by foot it's a slow climb
chapter two
:::
One thing cultivation has taught me is how to be zen. When stupid bullshit drama happens - and it happens, oh my god, even among the Lan - I can just let it roll right on by and wave as it passes. Three years after I joined Gusu, I was holding on to that calm with my fingernails.
The plot was going to happen soon.
I had six months before the next round of guest disciples wandered into Gusu. I avoided the hell out of the previous two years guests - especially the Jins. They hadn't forgotten the... situation... when I was a guest disciple myself. The whole thing seemed to have spread out through osmosis to the entire younger generation.
We've settled on a mutual nonaggression pact, it seemed.
Anyway.
I was zen. I was calm. I was...
Okay, I was freaking out a little - but only on the inside. My outward expression remained in the patented Lan Resting Bitch Face. It took a year of careful study of Wangji and Old Man Lan to perfect it, but I did get it down eventually.
It worked exceptionally well as a people deterrent. I was very proud of myself for figuring it out.
The library pavilion was empty at this time of day. The rest of the Lan disciples were in classes or meditating by the libraries. By being the only friend of the heir's brother, I was able to dodge the seated courses in favor of 'self-study.' Ah, favoritism. I have to love it when it works out in my favor.
It helped that I was studying. Not, like what the teachers wanted or anything - I already memorized all the rules. I didn't need a refresher, thanks - but still. Studying.
The Cloud Recesses had been under siege before. The balance of Wen/Jin/Jiang/Lan was just that - a balance. When the power dynamics got screwed up, people do what people do: try to take advantage. It was only that the current power balance had lasted over one hundred years now, and everyone had forgotten it wasn't going to last forever.
Therefore: There must be contingency plans.
Wards. Escape routes. Something.
Screw the plot. There was no way I was going to let a bunch of morons burn books for their delusions of power. Disgusting.
Nearly silent steps caught my attention. I glanced up when Wanji stopped by my table but didn't sit down.
"You're late," I said, leaning my head on my hands. It was only for five minutes or so, but even that much was strange for the second Jade of Gusu.
Side note: I cannot believe the elders use those stupid nicknames for a fourteen-year-old and a seventeen-year-old. I know they do - I've heard them! Talk about unhealthy pressure.
I have to thank whatever gods may be for my being born a nobody from nowhere. The attention Lan Wangji got would've spooked me out of Gusu faster than you could say 'a plus parenting skills.'
(... I really, really lucked out with my rebirth by snagging the only functional parental units in the whole damn universe.
Even my annoying brothers were just regular annoying, not traumatizing.
Maybe I should go home for a bit and say hi.)
Wangji merely stared down at me.
Ah, one of those days, huh?
Sometimes Wangji had trouble putting his words together. The only thing to do was wait until he found the right combination. I was much better at reading him at almost two years of friendship. Something was bothering him. He'd tell me when he was ready and not a moment before. Trying to get information out of Lan Zhan was like pulling teeth. I could push, but that wasn't the kind of relationship we had. Ours was a friendship of companionable silence.
"Sit," I said. I wasn't going anywhere.
Wangji shifted. "Cannot. Come to say goodbye."
"Goodbye?"
"Brother allowed it," He sounded almost defensive. "Will not see you. Seclusion."
I raise my eyebrows at Lan Zhan. "You're going into seclusion?"
"Mn."
"How long?"
"A year."
I sat up. "...That's a long-ass time, Wangji."
He gave me a tiny frown. "Do not swear."
At fifteen, Wangji's radiant youth was slowly transitioning to a beauty that could bring down a nation. It was like a light came from within him. The story I remembered had a thousand adaptations, but not a single one of them captured just how pretty the second Jade of Gusu was.
It was hell on my hormones.
I waved that away, standing up, and studying my friend's perfect face. "Did the elders put you up to this? A year is a long time for a fourteen-year-old. Even Lan-shixiong didn't do more than a few months when he was our age."
Wangji stared down at me for a moment before taking a tiny step back. Ah, too close? Just like his words, Wangji's personal bubble had fluctuations in it. Some days he didn't mind if I knocked my shoulder into his, but some days even five feet of space was too little.
I took a step back as well and gave him an apologetic look, but he wasn't looking at me anymore. He stared down at the ground; the tips of his ears were faintly pink. "No elders. Personal reasons. Uncle approved."
Hm. Even if Lan Qiren's parenting skills left much to desire, he definitely wouldn't endorse anything that would hurt Wangji's cultivation permanently.
Wangji wouldn't lie.
