05:30pm, medical ward
What happened?
He didn't remember much, as consciousness made its unwelcome return.
I was piloting the Eva...there was a Seraph attack... Then things he really didn't want to feel coursed through his memory.
Light...heat...pain...death.
Shinji awoke with a yelp of fear.
He was in a hospital room, one of NERV's. The same overpowering artificial light was something of a giveaway. Sitting up slowly, he found his body, his naked body, shaking.
It hurt...it hurt so much.
Now he was rubbing his chest, expecting to find horrific burns like the ones he'd seen at those refugee camps during the Pacific War. But there were fortunately no great patches of singed and blackened flesh covering the area over his heart. Just normal skin.
No boiling...no melting...no bubbling...
He felt weak, but the idea of falling asleep and going back into his personal realm of nightmares, was not something he found appealing. So he positioned himself against the headrest of his bed, propping himself up with a pillow.
For minutes on end all he did was breathe deeply. In and out. As if trying to exorcise himself of all his fears, a few clenchings of the fist being an echo of his mother's teachings on how to deal with such feelings. Even then, with memory of his mother in mind, Shinji didn't stop being afraid.
Neither did he stop shaking.
The room's door slid open as Tenka walked in.
"I bet you didn't want to wake up in here again, did you?" He said sadly, hands clasped behind his back.
Shinji didn't say anything, he just stared down at his balled fists, absorbed by his fears.
The doctor brought himself over to the bedside, standing just beside it. A look of concern in his gruff brown eyes.
"Right, I'll cut to the chase as I know you don't like being asked questions." He managed to smile before continuing.
"Physically you are unharmed...but I haven't been able to account for the psychological damage..."
"I...I...remember. It hurt..." Shinji croaked.
"It hurt. I've seen men go mad from much less than that, some not even being able to walk or talk anymore. You're a tough little sod aren't you?"
"I don't feel tough."
"Well the fact you can even feel is a good sign. But tell me...how do you feel in yourself?"
"I...I..." The boy stammered, as he tried to describe his position. But it was more difficult than usual, especially after...
Then the thing that did this to him, came to mind.
"It's still there...isn't it?" He whimpered, eyes widening in terror.
"You mean the Seraph? Yes...yes it is..." The doctor said darkly, reflecting on just how the hell humanity was going to survive this one, let alone the eleven yet to come.
Very quickly however, his senses informed him his patient's breathing was increasing.
"It's waiting for me...I can't go back out there...I can't...it'll kill me...it'll kill me!" Shinji's voice rose to a scream as he rocked back and forth, sweat trickling down his forehead, tears gushing from his widened with fear cerulean eyes.
"Shinji, focus on me, ignore everything else and do exactly as I tell you. Breath deeply and slowly, can you do that?" Tenka said firmly, placing a strong hand on the boy's shoulder.
Some of the other section 5 staff dashed in, only for him to raise a hand and quietly shoo them away. A pair of red eyes poked around the corner, forcing the doctor give them a look of "you too."
The albino's gaze disappeared.
Don't crowd him, but let him know I'm here and wait for it to pass.
Shinji's breathing eventually slowed, to only the occasional whimper.
"That's it...that's it..." Tenka's hand didn't once leave the young man's shoulder.
Full blown panic attack. He's terrified.
The boy's head hung low, those previous tears dripping onto the sheets.
Earlier in his panic, he had accidentally thrown them back a little, leaving a certain area...exposed. Tenka chose not to point this out, as Shinji wa certainly not in the right place for it.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." He whispered.
"Sorry? Nothing to be sorry for." Tenka patted him on the back.
"I'm going to be honest. They do want you back in the Eva, they've come up with a plan to kill that thing above us...but even then it's your choice. There's still a few hours before the operation begins, plenty of time to think."
No response.
"I'll let you rest." He left that thought with Shinji, before standing up and leaving.
And thus the wimpy brown head thought about the subject at hand, without melting down again.
It'll kill me...but I guess that was always a risk, I just didn't realize how much of one it was until today...
He ran a hand through his mousey hair and quietly sighed.
I was scared when I did it the first time, but now...that's the closest I've ever come to actually dying. I don't want to feel that again, but if I don't pilot it...Oh I was so stupid, "I've killed two before, I can kill this one?" How could I ever...as if I could...gah, stupid...
He quickly reassured himself.
No. Ayanami-san's better now, she wouldn't mess up like I would. The world's safer with her...I hope she'd understand...I'd just get more people killed. They don't need me anymore, no one does.
