Thank you so much to my beta, crazy-wild-and-free! This chapter is built on all the great ideas we've talked over and I'm so happy we're finally here! I cannot thank you enough for all you do for me!
Dean
A hundred different emotions spiraled through him as he turned and slumped against the wall. All he could think of was Finch. How hurt she was gonna be when she found out, 'cause of course she was gonna fuckin' know. Didn't even cross his mind to leave this alone an' walk away. He wasn't one for gettin' in other people's business, but that's the thing. It wasn't 'other people'.
She was his girl.
He'd been stupid with her once, pushin' her away. An' now Orton had fucked up and Dean wasn't lettin' her get played. Nah, she deserved the best, and he'd been right. Orton wasn't it.
He had to tell her. Had to.
He pushed off the wall and stopped for half a second. Because Orton? Shit, he was smart. Way too cunning for his own good. What if he found a way to turn this around? If it came down to it, who would Finch believe? Him, or her boyfriend?
He needed proof, and he needed it fuckin' yesterday.
Dean had never moved so fast before, sprinting down the hall, dodging the startled superstars and frightened divas that were left now that the show was over. He whipped around the corner into the basement and burst into the locker room.
Seth actually screamed, dropping his vest as Dean stumbled in. Roman, always ready for a fight, was on his feet in a heartbeat, catching the expression on Dean's face.
"What's going -"
"Problem," Dean panted, waving his hand and motioning for the others to follow as he already started to stumble back into the hall. They didn't have fuckin' time to waste! He wasn't leaving any way for that snake to slither out of this one.
His boys followed without question, even though he could feeltheir confusion. He could count on them to have his back, even with nothin' to go on. As they came to the hallway he'd just left, Dean slowed and glanced back long enough to hold a finger to his lips. Seth and Roman nodded and followed his lead.
"Got your phone on you?" he breathed as he peeked back around. Orton had the bitch bent backwards over the crate behind her, skirt almost all the way up. A wave of nausea swept over him and he leaned back. Seth patted himself down and shook his head; he watched on fuckin' needles as Roman fished through his vest.
The big guy tugged it out of an inner pocket, and Dean coulda fuckin' collapsed. He shifted closer and nodded to the corner.
"Lean around, record what you see," he hissed; Roman glanced over to ask why, but the look on Dean's face must've been enough. He nodded and leaned around like his brother had done.
His head whipped back a second later, mouth agape, and Dean just pressed his lips together in agreement. Seth looked between the two of them in question but kept quiet as Roman turned back to record. After about thirty seconds he backed up and jerked his head down the hall.
"What's going on?" Seth asked as they rounded the corner. Roman passed him his phone as Dean led them back to the locker room, red tinting his vision again. From the string of curses coming from behind him, the video would be all the evidence they needed.
"Wait. So are we gonna tell -"
"Yeah," Dean ground out; it was taking all he had to keep from going back and ripping that fucker in half. All that kept him going was the set of green eyes that surfaced in his mind, the twist in his chest at the heartbreak he'd see in them again.
At least this time, Dean could be there to fix it.
Bryan's back was to me; this was my chance.
Slowly, careful not to disturb the water bottles lying around me, I eased to my feet and took a few creeping steps towards the ring. He was still doing his stretches, oblivious to my movements.
Pausing at ringside, I reached up and grabbed the middle rope, cautiously pulling myself onto the apron. I stretched out on my stomach and started to roll under the bottom of the rope.
"If I have to tell you one more time to get out of the ring, Jamie, I swear I will lock you in the trunk," Bryan snapped; I let out a groan and rolled back to the apron, sprawling on my back. My mentor stood and glanced back at me, irritation sparking over his goaty face.
"I rested all weekend!" I complained. "I feel fine. I'm gonna be cleared by Doc and I'll be back in the Rumble, so I need to get myself warmed up!"
"First of all, you little gremlin, you haven't rested at all since yesterday morning," he corrected, plopping down next to me and leaning on the bottom rope as he gave me a pointed gaze. "Your arm is still sore, you can't even kneel on that busted knee, and you're probably still concussed. A blind howler monkey wouldn't even clear you for Rumble, so don't go getting your hopes up."
My mouth opened, hung for a second as I processed his words, and then snapped shut again.
"I did too rest," I scoffed, arguing the one bit of my own lie I could kind of manipulate. He gave me a deadpan stare.
"You passed out from the pain meds Friday night, woke up at six Saturday, and you've been running around since. I don't even think you slept last night."
Again, I went to retort and came up empty. Bryan snorted and slid himself under the rope and off the apron, then turned back to me.
"Look, I'm all about an unexpected comeback," he began, taking my hands and helping me to the floor. My knee twinged when I put weight on it and Bryan smirked at the face I made. "But you're on medical leave until Monday. I only let you come with me so Brie could have a few hours of peace."
"Are you implying I'm a nuisance?"
"Yes," David Otunga confirmed from the other side of the gym; Brodus Clay voiced his agreement. Two new souls to torment, I mused, giving them dangerous smiles as I helped Bryan gather up our crap. He grabbed both our bags and I scampered ahead of him to hold the doors.
"I'm just saying," he shrugged, squeezing past me outside. "Sharing a hotel room with someone who doesn't sleep isn't as relaxing as you'd think."
"You could've paced with me, you know. Pump yourself up for tonight -"
"Jay, I was serious. Don't go getting your hopes up," he cut in, giving me a rare stern frown as he made for the car. I opened my mouth to argue and he shook his head. "You won't be getting cleared. I don't want you getting the wrong idea. We cut Rumble as a hard loss for this year, and we focus on Elimination Chamber."
We piled into the car and I spent our ride trying to convince him to vouch for me. Or let me valet. Or maybe let me on commentary...
"Booker knows you too well. You're not getting within a hundred feet of ringside tonight."
"Says you," I mumbled under my breath as we pulled up to the hotel. He shot me a look and I blinked innocently up at him. "What?"
"I'm pretending I didn't hear that," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as we got out and grabbed our respective bags. Once I circled the car he pulled mine out of my grasp.
"I can carry a half empty backpack," I began; he shook his head vigorously, holding the bag up above our heads. I scrabbled to grab the strap and he nudged me back, smirking at my short reach.
"As your mentor, I can't allow any physical exertion while you're on medical suspension."
I eyed him as I held the doors for him, following him thoughtfully.
"Any exertion?" When he nodded, I took a few steps back, then ran and leapt onto his back. He yelped in surprise and nearly fell backwards as he fought to balance us.
"What the hell -"
"Walking is taking a toll on me. As my mentor, you'll need to take me back to the room," I told him cheekily, propping my chin on his fluffy head. He groaned, and I tightened my hold around his neck.
"I'm only doing this to prove a point," he griped, jamming his hand on the elevator button.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
The elevator doors opened and I found myself almost eye-to-eye with my boyfriend. Randy blinked in surprise and a grin split my face.
"Excuse us," Bryan muttered, edging past the Viper. I leaned as heavily as I could on Bryan as I reached forward and hit our floor.
"Hi," I said to Randy, turning my face and resting my cheek on Bryan's head, still grinning. He snorted and shook his head as Bryan grumbled under his breath. "Bryan insists I relax, and he refused to let me walk."
"Yeah, I'm sure he did," Randy chuckled, smile playing on his lips. I patted Bryan's shoulder as I hugged him even tighter.
"He's such a good mentor!"
"I'm throwing you out the next window I find," he wheezed, shuffling forward when the elevator stopped on our floor.
"Ay, you're gonna be downstairs by four, right?" Randy called after us; I leaned back on instinct and tugged Bryan with me, making him stumble backwards.