...It was probably fine, then?
"Well, if teacher Lan says it's okay…" I shrugged. "Have fun with that, I suppose. If anyone can do it, Wangji can. I was planning to be out of the Cloud Recesses for a little bit anyway, and I guess this gives me even more reason."
Wangji looked up. "Night hunts?"
"Yeah. I might as well do something productive while waiting for you."
A crease formed between his eyebrows. "Who."
I blinked. "Who… am I talking with me?"
"Mn."
A fair enough question. A year ago, Wangji and I passed the test to lead our night hunts. I'd mostly gone out with him as a partner. I wasn't close to anyone else in Gusu. They all gave me weird looks I couldn't understand sometimes, especially the younger students.
I shrugged again. "No one. I got a pass to go solo like a month ago."
GusuLan has a series of tests for disciples to pass to prove their competence. There were four in total: one to show that a disciple was ready to go on hunts as part of a group under the supervision of a senior disciple, one to go out in groups without a senior disciple, one to go out in pairs without supervision, and the last one to go out on solo hunts.
Wangji and I both passed the third test about a couple of months ago, and we've been in and out of the Cloud Recesses as a consequence. Contrary to my dislike of fighting, I enjoyed night hunting. It was a tangible way of solving a problem and making people's lives better.
I wasn't the do-gooder type, but night hunts were satisfying.
Wangji stared at me, face flat but somehow displeased. "Did not inform me."
"I figured your brother would tell you. Lan-shixiong is the one who did my practical."
The fourth test was a three-part test — first, the written, which was about one hundred questions long and covered basic situations and talismans. The second part was a sort of survival test, where foraging and natural remedies were important. The third was a physical where I had to hold my own against a senior disciple for ten full minutes.
I swear to god that when Lan XiChen was revealed to be my opponent, my life flashed before my eyes. He wasn't called the First Jade for nothing.
"Your brother was scary, Wangji," I complained. "It felt like he was trying to kill me for real. He didn't go easy on me at all. My bruises had bruises."
"Cannot go easy on you. Dangerous outside Gusu," Wangji said. "You fought brother and passed?"
"Yeah."
He stared at me, and I stared back at him. There was some intense eye contact going on.
I guess it was the staring contest time?
Okay.
Finally, Wangji looked away. "I will work harder."
Harder at what?
Sometimes I don't get him. I still knew better than to ask by now, though. Wangji said all he was going to say on the subject.
"Of course," I agreed anyway. Wangji was very hardworking by nature.
"Must return to uncle."
"Alright," I smiled at him. "I'll see you in a year. Oh, will you be able to get letters? I can send some while I'm out."
Wangji looked almost conflicted. "... Will ask my brother to deliver them."
I'm struck with the sudden urge to hug Wangji, my kind, awkward friend, but I push it down. He doesn't like physical contact. I try to accommodate that and only touch him on days where he can stand it. I was reluctant to get involved with him at first because of the whole plot thing, but he grew on me like some beautiful fungus. Wei Wuxian called him too good, and it was pretty much right. Wangji was just too good.
"I'll write to you," I promise.
Wangji's shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit. "Mn. One year."
"One year," I agree. "I'll see you then."
:::
Lan Xichen was the only one to see me off - which is one more person than I expected. The only thing I did to notify the sect I was leaving at all was submitting the paperwork for a year-long training trip, something that let the sect know I wasn't going rogue.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked, that worried elder brother tone in his voice. It was enough to make anyone guilty.
Fortunately, I'd built up an immunity. "I'll be fine. I've been on night hunts before."
"Yes, I remember," Lan Xichen said. "How long did you spend in the medical ward last time? Three weeks?"
Ah. Right.
"A week. I only got a little impaled," I said. "The other two weeks were just because it was interesting seeing how the healers used spiritual energy."
Now Lan Xichen just looked like he was laughing at me. "Of course. Remember to write every other week at least. Do you have enough money? If you ever need more, send me a message, and I'll have more arranged. Do you need more talismans? Or sword oil? Make sure you take care of your blade."
Efforts at not being adopted by Lan Xichen: a miserable failure.
It was hard to be mean to him! He was just too lovely! Too sincere! Please stop, Xichen-ge, your fragile shidi can't take it!
It made my teeth ache.
"I'll be fine," I patted the sword on my back. "I have Sānshēng Yǒuxìng with me."
It was a beautiful sword from the same forge in my hometown that all my family used. The design was clean and straightforward, with no flashy engravings or designs. My parents did know me.