"Pilot Ikari." A quiet voice with which he was all too familiar, caused Shinji to jump.
Pushing a hospital table in, packaged plugsuit under arm, was Rei Ayanami.
Unknown to him, she had not left the medical ward in hours, keeping a constant watch on him. In fact, in her own way, she had insisted on the performing of this "duty."
"Oh...hey, Ayanami-san. I didn't know you were here..." Shinji stammered as she wheeled the trolley over to his bedside.
"I have brought you sustenance." She stated.
I can see that. He inwardly chuckled, not having the strength to actually do it. This bluntness and total lack of subtlety was so very much Rei. Bizarrely, it could be said this near void of personality, could count as a personality in itself.
"Thanks." Shinji weakly nodded, before she dumped the plugsuit on the bed.
"Your suit."
He looked at it with a sullen expression, sighing and letting his shoulders slump.
"Ayanami-san...I..."
"You do not wish to do it."
"...Yes." He nodded, ashamed.
"Why?"
He huffed for a few moments as he struggled to think of something to say back, before the words spilled forth.
"Because I'm scared alright. I've never been more scared in my life. I almost died out there and my father didn't even-" He stopped himself, his expression turning into one of horror.
No, I don't want anything from him! Nothing at all! He left me on that platform like I was trash, I don't want his recognition, I don't want his love!
"Then it is fear of death that drives you?" Rei said.
"Heh...yeah...I always thought my life was worthless. But...as pathetic as it is...I don't want to lose it. And anyway-" He gingerly made eye contact with her again.
"You're better at it. NERV needs you, not me."
"But my Pilot Link is inferior to yours..."
"Damn it, you know what I mean. You aren't a coward, you aren't dishonest, you aren't sneaky...and you aren't a wimp." He trailed off. The albino merely blinked.
"For the operation against the 6th Seraph to proceed at maximum efficiency, both Units 00 and 01 are required. If you do not Pilot the Eva, then chances of the Seraphim's victory increase by a significant percentage, as does your chance of death. Therefore, it is more logical for you to fight." Her voice never rose or fell, but her words hit him harder than anything harsh or cold.
It was the truth.
And Shinji hated how the thought of self preservation might be the only thing capable of motivating him to get back in the Eva.
"The operation begins in five hours. You have until then to make a decision..." Her red gaze angled downwards and stopped at a specific point.
"You may wish to pull your sheets up."
He looked confused for a moment, before realising his underparts were feeling far too cool for having sheets upon them. Shrieking in embarrassment and yanking them over his low calibre main gun, he missed watching Rei walk out the room, despite his wish to say more to her.
The boy was alone again.
6:00pm, Command bridge
"So...how dead are we this time?" First Lieutenant Shigeru Aoba fiddled with his fingers whilst lying back in his chair.
"Hopefully not that much." Makoto replied curtly, as he attempted to focus on his work.
"Willing to bet on that?" The long haired misanthrope chuckled.
"No. You have fleeced me enough." The bespectacled Otaku adjusted his glasses.
Could never see shit without these things
"Hmph, you're no fun. What about you, Ibuki-san?" Shigeru called out to the timid twenty-six year old.
"I don't like to think about it..." She dismissed him.
"...But you have thought about it?"
"Oh shut up."
He laughed a little, getting a few uneasy looks from the other staff.
"Fine. But in the end what difference does it make? I mean we're all going to die anyway so what's there to be afraid of?" He pointed out in his insufferable "you know I'm right" voice.
"Eh, the difference is I don't want to give you bragging rights when we're spirits." Makoto's comment caused the three to chuckle.
"Perceptive as always, Hyuga-san..." Shigeru folded his arms behind his head and started whistling.
Loudly, and annoyingly.
Eventually, Makoto sighed in irritation and relented.
"Alright. I think we're going to be okay. Katsuragi-san knows what she's doing."
Shigeru leaned forward with a sly grin.
"Speaking of which, how is your on-going quest to get in between her legs coming along?"
"Uh...gah...none of your business." Makoto hissed, whilst Maya giggled.
"Don't know what you're laughing at. You're trying to do the same with Sub Commander Akagi aren't you?" The long haired thirty-two year old raised a brown eyebrow, as his female colleague's giggles stopped and her cheeks turned a tinge of bright red. Having taken his humour in the situation, Shigeru turned his gaze upon the massive monitor, which presented the image of the 6th Seraph hovering over the city, it's energy blasts slowly cutting through the many layers of armour.
