Hello.
Gather around, children.
So. The new chapter is here. Unfortunately, I'm heading off to college. This is my last day actually at home, so from this point on, my updates will be more irregular and probably a lot less often.
Don't worry, this fic is not dead. I haven't hit a writer's block yet (those are the worst, aren't they?). I will still be updating. Maybe. If I get more reviews. I'm keeping the next chapter hostage until then. Mwahahahaha.
Just kidding. Seriously though, reviews are appreciated and gives the author motivation (these things work better than caffeine, I swear).
Warnings: irreverent humor, anachronisms, Orion fully jumping on the Sarcasm bandwagon.
Without further ado, allons-y!
Surreal.
That was how Orion felt when he trekked back to Delos, which was taking a lot less time now that he could actually see.
It had taken him a while to find Mount Etna, but Hephaestus was surprisingly hospitable for someone who didn't seem to interact much with people. He even gave him a cool parting gift in the form of new eyes. Which were awesome, because said new eyes allowed him to see outside the visible light spectrum without developing severe cataracts. He would have requested laser eyes, but he didn't want to push his luck.
It was such a beautiful day, too. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. When he got back to Delos, he was going to thank Artemis for helping him. Maybe leave a bunch of sacrifices on her alter later on. More than usual, anyway.
What do you think of me now, Mother? That I would worship my sworn enemy?
An arrow almost took off his nose.
Wait, what?
He looked around with his new eyes, spotting patches of gray hidden in the trees. About twenty girls stood camouflaged around the forest, bows drawn. Somehow, while he was reflecting on how great his day was going, the girls had surrounded him.
The Hunters of Artemis. Oh, please don't tell me Artemis changed her mind about not killing me.
"Stop," he shouted, holding up his hands, "I come in peace."
"When do men ever come in peace?" the one in the lead wondered aloud. "Identify yourself, male. Why do you disturb our hunt?"
"My name is Orion. I'm on my way to Delos as per Artemis's instructions, and I mean no harm to-"
He was cut off quite rudely by another arrow. Only his reflexes saved him from instant decapitation, which wouldn't actually kill him, being a giant and all, but it would hurt, Father damn it. It occurred to him that perhaps introducing himself as their mistress's worst enemy and then telling them that he was headed to said mistress's birthplace might not have been the most tactical move.
Mother damn it, where are my powers of charisma when I need it?
"You're Orion," the girl in the lead gasped, before nocking another arrow.
Orion did what any sane person would do in that situation. He turned and fled.
What is this? Another line break?
Breaking the line wasn't difficult. The girls weren't big. Most of them were prepubescent. He was a 10 foot giant. One did not need to be Athena to do the math. Most of them scattered like bowling pins at the suddenly charging giant.
What's a bowling pin? He wondered, before deciding that running was more important.
It was outpacing them that was the problem.
Orion thought he was fast. It had taken him merely five days to journey from Delos to Mt. Etna. After a few false starts, of course. One could not blame him for being a few degrees off course and having that effect snowball until he hit Malta, but he digressed.
The point is, he was fast. Not even the square cube law could slow him down, since the application such trivial things as science were basically optional for him, so he had twice the stride length and none of the complications. So how in the realm of Erebus, the World of Helheim, and the Kingdom of Osiris were they still right behind him?!
After a good hour of running (Honestly, this was getting ridiculous), he decided that his best option was to hide. After pulling slightly ahead of the hunters, he shimmied himself into a rotting log, put on some basic camouflage, and waited for the footsteps to pass.
Oh yeah, it was time to try out his new eyes. It took a bit of tweaking, but eventually, he found a setting labelled "infrared" that seemed to detect body heat. His bare skin was a bright yellow, while his clothes were darker blue. Whatever he touched left a bright imprint that slowly faded.
So that was cool. He looked around with his new eyes for the hunters' heat signatures.
Nothing.
How was that possible?
He didn't have much time to ponder that question, because a roar nearby sounded so loudly the log shook.
And the lesson here, kids, is to never tempt fate by assuming that you're having a good day.
Okay, let's see...author's notes.
I know that in The Blood of Olympus, Orion went to Hephaestus first. In this fanfic, I decided to tweak the timeline just a little bit, for additional drama. Also, to set up the beginnings of the friendship a bit better. Maybe I'll hand wave the canon by saying that Orion mis-remembered the timeline (it has been a couple thousand years, you know), or was flat out lying. Anyway, drama.
Cataracts. It's a condition in which the lenses in your eyes stop being transparent, which leads to all sorts of problems. There are some cases where people with severe cataracts develop the ability to see into the ultraviolet spectrum. Which is pretty cool, I guess, but seriously, would you give up normal sight for that?
Square cube law. Also known as the thing that every movie ignores. Basically, an object's mass is a function of its volume (think cube). The object's ability to hold itself up is a function of its area (think square). Therefore, you can only build an object so big before it collapses under the weight of its own mass. It's one of the reasons people with gigantism don't tend to live long. It's sad, but true.
So you noticed that I referenced Egyptian and Norse mythology in this. By the way, a bit of Trivia (get it? Trivia? because it's Hecate's Roman form? No? Alright I'll just sit in a corner): In book 9 of Ovid's Metamorphoses, THE book on Greco-Roman Mythology, guess who shows up? Isis and Anubis. And this isn't even the story of Io, Zeus's girlfriend/Hera's cow, in which she eventually made it to Egypt and became the goddess Isis. They were actually there, mentioned by name, doing goddy things in Crete. I thought that tidbit of information was amazing.
Oh, by the way, there's totally a reason why the Hunters' body had no heat signatures. I'll give you a hint: it had nothing to do with biology and everything to do with Hecate.
Wow, my chapter lengths are getting longer and longer. IDK, guys, should I make future chapters about this long? Go back to about being 500 words? Make it longer? Purge all notion of appropriate chapter length and word count; this is my fanfic, and by the gods above, I will do what I want? Tell me what you think.