Bruce took a deep breath. This was it. If all went well, today his life would go back to normal.
Bruce Banner had been placed in a large pod, where he was bolted to the inside with heavy steel cuffs around his elbows, knees, wrists, and ankles. He was stripped down to just a pair of blue boxer shorts and all sorts of wires were taped to his chest and head. At the controls in front of the pod stood Amadeus Cho. Beside him was Jennifer Walters. They were the only other ones in the building. Bruce didn't want to risk anyone's safety.
"We're just about ready," said Amadeus, looking at the controls, "Are you ready, Dr. Banner?"
Bruce took a moment to consider it one last time. If this experiment was a success, his unexpected transformations would cease. He would never have to worry about turning into the Hulk again. Instead, Hulk's mind would remain a part of him while the gamma radiation was extracted completely. It was the ultimate solution if it worked.
Amadeus had proposed the treatment, having come up with it himself. Amadeus had already built the machine in his lab. Once Bruce looked it over and confirmed it was what Amadeus said it was, he began to seriously consider the idea. Jennifer talked it through with him and although there were many risks, Bruce decided that the possibility of saving lives had to come first.
"Yeah," nodded Bruce, "I am."
Jennifer didn't like this. She had passed along Amadeus's offer as a courtesy to Bruce, but she hadn't expected him to actually take the kid up on it. Jennifer lived with a Hulk inside her too. Hers may have been under control, but she still knew what it was like to have a part of her that the world feared. She knew what it meant to risk losing that part of her completely.
The whole thing was completely off the books with no government connections whatsoever, all taking place in Amadeus's personal lab. Both he and Jennifer were casually dressed, with Jennifer even wearing jeans and a T-shirt. There was no liability, no real assurance of safety, and certainly no legitimacy. Amadeus found it exhilarating.
"Alright," he said, grabbing a lever, "Here goes nothing."
Amadeus pulled the lever down, powering up the machine. The pod slowly closed shut as Bruce tensed himself in anticipation. Once the pod was closed, it began to emit a loud whirring. Bruce clenched his teeth and writhed in pain, skin starting to turn an eerie green. Jennifer readied herself, knowing if this went sideways she'd have a hell of a fight on her hands.
The green faded though as Bruce's convulsing became hyperventilating and heavy sweating. The machine's whirring got louder and louder as the lights started to light up green. Amadeus smiled in satisfaction. It was working.
"Ha!" cheered Amadeus, clapping, "I knew it could take it! 'Infinite gamma energy' my ass!"
Then Bruce opened his eyes. They were bright green.
"Uh-oh."
"Amadeus…" growled Jennifer.
Bruce began convulsing again, screaming through his teeth as his muscles tensed and began to slowly turn green again. The lights turned and even brighter green as the whirring became high-pitched and ear-splittingly loud. One of the lights shattered, emitting a green smoke. The others started to pop too, one by one.
"I was wrong!" panicked Amadeus, "There is infinite gamma energy! The device can't contain it!"
"...but I can," said Jennifer, determined.
Jennifer grew out into She-Hulk, straining her shirt and pants until they started to split at some of the seams. Her shoes broke apart instantly. She hurried over to the machine and gripped onto it with both hands. The lights dimmed and stopped breaking. She-Hulk roared in pain as she felt the gamma energy surging into her.
"It's working!" cried Amadeus, looking at a monitor, "Keep absorbing that gamma exhaust, Jen!"
She-Hulk growled in pain as her grip on the machine became tighter and tighter, slowly crumpling the metal as the energy flooded into her. Inside the pod, Bruce's convulsing had once again stopped as his head fell limply to the side. The whirring started to die down.
"That's it!" declared Amadeus, "We did it! Jen, you can let go!"
She-Hulk cried out in relief as she released the machine and stumbled away, collapsing onto the floor in exhaustion. The pod slowly opened. Inside, Bruce blinked awake. Amadeus nodded to him and clicked a button, undoing the restraints. Bruce slowly removed the wires from himself and stepped out of the pod. He began to feel himself all over.
