Chapter 9 – A Face in the Crowd
One morning, as Ciel once again got to work on the components for X's new body, Phantom stepped into the workshop.
"I have made up my mind." he said.
"Meaning?" Zero asked from his spot, leaning against a wall as he watched Ciel work.
"The immediate safety of this place is assured, and this reconstruction will likely take a few more months with the current resources at hand." Phantom clarified. "I cannot remain idle for that long."
"So what do you have in mind?" Ciel asked, momentarily lifting her gaze away from the workbench.
"Tracking down the others, for a start." Phantom said. "As I mentioned before, they may not want to be found, which means the longer we delay, the more difficult it may be to find them."
"You're in no condition to run off on your own." Zero pointed out. "At least let me get Cerveau to-"
"Unlock the crude Buster mounted in this frame?" Phantom cut him off. "I have no need for it."
"So you knew?" Zero asked.
"I was one of the Four Guardians, after all." Phantom said. "While we found the Pantheon rather distasteful in their crude mindlessness, they had their uses. Only a fool uses a weapon without knowing its capabilities."
"Then why didn't you say anything?" Zero asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Because asking for access to weapons when you have only just begun trying to earn someone's trust is a great way to arouse suspicion?" Phantom pointed out. "In fact, I was tempted to sever this frame's Buster arm just to make sure that there was no room for pointless misunderstandings… but that would have been ungrateful of me and would have diminished my usefulness further."
"You really are crazy..." Zero said, shaking his head. "Giving yourself a handicap like that when you're already in a throwaway body?"
"While I admit that this body is… somewhat limited..." Phantom conceded. "It is also easy to replace if anything happens. Furthermore, I still have my stealth and scouting skills and this region is mostly tranquil now. If all goes well, I should have no need to engage in combat at all."
"And what happens if you run into trouble in the wilderness or in some ruin?" Ciel pointed out.
"Should the worst come to pass, I can simply discard this shell and return here." Phantom said dismissively.
"On one condition." X said as he stepped into the building. "Well, two. The first is that you take a radio in case something happens."
"And the second?" Phantom asked.
"Don't do anything too crazy." X said evenly.
The faintest semblance of a grin crept over the Guardian's face.
"I cannot make any promises in that regard, given who I was based on."
"But..." Ciel interjected.
"Make no mistake." Phantom said. "I have no desire to be trapped in an incorporeal state again. Hopefully that will not happen seeing how Master X saw fit to share some of his knowledge with me."
"I thought I'd told you not to call me that." X grumbled, rolling his eyes.
"Yet… I will never be your equal." Phantom said, again surprising the others. "My original body was masterfully crafted and I have no doubt the new one will be at least as impressive… but I still lack something you and Zero possess."
"What are you talking about?" Ciel asked. "I did not intentionally limit the Guardians in any way."
"No, you did not." Phantom said somberly. "What we became was our responsibility, for better and for worse. Perhaps there are minuscule variations in our personality cores that contributed to the end result, but the choices were ours. Until I can determine what I lack… I will never come close to the pinnacle these two stand at."
"I guess that copy was not the only one with identity and self-worth issues." X pondered, confirming what he had already suspected for some time.
Much like humans had done in prior centuries before X's awakening provided the template from which all other Reploids emerged, the subject of the soul had been endlessly debated among organic and synthetic alike. In the case of Reploids, the personality core housed the processors and other systems that formed and solidified their sense of self, their memories and other faculties that made them so close to humans in function as well as form. It was commonly held that as machines, Reploids had no souls, yet there were countless cases where some remnant of their personality had lingered after the destruction of their physical bodies. The infamous Sigma was one such example, alongside X and Phantom.
"I guess there's no way to talk you out of this then?" Ciel asked.
"I need to make myself useful." Phantom said. "I have not forgotten what you said about making amends, but completing this task will help in that regard. Besides… I must admit… it's been far too long since..."
"You miss them." Ciel said, reading his intent despite the blank expression he insisted on presenting.
"I… suppose I do." Phantom conceded, somewhat surprised.
Ciel sighed, then got up, before picking up a small portable two way radio with a carry on strap from a nearby storage closet and handing it to him.
"Do what you need to do." she said. "Just come back in one piece and call if anything goes wrong."
"I… thank you..." he managed to say, at a loss for words, before accepting the radio and wrapping the strap around his arm.
Phantom looked around one last time, then turned away.
"I will… inform you as soon as there is something to report."
And with that, he left.
