Chapter 31- A Random Were...champ?

Bun-dunadaaaa!

Cassandra cups her hands over her ears as she yells. "What is that music?!"

Missingno yells back. "What was that?! It's hard to hear you over the awesome John Cena theme song!"

"THE WHAT?!"

Missingno pulls out a remote control and presses mute. The John Cena background music immediately stops.

"... Okay. So what was that?"

"That was the theme of the Werechamp."

"... Do I even want to know?"

"Of course you do. During the full moon, they trade reason for strength as they act on their basic desires. They don't even look like themselves anymore, instead they look like-"

She holds up a hand. "Do you hear that?"

There is a soft, rhythmic thump pulsing at regular intervals. They turn towards the construction site, where a… Machamp is breaking up the ground.

"Like that."

They try to get closer, sneaking as quietly as possible.

"Don't be afraid. It can taste the smell of sudden moves."

"What? And be quiet."

On closer inspection, it is not quite a Machamp. Along with its four muscular arms, it has two small arms lying worthless by its side. It also does not have the usual yellow mouth, and is instead just gray. And its feet are square, missing its normal split toes.

Cassandra gasps. "It is the Machop from earlier! It stomps out the site by day, and by night it breaks it up again!"

"That's cool and all, but you do know that it heard you, right?"

The Werechamp yells and rushes towards them.

Missingno pulls out the Old Rod. "I will defeat him by pulling a rabbit out of a hat!"

It dives into a tackle, but at the last moment, Missingno steps out of the way and winds up the Old Rod. He bats the Werechamp past them and into the bushes from before.

"Wait. Did I say 'pull a rabbit out of a hat', or 'toss it through some bushes into a dark void of no return'? I always get those two mixed up."

From the bushes, an old man walks out and tips his hat.

Cassandra gasps again. "It's the PFC guy?"

"Uh-oh"

"What is it?"

"There was more than just this guy in the Fan Club."

From the southeast, more cries echo again. Three Werechamps jump over the houses towards them. Even worse, they are even bigger than the last one.

"Don't worry, I'll just toss them into the bushes again."

While he is speaking, one of Werechamps walks over to the bushes, tears them out, and throws them into the water.

"... Aaaand NOW we're doomed."

"What? Don't you have a backup plan?"

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

"Let me think…" He scratches his chin with one hand, while batting away the barrage of hits with the other. "I might have an idea."

He reaches out his hand. "Hi, my name is Missingno."

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

Enemy Werechamp used Low Kick!

Missingno ducks under the chop and jumps over the kick.

"Any other bright ideas?"

"Let me try that one more time." He reaches out his hand again. "Hi, my name is Missingno."

Cassandra swats his hand away. "I know who you are!"

"I know. I was just distracting you while I got this." He holds up a Nugget.

"Wait, is that mine?"

"Was yours." He turns back to the Werechamps. "Here, take THIS!"

He pitches it at the head of the closest Werechamp. It bounces harmlessly off and falls into its hand. It then pitches it away, far over the horizon.

Missingno stares in the direction it flew. "Wow, they really can throw things that far. I thought that was just one of the exaggerations that the Pokedex has. Like Alakazam's IQ or Pidgeot's and Rapidash's speed."

Enemy Werechamp used Submission!

One of the Werechamps grabs Missingno and spins into the air and towards the ground.

"This might be a good time to mention that I can use Counter."

The Werechamp smashes him into the ground, while a second Missingno punches it in the face. It flies into the water, and a second later, a large man washes onto the shore.

As the first Missingno struggles to stand, the two Missingnos bump fists .

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

One of the remaining Werechamps sneaks up behind Missingno and attacks, but he swats it away.

"Never try a sneak attack on someone who can read the text." Missingno sighs. "But at least you aren't using Focus Energy, because then I would be in real-"

Enemy Werechamp used Focus Energy!

Missingno used Counter!

A third Missingno hits that Werechamp in the face with Koons, knocking it out.

"Missingno!" Cassandra rips Koons out of his hands.

Wait, I'm still confused on what happened.

"Apparently, some moves don't reset the data from the last attack."

Oh.

"Besides, in this gen, Focus Energy accidentally lowers critical hit ratio."

Double oh.

"Now." All three Missingnos turn to the remaining Werechamp. "Looks like the tables have turned."

Uh, Missingno? You do know that they aren't the main glitch, right?

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh… Of course. But just to make sure you know what the main glitch is… what is it?"

Look up into the sky. What do you see?

"The full moon."

And a little to the right?

"The crescent moonooooooh, now I get it."

The two other Missingnos grab the first one, and chuck him into the sky. He crashes into the full moon, and both shatter into pieces.

The Werechamps fade away, leaving the two other Fan Club members in their place.

"And that takes care of that." One Missingno waves as the other walks around the Pokemart and heads east.

Cassandra glares at him. "I'm still mad about the Nugget."

"You mean this one?" He reaches into her bag, and pulls out a Nugget. He waves the Old Rod in the air. "Tada! Magic!"

She snatches it back and puts it in her bag. She gives one last glare before leaving to find a place to sleep.