In this story, everything through the end of S5 happened the same as in canon except: the events of the "Unaired Christmas" episode and the tattoo/tongue piercing in S4/S5 did not happen.
As in canon, Blaine and Kurt broke up not long after Rachel moved to LA. Blaine didn't pass his finals and flunked out. He went back to Lima, but he did not run into David Karofsky.
Kurt goes to the corner near the loft and no one shows up as they had promised to. He goes back to Lima and talks to Rachel when she comes out of hiding. After that, he returns to New York to discuss his work-study position, which is where this story starts.
"What on earth gave you the impression that I would approve for you to do your work-study project in Lima, Ohio?"
"The Glee Club is the reason I'm alive and bringing it back to life seemed like something important to do."
"I'm sure it did because those small-minded idiots you called friends keep pulling you down, Mr. Hummel. Miss Berry begged me to admit her. She basically swore on her first-born child's life that NYADA was all she had ever dreamed of. That she wanted to be a Broadway star more than she wanted to breathe. I relied on a second recommendation from your choral director that she had never once forgotten a line in anything before that day at her audition. He regaled her dedication, attention to detail, her star potential, and her amazing talent. I accepted her. She was magnificent. She burned bright and won the Winter Showcase as a freshman. She was every bit as talented as she was hyped up to be. But she had no resilience. I do not know what prompted you to challenge her to Midnight Madness, but when she did not win, when you beat her, she broke. She pulled herself together – I'm imagining with your help. She auditioned for Fanny and got it. At age 18, she had gotten what she said she wanted more than life itself. She dropped out of NYADA. The show finally opened and she walked away a month later. She went to LA, and her show bombed. She went home, a wise move. Your ex washed out last spring after filling his application and CV with voluminous proof of his massive talent. His family backed his aspirations. He was admitted despite my misgivings. I was not the sole voice for admissions last spring. He blustered in and pushed his way into courses he had no business being in, but I let him hang himself after suggesting that he reconsider and remain in the courses he had been assigned to." She paused.
Kurt didn't know if she was expecting to say something. He had no idea what to say.
"And then there was you. Your CV would have been anemic even after a blood transfusion. Your choral director wasn't supportive. He made the point that you would be great in the chorus line, but never as the leading role. But you came to New York City anyway to try to make it. Your second audition for me was ridiculous, but I realized that you watched Miss Berry blow her audition and get in, while I praised yours and you did not. I realized that you had no idea why you didn't get admitted. You were floundering and you offered me the exact opposite of what you had given me the first time, thinking that it would somehow turn the tide, but it was even farther from the mark than you had been the first time. I wanted to see what you were really capable of. I put you on the spot. I tested you to the highest level and you soared. Your version of 'Not the Boy Next Door' was magnificent, but your Winter Showcase performance of 'Being Alive' was moving. You made people feel. Had you already officially been a student that night, you would have won the Showcase, just as you beat Miss Berry a few weeks later at Midnight Madness."
Kurt looked astonished.
"When you befriended Mr. Crawford, I was thrilled. He's a gifted writer and actor and among the people in his ragtag group, you could have found screenplay writers, composers, and lyricists who would have eventually written musicals for you to star in. You were soaring. That came to a dramatic end. You left the Apples. You floundered, not academically or professionally, but personally. You no longer spent time with your classmates, but spent far too much time off-campus. I had wanted you in the Showcase last winter, but you were just too worn out after some idiot tried to bash your head in. But then you proved yourself yet again, and you overcame and soared during the mid-winter critiques. And I was really miffed at myself for not giving you the golden ticket when I had wanted to."
Kurt nodded. He tried to let her words sink in.
"And now, you're sitting here in my office asking me to approve your request to change your work-study venue from the Lexington Retirement Home, for which you have written a magnificent musical, to your high school in Lima, for which you have nothing prepared. And according to my research the principal has made it quite clear that she is not in support of the Glee Club being restarted."
He didn't respond to her statement.
"So, I sit here faced with a dilemma. I can approve your request and let you hang yourself as Mr. Anderson and Miss Berry did after they were given adequate reasons to make a different choice, or I can deny your request and do what's best for you. I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"What on earth would possess you to even ask for this? What happened to the young man who got up and belted out how he couldn't go back to where he had come from?"
"I'm honestly not sure."
"Well, at least you're honest. Since you can give me no valid reason to let you go wallow in self-pity and squander away your talent, I am denying your request. You will remain in New York City and fulfill your duty to the Lexington Retirement Home. I also suggest that you rejoin the Apples. There are still many talented people in that group, who would not only be better friends to you than the people you grew up around, but who will also be professionals with whom you will have created a connection with. Those interpersonal connections provide so much in a city like this. You showed that you had the tenacity to show up with nothing but a suitcase and your dreams two years ago. It's time to dust those dreams off and get back to making them a reality."
"Yes, Madame Tibideaux."
"And you will make up the work you missed in your Advanced Costume Design course, Intermediate Dance, and my vocal workshop."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Those courses you suggested as replacements at OSU Lima and Columbus would not have furthered your knowledge or skills, despite filling the graduation requirements."
She looked over at her computer screen and typed in a few words and clicked her mouse. She looked over what she saw. "You have one of the highest GPAs in your year. With the CUNY classes you took this summer, you have completely caught up and are on track to graduate a year from this coming May. You are a hard-working student. Your professors say nothing but positive things about you."
He nodded.
"I'd suggest that you check the NYADA and NYU shared housing forums this afternoon and find some place to live so that you can get started at the Lexington House by the end of this week."
Kurt nodded. "I'll do that." He waited because he felt like she hadn't finished.
