by foot it's a slow climb

by Vroomian

So. Let's get this straight - I didn't set out to derail any plot. My plan was to lay low and stay away from canon. It's just... My plans tend to fail. Spectacularly. (mdzs oc insert. oc/lwj/wwx)

6. Women Are People, Jin Zixuan

By foot it's a slow climb

Chapter 6

Women are people, Jin Ziyuan.

:::

I walked Wangji back to the Jingshi after supper concluded. The air was cool, and the low buzz of the cicadas filled the quiet between us. He seemed tense in a way that I knew meant he wouldn't welcome conversation. I was alright with that. I felt a strange stillness inside my soul. One year and three months without Wangji's calming presence was hard.

So much, I thought ruefully, for not getting attached.

Inside the Jingshi, the two of us settled around the low table with a steaming teapot a junior set up just outside the main door. I wordlessly poured a cup for each of us. The cool scent sank right into my bones. It was almost like meditation. I focused on my breath. In and out. I waited for the tension in Wangji's spine to relax fully.

"So," I said. "Wei Ying, huh?"

And there the tension was again.

"Do not," Wangji stared at me with wary eyes.

"You're that familiar with him already, Wangji? That's very quick. Of course, I don't blame you," I said blithely. I might not want anything to do with the Wangxian epic romance, but it was still my god-given right as Wangji's best friend to tease him mercilessly. It was good for his character, I told myself piously, and also I was getting proactive revenge for all my future second-hand embarrassment just from being around them. "He seems nice. Very… touchy."

Wangji's ears went bright red. "Desist."

I gave him an amused look. "You like him."

"No."

"There's nothing wrong with meeting new people, Wangji. I promise I won't be offended." Mostly. I was used to being Wangji's favorite person, but I'd get over it. "He seems to like you a lot too."

Wangji jolted up from the table as if electrocuted. "Desist!"

I blinked at Wangji. It wasn't that the two of us never fought - we were friends, but we were also separate people with the differences in opinion that implied. Wangji preferred the guqin, I liked the erhu. Wangji thought that fried food was terrible and unhealthy, and I acknowledged he was right but ate it anyway. He hated it when I swore, and sometimes a good cuss word was the only thing binding my sanity to this realm. Friends who were afraid to disagree with each other were poor ones.

This was the first time he'd ever yelled. Wangji looked surprised as I felt. His face shut down, and he slowly lowered himself to sit again. He looked down at his hands, shame and anger in the bow of his head. I waited while Wangji searched for the words for his feelings. After a few moments passed, Wangji let out a puff of air. He shook his head. Unlike me, Wangji felt things so deeply, sometimes it stole the words out of his mouth and rendered him helpless and silent. This was more than just being unsure of his own words, or feelings. A moment passed, but Wangji said nothing.

"Wangji, what's wrong?" I asked quietly.

He took a shuddering breath. "Do not say such things. Do not like him. Cannot like him. I… I cannot-"

I blinked. "He's not that bad. I think he'd make you a good friend."

Wangji stilled. "Friend."

"Yes," I said. What the hell was - "Oh. You…dodon't want him to be just a friend. You like-like him." I said, like a five-year-old.

Wangji flinched.

Okay! Okay, I guess I saw this coming!

I already knew this, why the hell am I still surprised? I guess - I knew this was coming, but I didn't expect Wangji to get over the denial stage so fast? Didn't it take three full years and a war for him to accept the gay in the canon?

I frowned. "Wangji, why can't you like Wei Wuxian?"

Sure, he was kind of an obnoxious brat, but he was also, objectively, fine as hell. He was talented, funny, good-natured, and kind. Anyone would be pleased to call him husband.

Wangji looked at his tea like it contained the secrets of the universe. "Wei Ying teases. Wei Ying is… unruly. Rude. Unsuitable. Says I am boring, old fashioned. Dislikes me. Uncle dislikes him. Wei Ying is a m-man. Cannot like Wei Ying. It is…immoral"

I blinked. "Immoral? Why would it be...ah."

Right, right. Ancient fantasy china is ancient fantasy china.

I kinda - forgot homophobia was a thing? In my hometown in Zhejiang, it wasn't an issue. My dad became the village head after he retired from being a soldier, and he listened to Grandmothers. Grandmother wouldn't put up with homophobia- her worldview was much more liberal due to her years as a prostitute. My eldest brother married his husband before my fourth birthday, and they were as gross and in love as ever eleven years later. I knew it was bullshit, but Wangji wasn't raised with that knowledge.

