Author's Note: This story is a companion piece to the A is for AWOL chapter in Q is for Quarantine. If you want to read Blade's half of the story check that out.

F is for Flashbacks

It was the smell that had been the last straw…Maru had been able to keep himself focused on the tasks in front of him until he had been hit by smell of burning plastic and melting metal. He had been able to bare the heat rolling off the burning tanker and stay focused on stabilizing the helicopter in front of him. He was tines deep in Blade's side, when the full impact of the smell hit him, and he realized that the tanker that had just exploded must have been transporting aviation fuel…

Maru swore, and it was suddenly as though he was in two places at once. He could clearly see Blade in front of him, knocked unconscious, paint marred by the scorch marks of the explosion that had snatched him from the skies as he had been coming in for a landing. He could see the patient in front of him…but his mind was also a decade away, at another crash site, tines deep in friend that was too far gone for him to save.

The mechanic desperately wanted to scream as flashback rolled over him, but he managed to keep just enough control to be able to focus on which reality was the present emergency. He breathed as he focused on his training to do just enough to keep Blade stable, just to keep him alive, before he started the next step of triage. He was the only mechanic on-site, if he broke now more life could be lost.

Clinging onto whatever strength of will he had left; Maru continued his herculean task of responding to the aftermath of a tanker explosion alone. The smokejumpers had done a good job of pushing the civilians back away from the worst blast, but it a consequence of this was that the smokejumpers had taken the worst of the blast's force. The shrapnel damage alone would be a nightmare to repair but Maru didn't have the ability to focus on that right now. His vision was fading on the edges as the flashback of that fateful crash all those years ago threatened to become his only reality.

"MARU?" Avalanche's voice was hoarse, and the mechanic could tell that it hurt the little dozer to speak, but it was also filled with concern. Maru breathed and tried to force his eyes to focus enough to allow him to make eye contact. "YOU OKAY?"

Maru sat stunned for a couple of rotor beats, then decided that honesty was probably the best policy. "No, I'm not, but we don't have time to deal with that at the moment. What is hurting?"

Avalanche's wheezing chuckle at least indicated to Maru that he wasn't dying, though given that the explosion had managed to knock him clean on to his side, he must be hurting pretty bad. "I SUSPECT I AM IN GOOD SHAPE COMPARED WITH THE OTHERS. I WAS ABLE TO GET MY BLADE UP WHEN THE TANKER BLEW AND IT TOOK WORST PART OF THE FORCE. PINECONE AND DRIP WERE THE CLOSEST TO THE EXPLOSION AND I KNOW THAT DRIP TOOK IT BROADSIDE, SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK ON THOSE TWO FIRST."

"Thank you." Maru breathed, knowing that the words couldn't possibly communicate the gratitude that the mechanic felt at that moment. The ghostly of smoke from a long-charred helicopter was now following him around, and he had desperately needed some clear instructions to help him navigate through it.

Drip and Pinecone were, in fact, in worse shape than Avalanche, but were also in better condition than Blade. This fact allowed Maru to perform basic first aid and meticulously patch what needed to be patched. It was not medical care that was up to his normal standards, but with his vision being swallowed by memory and the disorienting feeling of his consciousness being split into it was all he could manage.

When Hector, the mechanic from the road crew, and a couple of ambulances from the community finally arrived, Maru's mind was barely running on one cylinder. It took every last fiber of his focus to be able to pass on the necessary medical information to his replacements…then he did something he never thought he would ever do…he fled an active medical emergency.

The guilt he felt at leaving, was rapidly eclipsed by the utter terror he felt as his flashback began to eat away at the last shreds of his ability to observe his surroundings. He needed to go to ground somewhere safe, somewhere where his ghost couldn't harm him or anyone else. Luckily, Maru knew a place that would fit the bill…a road crew hut that was used to store winter equipment. Slipping inside Maru felt a deep sense of relief as he allowed the door to creak shut behind him.

Alone, Maru finally allowed himself to break. He allowed the flashback to consume every fiber of his being as he let himself process the fire that haunted so many of his nightmares. As his last conscious thoughts of the present faded, he couldn't help but reflect how fitting it was that his mind had chosen to ghost of Nick Loopin Lopez to be the vehicle to finally break him. It was, after all, August 6th…the anniversary of Maru's greatest failure as a mechanic…the anniversary of the day Nick had died in a configuration of flames just outside of Maru's reach…

Term- Flashbacks- Flashbacks are involuntary recurring memories. They are usually connected with an emotionally powerful experience from the past. Though they can be connected with any emotion, flashbacks are particularly debilitating for when they are connected to negative emotions such as fear, anger, panic, or grief. While in a flashback the person 'relives' the past moment so intensely that are unable to fully process the fact that the event is not happening in real-time. In some cases, it may be overlayed over the real-time sensory input causing the individual to experience both events in parallel. In other cases, the flashback may so overwhelm the individual that it is the only thing they are experiencing. Common triggers for flashbacks include smells and sounds, though some people can also be triggered by imagines or by returning to the location of the initial incident.