Not Playing
Author's notes: Yes, in this fic Red is a violent jerk-face and Purple is actually pretty clever. His stupidity is just an act in order to cover up the various bruises he gets from his companion. Why Purple puts up with Red's crap is explained better later.
Enjoy reading. I'm going to bed. Oh.. now every time you read my notes it'll look like I'm going to bed.
"Err... what is this...?" Lard Nar asked looking at the ugly pink uniform Purple had given him.
"That's standard Irken attire," Purple answered. After only three days of recovering, he had gotten a lot better. He still had one of his arms in a sling and there were bandages covering half of his face, but he could hover around and talk normally.
Lard Nar tossed it on the ground. "Never, never will you get me to wear anything as putridity ugly as that so help me..."
The Tallest blinked down at the uniform crumpled on the ground. "I don't see anything wrong with it."
"I don't care," Lard Nar growled. "It's still not going to happen."
"Well it's not like we carry much else," Purple informed him. "It's either that or technician clothes."
Lard Nar paused to think about it. Technician uniforms weren't as bad looking as regular Irken wear, but they were still pretty bad. Besides, he was against the Irken Empire. What kind of former captain of the Resisty would he be if he wore his enemy's clothes? Especially since he was still planning on escaping and forming another resistance...
"For the last time Irken, I refuse to wear anything you and your people wear."
"Do I really have to have something sent in from Vort?" Purple muttered rubbing his temples. All of this arguing was beginning to give him a headache.
"That would be preferred," Lard Nar told him. "Although living in rags does suit my current predicament doesn't it? So why bother?"
"You always ask me a hundred questions," Purple sighed. "Do I always need to have a reason?"
"You're probably having a germaphobe attack every time I touch something aren't you?"
The corner of Purple's mouth twitched. Lard Nar had guessed right.
"That's not my problem," the former captain remarked shrugging. "Since leaving my planet, and the sterile labs I used to work in, I've gotten used to dirt. I even had a Resisty member who regularly barfed goo everywhere."
"Ok... that's just disgusting."
"Not for them it isn't," Lard Nar retorted. "Are we finished talking about this?"
Purple gave him a hard look.
The former captain sighed. Irkens could be so stubborn.
"Fine, get me the technicians stuff and I'll turn it into something wearable."
"What do you mean?"
Lard Nar shrugged. "I'll improvise. If I remove the neckband, completely destroy the ugly skirt thing, and stitch up the bottom of the pants, it might not be too unbearable to wear."
Purple raised an invisible brow. "Seriously? You'd put that much work into not looking like us?"
"I've never been someone who supports conformity," Lard Nar replied. "Couldn't you tell?"
The Tallest sighed. "Fine... I'll go find something. What colour? There are only two choices."
Red or purple; Lard Nar wasn't thrilled about wearing either, but he wasn't about to push the Tallest any further. Judging by Purple's flattened antennae and annoyed scowl, he was walking on thin ice as it was.
It was amazing enough that Purple was willing to go get him anything... sometimes he wondered if there was something really wrong with the Tallest... like maybe his Pak was shorting out or something.
"Do you think the red guy would like me any better if I wore his colour?" Lard Nar asked jokingly.
Purple's eyes widened a little, and he bit his lip. "Purple it is..." he muttered as he turned and left the room.
Lard Nar stared at the closed door for a moment. Purple had been brooding over his fight with Red since he had first been able to move again. At least the room was in better shape than it was right after the fight. The former leader of the Resisty had fixed up the bed and desk while Purple was recovering on the first day before moving on to clean up the rest of the mess.
The chair was, as he thought, not salvageable.
He hadn't really been forced to clean anything... with Purple barely conscious, Lard Nar could have simply left and done nothing. He would have gotten zapped for it later sure, but he didn't care much about that anymore. If he was completely against what Purple demanded from him, he wouldn't do it no matter how many shocks he received.
Besides, Purple never turned it up to full power. Lard Nar managed to get a quick look at the device when he thought the Tallest was asleep. Purple wasn't sleeping, but before he was hit for 'trying to steal it', he read the gauge. Full power would leave him dead, or at least as near to death as one could get.
