Hey everyone! This is an AU set in the same universe as some of my other stories where every character is younger and Callie and Jude have been adopted for half a year. For some context in case you haven't read some of my other stories, Callie and Jude's last home was with Jim Pearson where he was physically abusive to Callie. In this particular story, Callie is 9 and this is set at Christmastime. Callie is still adjusting to being adopted and Stef is still keeping her on a short leash so there is lots of potential for Callie to mistrust Stef's love for her and act out. Anyway, I'll stop babbling. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone!
It was the last day of school before holiday break and all of the Adams-Fosters kids were on edge. Jesus had been nearly killing himself with all of his efforts to be good in order to appease his Mom and Mama and get all of the Christmas presents he had asked for. While behaving at school typically came naturally to the rest of the children, all of Callie's resolve was about to be tested today. The bell rang, signaling the end of school and all of the kids filed out onto the playground. It was a crisp winter day - colder than it usually was in San Diego, so all of the kids were bundled up in coats and hats and scarves. Lena was meeting with the principal and construction crew to discuss plans for a few minor repairs that would take place in the school over the break so they were getting a ride from Stef. They had received strict instructions to wait by the playground and burn off some energy because Stef would be picking them up for last minute Christmas shopping and was running a few minutes late.
Callie weaved through the other students searching for Jude. She had decorated a gingerbread cookie at the end of her English class and wanted to give it to him as soon as possible because gingerbread was his favorite and she feared that Jesus would grab it if he had the chance. When she saw Jude's distinctive pink and yellow bobble hat sticking up above a row of other kids, she began jogging over to him. Jude was not alone. There was a boy from Brandon's class standing next to him and sneering with an entourage of other 4th graders behind him. What did they want with Jude? Callie wondered as she got closer.
"I bet he's actually a girl. Are you a girl, Jude?" The boy laughed. His friends chucked behind him.
Jude stayed silent. He slowly pulled the unicorn ornament he made in school back into his pocket.
"Woah woah woah! Don't hide that in there! Why don't you show everybody your pretty unicorn?" The boy laughed. Callie watched as he ripped the ornament out of Jude's pocket and threw it on the ground as it broke in half.
Callie snapped. She charged towards the boy, TJ was his name, she thought. "Hey! You get away from my brother!" Callie shrieked.
TJ twisted around but before he could come up with a comeback he was tackled to the ground, falling hard on the concrete.
Callie had him pinned down but he spoke, calling Jude the word her moms had said was the worst thing you could say to a gay person. Callie had heard enough. She punched him in the nose, drawing blood almost immediately. He punched her back, trying to wrestle her to the ground but Callie was stronger.
"You don't say that word! You never say that word!" Callie wailed as she threw punches at TJ.
Meanwhile Stef had just gotten out of her car and was approaching the playground to find her kids. She crossed her fingers that Jesus wouldn't be in any trouble. He was trying so hard to behave in school and at home and she just wished that today would be easy for her son. She saw Jesus run up to her. "Hey bud! How was today?" Stef asked casually, giving him a hug.
"Um, good. Callie is beating up a kid." Jesus replied nervously.
"What did you say, Honey?" Stef countered.
"Look!" Jesus said, pointing to a group of kids crowded around something.
"Oh god." Stef muttered, jogging over to the group. She was not prepared for what she was seeing. "Callie!" Stef yelled sternly. She was caught. Stef blanched. Callie had done some real damage on this kid. Stef rushed over to her and wrapped her arms around Callie, pulling her off of TJ. Callie kept swinging as tears pooled up in her eyes. "She called him a slur! She called Jude the f slur!" Callie screamed. "Stop it. You're done." Stef whispered in Callie's ear as she pulled her into a standing position. Stef held Callie's shoulders as she found one of the teachers by the school doors and informed them of the situation. She instructed her other children to disperse from the crowd and play quietly on the playground as she marched Callie to the car.
She opened the passenger seat door and wordlessly gestured for Callie to sit before she walked around to the other side of the car and took a seat. Callie sat still in the seat, stoic. Her eyes were glassed over. Stef looked Callie over. She could tell how apprehensive the girl was and how quickly this conversation could turn south. She needed to handle this carefully if she didn't want her daughter to become defiant.
Stef reached over Callie to access the glove compartment. She grabbed paper towels and their first aid kit. She pulled out the activating ice packs and poured water from her bottle onto the paper towel. Callie's lip was split and was starting to bleed and Stef could see a bruise forming on her daughter's cheekbone. She reached over and pivoted Callie so she had better access to her face. Callie was not making it easy, however, as she refused eye contact and slouched down in her seat. Stef held Callie's head and began to dab her split lip with the wet paper towel. Callie winced.
"Owww!" She whined as Stef set the ice pack on Callie's cheek.
