AN: So, this is going to be a note of something a little different, but I feel I have to address it. I just wanted to please ask that people don't get too rude and impolite with one another in the reviews. I have been incredibly grateful for how many people have been attracted to this story, but I suppose with that number there are bound to be disagreements. This is my first story, so I don't know exactly how best to deal with this, but I have no desire to delete reviews and stifle opinions and thoughts, that just isn't something I believe in doing. If you want to drop by and tell me you absolutely hate this story and everything about it, you have every right to do so. But please don't start getting after one another too intensely over differing opinions; at the end of the day, despite how much love and devotion I have for this writing, it really isn't that important a thing to get worked up over. I'm always open to PM's if you'd rather ask about things or address things privately.
Phew, so that being said, I again want to thank everybody so much for stopping by for another installment. Hoping you all had a stellar weekend and if you're not a fan of Mondays, hopefully this is something of a worthwhile distraction. Love you guys!
Chapter 9: Scars
"I don't see that we have a choice. For all of us, moving along has to be our best option."
Holed up within the temple, Sasuke leaned against the wall a slight distance from the rest of the group, arms crossed and listening closely. His impatience had been boiling over the past hour, but every time he happened to look Katara's way and they met eyes, he would bite down whatever annoyed remark he had been thinking to make.
Haru was the only one who had been removed from the proceedings and his unconscious body had been moved in just to the room over to be watched over by those who had had been hidden away from the battle. The rest of the group was circled around a small fire of Zuko's creation, deciding the next best course of action.
"How much time would you guess we have?" Sokka seemed to direct this question towards Zuko, whose knowledge of Fire Nation militaristic protocol surely advanced beyond his own. Azula, however, was the one to answer. Her voice was cold and removed, but she still spoke with perfect clarity as she stared into the orange flame before her.
"Hours, at this point. Any aerial strike team like that would have a home group situated between their main port and their area of attack. Ako will be able to signal them quickly for reinforcements or drum up a different sort of plan of action, and regardless, they'll be back here soon."
Sokka looked to Zuko who shrugged and nodded. Suki raised the next most obvious concern.
"Where do we go? The peninsulas to our east and west are Fire Nation strongholds, north is pure ocean and south takes us directly towards the capital."
Sounds fine to me, Sasuke thought inwardly. He had only been half listening during the previous conversations but was now fully in tune with this one. He needed determining on the best course of action moving forward and this had been occupying his mind readily. Something that Katara had said had stuck with him like a virus that ate away at the certainty he had only recently been so sure of.
"What if Ozai isn't responsible?"
It should have been easy to shrug off; Sasuke had heard the Fire Lord admit to it. No, particulars hadn't been used, but it was all too easy to infer what he had been implying. And Sasuke had every intention of wringing out all the information he could from Ozai anyway.
"You really can't leave that alone, can you? Well, the truth then: I don't know a thing about you, boy."
Sasuke clenched his fists as they remained crossed over and under his arms.
Liar.
"Sasuke?"
He realized his name had been said twice now, and looked over to see Sokka addressing him now, and the gazes of all of them looking his way with varying stages of emotion. He ran his tongue over the front of his teeth. "Sorry?"
"I was just asking what you thought. We all know what you're going after, and we… just wanted to know your opinion."
Sasuke almost laughed coldly. These people cared about what he thought? After Katara's dressing down, he had expected that to be mostly the end of any interaction he was going to be permitted to have, at least verbally But he could tell it wasn't a joke as the group looked towards him expectantly. He replied as he met Azula's gaze and she looked away intently.
"I'm going after Ozai, you all know this. Though I can say, if what the princess says is true, then moving on is probably the best option for all of us."
He saw Azula's face pull back in a slight grimace as her referred to her by her royal status. Leaning over the map that rested on a slab of rock beside the fire. "This might be a good spot."
She pointed to a small group of islands to the east of the Fire Nation capital. "There are a great deal of beaches here for tourists and vacationers. Festivals are held there year round and just about any family with the necessary funds for it has a summer home."
Zuko looked to her, unconvinced. "That includes us. If our father has men looking for us, won't they think to look there?"
Mai shook her head and dragged her finger along the islands' coasts. "It's a lot of ground and the actual housing property is all over the place. When you go far enough, the beaches lose their population and you find old abandoned constructions projects and even old Fire Nation temples along the way. Chances are, we could hole up in one of those."
She looked up to Sasuke, gaze still perpetually repulsed as she addressed him.
"And it'll put us a lot closer to the Fire Nation capital."
Sasuke pulled himself away from the wall, deciding it was time to straighten some things out. But before he could even begin explaining why a trip to the beaches would be a waste of his time, Aang seemed to practically jump forward with what he wanted to say.
"And we don't even know where Ozai will be, after everything that happened."
He punched a surprised Zuko in the shoulder. "Didn't you say that your dad probably will be away from the capital until whatever he's planning is ready to begin?"
Looked confused at the sudden energy that Aang was exhibiting, Zuko nodded slowly. "Yes, after an attempt on the palace like that, he won't stay put. He'll be hiding out somewhere."
Sasuke moved closer to the fire, crossing his arms again. "Then I'll need to start looking."
He was met with some uncomfortable glances that he shrugged off. Azula broke the awkward silence then, her voice still stiff and almost haughty, but her words gave him pause for thought.
"Our father's chief advisor spends much of his time at these islands for the festivals and vacationing when he's not at work in the capital."
Zuko nodded. "That's right! And since the Red Tree Festival started, what… one? Two days ago? There's no way he won't be there for at least the back half of it."
Katara looked at him. "What is this festival?"
Ty Lee dropped down to sit next to Toph as she answered. "One of the summer's largest celebrations. They bring in vendors, fireworks, plays, and people come from all over. It lasts a week, but the big days are the last three when the parades start going down the beach roads. If anyone was going to go to the festival for any part, it would probably be then."