He glanced down at the clothes lying on the ground and scooped them up. There was no point in letting them go to waste. He brought them underneath the desk; the place he'd been sleeping since he'd been forbidden from touching the bed, and dropped them there.
Sleeping on clothes would be much better than sleeping on cold hard tile.
He dusted off his hands. Of course the strange clothes weren't dirty, but the look of them still gave him the creeps. Hundreds of thousands of Irkens were currently wearing uniforms exactly like that one.
It only took him a few moments to get bored waiting for Purple, so he left. It was too bad the janitor the red Tallest had knocked out a few days before wasn't carrying anything of importance on him. The two drones were equally disappointing.
He also hadn't been able to come up with any kind of plan at all.
"This is starting to get ridiculous..." he told himself. He could at least find some kind of storage room and start building something that could destroy the Massive from the inside.
Lard Nar paused in mid stride. Now wasn't that a fantastic idea! But where was he going to find a storage type room on this gigantic ship? He'd already explored several floors and multiple rooms... It would be a little too obvious if he asked Purple, and the lavender eyed Tallest gave him the impression that he knew about as much about the layout of the Massive as the Vortian did anyway... Actually, Purple probably knew even less.
Lard Nar wondered if the interior layout had really changed so much since the prototype... or maybe he really had forgotten his own designs already.
The halls were quiet, but he had no fear of accidentally running into the red Tallest. Since Red and Purple fought, the red one had locked himself in his room and hadn't come out. Purple hadn't been making much of an effort to speak with his illusive co-Tallest either.
None of the technicians or drones asked Purple about his bandages, and the Tallest didn't tell them anything about it. Everyone was pretending that there was nothing wrong.
He shook his head. Just what was he thinking just now? He needed to focus. The Tallests were evil and he was their prisoner. He needed to escape, gather a larger force to oppose the Armada, and blast the Tallests to their doom.
A smile came to him as he continued trying to formulate a plan.
"You look pretty happy," Purple commented.
Lard Nar stopped walking and quickly snapped out of his thoughts. "Yeah, I try to be," he offered, not sounding entirely sure of himself. The purple Tallest had just come out of one of the rooms. The door was still open, and now his idea had completely vanished.
"Where is everyone?" Lard Nar asked hoping to change the subject.
"Most of them are in the lower chambers," Purple replied. "They're trying to avoid our quarters while Red is in a bad mood. The technicians are still in the same place they always are... since I'm the only one currently willing to give orders, I have to make frequent trips to the control room." His eyes narrowed and his antennae fell back a bit. "I don't remember saying you could wander around out here."
"But you also didn't say I had to stay where I was either," Lard Nar reminded him.
"Oh... right..." Purple tossed the technician's uniform he'd been holding at the Vortian who barely managed to catch it. "Turn this into whatever you want. I'll be in the control room. Try to stay out of the way. I'll shock you when I need you for something."
He rubbed his temples as he began hovering down the hall.
"I'm kind of curious," Lard Nar spoke, watching him leave. "Just how old are you anyway?"
"Ugh... you really are a creature with a hundred questions aren't you?" Purple remarked heaving a sigh. Despite this response, he paused to consider the question.
"You rescued a former Vortian scientist," Lard Nar informed the Tallest wryly. "Of course I'm going to have a lot of questions."
"Next time I'll rescue a former janitor or window cleaner then."
"Are you going to answer my question or not?"
"Seventeen," Purple responded. "In Irken years anyway. Why does it matter?"
The Tallest was younger than Lard Nar thought... Purple only looked older because of his height. Now guilt was going to keep him from killing the stupid Irken off. He really shouldn't have asked.
"You act much younger sometimes," Lard Nar retorted. It wasn't really true... but he couldn't think of anything else to say. If anything, Purple seemed pretty mature. It was the mask he wore that made him appear goofy and immature... like a child.
"Whatever," Purple floated down the hall and took one of the hover platforms up to the next floor.
Purple was still moody. Lard Nar sighed. Oh well, he needed to get to work on this terrible technician's uniform. Changing it into something less horrid was going to take a bit of time, especially since he didn't have any of the proper tools.