My 'emotional conversation' alarm was blaring. I just wanted to tease Wangji; how did this turn into him coming out to me? Why was everything so fucking dramatic with cultivators? It was unbearable and I wanted a refund.

Time! to! escape!

"Well," I said with determined cheerfulness, standing up and brushing imaginary dirt off my new robes. "If you say so, I believe you! It's almost time for curfew anyway. I should get back to my room - "

Wangji caught my sleeve. "Do not… do not leave again."

...God. Dammit.

What he said was 'do not leave' but I could hear what he meant loud and clear. Do not hate me. Do not leave me behind. Do not leave me alone again.

What was with this high-power attack, Wangji? When did you're emotional manipulation level up? How am I supposed to leave when you look like that?

"Let's go to the roof," I said, instead of crying out of frustration.

I just wanted to return Wangji's clothes.

Why?

He meekly followed me as I gathered up the tea set on a tray, walked out of the Jingshi, and jumped up onto the roof of the Jingshi with a brush of spiritual energy. Curfew was in half an hour. The only noise was the call of insects and night dwelling birds drifting in the night. We settled sitting side by side, the tea set balance on the main support beam. Spending time up on the roof of the Jingshi developed early on in my friendship with Wangji. Some days, having someone inside his personal quarters made Wangji bristle like an alley cat, and I was too itchy to sit indoors. It was a compromise.

I looked out over the blue tile roofs of the Cloud Recesses and felt a bubble of peace rise up from my heart. It was beautiful. I loved it. I handed Wangji his tea. He accepted it with careful hands. His shoulders were still tight, and he wouldn't look me in the eyes.

I can almost feel my skin breaking out in hives. I wasn't a naturally comforting person. My response to other people's emotions was 'I would prefer not to, thanks'. Where did I even start? Did I just… tell the truth? I didn't care that Wangji was gay because it didn't really have anything to do with me, personally. Also, I was very, very bisexual myself.

Please feel better so I could forget this situation ever happened, I try to urge Wangji telepathically. He continued to look pale, tragic, and beautiful.

Clearly, I wasn't going to get out of this.

"Okay," I said. Good start. Okay was a nice, neutral word. "Okay. You know that I don't give a shit if you're a cutsleeve, right?"

"Do not swear," Wangji said instantly. Progress! His tone was faint though, and he stopped studying his tea like it contained the secret to immortality."I am not -"

"The reason why I don't care," I said over his lies. "It's because I'm also a cutsleeve."

Utter silence.

Uh, that sure was some expression, Young Master Lan.

It looked like the last time I hit him in the face and broke his nose when we were sparring. He looked like he had a concussion, which meant that he looked slightly confused for a normal person. When Wangji continued to be stunned, I went on. My heart was beating so hard it hurt. I wanted to jump off the roof and flee back to my hometown, bury my face in my grandmother's skirts, and stay there until I felt less like I was peeling back my skin to show Wangji my - ugh - emotions.

"Technically, I like both men and women," Okay. I could do this. Talking about myself only felt like self-mutilation! I kept my eyes on my team, because if I didn't look at Wangji, it was like he didn't exist, right? The only way I could do this was if I was talking to myself.

Things I'd rather do than have this conversation: Face off against the waterborne abyss again. Brave my mother's attempts at matchmaking. Spend a week trapped in Carp Tower with only a horny Jin Guangshan for company!

The things I did for you, Wangji.

You better invite me to your wedding; I won't stand for any elopement bullshit! I demand a critical role, and actually see you in red! If I don't get it, as your best friend, I reserve the right to guilt-trip you and Wei Wuxian until we're dead for real.

"You," Wangji said. His voice was oddly hoarse. "Lying is forbidden."

I rolled my eyes. "Why would I lie about this?"

"You have never - you do not flirt, with anyone. Even when others approach you."

And you do, Lan Wangji?

Also, what others? I can't think of a single time I'd been flirted with while in Gusu.

"Of course not. I'm busy! I have talismans and work for your uncle to do. I don't have time for romance." I said. "There's no reason to get involved with anyone right now."

"None?"

"None!"