"Yeah, I'll - augh!"
Bryan let my legs drop and my grip wasn't enough to keep me on his back. I slumped to the ground and scowled after my goat-faced brother as he literally sprinted down the hall. Jerk. I'd kick his ass when I got back to the room.
Wait - oh shit. He had both our room keys!
"Yeah!" I squeaked to Randy as I scrambled to my feet. "Lobby, 4 o'clock!"
I didn't want for his answer, taking off after Bryan as he rounded the corner. Thankfully I was faster, and he was thrown off by the bags in his arms. I overtook him just as he unlocked the door and tackled him inside before he could even think of locking me out.
Brie and Nikki let out shrieks as the two of us tumbled inside and into the TV stand. We slumped over, dazed in a tangled heap as hands reached down to pull us apart. I braced for chastising, so when Brie tucked me to her and glared at her boyfriend over my head, I couldn't hide my smirk.
"Bryan! Jamie needs to be resting! You can't roughhouse like this!"
"What?!" he cried, shucking our bags and swatting Nikki's hands off him as he rounded on us. "I didn't -"
"She has a concussion, Bryan!"
"A concussion," I echoed, feigning hurt.
"What if she'd hit her head? Or God forbid either of you broke an arm..." she dropped her hold on me and followed Bryan to the other side of the suite as I rummaged for some clean clothes. Nikki dropped to sit next to my bag on the bed, smirking up at me.
"You did all of that, didn't you?"
"Did what?" I asked innocently, settling on a pair of cutoff shorts and my Lawless tee. "Can't remember a thing. Too concussed."
Nikki rolled her eyes and pulled me into a hug as I tried to duck past her to the bathroom. I struggled to break away as I gave her a panicked look.
"Who are you?! Stranger danger! Stranger danger!"
Nikki laughed and loosened her grip; I pulled away and scampered to go shower, throwing her a wink over my shoulder as I went.
Doc looked over the sheet in his hand once again, and then back up at me. Did he somehow know I'd lied about almost everything he'd asked?
Rest all weekend, get plenty of sleep? ...Of course!
Eat healthy and drink plenty of water? … Well, I barely ate so I'm sure it evened out the little bit of fast food I scarfed down...
Limit physical activities, including warm-ups and simple exercise? Sure... yeah, let's go with that.
I mean, it wasn't like I'd gone and jumped off a thirty-foot ladder, or leapt onto an announce table, or challenged the Shield by myself. This had probably been one of the most cautious, restful weekends of my life!
Bryan had a point, though. Everyone in charge of letting me fight tonight knew me way too well. Doc sighed and sat the chart aside; the look on his face sealed my fate.
"I'm sorry," he began; my own face fell to match his. "If it were a regular one-on-one match, maybe I'd give you a little wiggle room. But a 30 man rumble..."
"No, I understand," I assured, trying to bottle the disappointment. "I appreciate you looking out for me. Someone has to," I joked. Though Doc smiled, it was clear he hated telling me I was benched as much as I hated hearing it.
"Rest up tonight – and I mean really rest – and I can give you the all clear for a match tomorrow night."
"Thanks Doc, really," I promised, sliding off the table and giving his arm a quick squeeze as I slipped past him. The second the door shut, I let out a heavy breath and slumped back against the door.
It wasn't a surprise, but I was still pretty bummed. I'd been clinging to this inkling of hope all weekend that I'd miraculously healed a whole day sooner than expected, and that my neglect of self-care would go unnoticed. I wasn't in any sort of shape for a Rumble match, and I'd been ridiculous to think I could pretend to be.
Now, more than ever, I was glad Randy had come with me early to the arena. He made his way over to me, a sympathetic smile on his face. I let out a huff and pushed off the door, letting myself slump into a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me to his side so we could walk a little easier.
"Come on, it's not the end of the world," he tried to assure, leading us down the hall towards his locker room. "You miss tonight, but you've got Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania to look forward to."
"Yeah, I know. And I am looking forward to them. It's just..." I sighed and dropped my head against his side. "I really wanted to be in the Rumble."
"I've got something that might cheer you up," he began, peeking down at me. Excitement bubbled through me and I pulled out of his hold to slide in front of him. He paused and smiled down at me, enjoying my eager curiosity.
"What?!"
"I talked to Hunter while you were being examined..." he shrugged and sighed. "I mean, I should probably just tell you tomorrow. Don't want to overexcite you and stress your injuries -"
"Randy!" I laughed, playfully shoving him back; he shrugged and pretended to turn away. "Tell me! Please!"
"Well... As long as you get cleared..."
"Yeeessss..." I urged, clasping my hands together.
"You and I will have a tag match against Rollins and Reigns tomorrow night."
"What? Really?!" I squeaked, actually jumping up and down. He knew how much I'd loved tagging with him and Bryan last week! He laughed and nudged me forward; I continued to bounce, eyes still on him. How awesome was that gonna be!? Randy and I teaming up to kick Roman and Seth's asses! Dean would be probably be ringside, it's be tense and probably fall apart into a brawl... just what I loved.
"I take it you're on board for the match?" he teased; I spun around to walk straight now, wrapping my arms around one of his and hugging tight.
"Totally. Oh my god. It's gonna be so freaking awesome! Hey, maybe we could even get some air time tonight to promote it. Talk shit to the Shield, rile everyone up -"
"Yeah, and get ourselves jumped tonight?" he shook his head. "I mean, maybe if you hadn't gotten yourself put on injury leave," he trailed, giving me a playful look. I rolled my eyes and elbowed him as I huffed,
"It's not like I planned on all that happening."
"Maybe you shouldn't have begged Big Show to get your ass kicked."
I literally felt myself bristle at his comment. Regardless of the laugh he gave after what he said, it rubbed me the wrong way and I immediately went on the defensive.
"You know, technically this is all your fault, Mr. 'make yourself look tough'."
"I wasn't the one that went out and called Show a coward. That's on you."
When Randy went to keep walking I held my ground, arms crossing over my chest. He noticed I wasn't at his side and he stopped, sighing heavily and running a hand down his face. "What's your problem now? "
"You made fun of me for being afraid of him!"
"And what part of that told you to pick a fight? Huh?"
"As I remember it, you were going off about how much of a coward I'd be if I didn't go talk about the tweet! I'd wanted to stay backstage all night but you said I had to make myself look tough!"
"Hey, don't be getting' mad at me, Jay. If you refuse to take responsibility for your actions then it's a good thing you're out of the Rumble," Randy threw out, nasty smirk on his face as he started to back away. "I told you what I'd do, not what you had to do. This is all on you. If you're stupid enough to think nothing comes back to bite you in the ass after shit like that, then you deserve what you got."
If I wasn't dating the asshole in front of me, I would've punched him in his smug face. I already knew I'd messed up, I was already upset about missing the Rumble, and I didn't need any more shit coming from him now too.
"Well no one asked you, did they?" I uncrossed my arms and backed up to one of the side hallways. Randy scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning away and continuing the way we were going.
"If you're gonna have this attitude all night, just go back to the hotel. Some of us actually have matches to worry about, and I'm not dealing with baby Lawless."
I flipped him off as he disappeared around the corner; it didn't even make me feel better. Tears pricked my eyes and I quickly blinked them away, taking a shaking breath to steady myself. I turned to go find Brie and Nikki and accidentally bumped into a robed body.
Damien sucked in a breath and skittered back, eyes wide in anticipation for whatever he thought I'd do. As much as I loved harassing my bearded buddy, I just didn't have it in me tonight; I stepped aside and made room for him to pass.
