A/N: Firstly, Thank you for all the reviews! I have enjoyed reading them immensely and having private conversations with you all illuminated many things for me. We may not all agree, but the ability to agree to disagree is what I love about readers. Art is subjective.
This chapter has quite a twist to the story, so your feedback is something I need as to where it should go!
This chapter was updated on October 3, 2020, because for now I have a laptop.
On 9/11 I had a house fire and lost, pretty much everything. This is the chapter I was refining literally as a fire was raging in my living room. I PROMISE I have not given up on any of my stories!
That said, writing has been hard. Um F 2020… bad days? No bad months! Argh! This chapter has taken longer to put up for that reason. I cannot promise when the next one will be up. Now that I have a laptop it should be up soon, and I hope you enjoy where the story twists.
Also, RIP Black Panther—Wakanda Forever.
Disclaimer: I did not write Twilight, Stephenie Meyer did. I only borrow the world she built to supply an alternate universe to dream about, and live in, even for a short while. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter Seven: The Road Less Traveled. (BPOV)
Edward and I spent the rest of the evening watching old movies, I dozed off with a smile on my face, frequently.
I thought I was being sneaky, changing the channel to CNN while Edward was cooking, but, as I ground my teeth, an alarm went off, one device sending Carlisle my real time vital signs alerted to a spike in my blood pressure. The television was quickly changed back to TCM. What a blessing. The channel does not have commercials.
Everything in my life differs from it was just last week.
Is it callous to be just a little happy? Happy that in one way, I feel as if the cavernous hole in my chest was never empty. Nothing is ever easy, I am sure, Jacob will never talk to me, and when he finds out, I am not sure I want him to.
My father and I were both infected by COVID-19, well, he exposed me. I feel okay, I'm tired, exhausted, no fevers, a little congested, but the worst is the headache … no, the migraine persisting.
Charlie is going to die. I was sure that Edward would try to protect me from knowing that outcome. He didn't. But there is more. This time, I am not sure I want to know what that is. I'd like to break Alice's visions interfering with our lives, and relationship. Any bad news on the horizon, specifically about me, should be something Alice tells me, not just Edward, never to hear about it. It isn't his job to break all bad news to me… he did so when I inquired, and that's something Edward avoided prior to leaving.
I love my Dad, more than words can express, but we had the talk about his job a long time ago. I've always known that he would be in harm's way, the nature of police work. My instinct to protect above all else, came from Charlie, not Renee.
Our talks so far, give me the impression that the vampire world.
Edward protected me from, so much more than I could imagine! I was guilty of not listening to him, so I couldn't be mad at him for it. I concentrated on my forever with Edward, more than I considered what that forever entailed.
I have a lot of work to do, settling my father's estate, and preparing for what comes next. To do this, I will need the entire Cullen family, and if they will make me an official member of their family via adoption or otherwise. It was time to let things go and forgive. I need to know everything, and instill confidence in my wish, so that no one, Edward specifically, will regret their decision.
I haven't asked Edward or expressed what I want from him and my transformation. I want him to make the choice, I want Edward to change me. I know, because of the treaty, and my friendship with Jake, this is dangerous. He won't respect this wish, my choice. I fear what he is capable of, he has proved his vitriol for Edward is permanent. Regardless of my happiness, he is a threat to the Cullens. Edward wouldn't have come back if I hadn't realized Jacob was talking to Edward on the phone. Jacob wants what Jacob wants, and since he joined the pack, vengeance is more important than my happiness, because it's not with him, but with someone else, his natural enemy.
There are a few things I still would like to do as a human, outside of knowing what my life will look like. I want Edward to show me the other side of it, the time and fun we can have together.
Things are different now, for as much as I love him, we know so little about each other. Edward says he does not remember much, but I have to wonder if that is true, if those memories are behind a wall that protects him from reliving the circumstances and trauma of his last days. It hurts to think of him watching his entire world disappear with his parent's death, knowing the end of his life was inevitable, at 17, dying alone, or so he thought.
It is important for me to understand why he insists we would be a better couple if he was human. I know he thinks about it, fantasizes even. He is wrong. We found each other just as fate wanted us to, he just had to wait a century, and resist killing me.
I think that's romantic.
"Edward?" The curiosity was too much.
"Yes, love?" Edward answered.
"Where are we going after I settle Charlie's affairs?" I asked.
Edward smiled, cocked his head, and answered, "anywhere you want, the world is your oyster."
I've always known that to be the truth. "I mean when the time comes to change me?"
"Well…" Edward hesitated, "I've told you about our extended family in Alaska?"
I raised an eyebrow.
"Bella, it's hard for anyone to tell what you will feel like at once after. The more people who can help you through it, the better. I think you'll like them."
"The downside?" I asked, suspicious of his dodgy answer.
"Living in Alaska?"
"You're lying to me." Totally.
"No, I just don't want you to get the wrong idea. Tanya has the tendency to be … forward? She's my cousin, an orphan herself. Our family, her sisters, Eleazar, and Carmen, are all she has. I've always turned her down, but now that I have you, I don't think it will be a problem."
Okay, I understand the whole jealousy thing.
"Is that the only choice?"
"Bella, it's entirely up to you." The tenderness in Edward's voice made me ooze with warmth. "We have few rules, but our family will be responsible for you until you are ready to merge into the human world, inconspicuously. I know what the Volturi covet, vampire's with abilities, joining their guard. I'd like to stay off their radar."
"No one is allowed to covet you, but me." I winked.
"I have no problem with that."
"Good, because you're stuck with me."
Edward kissed my forehead, "Bella, you are the only thing that I covet above all else. Yes, I love my family, but you are my mate, and that means you are at the front of the line. I doubt anyone in the family feels any different about theirs."
