by foot, it's a slow climb
chapter one.
:::
So. Let's get this straight - I didn't set out to derail any plot. I was a coward of the highest order, and a pragmatist to boot. The second I started hearing about Lans and Sects and Wen Cultivators, I noped right out of the thoughts of glory gained in war. I didn't want to gain fame and become a legend.
Legends suffered.
My second life was pretty much perfect - I was a legitimate sixth son of a tiny cultivator clan. My mother was a pretty, kind woman with a sweet face. My father was a stern man who secretly doted on his sons and loved his wife. They were pretty typical as parents go - I never got a lot of attention, despite being the youngest, but that suited me just fine. I was busy trying to relearn how to walk and freaking out over my brand new male anatomy to want much attention. Like I said - I was the sixth son. I was never in line to be anyone important.
My second childhood was spent cultivating - with average results - and planning out the perfect hideout to wait out the war I knew I was coming.
The problem was: I was the sixth son.
Which meant I had five very annoying older brothers whose personalities ranged from 'loud' to 'very loud.' I was the youngest by five years - a pleasant surprise for my mother; It's even in my personal name: Yan Xǐ - Late Joy. I was the baby — the smallest.
The target.
Children were the worst.
They say no plan survives contact with the enemy. Well, my plans crumbled along with my will in my twelfth year.
When the invitation came for one of us boys to study at the cloud recesses, I jumped at it. My mother was reluctant, but none of my elder brothers were interested. We were a tiny clan - it was only through my father's connections we had even one invitation. To turn it down would be a terrible insult. My father wouldn't hear of it.
Anywhere was better than dealing with my brothers for one more day. One year away from them sounded like paradise.
Even if it was in the lap of the plot.
I'd have to avoid the hell out of Lan Wangji and Xichen.
Easy enough.
(You'd think I'd learn.
Plans and enemies.)
:::
The Cloud Recesses were incredible. I could hear myself think for once in my goddamn life. The rules were many but straight forward enough. No tripping over cultural boundaries that didn't translate. No more awkward dinner meal being quizzed by Mother about the nice Fa girl down the way. A library to die for. No sight of canon characters anywhere, except for Lan Quiren, and Lan Xichen once.
When the year was over, I was going to cry. I really, really was.
I didn't get to know any of my classmates. As I said: Children are the worst. The threat of Lan Quiren kept the Lan kids in line, but the other visiting students hadn't learned enough yet. I was small for my age — still a target.
Still better than being home, though. No one suspected little old me to be petty enough to put snakes in their bed here. My brothers were wise to my vengeful ways by now.
I wasn't at the top of the class or anything. The classes were not hard, but old man Lan was a pretty good teacher. Standing out was an excellent way to paint a target on your back, and I was already one of the youngest people present, a scrawny twelve to everyone else's fifteen and older.
I spent most of the time I wasn't cultivating in the library, reading as many books as I could get my grubby little hands on. By the second month, the Lan librarian/gaurd took pity on me and let me take out a few of the less rare books out so I could read in my off time.
This would prove to be a mistake.
It was a beautiful day to be hiding indoors, away from the group of Jin disciples hunting for trouble. I holed up in an unused room across from the library grounds with a plate of snacks (bland) begged from the kitchens. Today I was making my way through Justice and Punishment: A treatise on the effect of sect rules upon the law in their respective territories. It was thick as hell but interesting.
Did you know that the Wen sect liked to burn people alive?
The more you know.
The door sliding open caught my attention. I glanced up, wary at the thought of those stupid Jins finding my hiding place, and then froze.
It was not a Jin.
Instead, it was the prettiest boy I've ever seen. He was probably the same age as I was, but infinitely more ethereal. He was carrying a fancy looking guqin.
His eyes were a shocking pale gold.
Lan Wangji stared right back at me.
Uh.
Maybe he'll go away if I ignore him?
...That would probably be too rude. The goal was indifference, not animosity.
"Do you want to use the room?" I asked. "I can move if you want."
Lan Wangji hesitated. "You were here first. I shall find another place."
Great! Problem solved!
I nod and turn back to my scroll.
Lan Wangji remained standing in the doorway, like a shadow of doom hanging in the corner of my eye. The seconds ticked by in total silence.
I broke first.
I looked up and met Lan Wangji's eyes. "...Can I help you?"
Lan Wangji startled, his spine going ramrod straight, and his eyes jerking from my book to meet my gaze. "Removing books from the library without permission is prohibited."
