptic and get this over with?!" Bowser pleaded as he stopped Zelda from summoning a phantom. "It's 10:14 PM!"
"Anyways." Palutena sighed, ignoring Bowser completely. "To speed this up, I learned about this Christmas crap, blah blah blah, I set up this convoluted plan because I still have feeling or something, blah blah blah, date me now."
"I..." Rosalina held a hand up to her face, looking more confused then a Geno fan when the mii costume was released. "No."
"I beg your pardon?" Palutena laughed, her head tilting slightly.
"No, just no." Rosalina responded. "I mean, I kind of got over you... kind of."
"You didn't." Palutena corrected her, and she was technically right.
"Ok, I didn't, but I just... don't want to do that all again." Rosalina explained. "Honestly, I'd rather date like, Wario right now then date you again."
Rosalina shuddered, not wanting to imagine the garbage that would come with daring Wario. "I mean, you're... you're nice I suppose, but honestly, the event really just... was a big No from me."
"Alright, that's it!" Bowser yelled, getting in between the two. "Listen up girls, the nice viewers came here to read a non-Christmas Christmas fanfiction, and not listen to all this boring garbage shipping nonesense!" he declared. "Everyone stop fighting, we need to resolve this immediately."
Chrom and Zelda nodded and walked over, but Snake stood behind for whatever reason. "What is it?" Zelda asked.
"Alright Rosalina, first of all stop being such a moron and just say you're uncofortable around her, like this is just the most awkward thing, am I right fellas?" Bowser asked, getting nods from everyone except Rosa and Palutena.
…
Clank...
Wait...
A grenade rolled over to near where the group was, and Rosalina looked at Snake who put a finger over his mouth. She nodded, and went along with it.
"Wow, lecturing a goddess, are you?" Palutena brushed off. "What do you know about relationships, you aren't even with Peach."
"A goddess that gets beat by some guy with a sword." Bowser added, and Palutena turned away crossing her arms as another grenade landed nearby.
"He's not wrong." Chrom noted, and Palutena glared at him. "Eh, sorry."
"Now, speaking of Palutena." Bowser began. "Ever heard of consent?"
"What do you think?" Palutena asked, clearly not having any of this. "Listen, there's like an entire plot about whatever the hell CAE is, we kinda need to explain that, so..."
"Zelda, explain it and I'll give you five dollars." Bowser implored, and Zelda seemed up to the task.
"CAE, Christmas Apathy Energy, it's from people who couldn't care less about Christmas." she explained. "Uh, long story short Mario made a deal with Santa like back in the Brawl tournament that every other he'd collect CAE from a fighter of his choice." she continued. "It comes out in different ways from different people, and it just so happens that it only happens when Rosalina is embarrassed."
"Yeah, I figured that out long ago, and applied it here." Palutena added.
"Great, now that that's settled, let's pass it over to Snake." Bowser implored, as at least seventeen grenades were on the floor around them, but nobody seemed to notice. "Snake, if you will."
"Ahem." Snake grunted, getting everyone's attention. He was holding a gift in his hands, and Bowser silently pulled Rosalina away from the group taking out a foldable chair.
"This was the plan, it's really great." Bowser said, chilling in the chair.
"What is it?" Rosalina whispered, leaning towards Bowser.
"Well, we knew the last chapter wouldn't be done on time, so instead of an actual action scene we knew we'd have something lame and copped out like this, and as such, this can happen."
"Rosalina wished to give you a gift actually." Snake explained to Palutena. "But if you don't want it, I mean..."
"Of course, I want it!" Palutena declared, snatching the gift box away from Snake.
"Happy Holidays." Snake said, Rosalina kind of in disbelief of what was happening. "I'll give you privacy while you three open her present."
With that Snake walked over to Bowser and Rosalina and pulled out hid own foldable chair, chillaxing in it. "You want to finish this off?" Snake asked Rosalina, handing her the detonator.
"Sure, why not." Rosalina sighed, taking it from his hands. She watched as Palutena opened the box, Chrom and Zelda leaning in to see what it was. Palutena ripped the top of the box open and everyone in the trio's eyes widened as they looked to the floor around them.
Palutena looked at Rosalina with wide eyes. "Before you blow us up, can I-"
"No." Rosalina responded, pressing the detonator and another similarly large explosion to that of what happened with Mario happened, leaving the three's unconscious bodies on the ground.
"Now we need to do is go to Santa Claus." Snake declared.
"Why though?" Rosalina rebutted.
"Because I said so." Snake responded, holding a pistol in his hands. They didn't have to go far however, as from the door on the far side of the auditorium, somebody walked out. A fat portly man with a red suit and tie walked out.
"Ho ho ho-" Snake shot his gun at him, killing him instantly.
"Well, that was anticlimactic." Bowser noted.
"What, you expected some kind of big epic boss battle with themes of Christmas and relationship intertwined with a mysterious narrative?" Snake laughed. "Sorry, that's only for good fanfiction, something the author clearly can't write."
"Why... why did we even do this?" Rosalina questioned, confused out of her mind. "I mean... we kind of have to clean all of this up, you know?"
"Well, at least we ruined Christmas for the entire universe." Bowser reminded her, not at all helping. "Look on the bright side, our goal of doing something stupid has affected millions of other people negatively all because we never stopped to think if this was a good idea."
"What is this, Twitter?" Rosalina asked, laughing slightly at her joke.
"You're not funny." Snake spat, not at all impressed by her joke. "Let's wipe their memories and get out of here."
"I agree." Bowser added on.
"Yeah, besides this fanfiction is getting way too long, at this point it'll probably just cut off rand-"
THE END
Uh...
EST Timezone, so I'm not late, you're late!
Yeah, this was never meant to be good, it's one of those stories I wrote to do something in my spare time and... yeah. You don't have to review, I know it's bad like I said, but like... you know, writing for the same three fanfictions gets boring sometimes, sometimes you just gotta be stupid.
I had a HOOT writing this last chapter, sorry to anyone who followed for actual substance, fucking hell...
Uh...
OH my god, I don't know why I find writing this so funny, but I'm actually crying at how stupid this chapter was. My god, I love comedy.
A digress.
Also:
I got Mii Swordfighter into Elite Smash...
Mii Swordfighter story, but maybe good because I actually planned it?
See yall in 2021.
Merry Christmas.
(Christmas Apathy Energy)