He didn't budge. For several moments we stood stone-still in the hall, staring at one another. After nearly a minute, I moved back a little further and swept my hand out, motioning for him to move.
"Oh, you'll have me walk right into your little trap, is that it?" I blinked and shook my head, which only seemed to make him more suspicious. He scoffed and tightened the tie on his robe, tilting his head back. "I won't fall for your tricks."
"I'm not tricking you," I told him simply, trying to keep my voice from sounding as dejected as I was feeling. "You can walk past me, I'm not gonna do anything."
He continued to stare at me, bewilderment in his wide eyes. Realizing he wouldn't trust me to behave, I started down the hall to leave him alone.
"No teasing?" he called; I paused and glanced back. "No threats? No Jamien Sandless?" I shook my head. "Not even glitter?"
"Sorry," I told him, shrugged in apology. As if he just couldn't believe it, he turned in a circle looking around us. When his brief search came up empty he frowned to himself. I started to scoot away again just as he snapped and let out a shout of realization.
"Aha! You've decorated my robe, haven't you?!" he undid the tie and wriggled desperately to get it off. "You used that gem wand to write something scandalous, so when I go to the ring -"
He held it up in front of him and cut off seeing it blank. Slowly, he lowered the robe and turned to look at me. His hand made a brief pass over his butt, checking for bedazzling, and it fell dejectedly to his side.
"You truly didn't do anything."
"Nope," I confirmed, almost around the corner. "Good luck tonight Dames."
I left the man floundering on the spot as I continued to the Diva's locker room.
Nikki was the only one inside, besides the other divas that shot me glares as I trudged to the couch. They could be annoyed with me in their space all they wanted to be; I needed my best friend. Nikki looked up as I collapsed beside her and curled up into a heap.
"You didn't get cleared, did you?" she asked, hand instantly beginning to rub soothing circles on my leg. I blinked the prickling tears away.
"No Rumble for me," I confirmed, voice breaking.
Nikki's hand slid around my back, hooking my side and easily maneuvering me around so I was curled on her lap. After the unexpected fight with Randy, her tenderness with me pushed my already wild emotions over the edge and I let all the frustrations of the night take over. My face buried into Nikki's chest and hot tears ran down my cheeks. Her arms wrapped tight around me and held me to her.
"I know, I know," she murmured, rubbing my back as I took a shuddering breath. I felt so stupid for crying, but I couldn't stop. All the anger at myself for screwing up my Rumble opportunity, the hurt towards Randy, the stress of my life the past few weeks... I couldn't lie, it felt good to finally let go of some of the frustration I'd pent up.
The two of us stayed curled up like that for almost half an hour, talking softly about plans for the week. By the time Bryan and Kane's match with Rhodes Scholars came to an end, I was much less weepy than I'd been.
"Aw" I mumbled, reaching up and wiping the lingering tears off my cheeks as the camera zoomed in on Rhodes Scholars sulking in the ring. "Poor Dames."
"Aren't you happy Bryan won?" Nikki mused; I shrugged and tipped my head back on her shoulder to meet her eyes.
"He abandoned Team No Less. I've got to support my future tag-team endeavors now that I've been betrayed."
"You're ridiculous."
"You have snot on your shirt," I retorted, finally pulling away and shifting to sit cross-legged next to her. Nikki just shrugged, sending me a wry smirk as she licked her lips.
"I've had worse."
"Eww, Nicole," I groaned, making a face as she giggled to herself. I pretended to gag and she shoved me over onto my side. I let myself stay slumped there, oddly comfortable, as I took a few deep breaths to settle the lingering frustration. As the next match started up, I looked around.
"Where'd Brie and John get off to?"
"John's warming up, and Brie's probably still at catering-" at the mention of food, my stomach growled. I scrambled to sit up again as Nikki snorted and gave me a bemused look. "What, are you hungry?"
"I'm starving. I haven't eaten since..." I rolled my eyes up, ticking off the hours on my fingers. "Oh my god. Over six hours."
"You poor thing," Nikki fake-worried, getting to her feet and pulling me with her. "Let's go feed you before you waste away."
Playful or not, I was totally down for a food run. I felt lighter now, so much better than I'd felt in days. Crying on my best friend always seemed to soothe my aching heart. Maybe you shouldn't keep things from her, my conscious pointed out. I shoved down the voice of reason as Nikki and I linked arms and made our way to catering.
We only made it down half a hallway before Nikki pulled to a stop; John was at the end of a side hall, talking with Vickie and Booker. She started towards him, tugging me with her, but I quickly pulled from her grip. I really didn't have it in me to deal with Vickie's smart comments and Booker's sad, moping face he'd been giving me since Friday night.
"You go see your man. I'm gonna go find some food," I explained pointedly. She gave me an understanding smile, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.
"I'll be right there," she promised; I waved her on to her boyfriend as I scampered back the way we'd been going.
My mouth was watering at the smell of the chicken; I could practically taste it already. I usually didn't go more than two or three hours without food and right now I was dying. I'd just started to push the door open when my phone went off.
From: Dean
shield locker room asap. alone.
Well that wasn't disconcerting or anything. I nibbled on my lip as I stared at the text for another few moments. My stomach growled; did I have time to snag a plate? He wouldn't have said ASAP if he hadn't meant it... I sighed and begrudgingly retreated from the mouth-watering aromas wafting out to me.
Nikki would probably be preoccupied with John for a while, anyways... I tucked my phone away and scampered down the hall leading into the basement. I could hear the boys talking quietly inside; I tried to nudge down the apprehension welling in my stomach.
"I got your ominous text," I announced, leaning into the Shield's locker room. The three men inside turned to give me solemn looks, taking me by surprise. "Everything okay?"
"Not exactly," Dean said, voice quieter than normal. Okay, what had I done? I hadn't even harassed Seth, so what were they all somber about?
"My friends know where I am," I lied, hedging inside nervously. All three of them were making me uneasy, only made worse when Roman slipped past me and shut the door, turning the lock. "If I don't meet Nikki at catering -"
"We're not gonna kill you, jeeze," Seth huffed, rolling his eyes. At least the grumpy oreo sounded like himself. Though a smile ghosted over Dean's face, it didn't linger. Roman rested a hand on my shoulder and urged me further inside.
Dean got to his feet and stepped up to me, the only comfort so far. His soft blue eyes flicked between mine, face tugged into a worried frown; I couldn't take this anymore.
"Would one of you please tell me what's going on?"
"There's somethin' you gotta see," Dean murmured, pulling a phone from his vest pocket and holding it out to me.
What was with him? I'd only seen him this dead serious with me twice - right after I'd kissed him, and after my stupid antics at TLC. I had a sneaking suspicion that whatever this was would become another memory I didn't want.
He held my gaze as I slowly took the phone from him; I studied the screen, and my brows pulled together in a frown. Randy had his back to the camera, and I could see my arms up around his neck.
"Dean, what -"
"Y'need to see this, Finch. D'you trust me?"
"Yes," I said softly, surprising even myself at how immediate my response was. Finally, the ghost of a smile flickered over Dean's face. Taking a settling breath, I gave him a small nod and looked back down, then pressed play. The camera was far back and the audio was quiet, but I could hear us kissing almost embarrassingly loud. Randy leaned forward and laid me back over a crate as one of his hands disappeared from view.
My arms pulled him closer and I frowned a little more. When was this? From his outfit, it looked like what he'd been wearing Friday night when he left. Except I'd only gotten a few moments to talk to him before Kane hauled me away for our match.
We certainly hadn't gotten any time alone like this. In fact, the last time we'd made out in public had been after his return, out by the busses. After Dean had come across us I'd made a point to avoid a public scene...