The truth of the matter was, Phantom had always defined his sense of worth by his ability to fulfill his duty. The humiliation brought about by his defeat at Zero's hands had shattered that notion, driving him to destroy his own physical body in an impulsive attempt to avenge his wounded pride. That, in his mind, was supposed to have been the end of it. His involuntary stay in the Cyberworld and the events following it had left him unbound, free to choose a different path, but the hesitant acceptance and even kindness he had been shown still surprised him.
"Well then..." Zero said with a sigh. "That got a bit heavy. What do you say we go outside and get some fresh air?"
"That sounds like a good idea." Ciel said. "You two go on ahead. I'll join you as soon as I finish this part. Fifteen minutes at most."
"OK." Zero said with a nod. "We'll wait for you in front of my place."
And with that, X and Zero did just that, with X taking the time to stop here and there along the way to enjoy the chirping of birds. The day was quiet, tranquil, perfect. Even with his sensory capabilities diminished by the temporary form he was wearing, he relished such simple pleasures after such a long time deprived of a body and the company of those dear to him.
"So…" Zero said as they finally sat down. "Once we clear that hurdle of getting you back in gear, you're going to need a place to stay. I mean, you can keep using mine, but..."
X knew exactly what he wanted to say in reply, but he held his tongue, not wanting Ciel to overhear him. Instead he looked at the clear sky.
"It's funny." X said. "To think that we went from worrying about world ending threats to talking about simpler things such as construction and living space."
"Give it a couple of years and I guarantee things are going to start picking up speed." Zero remarked. "You know how good Ciel and Cerveau are at getting things done by now."
"I just wonder..." X said. "I wonder what our place is going to be in the new tomorrow."
Zero shrugged.
"Whatever we want it to be. I've been doing a lot of thinking about that myself. Assuming nothing else happens and that we manage to avoid being put in charge of things, we have a whole world to see again."
"There's… one thing that's been on my mind." X said.
"Just one?" Zero asked with a grin. "That's new."
"We never did find out what happened to Alia and some of the others..."
"I miss them too." Zero admitted, his expression turning serious. "But in your case, I can guess why you're thinking about her in particular."
X didn't say anything for a moment.
"Some people don't understand you." Zero added. "They thought you were too soft or too indecisive. They didn't see how hard you tried, how intensely you felt everything."
"What does that have to do with Alia?"
"It has everything to do with Alia." Zero said with a knowing smile. "You were always busting your ass, trying to make everyone happy, keep everyone safe… even if it meant neglecting yourself. I remember how you two looked at each other. But… did you ever tell her?"
"I think… she knew at some level." X said, closing his eyes.
"Damnit X..." Zero grumbled, planting the palm of his hand on his face. "Don't tell me you stayed quiet until the end."
"The opportunity kept slipping between my fingers." X said with a sigh. "Either one of us was working or too tired to talk about such serious things, or we couldn't find enough time alone without interruptions… or I was getting repaired again. After we got rid of Sigma and returned from our little road trip I had finally made up my mind to sit down and have a long talk with her."
"And then…?" Zero asked, already getting the feeling he wasn't going to like the next part.
"Then the Elf Wars started and it was back to work for all of us, remember?"
"If memory serves, Hunter HQ was wiped out right before the end of the Elf Wars…" Zero recalled. "Not long before I went under."
"Yes..." X said with a sigh. "And I never saw her again. Over the years, I tried to find out what happened to her, but… once again I got caught up trying to sort the mess and ensure the world had a future… and then I lost the use of my body after sealing the Dark Elf."
"You really are a dumbass sometimes, you know that?" Zero remarked, rolling his eyes.
X stayed silent again.
"Then again..." Zero added. "So am I."
"I don't know what I was thinking." X said, lowering his head. "I kept telling myself – one more mission and I'll talk to her. Let me just deal with this problem and I'll talk to her. I guess I was a coward."
"You were never a coward." Zero snapped. "What are you talking about?"
"I… I didn't even realize it at first." X explained. "Our lives were so full of daily insanity that it took me a long time to understand. But eventually I realized a simple truth. She meant the world to me… and the intensity of those feelings was almost terrifying. I was scared of botching it… or losing her in some random incident. Or even worse, making her a target by association."
"You mean like what happened to Iris..." Zero thought bitterly. "Did that bastard influence Repliforce back then just because they were the most convenient puppets at the time… or to get at me as well?"
"So what are you going to do about it now?" Zero asked.
"I keep thinking that it's time to start planning another trip out there." X said. "Give it another try and put the matter to rest once and for all. But… I'm scared of what I might uncover."