Yeah, I named my sword 'incredibly lucky.' Well, to be accurate, a direct translation would be 'three lifetimes of blessings.' It was a mouthful, but I loved it.
If Wei Wuxian got to name his sword something stupid, so did I.
Besides, I needed all the damn luck I could get.
Lan Xichen laughed. "Sansheng is a good sword, but I worry."
I roll my eyes. "I'll be fine. Go do your job," I made shooing motions at Lan Xichen. "Don't you have a sect to run? Go do important, leaderly things."
"Are you not part of the sect I must care for?" Lan Xichen asked, amused.
"I'm just one student, Lan-shixiong, and you have more important things to worry about," I hurried on before he could say something teeth-rotting nice about me. "I want to make it to the next town over before nightfall, so I do need to go. I'll write to you in a week. Give your uncle my regards."
"Not Wangji?"
"I already said bye to him."
Lan Xichen smiled. "Of course you did."
I drew my sword with a twitch of my fingers and made it hover by my feet. God, cultivation was so cool. If nothing else ever makes up for being reborn, being able to fucking fly was good enough for me.
Lan Xichen sighed. "Very well. You and Wangji are both growing up so quickly. Be safe. Wangji will be very upset if you get hurt like last time."
I waved off the concern and stepped onto Sansheng Youxing. "I'll be fine. I never make the same mistake twice. I'll probably get injured in some new and interesting ways! I might get cursed or something next time. That'd be fun."
I could test out my ability to heal myself with spiritual energy.
An alarmed look crossed Lan Xichen's pretty face. "Ruizhi, maybe this isn't such a good idea-"
"See you in a year!" I yelled out, already taking off.
Freedom!
:::
Time passed in a blur. I decided on a spiral outward from Cayi town, working out in the more rural areas that didn't see many cultivators. The people were grateful to have some help, and I fought some pretty fascinating malevolent creatures. I sent back letters every other week for Wangji, letting him know what I was doing and how much fun I was having.
I never got any letters back, but that was fine. I was having too much fun to care about much. This new life was so full of magic my old world never had. In my past life, everything was explained and explored.
No more worlds left to conquer and all that jazz.
That's not to say there weren't some annoyances to night hunting. Mostly in the form of other sects. If a cultivator from one sect stumbled into a hunt in another sects territory, it was customary to inform the sect what exactly went down so everyone could be satisfied nobodies t.
If they weren't going to take care of their territory, did they deserve to keep it? Inquiring minds wanted to know.
Looking at you, LanlingJin.
Fucking politics. Politics were the reason I was making my way (downtown) up the stairs to Carp Tower. I chased a vicious ghost across territory lines between Gusu and Lanling. It was an intelligent ghost - I got the impression that it crossed lines like that on purpose. Probably counting on the cultivators chasing it to be too worried about boundary lines to continue with the hunt, which left the ghost-free to keep terrorizing its little area of influence.
I killed it super dead.
Better to ask forgiveness than permission.
Now here I was, on the steps leading up the Jins' eyesore of a tower at dusk. I swear it looked even more vulgar and pretentious than usual. Who used that many gold decorations? Who arranged poppies next to marigolds?
Who gilded the steps to their tower?
Morons, that's who.
I was so busy thinking about how much money was wasted on the steps that I completely blanked out.
A flicker of cloth caught my eye.
My hand shot out without permission and snatched it up.
Something heavy thumped into my chest. I steadied myself automatically with Sansheng as a counterbalance, and that's the only reason I didn't fall back down the stairs.
I blinked down at the boy in my arms.
He was trembling like a leaf, and his hands fisted in my uniform. He wore a roughspun tunic favored by the ordinary people, and his hair was disheveled. His eyes were wide, and his face pale. I set him down on his feet and gently untangled his hands from my uniform. A bit of blood trickled down from a cut on his forehead.
A spark of spiritual power was enough to heal the cut without a scar. It was the first time I used my spiritual power to heal anyone other than myself. It felt kind of like pushing my way through molasses. Was that because the young man was a Civilian, or did it always feel like that?
"Be more careful in the future, Sir," I said. "That could've been a nasty fall."
The young man opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
I gently moved him out of the way. Usually, I'd stick around and make sure he was okay, but I didn't want to spend any more time in Lanling than I had too. I swear it had a stink to it, and I didn't need the smell of money clinging to my clothes.
Wangji would probably smell it on me and Disprove in my general direction.
I'd have to leave my report with a deputy or senior disciple and book it before anyone I couldn't run away from noticed. Please direct any questions to Lan Xichen of Gusu.