"You should have thought of that before getting into a fight." Stef replied coldly. Stef watched as Callie became more closed off. She took a deep breath. "Callie?" Callie's eyes darted up for a second before pointing back down at her shoes. "Callie can you look at me please?" Stef tried again. Callie slowly moved her eyes to meet Stef's. The girl looked so stoic and closed off and Stef's heart melted for her stubborn daughter. Stef pulled herself over the console and moved to sit next to Callie on the passenger seat but Callie wasn't having any of it. She twisted and squirmed away, her hand fumbling for the car door handle.
"Callie. Do not even thinking about leaving this car." Stef said forcefully as she watched Callie back her hand away as Stef pulled her onto her lap. Callie still fought her mother's grasp. "Callie. Sit still now." Stef spoke again.
"No! I know what you're gonna say! You're gonna take his side! You're gonna yell at me for fighting and you don't even know what happened! You don't know what he did and you don't care!" Callie thrashed as she yelled.
"No, Honey, that's not true. I want to hear your side. I know that y-" Stef was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door. The other kids had come up the car. "Mom, the teacher said we had to leave the playground while they clean up the blood." Brandon piped up. Stef sighed again.
"Oh, god. Okay. Everyone get in the car." She escorted Callie to the backseat. Callie sat in the last row of seats with her arms crossed, looking out the window and avoiding everyone's stares.
Stef drove to the mall carefully, trying to keep the conversation light. She wanted a chance to talk to Jude as soon as possible since she knew he would have had to have been teased pretty maliciously for Callie to fight back like she did. She wanted this mall trip to be a treat for the rest of her kids, as they all had looked forward to this all week. As they all clambered out of the car, Stef tried to have a quick word with Callie but her daughter brushed her off and walked silently a few paces ahead.
The group of kids walked briskly through the store. Stef allowed Brandon, Mariana, and Callie to walk by themselves, handing them ten dollars each to buy presents. She then held Jude's hand and put an arm around Jesus as she walked them to an ice cream stand.
"Alright, babies. This is our little secret. You two can pick anything you want, within reason." Stef smiled down at them. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Jesus exclaimed! Thank you, Mommy!" He ran over to the counter to peruse the flavors. Jude was a little more subdued. He stayed by Stef, gripping her hand a little tighter.
"Mommy?" He asked quietly.
"Yes, Jude?" She responded.
"Jesus is getting ice cream because behaving in school is hard for him and he did it." Jude said, his face twisted in an inquisitive frown. "Yes, that's right." Stef answered.
"So then... why am I getting ice cream? I don't have a hard time being good in school." Jude said.
"Well it seems to me that you had a bit of a tough day. Would it be correct for me to say that?" Stef asked.
"Umm... yes. Sort of." Jude said.
"What happened, baby?" Stef cooed. "Did someone say something mean to you?"
"Yes, I think. I didn't really understand what he said to me. He was calling me a girl at first. But that's not bad is it? You're a girl and Mama is a girl and Callie is a girl and Mariana is a girl and our teacher is a girl too!"
"No, baby. Being a girl is not a bad thing at all. Some people who aren't making kind choices try and use that word to make boys feel bad. But there is nothing wrong with being a girl or liking things that some girls like. Is that what this is about?" Stef inquired.
"Mom! Mom!" Jesus shouted from a few feet away. "Just a minute, buddy! You're waiting so patiently!" Stef called back as she turned back to Jude. "Go ahead, sweetheart." She said, encouraging him to talk.
"Well, I made an ornament in my class today. It was a unicorn and I painted it pink cause I thought that's the best color to paint a unicorn and a kid in my class told his older brother at recess and then they started laughing at me. Then after school he broke it. Mariana has the pieces. Brandon said maybe it could be fixed." Jude stuttered.
"Baby, I'm so sorry that someone said those things to you. That was not right at all. You do not deserve to be made fun of like that. I am going to talk to Mama tonight and see what we can do to stop this." Stef said. "Was there something else?" She asked when Jude looked up at her.
"Maybe?" He replied. He gathered up the courage to talk. "He said something to me. A bad word. Callie told me it's a very bad word." Stef nodded knowingly. She had a conversation with her two oldest about slurs and how harmful they are. "I think I know the word you mean, baby." Stef said. "That word is terrible. It is used to single out people and make them feel badly about themselves for things they cannot control. That word does not define you, do you understand? That word does not define any of us."
"Callie said that people have called you that. You and Mama." Jude posed.
"That's true. People use that word when they are not kind enough to open their hearts to people who are a little different from them. It is important to be respectful to everyone. That's why we don't use words like that." Stef said.
"Okay." Jude accepted. Stef patted his shoulder. She told him that if he had more questions later that he could ask either her or Lena. She then walked over to the counter where Jesus was nearly bouncing off of the walls. "Okay, Jesus. What special treat do you want?"
Stef and the kids had been home for 20 minutes when Jesus snuck into Callie's room through the bathroom door. Callie had been told to sit in her room and wait for Stef to come up and talk to her and none of the kids were supposed to go inside.
