Thanks CerthasDaeron and rmpcmfan for your reviews :)
"Oh, that was the doorbell, I'll get it, I'll get it!", Pen screamed and sprinted to the door.
"You must be the famous Emily, I've already heard so much about you", I overheard her say as soon as she had opened it, the words leaving her mouth in a succession of high-pitched sounds as she tried to keep her excitement at bay. "I'm Penelope, her room-mate, and I daresay also her best friend, but you can just call me Garcia, most people do."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Emily, as you obviously already know...", I could make out Emily's muffled voice behind the door.
"Oh my God, you're gorgeous", Pen gushed. "So, how exactly did you two meet? I've only heard sweet JJ's version, and I'm sure she left out all the juicy details!"
I was too used to Pen's inappropriate comments to be really shocked, but right now her behaviour made me cringe a little. After one last look into the mirror, I hurried to the door to save Emily from my super inquisitive, bouncy friend.
"Uh... thanks. Listen Garcia, is JJ there? I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a cab waiting outside for us."
"Yes, she's here!" I called and squeezed myself through the door, past Penelope who had an expression on her face like a child on Christmas morning.
"Bye, lovebirds, have fuuuuun!" she chanted after us, and I blew her a kiss. Emily seemed too baffled to say anything, and when she looked at me quizzically, I blushed a little and shrugged. "I'm sorry", I mouthed. We walked through the hallway, and outside of Pen's sight.
"She's quite the character, isn't she?" Emily said with amusement in her voice. "So, you talked to her about me?" Her tone was now playful, and she had an impish, yet very charming smile on her lips.
"I might've mentioned you once or twice... And yes, she definitely is", I agreed, and led the way down the staircases, hoping she wouldn't notice my all too flushed face.
We kept quiet most of the cab ride to the restaurant, only sporadically answering the questions of our cab driver, who soon grew tired of our lack of response and turned on the radio instead. After Emily paid him, she turned around to look at me in silence for quite a while, and I was beginning to fear she might be having second thoughts.
"I just wanted to somehow preserve this moment forever", she finally broke the silence. "It's been a long time since I was out with a girl as beautiful as you."
Her words made me feel queasy. Sure, I had been called beautiful before, but never by a woman (with the exception of Penelope), and never in a way that sounded genuine and sensual at the same time.
"Your hair's different", I remarked, my voice hoarse with self-consciousness. "It looks great, I like it."
"Thanks." Emily was beaming at me, and I timidly smiled back. She offered me her arm, and I eagerly obliged. Slowly, we walked up to the restaurant, arms linked, Emily's proximity making me dizzy.
The food was the most exquisite I had ever tasted, and now we were left with the half empty bottle of wine Emily had ordered. Focusing on my plate, there hadn't been much time to feel nervous, and the alcohol did the rest. My heart was beating steady, and my palms weren't sweaty anymore.
"Dessert? I recommend the panna cotta with wild berries, it's like an explosion of happiness in your mouth... and stomach."
"We could share one", I suggested. "I'm full, but I'd really like to try that dessert."
The restaurant had emptied a bit, and looking around, I only noticed couples; no families with children whatsoever. Feeling like an intruder as I observed their shared intimacy, I focused my attention on the live band instead. They had been playing the whole time, but had now switched to slow ballads and love songs.
"JJ?" Awoken from a trance like state, I blinked. "I was asking about the girl on your profile pic, she looks so much like you, but she doesn't seem old enough to be your mother. Who is she?"
I heard Emily's question like it was coming from behind a curtain of fog. Still transfixed by the musicians I heard myself speak, but I didn't recognise my own voice.
"That's my sister."
"Oh so the blonde girl is her, not you? The resemblance is almost terrifying, she looks like your twin. And your mum looks beautiful too. Do you get along?"
There it was again, the emptiness, the darkness, the lack of air.
"That was my sister", I corrected myself. "She died almost twelve years ago... that's the last picture my dad took of her, together with my mom. It was at one of my soccer tournaments, they were cheering me on..."
"I'm sorry sweetheart", Emily said, and her warm voice finally brought me back to the here and now.