X leaned forward, placing his elbows on his legs and resting his head on his hands.
"What if I never find her? What if I'm too late and she never made it?"
"You won't find her for sure if you just sit here." Zero pointed out. "It's about time you did something for yourself instead of just throwing your life away for duty's sake. We have enough people here to defend ourselves while you're away."
"I'm not going anywhere for the time being." X said. "It would be a massive dick move to run off again so soon after catching up with you. I also still have to finish piecing together all the bits of information. Not to mention my search will take me through dangerous places. I'll need to be at full strength for this… inside and out."
"Fine." Zero said. "Ciel is already working on your new body and I'll help you shake the rust off your skills. But after that… no more excuses."
"So that's what happened." Ciel chimed in as she finally caught up with them and sat next to the two.
She then cast a long glance at X.
"You just keep surprising me." she said. "The stories never mentioned that side of you."
"I honestly don't know what I would have done in your place..." she thought with a pang of sadness. "Even legends have a heart… and you've given so much of yourself to the world."
"There's a lot that never went into the records." X said. "I guess Zero isn't the only one who worries that some people might think less of him if they knew the full story."
X then sighed.
"Some legend I turned out to be huh?"
"You did what you could with what you had." Ciel retorted, shaking her head. "I'm the one who made a mess of things after all your hard work."
"Oh come on you two!" Zero scolded. "We're finally on the mend and things are looking up. This is supposed to be a happy occasion and here you are, putting yourselves down."
"You do have a point..." Ciel conceded.
"You and X have always had this in common, along with a few other things." Zero remarked with a sigh. "It's about time you started showing yourselves the same patience and forgiveness you show everyone else."
"I… You're right." X muttered.
"Damn right I am." Zero said, before lightly bonking his old friend on the head. This gesture elicited a slight smile from X.
"Heh."
"What?" Zero asked.
"You have no idea how great it feels to see the old you again." X said with a fond smile. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised to see you bounce back like this. You were usually the one talking some sense into me when I started faltering."
"That's what friends are for, dumbass." Zero said with a scoff. "Now if you'd just actually listen to me..."
"This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them." Zero thought, mystified and amused at how he had ended up with both X and Ciel leaning on him for support. Him, the intended doomsday weapon, the one who had once been referred to as Ancient God of Destruction. "Though one of them is admittedly cuter than the other. Eh, what am I going to do? I guess I just can't leave these two alone."
Watching the two shift from serious conversation to playful banter so smoothly and witnessing how well they clicked together, Ciel couldn't help smiling. She had seen rare flashes of Zero's softer side, but his mood was definitely improving since X's return and, at least in her eyes, he seemed to be becoming more expressive and somewhat less burdened by the past. She was beginning to understand how the two had achieved so many great things together.
In fact, a tiny portion of her couldn't help feeling just the tiniest bit jealous of their connection… or wondering if some of the more outrageous rumors she had heard about their relationship had a grain of truth.
"No, let's not go there..." she thought, her face turning a slight shade of pink.
"You two aren't getting rid of me anytime soon." Zero said with a sudden grin. "So get it through your heads. I'm not giving up until both of you are sorted out."
And with that, he pulled both of them closer with one arm each, catching Ciel by surprise and leaving her with a sudden shortness of breath.
Meanwhile, someone else was watching them.
"Come on! They're right there! Enough stalling!" the figure in green thought.
With that, it took a deep breath and snuck as close as possible without making a sound.
"It would be a dick move to interrupt now though..." it thought, stopping in its tracks.
"Enough already! Just do it. Come on! Deep breath… One… two..."
"I thought I'd find you here." a voice said.
X and Zero turned and saw a male Reploid of indeterminate age, wearing the typical green Resistance uniform. He seemed rather unremarkable, with short brown hair, a plain face that was easy to forget in a crowd and a slim but otherwise average build, but as he removed his goggles there was something about his eyes and facial expression that seemed awfully familiar to the two.
The two former Hunters exchanged glances, feeling a strange sense of deja vu.
"Do you need something, Captain Revenu?" Ciel asked, clearly recognizing the man but still slightly confused by his presence. The fact that Zero still had an arm wrapped around her did not help matters, as she was not used to such displays in front of others.
To her surprise, the newcomer simply laughed heartily, with his voice suddenly shifting in pitch until it resembled that of a teenage boy. At this point, X and Zero finally realized what was going on.
"No way..." Zero thought.
"I know that voice..." X thought.
