A/N: Happy Holidays!

Here's that Christmas surprise I promised you all; I'll be updating again Saturday and Sunday, provided my health holds.

Sorry if this seems short, as mentioned I lost a lot of my old files when my computer went up in smoke. Meaning I had to start SEVERAL incoming chapters from scratch, A Fly In the Ointment, Untraveled Road, and Die Another Day chief among them.

However! I'm not going to let that stop me! nay, far from it, I'm determined to keep going.

Feels like I'm in and out of the hospital these days; thank goodness for speech-to-text or I'd never get anything done...

As ever, I own no references themes or memes. And this one's full of 'em.

Hope you're all having a lovely holiday.

"What's wrong with being broken? After all, we're all mad here."

~Moon Cancer.

A Most Unlikely Holiday (Prelude)

"How long are you going to keep me like this?!"

If her captor had a response to give her, he didn't seem keen on offering it up to BB.

Nay, he kept walking, restructuring the Moon Cell as he went. And she, in her reduced state, had no choice but to follow. Blast these little legs. She could barely keep up with him. Dodging the data streams he created proved downright difficult in her child form. Deciphering the inane gibberish he spouted? Even moreso. Much to her chagrin, he'd taken her authority and gone right to work restarting the Holy Grail War. By itself, that shouldn't have been overly concerning. But he'd stolen enough of her functions to know what she'd been getting up to. Meaning he was even now twisting her plans into something else entirely.

And there wasn't a bloody thing she could do to stop him.

"Alright, a little snow here, a few trees there...oh! Can't forget the presents~!"

BB felt a muscle jump in her jaw. A towering tree bedecked with lights sprouted where she'd been standing a moment before and nearly sent her shooting into the sky.

"Hey!" A stray snowflake settled on her nose. She scowled and shook her head. "Watch where you're throwing those!"

"Oh, my." Naruto's voice chided ahead of her Did you hear something Protea?"

"Not a thing, darling~!"

There really was such a thing as getting too into the season. Bad enough that he'd let a certain monstrosity out, but this?! He was turning the entire Moon Cell into a winter wonderland!

Even now King Protea skipped along after Naruto like a lovestruck puppy, clad in a scintillating santa outfit that would've left Blackbeard himself dying in a pool of his own blood. BB wasn't fooled for a moment. Even with the restrictions placed upon her, she knew that "thing" could regain her towering height in an instant. If she took it into her head to annihilate them, they were doomed. There was a reason she'd been sealed away. Thirty meters. There was no fighting someone of that size.

But she hadn't done anything yet., and so this blasted Christmas farce persisted.

Her thoughts turned inward as her creation chatted with him, utterly uncaring of the winter wonderland their new master was creating. BB bridled at it all.

So long as she lived, Hakuno wouldn't be deleted. That precious little girl would continue to exist. That mattered...and yet...and YET...

Why did he have to be so infuriating?!

At this rate, he was going to recruit the rest of the Sakura Five by the time the week was done. Just the thought of it galled her. Her own creations, turned against her?! Nope! Nu-uh! Not happening! Absolutely not! She'd sooner smash her own head in than give him the satisfaction of lording her minions over her! Never, never, never!

"Are you sure she's this way?" Naruto's voice rang out.

"Yup." Protea pointed a finger to the east. "I can sense her. Melt's just up ahead. Her domain isn't hard to find."

...was what BB would like to say, but she didn't have any power to stop him! Stupid Protea! Traitor! Baaackstabbeeeer!

"You're going to give yourself wrinkles if you keep sulking like that." Naruto chided.

BB puffed out her cheeks in a childish-fitting, given her temporary appearance-fit of defiance and refused to be swayed. She couldn't fight back like this; all her strength had been stolen, leaving her with a mere facsimile of her former might. She could no sooner harm Naruto than she could defeat Protea by herself. The knowledge burned. As she was now, she was little more than their lackey. She could not fight them, couldn't overpower them and she certainly couldn't torment them.

In a fit of pique, BB used the only weapon left her. Words.

"Lolicon!"

That got a reaction from them.

Naruto's head whipped around with an audible crack. "WHAT?! I am not!"

Protea giggled in agreement for all the wrong reasons. "He certainly isn't. Not after last night...

"Are too!" BB stamped a foot like the child she was. "Change me back! Right now! Or I'll keep calling you a lolicon!"

Naruto palmed his face. "Why am I putting up with you again? Oh, right. I'm a masochist."

"Wait, but that implies that you're just as-

BONK!

Naruto lowered his hand. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

BB rubbed the welt on her head.

...nothing."

"Good girl. Now, its time we found you something a little more festive to wear."

"What? No. I like what I'm wearing." BB went still. "You wouldn't dare."

Blue eyes twinkled like the stars overhead. "Wouldn't I?"

(.0.0.0.)

Meltlilith had grown used to being alone.

These hands of hers could never hold anything; nothing she could feel ad any rate. It didn't matter if she could move them, not when they were like this. She was destined to destroy and consume all. To melt her enemies, flesh and soul. Much like her namesake. BB had been feeling poetic that day. It made her hate that wretched little witch all the more. She'd given her this wretched body, these ugly legs, this twisted temper. It was in tiny moments of clarity like these that she released just how broken she was.

Never to have, never to hold, always and ever to be alone. That was her fate. Not much pointing whining about it.

A snowflake struck her nose, drawing the gloomy girl from her reverie.

Wait. Why the hell was it snowing? It didn't snow in the Moon Cell. Weather wasn't a factor here. Hell, there was no weather here! Only night and day. A neverending cycle that went on without end. There was no wind in the Moon Cell. No rain. And certainly no snow!

As she looked on aghast, her domain began to change. It wasn't simply snow now. Not at all. Trees sprouted and the faint sound of ringing bells swelled through the air, the gloomy atmosphere carved away by something infinitely more powerful.

Hohoho! Hello~! I come bearing gifts~!"

So when some cheeky blond bastard came waltzing into her domain, naturally she took notice. The outfit helped. More than it should have; if only because it kept her from cutting him down on the spot. Why the hell was he dressed up as Santa Claus? Why was there a sack over his shoulder? Nevermind that. Was that Protea behind him? And BB?! Why did their outfits match?!

What was going on here?!

He marched right up to her and slammed his forehead against hes. Gah! Too close! Way too close! Aqua orbs met cerulean and one yielded.

"You're Melt, right?" bright blue eyes bored into her.

"Y-Yeah?" she flushed. "What the hell do you want? Its not as if I care-

Quick as a flash, blond pushed a wrapped blue-white present into her hands. "Merry Christmas."

The Alter Ego gazed down at the gift resting in her hands and blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Numb fingers cradled the delicate box and its heavy wrapping paper close. A warm, almost pleased flush spread from her neck to consume the very vestiges of her face. Finally, she found her voice. It emerged not in a shout or a snarl, or even a hiss.

"For me...?"

A/N: Happy Holidays.

Here we are, a merry little update while I get the big stories ready. Hope you enjoyed it.

Stay safe out there, and have a happy new year as well!

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

Potential ones at that.

(Previews)

"So. This is a Holy Grail, eh? Not much to look at, is it?"

Passionlip yawned and rolled over. "Come back to bed already...m' tired...

R&R~!