"... How the hell did I get here."
Was Reimu Hakurei's first sentence upon inexplicably arriving at a seemingly normal looking living room, with bland white walls and a wooden floor, accomodated with a huge chandelier that lit up the entire room, a large couch in the middle of the room with a table, a white refrigerator, a large black panel attached to the front wall, a single wooden door to the left and apparently no windows.
"*Whistle*... This is a nice looking house."
She recognized that voice.
Turning around, and it was the one person she least, or actually, most expected to see first.
"Marisa!? What are you doing here?"
"Eh? Oh, Reimu! You're here too!" Marisa Kirisame, the proud human magician, exclaimed cheerily.
Meanwhile Reimu shot her a deadpan look. "You haven't answered my question. Is this-"
"I must say, this is certainly an... unexpected situation we're in."
"Wha!? / Yikes!!" Both Reimu and Marisa were surprised by the sudden arrival of another familiar face.
"H-hey... Patchy... s-surprised to see you here, umm.. oh yeah, about that book I borrowed last month, I'll give it back some time later, I swear!" Marisa was trying desperately to come up with an excuse towards the violet haired witch, Patchouli Knowledge.
"First of all, don't call me Patchy. We're not close enough for you to call me that yet. Second of all.. I don't have time to waste my breath on teaching you a lesson right now, as we have other problems to deal with, in case you haven't noticed." Patchouli coldly responded.
"What is this place? What is going on? Where is mistress Remilia?" Another new arrival had made herself known, garnering the attention of the other three people in the room.
"Sakuya? You were brought here too?" Patchouli curiously remarked, noticing the sudden appearance of the Scarlet Devil Mansion head maid, Sakuya Izayoi.
"Okay, why are there more and more people popping in out of nowhere right now!? Whose prank is this? Is this another weird messed up incident that I always have to fix myself?" Reimu is losing her patience. She hasn't even eaten breakfast yet, and already she was involved in more unwanted work.
"Reimu? Marisa? What are you doing here? And where exactly are we?" Yet another curious new voice in the room.
"Sanae... you too?" Reimu was really getting tired of new faces suddenly showing up out of nowhere, even more so one who is her rival. The aforementioned Sanae Kochiya, the Wind Priestess, was still looking around in confusion, and Reimu's sentence did not help much at all.
"Sanae? Isn't she the maiden of the Moriya shrine?" Sakuya softly muttered to herself.
"So the Moriya shrine maiden is here too.. I wonder who else is going to appear." Patchouli murmured contemplatively.
"Well, this is a genuine surprise."
Everyone in the room, most notably Marisa, turned towards the source of the voice. While others remained indifferent or mildly surprised, Marisa instead twitched her eye in annoyance.
"Oh... Alice, so pleasant to see you here.."
"Oh hello there, Marisa... so nice to see you too." Alice Margatroid calmly replied with an equally sarcastic tone.
Now Reimu could feel the tension suddenly rising out of nowhere. 'This is getting awkward.'
Then, another new but familiar voice.
"Huh!? Why am I suddenly here?" A certain purple haired moon rabbit asked herself.
"Reisen!?" Both Marisa and Sanae exclaimed.
"This is getting ridiculous." Reimu muttered. More and more people are suddenly appearing, and it was getting a little bit cramped in this room.
"The moon rabbit is here too? Interesting..." Patchouli remarked.
"Patchouli-sama, do you know what is going on?" Sakuya asked.
"Unfortunately, I myself am not very sure. Although, we may be able to blame a certain youkai for this." Patchouli replied.
Reisen Udongein Inaba, the self-proclaimed earth rabbit meanwhile, was still trying to wrap her head around her current situation. "I-I don't get it, I was just going to the village to sell more of Eirin-sama's medicine...then all of a sudden..."
"I was just cleaning my shrine as usual... Lady Kanako will surely notice I was gone.." Sanae remarked.
"I was uhh... gathering mushrooms in the Youkai Forest, for reasons." Marisa lied, trying to hide the fact that she actually went to 'borrow' some more books from the Scarlet Devil Mansion's library.
"You're a terrible liar, Marisa." Patchouli pointed out, seeing through her obvious deception.
"I was making tea for myself... and I didn't even get to drink it." Reimu depressively stated.
