O Month X Day

"If you must punish someone, punish me, Eris-sama."

That troubling line was said to me by a certain princess that had come to me today. Her life at court had been a pitiful one, as she was nothing more than a political pawn to be married off. Then, one day, she eloped with a famed Archmage, and proceeded to spend the rest of her life on the run with him. And those years in hiding were, to her, the greatest years of her life.

So why was she now begging me for fogiveness? It was due to her lover, the Archmage. In order to protect her… he performed a forbidden ritual and became a lich. Such an act is one of the highest sins one can commit. Undead are blasphemous existences, and to become one to gain immortality and command other undead is doubly blasphemous. By all rights, I should send that Archmage straight to hell after he dies.

But as I looked at this princess's face, filled with the determination to sacrifice herself to save his soul…

"I know what he did is unforgivable, but he only did it for my sake. He never used the power he gained for evil. In fact, he even used his authority over undead to help send trapped and lost souls to the afterlife. If anyone is at fault, it is me, for being the reason he was forced into that situation. That's why-"

"Enough."

I cut her off. No matter how righteous he was, a sin is a sin, and it must be punished. When you make an exception once, that exception becomes precedent, and law collapses as the line between guilty and not guilty becomes blurred. Therefore…

"Very well, I'll accept your sacrifice. In return for the lich Keele's salvation, I will now punish you for the sin of lichdom."

"I understand."

She bowed her head, ready to accept my judgement.

"For this crime, you shall be sentenced to wait in purgatory indefinitely, and then be reincarnated only when I decide to do so."

I gave her a wink as I said that.

"Eh? You mean-"

"Please take this time to reflect on your sins, and to prepare an apology to give that person the next time you meet."

"… yes, Eris-sama. I shall do so."

As I sent her off to be 'punished,' I saw her mouth the words 'Thank you' to me. Really, what a handful that woman is. That Keele person sure knows how to pick them, huh.

Of course, I still have quite a few stern words to say to him. His lover may have earned his salvation, but that doesn't mean he'll get out of being lectured.

The cart rumbled along through the forest, then entered a side path hidden behind a large boulder.

"We'll be there in about 10 minutes, everyone."

"Can't wait! I've actually never been to a hot spring before. Didn't have much free time growing up."

"I have. Feels amazing."

My two party mates didn't bother to hide their anticipation. As for me…

"Haah, this will be just what my body needed after all that."

I'm pretty sure I was even more eager than them. After all, I definitely suffered the most back at that farmhouse. Even now, my body was still sore from the effects of that relic.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me. What exactly happened to you with that stone back there?"

"I'm also somewhat curious about that. From the window I simply saw you collapse suddenly."

"Tell."

Geh. I opened myself up to that one just now. Back then, after the Bloodstone had finished transmuting me and detached itself from my hand, these two removed it and threw it away. I imagine they were perplexed (and maybe a little concerned) when, after coming to, I frantically used Detect Treasure to reacquire the object that had just been torturing me. I dodged their questions by asking about Maxwell, but it doesn't look like that'll work this time.

… I looked around at their faces. Obviously I can't tell them I'm Eris, but… I feel like I can trust them with this relic at least. To begin with, the existence of divine relics isn't exactly a secret. There's even a few locked away in Dustiness manor apparently. Not to mention that after that whole ordeal we went through, they deserve to know the truth.

I took out the crimson gem and held it up.

"Well, as you've probably figured out, this isn't your average magic item. This is actually a divine relic, known as the Philosopher's Bloodstone…"

"… even though I'm looking right at it, I still can't believe these numbers."

"Absurd."

"Hey, don't just leave me in the dark, pass it up here and let me see!"

After explaining the Bloodstone's effect, I showed them my adventurer's card, with my temporarily inflated stats displayed on it. To put it in perspective, my Strength stat, which used to be appropriate for a low level Thief, is currently on par with Sirius's, a mid level Berserker. Most of my other stats are also similarly boosted. My Luck doesn't appear to have changed, though. I can't tell if it's a limitation of the relic or of the card.