"You are a gifted performer, Mr. Hummel. You need to remember that more often. And you need to get back in the driver's seat and ignore any backseat drivers." She looked up at him over the top of her reading glasses. "You'll never reach your destination if you listen to the naysayers."
"You're right. Although, to be honest, I have no choice but to work so much. Even working two jobs barely kept my head above water."
"A common problem in New York City. I wish you the best in finding suitable housing quickly. I expect to get your first end-of-week report on Friday." She handed him a piece of sheet music. "Learn this for Friday as well."
"Yes, ma'am." He took the music, stood up, and exited her office.
X-X-X-X-X
The first thing he did was go to his favorite coffee shop near campus. He ordered, waited, and sat down before pulling his phone out. He went to all of his Craig's List posts and took them down. If he had to stay in the city, he couldn't sell off his furniture that was still in the loft. He had tried out Rachel's bed after she and Blaine moved out and decided to keep it and sold his. He had kept her wardrobe as well. Over the summer, he had sold off some of the other stuff that he wouldn't have room for in a smaller place. He had planned to sell what he could and donate the rest over the next few days before leaving town, but his plans had just abruptly changed.
He thought about what Madame Tibideaux had said about looking for a place on the shared housing lists. He decided to forgo looking for a roommate from NYADA or NYU in favor of looking on the CUNY lists. He didn't want any more roommates that didn't have to work. He knew it sounded bad, even in his own mind, but he just couldn't deal with living with someone who didn't understand the value of a dollar having never worked hard to earn the money they spent freely or who invited people over all the time who didn't understand that he couldn't just replace the food they helped themselves to. He needed a peaceful place to live somewhere that he didn't have to commute so far to anymore. All of those hours on the subway could be used to study some place conducive to studying.
He wasn't in the best frame of mind, but he started searching through one of the boards. Most of them were for 1-bedroom places. He figured the few that were available were people who had friends they were going to share a bedroom with who had backed out somehow, but there was no way he was willing to share a 1-bedroom apartment with someone he didn't know. About halfway down the page, he saw a listing for a 2-bedroom place. He clicked on it. It sounded like it had been copied and pasted from the leasing ad for the apartment.
This is a beautifully renovated 2-bedroom, 1-bath in the heart of Hell's Kitchen, located near 9th Ave and 49th St. It features a new modern subway-tiled bathroom with a large glassed-in shower and a new kitchen with stainless steel appliances and white Shaker cabinets. In-unit washer and dryer. The apartment has high-end finishes, high ceilings, newly refinished hardwood floors, and winged bedrooms for ample privacy. The unit is located in the heart of the Theater District. Keyless entry and phone-integrated intercom.
Rent $900, which includes water, trash removal, and internet. Heat and A/C will be split evenly, average cost of $100 per month. No pets. No phone calls. Text xxx-xxx-xxxx to arrange a time to view the apartment. Serious inquiries only. September rent will be considered as the deposit. Apartment is unfurnished.
He looked up the general location. It was within walking distance of the Lexington House and the Conde Nast building, not that he had much hope of getting a job at Vogue again. It seemed too good to be true, so he looked through the rest of the listings, but didn't find anything else that even came close.
He sent a text to the number on the listing. He drank his coffee and closed his eyes and started thinking about everything he had to do to move. He'd have to get a truck and either find someone willing to help him or hire some people. He didn't manage to get any further into his mental to-do list because his phone vibrated. He opened his eyes and saw that it was a response to his text.
-I can be at the apartment in 20 minutes to show it to you if you're available now. But before you agree, you should know that I'm a gay man, age 21. I'm a first year grad student Data Science major at the CUNY Graduate Center.
Kurt was impressed. The man was 21 and already in graduate school. He decided that he was a serious student and not much of a partier if he had managed to finish an undergraduate degree already. He responded quickly.
-I'm pretty sure I could be there in 30 minutes. I'm near 31st and Madison right now.
He got a text back immediately giving him the address. He finished his coffee while he pulled the address up on his phone.
X-X-X-X-X
Kurt buzzed the intercom and waited.
"Yeah?"
"I'm here about the apartment."
"Right. Come on up."
The door buzzed and Kurt stepped inside. He walked up two flights of stairs, looking down at his feet, hundreds of thoughts flitting around in his mind with him being able to focus in on any of them at the moment.
When he got to the landing, he knocked on apartment #6. He turned his back to the door and looked around rather than zoning out like he had on the way up the stairs. It was a really nice building. Old, but it had been renovated nicely.
"Kurt?"
He turned in a flash. "David?"
They both stood and stared past each other, not knowing what to say.
"Well, don't just stand there. At least come inside." Dave stepped back and let Kurt in.
The apartment was every bit as beautiful as it had sounded in the ad. The living room was empty except for a TV and a PS4 sitting on the floor.
Dave noticed Kurt looking at the empty room. "I mentioned it was unfurnished in the ad. It used to be furnished. My former roommate lived here for two years before I moved to the City. The furniture in the living room was his. He graduated in May and stayed through the summer working the job he had, but last week he got offered a job upstate and he moved out. He obviously took his furniture with him. His new place didn't have a bar, so he left the barstools. We can sit there if you want."
Kurt took a seat at the counter. "So, how are you in graduate school?"
"I took a few AP classes at Thurston my senior year. I came here right after graduation and started at Baruch College that summer. I took three classes each summer session and an extra class each semester. I didn't move here for any reason other than so I could just be myself and to study. I got a scholarship for graduate school. I'm a Statistics TA."