"My dolls are going to be worried when they realize I'm gone.." Alice muttered to herself, no longer feeling the connection to her dolls.
Marisa decided to speak her thoughts out. "I've experienced some weird freaky stuff in my life before in this place we call Gensokyo, but this has got to be the weirdest one yet. Reimu, you don't think...?"
"There's only one person I know that could do all of this, so yeah, I think it's definitely her." Reimu replied coldly.
Sakuya raised an eyebrow. "You're saying, this is all because of...-"
"Actually, that's where you're wrong."
As if fate decided to play with them, the primary suspect of this 'incident" revealed herself.
"Yukari Yakumo!?" Both Marisa and Reimu shouted.
"So the 'gap youkai' has finally shown herself. At such good timing too." Alice calmly noted.
"Yukari... what do you mean, we were wrong? " Patchouli asked.
Yukari Yakumo's eyes scanned across the entire room, eyeing everyone aside from her. Suddenly, she sighed.
"I know what all of you are thinking, and it isn't unreasonable for you to think so. However, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid your assumptions are incorrect.
I am not the one behind all of this."
Her words shocked everyone in the room.
Patchouli and Sakuya were wide-eyed, but otherwise kept their composure. Alice raised an eyebrow, intrigued by this unique circumstance. The others, were jaw-dropped, having known the reputation of the true power of the youkai.
Yukari Yakumo is a being shrouded in mystery. No one truly knows her motivations, but most inhabitants of Gensokyo had come to recognize her position, as well as her strength.
And most often when any incidents that threaten the stability of life in Gensokyo happen, she is often always the one manipulating events behind the curtains, for her own unknown reasons.
And to think, that one of the wisest of all the youkai, was also now a victim of this particular 'incident', told them that this is not going to be like usual.
"The truth is... I was brought here out of my own volition just like all of you."
"Huh? So apparently the strongest youkai herself is now being played like everyone else? Talk about irony." Marisa playfully joked.
"Wait a second, if you're not behind this, then... who is?" Reimu queried.
Yukari sighed once again. "I'm afraid I don't really know."
"To think that there would be another being who could leave even the mysterious gap youkai clueless..." Patchouli warily remarked.
"But, can't Yukari-san just use her powers to open a sort of dimensional gap to get us all out of here?" Sanae reminded everyone.
Yakuri only smiled in response. "Perhaps I could, but... I am honestly quite curious to see what being had decided to bring all of us here in this random location. Maybe if we're patient enough, the one behind this will eventually reveal themselves."
As she finished her sentence, the large black panel in the wall facing the room suddenly lit up, catching everyone's attention.
"Whoa, what is that thing?" Marisa excitedly said out loud.
"I think that's a... flat screen television." Sanae answered, showing her affiliation with modern outside world technology.
"Whoa, what does it do?"
"Well... it's like a regular television, but thinner..?"
"Are we supposed to look at it then?" Reisen mused.
"Hold on, there is an image forming." Patchouli pointed out.
For a few seconds, there was only static. Then a clear white image began to form, before eventually, the screen became clear and a silhouette emerged in the middle of the screen, amidst a plain white background.
The silhoutte is pitch white with only a faint dark outline to make out its shape, almost featureless in appearance yet retaining a male physique.
Everyone was now paying close attention to the television screen. The faceless silhouette, suddenly formed a mouth, and it was... grinning?
Suddenly, the silhouette began to speak.
"Greetings, fellow guests."
The silhouette had a masculine, yet at the same time, feminine voice. And did it just call them guests?
"That thing looks a bit creepy..." Sanae spoke, voicing her thoughts out loud.
"It sounds creepy too." Reimu added.
Yukari Yakumo narrowed her eyes, thoroughly perplexed. "Who... what, are you?"
"What am I? Excellent question, youkai.
However, the answer may not be what you come to expect. In fact, there may be no singular true answer.
I am what you may call a god of sorts, or maybe the singular God. I am also what you may call fate itself. Perhaps I am also the source of all life, and yet I am also death personified. I am the origin of everything, and the end of everything.
I am the first and last thing you will ever see. I am what you believe or do not believe. I am the one who represents all that exists, and all that doesn't exist. I am one, but also all. I transcend all boundaries, yet all boundaries come from me. I am one, and I am also all.