Cannon was coming up soon. My heart was thumping against my chest at the mere thought. Sometimes I thought the stress of anticipation would kill me early - which might be preferable! There was a reason people didn't know their own futures. The certainty was horrible.

I can't stand knowing.

I just want to read. Was that too much to ask?

"Frankly," I barreled on. "I'm a little offended that you thought I'd care! That hurts a little, Wangji! Do I really seem like someone who discriminates over such a minor thing? Who you like doesn't change the fact that I like you," I gently nudged him.

What I don't say: I am on your side. No matter what.

I wanted to jump off the roof. Emotional honesty, ugh. I can almost feel myself breaking out.

Wangji was quiet. "Wangji is - Wangji is sorry. Wangji knows that Ruizhi is… good to Wangji."

And then he bows to me. Totally sincere, which was the worst part.

Thanks, I hate it!

"Okay, okay, okay, none of that Wagji. Up! Please don't ever do that again, it's way too weird. " I tugged him out of his bow.

"Show appreciation when -"

"- great favor is bestowed, yes, I know the rules just as well you do. This isn't a favor, this is just basic decency. You don't need to thank me for that," I shoved his drink into his hands. "Drink your tea. Curfew is soon."

Wangji did.

Thank god.

"When will…" Wangji trailed off.

"Hm?"

Wagnji stared into his tea, the tips of his ears red. God, he was so cute. Wangji was my favorite! "Courting. When?"

I blinked, but Wangji said nothing else. He didn't even glance at me.

...The ways of the Lan are mysterious.

"I have no idea. Not until after I turn twenty, at least." I said with a shrug.

Maybe never. Having a significant other was a terrifying notion. I could barely handle having one friend! Wangji and my family - and, fine, Lan Xichen - were enough for me. My heart was a tiny, hard thing. There just wasn't that much of it to go around.

Won't be until after I've run out of cannon, that's for sure. Maybe when Wei Wuxian died.

...Wei Wuxian will be dead in a few years.

I shove that thought down and grind it under my heel. I already knew that. Nothing's changed just because I've seen him smile.

This train of thought was too depressing to ride any further. I'm just gonna let it leave the station without me.

"Twenty," Wangji said. "I will remember."

...Okay? You do that, buddy.

:::

Despite my previous promises and Wei Wuxian's invitations, I did not, in fact, fight Wei Wuxian. Intuition told me that it was a bad, bad idea to get him more interested in me. Doubling down on avoidance was the only option.

Unfortunately, that meant confining myself to places I knew he wouldn't go. I spent a lot of time studying in my rooms, or in random empty places around Gusu - avoiding places with people. It was almost like being that feud with the Jin students again, except even more annoying.

Somehow.

Wei Wuxain truly lived up to the Jiang Sect motto 'Achieve the impossible'.

I managed to avoid other cannon characters for almost two weeks. Despite Wei Wuxian's best efforts, it was Jin Zixuan that broke my streak by cornering me in the library in a position I couldn't retreat from.

"Why do you have a kid with you?" Jin Zixuan asked with horror.

I looked up at him. "It's three kids."

It was, indeed, three kids. The kids - four-year-old Lan Shi, six-year-old Lan Jian, and eighteen-month-old Lan Hu all looked up at Jin Zixuan with equally solemn looks on their childish faces. Their tiny forehead ribbons were perfectly tied. You'd never think that Lan Jian was just hiding all his undone worksheets into books while I was pretending not to notice.

"Why do you have three kids with you?"

Good question.

"I am very good at taking care of children."

Apparently.

Why was I the go-to babysitter? Did I have 'knows how to take care of kids' written on my face or something? Could moms just smell it on me? This was one thing I hadn't missed about the Cloud Recesses.

Sure, I knew how to take care of kids, but that didn't mean I liked them. I had to learn! It was self-defense! My father's extended family was fucking enormous. My dad had seven siblings, most of them male, most of them with wives, children, and grandchildren of their own – and my Er-ge had children of his own. Not to mention all the times the village ladies dropped off their kids for some free daycare and schooling in the harvest season. Mom was a sucker for little kids and everyone knew it. At our house, you couldn't throw a stone without hitting a brat.

If I was gonna be stuck with the Third Jade reputation, shouldn't it make people too in awe of me to approach me or whatever? Wangji never got stuck with daycare duty! Not that I'm bitter about it, or anything. That was against the rules.

Life was so unfair.