I knew this would make him happy, "you know, Edward, there are some places and experiences I would like to have before the change. Moments I want to capture for prosperity and never forget. Is there anything you wish you accomplished before the flu?"
Edward gave me a sad smile, "What happened to me differs from what you will go through. I didn't know what was happening, other than I was dying. The fever caused hallucination; I did not know what was happening. I believed I was dead until the venom hit my system, then I wished for death. I had voices in my head when my transformation was complete. I didn't really know Carlisle; my adopted father had saved us both from the loneliness that would be my existence if I survived. My human life was over and the faster I accepted reality, learned to control the bloodlust and voices the better. You are making the choice and understand the pain, or the initial pain because of James' venom, and I will not fail you. Where are you thinking?"
"If it makes your family more comfortable, we can try Alaska when I am ready, but with a few conditions. Like we have our own space, ours alone, no interruptions… and if Tanya cannot stop being forward physically or mentally, we leave.
I don't want to be in competition for you, or kill her as a newborn, even if there is no competition to speak of. Before that I'd like to see the UK, and the beauty of Europe, nothing lavish… I want to witness it all with my human eyes, and return with you later, to witness it all though vampire eyes, and maybe live in England."
Edward beamed, "Bella, that sounds perfect. Are you sure you are ready to leave this life behind? You know that you cannot just disappear with us, you will need to convince Forks, and La Push that you are dead."
He didn't mention Renee or Phil. My stomach knotted. "I am sparing Charlie the pain of not having to bury his child. Since you are avoiding the topic, I assume neither will Renee nor Phil."
Edward's shoulder's slumped, "Alice cannot predict a virus, but circumstances can. Your father is the police chief, in a state COVID is burning through. The decision to stay in Forks and go into law enforcement determined his fate. Your Mom, well, she's in double trouble. Florida may not be now, but it will soon become a larger hot spot, and with Phil playing ball, moving to Jacksonville set out another outcome, but no one predicted a pandemic of all things, not in 2020. I am so sorry, Bella. Renee's fate isn't solid, only their resolve to be where they are and do what they do. So, she may have to bury her child. She can never know about you, or us."
My mom would mourn. Renee's love for me I never doubted, she never knew how to show it. She was the child and I was the grownup. Truthfully, Phil seemed more concerned about this role reversal. We got along just fine, but he wanted me to have a childhood. Something Phil didn't express until our last hug prior to departing to Forks.
If I had only known it would be the last time I would see him.
"Edward, I know that we are in an awkward place, but this relationship cannot be all about me and my wants. I don't want you to forget who you are, the man I love, and as long as you aren't pushing me into something I don't want, I think we can be happy. There is one thing I want to do first, after I settle everything." I said, before looking down. Was I being too intrusive? Am I pushing memories that Edward doesn't want to relive?
"Are you going to tell me?" The curiosity on Edward's face made me want to kiss him.
"I want to go to Chicago. I want to learn as much as I can about you. I know you think about what life would be like if we had met when you were human. I need you to show me why, and how. I'll let go of my 21st century anchor so you can show me the age you came from." Suddenly I was nervous. Was this a past Edward wanted to forget? Something he didn't want?
"I'd do anything to give you a human memory, a wish, something significant, that would make you smile 100 years later." I yawned finishing the statement, feeling kinda woozy, and dazzled by Edward's smoldering gaze.
"You have given me everything I never knew I wanted. Bella, If you want to see my world, I am more than happy to do that for you. My life before the influenza was not a bad one. I was not like others my age. It frustrated my father, but my mother was sure that I was destined for more."
"Perceptive." I added.
"Understatement."
Yawning again, my eyelids fighting me. All I could eek out was, "I wish I could meet her, see just how much you were alike, like Carlisle told me."
"I feel the same, but I know she would love you. My mom could see things others could not. As a human, no one understood me more."
"Just as few know as much about others, as you do, must be genetic."
"Taking Charlie into consideration, I'd say you're correct." Edward gave me a sympathetic look and our conversation ended.
Edward hummed my lullaby. I hit dreamland soon after, but no average dreamland. Too realistic, more vivid than I'd experienced before, even the dreams of running after Edward in his absence.
I no idea where I was, and when I was.
In front of me was a busy street, a large city, the women dressed eloquently but showing no skin. I saw that I was no longer in my sick clothes, in my little house in Forks. I was wearing a white button-up shirt, jacket, long skirt, and boots. My hair partially up and curled, tendrils spilling from underneath my hat, with a red ribbon. I had a purse in one hand, and a copy of pride and prejudice in another. What the hell?
I turned around to face the paperboy, and the paper he was selling.
Holy shit! The city was Chicago, and the year was 1918.
And I couldn't get myself to wake up…
This was impossible!
Then again, my life has been nothing but impossibilities.
I froze, attempting to process this. I was clueless about what to do, or where to go!
I had to find Edward.
How? I looked for my cell to text him, but my bag had cash, an ID, a few pictures and a crystal heart. This is impossible, I can't be here alone! Could my Edward be here too? Or…
Human Edward? Oh god!
Be careful what you wish for…
A/N: I bet this was a twist nobody saw. I didn't see it until I watched a few documentaries about the early 20th century. I am very torn about some ideas I have about this turn of events. I need your input! I know there are many fics with Bella going back in time, but this won't be the focus of the story, just a shift in perception through experience.
So please read and review! Is this the road you can see Bella and Edward going down to learn more about the other?
Forgive the spelling errors and grammar. Seriously, this tablet is pissing me off.
Next chapter coming up soon now that I have a laptop! Woohoo! Your reviews have really been sustaining me during one of the most difficult times of my life. So thank you readers.