"Are you going to enjoy yourself or are you going to sit there and pout all day?"
"You wanna end up upside down in a pile of inner tubes, Red?"
There wasn't a single cloud in the sky. The sun was hot, but when the wind was blowing it was quite a pleasant day out. The laughter of families and friends surrounded all of them, although Jessica could hear babies crying in the distance too. This was all accompanied by the constant sound of splashing, as was typical at a water park.
Mary Jane and Sally Avril were lounging on their long chairs in bikinis and sunglasses, taking in the sun and relaxing. Jessica sat on the edge of her chair wearing a loose black T-shirt over her black one piece swimsuit. The group had claimed six chairs in all, towels laid across each of them. Jessica was trying to get herself to focus on the book she had brought with her. It was no use. She gave up and put her sunglasses back on, flopping back onto her chair with a groan.
"I knew this would be a bad idea," she sighed.
"You're just mad because they wouldn't let you keep your flask," said Mary Jane.
Sally let out a loud snore.
"Seriously?" said Jessica, rolling her eyes, "Again? Can we throw a towel over her or something to shut her up? And where the hell did Malcolm go? Is he back in that fucking lazy river again?"
"You need to chill out," said Mary Jane firmly.
Jessica grunted. Soon the two noticed some shadows looming over them. Mary Jane and Jessica lifted their glasses to get a better look at Liz Allan and Michele Gonzales. Both women were incredibly fit, which was clear seeing them both in their bikinis. Michele's was a black one held together by golden rings. Liz's was a black and yellow string bikini.
"Nice swimsuit, Watson," sneered Liz, "It's really brave of you to wear something like that."
Both Liz and Michele chuckled as Mary Jane looked down at herself, suddenly insecure. Jessica scowled at the two bullies.
"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" she dared, standing up off the chair and staring Liz in the eye.
"Oh no," feigned Liz, not even flinching as Jessica glared her in the eye, "The alcoholic washout is mad at me. Whatever will I do?"
Jessica felt a rush of rage as she tensed up and took a step toward Liz, who still didn't move. Michele, on the other hand, let out a yelp and backed away in fear. Several other guests and a lifeguard looked over when they heard the sound. Jessica stopped in her tracks, knowing how it would look if she followed through.
"Go ahead," whispered Liz confidently, "I dare you."
"Hey!" shouted Malcolm as he walked over, "What's going on over here?"
Malcolm had returned from his trip in the lazy river, still dripping wet. He wore only a short pair of black swim trunks and a shark tooth necklace. He was surprisingly toned. His abs were mostly visible and his legs were almost comically muscular for how skinny they were.
"Nothing," said Liz after a moment, "Just saying hi to Watson."
Liz walked away, Michele following behind her. Malcolm carried some authority at Empire State University, so he represented much more of a threat to Liz than Jessica did in most ways. Jessica nodded to Malcolm in thanks. As much as she despised being in his debt, he was the only one who could have handled that situation so well.
"What in the world was that?" mumbled Sally, slowly sitting up.
"Don't worry about it," smiled Mary Jane, "Go back to sleep."
Sally did. Then she started to snore again. Jessica rolled her eyes.
"How was the lazy river?" asked Mary Jane.
Jessica groaned.
"Don't knock it till you try it," said Malcolm with a smile.
"I'm about you knock YOU if you keep-"
"Come on, Jessica!" said Mary Jane, "There's gotta be something you can do here that you'll enjoy!"
"How about the water slides?" suggested Malcolm, "That's where Peter and Bobbi went, right?"
"Not my thing."
Mary Jane gasped.
"Peter!" she cried, covering her mouth to conceal a smile.
"Oh no…" sighed Malcolm with pity.
"Oh my God!" smiled Jessica with delight.
"Hi guys…" squeaked Peter in a falsetto.
Peter's cyan blue swim trunks were higher up on him than seemed possible. The waistband was up to his armpits and the legs of the trunks were hiked up into his crotch. The entirety of his pale thighs were exposed, made even paler by comparison to his slightly tanned shins. Peter himself seemed mostly dry, but the scrunched up swimsuit was dripping wet. His face was twisted in a permanent wince. Jessica's smile broke out into a full on cackle.
"What happened to you?" asked Sally.
"The Perilous Plunge happened," said Peter, voice still higher than any of them had ever heard.
"That's amazing!" howled Jessica with laughter, "You look like you've had your trunks fused to your body!"
"I think the netting is embedded in my colon," whispered Peter.
"Aw, Peter," smiled Mary Jane in endearment, "Everyone knows that slide is basically a massive wedgie machine."
"Well no one told us!" cried Peter indignantly, clenching his fists and turning red in the face.
"'Us?'" realized Jessica excitedly, "Did Bobbi go down too?"
"She was behind me in line," squeaked Peter, "She'll probably go down any-"
Jessica was off. She bolted away from her chair and toward Perilous Plunge as fast as she could. If Bobbi was about to get a massive water wedgie, Jessica wanted to be there to see it. She made it to the foot of Perilous Plunge, a towering 60-foot enclosed drop slide. The bottom of the slide opened up and flattened out into a long straight path to slow the riders down upon reaching it. This was accomplished with a massively powerful stream of water being blasted upward at the riders as they came down, slowing their fall moments before they reached the bottom. As Peter learned, the result from this was also one wicked water wedgie. Jessica couldn't wait to see Bobbi get one.
Jessica got her wish. Within a minute of her arrival, she heard the recognizable scream of her girlfriend as she plummeted down the slide. Jessica heard the scream become a series of pained yelps when Bobbi reached the bottom, sliding along the final stretch of slide with a face contorted in discomfort.