"… if keep the stone, will be strongest adventurer in the country, no?"

"Not a chance. I'm not going to suffer through that every time I'm getting ready to head into battle. And more importantly, something this dangerous shouldn't be in this world at all. Just imagine if someone like Maxwell got ahold of it again."

"So, what are you planning on doing with it? If you need somewhere secure to put it, my family's vault is extremely well-protected."

"Thanks, but I already have plans to seal it away."

Not to mention that I'll probably need to empty that vault myself eventually. It's not that I don't trust their security, but I don't want to take any chances with this world's safety.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we've arrived. Welcome to the Agricultural Guild's official unofficial hot spring!"

We had entered a sizable clearing, and in front of us was a cozy-looking wooden cottage. It was a single-story affair, though it was quite wide. It seemed like it could house around a dozen people at once. There were walls stretching out behind it, and beyond that we could see steam rising up into the air.

"As you can see, it's not particularly big or fancy, but that's the price we pay for privacy."

Small and out in the forest in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't get more private than that.

"No defenses. Safe from monsters?"

"Funny you should ask that. Monsters actually avoid this spring like the plague. We think it may have been blessed by the goddess Aqua."

Somehow I seriously doubt that, considering how obscure this place is.

Then again, Aqua-senpai's reasoning and actions can be unfathomable sometimes, so who knows?

We disembarked the carriage and filed into the cabin. It was surprisingly spacious inside, with a large central room giving it an open feel. There was a long table in the middle, and a kitchen in the back. There were two doors leading off, one on either side.

"Bedrooms are on the left, spring entrances on the right. There's four rooms, each made to board 2-3 people, and since no one else is here right now we'll each get our own."

… that's actually perfect. If I have privacy then I can make a quick trip to heaven tonight, instead of waiting until we got back to the city.

"Is there no one running this place?"

"Nope, it's just us here, my noble friend. Now, I suppose we should think about dinner…"

I tuned out the conversation and started making plans for tonight. First order of business is to increase this avatar's mental corruption resistance. The avatar has a limited power budget to work with since I'm not adding my own divine power to it, so I didn't go all in on resistances.

"… spice mix? Why are you carrying that? Not that I'm complaining, of course."

"Father's advice. Said always…"

But I've clearly underestimated how important it is. I'll raise it to the max so I'll be immune to effects like Maxwell's powers. I'll have to sacrifice some of my stats, but leveling up a bit more will compensate for that.

"… –men's on the right. I'll stable the horse and then prepare the meal, so you all can go ahead in the meantime."

"No, my spices, I should-"

"Don't worry, I know my way around the kitchen. And you all are my guests, so I should be preparing the meal, right?"

"Just leave it to him, Pax."

"… alright."

The other matter is the Bloodstone. I could take it to heaven right now, but then it would be suspicious to the others if it just disappeared overnight. I suppose I can at least seal it just in case.

"… going springs now. Coming?"

"Seems like your friend is a bit lost in thought right now, miss. I'll tell them you two went ahead."

"I'll go in after doing maintenance on my sword. Can't neglect my partner, you know. You're lucky though, Pax, getting that whole side of the bath to yourself."

"Huh? You say strange things…"

Actually, maybe I should give this avatar sealing magic so I can use it whenever I want. It'd be really nice to be able to disable any divine relics being used against me. Though, my stats would suffer even more…

"… could be used to make a nice stew. Too bad we don't have any fresh meat… say, Chris, how are you at hunting?"

"Eh?"

When I heard my name I looked up, only to see Filman standing in the kitchen area, sniffing the contents of a small pouch. My party members were nowhere to be seen.

"Ah, was just wondering if you could catch a rabbit or something for tonight's dinner."

"Sorry, but I don't have experience hunting anything except giant toads."

"Is that so? No worries, I can work fine with dried meat. Oh, your party members have already gone to the springs while you were zoned out."

Right, hot springs. No more thinking. Just relaxing. I might need this more than I thought.