"Good thing I have permission then," I said, and held up the jade token the librarian/guard gave me.
Lan Wangji's body language went even straighter, but he didn't leave. He had one hell of a poker face for a kid. "You are reading Justice and Punishment."
That wasn't a question. "Yes, Lan-gōngzǐ."
"It is old fashioned and out of date. The better option would be the essay by Jiang WuJin. It is much more in-depth and more recent. It should be located in the same part of the library."
I blinked at him.
Wasn't he twelve? Like, actually twelve, unlike me.
Did twelve-year-olds read law treaties?
"...I'll keep that in mind," I said at last. "Thanks?"
Lan Wangji nodded sharply once, then turned and left as quietly as he came. The door shut quietly behind him.
Huh.
That was... interesting.
At least my first personal brush with a canon character was short.
Hopefully, it would be the last.
:::
It wasn't. Of course not.
It was like a dam bursting. Suddenly Lan Wangji was everywhere. The second I sat down to read, or study, or do anything - there he was. I'd accuse him of following me, but honestly - why the hell would he? I wasn't precisely important enough to stalk.
It just... kept happening. That was the reason I wasn't surprised when the door opened in the room I was practicing my calligraphy in, and Lan Wangji stood there.
He gave me a flat stare.
I glanced at the guqin in his arms and sighed inwardly. "Do you want to practice here?"
He nodded.
There really was no getting out of this, was there?
"If you don't mind, we can share the room," I said.
Lan Wangji hesitated. "Do not want to be a distraction."
I snort. "I have five older brothers. My concentration won't be a problem; trust me."
I've learned to read through pretty much everything that wasn't directly threatening and had, in fact, almost missed being on fire that one time.
Lan Wangji's face was still hard to read, but from the way his fingers flexed, I could tell he was unsure. I was getting better at understanding him.
"It's up to you," I said with a shrug and went back to my calligraphy. I was copying out the rules.
Lan Wangji finally stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.
"I'm Yan Xǐ, courtesy name Ruìzhì," I said, bowing from my seat. "It's nice to meet you."
"...Lan Zhan. Courtesy Wangji."
:::
It became a thing, studying together. Whenever Lan Wangji stumbled across me in an unused room, I made space for his guqin. It was almost pleasant, having some background music again. I missed the internet. Having Lan Wangji around was like having my very own Lo-Fi Beats to Study and Relax too.
Lan Wangji and I rarely spoke to each other. Once in a while, he'd take a break from the more difficult pieces and share one of my snacks or make a quiet comment on the book I was reading. He was quickly the most tolerable preteen I've ever met.
The year passed quietly by, and I could feel the end of my time in the cloud recesses creeping up on me.
I stared down at my book without really seeing it. One more month, and I would go back home.
I sighed and slumped, pressing my head to the table.
The guqin playing broke off.
Whoops, I forgot Lan Wangji was here.
I turned to look at him without lifting my head. "Sorry."
He turned back to his guqin. "Mn. What is wrong?"
I sighed again. "The guest disciples are going home soon."
Lan Wangji picked a few notes. "And?"
"I'm not looking forward to leaving is all."
I liked the cloud recesses. The air was clean, the atmosphere was quiet, and the food wasn't as bad as everyone said it was. I loved my new family well enough, but honestly? I wasn't the type of person who missed people. Either people were there, or they weren't. Out of sight, out of mind. They were friendly people, even my brothers, but they could also be a lot to deal with.
A discordant note startled me out of my thoughts.
I sat up. "Lan Wangji?"
Lan Wangji stared down with narrowed eyes at the guqin. "You are a guest disciple?"
"...Yes? Did you not know?"
"You had a token for the library. Also copying the rules. Guest disciples do not care for the rules."
"I like to read, and practice calligraphy," My mouth answered on autopilot. "Lan Wangji, did you think I was a new disciple to the sect? A permanent one?"
Lan Wangji glared down at his guqin. "Wearing the uniform correctly."
"...It was in the manual, though?"
He remained stubbornly silent.
I tried to think of something to say.
Why did I feel so bad all of a sudden? It wasn't like I lied to Lan Wangji. It wasn't my fault he just assumed I was staying forever.
The quiet stretched to uncomfortable levels. I had no idea what Lan Wangji was thinking about - only that he was unhappy about something.
Lan Wangji finally looked up and pinned me with an intense stare. "Do not want to go home."