"I knew you were good at math that day you told me to wait for you until you came back from Calculus. We were juniors. Most of us were in Algebra 2. You were two years ahead in math."
"Yeah. I pulled my grades back up after that meeting with our dads and Coach Sue. I knew it would take some of the pressure off between me and my dad and he wouldn't ask so many questions if I just did better in school."
"Now, that you know it's me, are you still willing to consider me as a roommate?"
"I think it's more the other way around. I'm the one that did terrible things to you. I was awful to you."
"You haven't been for a long time. Since that day I mentioned, actually. You were sincere that day when you apologized. I forgave you then. I'm not holding a grudge. And I owe you and apology as well."
"For what?" Dave looked completely confused.
"That day that I offered you my friendship, I didn't keep my word. There were reasons, but they're not important now. They shouldn't have been then, but it's taken about four months of counseling to work through all of that. And before you either feel bad for asking or resolve to remain curious, I broke up with Blaine early last May. He's back in Ohio."
"Should I be offering my condolences?"
"Only for being too dumb to see the writing on the wall three and a half years ago."
"Ouch."
"Yeah. You know how they say 'Hindsight is 20/20.' I was wearing rose-colored glasses tinted so heavily that I obviously couldn't see anything clearly. With those smashed to bits, I see a lot of things now that I didn't then."
"You're awfully hard on yourself when you're so forgiving of others. Try using some of that forgiveness on yourself for a change."
"My therapist said the same thing. I'm working on it."
"I'll show you around and you can think about it. I have class in an hour. I was running an errand when you texted me." He got up. "So, you can obviously see the kitchen. It was the big selling point for me when I chose this place."
"You like to cook?"
"Oh, yeah. Definitely." He turned the other way. "Living room obviously." He pointed to the leftmost doorway on the right side of the living rom. "My room. The door to the right of mine is the bathroom. And that's the coat closet to the right of the bathroom." He rotated and pointed to a door in the kitchen. "That's a pantry and where the washer and dryer are." He pointed to the door on the left side of the living room, directly opposite his bedroom door. "That's the other bedroom."
Kurt went into the empty bedroom to look around. "It's pretty small, but that's what I expected. The high ceilings help to keep it from feeling tiny."
He followed Kurt into the room. "That door leads to a walk-in closet."
Kurt opened it. "Wow. That's a huge closet for an apartment. Where I live now has no closets."
"Well, then this would be an upgrade."
"In a lot of ways. At various times, Rachel, Santana, Blaine, Sam, and I all lived in a loft in Bushwick. I love the open space. It would be perfect if I went to school and worked in Bushwick. It was a great place for my band to rehearse. Don't worry. The band broke up. I won't be trying to hold band practice here."
"I'm not sure you could. Not with any furniture in the living room."
Kurt asked, "Are you really okay with this?"
"Are you?"
"I'm the one with the need to find a place quick. This is a really nice place. I'm neat and clean. I have two weeks left on the place in Bushwick. Honestly, I didn't see anything else in my price range in this area. Most people listed their places a month ago and have already found new roommates. This is your place. You need to decide whether or not you're okay with me moving in."
"Look, I'm in a bind as much as you are. I have two weeks to find someone or pay all of October's rent myself. How about we give it a month. If after a month, it's not working out, you can look for another place and I can look for another roommate."
"I have living room furniture. I actually have more furniture than will fit in here. Do you need anything for your room? Like lamps or a side table?"
"Actually, I could use a lamp or two. I have side tables. My dad let me bring the furniture from my bedroom. He and my mom divorced and they sold the house. He bought a 2-bedroom place in Columbus. She moved back to Toledo where she grew up. I haven't been back to Ohio since I moved here."
"So, you don't know about Finn?"
"No. What about him? Is he married with three kids?" Dave teased.
"He died in March of my freshman year, a year and a half ago."
"Oh, God. I had no idea. I'm really sorry to hear that."
"It's been rough. My dad had cancer that year too."
"With what you've been through, I can see why you don't seem fazed by the idea of living with me."
"I think if I took one of those questionnaires that gives you a score for the stress you've been through in the last two years, my score would be at the top of the category marked 'Definitely Needs a Break'. I really don't want to get into it right now, though. When do you get out of class?"
"2:00."
"Can you come to Bushwick when you get out? I'll head there now and start to pack, but I want you to come look at what I have so I can get my ads back up on Craig's List for people to pick things up this weekend. Are you willing to help me move the furniture here if I rent a truck?"
"Yeah, sure."
He gave Dave the address to the loft. He began to walk off the measurements in the bedroom. He put them in his notes app on his phone. He moved to the living room and did the same thing. "I have some painters tape. We can tape off the floor in the loft and put furniture in the space to see what we can actually fit in here. The loft is huge. It's impossible to judge without actually measuring."
"Sure. Whatever works. I'll give you my spare key for now. We can wait the month to put your name on the lease if you want."
"I think we'll be fine. I'll figure out when you're gone and I'll do my vocal practice then. Or I'll just do it at school. I don't have any friends left here and the people from Lima that were here are all gone, except Artie, and we've never been close. You said you've had your nose to the academic grindstone for two years. I don't envision you throwing rowdy parties. I won't be here much. I'll sleep, shower, eat occasionally, and maybe study sometimes. Otherwise, I'll be at school or at my work-study or working."
Dave nodded. "Alright, then. I'll meet you out in Bushwick as soon as I can after I get out of class." He opened a kitchen drawer and handed Kurt a keyring with two keys on it. He texted Kurt the code for the apartment so he could get in the building.
"Thanks for giving me a chance," Kurt said. "This location will save me two hours a day of commuting."
Dave just nodded and opened the door to let Kurt out.