"Sorry Doc, but that isn't my name." the soldier said, taking his beret off with a grin as his hair started visibly growing longer and spikier and taking on a shade of red.
To Ciel's surprise, he then spun around and made a rather exaggerated dramatic pose as his facial structure began to shift as well… into the form of another familiar face from the Hunters' past.
"You thought I was the dashing and ridiculously handsome Captain Revenu, soldier of the Resistance." the soldier said, closing his eyes with a smile, as he rested his chin on his right fist, his face taking on the appearance of a teenage boy with an X-shaped scar right above his nose.
"When in fact it was me..." he continued, now grinning ear to ear.
"Axl." Zero said flatly, before lightly bonking him over the head. Despite the gesture, however, Zero was clearly smiling.
"Hey! Don't ruin my entrance you jerk!" Axl protested in mock outrage, suddenly opening his eyes. "I spent ages rehearsing it in my head!"
"That was… unexpected." X said. "All this time you were hiding in plain sight?"
"Wait, you know him?" Ciel asked, somewhat confused.
"You could say that, yes." Zero said, once again caught in the flow of memories, but this time still firmly in the present. "This rascal here is Axl. An old companion from our days as Hunters."
He then cast a long look at the trickster Reploid, the prankster and overeager rookie who had grated on his nerves before eventually earning the pair's recognition and becoming the third member of the team. There was definitely something different about him from the Axl he recalled, however, and he soon realized what. His bearing, his posture, the determined look in his eyes, now tempered by experience and confidence. He was no longer the cocky, overeager boy that X and Zero remembered.
"You've… changed." X remarked, having clearly noticed as well. "You may still have the same face, but it looks like you've done a lot of growing up while we weren't looking."
"Well, what did you expect?" Axl asked with a shrug as he sat next to the others. "With you two gone, someone had to step up to the plate. I was there too when both of you went to sleep, and I knew someone had to keep watch over the world in your place."
He then smirked and gave Zero a shameless grin.
"Incidentally, congratulations on the good taste. The Doc here is a real cutie."
Ciel blinked and turned a shade of pink.
"I retract my previous statement." X said, borrowing a page from Phantom's Handbook of Deadpan Snark.
"Definitely still a goofball." Zero added with a nod.
"Oh come on!" Axl said in mock outrage. "Do you have any idea how boring it was to pretend to be a straight laced soldier all this time so I wouldn't blow my cover?"
"So what exactly have you been up to all this time?" X asked.
"I've been around." Axl explained. "Here and there, across half the world. I wanted to see just how bad things were out there and figure out what I could do about it, so I traveled in disguise. After that, I returned to Neo Arcadia just in time for that last stupid Maverick resurgence."
Axl sighed and frowned as he looked at his old partners and mentors.
"I watched Ciel step up to try to make things right again and how instead they went horribly wrong. I saw people turning on each other and taking a dump on the example you guys and our old pals had tried to set. I was definitely not happy about it."
In his eyes, they saw a mixture of conflicting emotions. Grief, anger, hope, joy. The words just kept pouring out of his mouth.
"When Ciel finally decided she'd had enough and left, I slipped into the Resistance and made myself useful as a spy, trying to mess that damn copy's schemes as much as I could until the time was right to finally take the bastard down. Then you two came back. A Cyber Elf and an amnesiac."
A sad look crept upon his face as he continued.
"I couldn't bear to see you in that state, and I wasn't even sure if either of you would remember me. So I kept my cover and continued doing my work, until I could find a way to make things right. I also shadowed the good Doc here now and then, just to make sure she stayed safe."
Suddenly, his expression changed again, and he looked like he was on the verge of tears, like the young boy he still mostly appeared to be despite the centuries that had passed.
"You have no idea how happy I am to see you back to your old selves. It's been… rough without you around."
"You may be in for a bit of a disappointment." Zero said. "After all of this, I do think some of us have changed. Maybe a bit too much."
"On the contrary." Axl retorted. "You got your old fire back, this much I can tell. I've been watching you ever since Ciel rang your alarm clock."
"Is that so?" Zero asked.
"You're definitely looking happier these days, more than I've seen in a very long time." Axl insisted. "You've been through much, just like the rest of us, but at the core you're still the same soft-hearted badass I remember from back in the day."
"Soft-hearted, you say?" Ciel asked with a sudden smile. "I believe you and I have much to discuss then."
Somehow, since they'd first met she had always known that there was more to Zero than met the eye, beyond the legend that often reached fairly ludicrous heights.