"I'll head in too then."

"I'll come calling when dinner's ready."

I headed over to the door on the right. The hallway beyond it turned left after a bit, went back past the bedrooms, then left again to go alone the back of the building. There were two doorways on the right leading out back. I'm pretty sure he said the men's bath was on the right, so that means the women's must be on the left.

"Aaahhh…"

The heat of the water seeped into my body, loosening my muscles and easing my aching limbs. Aqua-senpai always bragged that the hot springs under her authority were far more valuable than any blessings I could give. Normally I wouldn't pay that claim any mind, but right now, as I soaked in the warm embrace of the spring, I was finding it hard to argue against it. This is heaven… no, it's actually way better than heaven, no contest. The only thing that could make this better would be a cold glass of neroid. I adjusted my towel and shifted into an even more comfortable position.

"Haah…"

If wasn't for my empty stomach I think I might've actually fallen asleep in here. Just soaking away my weariness, both physical and mental, forgetting my worries… well, if I did I suppose I could just have Pax wake me up.

Speaking of which, where is she? Supposedly she went in before me, yet I don't see her in here.

"Hmmmm, hm-hm-hmmmm, hm-hm-hmmmm, hm-hm-hmmmm…"

Humming? It's coming from the other side of the dividing wall. I moved over to the wall to hear it better.

"Hmm, hm-hmmmm, hm-hm-hmmmmmm, hm-hmmmm…"

Wait, I think that's Pax. That song sounds… familiar. I can't place it though.

Wait, that's not the issue here. The real question is why it's coming from the other bath.

Did she go into the wrong side by accident?

No, hold on. Logically speaking, if anyone made a mistake, it was me, who wasn't properly listening earlier.

But then I should've seen Sirius's clothes in the other room… except he's currently doing weapon maintenance. Well, when he comes in he'll see my clothes and realize I'm in here. Yep. Definitely.

…

How long does weapon maintenance take? Maybe if I'm quick I could get over to the other bath… but then I might run into him on the way out… but the longer I wait… no, my luck should protect me, so I just need to go now.

"Ah, that steam feels nice!"

Right as I started to get up, I sat back down again. Geh, I could've made it out if I had just left immediately. Well, at least he's wearing a towel.

"Oh, what're you doing there, Chris?"

Did he really not see my clothes?

Wait, why is he just casually strolling over here!? He's acting like it's no big deal!

"W-What do you think you're doing!?"

"What do you mean?"

He's getting way too close! Did I misjudge him?

As he got closer I prepared to unleash my Bloodstone-boosted punch–

"Why're you over next to the wall?"

Eh? The wall? Why's he asking that?"

He glanced at the wall, then leaned in a bit and started to whisper.

"… were you trying to peep?"

What.

"I promise I won't tell Pax, but… I hadn't figured you for a pervert, so I was just asking."

…

…

Does he think…

…

"… I wasn't peeping, I just thought lying against the wall would be comfortable. I wouldn't dare invade the privacy of our first female party member."

"Ah, I see. Sorry to accuse you like that, then."

No way. He actually…

I don't know whether to be relieved or outraged. Both are probably appropriate here. This does explain a lot about the way he's acted towards me, so there's that, at least.

"Ahhh, this water really is nice. We should go on another hot spring trip in the future."

"Yeah, definitely."

I couldn't stay outraged while immersed in this blissful water, so I settled for mildly irked.

Obviously I need to clear this up eventually, but definitely not right now, or I'd return to heaven out of embarrassment. So for now I just have to bear with it.

And if I have to suffer through this, there's no way I'm letting him off scot-free. Time to tease him a bit.

"So, Sirius."

"Hm?"

"What do you think of Pax?"

"Eh? Where'd that come from?"

If there's one thing I've learned from the manga Aqua-senpai lent me, it's that boys get easily flustered when asked about pretty girls.

"Well, she's a very impressive warrior. In fact, she'd probably be able to hold her own on the frontlines near the capital."

Oh right, I forgot the other thing I learned from those manga: boys are super dense, so you have to be explicit with questions like these.