Bobbi had been wearing a cute blue bikini with white polka dots. The bottom of the bikini was a high waisted pair of shorts, while the top was more of a conservative bralette. As Bobbi slowly got up, Jessica doubled over with laughter. Bobbi's shorts had gone even higher than Peter's suit had gone, having been hiked up completely over Bobbi's boobs. This was actually convenient for her, since her bralette was now tangled around her head from the force of the landing. Both of Bobbi's shiny wet buttcheeks were clearly visible with the shorts forced so far up in between them. As Bobbi slowly turned around, body tense and moving jerkily, Jessica saw that the front of her shorts had been pulled so far into Bobbi that a few strands of her pubic hair were even visible. It was a hilarious sight. Other nearby guests were pointing and laughing as well.
"...ow" squeaked Bobbi.
"You look ridiculous!" guffawed Jessica, barely able to breath through her laughter.
Bobbi blushed and tried to pull the front of her shorts back down. No such luck. The swimsuit had been plastered to Bobbi's insides by the sheer force of the water. It was like a geyser had fired her swimsuit into her ass with the force of a jet engine. It was simply not coming out.
"...a little help?" asked Bobbi sheepishly, voice even higher than Peter's had been.
"Barbara Morse, Avenger and top ranked special agent," teased Jessica, "rendered helpless by a waterslide wedgie."
"Come on!" whined Bobbi, now trying to pull the back of the shorts out of her butt with no success.
"Say the magic word," grinned Jessica.
"Please!" squawked Bobbi, stomping her foot indignantly as her voice cracked.
"Please… what?" said Jessica.
"Please help ungraft my swimsuit from my insides!" squeaked Bobbi, having given up on fixing the wedgie herself now.
"One dewedging," smiled Jessica, cracking her knuckles, "coming up!"
"No, wait!" pled Bobbi in an even higher pitch, "Can't we find somewhere to- OOF!"
If Bobbi's voice had been at its highest before, that "oof" was her voice at its lowest. Several of the guests laughed at the sound alone. This was of course accompanied by Jessica yanking the suit out from Bobbi's rear end, which looked absurd.
Unfortunately this also removed the only garment covering Bobbi's boobs. She squealed as she frantically untangled the bra and shoved it down over her nipples, red in the face from the gasps and laughs of onlookers.
Finally, Bobbi adjusted her swimsuit back to its rightful place, though the elastic was partially limp from the strain.
"Thanks," whispered Bobbi bashfully.
"Any time."
"I was gonna go to the lazy river next," said Bobbi, "You want to come?"
"No," said Jessica, "I'm going to hang out here. I think I've finally found something to do at the water park that I like."
Bobbi shrugged and left. Jessica pulled up a long chair from nearby and sat at the foot of Perilous Plunge, pointing and laughing at every poor wedgie victim who was deposited at the bottom. She had a great day.
"Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think they're okay," sang Felicia along with the radio, "If they don't give me proper credit, I just walk away!"
Felicia Hardy smiled to herself and rocked from side to side in the seat of her convertible luxury sports car as she drove down the mostly empty interstate. 'Material Girl' continued to play on the radio as Felicia drummed her fingers on the side of the car.
Felicia had stolen this car from a mark in San Jose. That idiot had just left his keys on the bedside table. Felicia didn't even have to hotwire it. Now she was cruising across the country, looking for anything that might seem fun or exciting.
She was wearing aviator sunglasses and a black sundress, her nails painted black to match. She was wearing black wedge sandals with her toenails painted black too. She couldn't wait to make the most of this summer.
Felicia had barely managed to escape in the chaos of the prison break Francine had caused, sneaking away without anyone noticing until it was too late. She had laid low for a while, but now that the sun was out she couldn't help herself. She simply had to get back into the game again.
Suddenly the car's engine coughed, followed by a lengthy sputtering sound. Felicia immediately slowed the car down, not wanting to crash at 60 mph. She pulled over into the shoulder as the car slowed to a stop.
Felicia took her glasses off, got out of the car, walked around to the front and opened the hood.
"Great," she coughed sarcastically as black smoke burst out into her face, "Just great."
Of course that idiot's car had a shitty engine. He didn't know anything about automobiles, he was just a rich moron with cash to spare. He had probably not performed maintenance on this thing a single time.
Felicia sighed in frustration. It wasn't like she could just call a towing service. She'd be caught immediately. She was in the middle of the interstate with no other cars or buildings in sight. It was probably a several-hour walk to the nearest gas station or stop.
Felicia heard thunder.
"Oh no," she whispered.
The once clear sky now carried a thick black cloud that hung high above Felicia's head. She barely had time to look up at it before the downpour began. Felicia sighed as she felt her dress go from light and comfortable to a sopping wet mess clinging to her like seaweed. She watched as the deluge wreaked havoc on the topless car, soaking the upholstery and electronics.
Felicia sighed in defeat and dejectedly began her long walk in the rain to the nearest gas station.
"Wow, is that She-Hulk?" asked a woman.
"Of course it is!" said her friend, "How many giant green ladies do you think there are?"
"Look at those muscles!"
She-Hulk smirked. In her normal, smaller form this sort of attention would have bothered her. Whenever she transformed into She-Hulk though, that changed. She loved being famous, recognized, and sometimes feared. She grabbed a beer out of the sand and began to drink it.
She-Hulk was sunbathing on Santa Monica Beach, resting on a towel laid out in the sand under an umbrella she had stuck next to it. She was wearing sunglasses and a tight white bikini, one she knew would show off her physique. As She-Hulk, she delighted in flaunting her strength and appearance. Summer was the season for She-Hulk.
"Um… Jen?"
"Patsy?" realized She-Hulk, lifting her sunglasses.
The short redhead was standing a few feet away. She was wearing a cute high waisted bikini. The bottom was dark blue, had a ruched front, and several bright golden buttons on it. The bra was yellow with dark blue polka dots and twisted in the center. As cute as the suit was, it also made it clear that every inch of the poor girl's skin was bright red from the sun, except for a glasses shaped pair outline around her eyes.