I am the world itself, and the moon, and the stars, and the universe, and everything beyond. I am also you, and everyone you have ever met, as well as everyone you will never meet. I am all that is alive, and all that is dead. I am everything. Everything is me.
As for what I am called? That is up to you. I have many faces, but I also have none. I am one with no name, yet all names belong to me. I am You. I am God. I am Fate. I am Death. I am Truth."
... that was alot to take in.
Actually, a lot would be an understatement.
Aside from Yukari Yakumo, pretty much everyone in the room either had their jaws almost literally dropped, or their eyes almost popping out of their sockets.
Yukari herself, however, merely smiled.
'Interesting.'
This being... apparently proclaimed itself to be the personification of reality itself and everything that exists. It claimed to be boundless in nature, as in having no boundaries, which might mean she would have no power over it. She was tempted to test the validity of its claims, but for now, she might be willing to play along.
She was actually in the middle of her sleep when a sudden burst of energy sprouted forth into her domain and awoke her. And before she could do anything, she was already here.
Oh well, it wasn't like she had any other plans today anyway. Just like Marisa said, she had always been the one pulling the strings behind most of the interesting stuff happening in Gensokyo. And now, being the one whose strings are now being pulled on, it felt like nothing short of karma finally catching up to her.
"I... don't understand anything at all." Marisa admitted, feeling a little light-headed.
"I don't get it too." Reimu replied with a deadpan look.
"What does he mean by saying... he is all? " Sanae asked.
"How can we be sure that being's even a he to begin with, it probably doesn't have genders at all." Alice remarked.
"Shouldn't we try to find a way out of here? Lady Kaguya is not going to be happy if I don't come back in time..." Reisen uttered, concerned about disappointing her current master.
Meanwhile, Marisa was eyeing on the only door in the room. "Hold on, there's a door here! Maybe this is the way-"
Creak-
"-Ahh, nevermind. It's just a bathroom."
"What do you think? Of course it won't be that easy." Reimu nonchalantly explained. She was quite used to dealing with strange events with no explanation at this point, though never anything actually quite as strange as this.
"Is there a particular reason you brought all of us here... Truth?" Yukari questioned the silhouette. To which the latter only grinned wider.
"My reasons are not ones you need to know, or even ones you would understand. However, I can tell you what you shall be doing for the duration of your stay here.
Your purpose here... is entertainment."
"Eh?"
"What?"
"I still don't get it."
The 'guests' from Gensokyo were still trying their best to understand the silhouette's cryptic words.
"To put it simply... various types of information or pieces of media from the outside world will be displayed in this screen, and you are only obligated to watch it, or rather, react to it. That's it. Nothing else.
These forms of visual information will range from a multitude of origins, mostly from what the outside world calls the Internet, and contain various themes, whether it be real or fiction, amusing or horrifying, irrelevant or impactful. You may sometimes also be needed to interact with it as well, if such media includes games, among others.
The possibilities are as endless as the expanse of knowledge the outside world possess... I cannot guarantee what sort of feelings it may bring you, but one thing is for sure, it will be entertaining.
Not for you, necessarily. But do not let that hold your possible enjoyment back."
... is it actually what she thinks it is? No. It couldn't be.
"... so what you're saying, is that you want all of us... to watch television?" Yukari surmised.
"Exactly."
And that broke the camel's back.
"...Heh...heh heh... ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha haha hahahahahahah!!!" Yukari howled in laughter, completely shocking the rest of the room. Everyone else had no choice but to watch, eyes wide, as one of the strongest youkai in Gensokyo, laughed endlessly while holding her stomach.
She couldn't believe it. This enigmatic being with seemingly limitless power, who could kidnap some of the most powerful beings in Gensokyo for its own amusement easily bypassing the Great Hakurei Barrier, did all of this work to gather them in one place completely separate from their known reality, just to make them do something so trivial like watching some TV?
Not to invade Gensokyo, or provoke the Lunarians, or expose Gensokyo to the outside world, or anything that could upset the balance or affect the lives of all humans, gods or youkai. No, it just wants them to surf the internet.
So much for common sense. There was no point trying to be logical anymore.
"Holy hell... Yukari has lost it." Reimu couldn't believe her own words, yet her eyes couldn't be deceiving her right now.