"I meant what do you think of her as a woman?"

"She's nice enough, I suppose. A reliable and honest person, and apparently she knows how to cook too."

What's with this unfazeable composure. Did manga lie to me?

I pulled my towel a bit tighter as I changed to a different plan of attack.

"So, earlier I think I heard you call your sword your 'partner,' right? Does it have a name?"

"W-What? No, it's just an ordinary sword, of course it doesn't have a name."

There. It's hard to tell since we're already covered with steam and heat, but I could tell from his body language that he just blushed a little. So he's attached to his sword, is he?

How cute.

"You say it's an ordinary sword, but it's clearly very high quality. And even I can tell that it's well cared for, what with that polished, razor-sharp edge. You really treat Excalibur well, don't you?"

"Her name's not Excalibur, it's–"

He suddenly stopped himself and shut up, but it was too late.

"So it *does* have a name!"

"No it doesn't."

"You even called it 'her!'"

"No I didn't."

"Come on, tell me! We're friends, aren't we?"

"Well, yes–"

"And friends introduce each other to their other friends!"

"Hey! You're just making fun of me, aren't you?"

"Whaaat, no, of course not, I'm completely serious. Besides, you should really tell me its name in case of emergency."

"I suppose… wait, what kind of emergency would require that you know my sword's name?"

"Well, say your sword got lost in a crowded place, and you needed my help to look for it."

"I don't see how–"

"I'd need to know what name to call out, otherwise she wouldn't respond to me, right?"

"You ARE just making fun of me!"

"Pffft hahahaha!"

This is just too easy. And fun. I might get addicted to teasing.

"So tell me, how long have–"

"Hey, Sirius! Dinner's ready!"

"We'll be right there!"

Filman interrupted with that announcement, and Sirius jumped on to that escape route. Wait.

"Eh? What do you mean, 'we?'"

Oh crap baskets.

I quickly covered Sirius's mouth before he could respond.

"Don't ask why, but you must never tell them I was here in the bath."

I told him that under my breath, then released my hand.

"That hurt, you were pressing way too hard."

"Sorry."

"Also, why–"

"I just said to not ask why, didn't I? Look, if you can keep quiet about this, I promise not to tease you about your sword anymore."

"My lips are sealed."

He agreed instantly.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah, I said I'll be right there! Just give me a minute!"

"… alright then."

I'll have to find some new material to tease him over, but it was a necessary sacrifice. I waited a few minutes after he left, then got out of the spring myself.

The dinner was quite good. Filman had prepared a stew using Pax's spice mix and some dried meat. Sirius seemed to be an especially big fan, as he wolfed down four whole bowls before I could finish my second.

"Ahhh, that hit the spot. Well everyone, I'm going to go to bed before I pass out. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." x3

After he left, Filman followed shortly after.

"It really has been a long day. If you'll excuse me, ladies."

"Goodnight." x2

I stifled a yawn. I really wanted to turn in too, but I had some things to attend to first. As much as I wanted to put it off another day, I really shouldn't. I'll probably end up sleeping in late tomorrow to balance it out.

"Well, goodnight Pax."

Tug

As I went to leave, however, I felt a tug on the back of my top.

"Something the matter?"

"… you didn't come to bath."

Ah, that's right. She was probably waiting for me, wasn't she. It must've felt like I stood her up.

"Oh, I'm so sorry about that, something came up, and I couldn't enter the bath."

"…"

According to her pouting face, that lame explanation wasn't satisfactory. Did she really want to hang out with me that much? She said she got rejected by other parties, so maybe she was looking forward to some girl talk. Damn, now I feel kinda bad.

I put my hand on her shoulder.

"I really am sorry. Tell you what, why don't we see if we can go in tomorrow morning? It's not like we're in a rush to return to Accelia."
"S-Sounds good."

"Alright then, it's a date! See you in the morning!"

