Smutty dialogue warning!

a/n- I wrote this after hearing the Citrus PV and liking Yuzu's voice. A lot.

"So… do you guys know how to.. uh…" Yuzu's voice gradually wound down to an embarrassed whisper along with her posture, shrinking down in her seat. Her next words were nigh unintelligible, her face going red in a tell-tale sign that this was going to be somehow related to Mei. "How to talk dirty?"

Across the table from her, Matsuri removed her headphones and looked up from her phone as if she'd been waiting for a topic such as this to arise. "Dirty words? You mean like 'shit', fuck', 'p—"

Harumi reached over and placed Matsuri's headphones over her ears again.

"Are you seriously asking what I think you're asking?" Harumi asked, pointedly ignoring Matsuri's annoyed look.

Yuzu sunk so low in her seat she was practically slipping off of it. "Yeah."

Matsuri leaned forward, eyes bright. "Please do tell what brought this on!"

Harumi leaned back in her seat, looking at Yuzu in expectation. "Oh boy. C'mon, lets hear it!"

Yuzu sighed and dragged herself into a proper posture, eyes darting around the restaurant to make sure there were no listening ears around them. She leaned forward and dropped her voice to explain. "It's just that… Mei is always randomly saying stuff and it's weird!"

"What kind of… stuff?" Harumi asked, brow raised. Matsuri sipped from her straw happily.

Yuzu blushed and looked off to the side. "Well…"

Yuzu was standing at the sink, doing dishes and generally minding her own business. That is, until Mei came up from behind her, silent as a ghost, and scared the ever living daylight out of Yuzu when her fingers trailed up her bare arms. "Mei! You scared me." Yuzu laughed nervously, jumpy when Mei was in close proximity.

"Sorry," Mei murmured, pressing close to Yuzu. "I just wanted to let you know something."

"Hm? What is it?" the blonde asked curiously.

Mei leaned forward so that her mouth was right next to Yuzu's ear and proceeded to whisper. Yuzu's eyes widened as the whispered words traveled right into her ear and straight down through the rest of her body, making the blood rush to her face. Mei kept speaking low in that misty voice of hers until Yuzu dropped the dish in her hands with a loud clatter. Mei finished up whatever she was saying by blowing lightly across Yuzu's ear, making her shiver, and then stepping away.

"That was it. Goodnight, Yuzu," Mei said, face or voice not giving away the fact that she had said quite a few naughty things to Yuzu just now.

Yuzu stared after her, whole body quivering. "Wait, what?"

Matsuri nearly spit out her drink, she was laughing so hard. "Wow, what is she, a hit and run specialist?" the short girl giggled at the tactics of her ex-rival.

Harumi just looked very bewildered. "Hold up, I don't get the deep sea diver part of what she said. And did she really use Pompeii imagery? And what do dolphins have to do with anything? Does that even qualify as dirty talk?"

"It did when she said it," Yuzu answered, a hand covering her face as she recalled the incident that made her hot under the collar. Honestly, half the things Mei described didn't even make any sense, but it was still hot for some reason. "And she just keeps teasing me! So I need to get her back." Yuzu looked at them with determination. "I need to get her back good."

"I am all for this," Matsuri said with a devious grin, lifting her hand for a high-five that Yuzu returned with a bit less enthusiasm.

Harumi shook her head with a frown. "I don't know. Do you really wanna do this, Yuzu? I value your innoce-"

"It's been my dream to filth you up, Yuzu-chan!" Matsuri cut in, sounding truly happy. Harumi face-palmed.

"I'm just tired of her always having the upper hand when it comes to this stuff. I need to match her somehow," Yuzu said, visibly frustrated.

Harumi sighed. "Well, I guess I can't leave my best friend feeling like that. Let's see what you got."

Yuzu blinked. "What I've got?"

"Show us your nasty side," Matsuri purred with a little smirk. Both Harumi and Matsuri looked at her like they were asking for Yuzu's favorite ice cream flavor, and the blonde glanced between them nervously.

"When did you two start hanging out anyway?" she asked, trying to deflect expectations while also genuinely curious.

"We're not," Harumi answered with narrowed offended eyes. Next to her, Matsuri sent Yuzu a saucy wink as a reply.

Yuzu tilted her head in even more confusion, before sighing and accepting the situation as is. They seemed to be getting along in their own way. "Alright. So… what do I say?"

Harumi hummed in consideration. "I guess you could just say what you'd like to do to Mei?" Matsuri nodded in concurrence.

Yuzu's face went red all over again. "Ah… Okay. Now?"

"Now," Matsuri demanded, kicking her feet.

Yuzu self consciously glanced around the restaurant once again. Not altogether reassured at their privacy, but determined to go ahead anyway, Yuzu hesitantly spoke. "I uh… I want to…hold hands… and make her smile..?"