"Thanks. I wish I knew why she did it, though... There was no goodbye letter..."
Emily's face spoke volumes, compassion and understanding showing in her dark eyes. Her raven hair had become undone a bit, and most of the red lipstick was gone, but to me, she looked more captivating than ever, and a part of me wanted to stop talking about Rosaline and just lean forward and kiss those fleshy lips of hers...
"I'm sorry for bringing it up JJ, if I had known... Unless... Unless you want to talk about it?"
"It's hardly a conversation to have on a first date", I answered in an attempt to change the subject and to escape her compelling gaze.
"Really JJ, it's okay, I can take it. Anything you throw at me, I can handle it. I know talking and really being heard is one of the best medicine, so I'm here for you if you want."
I gulped, she really meant those words; no empty phrases à la 'I'm so sorry for your loss' that meant well but were no invitation to really dive into the pain, to truly share it with the person facing you and eventually, just hopefully lessen it a bit.
I told her everything. I told her about growing up in a rural town with loving parents, an older brother who always teased me, and an older sister I loved to pieces; how I was a shy child who needed constant reassurance, but eventually started to grow out of it after I joined the soccer team, while my sister, once joyful and brave and beautiful, started to seclude herself in her room with her books and poems, until her smiles were forced and never reached her eyes. I told her how Rosaline put on a facade for me, and for all of us really, and how my parents didn't listen to the school counsellor, who thought it was a good idea to get her some help.
"I remember it vividly, dad told mom he didn't 'believe' in therapy, that it was just Rosie going through puberty and that she had to cut her some slack..." My voice broke. "I was the one who found her, just days after that... And I feel horrible for saying this, but I still somehow blame my parents for it. Almost worse than losing my best friend were my parents acting as she had never existed, never mentioning her again, at least not in my presence... I think that's why the wound still feels so fresh."
I stopped, the same empty feeling overcoming me that always did whenever I talked about my sister. First, Emily said nothing, and I could tell she was processing what I had just revealed to her. Then, she reached over the table and took my hand. "May I?" She asked timidly. I nodded; Emily's voice, her touch, and her whole presence had a calming effect on me. She started rubbing soothingly against my palm with her thumb, and it was like a dam broke loose inside me. Memories, mental images of my sister flooded through me, and I could hear her voice, even smell her scent.
"Cry it all out, I'm still here", Emily soothed, her hand still over mine. The tablecloth turned a darker red where my tears fell onto the fabric, and I allowed myself to be sad and for Emily to console me.
"How are you?" she asked tentatively after the tears had stopped and we both hadn't said anything in a while.
"I actually feel better", I managed to smile at her. In that moment, the waiter came with our dessert.
"Ah, no no, Emiglia, cosa hai fatto? What did you do?" He exclaimed in Italian as he saw my face. "Hai fatto piangere la ragazza!"
I didn't speak Italian, but I understood enough to notice he was talking about me.
"Oh, it's not like that," I said quickly. "It's just.. it's an emotional time for me", I explained to him without going into details.
"Ah, capisco. Vorrei portare qualcosa a casa?" He was addressing Emily now.
"What do you say JJ, do you want o go to my place? We would have more privacy to talk, and you could meet Sergio..."
I nodded. "Yes, I'd like that very much." Emily smiled, and turned to our waiter.
"Grazie Giovanni. Porto la panna cotta e una porzione di tiramisu per la signorina per favore."
"Prego. Sii gentile con lei, mi sembra molto carina. E saluta tua madre da parte mia."
"Sì, e molto dolce, non ti preocuppare, lo farò."
Giovanni had packed the desserts for us as well as another bottle of wine, which he refused to take money for, and now we were out on the streets. JJ wrinkled her nose in an adorable manner when a single snow flake landed on it, melting quickly.
"Look, Emily, it's snowing!" she exclaimed with the exuberant joy of a young child. I couldn't help but laugh, her excitement was contagious.
"Indeed, it is."
"Are you making fun of me, Emily Prentiss?"
"I wouldn't dare, Jennifer Jareau", I replied earnestly. "It's just, you're beyond adorable, and I'm in awe. A couple of days ago, I wouldn't have dreamed of anything remotely like this happening to me, and wherever this is going, even if it's going nowhere at all, I don't regret having met you in that bar."
