AN Unbeta'd, this is a (slightly late) Secret Santa gift for Vee. I hope you enjoy it!
The rain poured down heavily as Remus pulled into the empty parking lot of Brewed Awakenings. Scarred, discolored hands gripped the wheel tightly; what he wouldn't give for an excuse to just go home.
Hot-pink fingernails cloud his field of vision as his wife covered his hand with her own in a show of support.
"You've got this, Wolfy. Poppy said it'd be good for you to give this a try, yeah?"
Dora grabbed his face with more force than was possibly warranted, forcing Remus to look deeply into her eyes.
"And if you hate it, Remus John Lupin, if you truly walk out of there with nothing to show for it, I'll be waiting right here to storm that quaint coffee shop, and we'll never talk about it ever again. Deal?"
The heat from Dora's palm soothed him as much as her words. He wasn't alone. Sure, this group therapy thing would suck, but he wasn't alone.
Lips twisting in a sheepish grin, he gave the only answer that his love would accept.
"Deal!"
The abysmal weather matched Severus' mood perfectly. Of course, it was Tuesday night. Tuesdays were a day reserved for fools and imbeciles, and no hour was quite as tedious as the court-mandated hour spent at Brewed Awakenings. Surely, he had more important things to do than hear grown men groan and complain about the world's unfairness one minute while describing a fictitious week filled with their heroic feats the next.
Week after week, Lockhart and his simpleton followers would eagerly describe their wondrous acts while bemoaning lesser beings taking all the credit away from them. Were it not for Severus' background, he was sure that their inane complaints would make him gag. Then again, there was a reason that they needed to be part of a support group, impulsive liars that they were.
From the corner of his eye, Severus saw a new character walk into the dimly lit coffee shop, remarkable only in the way his fellow patrons avoided his eye. Even the matronly Molly seemed hesitant to offer the man her hand, a most peculiar response from the unusually accepting woman. The man kept the hood of his jacket up, preventing Severus from getting a good look at him, but it would seem he bore watching; it had to be more interesting than feigning interest in Lockhart's amazing act of the week, at least.
Finally, Lockhart's Mutual Appreciation Gang finished telling about the 'true' events that the Daily Prophet had neglected to share. As Severus stood, the snake tattoo circling his ear seemed to move, but the sudden hissing in the room came not from the green ink, but rather from the oh-so-supportive support group that Judge Dumbledore mandated he join.
"My name, as I'm sure you all are aware," he began before being interrupted by the glare and "Hem-hem" of Umbitch, aka Warden.
"Yes, yes I know, watch my tone. My name is Severus. I am here because a history of violence with the Slippery Serpents gang was deemed best treated by joining a community support group. My week was utterly dull and exceptionally annoying. I spent it catering to dunderheads lacking the brain capacity to comprehend that taking more than their prescribed medications can have side effects."
"Oi, Snivelus! What're you doing working with drugs?"
"Not that it's any of your business, Potter, but I was recently hired as a telehealth supervisor taking calls when my employer's medications have side effects. If you'll excuse me, I will now let our newest member take the floor."
The hood of the new person in their midst fell off as he walked to center stage. Face horribly scarred with blotches of discoloration likely caused by scleroderma, many of the imbeciles backed away automatically. Severus was delighted to see such individuals as Umbitch and Potter among that number.
Then the man began to speak. "H-hello there. M-my name is Remus, and I'm new to the Brewed Awakenings Support Group. My therapist suggested that this could be a good opportunity for me to work through my issues with PTSD, but based on everyone's reaction as I came up, I must admit to being somewhat skeptical. From what I've heard, it seems like most of you are well on the way to recovery with your issues. I, however, am not. My primary diagnoses as concerns this group are PTSD with depression and occasional delusions. Despite my features, none of my conditions, physical or mental, are contagious in any way, I assure you. Have a great day."
That sarcasm was a thing of beauty. While the man wasn't nearly as caustic as Severus himself was, his obvious disdain towards the others in the group was so obvious even Lockhart couldn't miss it. Severus had to know more.