"So...what do you think they are?"
There was a groan from the other two.
"How many times do we need to do this Aoba-san? We don't know what they are. They are meant to be completely beyond our comprehension, and that's the end of it. The only thing we know about them for sure is what they want. That's it. I've told you this dozens of times." Maya grumbled.
As soft a person she was, even she had her limits.
"Oh come on, you keep wondering as well?" Shigeru attempted to connect to them on the matter, with no luck.
"Fine...I guess I'll have to ask what Caspar-san thinks..." Even the sudden yells of "no" from his colleagues, did nothing to stop him hitting the comms button.
"Hey Caspar-san, I've got a question for you."
"What is it? Is it, have you cleaned your internet history of late? If yes, then the answer to that is no...you dirty boy..." The A.I boomed in its characteristic "I don't care if people can hear me" manner.
"No that wasn't it..."
"Guitars, Aoba-chan! Why guitars!?" Caspar's despairing tone caused many on the control deck to burst into loud laughter.
Back on Observation however, Maya had her hand clamped over her mouth, and Makoto had his head buried in his hands muttering "yet another thing I did not need to know."
"No...that wasn't it either. I was going to ask what you think the Seraphim are." Shigeru managed to force down his blush of embarrassment.
The A.I was silent for a while.
"Well in answer to your question, Aoba-chan...it's quite similar to the one your colleagues have given you. The most we know about them is their destructive power and desire to eradicate all life. Alas, we know no more because A, when they die their flesh goes rock solid, and B, the Seraphim aren't exactly forthcoming about what they are." Once again, the A.I elicited a chuckle from the staff.
"If I'm not needed for anything else then, I'll just be off. Making sure nothing valuable explodes and all that..." Caspar's voice faded away.
"So...Guitars?" Maya attempted to say through barely controlled giggles.
"Oh shut up."
"That just doesn't make any sense..." Makoto shook his head.
"And Akira does?" Shigeru titled his head, his bespectacled colleague spluttering.
For the First Lieutenant was committing sacrilege.
"It makes complete sense if you've read the manga!" Makoto growled.
"It's a movie. It needs to stand by itself, not rely on extra material!" Shigeru threw open his arms in exasperation. The subject of Makoto's favourite movie and manga was often one for disagreement between the two.
"But it's art, Aoba-san!"
"Oh no, Hyuga-san, I expected so much more of you." He chuckled for a little, before his expression turned into that of someone feeling a ill.
"Besides, whatever that guy turned into puts some of the things we've seen to shame. How was that fucking thing art? Spirits, I was gagging for hours after seeing that..."
"Yes...that was disgusting. But hey, at least it made more sense than-" Maya sighed before her colleague interrupted.
"No." Makoto had a look of mock fury on his face.
"Oh what, too deep for you, Hyuga-san?"
"It's not fucking deep. It's got the depth of a children's paddling pool damn it! It's what happens when crazy meets way too much money. How is it popular, I don't understand at all!? Just...Spirits...that fucking fan base is more toxic than Chernobyl itself. It's 2 DEEP 4 U my ass..."
This caused the other two to laugh, with the thirty-two year old Otaku grumbling to himself.
How did that get popular in the west, whilst Legend of the Galactic Heroes stayed in obscurity? Maybe we should let the Seraphim win after all...
Casting her gaze over Shigeru, Maya raised an eyebrow at his contented smile.
"Was this all part of some elaborate plan to lighten the mood?"
"Possibly..."
"I thought you didn't care about all this sort of thing...considering you're a psychopath?" Makoto raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"I don't really. I just think people are less insufferable when they're happy. And it's High Functioning Sociopath, not Psychopath." He emphasized with annoyance.
"I forgot we could get under your skin with that..." Maya said, whilst Shigeru explosively sighed.
"And this is why I hate people."
There was silence for a minute or so, before a grin came onto Makoto's bespectacled face.
"So...Guitars?"
The misanthrope slowly angled his gaze upon his co-worker, embarrassment and annoyance etched upon his expression.
"Not. Another. Word."
8:10pm, Transport hub
It had been a long journey. Made even longer by the JSA overseers from Site Ieyasu breathing down their necks, making sure the weapon with which NERV might just win wasn't tampered with.
Or explode.
To be honest, Misato couldn't blame them, as much as they irritated her. When she'd asked about "what might happen" if something went wrong, the general answer was "Japan turns into Arabia..."
