A/N: Greetings Everyone! I hope you are well. Thank you so much for the reviews!

Keep em coming… YOU are my motivation. So keep reading and reviewing. I am looking forward to hearing from you about how you think the story is going and if you have any suggestions? While this week has been hard… if this gives you even a moment of escapism, it's worth it.
The next chapter coming in a few days will be a rare take from Bella's point of view, summing up her thoughts since Edward's call...

I hope you enjoy… R/R

Stephenie Meyer owns all of Twilight, no matter what the haters say about her writing 15 years ago or two weeks ago… I owe her a big thank you for giving me this outlet, and her constant dedication to her fans. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter Six: Understanding

Bella slept soundly, for which I was grateful. If I was human and if I could sleep… I wouldn't have slept last night. Impossible.

Hearing the thoughts of the nurses and doctors gossiping, and Alice playing the entire conversation she had with Charlie, gave me an overload of insight about what Bella went through over the last seven months. While I am relieved to be here, to be with my Bella, I do not understand why she wants to be with me.
My angel found the crook of my neck, where she fit as if no time had passed. My rapid, repeating thoughts about the letter she chucked through my window haunted me all night long. I couldn't help but laugh at how wrong I've been for over a century. I thought my gentleman instincts and general respect for women was something I carried over into this life. Human traits, along with my gift, would guide me through eternity, and it had…. Until Bella.

I made Bella feel like a whore, unintentional as it may have been, I'm repulsed by myself. The intended goal was to give her what she needed to achieve her dreams. I wanted her to go after becoming an editor, or an English professor with as few obstacles as possible. I wanted Bella to have a long and happy life. I went about it all wrong, and in every way possible. It was a boneheaded, tone-deaf move. I thought of Bella as a whole, not her specifically, but what I thought all humans want. But Bella does not like gifts, expensive gestures or being spoiled. Bella is not like all humans.

I am tone deaf with Bella. She keeps so much to herself and downplays or edits everything she says aloud. I don't know how to get better at this, better for her, better for an amazing life together. We disagree entirely about money and gifts. She will join our family, and that is how my family is. I can try to change my ways; they may adjust but will not change entirely.

It terrifies me upon her change, all of what I rely on to read what is going on in her head will disappear. The beautiful chocolate colored eyes that owned me at first sight, replaced by crimson and amber. No longer will I notice her breath hitch, or know she is asleep with its rhythm. No longer will blush and tears betray her, and her telltale heart will never beat again. I've never admitted that to myself before, and now with the change imminent I should admit this terrifying truth to Bella. What if this 'forever' together becomes intolerable? I do not intellectually understand how Bella sees all of me and loves me, regardless.

Give and take, compromise, communicate, be her person.

"Whoa! That is a sad face! What's going on?" Bella asked.

I didn't notice she was awake. Bella stared up at me, her V-shaped scowl prominent.

Smoothing the scowl, I replied, "I'd like to talk about it once we have privacy. My family has spent this entire time getting your house nice and comfortable for you to come home to. Carlisle will discharge you soon."

"Yikes! That bad?" Bella looked a little green. Is she worried?

"No, you wanted me to talk to you, and I want to, I need to. I need to unburden myself. That's how this works right?"

Bella cocked her head to the side, her eyes softening. "Yes, it is. Edward, it will be okay. We needed a reboot seven months ago; we needed to talk and listen to each other. I see you trying, and I know change is difficult for you. We'll work it out so long as you no longer think about running away—I am more and more confident you won't."

"You will have a troublesome time getting rid of me." I said, unable to stop the smile from appearing on my face.

"Good."

"It is… because it's true."

"And I believe you, Edward."

xxxxxx

Walking into Bella's house through the door felt unusual, even more so since neither of us quite recognized it from the one we left just a few days earlier. Silent in her observations per usual, this was not a home redecorated with Ikea furniture. Bella gritted her teeth and repeated the mantra of "Charlie's last wishes, Charlie's last wishes."