"Hey." He said, somersaulting on the carpet.
"What are you doing here?" Callie asked.
Jesus sat up and shrugged. "I dunno. Was bored I guess." Callie rolled her eyes.
"Hey Callie? You know that Santa sees the bad stuff you do, right?" Jesus asked.
Callie didn't really believe in Santa. Spending your early childhood in foster care generally took that out of a person.
"Yeah, Jesus. I know about Santa." Callie smirked.
"What if you lose your presents? Or if Santa lets you have presents maybe Mom and Mama won't let you have the ones they bought!"
Callie didn't really care about the presents. Christmas hadn't been a very big deal since she lived with her mom and dad but she was so little then that she could hardly remember those Christmases. Jesus hung upside down off of Mariana's bed. He reached over to her nightstand, accidentally knocking a cup of water onto the floor. Stef came through the door. "Okay my little monkey man, time to go back to your own room." Stef shook her head, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and cleaning up the spilled water. Jesus trotted out of the room leaving Stef and Callie alone to talk.
"Callie." Stef began, moving Callie's desk chair in front of her bed and taking a seat. "Hitting is wrong."
"But-" Callie interjected but Stef held a finger against her lips. "I know that there was more to the story. We can discuss that, but ultimately what you did was wrong. You hit someone. That's not right. It's the same reason why hitting is not allowed in this house. Hurting other people doesn't solve problems, it just makes things worse. Like when your foster dad hit you. That was so wrong! You know that, yes?"
Callie nodded glumly. She laid her cheek against her pillow and turned her back on Stef, trying not to cry.
"Callie? We're not done talking yet." Stef said, standing up from her chair to turn Callie to face her. When she began moving Callie she saw tears in Callie's eyes.
"What's going on, Callie?" Stef asked, her voice softening.
"I am just like Jim. Aren't I?" Callie said, her voice breaking with a sob.
"No, Callie. Jim was a monster."
"I'm a monster too! I beat TJ up! I made him bleed!" Callie sobbed.
"No, baby. You are not a monster. What you did was wrong, but you are 9 years old. You have time to learn how to handle your emotions. You got into a fight with a kid your own age. That's not what Jim did. And you feel sorry! You feel bad that you hurt TJ even though he hurt your brother, the person you love most in this whole world. We have a lot to talk about, young lady, but you are nothing like your foster dad." Callie sniffled. She laid on her back and looked up at the ceiling. Stef brushed the hair out of her face. "I heard from Jude that TJ and his friends were saying some pretty horrible stuff to Jude. They called him the word I was telling you about."
"Yeah! They were being so mean to him! They called him a girl! Then they smashed his ornament! Then they called him that word and I was just so mad. You said that no one should ever say that word like that. And I told TJ that! I said that he should never use that word because it's really mean and hateful and awful! I told him!" Callie argued.
"And it would have been very helpful if you had stopped after that instead of hitting him, Cal. It happened after school ended and I was right there so hopefully it will just be handled without the school stepping in but TJ's parents might call and you're gonna be in a heap of trouble with Mama when she hears about this," Stef explained as Callie wrapped her arms around herself to try to self-soothe. Stef caught onto this nervous energy and moved onto the bed to cradle Callie. "You dug yourself quite the hole here, missy. But you have parents who are gonna help you make it better." Callie rolled her head so it rested on Stef's knee.
"Mom?" She whispered.
"Mhmm?"
"Is... uhh... Santa- I mean... Well Santa's not real is he?" Callie asked.
"Callie, Santa is real in this house. We love this time of year and we love giving presents and celebrating being together. That's the point of the holidays."
"Then does that mean I'm not gonna get any presents? Cause I was bad? No presents from you and Mama or from Santa? That's what Jesus said."
"Don't listen to Jesus. You'll still get your presents. You will lose some consequences and have some more chores because of what happened today but we will make sure you still have an amazing Christmas."
"But Jesus said that you don't get presents if you're bad. That's why he has been good." Callie retaliated.
"Let me tell you a little secret. With Jesus, we do have to give him an incentive to behave in school. Even if he makes mistakes, we still make sure he has a good Christmas. It's the same year round. Love and family are not conditional. You get our love always, even if you make a mistake. We talk to you, you apologize, you do your extra chores, and then it's over. Completely forgotten. And we don't love you any less."
"Ok Mom." Callie said quietly, looking up at her mother. "That's my girl," Stef replied before pulling Callie up by her arms and tucking her into her side. "Now let's go downstairs and do the dishes while we wait for Mama to come home and then we'll find Jude and let him pick the movie for tonight. How's that, babe?"
Callie nodded before wrapping her arms around Stef's shoulders and making her bend over. "No piggybacks today, baby. My back is sore from having to wrestle you so much this afternoon." Stef tickled Callie's ribs and guided her down the stairs. She knew that no matter what happened in the coming years, her daughter would be just fine.