"I, uh…" muttered Patsy, "Forgot to put on sunscreen."
"Good Lord," said She-Hulk, looking her up and down, "Did you also forget not to walk through a furnace?"
"...I burn easily," said Patsy, looking down in embarrassment.
"Stay here," sighed She-Hulk, getting up, "I'll go find you some aloe vera or something. You put on some sunscreen to keep it from getting any worse."
She-Hulk threw on her black shawl and went to leave, stopping and turning back to Patsy at the last second.
"Also," she added, "I wouldn't use your Hellcat suit until the burns subside. Summoning that thing produces a lot of heat and it could really damage your skin if you did it now."
"Got it," said Patsy.
Patsy glumly sat under She-Hulk's umbrella and started applying some sunscreen. This summer was off to a miserable start. Meanwhile, a distance behind Patsy, two women watched her from the shade of their own umbrella.
"Look who it is," sneered Nancy, far enough away that Patsy couldn't hear her.
"The loser celebrity turned loser superhero," scoffed Millie, "I can't believe she shows her face in public. Being Patsy Walker is about the most humiliating thing I can imagine."
The two laughed. Millie and Nancy were Patsy's former costars on the reality show Hungry Like the Wolfe, following the life of their friend Hedy Wolfe. They had never been particularly nice to Patsy, but when they were on the show with her they at least showed her the courtesy of pretending to like her. Now they just wanted to see her squirm.
"Did you hear what She-Hulk said?" asked Nancy excitedly, "Kitty can't use her claws right now."
"Seems like the perfect time to pay her a visit," said Millie.
Patsy hugged her burnt legs in close, wincing as the red skin rubbed against itself. She felt like such an idiot for forgetting sunscreen, but back when she had her money she never had to worry about it. Someone else always brought it with them. Every day she was learning new challenges of not being rich.
"Hi there!" smiled a tall boy with black hair.
Patsy looked him up and down. He was cute. She couldn't believe he was seeing her like this.
"It's… Patsy, right?"
"Yeah…" said Patsy nervously.
"Cool!" he smiled, "My name's Ian. I'm a HUGE fan."
"Really?" smiled Patsy.
"Yeah!" nodded Ian excitedly, "You're hilarious!"
"I- Hilarious? Really? I'm not much of a-"
"I love the episode of Hungry Like the Wolfe where they lock you in that utility closet!" he gushed, "That was such a funny idea! Good on you for doing that for the sake of the show."
"Oh," sighed Patsy in disappointment, "No, I didn't do that on purpose. They just-"
"Why, hello!" sang Millie, stepping between Ian and Patsy.
"Millie!?" realized Patsy in surprise.
"Oh my gosh!" gasped Ian, "You're Millie the Model!"
"Sure am," she smiled, "Why don't you go and buy me a popsicle, fanboy?"
"Absolutely!" agreed Ian enthusiastically.
Ian turned to go to the popsicle stand in question. Millie followed behind.
"Wait, Millie!" called out Patsy, starting to get up, "We were in the middle of a-"
Millie had dug her foot into the sand and kicked backwards, sending a cloud of sand directly into Patsy's face. Patsy sputtered, coughed, and fell back onto her butt. She tried to rub the sand from her eyes. It was all in her hair and mouth. It was so disgusting.
"OUCH!" shrieked Patsy, feeling a sharp pain on her right buttcheek.
She leapt off the ground and to her feet as everyone around her laughed. She looked over her shoulder at her still stinging butt to see a crab hanging off, claw clamped down on her butt through her suit. Behind Patsy, Nancy was laughing incredibly hard. She had put the crab there.
"Get it off!" panicked Patsy, "Get it oooooooff!"
The crowd continued to laugh as Patsy cried and ran in circles, crab dangling off her butt the whole time. Eventually the force of Patsy running and flailing threw the crab from her butt. Patsy moaned and rubbed her sore bottom.
"Five star!" shouted Nancy.
"WAHOWCH!" screamed Patsy, feeling an open hand slap on her severely sunburnt back.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" feigned Nancy as Patsy's eyes watered in pain, "That must have really hurt with your sunburn. You should really wear sunscreen, you know."
Patsy, still teary eyed, turned to face Nancy. Nancy had aimed a tube of sunscreen directly at Patsy. As soon as Nancy had a clear shot at Patsy's face, she squeezed. The sunscreen squirted all the way to Patsy's face, smothering her as she yelled in pain from it getting into her eyes and mouth. The crowd was positively losing it laughing now.
"Here, Patsy!" yelled Millie from behind her, "Have a popsicle!"
Patsy felt Millie pull back the waistband of her bikini bottom and drop the popsicle down into it. Patsy yelped as the cold and sticky snack went right into her butt, causing incredible discomfort as it slowly began to melt. Patsy shuttered with discomfort.
Then Patsy's eyes bulged as she felt her bikini bottom yanked up her back, giving her a massive wedgie while shoving the freezing sticky popsicle up her butt with it. Patsy made a loud and extremely unflattering noise. The laughing just got louder and louder.
"What a loser!" laughed Nancy, "Let's put her in the ground."
"No, wait!" begged Patsy, but they had already grabbed her.
Patsy screamed out, both in defiance and pain as they squeezed her sunburn. The screaming was muffled as they slammed her down face first into the sand, filling her eyes and nose with it. They then shoved her down further. Patsy moaned into the sand as they stuffed her down until only her butt and legs were exposed, kicking wildly with the popsicle and swimsuit still wedged all the way up there.
Nancy and Millie keeled over, both pointing and laughing at Patsy.
"Wow," smiled Ian, believing the incident to be staged, "She's a real trooper about this stuff! Where's the camera crew?"