And sheesh, we were really getting into it. Randy was moaning and I was making noises I'd never known I'd made. It was so over-the-top and obnoxious I went to hit pause and interrogate Dean when I saw Randy grab my leg and hitch it up over his waist.
Except, it wasn't my leg. Now it made sense; I didn't remember this because this wasn't me.
This was a bare leg, several shades darker than my own, wearing a pair of killer red stilettos not even Nikki would own. Randy rolled his hips forward and the voice that moaned his name wasn't mine. A cold, sickening ache started in my chest. The realization of what I was seeing hit me just as Randy turned and pressed a tall, dark-haired woman up against the wall.
His hands slid up her thighs and under the hem of her ridiculously short skirt as his lips dropped to her neck. As he nibbled down to her ample chest, she dropped her head back and moaned,
"Right there... Just like last night, baby."
I was so shocked I could barely breathe. My gaze snapped up to Dean and I opened my mouth to say something, say anything, but I couldn't. I just stared at him as I felt tears beginning to well in my eyes.
The video finally ended and the locker room fell to silence. Roman was the first to move, gently taking the phone from my hand. Dean held my gaze, his expression soft, eyes burning with apology.
"Finch?" he asked softly; my heart tightened and again I tried to say something. All that left me were the tears that spilled down my cheeks. I hurriedly wiped them off, trying to keep myself from completely breaking apart right here.
When Show had attacked me, when I'd needed help, that's where he'd been. If he'd come out with me, or at least been watching my match, he could've come out to help me. He wasn't in medical, like Bryan. He could've helped me. He could've kept me in the Rumble.
My eyes squeezed shut and I took a shaking breath, willing myself to keep it together. I couldn't focus; my mind was racing with a hundred questions as pain and anger and betrayal burned through my veins. What had the mystery woman said? Just like last night. So that meant when he'd been ignoring my calls a few days ago he wasn't with Hunter. He was with her.
Wait. How many times the last few months had he given me that same excuse? And all the other excuses that left me alone and forgotten? When I'd wait up all night for a call that never came, all the promises he'd broken when he had 'somewhere else to be'?
A wave of painful, overwhelming realization surged through me so powerfully I felt my legs buckle. Instantly, Dean had an arm around me as his other hand rested on my arm, guiding me to the bench. We sank down as more and more tears came; a sob racked my body and I doubled over, burying my face into my hands.
Dean's arm stayed around me and I curled into him as I cried for the second time that night. My heart couldn't focus on an emotion; my chest wrenched painfully with each one it went through, overwhelming me even more. How stupid could I be? I'd known something was going on. I knew he was hiding things from me. And now, because I'd been so stupidly blinded by him and his pretty face and empty promises, I was sobbing in the Shield's locker room like a ten-year-old.
I was so furious at Randy the more my mind ran over all the questions. Why her? Why hadn't I been enough for him? Why, after all I'd done for him, had he turned to someone else? Sadness swept the anger away when I realized the answer: because it's me.
Compared to the glimpses I caught of that woman, there was no way I measured up. My short, skinny self didn't have her curves. I never wore heels, never dressed up like she was... Hell, I'd just now slept with Randy after how long? I wasn't good enough for him, and I'd been stupid to think otherwise. I'd denied him what he wanted, I led him on and shut him down, I'd been his girlfriend and hadn't even done what I should've.
This was my own damn fault.
When that realization settled over me the burning ache in my heart began to numb. The questions, the fury, the emotions racing in my mind slowly flickered out and I was left with a dark, quiet whisper of this is exactly what you deserve.
I sat up slowly, taking a deep breath to shove down the lingering sobs. My hands quickly wiped at my cheeks as I cleared my throat. When my eyes opened, I was met with Dean's gentle gaze.
God, how stupid did I look to him? I'd gone and thrown my heart at Dean and had it bounce back, and what had I learned? Nothing. I was just a blubbering little girl that was stupid enough to think she meant something to someone.
"Finch?" he tried gently, hand coming up to cup my chin. His thumb brushed over my cheek, wiping off a stray tear, and I had to pull away. His concern was wasted on me. This was my fault. He and the boys had already done more than I deserved.
"Thank you for telling me," I said softly, trying to keep my voice from breaking again as I got to my feet. I risked a glance at Roman and Seth, only to be met with pity. It made my stomach churn, burned my numb heart; I had to look away.
"Hey, darlin'," Dean said as I made for the door. His fingers entangled with mine and tugged me back. "You can stay here with us if y'want. We'll go grab y'some food an' we can -"
"I need to get back."
"Really, we don't mind," Seth said, surprising me when he came off as gentle as Dean. I'd never heard anything but annoyance and distaste when he talked to me.
"We got you. We've all been through the same shit," Roman told me, stepping up to me and resting a hand on my shoulder. Shame sparked at his touch and I ducked away. None of you deserved it, I thought bitterly, hatred at myself beginning to burn in the back of my mind. They don't need to waste their concern on me.
"I've... got a lot to deal with," I pushed back as I unlocked the door. Roman and Seth shared looks of concern as Dean made to follow me.
"Let me walk y'back," he offered, opening the door for me and giving a gentle, dimpled smile. I felt tears pricking my eyes again and shook my head quickly; his smile faded.
"I'll be fine," I lied, inching past him and offering the best smile I could. By the look on his face, I hadn't done a good job. "Thank you."
"Finch," he called after me as I started to scurry away. I paused at the end of the hall and glanced back at him. "Just uh... just let me know you're okay. I'm gonna worry about ya the rest'a the night."
Dean's genuine concern hurt me the most because I wanted it the most. I needed it. My heart – not as numb as I thought – was aching to be near him. To run back and hug him tight and start sobbing all over again. And, thing was, I knew Dean would let me. Whatever Shield had to do tonight, he'd put aside to make sure I was okay. Just from the look in his eyes, I knew he'd put his friends, his job, everything on hold to take care of me.
And did I really deserve that kind of compassion? Did Dean's night need to be ruined because of my stupidity? No.
I turned away without another word and disappeared from his sight. For a moment, I ducked into a dark side hallway and leaned against the wall, shutting my eyes again as I tried to figure out what to do. I'd told the boys I had to get back, but there was no way I could face my friends like this.
Before I knew it, I was wandering up into the empty halls of the arena, the back staging area most superstars stayed away from. It was quiet, secluded, and free of questions I couldn't answer and stares I couldn't meet.
For a moment, I was back where I'd been after kissing Dean. Hurt, confused, alone, and past my breaking point. Except this time, I wasn't crying. I couldn't. My heart literally ached, my body was numb, and the whirl of emotions burned in my mind but I just couldn't cry.
Once I'd found a nice, hidden corner I dropped down and slumped against the wall, pulling my legs tight to my chest and dropping my head back, eyes shut tight. The angrier I got with Randy, the angrier I became with myself.
How could I blame him for cheating without blaming the person who drove him to it? If I hadn't been so shy and awkward, if I'd just opened up to him... if I just hadn't been myself, none of this would have happened.
Now that I was still, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Tugging it out only made my guilt even worse. Two missed calls from Brie, and one I'd just missed from Nikki. Probably worried about me, as usual, because I'd run off again to deal with the secrets I'd been keeping.
The other woman – at least what I'd seen of her – was gorgeous. Long legs, killer curves, and a fashion sense I couldn't even dream of. She was the type of woman I'd expect to find with Randy, not me. Not some short, skinny teenager that hadn't even had a serious boyfriend before. I looked down at my outfit of the night and realized just how weird I was.