Zuko turned his attention back to Sasuke. "If you want to find the Fire Lord, Hachi is your man. Our father consults with him on everything."
Sasuke considered this. On one hand, if this Hachi didn't wind up at the islands to partake in the festivities, then he had wasted at least a few days' time. But the truth of the matter was that he really had no better leads, and he just potentially been given exactly what he needed.
He finally spoke, addressing a question of his own. "This Hachi. What sort of man is he?"
Zuko looked back towards the fire, waving a hand absently and causing the flames to swirl and dance unnaturally.
"He was always nice to us kids. When I came back to the capital, I got to spend more time with him, and he seemed more… stressed then he had when we were kids. Like there was suddenly too much going on for him to handle. He's still fiercely loyal to my dad though, and he's very smart."
He turned his eyes back to Sasuke inquisitively. "Why?"
Sasuke didn't bother trying to hide the malice in his voice. "Just to try and gauge ahead of time how much I'm going to have to… coerce him into telling me your father's whereabouts."
He let this settle over the group and Toph raised her head from where it rested on her knees.
"So, you're coming with us?"
The number of varying gazes that were directed his way gave Sasuke pause. There was still pure dislike from Ty Lee and Mai, still concern and suspicion from Suki and Sokka, still gloominess from Aang and Toph, and still that almost confusing interest that Zuko regarded him with. But he looked past them all to look into Katara's eyes; her eyes were not quite as hostile as they had been on previous occasions, but they now held an expectant glow. Rolling the options in his head, Sasuke finally pushed aside his impatience and nodded.
"For the time being."
It was left at that.
Within the next hour, things moved quickly. Few words were exchanged that weren't in direct regard to the situation at hand, packing and double-checking was paramount. Sokka did an impressive job relegating tasks, though Sasuke practically had to demand something to do for all the cold shoulders he was getting. He found himself alongside Hakoda and Chit Sang, prowling the temple grounds and making sure nothing was left behind that would give the returning Fire Nation soldiers any clues. He was surprised by what good company they made; he supposed that while they had been watching the less capable children in the camp, they had little to judge him with and they were both pleasant in his direction.
When Appa and the airship were both properly loaded up and ready, Aang took to the air to scout out the surrounding night sky and make sure their departure wasn't going to be picked up on. As he did, Sokka ordered everyone aboard the two vastly different modes of transportation. Appa took the kids Sasuke hadn't seen much of as well as the two adults alongside Sokka and Suki. Everyone else was put aboard the airship where there were in fact bunks in a rather cramped below-deck area. Sasuke opted for the one furthest from the rest; he had no interest in sparking some kind of argument that was based around something as stupid as his proximity to the rest of his companions.
Aang returned shortly thereafter and the engine of the airship roared to life and the two carriers took to the sky, with Aang on his glider and Momo leading the way. Sasuke moved to his bed quickly to avoid the rest of his bunkmates' attention.
He was along for the ride, but it had long been since made clear to him that he wasn't anyone's friend.
It was still the darkest part of the night when Azula finally sat up on her less than comfortable bed, her sleeplessness finally getting the better of her. It wasn't as though she wasn't tired or didn't think she could sleep. But as she turned her gaze around her to the other dozing forms of her companions, something about the whole situation just kept her fiercely from rest.
Pulling her loose nightshirt close to her, she stood up in the semidarkness of the main hold; the rumbling of the furnace made all of the noise she made entirely unnoticeable as she pulled open the main hatch and walked out onto the open deck. Sucking in a breath of cool night air, she walked to the front of the ship and leaned out over the railing. Nothing but darkness swam beneath her, the moon now mostly hidden behind a sheet of clouds that had rolled in since they had taken flight. She looked down and wondered what it would feel like to be falling through all that black.
Cursing quietly, she drilled her fingers into her temples, trying to keep her mind from raging incessantly.
Why can't I stop thinking about him?
She hadn't expected a thank you for coming between him and the pointed ends of several Fire Nation arrows, but his very existence remained a furiously contentious point in her head. He had saved her, he had fought her, and through all of that, he barely seemed to acknowledge her. She wasn't used to that.
It was stupid to think so hard on the matter; he was just so caught up in his own goals that she barely factored in, that was all.
Do I… want to factor in?
Azula banished this question from her mind almost immediately. That was completely ridiculous, what did she care what this stupid boy thought of her? When had she ever cared what anyone had thought of her?
"Couldn't sleep either?"
She straightened suddenly as she heard the voice and felt her breathing catch in her throat, barely trusting herself to turn around.
This was the last thing she needed.
Sasuke was leaning against some rigging towards the aft of the ship and judging by his relaxed demeanor, had been there a while. Azula gently tilted her chin up and addressed him, doing her best to keep her voice cool and measured.
"I thought you were below."
He nodded. "I was, for a bit. But I think I can wait till we reach wherever it is we're going before I actually get some shut eye; that furnace's noise was keeping me from it."
She knew he was lying, but didn't feel the need to press why he was actually above deck. It figured that it was probably due to a similar reason to her own departure from the cabin. There was no doubt that he had plenty on his mind as well.
After a moment, Azula realized he was watching her almost curiously. Swallowing, she looked over the side of the ship, not wanting to meet his gaze.
"I'm glad you're up here actually." His words sent a very odd tremor running down Azula's spine and she looked at him, her hair tossing across her face as they slid through the sky.
"Oh?"
He lifted himself away from the rigging and approached her slowly. Azula was shocked that she didn't shout at him to back away or attempt to burn a hole through his skull; she could only stare as he joined her leaning over the edge of the airship, nearly shoulder to shoulder.
"I wanted to ask how you knew about my brother."
The hammering of her heart faded away almost instantly and she looked back out into the dark sky, wondering what it was that had gotten her so worked up in the first place.