Millie and Nancy's laughter stopped suddenly when a large shadow blocked the sun from them. They looked up to see She-Hulk standing there with her hands on her hips, furious.
"Hilarious," she said calmly, "I love practical jokes. Wanna see one of mine?"
"Uh-oh…" murmured Millie.
Ian turned away in a cringe as a loud thud sent sand flying everywhere. When it cleared, Nancy and Millie were both buried up to their necks in sand, completely unable to move. She-Hulk had forcibly shoved them in there. Both appeared to be in shock.
She-Hulk grabbed the seat of Patsy's swimsuit and plucked her out of the ground, placing her back down on her feet.
"Thanks," whispered Patsy, reaching her hands into her swimsuit to dislodge the popsicle from her butt.
"I swear," She-Hulk said, shaking her head, "I leave you alone for five seconds…"
"I really don't think this one was my fault," said Patsy sadly.
"You're right," nodded She-Hulk, "It's not. Come on, let's go see a movie somewhere we'll get less sand in our shorts."
"Sounds good to me!" smiled Patsy, walking after her friend as she handed her the aloe vera, "Can we see that new romcom with Simon Williams? It looks adorable!"
"Absolutely."
Millie and Nancy blinked, unsure of what to do now. The sand around them was packed so tightly that there was no way they could get free without being dug out. They'd just have to wait for someone willing to do it. It didn't seem so bad, until a crab crawled up to Nancy and clamped its claw down onto her nose. Millie sighed as Nancy sobbed and cried out in pain.
"I think it's safe to say," said Seymour, "that that barbecue shrimp recipe is a must-try for this summer. Right?"
"Of course!" declared Thor, "I gave me a great sensation of spiciness!"
"We've been over this, Thor," chuckled Seymour, "You can just call it 'spicy.'"
"That too!"
Thor and Seymour sat in the small bedroom sitting in front of mic stands hooked up to Seymour's computer. They both wore headphones and eyed the computer that Seymour was using to record. Following Thor's resignation from duty, he decided to start a new life of podcasting with Seymour in New Orleans. Thor's presence on the podcast made it extremely popular, although not necessarily for the reasons Seymour wanted it to be.
"Alright," nodded Seymour, "Thor, you wanna read us that last ad and then we can wrap up?"
"Sure thing, Seymour!" smiled Thor, holding his script in front of him carefully, "Food of the Gods is sponsored by Sundies, the reliable and quality underwear subscription service. Sign up using the code 'foodgods' for three months free! Sundies are comfy, long lasting, and fun underwear you can order in any combination of cuts or prints. Be sure to check out their new Thunderbolt design, new this month!"
"I've said this before and I'll say it again," added Seymour, "I subscribe to Sundies and I highly recommend it. Most of the designs are pretty cute and they don't ride up or anything either. Obviously we're big fans of Sunset products here, so check them out!"
"Thank you everyone for listening to Food of the Gods,," said Thor, reading off another script, "We'll be back next week with a look at different ways of preparing homemade ice cream! I cannot wait!"
"If you're not already subscribed," said Seymour, "Please, please go ahead and do that. It's a big help to us. This podcast has really blown up quickly and we can't express how grateful we are for that. Which is why we're excited to make an announcement… Thor?"
"Yes!" said Thor excitedly, "Many have asked, and now many shall receive! Starting next month we shall be starting ANOTHER podcast!"
"Per popular demand," explained Seymour, "this podcast, titled My Buddy Thor, will begin releasing alongside this one. Many of you have asked for a podcast where you can learn more about Thor, other than just his food preferences of course."
"So Seymour will ask me about my life!" continued Thor, "Like what Midgardian things I've tried or what Asgardian things he's never heard of!"
"We know this is what you've all been waiting for," said Seymour, "We are actually hoping this will allow us to springboard into other subject matters as well, but we'll have to wait and see."
"Thank you again for listening!" said Thor, "And, as always, stay fed!"
"I don't know…" muttered Jane, "Are you sure it's alright?"
"Of course it is!" insisted Loki, "You wield Mjolnir! You're one of us now!"
"If you say so…"
Since the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., Jane had been spending most of her time coming to terms with her new mantle as Goddess of Thunder. She was spending most of her time in Asgard these days, but her role in its culture and politics was still unclear.
Today was the day the Asgardians celebrated the Summer Solstice. The celebration consisted of the Festival of Feyr, which lasted many days and involved all sorts of activities. One of those activities was an axe-throwing contest, where a single large target sat in the courtyard all day. Axes flung into it would stay where they were unless knocked down by other axes. At the end of the festival, the closest axe to the center would be declared the winner.
"It's just," said Jane nervously as she picked an axe off the rack, "I've never thrown an axe before…"
"Don't worry about it," dismissed Loki, "Just pretend you're throwing Mjolnir."
"Alright…"
Jane and Loki were in the courtyard of the palace, where the majority of the festival was held. Most everyone was there: Brunnhilde supervised the event from a large throne at the edge of the courtyard, Sif and Fandral feasted at a nearby table, and even Amora was out and about having a good time.
The courtyard had been decorated for the festival. In the center of the courtyard, a several story tall statue of Freyr had been erected. The large man carried a sword in his scabbard, gazing out to the direction of the setting sun. Posts all around the courtyard were connected in long chains of gorgeous flowers, no two of which were alike. In the back of the courtyard was an enormous table adorned with wreaths and food. It had enormous cooked birds, stuffed fruits, freshly baked bread, and more.
Jane was wearing her armor. It was more fitting for the event than anything she personally owned. Mjolnir hung on her side, keeping her in her transformation. Jane felt the weight of the axe in her hand and then eyed the target. Maybe she could do this.
"You've got this," whispered Loki.