"Do you need something, Young Master Jin?" I asked. Politely.

He blinked, then scowled at me. "This," He said. "Is all your fault."

Eh?

"I… talked to Maiden Jiang. After you left."

Oops.

"I take it that it didn't go well."

His scowl deepened, and he looked away. He muttered something too quiet to hear.

"What?" I asked.

"She cried," Jin Znxuan yelled.

The baby strapped to my chest started crying. Jin Zixuan gave her a horrified look.

The other children flinched and moved closer to me.

I will not punch the heir of the Jin clan. I will not punch the heir to the Jin clan. I will not punch the heir to the Jin Clan.

I gave him a look. "Shouting is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses."

He sighed. "Sorry. I've been - stressed."

I hushed the baby until, eventually, she calmed down enough to just sniffle.

"So," I said. "do you often make girls cry?"

Cause you're two for two right now.

He flushed. "No!"

"Shouting is forbidden in the Cloud Recess," Lan Shi echoed me. His tiny, sticky hand was clenched around my sleeve. Why are kids always snotty or sticky, or both? Even Lan kids. It was a mystery. A disgusting, disgusting mystery.

Jin Zixuan gave a wary glance. "No, I don't make girls cry all the time. Look, my mother is furious. She's making me write an apology letter!"

Okay. And?

I gave him a polite smile. "Apologizing when in the wrong is a sign of maturity."

"You have to help me with it- nothing I write is good enough for my mother. I've done hundreds of drafts. This whole mess is your fault. I only went to talk to her because you said I should!"

Bitch, did I take control of your mouth?

My stomach sank. He wasn't - exactly wrong?

Oh no. What if this had more consequences down the line?

"One must take responsibility for one's own actions," I said to the children. "What do you have to do when you've hurt someone?"

The two children exchanged looks.

"Rule three-hundred and fifty-one: Accept one's faults. Rule three-hundred and fifty-two: Be sincere. Mom says it means that one must apologize, and promise not to do it again," Lan Jian said.

Lan Shi nodded. "Apologize. Sincerity."

"Shinsheer," Lan Hu said, voice still a bit teary. "Mama."

I pat little Lan Hu on the head. "You remembered well."

Lan Jian ducked his head.

Jin Zixuan made a face under my pointed look. "Okay. Fine, it was my fault."

Damn, right it was.

"You still need to help me. I don't know why Mother keeps getting so offended over some random girl." Jin Zixuan sat down. Why are you sitting down, Young Master Jin? Aren't you, like, allergic to children or something? "Maiden Jiang got offended and I'm the one who gets in trouble? Do you have any idea what it's been like at home?"

No, really, why are you sitting at my table and bitching at me?

I can't even tell him to fuck off - there are three pairs of impressionable eyes on us. The two older kids have abandoned all pretenses at doing their homework in favor of watching the strange Jin sect member. GusuLan Children rarely had anything to do with members of other sects.

"Young Master Jin," I said with patience I didn't feel. "What, exactly do you need my help with?"

Jin Zixuan pulled out a piece of ragged paper and thrust it across the table. I gingerly picked it up, as one might pick up a ticking box. It could be a clock. It could be a bomb. Schrodinger's death trap. There was no way to know without looking inside. My fingers itched, the curiosity at war with my desire to run far, far away from this mess of a situation. It was going to be stupid, I could already tell.

I took a deep breath and unfolded the paper.

Maiden Jiang, it started in passable penmanship, My mother tells me I must apologize for upsetting you. I am sorry that you felt I was harsh - and then the letter just keeps getting worse. I read with a horrified interest.

How can one apology be so bad?

I set the letter back on the table as if it was a live snake. This was the result of one hundred drafts? How bad was the original?

Bomb it was, then. "Young Master Jin."

"Yeah?"

"Are you, perhaps, trying to start a war between the Jin and Jiang?"

Jin Zixuan blinked. "Is it really that bad?"

It really, really was.

"If someone sent this to my mother after making her cry, I would be morally obligated to feed them to wild dogs one piece at a time."

Jin Zixuan groaned. "This is so annoying. Mother is the one who wants to marry Maiden Jiang into the family - why doesn't she just marry Maiden Jiang herself if it's that important to her?"

He seemed honestly dejected. I'd be sympathetic, but mostly I was horrified. This whole situation was my stupid mouth's fault. I was, unfortunately, going to have to fix this.