"You think I know some big, dark secret about your past, do you?"
He gave no reply but the burning gaze she could feel piercing the side of her head told her all she needed to know. She rolled her own eyes before giving him what was sure to be an anticlimactic answer.
"When we escaped the palace, I held you for a while during the period you were unconscious."
She felt him stiffen next to her and smirked. He should be so lucky.
"It's something we learned at the academy when someone's breathing is uneven, you hold them until they are able to be seen by medical personnel or until the breathing returns to normal. This way you can monitor their air intake and keep an eye on their heartrate and pulse."
Azula ran a finger through her hair, relishing how good it felt to have it down.
"After you bombed the back of the palace, you were in a fitful state of sleep for about a half hour while I watched you. And during that period, you kept muttering about 'killing your own brother' and 'how they were going to pay'."
Sasuke almost seemed to deflate next to her and she turned her smirk in his direction. "Not exactly what you had hoped to hear I imagine."
His face had turned to a scowl as he looked out over the railing. "Hardly."
"Well, sometimes the answers we're looking for aren't quite so revealing," she muttered. Silence fell between them for something near a minute before Azula brought a question that had been gnawing at her mind for hours now forward.
"Do you really think you can defeat my father?"
He gave an arrogant snort. "Please. I would have killed him before if I had been better appraised of the situation as a whole. Now, he has no chance to stop me."
Clenching a fist, he looked down at it and she an expression cross his face that she had seen before in the mirror many times before. It was a look of someone truly power-hungry and who knew just how strong they were. Azula didn't know if that was an expression she would ever make again after what had happened.
"I'm getting stronger. I can feel it all coming back to me, like someone's slowly filling a glass of water. My memory is still bits and pieces, but my strength… that's the only consistency I have going for me."
She watched him carefully. "So, you're saying you took it easy on me?"
In a move that surprised her, he didn't reply and she could tell that he was trying to come up with the most diplomatic way to answer. She gave a short laugh. "Don't waste your time, I'm not interested in manners."
He grunted. "Well, then, yes."
Azula nodded. "I had a feeling going into it that I was horribly outmatched."
Sasuke stared at her. "Then why fight? Why do something as incredibly stupid as challenging me?"
"I'm not sure." She was only half-lying. There were a great many factors that had informed her that challenging Sasuke was some kind of bright idea, her honor, her curiosity, her anger. But if she had to narrow it down to a single driving force, it would have been her hope that he would have just—
"There are easier ways to go out, you know."
She felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise. Of course, he had somehow known, had somehow sensed what she was feeling.
"I can tell you're still burning up inside with indecision and doubt. Just as you were earlier this evening when we fought."
"It doesn't matter," Azula growled. She did not want to go into this right now, and certainly not with Sasuke of all people. He seemed to ignore her though, and pushed forward.
"Just jump then."
Whirling to face him, she saw that he was still just as calm looking, staring out over the vast carpet of darkness. Her heart had started to pound again as he droned on. "If the only thing driving you before was some kind of obsessive desire to serve your father and your nation, then jump. You don't need me to kill you. And I know all that crap you spouted about wanting to take your father's place is nonsense."
He turned to meet her eyes and she stared into his dark pits.
"You're lost. Worse than lost, you don't even want to consider the possibility of moving forward. You don't know how to move on, and you sure as shit aren't willing to try and mend past wounds."
Raising a foot behind him, he tapped his toe on the floor. "You have a brother and two friends who still, after everything you've supposedly done, haven't given up on you. Even before when the good general was ready to take you away, they still protested against it, even though fighting him would likely have gotten them killed."
Somehow, his face darkened even further in the black of the night with the moon just barely coming through the clouds.
"You have something you don't even know you have, something that other people would kill for. A chance at starting over, of mending these divides that have splintered you from then."
She pushed away from the railing then and turned fully to face him, blue fire crackling around her wrists then, coating the entire upper deck in a ghostly blue light.
"You know nothing about me!"
Sasuke made no move to adjust himself, just stared at her. "I know I'd kill just to even know if there was anyone alive who cared about me."
The fire was doused from her hands and she took deep calming breaths as they looked at each other. Azula tried to drown out the oppressively constant voices that told her how much validity he was actually posing to her situation.
This can't be the way… it can't be. How, after everything I've been through, can he just show up and do this to me?
Seeming to grow tired of her staring, Sasuke looked back into the night. "Doesn't matter, I suppose. If you could just look inward instead of projecting yourself outward, maybe then it might."
Her mind buzzing with what he had said, Azula mechanically tried to change the subject; if she didn't, she was worried, she might have another full-fledged breakdown.
"I'm surprised you came along. Even with what we know, I would have assumed it more like you to strike out on your own, find your own way."
"I expect it would be," he mused, rubbing his chin. "But let's just say I had something of a change of heart."
Remembering what had taken place before their swift evacuation, Azula pulled an oddity from her memory. "That's right, you spoke with Katara privately."
Gradually, she felt the terrible storm in her gut begin to settle as she fell into a more comfortable role of being the interrogator rather than the interrogated. Feeling an opportunity to press, she did so.
"Something she told you? Or perhaps you two are developing feelings for one another?"
With a start, she realized she very badly was apprehensive of how he might reply to this; he looked at her with a tired and inquiring look.
"In what universe do you expect that she would feel anything other than loathing for me?"
He looked back out and shook his head. "In any case, no, I chose to come along because this will get me the closest to Ozai the fastest. No other reason than that."
An uncomfortable flash passed across his face and Azula realized he might be lying. Maybe there was something going on between Katara and him, maybe in their private little meeting there had been more to it than words, maybe Katara, in all of her controlling, egotistical self, had gone and—
"You alright?"
At his question, her mental rambling trailed off and she looked back to meet his distantly concerned gaze. "You look like you're going to be sick."
