CH4

A/N: Disclaimer time (i forgot to put this in the previous chapters pls don't sue me) I don't own BNHA or RvB, props to their respective owners

~~Don't worry, everything's recorded.~~ Blitz assured them

"That's...kinda creepy." A lightbulb went off in Tucker's head. "Do Carolina and York have-" Wash's gloved hand clamped over his mouth.

"Shh!" He warned. "Caboose is here." Tucker pulled his hand off his mouth and wiped his mouth clean.

"Bitch! You made me bite my tongue." Tucker winced. "Caboose needs to grow up anyways."

~~Since I know what you were about to say, I can answer discreetly.~~ Blitz shrugged. ~~I can neither confirm nor deny for privacy issues, and the fact that I have to make this PG.~~

"PG is the worst." Grif complained. "There's no good 'material' if you know what I mean."

"The only 'material' you watch is foodporn." Simmons snickered.

"Wait, how do you know that?" Grif pulled out his phone and furiously began deleting his search history.

~~You guys are an absolute mess.~~ Blitz sighed. ~~Anyways, double episode today cause you missed last one.~~

CH3 plays.

"So the Meta is alive." Tucker remarked nonchalantly.

"You did notice Carolina said Maine, not Meta." Wash pointed out. "She still sees some good in him."

"Yeah, it's not like he didn't try and kill her before." Tucker snorted. "It's not like he tried to kill all of us. Goddammit, why do I have to be the only one with common sense?"

"If you had any common sense, you would've realised the Meta, er I mean Maine, was under the influence of Sigma." Wash countered. "If any of us had been in his place we would've probably been corrupted too."

"I've dealt with AI before, I bet I could handle this scary Sigma guy."

"I don't think that Church exactly counts as one."

"We had Delta and Omega for a bit."

"1, how long did you last against Omega? 2, Delta was helping you."

"Will you guys quit bickering? We got another video to go through." Simmons interrupted.

The Meta/Maine gave whoever yelled at him the finger. Another person donning power armor stepped through, but it was difficult for them to discern who it was at first. They blended perfectly in the shadows of the sewer and were nearly invisible until they stepped into the dim light provided by a few lamps and flashlights.

"Oy, oy. What did I say about getting into fist fights, Meta?" Tex complained.

"Maine." Maine corrected briefly.

"Whatever, Maine, Meta, don't really give a shit." Tex roughly grabbed Maine by the arm and walked headed towards a ladder on the wall. The muscular Yakuza made a threatening move, but was quickly nullified by a hard right jab from Tex. York and Carolina could see that Tex had made quite a few upgrades to her armor, which they and Maine apparently had neglected to do. The more noticeable additions were small spikes jutting out from the knuckles and toes, as well as slightly larger ones on the shoulders.

"Didn't know she was a death metal fan." York whistled.

"Huh? York?" Tex whipped around. Before they could say hi Maine was pulled by the waist down the long corridor, and York narrowly almost followed him if it weren't for Carolina gripping tight on his torso. The unconscious Yakuza was hidden, stuck in a ditch he had fallen in, and remained put. Moments later Tex and Carolina were pulled too, but York returned the favor and clenched Carolina's hand. There was a dull clang as Tex hit whatever was on the other end.

"The hell? Some kind of giant magnet down there?" Both activated their magnifying settings on their helmets, but were unable to see past the darkness.

"Oh ho, Akako Tanaka and Shunichi Fukada! We meet again!" The ground beneath them shook as someone landed heavily behind them. There was now a huge hole in the ceiling, and light was pouring in. Carolina and York swung their rifles at the interrupter, but they found they were aiming at a brightly colored and latex-covered stomach. The person they were aiming at was none other than the towering Symbol of Justice, All Might.

"Would now be a good time to tell you that there are multiple hero teams converging on your location?" Delta asked hopefully out of nowhere.

"A few hours ago would've been nice." York sighed.

"I'm not here to fight! Instead, I am here to ask you something!" All Might gave them a gleaming smile, which forced the ex-Freelancers to darken their visors. As he stretched out his arm to offer a handshake, time slowed again.

Perfect timing. Carolina thanked whatever or whoever was causing these distortions. She hoisted a perfectly still York over her shoulder and quickly climbed out of the sewers and popped out of a manhole. She ran away from the police blockade surrounding the hole in the ground and barely made it a few blocks before time resumed again. York was confused on how he got to where they were, but both knew they had little time before they were found again. Considering how they knew Carolina's face, she couldn't go anywhere outside anymore, which was a major setback.

When they snuck back to their temporary base of operations, they found a note on the front door stating that they had a few days before things got really ugly. Inside, the entire building was trashed, tables overturned and walls smashed. Their ammunition and storage room was untouched, as Delta had them install metal plating to the walls and door.

Meanwhile, back at the sewer, the heroes were in a frantic, trying to discover where the two had gone.