X-X-X-X-X
Rather than rushing to Bushwick, Kurt took a walk around the neighborhood. He used his phone to look up the one thing he had avoided so far, which was looking for an auto shop to work in. But the hours would be steady and the pay would be better than minimum wage waiting tables. He found a place less than a half-mile away. He went walking in that direction, still looking around as he went.
He pulled the door open and stepped inside.
"Can I help you with something?" the man behind the counter asked.
"Yeah. Actually, I was wondering if you're hiring."
"To do what?"
"Tires. Oil changes. Tune ups. Transmissions."
"You can fix transmissions?"
"Yeah."
"You don't even look 18. Do you have any certifications?"
"I'm actually 21. I just look young. And yes. I do." He took his phone out and looked for the folder where he had put the photos he had taken of his certifications when he got them after he turned 18. He stepped closer to the counter and showed the man. He flipped through each one.
"That's impressive. I'm Xavier DeSantos, by the way. But everyone calls me Avi. My dad's name is Xavier as well."
"I'm Kurt Hummel. My dad owns a shop in Ohio. I started working on cars when I was 8."
"Sounds like me. Hummel? Is your dad's name Burt?"
"It is."
"I've never met him, but word went around that a mechanic ran for Congress and won a few years back."
"That's him."
"Cool. Back to openings. I don't really need anyone to do any of the easy stuff. I can pay people $10 an hour to change tires. But if you can do transmissions, that I could use. Can you do any autobody repair?"
Kurt nodded. "Yeah. I can weld, if that's what you're looking for specifically."
"You're hired. When can you work?"
"I'm not quite sure yet. I have a work-study that I'm starting this semester. I'm moving into this neighborhood this week. What are you looking for?"
"Actually, pretty much whenever you can come in. Obviously, you'd need to be able to stay for four hours or more at a time or you won't get anywhere on a repair."
"I really need evenings open this year for school-related stuff. What about mornings? And what does the position pay?"
Avi pulled up a piece of paper from the adding machine and wrote an offer and showed it to Kurt.
Kurt used his best acting skills to not look shocked. "What time do you open?"
"8:00 to start working on cars that are already here. To the public at 10:00 for oil changes and tires and stuff."
"So, what about 8 to noon Monday through Friday? I don't think the people involved in my work-study will want to do it early in the morning, but I could be wrong."
"Any four hours in a row Monday through Friday would work for me. We're only open until 6. So 8 to noon, 9 to 1, 10 to 2… Whatever works. I just can't swing someone full time, but I can't keep up on my own anymore. People are getting frustrated with having to wait to get their cars back. I hadn't put a sign up yet because I figured I'd have to put the job up online somewhere to find someone with enough training to do the job that was willing to work part time."
"How about I come in early tomorrow morning with my actual certifications and my social security card and stuff. I know you'll need to run a background check. By the time you get that back, I should know what hours I can work because I have to go talk to the work-study contact tomorrow at lunch."
"That will work. I'll see you then."
"Oh, one other question. Will I need to provide a uniform or will you?"
"You look like you'll fit in what I've got already, so I don't even have to order you one. Just a name patch. There's a single stall shower in the back where you can change and shower if you need to, like if an oil pan dumps on you or something. You provide your own footwear."
"Great. I'll be here tomorrow morning."
X-X-X-X-X
Saturday morning, Dave met Kurt at the loft again. They waited around while the people who had agreed to buy the pieces that Kurt wasn't taking with him came to pick things up.
Kurt was sitting in the driver's seat that had been turned into a chair with his feet propped up on the coffee table. "What's your favorite place in the City?" he asked, attempting to get a decent conversation going, rather than sitting in silence.
"Um, I don't really know. There's a nice coffee place in the neighborhood that I've been to a few times. There's a nice Thai place that delivers."
"You haven't been to any of the tourist places?"
"Nope. The other day, I told you I hadn't done anything buy work and study. I was single-mindedly focused on becoming comfortable with myself and studying to do something I would enjoy after I realized that my idea of being a sports agent wouldn't work out. A couple of NBA players came out in the last year or so, and they was the first openly gay professional sports players in the US and Canada – both after I was doing this research. I realized that I'd have to live my life in the closet because if there aren't any players willing to come out, how likely is it that any of them would want an openly gay man to represent them?"
"I hadn't ever thought about it, but you have a point. Probably none."
"So, I came here and started to study statistics. I realized how much I like the practical applications and how many businesses rely on statistical analysis, so my B.B.A. degree is in Statistics and Quantitative Modeling. And like I said in my first text, I'm studying Data Science in graduate school. I'm good at it and it's interesting to me. The tuition at Baruch was lower than OSU and my dad was willing to pay it and give me the additional money he had put back for me to go to OSU to put towards the rent here the first two years after I showed him my plan to graduate early. I worked, but not as much as you have been from what you said. Since he was helping me, I just had to cover the utilities and my own personal expenses. Now with the TA position, I can pay my rent myself and my dad isn't paying my tuition anymore. I'm free. I'm my own man."
"My dad is paying part of my tuition at NYADA, much like your dad did, covering the portion that would equal what going to OSU would have cost. I did get a small scholarship last year, but I have some seriously massive school loan debt already. I didn't do my research like I should have. NYADA's program is different from the other musical theatre departments at the other universities in this area. Their classes don't really fit into the other school's programs. And I made a lot of mistakes. But starting over didn't appeal to me. I like my classes. Last year was very trying though."
A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Dave and Kurt moved the pieces that were being purchased down to the awaiting pickup truck. Kurt thanked the woman and he and Dave went back upstairs to wait for the next person.
