BPOV

"Fuck, Bella!"

I pop up from Edward's lap for two reasons.

One: because of the urgency in his voice.

Two: because the swerve of my car is strong enough that I feel I could fly through the dashboard.

Quickly, I'm up and looking at the tall grass as it hurdles towards the windshield, the ditch we're careening into approaching at a rapid pace. I hold on to the handle on the passenger side door, which is pretty easy considering how fast Edward has turned the wheel away from the incoming ditch. With a few more rocky dips and curves of the car, we right ourselves on the road, back in the direction we had been traveling. Once I know we're not going to die just for some roadhead, I let out a whoop of laughter.

I laugh even harder when I see Edward's face. I can see his chest rise and fall between the flashes of moonlight into our car as we continue on this desolate road. His face is as white as a ghost, and as serious as a heart attack. He keeps looking into the rearview mirror as if something is behind us just waiting to pounce.

He doesn't have to look in the rearview any longer; I'm the one ready to pounce.

Edward was the one who had started it in the first place back at the carnival earlier tonight and it looks like I'm going to be the one to finish it.

I know it was just a slip when he sat down at our table when he had touched me in front of the others. We were lucky; it had been sheer luck that a random wind had blown all the napkins down the rows of tables to create a distraction for everyone around us. Next time we won't be so lucky.

And right now, I'm ready to admit that there will be a next time.

I don't see how there wouldn't, couldn't, be a next time considering how one touch of his hand on the skin above my knee had me panting on a Ferris wheel shortly after, his fingers lost within me as I lost myself within him. The way his finger's feather-light outside strokes had deftly slipped inside me to deliver an orgasm that had me riding his touch like I would die if I didn't have it.

I've never believed in the thoughts of women being mere participants in the world of sex. I happen to enjoy it and never shy away from that fact. Maybe that's why making these videos with Edward had been within my realm of reality. Maybe because I had convinced myself that my position on sex over the three years here at school would remain unchanged; the thought that sex could be fun and safe and casual had made me forget everything else that sex could bring: Strong connections. Vulnerability. Deep awakenings.

And that it could become so very, very addicting.

And that is what I am now. Connected to him in even more ways than I had thought possible. That I had planned on. Completely vulnerable to the way just his mere presence alone has me on alert. I know when he walks into a room and I know when he leaves it. He's awakened feelings in me that scare me and exhilarate me at the same time. Watching my parents tumble into the world of divorce and disappointment had unconsciously jaded me from love and relationships, but now this friendship and sex with Edward has become so addicting that a flame ignites inside of me. Makes me feel – no, makes me believe, that I am not my mother. We are not my parents.

I want to strengthen our connections. I want to make myself vulnerable to him. I want him to awaken unknown parts of me that lie lost and dormant inside.

And unlike my mother and her views towards my father, I feel myself start to trust Edward's ability to guard these dealings with my heart.

Plus, I'm already unconditionally, and irrevocably, addicted to him.

Not just the sex. Him.

I stop laughing so I can stare at him while he tries to gather himself from our near accident. I don't know where to start first. I could start at his hands, those fingers that already know me so well, but then I'll miss his wild, bronze hair that looks just as delicious when it's standing up a mile on top of his head or tucked beneath a backwards hat. I could start at his jaw and the sculpted way it squares his usual carefree face but it ultimately leads me on the path to his lips that haven't touched me yet. His lips, full where they need to be, hide a tongue that I've seen glimpses of during our sessions. Sometimes he licks his lips with that tongue right before he gives in to a temptation I haven't pinpointed yet.

I don't trust myself to look into his eyes for too long; they hold answers to questions we haven't asked. Instead, like Edward, I look back at the dark road behind us. We're still the only car in sight and I have a thirst for him in my mouth again that cannot be quenched.

I repeat my question that I had asked him before I had taken him in my mouth and caught him so off guard that he almost drove us off the road.

"You good?"

"You're going to have to give me a warning," he says, still shook enough to keep his eyes on the road, and the road only. He hasn't looked my way yet.

I laugh again, comfortable enough to remove the death grip I have on the door and move back over to his side of the car. "Is this warning enough for you?"