Lan Shi patted Jin Zixuan on the back gently. "There, there."

"Is being married to Maiden Jiang that bad?" I asked.

Jin Zixuan sighed. "She's plain, and her cultivation is really low. What man would be happy with a wife like that?"

...That was it? Her cultivation was low and her face was average? Not even a normal person average, need I remind you, but average for a cultivator. There was a difference.

A little known fact of cultivation was that qi and golden cores improved a person's looks. Their skin would clear, their scars would fade a bit, and every part of their body would improve in health, from bones to teeth. I watched it happen with my brothers - they went from pimpled, greasy monsters to being handsome enough to trick people into marrying them.

Like all powerful men, cultivators married common women for beauty, and every generation got a little better looking than the one before. That was the reason someone pretty as Wangji even existed!

Jiang Yanli came from a long line of cultivators. Even if she was the ugliest cultivator known to man, she'd still be at least a seven to normal people. The fact that she was 'average' made her at least an eleven.

(For reference, I'd put myself at a nine on the normal person scale, and a solid five on the cultivators one.)

"Who cares about her looks?" I asked, exasperated.

"What?"

"There are many more important things to worry about."

Jin Zixuan's expression was dubious. "Like what?"

"Is she easy to get along with? Can I talk to her about my own interests, and can I listen to hers? Are our views on family, and children, compatible? Will I like her? Does she like me? Can she run a place as big as Carp Tower with the right assistance? Does she know how to budget? Is she capable of diplomacy? Is she kind?" I pressed. "That last one's very important."

You can't build a marriage on a pretty face.

...Okay, I might have a weakness for pretty, competent people but I wasn't stupid. I wouldn't base a marriage on a person's face. Probably. I had trouble thinking about being married myself. I'd most likely end up a scholarly bachelor like Lan Qiren.

If I was to be married, kindness was my only solid requirement. Kind people were worthy of admiration. As someone who was particularly self-centered - see the whole avoiding the plot and leaving hundreds of people, some of who I knew to their fate thing - I admired them deeply. Politeness I could fake, but kindness? It was beyond me.

It was the reason I had such a hard time not getting attached to Wangji and Lan Xichen. They were both terribly kind in their own ways.

Jin Zixuan stared at me. "Kindness."

"Kindness," I said firmly. "Is she kind?"

"I don't..." JIn Zixuan looked away. "She didn't, um. She didn't stay very long. But she seemed nice?"

"Nice is a good place to start. Look, do you even know what Maiden Jiang likes? What she dislikes?"

"...I don't."

Thought so. "Look, you want your mother to cancel the engagement?"

He blinked. "...Yes? I guess."

"Get to know your fiance then. Make an effort."

"Why would I do that? It'd only encourage her."

God save me from teenagers with no grasp of subtlety. "Because, Young Master Jin, right now all your mother sees is a child throwing a tantrum. If you want her to take you seriously, then be serious. Get to know your fiance, learn about her as a person - not as an abstract concept. Then, if you two don't mesh, you can go to your mother and honestly say that you don't think the marriage will work out. If you tell her seriously, she'd probably lift it. As your mother, she wants you to be happy."

He stared at me. "...Would that… work?"

I have no idea. Did it matter? By the time he got to know Jiang Yanli, he'd probably be embarrassingly in love with her, judging from what I knew.

The engagement would be broken soon enough, and then it wouldn't matter! I wasn't expecting him to listen to my advice anyway.

"How would one go about getting to know a girl," Jin Zixuan said, faux casually. "Not that I need help. I just thought you might have a meager amount of insight."

I restrained myself from rolling my eyes and tap the paper inf front of him. "You can start with an apology first."

He flushed. "Right."

:::

Of course, I end up helping Jin Zixuan with the apology. I wasn't going to be responsible for a war between the Jin and the Jiang just because I couldn't keep my stupid mouth shut. I resentfully walked the spoiled princeling through making an apology that wasn't a garbage fire. This stupid situation was cutting into my talisman time!

Lan Shi and Lan Jian's parents came to pick them up as the day wore on, but Lan Hu remained with me for a while longer. I knew her mother, one of the healers on the woman's side, was attending some sort of meeting so I wasn't surprised. Lan meetings tended to drag. I let the baby nap on my chest in a makeshift sling. I kept one eye on my work and one eye on Jin Zixuan as he struggled with the apology.