"You said last year was trying," Dave reminded him as they sat back down.
"I'd rather not talk about it, but maybe sometime. It's just been a rough couple of days dealing with the things that were left behind and finding myself in the position I have been for two years, which was the responsible one, the one who took care of everyone else. Over the last two years, five people have lived here and I'm the one left to deal with it. Seven of us made a pact to meet at the corner a week ago when everyone but Blaine went back to Lima. I was the only one who showed up. Not even Artie showed up, and he's back from summer break in Lima and doesn't live that far from here. I told someone last spring that I felt like the mom in an Nora Ephron movie."
Dave shook his head slightly, not recognizing the name.
"Who she is, isn't the relevant issue. It's the fact that I was always the 'mom friend'. The one who had to keep a level head, the one who broke up all of the disputes, the one whose expectations were the last to be met, if they ever were. I'll leave it at this for now. I called it off with Blaine because he was late to dinner the same number of times we had gone out to dinner, unless we left together."
"You broke up with him because he was late to the restaurant?"
"No, I broke up with him because instead of arriving on time to the restaurant, he stopped along the way to do things that he found to be more important than arriving on time. He wasn't late because the subway broke down or the bus he was on got a flat tire or his class ran late. He was late because he stopped to do other things, knowing that I would be there just waiting for him like always. I broke up with him because the day before we had a three hour argument over how I had used a hand towel to wipe my face after I had brushed my teeth and got toothpaste on it."
"A 3-hour argument over a towel? Was it the only one you had?"
"No. We had several."
"Did you do it on purpose to spite him for something?"
"Nope, completely by accident."
"I don't get it."
"It doesn't matter. Right over there, Rachel had a cow about Santana being her understudy and slapped Santana."
"And she's still alive?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes. Sam slept on this sofa for, like four months, but that was the year after Santana had slept on it for three or more. There was the time she dumped out everything we owned to snoop right after she moved in. It's hard to move on sometimes. It was a train wreck, but it was the train wreck I was used to. And I was always the one picking up the pieces. And this is the end of that era. It's like looking back and feeling nostalgic for what you thought something would be, but that never was, and now never will be."
"I get that. I'm like that with my mom. After she found out I was gay, it was a train wreck, to use your terminology. Everything that should have been, never was. And now, I don't exist to her anymore. For 18 years, I was her son and now I'm not. And nothing will make that okay. The issues are completely different, but the sentiment is the same. I look forward in time and all of the things I had envisioned about holidays and family aren't going to happen. It's like the opposite of déjà vu. Where instead of being certain that you've experienced an event before, you've experienced an event in your mind, but it will never be real."
The pounding on the door made both of them jump. They got up to answer the door and carried the items out to an awaiting truck.
"What are you going to do with the stuff that no one contacted you about that won't fit in our apartment?"
"I had considered just leaving it behind. I mean, I paid for the appliances and to put that wall up in the kitchen. I can't take the sink back out, so that's just a loss on my part. Same thing with the curtain room dividers – I'm just leaving them. Again, another monetary loss on my part."
"If they had shown up last week–"
"Don't even bother finishing that sentence. If they had come last week, nothing would have changed about all of this. They would have wanted to enjoy their time in the City, not deal with sitting around waiting for people to come by and pick stuff up. Since you're so good at math, maybe you can help me tally up what I sold that belonged to Rachel and what we're keeping that belonged to her and a value. And balance that with the cost of the wall, the plumbing, the curtains, and whatever else that I paid for to start with. We can figure out if I owe her any of the money from selling stuff."
"I can do that while you unpack. No problem."
The last person showed up with someone to help him and they took the desk that Kurt had bought for Blaine to make his office space. Dave and Kurt left to get the U-Haul. After they had loaded everything, Kurt went back up for one final look around the space. He realized that he had left the stained glass piece in the window. He grabbed it and turned in a circle one last time. He carried the windowpane down to the U-Haul and put it in the front with him since he didn't have anything to wrap it with.
Once they got all of the furniture upstairs, Dave offered to drop the truck off while Kurt started to unpack. Kurt gave him the money to pay for the rental. He ordered from the Thai place that Dave had mentioned and it arrived about 10 minutes after Dave had come back.
They sat down together at the table.
"I'm exhausted, but I think I have just enough energy to get the entertainment stuff set up," Kurt said. "Then we can flop on the sofa and watch a movie."
"Sure."
Thirty minutes later, Kurt put a DVD in and sat down.
"What are we watching?"
"It's September in New York City."
"Is that the name of the movie?"
"No. Just press play. If you hate it, I'll apologize later."
Dave chuckled and pressed play. "You've Got Mail? When is this from?"
"1998. It has Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in it."
"I'll give it a chance. I'm too tired to argue or to get up and change it."
"That's the spirit." Kurt deadpanned. "If you hate it, I'll make you breakfast tomorrow."
"I might have to hate it just to get the breakfast."
Kurt rolled his eyes.
X-X-X-X-X
Three months later, it was mid-December and the semester was over. Kurt had won the Winter Showcase the week before. He had finished his final report and had given his work-study project presentation that afternoon. They were both done with school for three weeks.
Kurt had baked cookies when he came back from the presentation. After dinner, he had taken a plate of them to the living room and put them on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa.
Neither of them was religious and decided to forego a traditional Christmas tree, but had decided to get two really narrow trees with pre-lit with white lights and leave them up all winter to make the room brighter and more cheerful during the long dark, dreary days of winter. They put them up the weekend after Thanksgiving. After a few days, they both decided that they looked too barren and had found a place online to order realistic looking birds, so they ordered eight that were native to New York and put them in the trees.