That she probably did. Wishing that she could be anywhere other than standing alone with Sasuke, but also wishing it could stay that way for a while, Azula pushed as many of her emotions aside as she could. She leaned against the central burner, looking at the back of his head as he turned away again. She wanted desperately to get under his skin, to put him on edge just as he had done to her, but she was also scared as to what might happen if she did. There was no hiding from the fact that Sasuke was both dangerous and unpredictable, and doing anything to set him off would do no good other than stoke the fires of her own pride.
Instead, she chose to stand neat him in silence, pondering what little she did know.
A brother… dead, by his own hand. I've almost killed Zuko a fair few times myself: would it really mess me up as badly as he is?
For all his posturing and stoic attitude, it was clear that Sasuke was badly unstable. There was a storm behind his eyes every time she looked at him, clouds of fury and pain that never failed to send chills down her spine.
He could kill me.
She had expected to die in the fields. There had come a point after she had actually managed to land a punch that she had realized she truly was utterly outmatched. The absolute terror that had ran through her veins as he struck her again and again had been almost intoxicating to the point of shutting off her senses from anything other than the pain and the fear. She had waited for her life to be burned away just as she had burned away the lives of so many others, but it had just been hit after hit. It was a feeling that had been previously unknown to her, to be so utterly vulnerable and helpless before another.
And still, after all the words she had thrown at him, the threats and the violence, he hadn't killed her. She didn't remember exactly how the fight had ended, and assumed that there had been some level of interference after she brought up Itachi and been knocked out. But she had come out of it alive and, thanks to Katara's handiwork, was entirely alright.
"Tell me about Itachi."
The words had left her mouth as a command even before she realized what she was saying. Azula stopped breathing as her words resounded over the breeze, unable to be taken back. She genuinely couldn't recall having formed the question, let alone drawn up the gumption to ask it.
Sasuke half-turned back to her, a bitter look in his eyes and a bitter edge in his voice.
"Why? Looking for tips on how to commit fratricide?"
His suggestion caused Azula to stiffen and she overlooked how she had pulled the question out of nowhere and snapped back at him.
"No. I just was curious; he clearly was important to you."
His reply came several long seconds later, a whisper in the breeze.
"You don't know the half of it."
Azula considered returning below deck to leave Sasuke with his thoughts, but all of the sudden, he started talking. "I don't remember a lot of things, but what I do remember is him. He was a good brother since as early as I can remember. He did what he could to spend time with me, even when he was so entirely busy when we were younger."
"He began spending time working towards becoming…" At this, Sasuke raised a hand and clenched his fist, as though reaching desperately for something he couldn't recall. "He was going to become something, and it took much more of his time. I hardly saw any of him anymore."
His hand came down and Sasuke bowed his head. "One night, I came home to find both my parents dead at his hand. He had killed them both and many more of our people."
Azula could only stare. This had not been the route she had expected this story to take. In her head, she had imagined Itachi as some noble, upstanding individual, the kind that people like Aang and his friends would find most appealing.
"Itachi told me to run away and become strong, I wasn't worth killing. If I could meet him at his level, then I guess I would have been worth his time."
Sasuke turned and looked Azula in the eye and she saw his eyes glowing with a vibrant red that contained a black pattern. She took in a sharp intake of breath as she remembered seeing those same eyes in her vision that he had lain against her. They were the same eyes that had forced the titan form of General Ako to his knees and they stared out at her now, unblinking and overpowering.
"Select members of my people would be able to awaken these eyes at birth. They're called Sharingan and are awakened by a deeply emotional event of varying sorts. My eyes were brought to life as I stared at my brother standing over the bodies of my parents."
He turned away and Azula breathed out as though an immense weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
"I spent years training in what we call jutsu, or bending as you people refer to it as. Though, they're not the same, and I don't… I don't really understand the differences myself…"
Sasuke trailed off before returning to his story. "During all those years, I strived to become stronger for a single purpose: to kill my brother and take revenge for my people. The day finally came when I became strong as he told me to, and I faced him."
The wind tossed his spiky black hair as his voice lowered.
"We fought, and I killed my brother."
This confession held the space between them for a long while before he sighed and straightened, seeming to be relieved just to be passed admitting to it.
"Of course, it was only afterwards that I found out Itachi had only done the things he had done were to protect the honor of our people and to prevent war from breaking out. He was willing to throw down his life, become a hated man for all to remember, for… for…"
He snarled then and slammed his hand into the railing; it buckled at his strike and he glared down at it. "I don't remember. I don't remember why, what the war was, what the honor was for, why any of it mattered."
With finality in his tone, he turned to face her again. His Sharingan as he had called them were no longer visible, his eyes once again black pits as he glared at her menacingly.
"But what I do know is that I was able to pull a memory in which your father, in prayer, spoke of how he had forced my people to destruction. He and his cohorts manipulated my brother and are the reason I am…"
His anger seemed to evaporate, and he looked away. Azula realized how alone he looked.
"I don't know why I told you all that," he muttered. "I don't know what to believe, I truly don't. I'm fooling myself into believing this is the path forward, but I really don't know where this will lead."
Sasuke stared up into the sky as the moon slid free from behind the clouds and bathed the airship in a pale light. "But your father has answers. And I will have them."
Azula watched him as he seemed to end his admission there, fully in shock that she had just been given such a confession. Every part of her rationale told her to leave it at that, but there was more to her than that, more that she felt she needed to say.
"I know what it's like to feel betrayed."
It seemed such a foolish and childish thing for her to say and she felt her cheeks burn at the stupidity of it. She expected him to laugh, but he didn't, just kept staring out into the night.
"Do you," he said coolly. She nodded despite being fully aware he wasn't facing her direction.
"I don't know if you're right about anything you said, Sasuke. But I do know that… that I am confused. And probably lost."