"...well, this is most definitely, er... unexpected." Patchouli was trying as hard as she could to keep her composure.
"Wait... so this silhouette is just telling us to chill and watch whatever it wants to show us?" Sanae was also just as perplexed as Yukari was, though she was still trying desperately to find the logic behind it all, while Yukari had already given up doing just that.
The blonde youkai continued laughing for what felt like minutes, until her voice eventually died down. Then, she proceeded towards the couch, and took a seat, intent on simply listening to the silhouette some more.
"-Ahem... well, that certainly helped relieve me of all my tensions. I guess there's no point trying to beat around the bush anymore, is there?
So, is that all you need us to do? And what happens next? How long do we need to do so?"
The silhouette smiled once more.
"Unfortunately for you, how long you will stay here, is not up to you. You are obligated to stay for as long as needed, and you need not know how long exactly that would be.
As for what you will be watching, that is also not your choice, like it or not. Instead of giving you the illusion of free choice, I will take the liberty of choosing for you. This may change in the future, however, so do not be disappointed.
As for what happens next? Simple. You will be returned to where you previously were during all of this, free to continue living your lives, except now with the added knowledge of everything you would have obtained in here.
And do not worry about your time. As long as you remain here, time in the real world will not pass by much. In fact, an hour here could easily translate into a second in Gensokyo. So you would have all the time in the world."
"Hold on, so we just have to stay here for god knows how long, and is basically forced to watch whatever this guy in the TV tells us to? I don't have time for that!" Reimu yelled in defiance.
"Didn't you hear what 'Truth' said? We have all the time we need without worrying about our unfinished affairs in Gensokyo." Yukari calmly replied.
"Why are you just complying with this faceless freak? Aren't you going to open up a gap for us to go back?" Reimu retorted.
And then, Yukari finally dropped the bomb. "Wouldn't you think that if I could, I would've done so already?"
"Wha.." Now they were all certainly dumbfounded to the core.
She was telling the truth. She had been trying to open a gap within the room from the moment "Truth" revealed the reasons for them being held there without their consent. And when she realized, she was no longer able to manipulate the fabrics of space itself to open a portal back to her house, it was evident that this silhouette is really telling the truth.
And that, was what eventually pushed her into abandoning all reasoning and just laughed it all away.
While the others were busy trying to recollect themselves, one particular blonde magician thought it would be a good idea to use her magic to blast a hole in the wall and just escape from there.
Booom
The result, was a deafening explosion sound and a blinding white light filling the entire living room, surprising everyone. As if there hasn't been enough surprises already.
"What was that just now!?" Reimu exclaimed, covering her eyes from the bright light.
"I think a bomb just went off!!" Sanae shouted.
"What!?" Alice also shouted, while still covering her ears.
"Ahh, no!!! Eirin-sama's medicine!!" Reisen cried out, desperately holding on to the bag of Eirin Yagakoro's special medicines she was supposed to sell earlier.
"Actually, I don't think that's the case..! " Patchouli pointed out, already knowing who was responsible.
As the light finally faded, everyone turned to glare at Marisa, holding her mini-Hakkero, which was now smoking from the recent non-danmaku spell.
And the wall she was aiming at didn't even have a single scratch on it.
"Well... I guess that method didn't work.. my bad." Marisa sheepishly delivered a terrible apology to the rest of the group for the sudden disturbance.
"Of course it wouldn't work! It would never be that easy! Why would a godlike entity trap us in a weird room is we could easily bust out of it?" Reimu blatantly pointed out.
"For a magician, you're not very smart, are you, Marisa? Why would you use such a destructive spell in such a small area? You could've gotten the rest of us hurt, you know~." Alice mocked her, while hiding her smile.
"I didn't have a choice! I thought we could brute force our way outta here, but.. well, that wall is more solid than I thought!" Another weak excuse from Marisa, to which everyone simply chose to ignore.
"So... we're all just stuck here?" Reisen weakly asked.
"... Yep." Reimu replied, no longer caring about any of this. If even Marisa couldn't tear a hole in the wall, and Yukari Yakumo herself couldn't get them out of here, then so be it.
This might actually be a blessing in disguise. She had dealt with so many incidents in the past, doing so much work to restore peace to Gensokyo, and rarely ever actually get the appropriate reward for them. Sometimes not even a thank you. Her shrine was still gathering dust instead of visitors as usual. In that case, this might be a chance for her to relax and enjoy the rest she most definitely deserved.