"What's gotten into you, Prentiss? You're usually not this schmaltzy."
I rolled my eyes. "Here comes my alter ego."
"I feel the same", JJ said, and to me, there was something magical about it. We were two young women that had only met one day ago, and as far as I knew JJ wasn't even queer, but it didn't matter anymore. She was here, walking by my side, and she was wonderful. The snow was swirled around us by a sudden gust of wind, and it was growing darker already.
"May I take your hand?" I asked.
Instead of an answer, JJ's small hand melted into mine, and I immediately felt warmth growing in my chest and spreading throughout my whole body.
Half an hour later, we were both sitting on my couch. I had given the warmer blanket to JJ, which meant my betrayer of a cat was cuddled up in her lap, and not mine. JJ looked so content petting him though, that I happily renounced to my cat's cuddles. I had made hot cocoa for JJ, and brewed myself a peppermint tea. Our desserts as well as the treats from the bakery I had acquired earlier were sitting on a small plate, ready to be devoured.
"So, you haven't told me your story", JJ stated unexpectedly, still continuing to stroke Sergio's head.
I blew my tea and took a small sip. "What do you mean?" I questioned.
"I told you about my worst day, and I got a feeling you've got a secret like that too", JJ said carefully. "I can tell you're hurting... I'm a good listener too."
I sighed. "I don't know, JJ. It was such a long time ago, and I pushed it into the deepest corner of my heart. I'm not sure I want to relive those memories right now..."
"I understand. I want you to know I'm here for you too, if you ever need to talk..." Her voice trailed off.
"How about we try our desserts instead?" I proposed, glad JJ was respectful enough not to push me any further.
JJ moved closer to me, causing Sergio to meow in protest at the sudden loss of contact with the warm blanket. "That's an excellent idea, I thought you would never say it."
"You could've just asked", I sad and laughed. "I bought them all for you, after all. Ready to share?"
I picked up the spoons and handed one to JJ. "Which one do you want to try first?"
"Oh, do we have to eat them in a particular order?" JJ raised an eyebrow at me. "I wanted to try a spoonful of each, and mix them up with the pastry." I chuckled slightly.
"As far as I know, there's no rule against that, even if I'm sure Giovanni would throw up his hands in horror. Luckily for you, he isn't here."
"Yes, I'm very lucky that he isn't."
JJ's tone was flirty, and she crawled even closer to me. Her blanket fell to the floor, and Sergio jumped from the couch, hissing at us, now truly offended at our lack of consideration for his needs.
"JJ, what are you doing?" As much as I wanted this, as I wanted her, I had sworn to myself to take things slowly this time, but the sight of JJ's cleavage and of her closing the physical distance between us was making it hard for me to stick to my promise.
"Nothing, I just want to come under the blanket with you, I'm cold, and I..."
"Yes?" I was astonished that my mouth even obeyed me at this point, JJ's face was dangerously close to mine, and the blood was pounding in my ears.
"Yesterday was the anniversary of Rosie's death, and snuggling into someone's arms always helps..."
Whatever answer I was expecting, it wasn't this. I removed the blanket temporarily to allow JJ access, and once she was snuggled up against me, I covered us both with it.
"Do you feel like watching a movie?" I asked. "Or do you want to talk?"
"Do you have a lesbian movie?"
"I don't own any movie, lesbian or not, we would have to watch TV."
"In that case, I want to talk", she stated, and so we did. We talked until late, and eventually, JJ fell asleep on top of me. We were surrounded by darkness, as I had blown out the candles about an hour ago. The only source of light was the reflection of the snow that had piled up on my balcony, and I felt my chest widen with something I couldn't identify at first, because I had missed it for so long. A sort of calm happiness that came with being content and at ease, and enjoying the moment.
So, I had this finished and then I lost the whole thing, which meant rewriting it all over again. I hope jumping from JJ's to Emily's POV wasn't too confusing. I also hope I didn't make any mistakes with Giovanni's dialogue, I only had half a semester of Italian and frankly I don't remember much haha.