The words thundered in her head though they had escaped her mouth just barely and softly. There was no part of her that wanted to be lost, no part of her that even wanted to admit it. She would never say such a thing to her brother, or to Mai or Ty Lee, but something about Sasuke just made her feel like it was the right thing to do. On a certain level, she hated it; it was like being naked in front of him and the whole world, baring herself at her absolute weakest. But there was another part of her, that felt so good and relieved in saying these words, so much so that she couldn't help but continue, even as the words came out of her like pulling teeth.
"If I can ever face the truth of that is another matter. But I know how you feel. I know what it's like to be stabbed in the back so suddenly. I know what that hurt is like."
She closed her eyes and let her confession sink into herself. It was vague, there were even parts of it she wasn't sure she believed, but it was such a surreal experience, a new happening she could never have seen coming. It felt almost invigorating as though she had taken a great sip of water after being deeply dehydrated. She still felt nothing short of confused, but now there was a padding around it and it didn't feel quite so insurmountable.
"You know nothing of hurt."
Azula opened her eyes to see Sasuke standing right in front of her, his face only a foot from hers. She yelled in surprise and staggered back. He didn't move but continued to glower at her intensely.
"You've been born into the lap of luxury, every grace of the world brought to your whim. You've had riches, commands and power all to your own, and you gladly traded your humanity for it."
He stepped towards her and she matched his movement in reverse, taking a step back as he continued to growl. "All of a sudden, you find out your father might rather use you as a sacrifice for some stupid ritual, and you think that pain matches mine? You still have people who care about you, people who are willing to let you in, friends that have stuck by you through it all. A brother who you can still talk to, who you can still reconcile with."
Sasuke tripped over the last piece of it. "A brother who loves you."
He shook free of his verbal stutter and continued to rant. Azula backed away her feeling of relief long gone, her confusion once again stoked to a furious degree.
"You stand there and try to relate to me, when all you are is lost in your own ego, unwilling to take the chance to start over."
Hitting her heel against something, Azula fell to the deck, her eyes not leaving the furious orbs peering down at her, as though repulsed by her very existence.
"I don't have time for your self-patronizing pity. If you really believe that you are as helpless as you say you are, you really would be better off jumping off this ship."
Leaving it at that, Sasuke turned away from her and walked to the rear of the airship. Before he even had finished walking towards wherever it was he was going, Azula had scrambled to her feet and rushed away. Yanking open the hatch that led below deck, she practically stumbled down the stairs and raced to her bunk. Throwing herself into it, she looked around in the darkness lit only by the gentle orange glow of the burners. Thanks to the rumble that accompanied that soft light, she could see that none of her fellow passengers seemed to have woken up.
It also allowed her to roll over and face away from them, letting her confused and horrified mind finally pull out the tears that had long since wanted to be free.
Gazing out into utter darkness as the moon dipped behind the clouds once more, Sasuke blew out an impatient sigh. It had been stupid of him to engage in any kind of conversation with a person who was so clearly mentally disturbed, though hopefully some of his blunt verbiage had gotten past her pride enough to plant some seeds of doubt.
After all, doubt made up most of his inner musings these days.
Sasuke hated the not knowing. Not even the uncertainty of being mostly unaware of his own past, but the uncertainty that this path he was choosing to take might just as easily lead to a myriad of questions more than he already had.
Was Ozai going to be able to tell him what he wanted to know? Maybe not. Had his fleeting memory of the Fire Lord's whispered prayer even been in reference to him? Maybe not.
Stop it. It has to be. This is all I have.
He had to pursue this; as soon as they landed in the islands it was just a matter of waiting for the Fire Lord's advisor to make his venture to the festival and then he could move forward. He had nothing holding him back, it wasn't as though any of these people were anything he needed to succeed. They hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, his promise to Katara notwithstanding.
There was no time to waste trying to forge bonds with these people, they clearly wanted him out of their lives as much as he wanted to be gone anyway. And he could not be bothered trying to rationalize his doubts and try to make some level of compromise achievable between them and his desires.
Doubt was for the weak.
"More tea, friend?"
"Please."
Obito extended the arm holding his cup for Iroh to refill. The stars above were a breathtaking pattern and the previously steaming wasteland had cooled mercifully in the cover of night. Save for the stars above and the fire burning before them, there was no light to be seen anywhere amongst the dunes and rocky crags they had traveled over and had yet to go beyond. Their mounts were tethered nearby and rested peacefully, their metabolisms well suited to last for over a day on one large meal. Blankets had been rolled out over the smoother areas of their small camp and the meat that Iroh had been able to cook up rested peacefully in their stomachs while they spent their last few minutes before bed sipping tea that could only be described as heavenly.
For the first time since he had woken on that beach, Obito felt rather at peace.
Sitting down across from him with a grunt, Iroh blew on his own beverage as he eyed his companion. "So, Obito, you tell me that you are an amnesiac?"
Obito pulled a face and shrugged. "I guess if you want to call it that. Other than my name and some brief flashes, I'm pretty much as hopelessly lost as you could imagine anyone being."
Iroh laughed heartily.
"Oh, I don't know about that. I know people, even in my own family, who know not only their names, but their past, their friends, their relatives, their positions, and are far more lost than you seem to be."
"Awfully encouraging," Obito grunted. "But I hope that I might find some guidance in Ba Sing Se; if there's any place that I might be able to find answers, I think it might be there."
"And why is that?" Iroh asked, "Of all the places in the Four Nations you could go to looking for clues to your past, why this city in particular?"
There was a pause as Obito considered how best to reply. On one hand, he was growing quite fond of the old man and didn't quite want to scare him off with the truth that would sound more like he was crazy than anything. But he also had a feeling that slipping a lie past Iroh wasn't as easy as it might seem.