It really was a struggle for him. It was almost impressive - everything he said came out insulting, arrogant, or arrogantly insulting. I would bet actual money he'd never apologized to anyone not directly related to him in his life.

Despite that, irritatingly, I found myself liking him a bit.

He wasn't a bad kid; he was just spoiled rotten by both his parents as the only legitimate child and heir. Jin Zixuan had a biting sense of humor, and he was hilariously bad at conversation. Like, worse than Wangji. It was impressive. I could tell he didn't talk to many people outside his own sect. That was probably going to be a problem in the future when he took over as… Sect… leader…

Ah.

Imma just shove that thought into the 'not my problem' pile and forget about it. Like, forever.

...I wish I could stop thinking about it.

Draft after draft littered the small table, each just barely more acceptable than the last. If I had to explain to Jin Zixuan one more time that no, he couldn't just blame Jiang Yanli for being emotional, I was going to kill him. Jin heir or not, I was insulted on behalf of my former gender.

"Women are people, Jin Zixuan," I said, rubbing my forehead. "Please don't imply that she has no feelings," I called him by name because there was only so much distance I could maintain while calling him a fucking idiot (politely) for the fifth time in an hour.

"A-Xi? What are you doing with Jin Zixuan? You'll call him by name, but you won't call me Wei Wuxian?" A voice said over my shoulder. "A-Xi, how could you!"

Jin Zixuan blanched and quickly gathered up the drafts of the letters.

Fuck. My. Life.

"Young master Wei," I said. "What a surprise."

Wei Wuxian threw himself down at the table, a scowl on his face that would be more at home on Jiang Cheng. He gave Jin Zixuan a very unfriendly look.

"What's so good about him, ah? He's just a stupid peacock," He said. "It's so unfair, A-Xi. I'm your friend!"

Since when?

Jin Zixuan saves me from having to answer that with his own scowl. "Why on earth would anyone be friends with someone so rude?"

"You're lecturing me on being rude? At least I don't go around making other people's sisters miserable!"

Jin Zixuan flushed. "That's - that's none of your business, you cretin! And at least I don't go around calling people by their personal names without permission! Were you raised by wolves?"

Wei Wuxian flinched and glanced around as if expecting the words to summon dogs out of the ether. "Don't mention dogs, you stupid peacock - and anyway, it's not like A-Xi cares. I can call him whatever I want because I'm just that charming!"

I did, in fact, mind. I kept my mouth shut, though.

Maybe if the two of them bitched at each other enough, both of them would get angry and storm off. I would have the library to myself again. Well, myself and the child leaning against my chest. I might just change my mind about children - at least Lan Hu was quiet. The girl watched the two idiots bicker with one chubby hand in her mouth and the other bunched up in the collar of my robe.

I kept my head down and focused on my work.

Let the two of them argue. It's got nothing to do with me.

If I keep telling myself that, it might even be true one day!

"-And A-Xi doesn't like you!" Wei Wuxian snapped. "Why would anyone like such an arrogant, rude jerk like you -"

"Do you listen to yourself speak? Unbelievable. It's almost impressive how oblivious you are. How does Maiden Jiang put up with you? Her taste in people must be even worse than I thought -"

"DON'T TALK THAT WAY ABOUT SHIJIE!"

Lan Hu burst into tears.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I'm not going to fight Wei Wuxian, but I really fucking want to. A flick of my spiritual power and blessed silence fills the library. Thank god for the silencing spell and for Wangji teaching me, even if he was technically not supposed to.

Lan Hu rubs her face over my robes, getting tears and who knows what else all over them. Gross. Children were gross.

"Shh," I whisper, "Shh, it's alright, Zhi-ge is right here. Nothing is wrong, what are you crying for, ah? Shh, shh. The rude boys won't yell anymore, I promise."

Eventually, Lan Hu quieted down.

"Zhi-ge," She said, sniffling. "Zhi-Gege."

"That's right, Zhi-ge," I run a hand over her back, soothing. "You're okay. Nothing scary is happening.

When I look up again, I find both of them looking at me, mouths open but no sound emerging. Wei Wuxian was flushed from the yelling and staring at me.

"If you two are quite finished," I said. "Allow me to remind you that shouting is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses."