I take him in my hand again, leaning down again so my tongue slowly circles the tip in case we find ourselves and my car in the weeds again. I hear his intake of breath, feel the car jilt forward and then suddenly brake again. We start moving again and he shifts in his seat.

"Yeah," he breathes.

With him fully warned, I continue what I have been wanting to do for longer than I realized. Just like before, I can't decide where I want to start first.

I want all of him.

It's amazing how something so very hard can be titillating soft at the same time; I let my tongue memorize the satin of the tender skin before I wrap my lips around him completely. So many thoughts are at play here that it's difficult to comprehend. I can't decide what I like more: the feel of him in my mouth, on my tongue, my lips surrounding him as he touches the back of my throat, or the sounds he makes when he can't decide which part he likes best, either.

Also at play here is the way our car surges forward when he forgets that he's behind the wheel of a car, and the way that we slam to a stop when he remembers where he is. It's the comedic relief we need to break down more barriers that we had established.

"Did you forget how to drive?" I tease, stopping my motions to turn my head to look up at him between laughs.

Big mistake.

Huge.

It makes me want to climb on his lap this second, not caring about other drivers on the road.

He looks down at me, his eyes half closed and his mouth slightly open.

It's a look I won't forget.

"I've forgotten a lot of things," he pants, the car lurching forward again when my hands take over my mouth's work so I can keep talking to him. I love the way his voice sounds when his mind is overcome with want. It's low, breathy, and the words that usually pour from his mouth feel stunted like his brain can't find the words he wants to say.

I laugh and reach to the center console where he keeps his phone. I hand it to him and he opens his eyes fully when he sees what I've handed him.

"You're serious? I'm driving your car, you're blowing me, and you want me to use my phone to record this? All at the same time?" I can see his green eyes shining with amusement despite the late hour and the darkness around us. "Are you even a cop's daughter at all?"

I laugh but ignore him, growing impatient just holding his cock in my hand when I really want to taste him some more. "Put it on the same video as mine," I continue as if he has no objections.

"I'm going to kill us," He reasons, taking his foot off of the brake a little so we're moving a little bit. A snail's pace it is, but we're moving. Edward opens his mouth to speak again. "No, I'm serious. I'm going to hit a tree and –"

I don't let him finish.

Well, not until he's fisting my hair and our car looks like we've 'taken it back now, y'all' a couple of times in the dead of night. I imagine someone laughing their ass off if they were to see our car on Google Satelilte or something like that. His foot dances back and forth between the gas and brake pedals, a reminder of where we stand between reality and when one flutters between the lines of reality and euphoria.

I know what he's feeling; it had been me under the work of his hand and fingers hours before. I know what it's like to try to hold on to keep riding that wave for as long as you can. I know what it's like to reach that point where you just cannot hold on any longer.

Edward reaches that point soon enough, and I'm ready to take it all, happily. He stops the car completely a moment before he comes, somehow in his haze of desire he knows to bring us to a still on the empty road. I can't see him; I'm facing the opposite direction of where he stares so that I won't be recognizable on camera. I have to go by his grunts and gasps, the way his legs shift beneath the steering wheel, the way his fingers thread themselves through my hair. When I feel him grow harder within my mouth, I know he's letting go.

I wonder if, like me, he's so far gone.

Eventually, when the camera stops rolling and Edward's grip on my hair loosens, I settle myself back into the passenger seat. I'm unable to keep the smile off of my face. My confidence soars when I see he's unable to do much now other than rest his head against the headrest with a small, amused smile pulling on the corner of his lip. His eyes are still closed but he reaches a hand out to find mine, and we thread our fingers together in the middle of our seats.

We stay that way until our stomachs growl and Edward drives us to the beach to get some frozen yogurt. We make sure to get extras for the rest of them back at the dorms so it looks like we ventured off for dessert instead of other treats they don't know about.

"We could be the dumbest people I know," he says a little while later when we're sharing a frozen yogurt at the pavilion by the beach. We're standing in the same spot where we decided to go through with the proposition. Instead of rain soaking through, the air is both warm and cool at times and the moonlight bounces off of the black water in front of us. The streetlights provide adequate lighting for me to sneak in a couple of glances his way when I think he's not looking.