"Check the footage from nearby cameras!" Tsuragamae barked.

"We're trying, but it appears all the footage has been corrupted or deleted!" A police officer responded.

"What about the nearby streets?"

"Also taken down."

"One of these days we're going to track these rodents down." Tsuragamae then hastily added. "But not like a cat. Cats are the worst."

"I guess we ought to move." Carolina groaned. It was the end of the day, as they had wasted what time they had left cleaning the entire building, room by room. "They know where we live now."

"I wish we could just not have to live like this anymore." York stretched his arms and legs. "It's fun being a soldier, but it ain't fun being a criminal."

"I wonder how Maine and Tex got here…" Carolina switched topics.

"Probably same way as we did." York shrugged.

"Hold up, you guys met Tex?" Church yelled.

Few days back, around the time when Carolina and York got teleported.

Tex had just had the strangest dream, but she couldn't recall any of it. Well, she couldn't recall most of it. She distinctly remembered three words, but nothing else. I forget you. For some reason, she just couldn't get those words out of her head. She distinctly remembered getting stabbed in the head by the Meta on Sidewinder and all the events before, but since then it felt like she had lived a lifetime, and then forgotten all of it. Around her was complete darkness, and she struggled to move. She could see little pinpricks of light against the pitch black background and realized they were stars.

So I'm in space, huh.

"All right, last one to check off…" Someone buzzed on her radio. She creaked her head around and saw someone standing on a piece of metal debris, furiously typing on a glowing device. "Oh hey, you're already here."

"Who...am I?" Tex asked over the radio.

"Oh, going with the deep, philosophical questions, now are we?" The person slightly shook his, she assumed it was a he because she couldn't see any tits, head, which she figured was him rolling his eyes. "I guess you were Tex number 1, got killed in an emp, became Tex numero dos, got stabbed in the face, and was revived by your AI boyfriend into who you are now."

"Wha-?" Her voice was replaced by a whirring sound. Her voice box had been damaged by the storage units blade, and the few words she spoke completely trashed it.

"That might be a problem. Eh, I'm too lazy to dismantle you and fix all your parts." He snapped his fingers and Tex felt a weird sensation come over her. "That should do the trick."

The first thing she noticed was the massive whole in her visor being patched up. The next thing she noticed was that the residual hum that resonated from her batteries was replaced by a wet, squelchy beating. Her nose was slightly runny and-

Wait a minute. I shouldn't have a nose… Her hands felt warm and when she tried speaking, it felt natural.

"Thanks?"

"No problemo. Anyways, off you go!" He booted Tex into a portal that had opened up behind her.

"Oww, oww oww-" She wasn't used to pain, as her robot body didn't have any sensation. She had crashed face first onto a piece of pavement. Tex looked around and saw that she was in a dimly lit room, with a singular door. The room looked quite normal, a mat acting as a bed, and a slightly rotting table with an empty bowl. She heard grunting from the other side of the door, and punted said door open.

"150, 151, 151…" A slightly overweight man was doing pushups on the cold floor with his back to her. He was sweating heavily and didn't seem to notice Tex kicking the door. She carefully took out her pistol and pointed it at him. As she walked towards him, she noticed his head was covered with a familiar, white helmet. This time, the man heard the clunk of her boots, and twisted his head.

"Meta!" Tex quickly pumped a round where his head should be, but he barely rolled out of the way. She swung her hand around, but found she was unused to her human body and ended up on the floor.

"Hey, I'm not here to fight." He said in a gravelly voice. She tried getting up, but he merely sat on her. "I'm just here to work out."

"Get off me fatass!" Tex complained.

"Will you shoot me?"

"Duh."

"Then no." He declined. "I'm not the Meta by the way. My name is Maine. There's a distinction."

"Ok, Maine. My ass feels like it's breaking, so will you get the fuck off me?"

"Bullshit. Robots don't feel their asses."

"I ain't no robot anymore." Tex replied glumly. She honestly preferred her robot body over this squishy form.

"How?"

"Does it look like I know? Anyways, how'd you put on so much weight?"

"I'm going to assume you came through a portal like I did. It sent me back in time to when I was 25."

"I thought you were a muscly brute your entire life." Tex snorted. "Popped out of your mom's pussy benching 60 kilos."

"I wish." Maine lessened the pressure on Tex. "I was overweight when the Great War started, and I wasn't drafted into the military. I wanted to do something, so I started training, but the moment I joined the Marines I got picked up by Freelancer. Now, you answer my question. Why aren't you a robot."

"Didn't know you had all that in you. And I wasn't lying when I said I had no clue." Tex grumbled. "I have a question of my own. Where in God's asshole are we?"

"Japan, alternate universe." Maine shrugged.

"Hold the fuck up. Alternate universe?"

