"Look for the bear necessities the simple bear necessities forget about your worries and your strife"

Hotch and Morgan quickened their footsteps as they heard Reid sing the carefree tune but stopped in their tracks at the heartbreaking sight in front of them: Reid was cradling an infant in his arms, while simetionely holding onto the arm of a little boy no older than four. Reid slowly swayed his body as he sung a gentle smile on his face, he abruptly stopped at the sight of his colleagues but quickly started swaying as the baby grew agitated.

"Hey David why don't you go finish that picture for your mom." Reid said disengaging his hand.

Reid waited until David was happily engrossed in his drawing before walking over to them. Before he could explain JJ came out of Chief Welton's office with a pretty red haired woman in her mid twenties her eyes red from crying. Reid went back over to David and after a few words brought him over to his mother who was waiting in the middle of the bullpen. Reid waited as his mom knelt down to take the drawing and hug her son tightly. Spencer handed over the baby when she stood and put a hand on her shoulder. The woman nodded at whatever he said and gave him a tight tear filled smile. Reid knelt down and spoke to David before getting to his feet and hurrying to the bathroom. Morgan went to the bathroom after five minutes and knocked on the door. When Reid didn't respond he started to open the door, but Reid was quicker and pushed past him and hurried out of the station. Morgan looked at Hotch who signaled for him to follow. Morgan found Reid across the street in a small park slumped across a tree.

"Hey kid how are you?" Morgan asked softly

"I just need some air." Reid said straightening up a little

"Yeah, okay I get that." Morgan said

"I'll go back in a minute; you can tell Hotch that I'll be back soon." Reid said starting to walk further into the park.

Morgan starting following him Reid turned on him fiercely "What are you doing? I don't need a babysitter."

"I just want you to know you're not alone, that we have you're back."

That only infuriated Reid more "I know that, and " Reid took a shuddery breath "That means the world to me but " his tone grew low and angry "I am not suicidal, I would never do that in a middle of a case not when families need justice and the team needs what little help I can give."

"That's not why I'm here." Reid gave him a measured stare and Morgan's glance unwittingly went to Reid's belt where his side arm used to be "Not entirely, what you did with those children must have been hard for you, I just want to offer what support I can."

"It wasn't hard, with Henry, with those kids, it never goes away." Reid gave a slight smile "I used to sing Lily to sleep. Sometimes when I had an exam or paper I'd tuck her in the crook of my arm and hold a book in the other hand. For hours I'd pace and study, sing songing the words from my textbooks." Reid put a hand on the back of a bench and sat down heavily " All these memories, feelings I could tuck away for nine years I mean she was there but I could compartmentalize put Lily away and focus on work, my mom whatever I had to do. Now I can't she's always present always at the forefront of my mind. I just want remember everything but , " Reid put his head in his hands. Morgan sat down next to him, Reid's shoulder's started shaking as he started to cry and Morgan instinctively put a hand on his shoulder.

Reid shook of his hand and jumped to his feet. "We have to get back to work; I don't want another family to lose a father, a husband." He said wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

Morgan stood and put a hand on Reid's arm "Okay, we'll get some coffee and then head back."

Reid looked at him then slowly nodded and the two men left the park.

No one questioned the two men when they came back with coffee but all photos of families had been tucked away and the blinds on the conference room where they worked had been pulled down. Reid fell to work but it became quickly apparent that he couldn't work as he used to. He kept grabbing files, and then haphazardly putting stacking them in different piles, writing random notes on his note pad before finally getting to his feet to stare at the map. His family straightened out his mess and didn't say a word respecting his pain. The case thankfully was slowly coming together helped out by the fact that the latest victim had only recently moved to town and only had a few connections there.

"Come on Reid, it's Eight let's get some food and sleep." Emily said putting a hand on his shoulder

Reid jumped slightly drawing a line on his map. He nodded and grabbing his bag was actually the first to leave the station, followed shortly by Rossi. They went to a burger joint where Reid had a few bites before pushing his plate away. No one commented but Hotch ordered another burger to take out. When they got to the hotel they went to their rooms, at 11 o clock Hotch and Rossi received a knock at their door.

Opening it they found Reid dressed in sweats and a t-shirt carrying a chess board. "I'm sorry I know it's late but I wanted to know if either of you would be willing to play a game of chess."

"Of course kid." Rossi said signaling for Reid to come inside.

Reid set up the chessboard, while Hotch got out the extra burger and heated it up along with a salad. Rossi and Reid played for an hour with Reid absent mindedly eating on the food Hotch had placed next to him.

"I'm sorry, I should have dealt with this long before now." Reid said after Rossi checkmated him.

"We all grieve differently, and it can take some people a long time to be comfortable enough to deal with their grief." Hotch taking Rossi's place at the chessboard.

"I know, Gideon offered to help me but I wasn't ready then. I just wanted to put my past behind me and start afresh. I thought I could everything behind me, but I quickly learned Lily would always be with me." Reid said

"Jason knew?" Hotch said "He never told me."

"I told him I could handle it and he respected my desire to keep Lily private. Every year I would go to his house and we would play chess and other games. When Gideon left I started walking, I would walk for hours until I was so exhausted I couldn't think, could barely take another step. I would go home and sleep or go to work." Reid said moving his knight to the far side of the board.

Neither man said a word after Hotch soundly beat Reid, Reid left for his own room, while Rossi, and Hotch stayed up talking.

The next day Reid was going through records when Morgan's phone rang. Upon hearing it was Garcia Reid left the room accompanied by Emily. Morgan put it on speaker phone.

"Hey Baby Girl what do you have for us?"

"Something strange and heartbreaking: you know how JJ asked me to look up Rose Singer."

Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan all turned to stare demanding at JJ explaination "I just wanted to know if she was planning a memorial for Lily that's all."

"She is three days from now in Los Vegas for her daughter Lily Singer. But the strange thing is this video I found of her and a boy I believe is Reid." Garcia said

Hotch glanced into the bullpen upon finding Emily and Reid nowhere in sight he shut the door. "Could you play the video for us?" He asked turning on the team's laptop.

"Of course." Garcia said

She pulled up the video and the team saw a hospital room, Reid was lying on the bed on his back gently cradling Lily in his arms, Rose was lying beside them on her side her braid partially undone causing hair to fall on Lily and Rose. Lily was clutching her Teddy Bear tightly in her arms curled up in a ball. The video started playing and the team heard Reid and Rose singing though the audio was too low to make out what they were singing. Rose stroked Lily's hair, while Reid would pause and kiss Lily's head.

Suddenly the team heard Reid singing behind them.

A/N Here is the fifth chapter, I know this been a hard year for everyone. For me I lost my Grandmother to Ovarian Cancer. This is rather a personal story because I first wrote this story two years ago after my other Grandmother died. I wish and hope all my readers a happy new year. Thank you for reading my stories and I greatly appreciate all my Follows/ Favorites and Reviews.