Loki had been with Jane for most of the festival. She had taken it upon herself to help acclimate the anthropologist to life in Asgard. Jane had her doubts, but recalled how Loki had saved her from Olivia back at the Triskelion. Then she also remembered that Loki tricked Sif into almost killing her.
Loki was dressed for the occasion. She wore a long cream gown lined with leaves, flowers, and berries that wrapped around it like a sash. She wore a golden wreath of flowers for a crown. The dress left her slender arms bare and was even short enough that her bare feet and ankles were clearly visible.
Jane aimed the axe, easing it back and forth as she tried to determine exactly how much strength to use. When she was ready, she reared the axe back and went to throw it.
"DON'T MESS UP!" shouted Loki.
Jane let out a surprised yelp as her grip on the axe slipped. This happened as Jane reared the axe backward, causing the weapon to go flying behind her. She turned around and gasped as the axe sunk directly into one of the tall posts. The post then slowly tilted and began to fall. Jane gasped louder as the post took the chains of flowers down with it, in turn pulling down the other posts as well. In the process, the chains of flowers tangled the statue of Freyr, throwing it off balance. Once the posts had fallen, the chains pulled the statue until it fell over as well. The towering structure landed directly on the table of food as Sif and Fandral leapt out of the way. The statue shattered into pieces as it crushed the table, sending bits of food flying all over the courtyard.
Jane couldn't move. Her face was white with terrified shock at what she had done. Slowly, one by one, the other Asgardians in the court turned to look at her. Jane looked around. She had ruined literally every decoration in the courtyard as well as all the food. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing.
Jane was proven wrong when she felt her thighs get cold as her trousers were pulled to the ground. Jane blushed and covered her high waisted white floral briefs, which had been exposed by Loki's surprise pantsing of her before she disappeared in a green flash. Jane turned to look at Brunnhilde, who was staring at her with a single eyebrow raised.
"Um…" muttered Jane, "Happy Summer Solstice?"
"This was a great idea, Steve."
"I hope so. I want to do what's right."
Angelica Jones and Steve Rogers stood in the corner of the yard, sipping beers as they watched the other guests mingle about. They were at a barbecue, which Steve had arranged for everyone who had lost their job as a result of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s collapse. The Avengers would be fine between existing connections and star power, but the rest of the staff and agents weren't so lucky. Steve figured a small party would help them network or at least commiserate.
"So what's your plan now?" asked Angelica.
"That's a good question," sighed Steve, "I don't know."
Steve was wearing a T-shirt and cuffed jeans, looking far more casual than anyone at the barbecue had seen him before. Angelica wore a red and yellow sundress. They were the only two Avengers at the celebration, with everyone else having pre-existing conflicts. Steve was fine with that. This wasn't about the Avengers, it was about the agents.
"Holy crap," whispered Angelica, "Look who it is!"
Steve followed Angelica's head nod. He was surprised too. Natasha Romanoff had just walked into the yard, wearing a cute black dress, brimmed hat, and sunglasses. She walked subtly throughout the party before noticing that Steve and Angelica had seen her. She walked over to them.
"Agent Romanoff," nodded Steve, "Glad you could make it."
"Call me Nat now," she corrected with half a smile, "None of us are agents anymore."
"How have you been dealing with it?" asked Angelica calmly.
Angelica had to work to contain her temper. When Steve had found out about Maria Hill's plans for a mutant registry, he snuck Angelica away from S.H.I.E.L.D. as quickly as possible. The others, Romanoff included, had remained loyal to Hill. It was complicated, of course. Dr. Olivia Octavius took control of Romanoff and the others, forcing them to fight against Thor and his own team of Avengers. Angelica still harbored a bitterness toward Romanoff for her utter loyalty to Hill.
"Poorly," admitted Nat, "I've been a spy as long as I can remember. My allegiance has always been to my commanding officer. My purpose has always been my mission. Now I have no commanding officer and no mission... I guess I just don't know what comes next."
"Maybe it's a sign," suggested Angelica, "maybe there's something else for you out there."
"Maybe," sighed Nat, "It's not just that though. Now that I'm free of Hill, I'm starting to realize everything I did wrong for her. I'm surprised you two are even talking to me..."
Angelica and Steve looked at one another. Neither was quite sure what to say. They both had their issues with Nat, not only for her loyalty to Hill but her complicity in Peter's expulsion from the team. Nat had done a lot of wrong and up until now had shown very little regret for it.
"I'll be honest with you," said Steve after a moment, "You messed up big time, Nat. You hurt good people and allowed bad people to do what they wanted without opposition."
Nat nodded.
"But this is an opportunity," said Steve, "Like you said, you're free of Hill. You're your own woman. You can start making changes. Every day is a new start; maybe today is yours."
"You're a dork," snorted Nat.
She thought for a moment.
"But you're right," she admitted, "Thank you."
Angelica looked between the two before holding up her beer.
"To second chances!" she declared.
"To second chances," affirmed Steve, raising his bottle as well.
Nat smiled and raised her beer as well. They knocked the bottles together and drank.
"Hey Becky, you bring the good shit?"
"Nah. I got this though!"
"Toss it."
Becky tossed the cheap can of beer to her boyfriend Derek, who caught it and opened it. Then Becky grabbed her own out of the cooler and began to drink it as well. Becky and Derek went about eating their lunch from the various snacks spread out on the picnic blanket before them.
The two had found a quiet forest off the edge of the town, where they knew they could enjoy their picnic in privacy. No screaming kids, no poorly trained dogs, and no teenagers blasting music. It was just them, their booze, their food, and each other. It was great.
"Did the corn on the cob make it alright?" asked Becky between mouthfuls of potato salad.
"Let me check," said Derek, turning around to open the picnic basket with the corn, "Uh-oh."
"What?"
"It's gone."