"...you did it," he whispered, "Me, Hulk… We're both still here, but the gamma radiation. It's all gone. Thank you…"
"My pleasure!" smiled Amadeus, oblivious to the enormous figure rising from the ground nearby.
"I'm free," said Bruce tearfully, before thrusting both fists into the air, "I'm finally free!"
The moment didn't last long as a monster even bigger than the Hulk leapt upon Bruce. He cried out in shock and tried to run, but the enormous woman grabbed him by both the front and back of his boxers and pulled upwards with heavily-gamma powered strength.
"EEEEEEOOOOOO!" squealed Bruce as his underwear cut deeply into him while crushing his balls, getting the waistband up to his neck before she tossed him aside.
"...fascinating," uttered Amadeus.
The monster was She-Hulk, only she didn't look like before. She was over twice as big and her skin had gone from a green to grey, though her eyes still glowed eerily green. Her massive, bulging muscles had torn away her sleeves completely and reduced her jeans to torn up denim capris. Her long black hair hung down in front of her furious face. The radiation had transformed her.
She-Hulk let out a loud roar at Amadeus, shaking the entire lab with the volume alone. She snarled once and then jumped straight up into the air, crashing through the ceiling.
"...Bruce?" asked Amadeus after a moment, "You okay?"
"Why me?" he whimpered, "Why always me?
"Nnnngh…" groaned Bruce.
"You got this, buddy!" assured Weezi.
"Euuunnnngh…"
Bruce was lying in a hospital bed, with ice packs and all sorts of medication applied to his lower half. He had sustained a lot of damage from the wedgie, but all of it was treatable. It would still be a few hours before he could walk again, which put a bit of a damper on his first day of freedom.
"So you're saying she absorbed his gamma radiation?" clarified Patsy.
"Yes," nodded Amadeus, "or at least most of it. That makes her as strong as Hulk and She-Hulk combined with none of the control of either."
"That's terrifying," said Weezi nervously, "Where is she now?"
"She's made her home at a construction site," said Amadeus, "The military is holding off for now; I warned them that they'd probably incur casualties if they attacked directly."
"So what's the plan?" asked Weezi.
"I think the better question is," said Amadeus, "why didn't she kill Bruce?"
"She damn near did," muttered Patsy.
"But she didn't!" said Amadeus, "She decided to nonlethally hurt him instead."
"Maybe part of her remembers him," suggested Weezi.
"So the plan is," explained Amadeus, "put together a team of people she might remember. Those are the only ones who are safe around her."
"Uuuuuunnnnhuhuhuhuhu…." moaned Bruce.
"Well," shrugged Amadeus, "relatively safe."
"What good would that do?" asked Patsy, "No team could possibly take her down in that state."
"It isn't permanent," said Amadeus, "The gamma radiation came from an outside source, so it should wear off in a few hours."
"Should?" asked Patsy nervously.
Amadeus shrugged.
"Glad you could join us," said Jessica as Loki strolled in.
"Relax," dismissed Loki, "It's not like anyone has died."
"Yet!" said both Peter and Steve at the same time.
The rest of the team was already gathered there: Peter Parker, Jessica Jones, Steve Rogers, Bobbi Morse, Angelica Jones, Patsy Walker, Thor, Jane Foster, and Amadeus. Loki was, of course, the last one to arrive.
"Loki!" called out Jane, pointing Mjolnir at the God of Mischief, "Halt!"
"Oops," muttered Loki, having forgotten he was technically a fugitive from Asgard for kidnapping an elven queen some time back.
"You will not escape this time!" shouted Jane, "Surrender or prepare for battle!"
"Do we have to do this here?" asked Loki, "It really seems like we have bigger problems right now."
"He is right, Jane Foster," interjected Thor, "Right now the savage She-Hulk is our common enemy."
"...fine," conceded Jane, lowering Mjolnir, "I will work alongside you to stop this threat. But this truce ends as soon as the threat is no more."
"Agreed," smiled Loki.
Jane scowled at him. She didn't like his smile. The attention of the room shifted from the Asgardians to Amadeus and Patsy at the front of the room. The others gathered around them, hoping for answers.