The dread I'd already been aching with amped, this wasn't a good idea. Bella doesn't enjoy being forced into accepting such grandiose gestures and gifts. Luck was in my family's favor, for as much as Bella didn't speak car and driver, or Dolce and Gabbana, Home and Garden was not in her wheelhouse either. My quick survey of everything I'd seen so far must have cost over a hundred thousand dollars; I had no clue what they did upstairs.

The kitchen and entire house hadn't been touched in 18 years. Now the cabinets were new, and painted white with various shades of white, gray, and navy. The color scheme fits the family and who they are. Bella has a stainless-steel chef's kitchen with smart utilities, including a fridge. Bella tried to fight her lip twitching upward, turning into a full-blown smile looking at the frames moved from the living room to the dining room. The absence of photos of Renee outside the family photos was uplifting. Charlie had more pictures of Bella than he let on. I recognized her yearly school photos. One photo Charlie took before prom, in her dress. The addition of her senior photo made me ill. Bella won't be receiving her degree in person; this photo was the only thing that celebrated her meaningful accomplishment and milestone. I briefly wondered if she'd be willing to take it over again. She was gaunt, frowning, too skinny, her eyes absent of vitality was too much to look at.

I hated myself even more.

The living room took on another meaning; Charlie and his second family on the reservation, fishing, and photos of just him and Bella with pride blazing in his eyes. I recognized Jacob Black shoving mud pies in Bella's face as a child, and a striking landscape photograph of La Push, or what I've seen of it in other's thoughts. Emmett had to have been the one to take on this room, because it was all about comfort. From an oversized plush gray couch, two-person plush recliner to one side and on the other, Charlie's chair sat untouched. A new flat screen television and accessories hung on the wall, accompanied by floating shelves with books, board games, video games and DVD's. It felt complete with Seahawks and Mariners memorabilia placed with care. This room was a tribute to Charlie Swan's life, who he is, and what he loves — sports, fishing, his friends, and most importantly, his daughter.

I stayed silent, waiting to see Bella's reaction.

"Vampires working together is insanity! I can see this isn't for me, but for my dad, something to ease his worry about my future. Esme is an architect, after all." A light bulb must have turned on, "They aren't done, are they?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "but if I had to guess, no, they aren't. Esme will maximize the selling price. This is a great starter home, it just needs some updating."

"That is nice of her and your family. I'm touched, and I know my Dad would be too."

"You don't care?" This woman confuses me to no end.

"Well, this is my dad's house, I won't be here long, and it's not like I'm taking all of this with me when I move out."

"Having a comfort factor is nice considering you can't leave the house," I added to lighten up the room.

"We shall see. Let's see the damage upstairs." Bella made a B-Line to the bathroom, and her face lit up seeing Esme's ability to maximize small spaces. There was a bathtub, and a separate Snell shower.

"Holy Crow!" she squeaked. "This is impressive!"

Bella put her arm through mine as we went to her former bedroom. They had not touched it. Esme removed the bed. But everything else was the same. Bella should have the final say in what her room will become. My family was learning... I hope. We walked into Charlie's old room and Bella's new one in awe, this could be a new room in a new house. The white, gray and navy colors continued with splashes of purple with her new bedding on a queen-sized bed and blackout curtains. Bella now had a reading nook, with a fainting couch, and bookshelves packed with her favorites and some of my family's. I recognized some of Carlisle's most cherished books he's collected throughout his long existence. I wonder if Bella knows what that gesture means. I was taken aback.

We came to a grinding halt before opening the closet door.

"I swear I will kill Alice if she packed my closet full of party dresses and heels!" Bella meant it.

Snickering, I answered, "I hope she's smarter than that." I meant that too.

Alice had gone shopping, but absolutely everything was Bella's style, thank god. My favorite sister impressed me with this gesture. I thought she would never stop trying to change how Bella dressed. I've always hated this, I fell in love with the woman next to me in her jeans and chucks. High heel shoes invite injuries. This time, I will pick a fight with anyone who thinks she should change, as I should have before. I hope Alice sees my resolve.