Brie and Nikki were in dresses and heels, makeup and hair done up even when they weren't wrestling. All the women in the Diva's locker room were the same way, and here I was in shorts that weren't even clean, a merch shirt that didn't even really fit me, and a pair of sneakers that I'd superglued back together twice.
What about all the other times too? When Randy had teased me about my clothes, my hair, my makeup-less face... he'd been telling me what he wanted and I hadn't listened. I wasn't good enough as I was, and I was stupid to think I'd be enough for him as I was. How many times had he told me how much more attractive I'd look if I'd dressed like Nikki?
The faint sound of Dolph's music drifted up to my hiding hole; the Rumble was starting. I really needed to get back to the others, I knew I did, but I wasn't any better off than before. If anything, I was worse now. My mind was swimming with guilt and self-hatred, and my aching heart just made me sick to my stomach.
So instead of being a responsible, mature adult and facing the reality I'd made for myself, I tucked my legs even tighter to my chest and buried my face in my knees. I didn't look up again until I heard shoes scuffing over the tile, heading my way.
Dean didn't say a word as he came up to me. He dropped down at my side, leaned back against the wall, and rested his arms on his knees as he stared ahead. I pillowed my cheek on my arm and watched him for a few moments. He seemed content to sit there in silence, but my curiosity couldn't take it.
"How'd you find me?"
He rolled his head to the side and quirked a smile at me, shrugging his shoulders.
"Y'weren't in your locker room, an' your twins were lookin' for ya. Figured you tucked yourself away somewhere."
"So you just wandered around the arena?"
"Only took me about five minutes t'find ya," he pointed out; at my look of surprise, his smile grew just a bit more. "I know ya pretty well, Finch. Once I knew y'weren't with your friends, I had a hunch you'd be hidin' where you'd think you couldn't be found. Just like I had a hunch you were lyin' when you told me you'd be fine."
I wanted to lie again, to assure him I would be fine. Tell him I didn't need him worrying about me. That I wasn't sick to my stomach, that my self-hatred hadn't just doubled in the last twenty minutes. I wanted to push him away and hole myself up like I usually did when I was hurt, but I just couldn't.
I spoke without thinking before I could stop myself.
"This is all my fault. I don't deserve anyone's concern."
Dean hmm'd and bobbed his head, pressing his lips together for a few moments as his eyes searched my own. He blew out a breath and shifted to face me, scooting a hint closer.
"I felt the same way when I got fucked over." At the surprise that flickered over my face, he huffed a breath and elaborated, "actually, I was about your age. Had this girl I was with an' at the time she was all I cared about. Put her over wrestlin', over the little bit'a family I had, everythin'."
"What happened?" I pressed, watching the expressions shift on his face. Thoughtful, to hurt, to bitter. He gave a sharp laugh and dropped his head back.
"Bitch was sleepin' with the whole goddamn roster, backstage crew included. Shit, bet she was even gettin' with the crowd for all I know. I was stupid, thought it was love." My stomach dropped, remembering what Randy and I had literally just begun to say to one another. "Told me every day she loved me, an' she'd go suck off my tag partner. Spend all day with me, makin' me feel special, an' spend all night on her back with the ref from my match."
"Shit," I breathed, heart twisting thinking about Dean – about Mox – putting up with that. In all the time I'd known him, I'd never thought about him loving someone, going through a heartache like that. Dean finally rolled his head down to meet my eyes again, and now he just looked... sad. It was an expression I'd never seen on him before; it didn't look right on him. He was cocky, playful, dangerous... but now he just looked regretful, weighed down by decisions he couldn't go back and change.
"Thing is, I told myself I fuckin' deserved it. Convinced myself it was somethin' I'd been doin' that pushed her to it. Kept thinkin' that if I was a better guy, if I dressed how she wanted an' did all the shit she tried t'force me into, that I'd keep her from jumpin' on the next dick that walked by. Got myself thinkin' that I'd messed up an' that I fuckin' deserved that shit, y'know?"
"Yeah," I said softly, realization at what he was driving towards settling over me. He caught the understanding in my own expression and shifted closer to me, hand resting on my knee, over my hand. My heart gave a powerful ache at his touch, jolting the rest of my body out of the numb cocoon I'd retreated into.
"Took me a long fuckin' time t'realize it wasn't me that was messed up. Yeah, I was a dick back then. Ran my mouth, stole more shit than I should'a, picked fights that didn't need'a be picked, but y'know what? I didn't deserve that shit from her. An' there's no way you deserve that shit from Orton."
Tears pricked my eyes and my lower lip trembled. His hand squeezed mine and a tear rolled down my cheek.
"I-I knew he wanted more from me. I didn't do what I should've been doing. He – he'd even tell me what he wanted, and I didn't even try," I forced out, voice breaking again as another tear rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away angrily. "If I'd just tried a little harder for him -"
"Hey, hey," Dean cut in, squeezing my hand again. The sadness had finally faded from his eyes, replaced with a burning anger that was actually a little alarming. "Nah. This ain't on you. Orton knew your limits, an' like I told you before, he's a grown fuckin' man. It was his decision to do this shit, an' in no way is this on you. If he wasn't happy, he could'a walked away."
"I should've been enough," I whispered, voicing what was hurting me the most as I tried to keep myself from breaking down again; it was definitely a battle I was losing, made worse when Dean's face softened. He lifted his hand to my cheek and cupped it gently, thumb brushing off more tears I hadn't even noticed.
"If Orton was too stupid to see what he had with you, then that's his loss. You don't gotta change for anyone, you hear me? I told ya before, if he respected you he would'a understood what you wanted, would'a been fine with you as you are. That selfish fucker don't deserve anythin' from ya. Not guilt, not tears, nothin'. You're more than enough, darlin'."
The passion in what Dean said, the raw honesty in his voice shook me to my core. I thought about Randy and all the times he'd disrespected me... all the times he'd pushed me where I didn't want to go, when he'd yelled and lost his patience with me, made fun of me, mocked me, got so rough he left bruises...
Dean was right. Randy didn't respect me, and it went way past the cheating. My heart tightened at the thought of the last few months, how stupid I'd been... God. Had it taken something like this to shake it all into perspective?
"Can I have a hug?" I sniffed as Dean swept more tears away. He cracked one of his genuine, dimpled smiles and his hand slid off my cheek to cup my neck. He tugged me to him and I scooted forward, folding myself up against his side as I wrapped my arms around him. He enveloped me in his arms and held tight, his cheek pillowing onto my head as I cried into his shoulder.
My tears felt different this time, though. Not as sharp, not as cold. Oh, I was hurt, that was a given. Randy cheating on me... even just thinking that sent a pang of disgust and anger jolting through me. But I didn't feel alone anymore, and I had Dean to thank. It was... man, it was gonna take a lot to come back from how I felt right now.
The hollow, empty ache that had settled into me began to ebb away though, and in its place I felt just a flicker of okayness. Like, maybe I didn't need to hide myself away and sit in misery. Maybe I could actually talk to my friends, show them what was hurt and have them patch me up, like Dean was doing. Piece together what was broken to make me whole again.
Honestly, I could've stayed like that for the rest of the night. Dean certainly wasn't pulling away, even when my blubbering receded to a few watery sniffs. In fact, neither of us moved until Dean's phone started buzzing. He didn't move to answer it, but after what I guessed was the second call, I tugged back to look up at him.
"You gonna get that, or...?"
"S'not important," he dismissed; his arms still didn't pull away. The phone started buzzing again and I raised a brow at him. "Just Roman an' Seth. Like I said, it ain't important."
On the fourth call, I took the initiative and pulled away, tugging his phone from his pocket. He started to argue as I pushed it into his hand.
"I don't think they'd call you this many times if it wasn't important."