Dave was in the kitchen working on their drinks. He admired their trees while he stirred. He finished up and carried both mugs to the sofa. "You're very pensive," he said. "Do you wish you were on your way back to Lima like your dad wanted?" He handed Kurt the mug of homemade hot chocolate before he sat down on the sofa with him.
"Not really, but I will miss spending Christmas with him. I'm going to DC for three days before school starts again, so I'll see him then. I wasn't actually thinking about that at all. You know how when flashes of thoughts and memories and ideas all whiz around in your mind. You just catch glimpses of this and that before your mind zooms off in another direction. For example, I am so glad that my work-study is over, but at the same time I am going to miss some of the people I've been working with for three months. And the idea of going back to sit in a classroom for those 12 hours of credit each week seems profoundly unappealing right now, yet at the same time I really need more practice with cold auditions, which are by far my least favorite thing."
"There's nothing preventing you from going to visit them on game day twice a month or something. You'll just have to work it into your schedule somehow."
"And that's the other big change. Getting the job at the shop and living here has given me more free time than I've had since I moved here. In the last three months, I've actually been to see a lot of the sights that I never had time to see the previous two years. At first, I put seeing any sights off, wanting someone to go with me. Then I just got too busy. And then it was just a hassle."
"Having fun was a hassle?"
"Yes, but it's not anymore. You said how you hadn't been to see the sights either and we've been doing it together and having hassle-free fun."
"That should go on a tourism brochure somewhere. I'm sure it would be a big drawing card."
Kurt laughed. He took a sip of his hot chocolate. "This is really good, as always. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He leaned forward and grabbed one of the cookies from the plate on the coffee table. "These are delicious. I love chocolate crinkle cookies."
Kurt chuckled.
"Fine, I love most cookies, but I especially like these."
"That's what you've said about every type of cookie I've made so far."
"My list of favorite cookies is very long."
"Are you planning to stay in New York once you graduate?"
"Definitely. I'll get a job doing whatever I can to pay the rent until I find a full-time job based here. I have no intention of moving. I like it here. I'm just anonymous me. I'm not the 'formerly homophobic gay bully jock who tried to kill himself' here. I'm just Dave who goes to school and works as a TA now."
"Until recently, things really hadn't been any easier for me here than they were in Lima. That's one of the other things flitting through my mind when I was staring off into space. It's been exactly one year since I woke up in the hospital from being gay bashed in an alley."
"Here in New York?"
"Yeah." Kurt told him what had happened.
Dave's face turned ashen as he listened to Kurt. When he finished, Dave said, "I had no idea."
"I finally worked through a lot of stuff over last summer, but the date made it pop back into my head. It's weird because last year it happened right before our mid-winter critiques. This year our semester ended later and we start back later in January."
Dave got up and went to the kitchen. He slowly rinsed his mug out and put it in the dishwasher. He let the water get hot and soaked the rag and wiped the counters down, even though he had done it earlier. He used the glass stovetop cleaner to polish the stovetop. After he finished, he started to add things to the shopping list.
Kurt heard him sniffle. He didn't get up immediately, but when he heard him sniffle again, he got up and went into the kitchen. He rinsed his mug out as well and put it in the dishwasher before he said anything. He put his hand on Dave's shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"Everything. All of this."
Kurt's face fell and he looked heartbroken. "What do you mean? Did I do something?"
"I mean none of this is right. You shouldn't be here. I just–"
"David Alexander Karofsky. What on earth just happened? We were talking and now you want me to leave?" Kurt was clearly annoyed.
Dave didn't know what to say. "No. I don't know."
"Well, I'm happy here. I thought you were happy with me here, but if you're not, then let me know, so I can look for another place." The hurt was evident in Kurt's voice.
"That's not it. I am so happy with you here. I just–" He grabbed a napkin and wiped his eyes. "Please–"
Kurt took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. He knew that nothing good would come from the conversation if he got bent out of shape without giving Dave time to explain himself. "Finish the shopping list, and then come sit back down and help me understand why you're so upset." Kurt went back into the living room and brought the plate of cookies and packed them up and put the plate in the dishwasher before went back to the sofa to wait.
Dave had quit crying by the time he sat down. "Hearing you talk about what you went through just brought back all of the self-hatred like that ALS challenge – only supersized, like a barrel of ice water over my head. No amount of being a good person now can make up for what I did."
"I don't need your self-flagellation or years of remorse. You've already done the one thing I had always hoped for."
"What's that?"
"That you'd figure out your problem, deal with it, and stop being a bully. For a long time I had no idea that your 'problem' was that you were gay and that you had no way to deal with it. I thought you were homophobic and that could be dealt with. We've never hashed this out. We've been living together successfully for three months. Let's just get this all out and dealt with. We'll probably both cry."
"I'm sure we will." He got up and grabbed the tissue box from the bathroom and put it between them on the sofa. "Okay. You said you thought I was homophobic, but then you realized that I was gay. I was both gay and homophobic, which totally sucked because I hated myself so much. I didn't want to be gay. Not at all. I really tried to get over being gay. And every day you were there, being so gorgeous and amazing and–"
"And what?"
"And the only person I've ever been attracted to. Other guys are good-looking or whatever and girls aren't attractive at all–"
Kurt nodded in agreement. "I agree."
"Back to what I was saying. When you told me about what happened in the alley, I just felt like a bucket of cold water was poured over my head to remind me that I was one of those guys. I was really hurtful, intentionally."