"Call me crazy… but I've only had one dream since the beach. The night immediately after, when I fell asleep in a burnt out house along the coast, I dreamt of a woman."
Laughing again, Iroh inclined his head. "Ah, I knew it!"
Obito smiled and waved a hand. "Not like that, you geezer. No, this woman was… intimidating more than anything. Tall, with these really nice looking robes and face paint too."
He caught sight of Iroh's playful smiling disappearing quickly and took note of it.
"When she spoke to me, she didn't sound… angry, but she didn't sound too pleased to see me either. I don't remember exactly what she said, but I remember the ideas that she presented. She told me I didn't belong here. That I was disturbing the order of things to even exist and that to learn how to undo the ill that I posed, I needed to travel to the greatest and wisest city in the Earth Nation to do so."
There wasn't much to tell beyond that and he waited for Iroh to call him crazy, but rather, the old man leaned forward as though he had just been denied the punchline to an intensely elaborate joke.
"And then? That can't be all."
Shrugging, Obito moved his cup back to his mouth. "Afraid so. And that's all I have to go on, other than that I know there is someone I have to find. Though I know nothing about them or where to look. So, Ba Sing Se remains my best bet."
He watched as Iroh sat back on his cushion and seemed to deeply consider what he had said.
"You like you believe me."
Absently, Iroh nodded. "I do. Though it is hardly anything close to common, visitations from spirits are hardly impossible. For you to have this experience and being where you are and what you are, I would think you wise to take this particular advice seriously."
Obito watched his companion carefully.
"What I am. What do you mean by that?"
Sighing, Iroh reached behind his head and scratched almost awkwardly. "My friend, it is not hard for me to admit that in all my years of seeing warriors, assassins, and soldiers of all kinds, the display you put on back at that port chilled me to my bone."
Frowning, Obito stared at him. "I don't understand. I thought you were alright with my killing of those bastards."
Holding up a hand, Iroh nodded in concession. "Though I cannot condone the taking of any life, I believe your actions were not without warrant. But you misunderstand: I didn't mean your actions, I meant how those actions were carried out."
From where he sat cross-legged, Obito poked tensely at the fire with a stick that had fallen from a dead nearby banyan tree.
"How do you mean?"
Iroh leaned forward, eyes glimmering with intent.
"Your speed, my boy. Your ferocity and precision." He pointed at Obito and raised his eyebrows. "Perhaps you don't remember your past, but your body seems to remember perfectly well how to be the most proficient swordsman these lands have ever seen."
Laughing half-heartedly, Obito leaned back, assuming this was the old man's attempt at polite flattery. "I'm sure it wasn't that impressive."
"No, it was. It was also very perplexing if I may say so."
At this, he looked up to see Iroh staring at him keenly as though trying to sense something out. Obito wasn't sure the old man could be sending more mixed signals if he tried.
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand your meaning."
Chewing briefly at the inside of his mouth, Iroh adjusted his cushion before elaborating. "There was more to it than your speed. When I saw you, there was something different about you, even if for only a moment. Your eyes… "
He looked down and shook his head.
"I am getting a little up there in years, but my eyesight is as good as its ever been. And I know for sure that I saw something in your eyes that I've never seen before."
Obito sat in silence as he listened to these words, feeling a very real uncomfortable tingling on the back of his neck as though something were staring at him from a great distance with ravenous, monstrous intent.
"One of them, I believe it was your left, seemed to have a purplish hue to it. And your right, well it was glowing red. They only appeared this way for a split second, but I know what I saw. They only looked this way as you cut through the soldiers and when they were all dead at your feet, your eyes were normal again. But I know what I saw."
As the word's repeated themselves in Obito's head, he thought back to the few times he had been forced into combat since the beach. He had no recollection or feeling that his eyes had been more than just eyes, that they had reflected some otherworldly colors, but there was a change that he knew was real when he drew his sword with the intent of killing. There was a noticeable change in the way he viewed things, the way others moved; they seemed to telegraph their moves before even beginning them and they seemed to move much more slowly on top of everything else. No man that Obito had cut down had proven anything close to a challenge, never even seeming to manage a single attack, let alone come close to harming him.
"I know," he whispered before shaking his head and clearing his throat. "I mean, I don't know about any eyes, but I do know that there is a part of me that is able to take fighting, take combat, and reduce it to a perfectly readable form. I can tell what people are going to do before they do it, and I can move faster than anyone can keep up with."
He reached behind him and pulled his katana to him, placing it on his lap as he examined the sheath and the handle.
"I took this from a swordsmith on an island near the one I got passage to the Earth Nation on. At the time, I was being pursued by bandits who were after me because I had killed one of their number in self-defense in a tavern the night before. I ran into his shop and demanded a weapon. It struck me as odd only long after the fact that he could have pulled one of his swords and forced me out or attacked me himself; he was perhaps only ten years older than I, and was well built and strong. And on top of that, he had any sword he could have wanted in reaching distance from the wall behind the counter."
Obito continued to stare down at the simple, but ornate sheath.
"But he didn't do any of that. He didn't even give me one of his cheaper swords. He gave me this one, definitely not one of his poorer makes."
"The bandits caught up with me outside of that town on a cliffside. I tried to explain my position, my side of the story, but they were long past words."
He paused and Iroh asked him lightly. "And?"
Obito looked up.
"And I killed them all."
Lifting the sword lightly, he pulled it a few inches from its sheathe and looked at the pure shine of the blade itself in the dancing glow of their fire. "This sword became more than just a weapon then. It felt like a part of my arm, easy to whip around as a finger."
Pushing the blade back in, he set it on the ground before where he sat.
"I know there's more going on with me than I know, I'm not just some wandering swordsman. And if my dream is anything to be trusted… well, even if it's not, this is all I have to go on."