I notice that he looks at me a lot in a way that makes my stomach tumble.

"Why is that?" I ask, swallowing a bite of our ridiculously tall frozen yogurt order. The Fruity Pebbles on it is equivalent to the cherry on the top of ice cream.

"We've had three years to do this," he says around a mouthful, shaking his head and pointing back and forth between us. "And we start now?"

As random as the thought is, he doesn't have to explain himself further. I know what he's talking about. Three years of being just his friend has laid a strong foundation in being able to understanding him.

"Maybe that's why it is the way it is?"

How close we are never changes during this whole proposition. If anything, I feel as if we understand each other even more.

He shakes his head again and kicks some sand off of the pavilion and onto the dark beach below us. "So much wasted time."

The evening wind howls in my ears and blows my hair around my face. Kind of annoying when you're eating sticky frozen yogurt, but whatever. "You could be on a plane back to Chicago soon, you know," I remind him. "None of this would be happening at all if that were the case."

Edward thinks for a moment and nods. "You'd still need your share of the money, though."

I nod but then shrug. "Yeah, but I would have had to find a different way. This," I pause and point to us back and forth again, "agreement was made in the first place because we both needed money for something and fast. I wouldn't have done it with anyone but you."

Edward looks at me again, his eye dipping down to my lips as my tongue catches any excess dessert. He sighs and looks out towards the ocean away from me. "We're going to make our money. Probably before you need to move in."

"Most likely." I agree. Edward had told me that he had peeked at our numbers accidentally on purpose and told me that we were getting closer and closer to our goals.

"Can I be honest?" He asks, turning again so he's leaning on his back against the railing with both arms to steady himself.

"Of course." I say. He reaches for my hand and squeezes it within his own. It's not the Florida heat that raises my temperature.

"This is my favorite way to earn some money, I have to say," he says before reaching around me to slap me on my ass.

I squeal at his unexpected slap, both of us laughing before I agree with him. I answer him between laughs. "It is pretty awesome, isn't it?"

"I mean, it's easy," he says. I can hear the hint in his voice. He adds on, "To make money this way."

"Very easy," I agree.

He runs his hands through his hair before exhaling loudly. "I say we keep making the videos until you move in. A little extra cash can't hurt us, right?"

"Wait." I hold my hand up to stop him, and maybe to distract him for a moment while I try to compose myself at his offer. I already know what my answer is going to be. "Are you saying that I can actually buy bedroom furniture?"

"We're definitely going to need a bed, Bella," he says, as if it were obvious. He realizes his slip at the same time I call him out on it.

"I thought you said we were stopping when I moved in?"

Edward shakes his head at me like I'm crazy for not seeing his point. "We can't not have a session recorded in your new place," he laughs, reaching for his phone. He shakes it in front of my face. "It's the reason we're doing this in the first place, right?"

I'm starting to forget. "Fine," I say with a roll of my eyes. He laughs again and chucks our now empty frozen yogurt into the trash can near us.

"I love how you act like you're bothered by it," he says, standing next to me so he can kick the back of my knee so I pitch forward. He catches me before I faceplant off the pavilion and into the sand below us, his arms wrapping around me. I can still hear the teasing in his voice. "You can't wait for it."

Neither of us make a move to release me from my place in his arms. I shove myself out of his grasp and give him a playful push. He looks down at my hand on his chest and exhales silently, pretending that I'm hurting him. "This is great. You get roadhead and I'm getting shit from the guy who almost totaled my car an hour ago because of it."

He laughs and takes me in his arms again, beginning to walk us back to my car. "In my defense, I told you I needed a warning, girl."

"Looks like you can't keep up," I tease him back and it feels so good to see that amazing smile fade into seriousness.

He responds in a way that I'm not prepared for and serves it with a look that makes my stomach drop again. "Maybe I can't."

-ptp-

The next couple of days are both grueling and fast. I never thought those two things could occur at the same time, but it is Finals Week and it's usually like that in college. With most of my exams this week, and a couple scattered throughout next week, I spend my nights studying, writing papers, meeting with peers for study groups, and preparing a list of things I need to do before now and move in day.