"One, you're not an android. That should be enough explanation. Two-" Maine took his helmet off, which revealed short black hair and dark yellow eyes, but an otherwise boring face. He pointed to his eyes, which Tex now realized were nothing like normal. "We're in a cartoon."

"Oh for fucks sake-"

As it turns out, Tex still had some AI like features residing in her, as she could understand Japanese quite fluidly, despite never having studied the language. Maine had a little bit more trouble, hence his inability to get work. He mused that having an AI would be helpful, but Tex quickly shut him up with a reminder of Sigma. They were camped out in a sewer, and primarily lived off of stealing. They hadn't killed anyone yet, just small scale ATM robberies and grocery nabbing. They read the news and adjusted to their new world, learning about heroes and villains.

One problem they had was trying to get Tex's helmet off. For some reason it was completely clamped shut, but the rest of her armor was able to come off cleanly. She had fair skin, big tits, and lots of muscle. Maine whistled a little when the chest piece came off, and was forced to avoid a clumsily delivered punch. The helmet issue was dealt with using a hoodie, which they had scrounged up from a low hanging clothing rack. Tex was slowly getting the hang of her new body with help from Maine, who continuously pushed her in his exercise regimen and dieting. Maine regained his usual muscular form, and life was good.

Until Tex was nearly crushed by a man falling from the ceiling. She was modifying her armor, adding a little bit of spikes here and spray painting a skull there, when a large man fell ass-first onto her head. She figured it was just Maine, but saw that the person on top of her had long reddish-brown hair, instead of the familiar black buzzcut. She quickly kicked hard in the back, sending him flying across the room.

"Yo Meta." She called over her helmet radio. "We got intruders."

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's Maine?" He quipped.

"Shut the hell up and get your lazy ass over here." Tex heard him grumble a bit as he suited up. Tex observed the now demolished room. There were three new bodies on the floor, the big guy, a smaller big guy, and a medium guy. All were unconscious except for the big guy, who was struggling to his feet, and they all had bird shaped masks on. Suddenly, a white-gauntleted fist smashed through the wall and clamped onto the reddish-haired man's face, pulling him backwards and toppling the wall in the process, filling the room with dust.

Tex scrambled to put on the gear she was modifying, and she could hear metal smashing metal as Maine and the other guy duked it out. When she finally got all her gear on, she took a few potshots with her pistol at the intruder, which ricocheted off of his metal-clad hands. The bullets distracted him, which allowed Maine to get a good grip on him and boot him into the wall. Right before he hit the concrete, however, a hole opened up, allowing the man to stagger through.

I think you guys know how the rest plays out.

"Oh boy, Church is gonna have a field day finding Tex." Tucker chuckled. "Ooh and she is smoking hot now."

"He did spend his entire time in the storage unit trying to remember her, and now she's set in front of him in a nice, neat package." Washington observed. He remembered Church's pain, both the Alpha and Epsilon unit's, and thought it was nice he could get a second chance. Well, probably not a second chance. More like 16th.

"There's a slight issue, though." Simmons piped up. "Delta and Church got transported there, so why didn't Sigma and the other's do as well?"

"Maine might be hiding something." Grif spoke through a mouthful of chips. He felt at ease, not having to worry about Sarge sticking his shotgun up his ass.

"I'm sure that if Sigma got transported, there wouldn't be a Maine." Wash shuddered at the thought.

"OhmygodifFrecklescangethisownbodywewouldhavesomanymoreadventurestogetheranditwouldbesomuchfun!" Caboose realized. "Where can I get one of those!"

"Caboose brings up a good point. How did mystery man (talking about Blitz) transfer Tex?" Wash wondered.

"Well, Church had his own body back in Blood Gulch." Tucker pointed out.

"Yeah, but that was an AI implant onto another person. I didn't see the guy bringing up another body in space."

~~Ahem, if you guys are done with the chitchat.~~ A voice asked from the monitor. ~~As a heads up this will probably be the last time I'm seeing you, as someone is switching out for me.~~

"Hell yeah, we don't get to hear your ugly ass voice no more!" Tucker celebrated.

~~I will ignore that and carry on.~~ He visorpalmed. ~~So, you guys have any idea on what to do?~~

"We're just enjoying the show." Grif said lazily.

~~Goddammit…I guess I'll have to force your hand or something.~~

"Force our hand?"

~~Anyways, good luck. By the way…

Seven days are left. The clock continues.

Also remember to have a good night's sleep. You'll probably need it.~~

"Talking to those dimwits is a pain and a half." Blitz complained.

"You don't have to remind me." The woman commiserated.

"Haha, I get a free week after this." He laughed at her upcoming misery. "You get to feel my pain."

"Ah well." The woman lit a smoke and shoved Blitz out of his chair. "So what do I gotta do?"

"Er I got a script around here somewhere." He rummaged through a cardboard box and pulled out a moldy looking paper.

"Yuck."

A/N CH4 done. Mhm very yes