As Remus walked off the stage, a lone person in the back began to clap slowly. It appeared to be that Severus fellow. Breathing deeply to control his deep dislike of this place, he walked towards the seemingly only other person who didn't love the sound of his own voice.
Scratching his neck, Remus was about to say something when the other man offered, "That speech dried out your throat, no doubt. Care for a drink?"
"Sure"
Officially, the meeting wouldn't end for another hour. At this point, members were supposed to break up into smaller groups, and Severus seemed like much better company than any of the other individuals spread around the coffee shop.
After ordering—hot chocolate for himself, and coffee, black for his companion—Remus found himself led to a secluded table in the back where they could more easily avoid the others. Remus noted with a spark of irrational fear the candle sitting innocently on the table and immediately snuffed it out before sitting.
Severus rose an eyebrow. "Problems with fire?"
"Something like that. There was an incident involving it a year ago in May. Something went wrong with the electricity, per the investigation anyway."
"A conclusion you disagree with, I presume?"
"Electrical fires don't start during a blackout in a half-built room lacking any outlets at all," Remus said sardonically.
"Indeed," Severus rejoined. "Is that event the cause of your PTSD, if I may ask?"
"Most of it. The rest is just from dealing with idiots who hate those who are different." Remus waved at his body to demonstrate just what he was referring to. "I suppose you're curious about my physical state as well?"
"Why ever would I want to know the details of your scleroderma?" Severus huffed.
Now, it was Remus' turn to raise an eyebrow.
"Not many are familiar with the condition. May I ask how you recognized it?"
"Before I worked in telehealth fielding calls from idiots, I was a doctor. Working for the Slippery Serpents helped me to pay for medical school. Ironically, once my association with them got out, it was also what got me fired and my license revoked. Lack of a license does not, however, magically remove my knowledge on the subject of skin conditions, however." Remus' lip twitched at his acquaintance's brand of humor. Guessing that a change in topic would not go amiss, he looked around the room for inspiration. His eyes landed on the golden mane of a fellow who introduced himself as Gilderoy. His table held half of the other members of the group.
"Is Gilderoy always so…?"
Severus huffed, "Full of himself? Foolish? Ignorant in the highest order and perceiving those around him to be the same? Yes, today's delusional stories are quite routine. His posse eat it up and either seek to one-up him in a perpetual game of "Who's the Biggest Hero?" or kiss his arse so that, when he inevitably gets the recognition he deserves, they can move up with him. It's sad really. And impossibly boring to hear the same drivel meeting after meeting." Severus' dry tone had Remus stifling giggles. Before he could respond, however, his phone began to buzz. "One moment."
"Yes dear. No, you don't have to storm the place. I'm in the middle of the session. Yes, I think I will come again. Got to go, I'll tell you more in the car. Bye!" Remus turned back to Severus, the tips of his ears red. "Sorry about that. The Missus is in the car and wanted to check on me. Social situations can be a bit stressful, you understand. Anyways, where were we?"
A bell chimed up front. Severus smirked. "That sound indicates the end of the session, and perhaps of more importance, the imminent closing of the store. Shall we continue this next week?"
The two men nodded, happy that at least one other person in the group wasn't… as crazy as the rest.
Things continued in that vein for several more sessions. Every week, the two would get a hot chocolate and a coffee before sitting at their usual table to malign the other members of the group. Considering Gilderoy and James were both overheard talking about Severus' lack of hygiene and Remus' monstrous looks, their consciences weren't overly concerned with their own lack of manners.
Every meeting, just before the bell was set to ring, Remus' wife would call or text. Sometimes, it was a reminder to get milk. Other times, it was a confirmation of their future plans or an amusing anecdote on the going-ons of their son. Though Severus was not terribly fond of children, he had to admit that the little tyke was quite adorable. While neither man could be said to make great strides in their interactions with the larger group, at the little table in the back the two had found a valued friend and ally. That was why Severus couldn't allow the lie to stand.