When he had finished tying the make-shift sash around his waist (formerly the skirt) the outfit was complete. He'd turned the black gloves into wristbands, the neckband into a vest which he wore underneath the regular Irken-styled shirt. He'd also sewed up the pants since Vortians didn't really wear things like shoes or boots.
Finding the tools had probably taken longer than the actual work its self.
"This is about as Vortian as these clothes are going to get..." he told himself. He was in a small empty room the Tallests seemed to have forgotten about. There was nothing in there but some wire poking down through the ceiling.
Then he felt the electrical current pulsate through his body. He ground his teeth and held his head. "Dlarn Tallest is going to give me a headache..." he grumbled as he stumbled out of the room.
The hallways were still much too quiet. If he was still on board his ship, there would have been someone hanging around and chatting at almost every turn.
"Hey captain, I think we're being followed!" Spleenk announced looking somewhat puzzled over his monitor.
"By what?" Lard Nar asked sitting upright in his captain's chair. "Bring it up on the monitors."
"Holy smokes sir!" Shloonktapooxis exclaimed drifting in place nearby. "Isn't that... that..."
"The Massive!" Lard Nar remarked loudly, trying to keep his panic down so he wouldn't disturb his crew. Unfortunately his initial outburst hadn't gone unnoticed.
Everyone began to panic almost instantly. They ran around yelling.
"Do not panic!" Lard Nar shouted over the racket. "This is no time to..." A bright flash appeared on the monitors. The ship was flung violently onto its side. He managed to hang on to his chair and he reached for his controls. He needed to get the ship flying straight again.
Another explosion, and everything became dark.
"So..." One of the blob creatures, Snorgins, began sounding a bit unsure. "What happens if the Tallests catch us...?"
Lard Nar paused in mid-stride and turned to regard the member of the Resisty. There was no point in trying to make light of their enemies.
"We'll all die in a firey explosion," he responded.
"Then... we're all going to die?"
"We're all going to die one way or another anyway," Lard Nar replied offering him a half-hearted smile. "I'd just rather die free than a slave you know?" He sucked in a breath. "But... if you feel the need to leave I'll understand..."
"If I may sir... I don't have any place left to go back to... none of us do."
"Then let's press forward together," Lard Nar said as he and his crew member continued towards the control room. "Who knows? Me might end up taking down the Irkens, with a bit of luck."
"Don't you mean a lot of luck?"
"Yeah," Lard Nar agreed. "A lot of luck."
Lard Nar blinked and took a quick look around. He was already at the control room.
The memories he had of his crew brought a sudden stab of loneliness. He truly missed everyone...
He couldn't deny that they were dead either... the Tallests had killed them all without any remorse...he knew that, even if he didn't allow himself much time to think about it.
His eyes widened with this realization. Both Tallests had done this to him, not just the red Tallest. "And to think... I almost trusted the purple one..." he muttered to himself. He couldn't allow himself to get distracted. He needed to find a way to either escape outright or blow up the Massive.
The door slid open and he stepped into the room. It was unnerving how quiet the technicians were...
"You called?" Lard Nar questioned the Tallest with a bit of forced humour.
Purple yawned. He was sitting on his chair looking rather bored. "I found you some slave work to do."
That sure sounded exciting... not.
"Go to the third level of the ship and find Ral. It shouldn't be too hard. You remember the storage pods on either side of the Massive right? You helped design them. Go to the one on the left. Ral will tell you what needs to get done."
"Say I get lost on my way there," Lard Nar ventured.
"You have ten minutes, if you aren't there by then, Ral will let me know and you'll be in trouble."
He had ten minutes to make it from the tenth floor down to the third? Of course that was entirely possible if you were say a Meekrob or something similar.
Stupid Tallests... he didn't even know who this 'Ral' person was.
At least his leg was healed. Now just how slippery were the floors...?
Notes and stuff: The flashbacks happened out of order on purpose.
I can't remember if I've explained what a cycle is... but if you were wondering what it is, it's an hour. A half-cycle is a half an hour. I guessed Purple's age based on what Zim's age is. Since they were smeets at the same time and everything. How old is Lard Nar in this fic? Well um... older than the Tallest that's for sure.