Leaving it at that, he looked back to Iroh who was watching him with a look of consternation as though he wanted to say something that he just couldn't spit out. Eventually, he did reply, talking slow and careful, "You've been blessed with a very powerful and potentially calamitous ability. I just hope you understand that though we don't know what it is, that just being equipped with it is a very steep responsibility."
Obito looked down into his cup, trying to catch a glimpse of his reflection. In the dim flickering light of the fire, he only saw brief flashes of his own visage, but there was no purple or red glow to his eyes. Just his own dark eyes and the scarring that had been ravaged to the right side of his face. For the first time since they had begun their travels, he felt a surge of real annoyance towards the old man.
You think I don't know that? What, you think I'm just going to go commit a genocide because I can?
He sighed. Of course Iroh hadn't meant it like that. But that thought left an uncomfortable thought lingering in the back of his mind. What if his past was a fair bit darker than he had even taken the time to consider?
"I don't mean to imply anything, Obito. I can tell you have a strong heart, I just would hate to see you go astray."
Looking up at his traveling companion, Obito asked, "What makes you say that?"
Lifting a shoulder thoughtfully, Iroh murmured. "There are very few people who would say that soldiers abusing a mother or an old man is passable. But I'm sure very few of them would actually act upon that indignation should they be confronted by it."
Rolling his eyes, Obito looked away into the dark, still distantly embarrassed. "I acted on impulse and let my emotion control how I acted. I didn't take any factors into account other than the ones immediately apparent."
Shrugging, Iroh refilled his own teacup.
"I said you had a strong heart, not that you were smart."
The two looked at each other for a long moment before they both began to chuckle. Obito relished the sound of laughter as it passed between them and rolled out over the sand and dirt. But as the old man continued laughing long after him, he felt his anxiousness and doubt swirl back to his mind. His eyes had changed, had they? What could that mean? Was it part of his biology? Since he had begun to educate himself through the streets on the way of this world that felt so foreign that he still had to be part of, he knew that he was not among those privileged enough to be benders. But was he privy to something else, some other ability that was just as foreign to this world as he felt to it?
Pushing this aside, he decided to change the subject; dwelling on the unknown was as useless as trying to empty the ocean into a hole in the sand.
"Well, you know my reason for traveling now. How about you? Why Ba Sing Se?"
Iroh's eyes became distant and thoughtful as he answered, "The city is under Fire Nation control. They're only letting in refugees who pose no harm, all others are being turned away to internment camps just beyond the city walls."
He gestured to Obito and his sword. "You'll pardon my saying so, but they might take exception to you and your weapon."
Not even slightly deterred, Obito shrugged. "I'll be as persuasive as I can."
Iroh smiled, but it was almost sad.
"I'm going to try and meet up with some old friends is all. I was worried about them after all the conflict that has taken place within the city and the lands surrounding it. I've received word they've set up camp outside Ba Sing Se, and I hope to meet up with them by tomorrow."
Cocking his head, Obito asked, "You're not going to enter the city?"
Shaking his head, Iroh looked down towards the ground; he looked very much like he was holding something back. "No, I'm afraid our paths will part following our nearing of the city."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Obito remarked. "I daresay I've enjoyed your company."
Taking another drink from his tea, Iroh smiled over his cup. "I would have assumed that my questions and constant storytelling would wear on you."
"Why so?"
"When I traveled with my…" Iroh seemed to resolve something and sighed. "My nephew. When we traveled together he often lamented and complained of my perpetual allegories, questions and talking period. I began to wonder if that would just be people's natural reaction."
Feeling no reserve whatsoever in saying what he thought, Obito spoke plainly.
"Your nephew is a fool. Any person alive would be more than fortunate to have you as a companion on any journey."
Iroh's eyes seemed to glaze for a second and Obito cleared his throat; he hadn't meant to go so far as to make the old man get emotional. But eventually Iroh cleared his throat as well and shook his head. "He's just a little lost these days, I fear. I hope one day he will be able to see the truth as plainly as it is laid in front of him."
"Lost, like me?"
"Perhaps not entirely. He remembers every piece of himself as vividly and painfully as anything can be recalled, and all it has done is torment him because he never knew how to confront it. But he will find his way, I have faith in that."
Grunting, Obito set his cup down before him. "Yeah, I'd actually say that's a very different kind than mine."
Letting out a content sigh, Iroh closed his eyes. "You feel there is more than one kind of lost?"
Obito resumed poking at the fire with the stick he had found, trying to rationalize in his head what he actually thought about what he meant.
"You can be lost, in a physical sense where you don't know where you are. You can be lost like me where you have no past that you can remember and it leaves you in limbo, unsure and distant to everything as you try and figure your own path."
He pulled the stick back and tossed it into the fire, watching it burn and blacken. "But your nephew sounds the worse off of the three. Having everything before you all lain out and still not knowing where to go sounds as terrible as it can get. If I'm honest, I'd much rather be without my memory and traveling with you, than know everything about myself and be aimless in my future."
Letting his words hang over the fire, Obito paused to wonder if actually meant what he said before a long, intake of breath on the other side of the fire stirred him and he looked up.
Iroh's chin had sagged to his chest and he appeared to have fallen asleep sitting down. Obito sighed.
Maybe it's better he didn't hear that.
Finishing off his tea, he got to his feet and kicked the fire out before walking over and gently laying Iroh down, laying the old man's blanket over him.
"Good night, Iroh," Obito muttered. "Thanks for the tea."
Under the gently flickering lights in the night sky, he stretched out on his own blankets and fell asleep very quickly as the last of the fire's embers popped and sizzled out.
"Oh my goodness… it's really gorgeous."
"Katara, I thought we talked about describing really nice things when you're well aware I can't partake."