"The corn?"
"The whole basket!"
"What!?"
Becky crawled over and saw that Derek was right. Their main picnic basket, the largest one, had completely disappeared. Neither of them could find it anywhere. They hadn't seen or heard anything, so where had it gone? Now they only had their various appetizers and beer to keep them satisfied.
Meanwhile, a ways away in the woods, Squirrel Girl was distributing the basket's contents to her squirrel friends in the forest. Squirrel Girl smiled to herself. All those years of watching old cartoons had paid off.
"Shit!" cursed Rogue as her feet slid down the slope and her feet sank into the mud.
"Need some help, cheri?"
"No, I'm fine. One second."
Rogue tossed her fishing rod aside, braced herself against the tree, and jerked each food out of the mud one by one before climbing back up the slope. Remy watched patiently while leaning on another tree. Rogue looked down at her mud-coated boots in disgust.
"I hate this."
"I know."
"I hate this."
"Did you want to do something about it?"
"You know what?" said Rogue after a moment, "Yes. Yes, I do."
Rogue was wearing a pair of faded old blue jeans, hiking boots, and a dark turquoise flannel rolled up to her elbows. Remy was wearing black tactical pants and a sleeveless black T-shirt. They were in a small forest preserve not far from the mansion.
The others were there too: Kurt, Roxanne, Jean, and Scott. Jean and Scott had convinced Ororo that the X-Students would benefit from a "seasonal outing" to boost morale. They hadn't consulted the rest of them, of course. Ororo had agreed and sent them out with fishing supplies. Now Rogue was spending her Saturday in a muddy pond.
"You have my attention," grinned Remy.
Rogue motioned for Remy to follow her. He did. The two moved slowly and quietly through the trees to another exposed section of the pond. Rogue looked down the steep hill. At the bottom Jean and Scott were sitting at the edge of the water. Jean was wearing dark green shorts and a black T-shirt tied up into a crop top. Scott was wearing dark jeans and a T-shirt. They both had fishing rods in hand and were watching the pond intensely. They were completely distracted. Across the pond Rogue could see the others, but they were too far away to notice her.
Then Rogue saw her target. Jean was leaning forward, resting her chin on her hand as she stared out over the pond. In doing so, she exposed the back of her underwear. Rogue could clearly read the brand on the waistband: X-All. The thick white fabric was completely devoid of any pattern.
Then Rogue held out her hand. Remy handed her his fishing rod. Positioning herself carefully, Rogue began to lower the line of the fishing rod while dangling it over Scott and Jean's heads. She silently dipped the hook into the back of Jean's shorts. Furrowing her brow with concentration, Rogue carefully moved the hook so its tip was under the waistband and quickly jerked it upward, successfully hooking it.
"What the-?" exclaimed Jean, but it was too late.
Rogue pulled up with all her might and reeled the line in. Jean's face contorted in discomfort and shock as her bikini briefs were violently ripped upward into her butt. Jean was quickly lifted to a standing position, biting her lip and grabbing her crotch in pain as Rogue stretched the undies higher and higher by reeling in.
"Hey!" shouted Scott as he suddenly got to his feet, "What do you think you're- Whoa!"
Scott's sudden stand had thrown off his balance on the steep incline. He found himself falling backward and instantly clasped both hands onto his sunglasses. He couldn't risk hurting anybody if they fell off. Unfortunately by using his hands to hold his glasses, he was left with nothing to stop his fall and tipped right over into the murky pond.
"Scott!" cried Jean, instinctively stepping out toward him, "HIURK!"
Jean's step only caused her underpants to be pulled farther into her. She found herself tripping forward as a result of this, sucking her teeth in pain as she was caught by an even more painful wedgie. Jean was left leaning forward at a 90 degree angle with her white underwear stretched back behind her to the fishing line, holding her up.
Rogue didn't want to squander this opportunity. She knew exactly what to do. She yanked even harder and reeled even faster on the fishing rod. The result was a satisfying RRRRIIIIP as the underwear tore clear away from Jean's shorts, causing her to fall forward into the pond with a scream as Rogue proudly reeled in the torn remains of the panties.
"Do you have a death wish?" chuckled Remy quietly from behind a tree, remembering Jean's incredible power and how she had used it against them before.
"It was worth it," smiled Rogue smugly, "Look."
Across the pond the other students had finally noticed them. They were all cheering. Apparently they had not been thrilled about losing their Saturday to a fishing trip either. Scott and Jean slowly made their way out of the pond, soaked in the scummy pond water. Jean glared at Rogue as she pulled herself out with a tree branch.
"I hope you're proud of yourself," she said, "Scott and I are soaked. Now we have to end this trip early so we can go home and change."
"Fine by me," smirked Rogue.
"Think we have enough?"
"Just about."
Frank and Karen walked alongside each other through the trees, each carrying various sizes of sticks and wood. Princess trotted alongside them happily, off-leash and carrying a single stick of firewood in her massive jaws. The sun was just starting to set, creating an orange glow through the branches and leaves. The forest smelled of dirt and pine. The sound of the creek running down the hill beside them was quiet but distinct. Frank had to admit, he didn't find a lot of places comforting, but he felt comfortable now.
"Good thing we didn't head out," commented Karen, "We absolutely would have been driving those roads in complete darkness."
"Yeah."
"I feel bad for Micro though," added Karen.
"Yeah."
"You're being a real conversationalist," teased Karen, leaning over and bumping Frank's shoulder with hers.
"Oh," said Frank back with a half smile, "Is it gonna be like that?"
Frank bumped Karen's shoulder back, but a little harder.
"Hey!" laughed Karen, going in and slamming her shoulder into his.