"Booooo," Matsuri looked less than impressed. "Too pure."

Harumi winced. "It was a little tame, Yuzu-chi."

Yuzu's forehead hit the surface of the table. "I'm hopeless."

"Now, now, don't give up so easily," Harumi said in a motherly voice as she reached over the table and patted Yuzu's head reassuringly.

Yuzu lifted her head. "There's no way I'm gonna give up." She sat up straighter and placed her hands on the table. "I'll make Mei blush if it's the last thing I do!"

"That's the spirit!" Harumi smiled proudly at her.

"You're going to have to step up your game if you wanna make dead fish face blush," Matsuri critiqued. "Take it from me, I'm an expert at this stuff. I'll give you a few pointers!" She picked up a spoon from the table and held it up in front of her face. "What is this?"

Yuzu raised an eyebrow, wondering where Matsuri was going with this. "A spoon."

"Say it again."

"A spoon…?"

"Say it like you mean it."

Yuzu looked a bit irked but listened to her younger sister. "Spoon."

"Good," Matsuri put down the spoon. "Now say the word 'pussy'," she instructed with a completely straight face.

Yuzu jaw dropped open in shock at the word. "That leveled up really fast!"

"C'mon, Yuzu-chan," Matsuri goaded in a saccharine voice. "Say 'pussy' for me~"

Yuzu couldn't help but balk at that, but Harumi intervened with a face that was a strange mixture of patience and annoyance. "I think what Matsuri is trying to accomplish, but is failing miserably at," she shot a glare in the short girl's direction, "is teaching you to say certain words more naturally."

"I was not failing miserably, I'll have you know my ways are very effective," Matsuri said all too proudly.

"Point is, you have to own up to what you're saying," Harumi explained.

"Yup. Quit being a blushing virgin and bring out your inner sex fiend," Matsuri commented devilishly.

Harumi nodded in agreement. "Put all those dirty yuri manga you read to good use."

"Okay! I get it, " Yuzu mumbled uncomfortably. She opened and closed her mouth several times until the word reuctantly tumbled out. "P-pussy…"

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that?" Matsuri brought her hand up to her ear and leaned forward.

Yuzu squirmed in place. "Pou…ssey."

"No accent à droite, " Harumi couldn't help but tease.

Yuzu grit her teeth and her eyebrows furrowed in extreme concentration. Her voice increased in volume, but sacrificed some steadiness. "P-pussy!?"

"Say it like you wanna put your face in it!"

"Pussy!"

"C'mon, its the best pussy in the world, get in there!" Matsuri looked like she was having the best day of her life, practically standing up as she drilled Yuzu.

"PUSSY!"

There was a smattering of encouraging cheers from other booths in the restaurant, making Yuzu's head nearly explode from the blood rushing upwards.

Harumi bit back a laugh and raised her hand to signal the waitress for more dessert. "I have a feeling this is going to take a while."

— Two Hours Later—

"How was that?" Yuzu asked, breathing a little heavily. Her two best friends sitting across from her were staring at Yuzu with faces the color of beets.

"Um," Harumi cleared her dry throat. "That was pretty good," she praised while not quite looking Yuzu in the eyes.

"I recorded that on my phone," Matsuri said, fanning herself. "I could seriously make so much money off of this."

"Matsuri," Yuzu growled at her warningly, making Matsuri shiver in delight.

"Relax, I'm out of the biz. Besides, this is totally for private use."

Harumi mentally noted to casually ask Matsuri for the recording later.

Yuzu rubbed the back of her neck, mentally exhausted. "Stop messing with me, guys. Really, was I at least convincing?"

Harumi and Matsuri glanced at each other, their faces still slightly flushed by what they just heard coming out of Yuzu's mouth.

"Onee-chan, have I ever lied to you?" Matsuri asked, her perfectly cherub face sincere.

Yuzu blinked at the question. "Not as far as I know?"

Harumi scoffed quietly but kept her opinionated comments to herself.

Matsuri smiled at that. "Then believe me when I say that you've got a bullet in your gun that you don't even realize you have. Now you gotta go shoot Mei with it." She made a small finger gun with her small hand and pointed it at Yuzu.

The effect was ruined when Harumi reached over and messed up her already adorably disheveled hair. "Horrible imagery aside," Harumin said as she forcefully pulled Matsuri's hood over her head to stop the girl from running her mouth. "I think you're ready."

Yuzu slowly smiled at the pair, confidence lighting her eyes. "Yeah? Thank you, I couldn't have done it without you guys!"

"It was our pleasure," Matsuri said, smirking. "Seriously."

"Well, I should get going," Yuzu said, gathering her things. "I know exactly what I have to do now."

Harumi sent her off with a friendly grin and wave. "See you later, lady killer."

"Bye!" Matsuri chimed in as Yuzu left, waving thankfully a them.