It was the last meeting in December when Severus finally had the chance to take Remus to task. The dirty-blond had just excused himself from the table and, more importantly, his phone was sitting innocently at the table. Having noted that Mrs. Lupin's calls always lined up perfectly with the end of each session, all that Severus had to do was change a few settings on the phone.
10:59PM arrived. The phone rang, and Remus picked it up, same as always. As per usual, there was nothing odd about his side of the conversation. Tonight, orange juice and eggs were needed from the store. "Bingo!" Severus thought.
For once, Severus accepted Remus' offer of a ride, citing the weather as an excuse. Remus asked if they could stop by the store on the way so that he could avoid turning back around. He ran in and asked his passenger to hold the bag.
When they pulled up into Severus' poorly maintained house, the man remained in his seat.
"You can cease the games, Remus."
"Games?"
"I know about your wife… and your son."
"Wh-what about them?"
Severus took a deep breath. In… out.
"In May of last year, there was one fire later reported to be caused by an electrical malfunction. A mother and her son died while the husband survived due to being at an appointment at the time the fire began, according to the Daily Prophet."
"You think that's the fire that hit my place. Severus, do you realize how crazy you sound? I talked to Dora just this evening, you heard me! We stopped by the store because of her call."
"While you were in the bathroom, I changed your phone settings to speaker. Yours was the only voice I heard during your 'discussion' with your wife. I also noticed that you have an alarm set for Tuesdays at 9:59. Don't forget to turn that off since we aren't meeting next week. Further, during your conversation, you expressed a need for orange juice and eggs but picked up bread instead. Your Dora is gone, Remus. Teddy is gone. I'm sorry for breaking into your fantasy, but it is unhealthy for you to continue on this way, and I… I am concerned for your well-being during the holiday. At Brewed Awakenings, you told me of a beautiful fantasy involving Teddy opening gifts. What are your real plans? How can I help?"
Severus bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anymore and could only hope that this wouldn't be too much for his friend to bear, but he wasn't lying. He truly did fear for Remus' safety if the delusion of his wife and child being alive did not mesh with the actual events of the holiday.
For a time, the only sound was Remus breathing heavily. It was reassuring that, while heavy, his breathing did not appear to indicate an imminent panic attack against what had been said.
"I know we're at your place already, but could we switch and you drive me home?" Remus finally spoke. "I don't think I should be behind the wheel, and it may be helpful to have someone with me as I enter the place. I can't say thank you for confronting me about this, but I will thank you for the care behind it… even if you're destroying my world." This last bit was said almost too quietly to be heard, and Severus ignored it in favor of the first part of Remus' statement.
"I would be happy to help you, Remus. Should you wish it, I could spend the night on your couch while you figure out where you want to go from here. I'm here for you."
"Yeah, that… that would be good."
The house that Severus parked in front of showed evidence of having had an addition built into it. Unfortunately, what remained of it served as a semi-permanent reminder of the fire. 'It's no wonder Remus prefers a world of delusions with this reality to come home to," he thought.
After putting the bread into an overfull breadbox, Remus got some blankets for the couch. The living room lacked any decorations whatsoever, something that stood in stark contrast to the tales that had been told at Brewed Awakenings. Before Remus could retire for the evening, Severus reminded him once again of his wish to help.
"Let me spend the evening thinking over how you can do that. We'll talk in the morning," Remus promised.
And so, they did. Severus reassured Remus of his utter lack of holiday plans, and together, they made the calls necessary to get the doorway that had once led to Teddy's nursery filled in. Remus had confided in Severus that some nights he would walk through the door after hearing his son's cry only to find himself standing outside in the burnt out remains of the room.
Severus also convinced Remus to talk to his doctor about a change in medication. Thus far, Remus' delusions of his dead wife and child seemed relatively benign, but there was no telling if their continued presence would become malicious in time. It was important to get on a treatment regimen that would help Remus to remain in control of his senses.
Those steps would help Remus heal with his brain's responses to his trauma. Severus walking beside him Christmas morning to the gravesite of his loved ones helped Remus to take the first steps to emotional recovery.