"Phew," Bella said, laughing. "This is all insane! My life has turned around entirely over the last 48 hours! It's dizzying!"

Bella gasped, spotting clean, enlarged, and framed photos that blanketed one wall. Some photos were the ones missing from the living room of Renee, photos taken by Esme and Alice of the two of us and my family. I didn't know what to think about seeing photos that brought new life to her new room, from under the floorboard in Bella's old room.

"Did you give them these?" Bella asked, confused.

I walked to a cabinet below the television and handed her plane tickets along with the CD of her lullaby. "We should talk about this once we settle you in. A quick answer? They were never gone, just hiding under a floorboard in your room. I don't know why I did it, I guess I just wanted to leave a part of me with you. I'm sorry."

I was, once again, confused by her response, Bella put her lips to mine and smiled. "Seeing all this makes me feel healed, like I can breathe again. What I see in front of me is a fixed part of my future, everything that I love is represented. Edward, you're here with me, wanting to spend two weeks locked in together. I am choosing to be happy… because… that… this … is what my dad wanted for me, and it is perfect."

I don't have the words for the powerful emotions Bella evoked in that statement. I did not have to say anything, I could tell she saw it.

"Why don't you get settled, and I'll make you soup and a sandwich? Meet me downstairs."

Bella nodded and made her way to the bathroom. She wanted to soak in her new tub, she hardly looked like someone with a deadly virus. Carlisle was right about her emotional state.

After changing into black yoga pants and a tank top, Bella got comfortable on the new couch.

Bella took a deep breath and started, "Okay, so let's talk."

"I'm sorry," I blurted out, ashamed.

"You've said that a lot."

"I have, but not for all that I did." I closed my eyes and took an unnecessary breath. "Bella, the damage I caused in your life seems unforgiveable, I am repulsed I said the words I did, and equally repulsed about how I made you feel. I have been around for a while."

"Decrepit," Bella interrupted.

"Yes, yes, an exceedingly long time. I never thought I could wound someone so deeply. I do not know how you can forgive me. I made you feel like a whore, and I am so sorry. That was not my intention, it's my nightmare. No matter the intent, it is the results that matter. I remember you telling me you wanted to be an editor, or a professor, and with all my misreading of the situation I needed you to have the means to do so. I know in actuality I did it to make myself feel better for what I did. I can only tell you I recognize how wrong it was."

Bella's eyes widened, "Oh! Is Esme mad at me?"

I barked a laugh, "no, she doesn't blame you, she'd do the same. Do not worry about the window." I stopped and looked down; how could I bring this up? "Here is the thing, our opinions differ with money, gifts, being taken care of or doted on and you don't tell me how I can be better at this. I want to be better for us, but I don't understand. You are one of the few humans I have come across that don't like large monetary gestures or being the center of attention. You are and always will be a member of my family, Carlisle made a promise to Charlie that he'd look after you, even if he has to adopt you."

Bella's eyes widened again, "what? You want me to be your sister?"

Okay, we're on the same page there.

"No! I understand why Charlie wants that, he doesn't trust me to fulfill that promise and it was from one father to another. I can see your side of wanting to be a vampire because we would be singled out, we would always face public ridicule and it would make our life much harder. I am old-fashioned Bella; I was born in a different time. A time when there was no mistaking a man's intentions. I have seen what finding your mate means, it's a forever thing. I want what my family has, I didn't know that until I met you. I also don't want to scare you away with what I would like to see in that future, and my intentions."

Bella was quiet, "I am so glad you understand! But you will have to explain Pacific Northwest Trust in more detail later, and I agree with you. I don't mean to single you out, Edward. I too have seen and felt what losing your mate is like. For all her evilness, Victoria is a perfect example of that. She's willing to turn the world to ash to avenge James, and in that I understand. Your family comes from the world of 'having more money than you can spend.' I come from the world of 'never having enough money to spend.' I don't need big expensive gifts given without consideration to what I want, and who I am. I worked and paid the bills with Renee. I balanced the checkbook so letting go of that control is scary, depending on someone else terrifies me."

