No plot, just a tiny, badly written oneshot about Tonks, Mad-Eye and Kingsley teasing each other after an auror mission went wrong. Oh, and there's pudding.
"Now," said Tonks, neatly folding her hands in her lap, "that went well."
The two men lying to her left and right slowly turned their heads to glare at her in a way that seemed a little haunting.
It must've looked odd enough as the three aurors - one small and pink haired, one tall and black skinned, one scarred and grumpy looking - had arrived at St Mungo's, propping each other up which, admittedly, didn't actually make anyone of the three feel steady.
Even more odd it must look now, that the three aurors were laying in one hospital bed each, the young woman in the middle, the men to her left and right, all three wearing the typical pathetic-looking hospital robes.
"Well?" Mad-Eye repeated. "We've literally been blasted into pieces by a couple of death eaters! You call that well, lass?"
"Could've been worse," Tonks said, shrugging.
Kingsley rubbed the bridge of his nose, obviously deciding that it would be less of a waste of time and energy to argue with his colleague about this. Mad-Eye, on the other hand, snarled. "Worse? What could be worse?"
Tonks chewed on her lip for a moment, then shot her mentor a sweet smile. "You could've died, Mad-Eye dear."
"Oh I would've been delighted about that... finally not having to bear your daily bullshit," he grunted, "no offense."
"None taken," Tonks replied.
"I meant Kingsley."
Tonks sat up and turned her full attention to Mad-Eye, cocking one eyebrow. "Ever been accused of favouritism?"
"No, but I'm so very glad that I have now. For now, by body can rest in peace next time a death eater tries and, this time probably, succeeds to kill me. And it will be your fault."
Tonks snorted. "Mine? Why should it?"
"Well, you were the one who got us into all that mess. You weren't constantly vigilant!" Mad-Eye said through gritted teeth.
"So? You're literally Britain's greatest auror and blame your poor protégé for your death? Pathetic."
"Just like that one stunner you shot at Rowle," Kingsley muffled voice sounded from his pillow.
"Bugger off, Kings," was her eloquent reply.
"I would if I could."
Tonks rolled her eyes and slumped back into her pillows, sighing softly. Even though she couldn't see her colleagues' faces, she knew they were glaring at her. "Look, guys," she said overly-excited and sat up again, snatching a tiny bowl from her bedside table, "it's not so bad here... look, we've got pudding! Oi Kingsley, you've got vanilla!" She peered at the label in hers and screwed up her face in disgust. "Yuck! I've got strawberry."
"Matches your hair," Kingsley said in a tone that sounded both kind and sarcastic. Kingsley himself was unwrapping his pudding, smiling merrily.
"But I hate strawberry flavoured stuff," Tonks complained. She glanced at Mad-Eye, who was grinning smugly. "Oi, what is it?"
"Oh, nothing," he muttered.
Tonks lifted her chin to get a glance at his pudding - and scowled. "You've got chocolate pudding, that's unfair!" She didn't get a reaction from Mad-Eye tho (other than him shrugging mirthfully). Kingsley meanwhile was spooning his pudding, looking very content indeed. Tonks glared at him - which didn't really bother Kingsley - and folded her arms over her chest.
Suddenly, something cold hit her shoulder. Tonks flinched, but reached out, nearly falling out of bed, but catching the thing. It was Mad-Eye's chocolate pudding.
"Constant vigilance!" the elder auror barked, making Kingsley choke on his pudding.
"Thanks for the pudding, but you're just killing our best man!" Tonks hissed, grinning.
Kingsley stared at them, chest still heaving as he coughed. "Best man?! You're - finally - getting - married, then? Poor Remus," he sputtered.
Tonks reached out to slap his back in a way that might not've been all too caring. "I didn't mean it like that," she laughed, "but if we ever were to marry, you shall be our best man."
"OUCH! Tonks, easy!" Kingsley half yelped half grinned. "Well, as long as I'm not your flower girl."
"Oh no," Tonks smirked, "that post's served for our darling Dawlish, the ol' great joker!"
"Bloody hell..." Mad-Eye muttered. Tonks winked in his direction before she tossed him her strawberry pudding. "I don't want your stupid pudding. How old d'you think I am, five?" he said, grumpily. "Have you folks even checked your pudding for poison?"
Tonks groaned in annoyance. "Mad-Eye! This is a freaking HOSPITAL! I doubt anyone wants to poison us here.
"Stranger things have happened, Nymphadora."
"Don't you nymphadora me now, Alastor!" Tonks growled. Out of the corner of her eye, Tonks saw Kingsley rub a hand over his face. "You know, Mad-Eye, sometimes I feel sorry for Kingsley for having to grapple with us every day."
"Yeah, I feel sorry for myself a lot too," Kingsley huffed.
"I feel sorry for myself too," Mad-Eye grunted, spooning the 'stupid pudding' eagerly. Despite having said on several occasions before that it was not, he seemed to like strawberry flavour.
"Aw you poor thing," Tonks said sarcastically, then focusing only on her pudding.
... It looked odd indeed to the nurse who marched in later, seeing three fully grown aurors sitting on their beds, looking very content while merrily shoveling pudding into their mouths.