Frank responded in kind, but completely forgot about how strong he was and how light Karen was. This shoulder check sent Karen stumbling to the side, where she lost her footing on the hill and fell backwards right into the creek as her wood scattered everywhere. She yelped as she landed butt first in the cold water, soaking the seat of her jeans and through to her underwear. Frank's eyes were wide with shock. He tossed his wood aside and rushed down the hill to help her out. Princess also tumbled down the hill to check on Karen, losing her balance and nearly landing a full 120 pounds of pitbull onto her lap. She shook off the fall and proceeded to sniff Karen's face with wide-eyed concern.
"I am so sorry," said Frank, squatting beside her and helping her to her feet, taking care to block Princess from knocking them both over in an attempt to help.
Karen squinted at Frank in frustration, but Frank could see a hint of a smile forming as well. They gathered their wood back up and continued their walk back to camp.
"Oh my God," muttered Karen after a few minutes, "If this gives me a rash I'll never let you live it down."
"...sorry, ma'am," muttered Frank bashfully.
"You haven't called me that in a while," chuckled Karen.
"Sorry."
"Relax Frank," she said with a smile, "I'm kidding. You've got to loosen up a bit."
"Yeah," nodded Frank, "I'm just still feeling guilty about Spook."
"Oh, he'll be fine!" said Karen, "Check in with him when we get back. That'll make you feel better."
Frank nodded. She was right. They finally made their way back to the camp. A standard tent was pitched across the clearing. Coolers and folding chairs dotted the ground, all facing toward the center.
"I'll get the fire started," said Karen, "You go check on him."
Frank placed his wood on the ground near the center of camp, where they had already gathered a handful of fire-starting supplies like kindling and a set of matches. Karen squatted beside it and began setting up for the fire. Princess dropped her stick in the pile as well. Frank walked over to the tent, followed closely by Princess. He motioned for her to give him space and she returned to the pile of sticks, where she began to happily chew on one at Karen's feet.
"Can I come in?" called Frank into the tent.
"Yeah…" came a tired voice back.
Frank unzipped the mesh door, and ducked his head as he walked in.
"Hey, Spook," said Frank, "How you holding up?"
"Poorly."
Micro was curled up in the corner, wrapped in multiple blankets with a thermos clutched in his hands. His nose had turned a bright red and his eyes looked even more tired than usual. Frank knelt beside him as he let out an unabashedly loud sneeze.
"Sorry," frowned Frank, "I feel like this is… kinda my fault."
"That's because it is."
Micro hadn't wanted to go camping. The whole idea was Karen's, but she wanted both Frank and Micro on the trip. Micro didn't care for the outdoors and had no love of hiking or sitting around campfires. He'd have much rather been somewhere with air conditioning and wi-fi. To make matters worse, upon arrival Micro had almost immediately had some sort of allergic reaction to one of the plants in the woods. They considered driving back down the mountain, but the roads lacked guard rails or lights so doing so would have been dangerous at night.
"You out of tissues already?" asked Frank.
Micro just stared back at Frank with a mix of annoyance and resignation.
"I'll go get you some more," said Frank, going to get up.
"No, it's fine," said Micro, "I still have some left. I'm just tired is all."
"Karen and I got some wood for the fire," said Frank, "If you're feeling up to it you can come out and join us."
"Ah yes," smirked Micro, "I was just thinking, what I need is to get eaten alive by mosquitoes."
Frank furrowed his brow. It was extremely frustrating that Micro had such a good excuse to be bitter. Frank had a feeling he'd be complaining the whole trip, but it was hard to argue with those complaints when he was like this.
"We'll head back first thing in the morning," assured Frank, placing a hand on Micro's shoulder, "I promise."
"Thanks," nodded Micro.
The two sat there for a moment, unsure of what else to say. Frank stared at his hand still on Micro's shoulder. He didn't want to move it away. It felt so nice to physically reassure him like that. He slowly moved his hand back to his side.
"By the way," sniffled Micro, "You were right. This tea is… really good."
"Yeah," nodded Frank awkwardly, "Yeah, I thought you might like it."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
The two sat there in silence for another moment.
"You know I…" said Frank, "...I bumped Karen into the creek getting firewood."
"You didn't!"
"Yeah…"
"You dope," chuckled Micro, "Of course you did."
Frank chuckled back in spite of himself. It felt nice to get a laugh out of Micro.
"Do you need anything else?" asked Frank, "Food? Water? More tea?"
"No," assured Micro, "No, I'm good."
Frank nodded and got up and made his way out of the tent. He wasn't sure what to make of Micro these days. They had worked together for so long and knew each other so well. He enjoyed spending time with him and wanted to do it even more. He often thought about what it would be like to hold him. Frank never said a word though; he knew that Micro would never feel the same way about him. The last thing Frank wanted to do was make him uncomfortable.
"What are you doing?" asked Frank, emerging from the tent.
"Drying off."
Karen had started the fire successfully. The orange-yellow flames danced around the wood pile as smoke bellowed into the sky. Karen stood beside the fire, facing away from it and bent over. Frank realized that she was trying to dry off the wet seat of her pants. It looked silly, but Frank would never let himself laugh at it.
"Right," he muttered, "Sorry about that again."
"You're fine," sighed Karen, "I'm almost dry anyway. Well, except for my underwear."
"You didn't bring a change of clothes?" asked Frank uncomfortably.
"They're buried under all of your and Micro's stuff in the van!"
Frank blushed. He was a bit flustered. He admired Karen, respected her, and wanted nothing more than to protect her and make her feel safe. He knew she didn't need him for that, but he still often found himself thinking about it.
"So are we gonna break out the grub or what?" asked Frank, trying to mask his bashfulness.
"Yeah," said Karen, "There's s'more supplies and hot dogs in that bag."