I took another deep breath, noticing only a slight burn. What the hell happened?

"You aren't scared about becoming a vampire? Bella, release some control to allow us to help you get through the first years of the process, because they aren't easy. I suspect you have a gift too. You don't trust me, as your mate, to take care of you? For the first time in 119 years I have someone who I want to give the world to, but no idea how to strike a compromise in what I know and what you do because they are on the opposite spectrum. I don't know how to say, without offending you, that your truck makes me nervous, and until you change, you're vulnerable. I don't want to think about that, I don't want to lose you, be it from Covid, or an accident in a truck that yes, can take damage but does not have a single safety feature, like airbags. I have struggled with this from day one… I have intentions, Bella. I don't know if that's ever crossed your mind. I wonder all the time how it's possible to forgive and love me enough to be firm on being a vampire. You and me, forever. I'll give you the world, but there are some things I cannot."

Bella squinted and scowled, "such as?"

"Children, becoming a mother."

"Look, I've spent my entire life raising my parents. I think children are an expression of love, another life you share and shape into a good and productive member of society. Having kids is a serious responsibility you take on together as a loving family. That's what having children should be about. I wasn't aware that breeding capability was more important than… you know… love? What is this about? Your words and manner sound like you're spiraling into thoughts which convinced you to leave. Why does it matter so much that I become a mother, but not you becoming a father? It's sexist, Edward. Not all women are the same. If I cannot have a child with my husband, who I am thrilled to spend eternity with, then I don't want one. Seriously, Edward!"

She was right, in 2020 that was rare, but in my time they expected it. I might as well put it all out there.

"Bella, do you know that Jacob Black has feelings for you?"

"Yes, but I don't for him."

I kept my anger in check. How can I explain how uncomfortable that made me? Now that I have my mate, I will never let Tanya get close to me and tell her to watch her thoughts. Another time... there was something more important... Bella's happiness.

"He can give you a normal life, and I cannot! As normal as we seem, we still have parts of our lives that are so drastically off the beaten path. I don't know, I feel guilty for taking away that normalcy. I know that's cringe worthy, but I'm being honest."

"Is that what you want? For me to go have kids with Jacob? My god, Edward, that has to be one of the stupidest things you've ever said. Very dumb for such a very smart man on so many levels."

"No! I don't want that…"

Bella interrupted, "Do you think my quality of life AND happiness matter?"

"Absolutely!"

"Well then, let's think that through. Jacob will be the chief and alpha one day. That alone pins me down to a place and a life that will only exist inside the reservation. I would never see more of the world. I'd know nothing but Forks and La Push! I know our life won't be normal, Edward. I know that it will require moving suddenly, or every few years. I'm fine with that. I want to see the world! Now, let's talk about the absurdity of you wanting me to have babies with Jacob! Jacob Black Chief of the Quileute's blood line is almost certain to produce children that will turn into large, frightening DOGS! Those aren't babies, they are half puppies!"

I tried to cough over my laughter, unsuccessfully… "Touche"

"Edward, what if I had a girl, inevitably to be claimed by another wolf via imprint! Where is the choice there? Or like Leah, when Jacob imprints on someone else! Like Leah, turning into a wolf herself. Gee, what a life? Forced to watch the father of your child fall in love with someone else, and because of his importance, sure, I could leave, but I wouldn't be able to take a child with me. Not if they are destined to turn into a wolf." She shuddered, "Also, he won't age until he stops phasing, which is my fucking nightmare! I will choose you each and every time without hesitation, so stop it with these thoughts!"

I kept silent for a moment, then started laughing, "you're right. I cannot imagine you, of all people, being stuck in that role. The imprinting thing is just weird has he…."

"Edward, you would know."

"I mean, they can only imprint when they wolf out."

"I saw him as a wolf, I didn't know it was him. He stared at me before ripping Laurent to shreds, but it didn't happen. It cannot happen! Not when my heart belongs to another, and it does, even when you wanted to kill me." Bella laughed hard at that one.