The Lieutenant Colonel watched the truly massive weapon be transported by vast subterranean crains. It had been so much trouble to get the one hundred and sixty metre long weapon of mass destruction here to begin with. Granted it would have been much easier if they'd simply sent an Eva to pick it up, but with the 6th Seraph having Tokyo-3's airspace locked down, it wouldn't have got far.
So, they'd had to transport it via an FCV, before dropping it off some miles away from NERV central, leaving it to be brought here by the organization's vast underground train network. Well...that was a bit of a lie, she guiltily mused.
The "Rapid Homeland Defence System" or RHDS, was built by the Defence Board in 2004. It was a nationwide metro system, designed to quickly transport troops and supplies without enemy attention. However, after the Chinese invasion was beaten back, NERV had..."requisitioned it."
Yet another reason why the JSA despised them.
"Quite impressive isn't it?" Ritsuko's voice caused Misato to come out of her reflection.
"Oh, hey, Rits-chan. Yeah, sort of, but...it's still just a big gun at the end of the day."
Ritsuko, clipboard in hand, shook her head.
"A weapon that produces in power the equivalent of a small solar flare is just another big gun to you? Eh, that's probably me over thinking things..."
"How is everything else going?" Misato said quietly, not wishing for others to listen in. For if news boded ill, then she didn't want the staff to suffer a morale drop like that.
"Incredibly, almost everything is going to plan. Unit 01's had its armour plating replaced, the old NASA Space Shuttle we have has been re-purposed as a shield, Subject Creatrix's A-T field has been utilised, the Seraph may be oblivious to all our movements, and Ayanami-san is somehow combat ready." The faux blonde relayed with some pride. Considering the time and resources they had, NERV could make this work. Emphasis on could, but that was better than nothing.
"You said almost." Misato turned her brown gaze upon the Sub Commander, predicting what might not be right with a heavy heart.
Ritsuko sighed.
"Tenka-sensei says that Ikari-san...may not be in quite the right place to Pilot Unit 01. Whilst there are fortunately no sympathetic injuries, the experience has traumatised him...more so than usual...in fact he had a panic attack or something like that."
The purplehead closed her eyes and exhaled.
Of course this was going to happen. Considering what we keep putting him through, I'm surprised he hasn't gone insane.
She then rethought that.
Hell, he can't go insane because he's already as mentally unstable as me...
"He'll do it." She said with total conviction.
The faux blonde raised an eyebrow.
"You trust other people far too much, Misato-chan. Second Impact taught us what happens when we put faith in others...a fucking mess...anyway, Ikari-san was never the firmest person to begin with. And after what happened to him today, I doubt he'll ever be able to do it again."
The two stood in silence for a few moments before Misato straightened up, and walked off.
"Where are you going?" Ritsuko called after her.
"Medical ward."
"Good luck..." the faux blonde said sardonically, before fixing her gaze on the mighty weapon which may well be man's salvation.
A weapon actually built by our hands...
"I won't need luck." Misato quietly murmured.
Shinji-kun is a wimp. He is skittish. But one thing he isn't... A little part of herself was quite surprised by just how much trust she was putting into him. And yet, after living with the boy for some time, she wasn't as surprised as she'd thought.
...is a coward.
08:30pm, Medical ward
He'd been surprised there was a balcony, as he'd assumed father would never spend money on making something look nice.
Yet here it was.
It was a pleasant little thing, meant as a place of relaxation for the injured or sick. The trickling water of the fountain and even the bonzai plants, were placed and designed to provide a sense tranquillity that wouldn't have seemed out of place in the gardens of the Imperial palace. Well it would have, if the Seraph's constant bombardment wasn't echoing above him, causing his spine to shiver.
I can't face that thing again...I can't...
Shinji bowed his head and clenched his fists, leaning on the balcony edge in an attempt to control his shaking.
It was a beautiful view. The various green fields and lakes of the geofront added a wholesome and natural feeling to this otherwise unnerving place.
His hand moved to his chest and massaged it, wincing slightly as recalled the enemy's power striking him.
I'm so pathetic...
Footsteps coming from behind caught his attention. But he didn't need to turn around, for he knew to whom they belonged.
"Good evening, Katsuragi-san."
Misato stopped a metre or so behind him, the sheer weakness of his voice stabbing at her heart.
"Good evening, Shinji-kun. I see you're out of bed."
No response.
"How do you feel?"
Shinji sighed and bowed his head.