With a heavy sigh, he flipped his phone open (man he needed one from this century) and growled,
"What the hell d'you want?" Seth's nasally voice rose up from the other end. Dean rolled his eyes and I giggled in spite of everything at his expression. "Yeah, yeah... I heard ya the first hundred times, shit. I told you I'll be there... Yeah, whatever. Five minutes, I know. I can read a fuckin' clock."
He snapped his phone shut and shoved it back in his pocket, but didn't make a move to leave. When he caught me watching him curiously, it was his turn to raise a brow.
"Whatever you're needed for, it sounds pretty urgent."
"We uh, we're s'posed to make an impression in the Rumble," he hedged; I gave him a dry look.
"Let me guess. You guys are gonna make sure Punk stays champ."
"Never said that," he sniffed, rolling his shoulders in an easy shrug. When Dean's phone began ringing again, I shoved myself to my feet, then turned and offered him a hand. His lips quirked up at me and he slipped his fingers into mine, letting me tug him up to his feet.
"We should both get going. I think our friends are about ready to kill us."
"You actually gonna go find 'em this time, or am I gonna have to track you down again?"
A smile played on my lips as I dropped my gaze to my shoes, trying to ignore the inevitable realization that I'd have to face them sooner or later. Dean's hand snaked out and tipped my chin up.
"If y'need more time, you're welcome in the locker room. No matter what Seth says."
"Like I'd listen to him anyways," I scoffed; it was Dean's turn to quirk a smile at me. His hand dropped but he stayed close. "I really do need to check in with them, though. They're probably seconds away from filing a missing person's report."
Dean studied me for another few moments, the smile fading from his face. He stepped up to me, close enough now that I could catch the familiar mint-and-musk scent. He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear, hand curling with it down my neck.
"Really, though. You gonna be okay for tonight?"
I took a deep breath and let myself think of an honest answer. My heart still ached and my mind was still burning with the chaos of a hundred emotions, unanswered questions, and hints of self-hatred that I had a feeling wouldn't be fading any time soon.
Though I was still caught in a chaotic sea of my clashing emotions and aching, unanswered questions, I wasn't drowning like I'd been earlier. Dean had pulled me to the surface, and for now at least, I could keep my head above the water.
"I'll be okay," I promised, reaching out and taking his hand to give a small squeeze. In response, he pulled his hand free, and then wrapped his arm around my shoulders, tucking me to his chest. I hugged him tight as I could, taking a deep breath as he pressed his lips to the top of my head.
We pulled apart silently and Dean headed back the way he'd come, pausing just before he turned the corner to give me a parting smile. I smiled back, arms wrapping around myself as he disappeared from view.
"I don't think she's telling us the truth," Brie hissed from the bed behind me. Bryan let out a sigh as I held perfectly still, pretending to sleep. "Why would she have ignored all our calls if she really was just outside the whole time?"
"She said she wanted to be alone," he tried again; they'd been going back and forth for a while now. "If you really don't believe her, let's just talk to her in the morning."
"If she lied about it already, why would she tell us the truth twelve hours later?"
"I have no idea, Brie. I just want to go to sleep."
She made a noise of disbelief and Bryan shushed her, both thinking they were on the verge of waking me up. I rolled my eyes.
"You're telling me you're not worried about Jamie at all? She disappears, she's MIA for hours, and then just reappears and everything's okay?"
"Of course I'm worried. But we both know her, Brianna. She keeps things to herself and no amount of interrogation gets through to her. Right now, she's physically okay and she's ten feet to our left. We usually don't get both those things, so I'm considering everything okay for tonight."
"But she was obviously crying! If she's hurting, Bryan, I don't want to leave her alone. I want to know what's wrong so we can fix it!"
The puddle of guilt I'd been sitting in since I'd found my friends at the arena grew a little deeper. They'd been running themselves ragged searching the arena for me; even John, who'd just won the Rumble, was searching for me.
And once I did reappear, all of them wanted to know what was going on. Instead of opening up like I should have, instead of telling them all the truth and finally dropping the weight of my secrets, I'd stayed quiet.
Thankfully, Nikki had been coaxed to go celebrate John's victory. She'd been insisting on staying with us tonight, but Brie and Bryan had managed to keep her from ruining her night. At least I didn't have that on my conscience too.
No, I'd dealt with Brie and Bryan passively trying to dig into my sullen, quiet self on the ride to the hotel. To try and keep them from totally freaking out, I'd forced down half a grilled cheese and a few spoonfuls of tomato soup. Though I'd been starving earlier, I'd lost my appetite and the bit of dinner I'd had sat heavily in my stomach, adding to my nausea.
"We're right here with her, Brie. If Jamie needs us, she knows we're right here, ready to talk. That we're always here for her, no matter what."
My shallow breathing shivered to a stop. For just a few moments, I got the feeling he knew I was awake. The words he said settled over me; I squeezed my eyes shut, holding back the sob stuck in my throat. As bad as I wanted to talk, to open up and break down, I just... I couldn't. Not yet.
Talking to Dean was one thing. He knew the whole story, he hadn't had any questions or accusations. I hadn't hid a relationship from him for months. I mean sure, I was technically an adult and I didn't owe anything to anyone. Except Brie and Bryan and Nikki – even John – they were my family. They'd be hurt I hadn't trusted them with a big aspect of my life, and I couldn't blame them.
I just couldn't come clean, though. So I stayed quiet, kept my back turned as I cried silently into my pillow.
From: Randy
Hey baby. You excited for our match?
Even now, twelve hours later, the text still made me sick at the very thought. In just ten minutes, I'd have to be face-to-face with the one person I never wanted to see again. What choices did I have? Vickie would never cancel the match that had somehow become the main event.
What I should have done was find Randy the second I got here and confronted him. There was no way he would've wanted to keep the match and he could've gone to Hunter to get it stopped. I certainly didn't have that pull around here, and now I was shit outta luck.
What did I do? Go hide away again? No way my friends would buy another excuse, and then I'd have them and Randy hunting me down and demanding answers. There was no way that was gonna end well.
So I did what I knew; I wrapped my wrists slowly as I got ready for my match. Brie and Bryan were still whisper-debating about how to handle me. John, thankfully, was off at catering talking about his win from last night. Nicole, however, hadn't left my side.
Even now she was curled on the couch, idly watching the show as she finished up my nails. I'd tried to get out of our bonding activity, but that had just made her more suspicious. I'd insisted on plain black nails to try and make it as quick as possible, but she'd been dragging this out for almost half an hour.
"What does Dean think about the match tonight?" she asked; I rolled my shoulders in a simply shrug. She'd been asking me questions all day, trying to get a reaction out of me. She knew something was wrong, and now she was going to figure out what. Thankfully, she was mostly convinced it was something with Dean (like it had been the last time I'd been a total emotional wreck) and hadn't even brushed over Randy. Yet.
"I haven't talked to him about it."
"Why not?"
I gave her a look, trying to settle her interrogation. "Because I haven't seen him. As you know, since you haven't left me."
"You could've texted him," she pointed out; I rolled my eyes.
"Why would I text him asking him what he thinks about a match he's not in?"
She narrowed her eyes just a hint as she leaned closer.
"Why wouldn't you text him?"
"Just to give you something to wonder about," I sighed, patting her leg as I got to my feet, shaking my nails to try and dry them the rest of the way. "If you don't mind, I've got a match."
"We'll pick this up when you get back," she threatened; I caught her eyeing my duffel as I headed out of the locker room. I was so glad I'd left my phone in the SUV, safe from any snooping Bella's.