Jin Zixuan flushed, and he gave a tight nod. Good. For all his fancy breeding, his behavior was deplorable. I expected as much from Wei Wuxain, the heathen, but Jin Zixuan? He needed to be better. How was he going to be sect leader if something like this broke his composure? Sure Wei Wuxian was incredibly obnoxious, but there were thousands of obnoxious people in the world - most of them in the Jin Sect.

Not that it mattered, in the long run. I supposed he wouldn't be the Jin Sect Leader in the future anyway.

...Sometimes I want to hit my brain with a rock.

Wei Wuxian - was looking at Lan Hu strapped to my chest, for some reason. His mouth was parted slightly.

I frowned. "Young Master Wei?"

Wei Wuxian jerked, met my eyes, and nodded frantically. A flush of anger tinted his cheeks. Please don't let this be the one time Wei Wuxian actually decided to hold a grudge about the silencing spell. I would actually cry.

I reluctantly broke the silencing spell.

Farewell, my peace and quiet.

"Jin Zixuan, the rest of your - matter," I said, glancing at Wei Wuxian, his face still flushed. "Is something that you must do on your own, I think."

Jin Zixuan opened his mouth, glanced at Wei Wuxian, and let out a long sigh. "Fine. I'll show you the draft before I send it."

"That would be for the best," I agreed.

I really, really did not want to be responsible for a blood feud between Jin and Jiang. I have enough on my plate with the fact that two out of the four people in this room will be dead in a few years.

...Stop. Focus.

Jin Zixuan left.

Wei Wuxian did not.

Of course. When have I ever been that lucky?

I set Lan Hu next to me with a set of inks and some inert talisman prototypes. They were harmless and he might as well use them up. A few weeks after starting my project, I was no closer to figuring out a stable design. I did have a few texts on the Wen Qi fire to work off, but it was still difficult to defend against something I'd never seen personally.

We Wuxian was oddly quiet. It didn't last long, but at least I got some work in before he started bugging me. Finally, when he was tired of trying to irritate me, he draped himself across the table in front of me, throwing off my work.

I will not fight Wei Wuxian. I will not bite him. I will not punch his pretty, pretty face.

Wei Wuxian pouted. "A-Xi, when did you and that peacock get so close?"

"Young Master Jin and I were acquainted before he came to the Cloud Recesses," I said. "Did you need something from the library, Young Master Wei?"

Please let me help you so you go away faster. I had work to do.

"I was avoiding Lan Zhan - I mean, I thought I'd look for a place to study. Because this is a library."

...He was looking for a place to hide after bothering Wangji. Trying to avoid punishment? Whatever. Not my problem. I wasn't in charge of discipline, thank god.

"Is that so," I said, tying Lan Hu's fine hair back, as well as adjusting her clothes so she wouldn't get ink on them. Lan Hu, preoccupied with her artwork, ignored me.

"Is this your little sister?" Wei Wuxian asked. "You're pretty good with kids! Your wife will be in for a treat when you get married!"

...Thanks for the random compliment?

Not that I ever planned on getting married.

Satisfied with Lan Hu's distraction, I shifted through the texts on the table until I found out where I left off before Cannon Characters decided to crawl out of the woodwork. "Thank you."

"So," Wei Wuxian said. Why was he still here? "What are you working on? Is that - talismans? Something for fire? No, that's not quite right. Fire, but with a spiritual aspect? Or, not spiritual, but made from Qi?"

Shit. I forgot Wei Wuxian was some sort of uber genius.

Wei Wuxian looked over the table with a rare serious look on his face. "A-Xi, why are you attempting to create a talisman that deals with Qi fire? Has... has anything happened?"

I heard what he didn't ask. Has anything happened with the Wen?

I didn't react. "Young Master Wei asks many questions."

Wei Wuxain laughed. "Yeah, Jian Cheng always tells me to mind my own business!

Unfortunately, though I have many, many talents, that isn't one of them!"

A quiet settled over the room like a blanket.

A tiny hand tugged my sleeve. "Zhi-gege, look."

I looked. Lan Hu proudly showed me a paper full of ink scribbles. I dutifully inspected it, because God knows I only made the mistake of not looking at a child's art once. The fucking tantrum - just the memory gave me a headache.

Lan Hu seemed content to babble about her work, tears forgotten in the way of all small children.

Wei Wuxian was quiet. "You really are good with children, huh?"