His brotherly protectiveness could finally do something useful for me!
Sometimes, I wonder where my optimism comes from.
I barely clear the top of the steps before I run into Sect Leader Jin. He blinked at me, clearly startled as I felt.
Mechanically, I execute a perfect bow. "Respect to Sect Leader Jin. This disciple is called Yan Xi, courtesy name Ruizhi."
Sansheng, you're useless.
I see a broad, incredibly fake smile break out over his face. "Such a polite young man! No need, no need. Come, straighten up. What brings a member of GusuLan to my humble tower? Did the invitations make it on time after all?"
I saluted again. "Begging Sect Leader Jin's pardon, this disciple regrets that he has been night hunting for the last year, and is not familiar with any invitations GusuLan may have gotten."
"Night hunting by yourself?" Jin Guangshan blinked. "How old are you, young man?"
"Replying to sect Leader Jin, This disciple has just turned fourteen."
"Fourteen, hmm. Two years younger than my son. You must be very accomplished to have gained Lan Qiren's permission to be out and about by yourself." He gave me a thoughtful look. "Yan Ruizhi, was it?"
Danger, Will Robinson!
I already hate this conversation and everything about it. I duck my head like a bashful kid to hide the grimace on my face. "Sect Leader Jin is too kind. Teacher Lan allowed me to be promoted based on my essays. I owe him so much."
"Essays?"
Hah, you fool! You've activated my trap card: Extremely Boring Academic Conversation!
I beamed up at him. "Oh, yes! You see, I did a comparative essay on the benefits of closed-door cultivation versus periodic trips to the cold springs and closed-door cultivation. You see -"
He lasts fifteen minutes of endless jargon, which was impressive. Even Lan Xichen only lasted ten the last time I had to use this spiel on him.
(It didn't work on Lan Qiren at all. He spoke fluent academic-ese and, in fact, beat me at my own game the last time I tried.
I wasn't lying about the essay. I had written it. It was a consequence of bringing my idea to Lan Qiren's attention and him being interested.)
"That's all quite fascinating," Jin Guangshan lies. "But if you didn't receive the invitation, why have you come?"
"Ah," I said as if I'd forgotten something. I bowed again. "My apologies, Sect leader Jin! I came to report on a hunt I finished. It crossed the border of Gusu into Lanling territory, so I thought I should come to make a report to LanlingJin."
"Gusu does deserve its reputation for being the most diligent. Did you come from the border for that? It's of no consequence," He waved it away. "Well, no matter the reason why you're here, I can't let you go without showing some hospitality. It's a night of celebration, after all!"
Fuck.
There's no way out of that without being unbearably rude. I am once again trapped by my worst foe: societal conventions.
"Of course, if Sect Leader Jin insists, this disciple can't refuse," I said reluctantly. "May this one ask what the celebration is for?"
Jin Guanshan waved one of his attendants forward. "Set up a table for our young guest by the other young men." He smiled down at me. "My heir Jin Zixuan has just turned sixteen today. Perhaps the two of you will get along in the future."
Numb, I salute. "It would be an honor for this disciple."
The rest of the night is a blur. I remember greeting and being ignored by Jin Zixuan. I remember being glared at by most of the younger Jin and ignored by the drunken older ones. Jin Guangshan arranged a room for me in Carp tower without asking. I didn't bother arguing. Instead, I removed Sansheng from my back and collapsed into bed without moving the covers.
I stared sightlessly up at the ceiling.
Jin Zixuan's birthday. Sect Leader Jin was hanging out at the top of the steps. The boy was falling — the forehead wound.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe boys fell down the steps to Carp tower all the time.
Maybe my timing isn't that freaking awful.
I drag a hand down my face. "God. Fucking. Dammit."
:::
Lwj feeling physical attraction towards yrz : hmmm don't like that
Lwj: time to do the reasonable thing and hide from my only friend for a year
:::
Canon characters: three
Yrz: Zero.
:::
about the timeline here... I think it works? jgy went to lanling when he was fourteen, and it was on jzx's birthday. i always pictured jzx and jgy as around the same age, with jgy as the younger one. jzx and jyl are around the same age and we know that jyl is older than wwx by a few years, which puts jzx at about seventeen around the gusu arc, while wwx is fifteen. *shrugs* it works.
also, fun fact: i didn't plan on having yrz meet jgy for years yet. the characters in question had other plans
Poor yrz. His timing really is that fuck awful.
Next chapter: Home again home again - what the hell is that thing in the water? Also, hi wwx.