Chapter 6 – A Jealous Friend
The train ride was awkward. James and me are soul mates? Are soul mates even real? No, surely not. Do I find him attractive? Of course, I would be blind if I didn't! But there must be some mistake. We're best friends, and that's all. Sam kept trying to break the tension by starting up a conversation about something totally random.
"So which house do you want to be in Rose?"
"Hmm...?" I said, not listening to the question. I was too busy thinking of what Ron had said. Maybe he said it because he was so angry. Maybe it was his idea of a joke. Maybe it was the truth.
"I said which house do you want to be in?" Sam asked again.
"Oh, Gryffindor, like my mom. But Ravenclaw sounds ok too. James said..." I trailed off; I didn't want to bring up a private conversation I had had with James. Not now, not knowing what I know. I picked up a copy of The Quibbler I had brought for the journey and started reading. Although reading usually helps take my mind off things, I couldn't stop seeing words like "soul" or "love". I even saw "Potter" mentioned somewhere. I closed the magazine in frustration and the two boys looked up at me. "I can't stand this anymore! I'm going for a walk." I got up from my chair and walked out of the carriage.
"Rose! Wait up!" I turned around and saw Sam following me.
"What do you want Sam?"
"What is wrong with you?"
"What is wrong with me? Did you not hear what your dad broadcasted to the entire platform just before we left?"
"Well, yeah, but I thought you and James liked each other anyways so it wouldn't make much of a difference," Sam mumbled.
"Much of a difference? Sam, James and I are just best friends. I have never, and will never, have romantic feelings towards him."
"But, what about the whole soul mate thing?"
"I can find my own soul mate. I don't need to be told who he is." At that moment, I was cut off from talking, because Sam had pressed his lips to mine and kissed me. It was awkward; he held onto my shoulders and my arms just dropped by my sides. Everyone was watching us – the popular Weasley boy was kissing the new girl in the middle of the train. When he stepped back for air, he looked at me and said simply:
"I just wanted to see if I am your soulmate." He grinned at me, but I didn't grin back. People in the nearby carriages were whispering.
"I'm sorry Sam, but no. This isn't right."
"Yeah, sure, of course, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. Please, don't let this ruin our friendship. I'm an idiot!" Sam blurted out, clearly embarrassed with what just happened. I needed to get out of this situation. I needed to talk to someone about this, someone who wasn't a Weasley or a Potter.
I walked down the train alone, leaving Sam to rejoin James. I found the sixth year Gryffindors in a carriage near the middle of the train. I looked in and saw Darina Longbottom. Sierra was in there too, not crying anymore and even laughing a bit with the older girls. I knocked on the door and slid it open. "Sorry to bother you, but Darina, do you mind if I talk to you for a moment?"
"Sure. Which boy is it about?" I looked at her, stunned, but figured that of course she would know it was about a boy.
"Sam Weasley," I muttered, making sure to avoid Sierra's gaze. However, Sierra sat up at the mention of her brother's name. I looked at Darina. "Can we talk about this in private please?" Darina nodded and stood up. Sierra stood up too. "I just want to talk to Darina if you don't mind Sierra."
"If it's about my brother then I'm going to talk about it too!" I didn't want to start another fight with her, not so soon after we started making amends, so I let her come too. We found an empty compartment not too far away from where Sam and James were sitting.
"What happened?" Darina asked me, very concerned.
"He kissed me," I blurted out. This caused Sierra to let out a harsh laugh and Darina to give her a look.
"Why?"
"I guess he was jealous of James."
"But you and James aren't together."
"Yes, but Ron said that we were soul mates." I explained the story of the platform to Darina, forgetting that she was already on the train when everything blew up, all the way up until the kiss. As I told it, I felt like I was reliving it. "And then he said 'I just wanted to see if I am your soulmate'."
"Well," Sierra said, "that does sound like the cheesy sort of thing my brother would do. I know that he likes you, but if James admits that he likes you, or vice versa, then I know Sam will lay off. Obviously hearing you say that you have no romantic feelings towards James, he took the opportunity to kiss you there and then. It's what he does. He acts on impulse, not on thought. Right now, he is probably asking James if he has any romantic feelings towards you and if it's a no, then I'm afraid you will be cursed by my brother following you around until you finally give in to him and marry him!" Sierra explained. This was the longest she has spoken directly to me in a month.