He usually wasn't very talkative or expressive, but even before the change in his general mood brought about by X's return she still had noticed a lot of small, subtle things about the way he acted. How he would go out of his way to help random people with issues both big and small, from gathering energy crystals for someone else to searching for Alouette's misplaced toys or missing people without needing to be asked. He had been doing this sort of thing since shortly after his awakening.
Though she had undeniably first searched for him out of desperation in the face of overwhelming adversity, there were other things about him that often left her feeling lightheaded and even a little giddy in his presence. Alas, he seemed unwilling – or perhaps unable – to completely let his guard down most of the time. This frustrated her at times, since she could often catch glimpses of something else in his reactions, but she understood that he had his own issues to deal with, much as she often struggled with her guilt over the events surrounding Neo Arcadia. In the middle of all that, however, there was a truth she recognized. His presence made everything better and eased the burden on her heart.
Ciel was still young, but she was already aware of what was happening to her. She did not dare say it out loud, but she knew. One day, she hoped he would acknowledge it.
"I completely underestimated you." she thought as she glanced adoringly at Zero. "I didn't know what to expect back then, but… definitely not that you'd end up becoming my pillar of strength."
"Doc, you're spacing out." Axl teased with a chuckle.
"Ah!" Ciel cried out, startled out of her thoughts.
"Shame on you Zero..." Axl said with his usual lack of subtlety, before letting out another laugh. "Leaving the Doc in such a state. Then again, the ladies always went crazy around you. Must be the hair. I'll have to step up my game if-"
Such blunt shamelessness definitely left Ciel at a loss for words, not to mention struggling to stay composed.
"Let's not go there." Zero grumbled, rolling his eyes.
"Right." Axl said, his expression turning serious for a change. "I probably shouldn't tease you like this. I know it happened before my time, but I still heard the stories."
"That's really none of y-" Zero tried to protest, one of his eyes twitching nervously.
"Hey, I get it dude." Axl interrupted, raising his hands placatingly. "That kind of shit tends to mess people up. But don't you think it's about time you gave it another go? Maybe I'm running my mouth, but I think she wouldn't want you to keep acting like that forever."
"What?" Ciel thought. "She?"
Ciel wanted to ask what that was all about. She wanted to ask badly. But Zero's earlier panic attack and his pained reaction after Axl had brought up the subject told her that it wasn't an easy subject to approach. Instead, she did the only thing she could for the time being, and patted Zero's back.
"Like I said before, I won't pry." she said earnestly. "If and when you feel ready to get it off your chest..."
"Thanks." Zero said with a nod, visibly relaxing under her touch.
"It's not fair for you..." he thought bitterly. "Axl may still be a loose tongued little troll but he has a point. I have to get my shit together."
Though painfully aware of his inability to move forward, at least for the time being, he could not bring himself to push her away. Part of him knew exactly why Axl's on the nose comments had struck a nerve, even if he was reluctant to dwell on the matter. In one way or another, and much like X, he had spent most of his life fighting for others. Their personal feelings and needs had often been relegated to the background.
"If you're a coward, X, then what am I?" he thought. "Ciel is right here and I still can't open up."
"Come on guys!" Axl said, shifting back into high gear as if he had spent centuries saving up all his usual energy for the right moment. "This isn't a funeral. Now isn't the time to be making such serious faces. The old team is together again!"
Then Axl excitedly hopped off the bench and started shadow boxing of all things.
"Look out world!" he shouted, brimming with enthusiasm. "The three amigos are back!"
"Good grief..." Zero thought. "It looks like the peace and quiet are over. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't good to see this little troll again though."
The three, accompanied by Ciel, ended up spending the rest of the day reminiscing and sharing stories of their past with her, with Axl steering the conversation to the amusing and bizarre episodes of their lives and away from the gloom. His enthusiasm was contagious and they ended up enjoying some sorely needed laughter over their antics, from the time Axl had dared some of the female recruits to sneak into Zero's quarters and steal a single strand of his hair while he was asleep to the two weeks of full on prank wars between the two that had culminated in a reprimand from Signas – totally worth it in Axl's opinion.
A few hours later, Alouette, who had gone looking for them, ended up sticking around as well, fascinated by the tales of the past and delighted to hear about their antics. To their surprise, it turned out that Axl had a bit of a talent for entertaining children, and soon the younger Reploid found herself utterly enthralled, much like Ciel. With their heartaches forgotten for the time being, they tried to enjoy the momentary tranquility and gather their strength for the challenges the near future would bring.