"Do we even have a plan of attack?" asked Angelica.
"Well," said Amadeus, "the only way to keep everyone safe is to make sure She-Hulk stays away from people she doesn't know until the radiation wears off."
"Why does it matter if she knows someone?" asked Jessica, "Hasn't she gone full rage monter at this point?"
"No, she subconsciously remembers us," explained Patsy, "The first thing she did after transforming was attack Bruce, but she left him without any serious injuries."
"Well…" said Amadeus.
"She left him with only one serious injury."
"What was that?"
"A semi-permanent gamma wedgie," said Patsy.
Peter, Bobbi, Jane, and Jessica viscerally cringed at those words.
"But he's going to make a full recovery!" clarified Patsy, "We think because Jen subconsciously remembered him, she stopped She-Hulk from doing anything too dangerous and limited her to just the wedgie instead."
"We have to do it," urged Steve, "We have a better chance at surviving this than anyone."
"Right," nodded Peter.
"Count me out," said Jessica.
"Oh come on, Jess!" said Bobbi.
"Nope," said Jessica, "I've already had my ass eviscerated by that woman once, I don't need to do it again."
"The more of you hit her at once," explained Amadeus, "The more gamma energy she will have to expand. It'll be safer for everyone if more of you go."
Jessica glanced over to Peter and Bobbi, considering that they would be at a higher risk without her.
"Fine," she said, "So in that case, do we just bum rush her?"
"That's probably your best bet," confirmed Amadeus.
"Alright team," nodded Steve, "Let's do this."
She-Hulk snarled as she prowled around the construction site, eyeing every slight hint of movement she saw. A single ant crawled out from under a pallette. She-Hulk roared in fury and pounded down on the ant over and over again with both fists, stomping on it repeatedly for good measure. She snorted in satisfaction.
"Yikes," whispered Mockingbird.
"You're telling me!" whispered Spider-Man, "If that's how she feels about ants, I don't want to know how she feels about spiders."
Spider-Man, Captain America, Hellcat, Jane Foster, Thor, Mockingbird, Jessica, Firestar, and Loki in her feminine form were hiding behind a bulldozer, peering at She-Hulk from a distance.
"Stay focused, everybody," ordered Captain America quietly.
"Right," said Spider-Man, "Sorry, Cap!"
"Who the hell is that?" asked Jessica.
"Oh no…" whispered Hellcat.
A chubby middle-aged woman in glasses had wandered into the construction site. Louise Grant, who went by the nickname Weezi, was Jennifer's secretary for her private law firm. The two had known each other for years.
"Hey there, Jen…" said Weezi gently as she approached, "How are ya? Remember me?"
"What the hell is she doing?!" demanded Jessica quietly.
"Wait!" said Hellcat, "She knows her! Maybe this will-"
"BAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Nevermind."
She-Hulk had Weezi in a headlock now, squeezing her neck and head under her enormous bicep. She-Hulk was using her free hand to press her knuckles into Weezi's head, twisting her enormous grey fist back and forth. Weezi was kicking her legs and screaming in pain, strands of hair being ripped from her head with every twist.
"Ooh," winced Loki, "Gamma noogie. Brutal."
"I'll save you, Weezi!" declared Hellcat, leaping atop the bulldozer.
Everyone stared up at Hellcat in disbelief. Most of them didn't know her at all, those who did mostly knew her from the tabloids. None of them could believe how brazenly she was challenging She-Hulk right now.
"Wee-zee…" said She-Hulk in a deep voice, taking a moment to look at her disoriented secretary.
"Let her go, Jen," ordered Hellcat, jumping down from the bulldozer.
She-Hulk continued to stare at Weezi for a moment. Then she looked up at Hellcat.
"It's me, Patsy," she said, removing her mask, "See?"
"Patssseeeee…" muttered She-Hulk.
"Yeah," smiled Patsy, "Now just put her down and we can talk this out."