"You aren't the only one with a past he wishes he could change. There are so many things that I could have done differently as well. I acted like a condescending ass. I was a snob at times. I tried to build myself up by seeing other's faults. I lashed out at you with words because I felt threatened. I have beaten myself up mentally for approaching you on the outdoor stairwell. It wasn't until a few months later when Blaine outed a guy that worked at The GAP in Westerville that I realized what could have happened. I didn't put two and two together at the time because you had scared me. It was after that event at The GAP that I realized that I had been holding a royal flush, and instead of playing my hand, I folded and ran."
"That's true. If you had blackmailed me, I would have caved. I knew my mom would send me to conversion therapy."
"Those things I said to you in the locker room were decidedly untrue. You're not going to go bald by the time you're 30. And you're not fat. I don't remember what else I said. I was so angry at the time."
Dave began to cry. "God, that hurt so much. I knew I was an ass to you, but you were just beautiful and I was crushing on you so hard and the things you said were just like a knife to the heart. But we sort of worked things out a bit, that day in the hall, but then there was Junior Prom and I left McKinley. I'm glad I went to Thurston because they had better classes and no one knew me as a bully. But they were clearly just as homophobic as the jocks at McKinley. Anyway, we saw each other at Scandals that night and it felt like we were good, like you weren't afraid of me anymore and we were just two guys. Not friends, but not enemies."
"Right."
"And then I saw Blaine hanging out at Scandals with Sebastian. Well, that's what it looked like. I eventually learned later that Blaine always invited himself. But at the time, I thought that you had broken up with him and they were dating. It made sense. He was out on the dance floor with him the night the three of you were there and then you never came back with them. I honestly didn't know the two of you were still dating when I started sending the Valentine's stuff. I didn't see him with you at lunch when I brought the stuff that day, so that sort of cemented my idea of asking you out. I realize now that it was too soon. Even if you hadn't been with him at the time, I wasn't ready to be out, as evidenced by what happened when everyone found out."
"And there's where another thing I regret comes into our story. I handled that evening badly. I was completely surprised, but I should have never told you that you were wrong about how you felt. I apologize for that. People's feelings are their own and no one has the right to tell them how they feel."
Dave nodded. "I did love you. I know that I did. It wasn't a mature kind of love because we didn't know each other. But you were such an amazing person and you–" He stopped short and sighed heavily.
"You're right. We didn't know each other well back then, but we do now. We've avoided this specific topic since I moved in, but I want to clear the air. I know that you're a kind and gentle person. I saw how you treated the residents at the Lexington House when you came to see the show. How you walked around and talked to them while they waited for the show to begin. I saw you pay for that mom's groceries that day a couple of months ago when she got to the cashier and her card was declined when she was trying buy a small bag of diapers and a few containers of baby food. I've seen you be who you are for three months, every day. And a few minutes ago when you said I shouldn't be here, you scared me. I like living here. I love living here with you. You've become my best friend."
Dave took another tissue and wiped his eyes. "Me too. I mean you've become my best friend too. And I love having you here. And I didn't mean that I don't want you here. I just had a flashback and I felt like you deserved someone better."
"Do you know why I freaked out when you said it?"
Dave shook his head. "No."
"Because I've fallen in love with you. I thought you were realizing that I'm not who you thought I was and that you wanted me to move out."
Dave looked up and over at Kurt. "Wait, what?"
"I'm in love with you and I'd like for you to be my boyfriend."
Dave looked simultaneously absolutely thrilled and completely terrified.
"What's that look for?"
"I feel like I'm dreaming. I'm just waiting for my alarm to go off or something to wake me up and ruin the whole thing."
Kurt scooted closer and knelt on the sofa next to Dave. "Can I kiss you, David?"
Dave nodded ever so slightly.
Kurt put his left hand on Dave's shoulder to steady himself. He ran his right thumb across Dave's lips. "Are you sure?"
He nodded more resolutely this time.
Kurt leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Dave's, which caused Dave to moan lightly. Kurt pulled back. Dave chased after his lips and kissed him again. Kurt smiled and leaned forward again making it easier for both of them. They kissed for a few seconds more. Gentle, soft kisses.
Kurt pulled back slightly. "So, is that a yes that you'll be my boyfriend?"
A huge smile spread across Dave's face and his eyes lit up. "Yes, a million times yes."
Kurt turned and sat back down and scooted into Dave's side. "All of those things we said and did four or more years ago, they're over and gone. We both have regrets, but this is now and not then, okay? Now, that we've finally confessed our regrets and apologized to each other, can we just bury the past and leave it there? No more digging it up? No more feeling guilty. No need for penance. If you want to show me you love me, then do it because you love me, not because you're trying to make up for being an immature teenager. We're both 21 now. I'm sure we'll make new mistakes, but let's leave the old ones behind. Can you do that?"
Dave took a deep breath. "Yeah. I can do that." He reached down and turned Kurt's head gently and tipped his chin up. "I love you. I never stopped."
Kurt rearranged again and slipped into Dave's lap. He wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and leaned in and pressed his nose into Dave's neck right below his ear, which caused Dave to laugh silently because it tickled.
"I thought we were going to watch a Christmas movie to start the holiday season off," Dave teased as he ran his hand along Kurt's arm tenderly.
"We are, but I have quite a few more kisses for you first." He began kissing along Dave's neck.
Dave squirmed a bit.
"Should I stop?"
"Definitely not, but I do have one thing I'd like to do. Hop up for a minute."
Kurt moved and sat back on the sofa, so Dave could get up. He turned all of the lights off, leaving the lights from trees only light in the room. He picked up the coffee table and moved it into the dining area. He connected his phone to the Bluetooth speaker and found the song he was looking for. He held out his hand to Kurt. "Will you dance with me?"