"I think we're going to have to watch alot of cultural media related to the outside world, if that is what the silhouette means, which I am mostly quite familiar with, but I'm not sure most of you would be able to understand, or even tolerate them... " Sanae remarked, making the others stare at her in curiosity.
"If this self-proclaimed God, or Fate, or whatever name it pleases is telling the truth, then so be it. We should try to calm down and do as it says." Sakuya concluded. She had a feeling her spacetime manipulation power isn't going to work here as well considering even Yukari herself couldn't do anything, and even if it could, it wasn't like she could open portals anyway.
She was quite worried about leaving her mistress Remilia Scarlet all alone in her mansion. Sure, there were still the fairy maids and Hong Meiling to accompany her, but she was the one who had to essentially babysit the Scarlet Devil.
"I agree, Sakuya-san. Perhaps we should all take a seat on the couch and make ourselves comfortable, if we are going to be here for a while." Patchouli suggested, to which everyone except Yukari, who had already done so, reluctantly agreed upon.
'Kanako-sama, Suwako-sama... I hope you won't notice that I'll be gone for a short while... ' Sanae thought to herself.
'Kaguya-sama... please don't be mad if I were to come back late... ' Reisen essentially prayed to herself.
'Man... this feels boring. I hope whatever comes up on this "flat screen television" is worth my attention.' Marisa spoke in her own thoughts.
Deciding that all of its guests had finally settled with their current circumstances, the silhouette grinned one last time.
"Very well. I trust that all of you are now going to behave, in which case, it is time for me to leave you to your devices. I should remind you, however, that I will always be watching. Whether you realize it or not.
If you ever feel hungry or thirsty, that white refrigerator to your right can summon whatever food or drinks you desire. And the bathroom, as you already know it, is to the left. Just in case.
Farewell, fellow residents of Gensokyo. We shall meet again some time.
Until then, enjoy your stay."
And just like that, the screen returned to the same static as before. The mysterious silhouette is now seemingly gone. Though if anything is to be expected, this entity might still be present somehow, just unnoticeable by them.
Reimu eyed the large white box to her left. So it could summon whatever she wants? Oh well, at least she would still be able to have her morning tea.
But for now, her eyes darted towards the large flat screen on the wall, still covered in static, though she knew it wouldn't stay the same for long.
'What will we be watching?'
Author's Note
I did not plan this. At all.
The last Touhou game I've played was Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom, and even that one I never actually finished due to being busy with other stuff in my life. And it wasn't like I played all of the Touhou games before that too.
So how the heck did this fanfic come into existence? Well, you can blame boredom for that. Or just a misplaced motivation to write. I've always wondered how the citizens of Gensokyo would actually react to stuff from the outside world, or more notably, the Internet. It was just a fun thought. Which I have now transformed into a fanfic.
This is just an introductory chapter to set up the basis of what will happen. The premise? Basically, the Touhou cast will react to... well, anything, really.
Cat videos? Vines? Top 10 lists? Movie or game trailers? Actually playing video games? Sure, why not. If it's on the internet, they're probably going to react to it.
Their own games? Their parodies and spin-offs? Their NSFW stuff? The possibilities are almost endless. I haven't really decided what I want them to react to first, though. Let's just see how it goes.
Could I add more characters? Probably. Only problem would be trying to juggle so many characters at once. But who knows.
I try my best to keep the characters to their canon personalities and backgrounds while also avoiding their often exaggerated fanon versions, but keep in mind I haven't read all of the manga or played all of the games myself, so forgive me if some of the characters may appear OOC or some of their character details may be incorrect.
For those wondering, yes, the silhouette in the story is indeed a direct inspiration from the character of Truth from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. But they are not really the same character, per se? I added my own elements into it. By making this rendition of Truth pretty much omnipotent and all-powerful. I have a feeling I might piss off some Yukari Yakumo fans out there by possibly lowballing her abilities. Sorry, but not sorry, this is my story. Just bear with it, okay?
Also, I'm not very frequent on updates, so don't be surprised if I don't update this story for a while. Just saying, if you do end up liking this. Don't get your hopes up.
Thank you for reading. Until next time.