"I know why you're here, you want me to pilot the Eva. I'm not going to waste your time so here it is. No, I can't do it."
The two stood there for a while, with nothing but the sound of the geofront's wildlife echoing around the great dome.
You'll still do it. I know you will.
"How do you know that?" Misato queried.
"It's simple really..." Shinji turned to face her, his expression darkening.
"Every time I get in that thing something goes wrong. People get killed and it's all because I'm a pathetic coward who just can't do anything right. You don't need me anymore anyway, you've got Ayanami-san now. The only reason father brought me here was to act as her sub..." He said bitterly, his fist clenching and unclenching.
"He didn't do anything...did he? I bet he didn't even blink..." A single tear slid down the young man's left cheek.
"No...he didn't. I'm sorry." Misato knew what it was to have problems with parents, but it seemed even her own issues paled before those of her charge in some ways.
He breathed in deeply.
"I never thought I wanted his approval, or acknowledgement, or even his love. But I do...so so much." The tears could no longer be held back
"I want to have a father again. But I know he doesn't want a son..." His tears turned into sobs, as Misato gently placed a hand on his shoulder. She remained quiet, letting him get all his woes off his chest.
I keep forgetting you're just a kid. A damn brave one, but still a kid at the end of the day.
"I know he doesn't care if I live or die...not at all." Shinji forced out, laced with some of the infinite anger he felt for his sperm donor.
"I hate it. I hate wanting him to look at me, or complement me, but I want it anyway...oh Spirits I'm complaining about this when that thing is up there trying to kill us all." He briefly cast his gaze upwards, then shook his head with distressed annoyance.
"I could never get my priorities straight..."
Now Misato understood. She understood one of the reasons why Shinji behaved the way he did.
"You really hate yourself...don't you?"
"Of course! What is there to like about me!? I'm a coward, I'm dishonest, I'm sneaky, and a wimp! I am nothing, Katsuragi-san, completely nothing! Nobody wants me, not even my own father..." His sudden out burst trailed off as he struck the metal railing on the balcony with his fist.
But we need you! Her subconscious cried out instinctively. Misato had lived alone for a very long time, desperately trying to drown her nightmares in drink with nothing but Pen-pen to comfort her. Now that he lived with her...the home seemed much less empty, which was strange considering how tidy it was these days. He was a good room mate, even with him quietly muttering about her inability to keep the apartment clean when he didn't think she was listening. To be frank all that did was make her giggle.
She liked him living with her.
Maybe it was that which kept clouding her judgement, kept telling her they could handle the enemy by themselves and that he wouldn't have to do anymore.
But that's not going to happen. We need all the Evas operational to get through this, and you're the only person in the world who can pilot Unit 01.
She stared sadly at the young man, who was so keenly aware of his own problems and how they hampered his judgement when it came to the fate of the world. But that was the way mental issues worked. They were like a black hole which sucked in everything good and left nothing but misery.
And yet here he was, having saved the earth twice already.
Such a brave boy. A wimp, but a brave one.
"I'm sorry...but all I can do is let people down...Ayanami-san knows what she's doing. I'm not needed anymore." His head remained hung, his voice quiet.
Misato's hand still didn't leave his shoulder, her expression hardening. Not in a cruel way, but in resilience.
Let people down? Time to prove how wrong you are.
"Come with me, now." She strongly yet gently tugged on his shoulder. He resisted for a micro-second, before allowing himself to be pulled away from the balcony view.
It was a long walk, he dimly noted, not having a clue what his destination was. But, with humour, he did notice Misato seemed to know where she was going for once.
Are the stars in alignment or something?
However, he didn't show any sign of it, his specially grown fringe for covering his eyes being useless. All that was there, was the look of a sullen and sad young man, who truly believed he had nothing to offer to the world. Yet here was this strange woman, who appeared to have such misplaced faith in him, pulling him along to Spirits know where.
What does she want to show me?
His curiosity piqued as they came to a set of lifts with two Section 2 agents standing in front of them, implying whatever the lift led to was rather classified.
"Lieutenant Colonel. Can we help you?" The one on the right said, not betraying any emotion from behind his standard issue black glasses.
"Yes, you can. I'm taking Pilot Ikari down into Terminal Dogma. If you could step aside-" She took one step forwards, then raised an eyebrow when they didn't move.
"Terminal Dogma is white level classified-" One of them was halfway through saying before Misato shot him down.
"Unless you live under a rock, you would know I have that clearance, and have had it for two years. And I believe Pilot Ikari should know just what he's fighting for."