Kurt smiled and took his hand.
Dave started the music. He closed the space between them and held Kurt and began to dance slowly. Dave sang along to an instrumental version of the song.
Love me tender. Love me sweet.
Never let me go.
You have made my life complete.
And I love you so.
Love me tender. Love me long.
Take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong.
And we'll never part.
Love me tender. Love me true.
All my dreams fulfill.
For my darling, I love you,
And I always will.
Love me tender. Love me dear.
Tell me you are mine.
I'll be yours through all the years,
'Til the end of time.
Love me tender. Love me true
All my dreams fulfill.
For my darling, I love you.
And I always will.
When he finished the song, he kissed Kurt again. "I'm so happy. I just want this to never end. I don't want to wake up and realize that all of this was a dream again."
"Again?"
"Well, except the kissing part. I guess my mind could never fill in what it would feel like to kiss you, but I've dreamed so many times that I did things differently and that you were mine. And I'd wake up in bed alone."
Kurt reached up and used his thumbs to brush away Dave's tears. "Well, no more of those kinds of dreams for you. Now you need to dream new dreams, happy ones where you and I are doing fun, amazing things together. And I definitely want you to sing for me more. You're voice just makes me feel what you sing."
Dave nodded. "Let's watch the movie you picked out."
Kurt pecked him on the lips and put the movie in while Dave put the coffee table back. Dave reached behind the sofa and grabbed the cushion Kurt had made for the coffee table and put it on. He took the blanket from the back of the sofa and sat down, but instead of sitting down to leave a space between them, he sat closer to the center. Kurt sat right next to him and Dave wrapped his arm around Kurt, who snuggled in close. Dave covered both of them with the blanket.
"Are you going to be a snuggler?" Kurt pressed play.
"With you, always." He ran his thumb across the edge of Kurt's shoulder. He looked up at the TV. "Die Hard? How is that even remotely a Christmas movie?"
"It starts on Christmas Eve at a Christmas party."
Dave chuckled. "If you say so."
Kurt squished in closer and started playing footsie. "You love me."
"Mmm hmm. I do."
"I love you too."
X-X-X-X-X
Exactly one year later, Dave and Kurt woke up in the lodge room that Kurt had booked as a surprise anniversary trip to Niagara Falls for the weekend. Dave scooted closer to Kurt. "I'm sure it's beautiful out there, but it's freezing. We could come back in the spring and stay in bed and snuggle for today. I'll give you a back rub. And a–"
"As much as I absolutely want you to do both of those things, we have some place to be?"
"Where?"
"You'll see. It's a surprise, remember?"
"Smartass."
"You like my ass," Kurt teased back.
"That's true. Let's get going then."
After they were both dressed, Kurt said Dave's name to get him to turn around. "David?"
"Yeah?" he responded as he turned.
Kurt was on one knee when he turned. He took Dave's hand and asked, "Will you marry me?"
"Of course." He pulled Kurt up and kissed him. "Anytime, anywhere. Yes, yes, yes!" He wrapped his arms around Kurt and spun him in a circle and kissed him again.
"How about today?"
"You want to get married today?"
"Yes. I have it all arranged, if you want to. No pressure though. We can get married whenever you want."
"Like, for real, today?"
"Yes." He looked at the clock next to the bed. "In 30 minutes."
"Then we have time for a few kisses."
"Mmm hmm," Kurt hummed as their lips connected.
Thirty minutes later, they stood in a beautiful winter-themed room with a fireplace and the most real looking artificial trees, covered in white lights. They stood facing each other and held hands.
"Do you David Alexander Karofsky take Kurt Eli Hummel to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, forsaking all others, supporting each other through life's trials and joys, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
"Do you Kurt Eli Hummel take David Alexander Karofsky to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, forsaking all others, supporting each other through life's trials and joys, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
Kurt held his hand out and let Dave slip the custom ring on his finger.
"This ring represents my public declaration of my unending love for you, Kurt. Please accept it and wear it as a symbol of my love." He slipped the ring on Kurt.
Kurt took the ring he had in his pocket out and slipped it onto Dave's finger. "David, this ring is a symbol of my never-ending love for you. I give it to you proudly as the man I want to spend the rest of my life with." Kurt slipped the nearly identical ring onto Dave's finger.
Kurt took Dave's hands and held them again.
"By the power vested in my by the state of New York, I now pronounce you as husband and husband."
They stepped towards each other and kissed.
"I love you," Kurt said, as he wrapped his arms around Dave.
Dave squeezed him gently, "I love you too." He smiled when he heard the music he had sung to start to play quietly.
The officiant moved to the area right outside the door to sign the marriage license.
Kurt and Dave danced their first dance as a married couple. When the song finished, they stepped out and signed the paperwork. They discussed a few details and thanked the officiant before heading back toward their room.
Dave looked down at his ring. "I can't believe you were so sneaky as to record me saying, 'I love you so much.' and had my voice pattern put on your ring."
"I wanted our rings to be unique, like us."
"Well, they are definitely cool." He turned his and looked at it knowing that it was the voice pattern of Kurt saying, 'I love you, David.' made him grin from ear to ear.
"So, Mr. Hummel-Karofsky, what would you like to do now?" Kurt asked with a wink.
Dave's smile could not have been any bigger. "Well, Mr. Hummel-Karofsky, I would like to have breakfast, and then we can go back up to our room and do what I had wanted to do when I first woke up. And then, I think I'd like to try out that hot tub on the deck of our room. And after lunch, Niagara Falls."
"An adventure then?"
"With you, always."