Then she was gone and it was just the two of them. Alone. Harumi crossed her legs and grit her teeth in preparation of… well, Matsuri.

"So," Matsuri's voice was as sly as ever. "That left me all hot and bothered. What about you?"

Harumi's eyebrow twitched in annoyance, a warning smile on her face. "Get your hand off my thigh, Munchkinlander."

Matsuri slowly raised her hands over the table, her tongue in her cheek. "I guess that answers my question."

"Okay, for our final order of business, could you report the progression of the student council on the matters we previously discussed, Ms. Aihara?" an old teacher clucked in a bored tone. The table of weary teachers turned to the one student sitting at the table, hoping she would be quick so that they could go home.

Mei stood up from her chair with the polite grace of someone who was no stranger to these types of meetings. "It's been going smoothly so far. We only need a few more forms before we can proceed with the event."

There was a light knock on the door that interrupted her. The teachers collectively sighed, hoping whoever it was would open the door for them so that one of them wouldn't have to get up. After a moment the door tentatively opened and a blonde head poked inside, flashing a disarming smile.

"Yo," Yuzu greeted with a small salute at the teachers. "Sorry to interrupt. Could I borrow the president for a sec?"

One of the teachers simply grunted. "Make it quick, and stay in the room, please."

"Yuzu, what are you doing?" Mei asked in concern.

"Relax, just a message from our teacher, that's all," Yuzu explained as she pulled Mei to a corner of the room, the teacher's weary eyes on them.

"Take your time," one of them droned sarcastically. Someone in the room snored.

"Well, what is it?" Mei asked once again, her own impatience leaking into her voice. Yuzu leaned over to speak quietly, making sure she spoke into the ear facing away from the group of adults.

"Baby, if I could have my way with you right now, your panties would be around your ankles and my tongue would be buried deep inside your wet throbbing pussy," Yuzu whispered, hot breath washing over Mei's ear.

Mei didn't even react at first. It was so surreal that she was hearing these words spoken in Yuzu's voice she automatically assumed she was dreaming. She hadn't even known she was capable of dreaming up such a ridiculous scenario such as Yuzu having the guts to do this in front of the entire staff of teachers-

"I want you so bad," Yuzu cooed, voice dropping an octave lower than normal, making Mei instantly come to attention. Shit, this wasn't a dream. "But I'd still make you beg for it. And when you do, I'm going to make you come so hard." Her voice was rough and thick with promise. "Over and over…."

Her heart started beating so hard, it was almost hard to hear Yuzu over the excited thumping in her ears. Mei glanced over at the teachers a few feet away from them, eyes uncharacteristically wide, before glancing back straight ahead of her, swallowing with difficulty. "Yuzu, what are you..?"

"When I leave here, I'm going back home. And I'm going to lie in our bed, and I'm going to touch myself." Mei's intake of breath was a little more audible than she prefered, her eyes fluttering against her will at the information. God, Yuzu wasn't even touching her and yet it felt like her voice was trailing down Mei's body like rich honey.

Yuzu's nose nudged lightly against her ear and Mei's lips parted. "I'm going to be thinking about your fingers… and the way you fuck me." The last couple of words were slowly dragged through Yuzu's sweetest, sexiest tone. "I'm wet just thinking about it." She then used her teeth to lightly grasp and give a tug to Mei's ear, making the younger girl shudder and unconsciously grab Yuzu's arm.

Yuzu pulled back, a blush on her face, but a satisfied smile playing on her lips. She glanced at the grasp Mei had on her arm and the dark haired girl let go in an instant, flushed.

Yuzu coughed, speaking loudly for the room once again. "So yeah, that's all the teacher wanted you to know. Again, sorry to interrupt. Really important stuff."

Mei glared at her older sister all the way out of her room, saying under her breath, "Better not have been a message from a goddamn teacher." She should've been furious at the other girl. Not furiously turned on.

With horror she saw that the teacher that had been sitting nearest to them was red in the face and trying his best not to look at her.

Mei cleared her throat, trying her best to recover, (and trying to remember what the hell she had been saying to these people.) Mei delivered the rest of her report swiftly. Most of her mind was abuzz, wondering of what awaited her at home, and all the revenge she was owed due to this stunt.

Down the hall from this meeting, Yuzu's exit went from confident strut to newborn calf in the span of a few moments. She leaned on the nearest wall, panting and flushed from the rush of doing something that stupid. She took several deep breaths to gather herself and grinned as widely as her mouth would allow. She had made Mei blush!

Pushing off the wall, she hurried home, fully intent on doing what she had said she'd do. She hoped it was all Mei would be imagining during that meeting.

It was.

(A/N- Also, Shikuro-kun wrote an awesome tie-in story for the previous "Matsuri Wins" chapters in chapter 11 of their fic, Citrus: Fresh Squeezed. Check it out!)