The two agents shifted uncomfortably, then parted.
"As you were." She nodded at them, before walking into the lift, hauling Shinji in with her.
"Where are we going?" He said quietly, as the doors closed and the lift started going down.
"Terminal Dogma. You'll see when we get there." She said cryptically.
Now he was genuinely curious.
What on earth does she want me to see?
The lift came to a juddering stop after a three minute long journey, leaving him to ponder just how deep down they were. And even throughout all that time, Misato had not let go of his arm. So he found himself being tugged along through a great deal of corridors and ever enlarging doors with bizarre and alien symbols upon them, symbols we would identify as Hebrew in origin.
They swiftly arrived at a great pair of doors, the largest he'd yet seen, which resembled giant obsidian slabs being almost ten metres tall, their corners glowing a luminescent red. And if they weren't foreboding enough, two auto turrets tracked their every single step.
Mounted at the door's side, was what appeared to be some sort of touchscreen key code device, which Misato quickly tapped in the required code on. Also, much to Shinji's interest, her fingerprints remained on the screen for a few seconds before fading away, being followed by a flashing sign of "Identified, Sub Commander Katsuragi. Access granted."
The great doors slowly but inevitably swung open, revealing what resembled a great metal catwalk surrounded by a sea of LCL.
However it was what resided at its end, that took his breath away.
Shinji stared wide eyed at the pale titan, nailed to a two hundred metre tall cross, a giant double pronged lance pinning its chest to it. Upon its face, a seven eyed mask that appeared to follow them, and where its legs should have been was only a hideous bubbling mass of tiny arms and feet.
"What is that?" He said, awed by this strange sight, all thoughts of his own self loathing temporarily vanishing.
"Shinji-kun...this is Subject Creatrix. Mother Lilith." Misato said as if she herself was impressed by NERV's prized possession, despite having seen it many times before.
"Mother...Lilith?" He said, overwhelmed. Shinji felt so many feelings being near this thing. Joy, happiness, love, and a desire to get closer. However, his subconscious thought differently.
Monster, devil, false deity, devourer of good! Kill or flee! Kill or flee!
"We call it that because...it is. All life on Earth was gestated by Lilith. You are looking at every living being alive today's common ancestor, and the Seraphim's ultimate goal." Misato continued.
"This made us...but how does it have anything to do with the Seraphim?"
"I'm not sure. But I know why they are here. They want to merge with it. I don't know why they keep trying to do it, or what they gain from it...but I know what will happen." The purple head then pointed at the great ocean of orange which surrounded them.
"LCL is Lilith's blood. It's the basic building blocks of all life. If a Seraphim were to get down here and merge with Lilith..." She turned to face him, seriousness in her brown eyes.
"It would be an evolutionary reset button. Everything, you, me, humanity, animals, plants, it would all go back to this."
"Why...why are you telling me these things?" He stammered in fear.
"Because you deserve to know what you've saved mankind from. Twice. The only reason the world is still spinning, the only reason we haven't all been condemned to oblivion, is because of you, Shinji-kun. I mean sure, how could you possibly fail with me behind you-" She chuckled a little, provoking a small smile from her charge.
"-But still...most of that was you. You got in the Eva. You fought."
She placed a hand on his shoulder.
"You won. There's more Seraphim to come, and they'll get stronger, I can't lie about that. But with you, Ayanami-san, and everyone else onboard, we can get through this. You can help give back humanity's tomorrow."
A single solitary tear trickled down his cheek, one not of despair, but of a warmed heart that had been cold for so many years.
"Could you do that for me, Shinji-kun? We need you. All of us, every last person in this world. We need you...because you're a soldier who does Japan, its people, and our entire species proud." She said quietly, knowing her words were getting through to him.
I need you.
Before the restrained god, the two simply stood quietly for a while, whilst a faint and bewildered smile curved itself into existence on Shinji's once sullen features.
"Misato-san..." He gratefully whispered, as he was completely touched by her words. And he managed to carry out the exact same effect on her, as the purplehead herself was smiling now.
For it was the first time he'd ever used her first name.
His blue eyes met her brown ones once again, but there was no quailing or indecisiveness. Fear was present indeed, but fear overridden by determination and courage, born from an almost infinite reservoir of the stuff he was only now learning how to tap into.
Shinji deeply inhaled before he spoke.
"Alright."
He nodded, as if finally making peace with the hand fate had dealt him.
"I'll pilot it."