Unbeta'd.
It's totally okay to think about kissing your platonic work partner.
Merry Christmas.
December 17th, 2007.
Cuddling can be platonic, Tobi tells himself. There's nothing wrong with cuddling up with your work friend for warmth and comfort. Sometimes Deidara gets cold and apparently, sometimes Tobi gets nightmares. And there's nothing wrong with helping each other through those things if they can.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, Tobi tells himself.
And it's not wrong to find this physical closeness comforting, either. That's the whole point, isn't it? To be comfortable?
Tobi especially doesn't think it's wrong to enjoy it. That's not a sin at all. How can it be? It's only human nature, right?
And Tobi thinks, with a little hesitation, it's okay that he likes the way Deidara fits in his arms. He thinks it's okay that he likes the feeling of Deidara's hair brushing up against his cheek. He thinks it's okay that he likes to feel Deidara's heartbeat when he wraps his arm around his chest.
He thinks it's especially okay when Deidara doesn't stop him from playing with his hair sometimes. He thinks it's very okay when Deidara smiles whenever he does, with his cheeks pink and eyes downcast.
Tobi shifts, slotting one of his legs between Deidara's. He can feel Deidara's stuttering breath on his hand.
It's fine, Tobi thinks. This is okay.
It's okay to like the way Deidara is pressing up against him. And it's okay that he's leaning in now to bury his nose in Deidara's hair.
And it's okay, he tells himself, that the smell of Deidara's hair calms him, even though he can feel his heartbeat in his throat.
It's the heat from the covers, he tells himself. It's warm underneath here with Deidara.
He can feel Deidara shiver. Maybe it's not warm enough.
Deidara moves. He can feel the rippling of his muscles under his hand. Tobi leans back and lets Deidara turn over to his other side—turning over to face him.
Tobi looks at him in the eyes. He holds his breath, then lets it out slowly. Deidara smiles.
"Hi," Deidara says.
"Hi," Tobi replies.
Tobi takes in the way Deidara's skin seems to glow under the morning light. He thinks that it is soft, so he reaches up and grazes his knuckles against his cheek. He feels Deidara move, so he asks, "Is this okay?"
Deidara doesn't say anything. He's not looking at him anymore, so Tobi can see his golden eyelashes flutter with every blink. Tobi brushes his knuckles further up, pushing back the fallen strands of hair. He tucks them behind Deidara's ear, and then he feels Deidara lean back.
Tobi pulls away. He wants to apologize, but he swallows his words when he notices Deidara looking at him.
He stays where he is, focusing on the way Deidara's lips move in the slightest way, as Deidara places a hand on his scarred cheek.
He feels Deidara's thumb stroking one of the deeper cuts. Tobi wraps his hand around Deidara's wrist, and he just holds it there.
Deidara's hands are warm and Tobi tells himself that it's okay that he enjoys it.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. For a moment, he thinks, everything is okay. He can hear the birds sing just outside the window, and he can feel the fabric of the pillow he is resting his head on. He can feel Deidara move.
Tobi opens his eyes and watches as Deidara shuffles forward. He holds his breath as Deidara presses their foreheads together, and he holds his gaze when Deidara looks right at him.
He lets out a stuttering breath, and Deidara huffs out a laugh. Tobi grins, then they descend into soft laughter.
Tobi lets go of Deidara's wrist and Deidara pulls his hand away. Tobi places his hand on Deidara's hip, just a gentle touch, and Deidara places his hand on Tobi's arm.
Licking his lips, Tobi murmurs, "Is this okay?"
Deidara closes his eyes and his grip on Tobi's arm tightens just a little. "Shut up, hm," he murmurs in reply.
Tobi laughs. He runs his hand from Deidara's hip to the small of his back. He rubs circles with his thumb there. Deidara takes a stuttering breath and Tobi licks his lips again.
And he tells himself it's okay to want to kiss Deidara right now. It's only a natural reaction. Yes, a natural reaction.
Deidara snuggles a little closer, and Tobi can feel his heart in his throat.
And he finds himself looking at Deidara's lips.
Tobi slides his hand up Deidara's back, but he stops when Deidara shivers.
"What're you doing?" He hears Deidara mutter.
Tobi wants to apologize, but he tells himself that it's okay. Still, he looks away from Deidara's mouth.
"Do you want me to stop?" Tobi asks.
Deidara bites his bottom lip, then he shakes his head.
"Okay," Tobi says, and he keeps rubbing circles into Deidara's skin with his thumb.
Tobi doesn't go any further, nor does Deidara ask for anything else. So, he doesn't do anything else. Tobi thinks that it's okay things are like this now. He thinks it's okay indeed.
Hey guys, Red here!
This fic is brought to you by "I am tired of writing for deadlines so I will set a deadline for myself to finish and upload this on or before Christmas."
One semester down, another one to go. Hopefully, I will still have time to write for myself (and for T/ObiDei) when I get out into the "real world." I really liked writing for myself again.
The date at the top is completely arbitrary.
Thank you for reading! Follow me on Tumblr (redskiez dot net) and I also have a ko-fi (ko-fi dot com forward slash redskiez). Please consider supporting me for what I do and buy me a coffee.