Somehow in the locker room, I'd convinced myself I could get through this match. All I had to do was wrestle for a few minutes and then I could go backstage with Randy, confront him, and be done with this forever.
Except the second his eyes locked on me when I came around the corner, the little confidence I built up was shaken. All the emotions I'd been going through since last night surged forward and it took all my self-restraint to keep from breaking down instantly.
"It's about time. I've been calling you all night," he started in exasperation. He went to continue when he caught the expression on my face. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Out in the crowd I heard Shield's music start up; it was just enough to shake me out of my painful paralysis. Just get through the next ten minutes, Jamie. Instead of breaking, I swallowed everything back down and said quietly,
"Just worried about the match."
"Hey, hey. Don't be. I'm gonna be right there with you," he soothed, reaching for me; disgust churned my stomach and I may have actually grimaced as I shrunk away from his touch. "Jamie. You sure that's all it is?"
The stage manager was looking around for us; for once the universe seemed to be on my side. He caught my eye and beckoned us over, so I ducked past Randy and did my best not to run as I called back to him,
"We're up."
He didn't have time to question my behavior; I nodded at the sound tech and jogged up the steps of gorilla as my music started. I danced out onto stage as cheerfully as I could and forced a smile, trying to play that everything was okay. My eyes locked onto the men at ringside and oddly enough, a sense of reassurance settled over me. They knew exactly what was going on and right now, I wasn't alone.
Dean caught my gaze and gave me a brief, reassuring smile before his customary smirk settled into place. That was enough to keep me settled as Randy's music cut into my own. I forced myself to stay at the top of the ramp until he came out, but started down to the ring before he could reach my side.
Of course, Randy had to go strike his pose in the opposite corner; I got up onto the apron and took a few deep breaths to settle my nerves. You can do this Jamie. You can do this. As Randy hopped down and made for our corner, I caught Dean staring up at me from ringside. He gave a small nod of assurance. When I met Roman and Seth's eyes, they both did the same thing. You're not alone. You can do this.
"I'll start," I told Randy briskly, stepping through the ropes and keeping my back to him. I couldn't look at him, could barely stand to be near him right now. He didn't argue, letting me take lead as the bell rang. Seth was first into the ring with me. The two of us locked up instantly, and for the first time I was actually in a fair one-on-one matchup with him.
Though he was taller and still weighed more, the two of us were similar in wrestling style. He was a high-flyer, and that's what I was working to become. Our moves were strikingly similar and even just a few minutes in, it was clear we were evenly matched. For those few minutes grappling with him for the one-up, my mind was off of everything else going on. It was just Seth and I wrestling in the ring. Nothing else mattered -
"Let's go, Jay! You got this!" Randy called to me as Seth dropped me to the mat; disgust shivered through me and Seth caught my expression.
"You okay?" he asked, eyes flicking up to Randy; I gave a quick nod as I slipped out from under him. I was okay, I just needed to focus. Ignore Randy, wrestle as best I could, get this damn match over with. But the longer I was in the ring, the louder he got. He even started up a 'Let's go Lawless' chant and led it excitedly.
Every time he said my name, every time I accidently caught his eye and got a smile from him my resolve cracked a bit more. I couldn't pretend he wasn't there; I couldn't shut him out and it was breaking me down.
I tried to turn and get Seth into my submission move just as Randy called, "that's my girl!". I choked on a sob and lost my balance, letting Seth shove me aside. Curled over on my hands and knees, I squeezed my eyes shut trying to keep the tears at bay.
Seth's arms looped around me and I was hauled up, then tossed – surprisingly gently – into Shield's corner. Roman reached out and held my arms back, keeping me in place as Seth crowded over me to hide my face from the crowd.
Seconds later, Dean was on the apron at my side. They played it off as roughing me up as Dean breathed,
"You good, darlin'?"
"No," I panicked, my bottom lip trembling. "I thought I... I can't. I can't do this."
"Knee me in the stomach, tag him in," Seth said quickly, and shifted subtly so I could move. I did what he said without question; the second I kneed him, he let out a shout and slumped to the side, pretending to knock into Roman so the big guy had an excuse to let me go.
I surged forward and rushed to my own corner as Seth tagged in Roman; Randy held his hand out and I slapped it fast as I could. As I ducked to the apron, he brushed his hand down my arm and leaned closer to whisper,
"Looked good out there, baby. Glad this is all mine."
Repulsed anguish surged through me so powerfully that if I hadn't been holding the top rope I would've fallen off the apron. He seriously had the nerve to say something like that to me after he'd been all over someone else? Was this just a game to him?
Did I mean anything to him?
The answer that I'd come to last night resurfaced again – he didn't respect me. He didn't care about hurting me. If he did, he never would've cheated on me in the first place.
Understanding all this out on the apron was not what I needed. Tears were pricking my eyes, my chest was tight and I felt another sob catching in my throat. Every time he threw me a quick smile or a surreptitious wink my heart twisted more and more.
I couldn't do this. I couldn't pretend like everything was okay. I had to get out of here. I took a shaking breath and my blurry, tearful eyes met Dean's across the ring. My lip trembled, and gave a small shake of my head.
Randy, having just shoved out of Roman's hold, came stumbling across the mat for a tag.
Dean gave me a single, understanding nod and his eyes flicked to the ramp. Get outta here.
Randy reached out to me and I let go of the top rope, hopping off the apron and refusing the tag. He slumped against the turnbuckle and gaped at me in disbelief.
"Jay! What the hell!?"
I glared up at him for a heartbeat, letting all my anger and pain pour out at him. He moved to duck through the ropes and come after me, and then Dean was behind him. He grabbed Randy's arm, spun him on the spot, and punched him square in the face.
The laugh that left me was unexpected. As Randy reeled, Dean whipped him forward into Roman, who caught him easily and threw him to the mat. The Shield jumped him just as I turned and surged up the ramp.
Tears were already pouring down my face; the crowd was deafening with their booing, but I couldn't worry about that now. The second I got backstage I was swarmed by Bryan and the twins.
"Jamie what the hell are you -"
"Are you crying? She's crying," Brie cut in, putting the brakes on her boyfriend's fury. Nikki's arms wrapped around me, towing me quickly through the halls. Other superstars who had just witnessed my actions shouted after me as we passed. This looked exactly like I'd just turned on Randy, sided with the Shield for an ambush.
I hadn't meant for this to happen, but all things considered it made me feel marginally better thinking about Randy getting pummeled in the ring. I was ushered quickly into the locker room that Bryan and John shared. Super Cena himself was pacing around the benches, turning to us the second the door shut.
"You need to tell us what the hell is going on," he started, fury softening just a hint when he saw my tears. "Jamie. Talk to us."
"What on earth made you leave Randy to the Shield?" Bryan pressed; Nikki tried to pull me to a bench but I shook her off. I had to think of something to tell them. I'd been so stupid, chickening out. How was I going to cover this up? How the hell was I gonna pretend I was okay now?
The answer was simple: I couldn't. Not anymore.
Relief swept through me the second I realized my charades were over. I was so tired. I didn't want to lie anymore, I didn't want to fight. I didn't want to hide from them. I wanted to turn to them like I'd turned to Dean last night. They were my family, they were here to help me through shit like this and it was about time I gave them the chance.
"I thought – I tried to get through the match and pretend things were okay. But I - I can't. They're not," I said quickly, voice breaking as I finally opened up after months of staying quiet.
"You can tell us, Jamie," Nikki promised, coming up to me again and resting a hand on my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut, reveling in my best friends reassurance. "What happened?"
I opened my eyes and looked around at everyone staring down at me. The anger in Bryan and John had faded, and now they looked as concerned as the twins. My family was with me now, ready to help me face what I'd been trying to run from.