Garrett, our soon to be landlord, had reached out to Alice a few days ago to tell us the status of our bungalow and to remind us when our security and first month's rent were due. It was an incredible feeling to be able to answer with confidence that I would have my share of the money plus the money for the summer months that Charlie wasn't planning on paying for. When the girls asked how I was able to get the money I needed, I had lied and told them that I had asked my mom – and told them not to mention it in front of her because I hated that I had to borrow money from her to begin with. I hate keeping secrets from them but I know this has to stay with me. What sucks is I could really use their advice though, especially when Thursday rolled around and I was torn at the thought of seeing Edward. I was excited for obvious reasons but filled with bittersweet emotions of our time coming to an end soon.

Just a couple more sessions before I would be able to fully relax and focus on spending my summer working in a more reputable situation with Liam. The thought of moving in excites me and a part of me dies inside, little by little. I can't wait to stretch in my sheets and wake up to the waves crashing on the shore and the seagulls squawking their appearance, but that also means that saying hello to freedom means saying goodbye to Edward.

Not goodbye as in I'll never see him again, but goodbye in the sense that our sessions would have to be stopped. We agreed on that the other night at the pavilion, even though it seemed like Edward had something to say about our newly agreed upon termination date.

He had held it back then and held it back again on Thursday when he came over once Alice and Rose were gone.

With our videos from the night of the carnival uploaded, we had wasted no time in getting started. I smile when I think about how far we've come from our first session full of awkward fumbling and trembling hands. This time, our laughs filled the room and throughout the video, so much so that Edward had texted me afterwards telling me that he had to add music to our video to drown out our voices in case anyone recognizes us.

It wasn't my fault that our teasing had turned into a game that Edward had suggested. Whoever had the first orgasm had to write a final paper for the winner. It had turned into a race to please the other, and I was determined to win and have him write my paper on how to design a balanced literacy program in an elementary classroom.

I lost.

And not like an Oh, but I was so close! situation, either.

I had lost so bad that he even tried to get me to write two papers for him – two papers for the two orgasms he gave me before he even had one of his own.

I called bullshit on that one.

Now, it's Friday night and I'm exhausted from surviving Finals, babysitting, Edward, and Garret's phone call.

We're all beat to hell from the week, and the girls and I find ourselves in our beds watching some movie Rose picked. I love these moments, and I smile giddily to myself when it hits me that this, these moments with my friends, won't end any time soon with the bungalow just under our grasp.

I'm fading into my pillow and blankets when my phone vibrates next to me on my nightstand. I know who it is before I reach over to grab it.

You up? It reads, Edward's name on the top of the text.

No. I answer him with a teasing emoji.

No?

I laugh out of my nose and answer him back. How can I answer you if I'm not up? I'm up.

Let me in.

You're here? I sit up in bed, looking over at Alice and Rose in their beds. I can't tell if they're asleep yet.

Not yet. Got dropped off.

Then I remember his work party for all the interns was tonight. How was your party?

Awesome.

How wasted are you? I ask, settling back into the comfort of my bed. It takes him a few minutes to answer but I laugh when his response rolls in.

A lot. Let me in.

I shake my head in the dark at the screen. You can't come. Rose and Alice are here.

I need to come.

I feel heat rise in me at his innuendo.

You need to go to bed. I tell him, looming over my bed to see if the girls are still awake. I see Alice's eyes still watching the screen. With the formal tomorrow and all of us licking our wounds from our workload this week, I hope he listens.

I miss you.

I sigh and answer him back, letting my instincts go against what my mother taught me. I let myself believe him.

I miss you, too.

-ptp-

With the mayhem of the week behind us, our morning is somewhat lazy considering we can check in to the hotel in the early afternoon to start our preparations for the formal. None of us had even attempted to pack a thing until Saturday a little before noon. We spend the next several hours complaining about how easy the guys have it – a brush, cologne, toothbrush and toothpaste if they remember it, hair gel, and their suits and shoes. Maybe a change of clothes for the drive home if they're feeling a little daring and want to be a little more organized.