"Jealousy, Bella, it is such a potent emotion I did not know until I met you. Our protective instinct came before we met. It was instant and confusing. That's how vampire mating bonds work, and yes, that is precisely what makes Victoria so dangerous. I just want you to be happy… and I needed to at least tell you… there is one more thing that scares me… I realized just recently it is what has scared me more than anything… we talk, but we edit, and keep our thoughts to ourselves. I am an equal opportunity offender there. I don't know how to read you. Everything that makes you human at least gives me an idea of what you think, or your reaction to what I do. I don't know how to do this, so I need you to help me. I'm on board with give, take, compromise and communication. It's the only way we can build the trust needed for all intents and purposes."

Bella took my hand and gazed, "that won't be easy and is an act of give and take. I am glad you told me. These things are important, and I feel like I know more than I ever have. I am aware life with you won't be easy at first, and I know the next two years will be unpleasant. What I also know is that you will not disappoint me, or let me fail. I will not revolt BECAUSE of our bond. After getting through that, everything will be new, for us both, more for me, granted, but there is an enormous world out there, and I'll get to see it with you, and find my place. Seeing the world together is a dream come true. There will be times when things are quiet, domestic. We'll fight, I'd worry if we didn't but the bottom line is- I have chosen my life, now it's time for you to choose with conviction if that's the forever you want."

It didn't take me any time to answer, "I want it, I want a life with you."

Everything Bella explained filled me with relief and hope. This was the longest serious conversation we'd ever had about our relationship and now I see she has a decent understanding of the life she's entering, there was no hint of doubt in her voice

"Good, now that's enough of the heavy, what are you watching?" Bella asked.

"All about Eve."

"Oh! Tell me about Eve?"

We both laughed… Sure we have a lot to get through, but we have time, and the stark differences between what we had before and now couldn't be more drastic, or more improved. Bella curled up against me on the couch and we watched one of my favorite movies together, happily.

Everything felt right.

A/N: Again, please let me know what you are thinking about the story so far... I put Bella and Edward in quarantine together so they cannot only 'heal and reboot' but also for Bella to have her person have to cope… without seeing weakness.

Edward is also good at settling estate matters, and will steer Bella through the maze she has to… Face the reality of her wishes set into motion, two very different things... because of this the setting won't change much… Believe me when I say that Victoria did not stop seeking the revenge she's looking for, but COVID changes the way she will go about it (The Seattle references FYI. I assure you nobody has forgotten about the crazy vampire looking for revenge.) I would much rather have them come together healed as a couple and family to tackle this problem together, so Victoria might have to track the Cullens once again.
I believe it's important to glue them all back together … without manipulation … and there are some questions I would love Bella to ask The Cullens… Especially Jasper and Edward. I hope you enjoy this idea. More family, more unity, more lessons learned than angst.

I'm tired of angst, aren't you? Please let me know! As I always say, your reviews guide the story. Based on your reaction, I can tell you that Bella will be turned just as soon as she checks a few things off her human bucket list and deals with all that comes with losing your parents. No love triangle.

This chapter, and the one coming, is in memory of my Great Aunt Hazel, who was a suffragette in Kansas. I'd like to get into history, and Edward as a human BEFORE they ratified the 19th amendment. The entire concept of this story came about thinking about Edward dying from the Spanish Flu, but not before watching both of his parents die … the parallels between his situation and Bella's basically going through the same thing. There is something about a shared experience and offering a shoulder to cry on... Edward is Bella's person, and physical gestures offer more comfort than words, when words are difficult to find.
I know that was a really long chapter, with a lot of descriptors and dialogue, but they needed to say that to each other, there is a lot more but it won't be so heavy and all at once.

If you can't tell I am really not a Jacob fan… and without a baby for him to fall in love with … their time in Forks will be limited.

Please let me know what you think! This is a harder chapter because there is still so much unresolved… instead of talking about EVERYTHING... what they want and what they do… not what they say.

The next chapter will be from BPOV summarizing how her life changed since Edward called, without repetition.