"Randy cheated on me."
Saying the words out loud, finally letting them all into the secret I'd been keeping broke me down the rest of the way. The sob I'd been fighting broke free; I buried my face in my hands as I cried. Nikki's arms instantly encircled me and held me tight.
"You're dating Randy Orton?!" Bryan actually screeched; I sunk deeper into Nikki's protective hold. To my surprise, Brie was the one to snap,
"Yes, Bryan, I think that was implied!"
"How the hell long have you been dating Randy Orton?!" he demanded as Nikki pulled us down onto one of the benches. I peeked up over her arm to meet his angry gaze.
"A - a few months -"
"Months?!"
"When were you planning on telling us?" John cut in now.
"You've been dating a guy twice your age for months -"
I sunk away from their anger and turned into my best friend again. Her arms tightened as she said pointedly to Brie,
"Why don't you guys go get us some dinner? We'll meet you at the hotel."
The men began to object, but Brie cut them down instantly. In just a few minutes, the bags had been gathered and they were marching out into the hall. I felt Brie's hand slide over my back as she leaned into a hug. Her lips pressed gently against my temple as she murmured,
"Don't worry about them, they're just caught off guard. I'll take care of them."
"Thank you," I whispered, sniffing as I looked up at her. She gave me a gentle smile and wiped a few tears away.
"Of course Jamie. I love you."
"I love you too," I promised softly; as the door finally shut, Nikki kissed my other temple. We sat in silence for a few moments, but I could feel her curiosity and concern. I finally pulled back enough to look up at her. She gave me a pointed look and said softly,
"I think we need to talk."
Dean
Randy's blood dripped off Dean's knuckles.
He wiped them carelessly on his pants as he all but rushed through the halls, lookin' for the only thing that was more important than breaking Orton's face.
Finch.
Roman and Seth were behind him somewhere, but he didn't wanna wait for them. He had to make sure she was okay. He had to. But the Diva's locker room was empty; so far the break room and the medic's office had been too. He knew her friends. No way she'd gotten back here an' gotten away from 'em this time.
So where the hell were they?
He'd just started down a back hall, headed for the parking garage thinkin' they were already tryin' t'leave when he heard a familiar voice say softly,
"Did you have any idea he was cheating?"
Wonder Twin. He skid to a stop backtracked to the door he'd just passed. It was open just a crack, enough for him to peer in and catch a glimpse. Wonder Twin was sitting on the ground, up against the wall, with Finch curled in her lap, crying against her chest. His heart twisted.
"N-no," Finch whimpered, and his heart twisted even more. She was devastated. "He just... I knew I wasn't dressing like he wanted, doing what he wanted... but I never thought – he said I was worth waitng for -"
A sob tore outta his girl, and Dean dropped back against the wall, eyes squeezin' shut. This was his fuckin' fault. He'd been up all night dealin' with the guilt, knowin' he was the one who put her in this situation. He'd pushed her away, he'd pushed her right into Orton's slimy arms. If he hadn't been so goddamn stupid -
He felt someone at his side and his eyes snapped open; he relaxed just a hint, seein' Seth and Roman. His brothers shared a knowing look with him as Finch's crying echoed down the hall. Instead of heading back, though, they both sat across from him. They were with him - with Finch – an' he couldn't thank them enough for having her back too.
"Hey, shh. He was stupid not to see that, Jamie, and you can't blame yourself for his unhappiness," Wonder Twin murmured; Dean watched her hug Finch a little closer as she ran a hand up and down her back. Dean found himself likin' the twin more and more. "You are worth waiting for. Just because he didn't get into your pants -"
"Nikki..."
At the tone of her voice, Dean's eyes locked onto Finch. She had pulled away from her best friend just a hint, and was looking up with a devastated expression. Dean's stomach dropped.
"Wait. Jay... You ... Did you guys..."
No.
She had to say no.
Dean was tense, barely breathing, eyes locked on the only thing that mattered to him. He wasn't a man of prayers, but shit if he wasn't doin' it now... He knew, though. Knew what that look on her face meant.
"He told me he loved me," she whispered; Dean's heart slammed to a stop. "And I believed him. I... I should never have... but I did.
His whole body went numb as her words raced through his head. Orton... that fucker had slept with his girl. Tricked her into giving herself up to him, sayin' he loved her when he was runnin' around with another bitch behind her back. That disgusting son of a bitch had -
Dean shoved off the wall, gripping his hair in furious frustration, breath coming in ragged gasps.
He'd done this.
He'd pushed her right into the worst thing that could have happened to her.
She'd been holding back, and he'd made her give in. He'd been fuckin' cheating on her for fuck knows how long, lyin', usin' her... If Dean hadn't pushed her away, this never would have happened. If Dean had just fuckin' kissed her back, if he'd shown her how much she fuckin' meant when he should've -
Seth and Roman were on their feet, trying to calm him down. Dean ripped out of their hold and shoved them aside, stalking down the hall, body burning with white-hot anger, vision tinting red. Just like the smears'a blood dried on his hands. He was gonna rip Orton into pieces. He was gonna fuckin' destroy that son of a -
"Dean?"
He came to an instant halt, whipping around to lock eyes with Finch.
She was leaning out of the doorway, tears still streaking down her face, starin' up at him in surprise. With all she was goin' through, somehow she looked relieved to see him there. He turned slowly, still shaking, still set on killing Orton. But he couldn't walk away from his girl. She stepped into the hall, Wonder Twin right behind her, bottom lip trembling as she took a breath.
"I - I'm sorry about all that with the match," she whispered, voice breaking at the end. His heart fuckin' twisted; she really think he gave a shit about that? "I was trying to get through it but I - I couldn't tag him and - and I just-"
"S'okay," he managed; he wanted to say so much more but he could barely breath. Barely think straight. Barely stand still. He wanted to stay and comfort his girl, but his anger wouldn't let him.
He was a live wire, sparking every goddamn time he thought of Orton. He couldn't just stand here while that sick fucker was gettin' away with the shit he'd pulled on Finch. On his girl. He turned again, mind set on finding Orton before he fucking exploded.
A hand caught his wrist, and turned him back around. Before Dean could react, Finch wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his vest.
His anger melted instantly. All the rage, all the murder and the pure fuckin' hatred tearing through him extinguished instantly as she hugged him; the gentle rainstorm to his burning fury.
He acted on instinct, wrapping his arms tight around her shoulders, tucking her to him. He didn't care how sappy he looked. Didn't care that Wonder Twin and his boys were seeing this side of him. All that mattered was Finch.
His girl.
She let out another sob and clung even tighter to him, shaking as she cried. Dean bent lower and hugged her tighter, resting his cheek on her head and running his hands up and down her arms to comfort her as best he could.
He'd royally fucked up. He'd made the biggest mistake of his life, and the person he cared about most had paid a terrible goddamn price for it. He wasn't lettin' her go. Not now, not ever. He wasn't lettin' anyone else hurt his girl.
Okay, who else is totally excited Dean's back?! AND DID Y'ALL SEE HOW BIG THOSE ARMS ARE?! His brand new muscles definitely helped break me out of my writers block. So at least this update didn't take five months... heh...
As always, thank you guys SO MUCH for your support. I love hearing your thoughts and getting your feedback. It really does help motivate me to write, and I'm always open to criticism and suggestions! With that in mind, please let me know what you thought of this chapter - and what you think about Jamie, Randy, and Dean!
Again, in case y'all missed it before, you can follow Canary and the Coal Mine stuff on tumblr and Twitter (info on my page)! Find Jamie's outfits, her move set, and more!