Against my will, I can assure you.

"I have five older brothers and a lot of cousins. They have children," I said. "It was self-defense."

"A-Xi!" Wei Wuxian's laugh was delighted. "Five elder brothers, really? I only have one elder sibling. I can't imagine having that many."

"It can get... irritating."

Wei Wuxian laughed again. It lit him up from the inside - like his golden core was shining out of his skin. He really was unfairly handsome. Wangji, the poor young man, had no chance against someone who shone so brightly. Even though Wei Wuxian could be incredibly annoying, it was offset by his inherent charm. He was hot and funny and nice! A triple knock out!

Ugh.

"I bet! A-Xi, A-Xi, can I help you with the talismans?" Wei Wuxian said.

Eh?

"I'm pretty good with talismans, I could help you!" Wei Wuxian tugged my sleeve in an echo of Lan Hu moments before. "I've never seen some of this stuff. Please, please, pretty please?"

I hesitated. Wei Wuxian was, canonically, an inventor. I could modify existing designs to do something more, but creating things from scratch? That took a level of genius I just didn't have. I relied on bullheaded, single-minded, harsh practice to keep up with Wangji. Wei Wuxian did that with no apparent effort.

On one hand: Wei Wuxian was unquestionably good at talismans. I had a whole story to prove it.

On the other: Protagonist.

As if sensing my weakness, Wei Wuxian leaned in close, his grey eyes bright, a mischievous smile on his full lips. "A-Xi, pretty please? I think we could make something amazing together."

I wavered. A war started up in my heart between my logic and my hormones.

Ngh. Boy pretty.

Of course, he's pretty! He's the protagonist.

Those eyes -

The! Protagonist!

"Wei Ying," A familiar voice broke through my warring desires before I caved. Huanguang-jun already earning his reputation of being where the chaos was. Wangji stood with his back straight, and his posture perfect. I could read the irritation in the flick of his fingers. His eyes were on Wei Wuxian - who was very much inside my personal space.

Uh.

I inched back from Wei Wuxian the slightest bit.

No violations of the bro code here, Wangji.

Wei Wuixian's smile went from bright to incandescent. It doused me in cold water. Right, right. Destiny, fated lovers, devotion, all that jazz. Wei Wuxian wasn't consciously flirting, much less flirting with me. He was just a natural airhead.

I let out a private, relieved breath. That could've gone pretty badly.

"Lan Zhan! I was just talking to A-Xi about his talismans!"

"Late."

"Eh?"

I sighed. "You're late for your punishment. Hello, Wangji."

Wangji nodded but said nothing. His attention was all on Wei Wuxian's suddenly shifty face.

Wei Wuxian leaned back. "Oh, right. Punishment. Totally forgot about that!"

Liar.

"Thank you for your generous offer, Young Master Wei," I said. "It seems that you have a prior commitment."

Wei Wuxian pouted at me. "A-Xi is so cold to poor Xianxian. Xianxian thinks that A-Xi should be nice as an example for the children. Xianxian wants A-Xi to play gently with him, not be mean. Xianxian doesn't want to copy boring old scrolls with boring old Lan Zhan - mph! Mph, mph!"

"Shameless," Wangji's voice was ice cold.

Xianxian should look at the thunderstorm on his future husband's face before he gets A-Xi Bichen-ed to death. I smiled my customer service smile at Wei Wuxian, polite and vapid.

"Have a good day, Young Master Wei. Wangji," my smile became real. "Shall we practice together tonight?"

Wangji glanced at Wei Wuxian, then gave a tight nod. Then he grabbed Wei Wuxian's collar and dragged the boy away.

RIP Wei Wuxian. I'll burn incense at your memorial tablet.

"Mph!" Wei Wuxian protested.

I looked at Lan Hu. "Boys can be very dumb. You should avoid them in the future."

The little girl considered this - then tried to eat her ink covered brush.

I hate children.

:::

Heey guysss long time no write! This chapter turned out at 10,000 words and i cut it n half. Then i added 2k more. So it's almost at 7k.

So.

You know. On the bright side ch 7 is nearly done?

People who said jzx would thank yrz: lol. Sorry jzx is a disaster human and it's gonna take more than yrz to stop him from putting his foot in his mouth, the moron.

Next time: drunken shenanigans! What is yrz like when he's drunk? ;) you'll find out