"Not really?" I said automatic honesty. "I like it here. It's peaceful." My cultivation has improved in leaps and bounds in the year I've been here.
Lan Wangji nodded decisively. He gathered up all his music and his guqin in the blink of an eye, stood up, and made his way to the door. "Will talk to brother."
"Talk to your - about what? Lan Wangji, talk to your brother about what? Lan Wangji! Hey!"
But Lan Wangji was not listening anymore. He swept out of the room without even closing the door.
I stared at his retreating back. "...The hell was that about?"
:::
I figured it out soon enough.
Lan Xichen invited me to his office the next day. It was just as clean and minimalist as the rest of the cloud recesses. I sat gingerly while a young servant poured tea for the man sitting across from me and then for myself.
His gentle smile did nothing to set me at ease. Neither did his polite conversation. I did my best to channel Lan Wangji and be monosyllabic as possible. I liked precisely nothing about this situation. I didn't have a single clue why Lan Xichen would want to talk to me.
"I spoke to Wangji about your request," Lan Xichen said.
What request?
"Mn," I said noncommittally.
Lan Xichen's eyes crinkled with the force of his smile. "You sound like Wangji. I have to say that I'm glad to see him making friends his age finally. I worry about him as an older brother."
...Was I Lan Wangji's friend? We spent a lot of time together, but we didn't talk about anything. He recommended books for me to read, and I did the same. I shared my snacks with him. Sometimes he showed me how to play a particularly tricky piece on the guqin. Sometimes we debated the particular meaning of a rule in good nature spirit.
Holy shit. We were.
Lan Wangji was my friend.
Lan Wangji was, in fact, my only friend.
I somehow befriended Lan Wangji a full three years before Wei Wuxian even showed up in the cloud recesses.
I kept my horror hidden with a bland expression. "That is kind of you, Lan-xiānshēng"
He laughed, and it lit up his already pretty face. Good grief, the Lan men put everyone else to shame. "You don't have to be so distant, Yan Ruìzhì. Any friend of Wangji may call me Xichen-ge."
I would literally rather die.
Lan Xichen gives me an amused glance like he can read the thought. Maybe he can. God knows he has practice with Lan Wangji. "Yan Ruìzhì, I would be honored to offer you a permanent place within GusuLan."
Oh. That's what Lan Wangji was talking about.
What?
S-so I don't have to go back home? Could I be an actual disciple?
Could I get access to the restricted section?
On the one hand, the cannon. On the other hand, my desire to stay in the cloud recesses. Stay here in the clouds, or go home and go back to being the baby of the family.
Go back and stagnate. Stay and improve.
Lan Xichen continued. "I understand if you need time to think about the offer. It's a big choice -"
"I accept," I said.
There really was no contest.
Lan Xichen blinked, then smiled again. "I'm glad to hear that. Shall I send a letter to your family?"
"Please," I said, heart hammering.
There was no way they'd say no. Being personally asked to join a big clan like the Lan was an honor, even more than being invited as a guest. Mom would be over the moon. Dad would be gruff but proud.
Fuck the plot.
I was going to stay.
:::
After clearing up a few more things, such as where I would move too, and receiving an order for a proper set of uniforms, Lan Xichen went off to write a letter to my parents and I left the office.
Lan Wangji was waiting outside the door, his posture perfect as always.
I eyed him.
He said nothing.
"Guess I'm not going home after all," I said.
It was still hard to read him, but I thought I saw his hands relax slightly.
"You should call me Ruìzhì," I said.
He blinked.
I shrugged. "We're friends, aren't we?"
"...Mn."
"Can I call you Wangji?"
Lan Wangji nodded once.
I smiled. "Excellent. Will you show me to the tailors? I need to get my new uniforms."
Wangji's smile was tiny, but it lit up his face, much like his brother's had. "Mn. Follow."
I did.
:::
baby LWJ seeing another quiet kid reading an incredibly dense book: friend-shaped?
LXC: ! ! ! A friend! Go for it! :):):):):):D
YRZ: why are people hanging around me? Don't you know it's unpleasant? Stop?
:::
晏 Yàn - late / quiet
睿智 - Ruìzhì - wise and farsighted
禧 - Xǐ - joy
Personal name: Quiet/late joy
Courtesy name: Quiet, wise, and farsighted.
(AUTHORS NOTE: extremely minor edit 2/15/2020. just changed it from using birthnames to something a bit more formal. like. not even lxc uses lwj's birth name? not everyone's as shameless as wwx)