"Sorry, Toph…"
Aang laughed at the exchange that took place next to him and stared out at the sight before them. The coast they were flying over was a beach of pale sand that stretched into the distance as far as they could see from their lowering altitude. From the beach inland from any distance from a dozen meters to several dozen a luscious green tree line carpeted towards the innards of the island wherein occasional specks of dark indicating the remains of the aforementioned abandoned temples and dwellings. The ocean was a deep clear blue and almost seemed to merge with the horizon that led into the expansive cloudless sky that domed above them, the sun beating down with a fervent warmth. To Aang, it was as relieving a sight as any locale could be; it was distant and vacant, and beautiful to boot.
Ty Lee looked over at Mai, chewing on her bottom lip with an air of nerves. "Mai, are you sure that this is as safe as you think? Isn't there a chance that some vacationers who didn't want to be too close to the festival might have come out here?"
Shaking her head, Mai gestured back the way they had come. "The festival and most of the prime spots and beaches are down the coast, down the west side and an island over. This would be pretty far out of anyone's way. Besides, don't let the nice weather fool you; this place stays pretty deserted because most of the thunderstorms roll over this part of the island chain first before dissipating over the inland."
Toph, who was leaning over the railing, her unseeing eyes looking out towards nothing in particular, punched Sasuke in the ribs; Aang, alongside the rest, visibly tensed as she did so, but Sasuke had no visible reaction.
"Well, freak? Look as pretty as everyone seems to think?"
"Hmm," was all Sasuke said, and Toph nodded glumly.
"I feel the same way."
Aang exchanged looks with Katara and she looked just as befuddled as he felt, if a bit more worried, but it was clear that Toph and Sasuke's relationship was something a little more unique than they might have guessed.
To his right, Azula looked entirely unimpressed with her arms crossed as she jutted her chin towards the beaches. "I don't suppose we have some idea on where to put this thing down; if any airship passes over this part of the island, it won't be nearly as easy to hide as your flying carpet."
Aang gave the princess a look, but knew that scolding her for speaking demeaningly about Appa would be less than productive. But as if on cue, Appa himself swung out of the sky above them to pull up alongside the airship; from his back, Sokka gave them a wave as he called out.
"About a half mile east there's a gorge a little ways inland that we could probably set it down."
Mai nodded, "Lead the way." Sokka gave a thumbs up and urged Appa down towards the island as Zuko moved to the ship's steering. The ship dipped to the right in order to follow and Toph made an uncomfortable noise as she stumbled and began to fall. Aang moved forward to keep her from tumbling down the deck, but to his further surprise, Sasuke reached out without looking and snagged her by the back of her shirt and then slung her against the railing which she clung to for dear life, looking both sick and embarrassed.
"Thanks," she muttered in a tone that was barely audible. Aang nearly chuckled at that and looked to Katara again, but she didn't return his glance and he saw she was still staring at the back of Sasuke's head with eyes partially narrowed. Sighing quietly, Aang looked out forward; he had hoped that whatever Katara and Sasuke had talked about would have been enough to at least curb the animosity that had boiled between them, but now things were even more up in the air then before. Ever since they had all gotten up that morning, as Sasuke had resolutely ignored most of them, Katara had kept a vigilant eye on him as though expecting some hideous betrayal out of the blue. Aang wished he had the gall to confront both of them, but the mere idea of getting in both their faces about their conflict terrified him.
I can face down the Fire Nation army… but I can't tell Katara and Sasuke that they're both being stupid.
An odd thought to say the least.
From where he stood beside Toph at the forefront of the ship, Sasuke was not oblivious to the attention he was receiving. He knew Aang was probably looking at him sadly, trying to figure out how to smooth things over between him and the group, he knew Ty Lee and Mai were still all probably staring daggers into the back of his head. Katara was likely keeping as close an eye on him as she could in order to make sure he had no intention of breaking their deal, and Zuko was surely back there still entirely unsure of how to react to him.
But it was Azula that Sasuke's thoughts kept returning to.
It had surprised him when he had walked on deck that morning and the very sight of her had been enough to cause his heart to skip a beat as he half expected her to lash out at him, but she had just turned quickly away. She was just a little behind him to his left now, and he found that he couldn't keep his mind off her.
Did what I said last night mean anything to her? Is she back on the warpath and wanting to kill me? Is she scared?
The most aggravating thought was that her denial of her self was something that Sasuke had a sinking feeling had once been applicable in his own life, perhaps to a much more severe degree. He hated how the memories he could recall were feelings and ideas more than actual recollections; it made piecing things together so much more difficult.
Glancing at Toph to make sure that she was safely secure clutching the railing for their descent, Sasuke turned and pushed past the members of the group to go below deck. If he could help it, he would rather not be getting constantly eyed up any more than he had to, and his bunk would provide him with just the comfort he needed for the next half hour while the ship was guided down.
"Sasuke."
Stifling a wince, Sauske turned to see that the hatch to below deck had reopened despite his closing of it. Mai was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking intently his direction, arms crossed.
"Yeah?" he asked bluntly. He had no time for a lecture right now, or a chewing out, or whatever the hell these people wanted to throw at him now. Mai turned around to look and see if they were being overheard and opted to close the hatchway just in case. She turned back to him, her piercing expression staring fiercely through him.
"When we land, Ty Lee and I want a word with you."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You can skip it; Katara already dressed me down back at the temple."
Seeming to bristle, Mai slowly sucked in a breath as though trying to keep herself from shouting. "It's not like that, but I promise it's more important."
She inclined her head in his direction and narrowed her eyes further.
"So don't you get any ideas of running off by yourself too quickly. Even if you do, we'll find you."
And just as quickly as she had come down, she strode back above deck, slamming the hatch behind her with clear aggression. Sasuke looked after her for a long second, before giving a frustrated sigh and dropping down on his bunk and pondering a last thought before closing his eyes.
Just how many of these women are going to try and kill me before this week is out?