She-Hulk released her hold on Weezi, causing the now partially bald woman to collapse on the ground before meekly crawling away. Patsy was now slowly approaching She-Hulk, who was squinting and slowly walking to meet her. The others watched in silent anticipation. It seemed to be working.
The two reached each other. She-Hulk slowly reached for Patsy with both hands. Bobbi and Jane audibly gasped when She-Hulk clutched either of Patsy's shoulders. Patsy winced in fear, but stayed steady. She-Hulk wasn't squeezing her too painfully. She-Hulk held Patsy close to her face and continued to squint at her. Patsy laughed nervously.
"Patsssseeee…" muttered She-Hulk, starting to walk while carrying her.
"What's she doing?" asked Jane.
"Wait," said Firestar, "I think it's working…"
She-Hulk approached a long pointed metal pole poking out of the ground. Patsy's eyes widened as she felt She-Hulk snag the back of Patsy's spandex pants on the tip.
"Wait!" she pleaded, "Jen, no!"
She-Hulk grinned as she grabbed either of Patsy's ankles and started walking backwards. Patsy's face turned redder and contorted further with each step, stretching the waistband of her pants farther and farther. The strain on Patsy's butt was becoming unbearable.
"Jen!" she begged, "Don't! No, no, no, no, AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
She-Hulk let go of both ankles, slingshotting Patsy as the elastic snapped back and flung her into the pile of gravel on the other side of the construction site, burying her head first into it and leaving her stuck.
"That's enough!" declared Jane, flying into the air as thunder boomed in the skies.
Jane's cape flapped in the wind as storm clouds gathered. She-Hulk shielded her eyes to look up at her. Jane slowly descended to the ground in front of She-Hulk, hammer at the ready.
"It's clear negotiations won't work," said Jane, "but I've fought you before! I'm not afrai-"
Jane's monologue was interrupted by She-Hulk reaching up and grabbing Jane by the seat of her trousers.
"Hey, wait!" protested Jane, "What are you-"
She-Hulk cut Jane off by swinging her over her head and smashing her into the ground beside her. Then she swung her around, slamming her into the ground over and over again by the seat of the pants. Jane wailed as she was pounded over and over again. Then there was a loud RRRIIIIP!
She-Hulk held up the torn pair of trousers in her hand and looked at them in confusion. Meanwhile, a pantsless Jane soared through the air in her polka dot underwear. Everyone watched until Jane flew out of sight.
"We can't afford to spread ourselves any thinner!" ordered Cap, "Everyone, attack!"
The whole group charged She-Hulk. She turned around and gave them a half smile.
Thor and Loki got to her first, Loki with two daggers in hand and Thor readying a punch charged with lightning. She-Hulk backhand struck Loki, sending her flying back into the bulldozer so hard it dented. She-Hulk clutched Thor's head when he was close enough and slammed it straight down into the ground, embedding him head first in the dirt. Thor tried to pull his head free, but couldn't quite manage it.
Spider-Man got to her next, webbing onto the partially constructed building beside her and swinging by just out of her reach.
This is perfect, thought Spider-Man, If I can keep her at a distance, I can avoid getting hit by her until she-
She-Hulk hocked an enormous loogie and spat it directly at Spider-Man. The high speed projectile hit the web slinger in the side of the head. The impact sent him flying off his web and into one of the building's girders, leaving him unconscious and thoroughly soaked in the saliva.
Jessica and Cap got there next. She-Hulk swung her arm at Jessica. The P.I. brought her arms up to defend herself moments before the open handed slap connected, sending pain ringing through her bones and launching her backwards. She hit Mockingbird and Firestar on the way back and they all collided with a pile of dirt, sending a cloud of it up into the air.
She-Hulk then effortlessly flicked Cap's shield out of his hands and grabbed him off the ground.
"Jen," he said, trying to pry himself free of her hand, "Come on! Come to your sens-"
She-Hulk shoved him into an empty cement mixer and then kicked it away, sending the captain careening across the lot until the impact of the mixer against a cement wall knocked him unconscious.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," groaned Loki in disgust, getting up and brushing dirt off her tunic.
