Hello people of planet Earth! So, I was reading My Immortal, and my brain broke because it was so bad. SO just because it'll be funny, I am writing a My Immortal commentary. Yes, I know there are many of these out there. Do I care? No. Might as well vent some sarcasm right here.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. That is disappointing. I also do not own My Immortal. I'm kind of glad I don't.

AN: Special fangz ("fangz"...? OH she means thanks...) (get it, coz Im goffik) (No. That's not even funny. How does being "goffik" give you "fangz"?) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) (I wasn't even thinking of that) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. (So it's Raven's fault this story is so horrible...? 'Cause she is NOT being helpful) U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! (Um... I'm happy for them?) MCR ROX! (Well, that was relevant...)

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (Holy crud, her parents must have really hated her) and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) (...Because she was born with long black hair. Of course) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears (Pro tip: Limpid is not an appealing adjective to use in any circumstance) and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) (I would leave, since I don't know who that is, but I'm not good at following orders and she didn't say please). [[I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie (Because, of course, incest is super awesome). I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white (Why? Braces and Crest whitestrips?). I have pale white skin (Why would we care? MLK had a dream, people.). I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (It's in Scotland, dimwit) where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen) (Thank you, we couldn't have done that math on our own). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) (How were we supposed to be able to tell?) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topicand I buy all my clothes from there (Note to self: Never EVER buy from Hot Topic). For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots (Again, why the heck would we care?). I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation (Doesn't she already have pale white skin...?), black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining (I'm pretty sure we call that sleet) so there was no sun (*facepalm* The sun was covered, but it was still there), which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me (Preps = normal non-Mary Sue people). I put up my middle finger at them. (What a polite, likable OC.)

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up (So she was looking down... and flipping people off at the same time?). It was…. (*dramatic pause*) Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked. (Nobody calls him Draco. Shut up, Ebony)

"Nothing." he said shyly. (1, Why would someone say hey, but then say nothing? No one does that. 2, Draco Malfoy is NEVER shy. That's just not who he is.)

But then, I heard my friends call me (*le gasp* She has friends?!) and I had to go away (Favorite clause, right there. "I had to go away." It was just beautiful).

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AN: IS it good? (LOL, NOPE!) PLZ tell me fangz! (I already gave my opinion.)

Ah, first chapter done! If anyone actually read that, then thank you! Please consider leaving even a very short review. Tell me what you thought! :D