I was glad that I managed to make up with her, but I also berated myself a little bit as I headed to my room. I just had to make plans for the morning, didn't I. So much for sleeping in. I might really fall asleep in the springs. Hopefully I don't offend her if I do.

Let's see, we need to raise this to Mental Corruption Immunity. And let's also raise Paralysis and Poison Resistances while we're at it. Last thing I want is to be put out of action prematurely. And I was also going to add Sealing Magic, right? That comes out to… yikes. I'll need to do some level grinding to make this up. The relic's effect appears to wear off in the next few days, though, so that's not a big window of time before I'm down to my nerfed base stats.

… I really don't want to use it again. Hopefully I'll find some strong monsters on the journey back. If not, then I'll just go back to toad hunting. With Sirius and Pax, it shouldn't be too hard.

Now, let's just seal this Philosopher's Bloodstone… and while I'm here, might as well check my backlog of souls…

"…"

"Chris?"

"…"

"Chris, wake up."

"Wagh!"

I accidentally drifted off while soaking with Pax. The stuff I did last night ended up taking longer than I thought.

"Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night."

"It's fine. Don't mind."

When I asked the guys this morning, they said they wouldn't mind going for another soak before leaving. I mean, who would turn that down? I had to take Sirius aside and tell him that it was just for Pax and I wasn't feeling up to going in again, though.

Well, I did all this so Pax could have her girl talk with me, but she hasn't said much since we got in. I guess just hanging out is enough for her. That's fine too, I guess.

I closed my eyes again. I know I was risking falling asleep again, but it just feels too nice.

"Chris?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you again for partying me. You are first person accept me. Means much to me."

"If you're really thankful, then work hard with us, okay?"

"Haha, can't wait tell father. He will be relieved."

"You'll have to introduce me to this man someday."

"I will."

Her voice sounded somewhat faint. Ah, seems like my consciousness is drifting again. It feels so nice… Aqua-senpai is so lucky…

"Hold it right there."

And our lovely vacation ended with a standoff. As we made to leave the cabin after lunch, we found that we had been surrounded by a zombie maker and his zombies. My party mates and I disembarked the carriage as we prepared for a fight.

"Zombies in broad daylight. There's something you don't see every day."

Sirius cracked a joke while unsheathing his beloved greatsword. He didn't seem too nervous. Neither did I, actually. Compared to Maxwell, this guy was hardly a threat. A zombie maker was a fairly low ranked enemy. And pummeling some mob enemies seems like a perfect way to finish off our vacation, not to mention I could use the experience points. I cracked my knuckles and then unsheathed my daggers.

"Before we help you depart from this plane, would you care to explain why you're here?"

Normally I wouldn't bother to ask, but I'm in a really good mood right now.

"You damn humans! That's our hot spring, you know!"

"Really? This is the first I'm hearing of that."

Filman didn't seem to have any inkling of this monster's claims.

"Don't play dumb with me! Me and my minions enjoyed that spring for years, and then one day that cursed goddess decided to bless it just to keep us out! What did we do to deserve that!?"

Ah, that actually does sound like something she would do.

"So? Even if that's true, what do you hope to accomplish by surrounding us here?"

"Revenge! If I can't enjoy this spring, I'm not going to let any humans enjoy it either!"

How uninspired.

"Say, Filman, has this guy ever attacked anyone else using the spring?"

"No, but we usually travel in bigger groups. He must've thought that since there's only four of us, he could pick on us."

Welp, let's not waste any more time here. I feel kind of bad about Aqua-senpai's actions, but this monster isn't very endearing either. If he wants a fight then he'll get it.

Without warning, I ran up and decapitated him. He didn't even react, and his headless body simply crumpled. I then ran around to every one of his minions, dispatching them in a similar manner.

When I finished, I walked back over to my friends, who were simply staring wide-mouthed. Sirius had only taken a single step forward.

"Hm? Is there something on my face?"

"Fast. Couldn't see."

"And ruthless. You didn't even let us have any."

These boosted stats are fun.

"Well, don't just stand there, let's get on home already."

I turned around and hopped back on the carriage.