The Goddess of Mischief was only a few steps away when She-Hulk grabbed her from behind and tucked her under her arm. Loki sighed in exasperation. Then She-Hulk slapped her on the rear with an open hand, causing Loki to yelp out in pain. She-Hulk repeated a dozen or so times, spanking Loki mercilessly before shoving her away.
"Ha… Ha… Ha…" laughed She-Hulk as Loki clutched her bottom, wincing in pain.
"I've had enough," she grumbled, disappearing in a green light.
"Rah!" roared Thor, finally freeing his head from the ground, "Let us continue, Jennifer Walters!"
She-Hulk turned to Thor. This time he wouldn't risk getting close enough to hit her. Thor charged electricity through his muscles and threw a stream of lightning directly at her. She-Hulk sidestepped the stream, moving at blinding speeds. The lightning continued and hit an exposed section of piping laid for the new building.
Thor screamed in pain as the lightning blew open the pipes and connected with the spray of water flooding out, conducting the electricity and sending right down the same stream back into Thor's fingertips. Thor collapsed on the ground, singed and smoldering. She-Hulk sprinted up to his limp body and punted it, sending Thor flying far beyond the horizon.
"Great," sighed Jessica, getting up off of Mockingbird and Firestar, "It's just us now."
"We can't give up," said Mockingbird, "We need to keep her distracted and waste her gamma radiation."
"I hate that I signed up for this," groaned Jessica.
"Let's go!" declared Mockingbird, charging at She-Hulk.
"Bobbi, no wait-!"
She-Hulk effortlessly grabbed Mockingbird and threw her into a headlock. She-Hulk then stuck one of her enormous fingers into her mouth. When she pulled it out, it trailed a long string of thick drool. She-Hulk then crammed the entire sopping mess of a finger into Mockingbird's ear, causing her to twitch and shriek.
Jessica reached out in concern, but upon seeing the look on her girlfriend's face couldn't help but laugh. She looked ridiculous, eyes bulging as she bit her lip in disgust. She-Hulk tossed Mockingbird aside. Mockingbird tried to get back up, but the copious amount of liquid in her ear was ruining her balance. She couldn't even stand.
Jessica's laughter was interrupted by She-Hulk grabbing her by the collar and lifting her high into the air. Jessica clutched onto She-Hulk's wrist and kicked at her arm with all her might, but it had no effect. She braced herself for whatever She-Hulk was going to do to her.
"HOT!" roared She-Hulk in agony, dropping Jessica to the ground.
Jessica looked up to see She-Hulk frantically patting down a fire that had lit on the seat of her pants, courtesy of Firestar. The red headed mutant smiled in satisfaction. She-Hulk sprinted off toward the exposed piping still spraying water. She shoved her butt into the stream and let out a sigh of relief. She turned to check on her singed behind, noting that her white and purple shorts were now clearly visible through the hole burned into her pants.
"What's the matter?" sneered Firestar, preparing another blast as she approached She-Hulk, "Can't take the HEAT?"
Firestar unleashed another heatray directly at She-Hulk. She-Hulk held up both hands in front of her, grimacing in pain as they began to burn. She-Hulk forced her way closer, keeping her hands up the whole time. Firestar soon realized her plan was doomed to fail. She cut the heatray short and turned to run, but that only gave She-Hulk the opportunity to run up and grab her.
"No fire!" shouted She-Hulk angrily, walking over to the piping.
"No, wait!" begged Firestar, "I'm sorry! I didn't mea- Glrbrlrblrlb!"
She-Hulk had shoved Firestar face first into the water stream, painfully spraying her face with the high pressure water as it flooded her nose and mouth while soaking her entire body. She-Hulk proudly held Firestar's soaking body aloft by the back of the uniform before hooking it to the same pole she used to launch Hellcat.
"Nnnnngh…" groaned Jessica, getting to her knees.
Then she felt an enormous hand grab onto the back of the waistband of her underwear.