Karen pointed to the bag in question, maintaining her stance as the fire slowly warmed and dried the fabric on her butt. Frank walked over to the bag and pulled out the supplies. He found the roasting sticks as well and walked back to Karen, who had finally turned away from the fire. She smiled as he handed her one of the sticks.
The two of them pulled chairs close to the fire and began their roasting. Frank was cooking a hot dog while Karen was preparing a marshmallow. They had poured Princess a bowl of kibble beside Frank. The warmth of the fire became more and more comforting as the night grew cold. Frank and Karen had roasted several of snacks each when they heard a zipping sound and turned around.
"Spook," said Frank in pleasant surprise.
"Come on, guys. Eating without me? Rude."
Micro had shambled out of the tent, still wrapped up in blankets and still looking as miserable as he did before. He walked over to the remaining folding chair, brought it next to the fire and grabbed a roasting stick of his own.
"Glad you decided to come out, Micro," smiled Karen.
"Thank yo- Ah… Ah… AH-CHOO!"
Micro convulsed as he let out another loud sneeze. Frank and Karen both looked at him in concern.
"Sorry," offered Micro.
"Don't worry about it," said Frank after a second or two.
"We're just glad you joined us," said Karen warmly.
Micro nodded with a weak smile. Frank smiled back. Karen smiled as well. The three continued to sit there by the fire in happy silence. Frank occasionally caught himself glancing at Micro. The two were seated next to each other, but a deep-seated part of Frank wanted to be even closer. He wanted to hold Micro close to him as they sat by the warmth of the fire, cuddling late into the night.
Get it together, Castle! he thought to himself, Stop thinking so selfishly. Spook deserves someone better, someone good. There's no way he'd want someone like you getting so close…
Karen sighed as she looked at the two boys. She had picked up on both of their feelings over the years. She respected them enough not to reveal their feelings toward one another, but she had become frustrated with both of their reluctance to face those feelings. She had really hoped they would do it on this trip, but then Micro's allergies hit.
Karen was frustrated, but not concerned. She knew they'd tell each other one day.
Frank continued to look at Micro as the night grew later. The orange glow of the fire slowly died out and Micro was illuminated by just the faint light of the moon and stars. In moments like this, it was the hardest for Frank to keep his feelings a secret.
Princess walked over to Frank's chair and settled at his feet, ready to go to sleep. Soon Karen had turned in as well. Frank was exhausted. He was more than ready to go to sleep, but Micro had been sleeping all day and wasn't tired yet. So Frank didn't want to go to bed yet. He wanted to stay up with Micro as long as possible. Every day posed new risks and losses, so Frank cherished moments like this. Even if he couldn't be with Micro, he could at least be near him and look at him under the stars.
"Alright," clapped Luke, "Bottom of the ninth. Let's go, people!"
"This is it!" shouted Misty, "Don't let up now! We can win this!"
Luke and Misty stood in the caged area of the small baseball field, watching the game from there. Both were wearing colorful shirts. Luke's was yellow with the words "The Power Men" while Misty's was white and read "The Daughters of the Dragon" in pink. On the field their teams, dressed in baseball uniforms of the corresponding color. The bleachers on either side, while modest in size, were packed to the brim.
The Heroes for Hire had done a fundraiser that summer for one of the local shelters. The biggest donations came in the form of purchasing tickets to this baseball game. Luke and Misty were coaches of opposing teams, both comprised of members of Heroes for Hire. Luke's team included Claire and Danny while Misty's had Colleen and Jennie. Both teams were rounded out by their various personal friends.
They were at the bottom of the ninth inning. The Daughter of the Dragons were up to bat. They were down one run, so unless they earned 2 or more runs this inning they would lose. Danny stepped up to the mound to pitch. Luke smiled smugly as Danny proceeded to strike out two batters in a row.
It was Misty's turn to smile smugly next when Jennie got to first base by bunting the ball. Luke grunted in frustration, but knew that he was still in a good place. All they needed was 1 more out and this would be over. Colleen stepped up to bat next.
"Feeling lucky?" asked Misty.
"You saying what I think you're saying?" asked Luke with a smile.
"Sure am," said Misty, "I'm willing to bet that we get two more runs and win the game."
"Really?" scoffed Luke, "You're on. What are we betting?"
"The usual," said Misty.
"Sounds good," said Luke.
Luke knew Danny had this. He was an incredible pitcher and Colleen had played very little baseball before. Danny got two strikes in immediately, with Colleen not even swinging either time. Luke pumped his fist. They were going to win for sure now. Just to be safe though, Luke decided to use their ace in the hole. He locked eyes with Danny. Luke clasped his hands together in fists and brought them up to his mouth. Danny smiled and nodded. He knew what that meant and was excited for it.
Danny began his windup for the pitch as Colleen readied herself. Then Danny's hand let out a flash of golden light as he whipped the ball at Collen. The ball itself was now engulfed in the chi of the Iron Fist, flying at Colleen with incredible power.
Colleen grinned. She focused for a split second before swinging the bat with the same technique and intricacy that she used when she swung her katana. She was able to strike the ball with such force and precision that the bat burst into splinters upon impact. At the same time, the power of the impact unleashed the chi from the baseball. A golden wave washed over the field, knocking everyone onto their backs. The same burst of chi propelled the baseball in the opposite direction, sending it flying high over everyone's heads and into the distance.
Everyone stared in disbelief from the ground. A few moments of silence passed, then Jennie and Colleen stood up and jogged around the bases to the cheers of the crowd. It was a home run. Luke had lost.
"Ooh," said Misty with feigned concern, "That's rough. Oh well, see you on Saturday."
This meant Luke would be cleaning up Misty's apartment and cooking for her all weekend. Knowing her, she probably planned for him to wear an embarrassing apron or something.
"Yeah," sighed Luke in resignation.
"Good game," chuckled Misty, walking over to her team as they cheered and hugged each other.