Us girls, on the other hand, pack shoes, clothes for all occasions, including an outfit if we were to meet the Queen of England, hair equipment, makeup, and alcohol for the room. We carry our dresses to the resident parking lot, our suitcases on wheels filled to the brim with all of our essentials. We load everything into Alice's car and head towards the hotel.

I talk to Edward all morning despite the frenzy of packing once our laziness had worn off.

There's a different tone to our texts. It makes my heart race, my face hurt from the permanent smile plastered on it, and my mind wander.

The admission of missing one another crosses another line. I pull out my phone and go to look at a picture of our signed proposition that I had taken for moments like these.

I do a mental check and scroll to see how many rules are still standing.

No telling anyone. Almost broken with his misplaced hand and flying napkins.

No love bites. Check. His mouth has never touched my skin. Not. Even. Once.

No other partners. Check. I'll kill a bitch.

Agreed schedule. Completely broken. Destroyed.

Honesty. Always.

No faces. Check.

Money in the account not to touched. Broken but not beyond repair; we only took money out for our room tonight.

No kissing. Not broken but my lips tingle at the thought of Edward's mouth on my own.

No falling in love.

I exit out of my pictures but those four words still appear in front of my eyes when I close them to question myself on that requirement. Check?

As my uneasiness spreads, my phone lights up with another text from Edward. If I wasn't sure before, I am now.

I can't wait to see you.

Oh, fuck.

-ptp-

"Where are we meeting them?" Alice asks as she stands in the full length mirror one last time.

"Emmett's room," Rose answers. She slides in next to Alice, their reflections staring back at them in perfection.

"Is everyone in there?" I ask, sitting on the bed while I struggle to slide into a pair of way too pointy black heels. As nice as they look, I can almost feel them filling in with the blood of my long lost circulation.

"No, they're all pregaming in Peter's room." Alice says with a shake of her head and slight laugh. "They should be in rare form."

I'm grateful for avoiding Peter's room. The night is guaranteed to be filled with every preconceived notion that goes along with frat guys, and I welcome whatever rare and precious time without their volume swimming in my ears. I remind myself that not all frat guys are bad.

Especially one in particular.

"Are we all ready?" Rose asks, reaching for her purse. I finish shoving my feet into my heels and join them at the mirror.

The black dress I had chosen rests comfortably against my skin, fitting against my body as tight as it should. The back is completely open, the front gathered in a loose swoop an inch below a level that my Dad would deem appropriate. The straps are thin and the silver sequins scattered throughout shine in unison with the diamonds dangling from my ears and wrist. My hair is pulled loosely into an updo, curls threatening to spill out from their restraints. Two have fallen and they rest in thin waves framing my face. The makeup I have on is stuck to my face for the foreseeable future. Rose made sure of that with each spray. This smokey eye isn't going anywhere.

"Yeah, just come with me to the lobby to reactivate my key? It rubbed against my credit card and it deactivated it," Alice says. We grab what we need for the night even though the dinner and our rooms are in the same building. The girls had transferred their things into Emmett and Jasper's rooms and had come back with Edward's things.

With one last look at his duffle bag, I wonder what the night has in store for us.

I find out my answer soon enough.

One look at him in the lobby hits me like a bolt of lightning. A revelation that smacks me in the face.

It's always been him.

I don't know why he's here in the lobby instead of in Emmett's room where we were meeting them. All I know is he's got a freshly trimmed haircut and the soft silver of his tie makes me want to grab it and pull it, and him, towards me.

I don't care who is here to see it.

I walk over to him, praying my heels don't fail me on the way, and the look on his face when he sees me tells me that maybe it's not just me.

Maybe I'm not the only one thinking that there may be more to us than just this proposition.

His words confirm it. They blow me away but it's the way he says it that makes my breath catch in my throat.

"Christ, Bella." He glances over at Rose and Alice behind me at the front desk before looking back to me. A shy smile dances across his lips as he rubs the back of his neck with his hand. "You're beautiful."

It's Formal Time!

Since most of you have been right about where this is going (seriously, some of you were spot on- woohoo!) I'm curious to see what you think is going to happen next!

Love you all. I'll be away for a couple of days so this is why I'm updating early.

Love all the reviews and recs. See you soon!