"Oh God," she whispered in terror, "Not again…"
Jessica shrieked as the cotton tore into her. She-Hulk yanked the white fabric as high as she could before swinging Jessica about wildly by the waistband. Jessica screamed as she was bounced around the air, each bounce punching into her ass with the strength of She-Hulk. After a minute of this She-Hulk stopped, dangling Jessica in front of her by the now very-stretched underwear.
"Ehehnnnnn…" moaned Jessica.
She-Hulk returned to swinging Jessica around.
"COME ON!" screamed Jessica.
She-Hulk finished the last swing by slamming Jessica face down into the dirt. Jessica barely had time to get her bearings before She-Hulk lightly placed her foot on Jessica's back. Then she grabbed the stretched out fabric again.
"Please…" sobbed Jessica, "No moOOOOORE!"
She-Hulk had yanked up with all of her strength, holding Jessica down with her foot as she did. The result was the fabric slicing into Jessica more and more with each second of pulling. Jessica felt tears of pain welling up in her eyes. Then Jessica heard the most comforting noise she possibly could in that moment.
RRRIIIIIPPPP!
She-Hulk tore away the underwear, holding the unrecognizable sheet of torn white cotton with pride. Jessica sighed. At least it was over. Then Jessica felt both massive hands grab onto the back of the waistband of her jeans.
"...why?" squeaked Jessica fearfully.
She-Hulk ripped Jessica's jeans clear off in one motion, scraping the rough denim all along her crotch and ass as she did. Jessica let out a wail of pain before she was left completely pantsless, ass bare to the world. The fact that her socks and boots were still on made her look all the more ridiculous.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughed She-Hulk slowly, pointing at Jessica with glee, "Ha… Ha… Ha…"
She-Hulk sighed as her body slowly began to shrink, her muscles receding and her eyes fading back to brown. Soon Jennifer Walters was standing there in the construction site, holding her now stretched out jeans up to keep them from falling down. She looked about in confusion.
"What the…?" she wondered.
Then she saw Jessica.
"Oh my God!" she laughed, covering her mouth, "What happened to you?"
Jessica's face turned bright red as she dug her fingers into the dirt in embarrassment.
"Wait a minute," said Jennifer, "Where am I? What did- Oh no."
"Yeah," grunted Jessica, "and I hope you feel real bad about it."
"Hey everyone!" smiled Amadeus as the team walked back into his lab, "Great job!"
"Fuck yourself," spat Jessica, a towel wrapped around her waist to hide her naked lower half.
"What?" smirked Amadeus, "Embarrassed?"
"I swear to God," hissed Firestar, still getting water out of her ears, "I will roast you alive if you don't shut up."
Jane gave Amadeus an intense glare.
"Loki escaped because of you," she hissed, walking past.
The other angry and indignant heroes pushed their way past Amadeus on their way to get their supplies. Once they all did, they all pushed past him on the way out as well. Bobbi even gave him a shoulder check on her exit, causing him to stumble and cough.
"They pissed at you too?" asked Jennifer.
Amadeus looked up to see Jennifer, clothes in tatters, walking up to him.
"Guess so," shrugged Amadeus, "It's not my fault I'm more of a behind the scenes kinda guy."
"Hey," asked Jennifer, "Could you do me a favor?"
"Yeah?"
"I still have excess gamma radiation in me," she said, "Is there a way we can siphon some of it off with that machine?"
"Of course," said Amadeus, "It was the infinite part that complicated it before. If you only need some radiation gone, I can do that no problem."
So they did. Jennifer got into the pod and hooked herself up. Amadeus powered up the machine for a minute or two and then let her out. Jennifer practiced transforming into her old green She-Hulk form and then back again. It had worked.
"Thanks," she said, "I know they're mad, but we saved a lot of lives today."
"I guess we did," mused Amadeus.
Jennifer left not long afterwards. Amadeus began to close down for the night, powering down his computers and engines. He was going to power down the gamma radiation machine, but then he had a thought. He turned all the knobs to the negative and pulled the lever. He quickly rushed into the pod as it closed and hooked himself up to the wires.
"Won't be a behind the scenes kinda guy much longer," he smiled, "This is going to be totally awesome."