"Has he ever done something like this before?"
"Yeah, to Darina!" I laughed with the fifth year Weasley as Darina gave us a dirty look.
"Very funny Sierra. You have to remember, he was eleven, I was a mature thirteen year old. The only girls he knew were his family. Don't worry Rose; he'll get over it as soon as you get a boyfriend, or at least until he finds someone else to crush all over."
"Thanks Darina. And, thanks Sierra," I muttered to the two British girls. As I walked back to Sam and James, I braced myself for the awkward silence I would receive from both of them.
"... but Rose doesn't like me!" I stopped myself from opening the carriage door when I heard my name.
"So? You have to tell her how you feel!" I listened closely, trying to hear who was saying what.
"But it will ruin our friendship!"
"If you don't tell her then I will!" I decided to walk in on them.
"Tell me what?" I looked from Sam to James, avoiding their eyes. Both boys were speechless. After a minute of silence, Sam spoke up.
"Uh, I'm just going to go for a walk." He got up and as he passed James he whispered "good luck mate." He winked at me when he pushed past me to get out of the carriage. I rolled my eyes and looked at James suspiciously.
"Are you just going to sit there like a mime or are you going to tell me what's up?"
"Are you just going to stand there looking at me or are you going to sit down?" He smiled at me and moved over closer to the window, making room for me. I sat down, not beside him but opposite him. I leaned forward.
"What were you and Sam talking about and why was my name mentioned?" I could tell that James felt awkward talking about this.
"Well, you see Rose, the thing is, well, Sam was just telling me about the thing that happened and I, well, I've kind of told him to back off. So now he thinks that I like you. Isn't that funny?" he laughed, but I knew it was fake. I had grown to know James' many different laughs throughout the summer. There was his 'laughing at his own jokes' laugh, his nervous laugh when he was scared, his genuine laugh where he sometimes snorted because he couldn't help it, and this laugh – the fake one that was also a mix of his nervous one.
"Is that all James? Are you sure there's nothing else you need to tell me?" He just looked at me.
"Nothing," he mumbled. We needed to talk about what happened at the platform, he knew it and I knew it. I just had to be brave enough to bring it up.
"You know we need to talk about what Ron said sooner or later."
"Yeah, about that," he cleared him throat. I was ready for this conversation, wasn't I? "I don't want to talk about it. I think we should forget about it and just be friends. Not unless you want to talk about it?" James eyed me suspiciously.
"No! I was just wondering if you wanted to talk about it. Forgive and forget my dad used to say." I gave him my most encouraging smile, hoping this would be the end of it. Thankfully, James smiled back and we continued talking like normal.
The train ride passed without any more awkward moments. Sam returned after a while and when a prefect came around to tell us to get changed, I stepped out of the carriage and left the boys to get ready (I got changed into my robes before I came back after talking to Sierra and Darina). When Sam and James were ready, I stepped back inside and we spent the last ten minutes practicing spells on one another.
As the train slowly came to a stop, I started to get butterflies in my stomach – I was going to see Hogwarts castle for the first time! The first years got the boats to the castle, but every other student got horse-less carriages. I, on the other hand, got an escort by Luna. I had only met her a handful of times over the summer, but she seemed trustworthy and as the Divination teacher, I asked her about soul mates.
"Luna, do you believe that there's someone out there for everyone?"
"Yes, Rose, I do. Dean and I never spoke when we were at Hogwarts. He used to think, like everyone else, that I was a freak, Loony Lovegood; I used to think he was just the quiet Gryffindor that was one year ahead of me. We both joined DA and then during the war, we were both captured and brought to Malfoy Manor and then rescued and brought to Shell Cottage. We got to know each other very well during that time and eventually we fell in love. I believe we were always meant for each other, we just didn't know it at the time."
"Do you believe in prophecies predicting soul mates?"
"Is this about you and James Potter?" I nodded. "I do believe in prophecies predicting soul mates. I also believe that you and James are meant for each other, if you allow it. And, I also believe that we have now reached our destination. Welcome to Hogwarts Rose!" I saw the castle, I saw the boats with the first years, I saw the carriages with the other students – and I saw James. Why could I always spot him in a crowd? Why did I want to spot him in a crowd? This was going to be an interesting year.