Howdy! Hola! Hey! So I've decided that since I'm slowly letting life consume me, I figured I'd use that semi-depression and bless the world with this chapter. Imma be honest with you this chapter skips around a lot. This is a past chapter so it picks up after their fallout at the hospital. Umm when it comes to Sasha's POV it get confusing but read between the lines. Use context clues... (I'm not sure if I used that word right.. but I'm confident it's context. I'd go look it up but I went to a party last night. It started like at midnight so we were chilling and they offered me a "happy cupcake" and like the fiend I am I ate the whole thing.. and that was around 1am, and I'm still feeling it. Sad part is I slept through my alarm and missed the first hour and a half of my shift... so I'm probably one step closer to getting fired but honestly I'm drunk and high rn so i don't give a fuck.) So read it slow and then we'll talk when you finish. Idk what's wrong with me either.. -_-
POV St. Paddy's day
"God did I ever tell you how lucky I feel to be able to call you mine? I feel like one of the most luckiest men alive because you're mine." Smiled Finn staring at his girlfriend of well actually four years today. Or as it's know to the rest of the world St. Paddy's day. It couldn't really be any perfect for the pair given their roots.
"Stop!" Giggled Becky looking in the mirror fixing her makeup.
"I'm just being honest. I really can't wait to spend all night with you. I have everything planned out and I know you'll love it."
"Where are we going?" That got Finn to smile and kiss her neck.
"Wouldn't you like to know!" He grinned wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. "I told you just get ready and I'll take it from there. It's our anniversary so I don't want you to worry about anything tonight."
"I know but I just don't know if this dress is going to be suitable for the whole night." Whined Becky tugging at her green babydoll dress. It wasn't anything too extreme just something cute and casual.
"You look fine. We look perfect you'll be fine trust me. Plus you look so cute and I don't want you to change." That got her to blush a little. "See like I said you're absolute perfection. I couldn't imagine spending tonight with anyone but you." Looking at her boyfriend she gave him a half smile before giving him a kiss.
"Me too." She stated softly.
"Good. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Kay when you're ready to go let me know." Kissing her on the cheek he then left out the bathroom leaving Becky alone with her thoughts. It's only been three days since her last encounter with Sasha and it's driving her crazy. Everything about that day is so confusing and nothing about it makes sense to her. How she pulled that off she doesn't know but it's nothing to be proud about. There's nothing cool about sleeping with someone who isn't your significant other only days before your anniversary. And add to that pretending like you didn't possibly have the best sex in your life that night... It shouldn't be hard to imagine just how jumbled her head is right now. However sometimes you just have to get back up and continue on like it never bothered you.
Later that night Becky's POV
"How are you enjoying tonight?" Asked Finn pulling me in closer to him. Right now we're at a random pub downtown. It's pretty packed in here but it's not too bad. All night we've basically been partying for free. Apparently on St. Patrick's day if you're Irish people want to buy you shots or give you free stuff. So dinner was good because someone brought us drinks from the bar. Then after we finished there we came here. It's not too late it's about ten give or take. So we've been here for roughly twenty minutes now and we've taken several shots already free of charge.
"I'm great. I'm having a good time thank you for taking me out."
"Well it's our night so it's only right." To that I kissed him.
"Hey get a room you two!" Yelled some random person I don't recognize.
"Shut up man. I'll kiss my girl whenever I feel like it!" Yelled Finn back before coming back and making out with me. Any other night I'd be annoyed but it's a holiday and we're all drunk.
"Ahhhh hahaha!" Laughed the guy before going back to doing whatever he was doing.
"Awesome crowd huh?"
"Yeah we-"
"Yo Sharkboy you're next up." Spoke one of.. I think Finn's coworkers. Joe I think his name was I'm not sure. I just remember Finn telling me he's from some tropical island or something I don't know. I'm tipsy so a lot of stuff is slipping my mind.
"Damn I thought he forgot!" Growled Finn cutely. He's so adorable sometimes I love it. "I suck at billiards."
"Haha yeah you do!" I giggled thinking back to when we first started to date and he took me to a bar back in Ireland. It was a small one that had a few billiards tables. We couldn't decide on what to do afterwards so I challenged him to a game winner gets to choose what we did next. Let's just say I won best six out of seven.
"Whatever. You're never going to let me live that down are you?"
"Hell no!"
"I let you win all those games."
"Whatever you say." I giggled because that night I had a lot of fun. He kissed me before pulling away.
"Watch and learn." He said in a cocky manner before turning and going over to the billiards table. We originally were just standing up against the wall along the back where all the billiards tables were. He isn't too far from me so I can hangout where I am and watch him lose. Plus there's this cool picture of a beer pint hanging on the wall, I like it because it has the Irish flag on it. It reminds me of back home and it brings me comfort.
Two mornings ago Sasha's POV
*tick tock tick tock*
It's about twelve in the afternoon and I unfortunately just woke up. I don't know what time I got home this morning I just know I passed out as soon as I got home. I made it to my couch before I collapsed on it. Then again I only laid there for ten seconds before I started to think of her again and all the time we spent together on that couch. I couldn't handle those thoughts so I guess I stumbled to my extra bedroom and crashed there. My bed still sorta smells like her from two nights ago. It still smelled like her this morning before I left and I bet it still does today.
The past twenty four hours have been the best worst day of my life. I can't stop thinking about her. I've never felt this way about anyone before and It hurts so bad. All I can think about is the way she looked lying underneath me and how soft she felt. I can still feel her body pressed up to mine and how warm it felt when I cuddled up to her. I can't forget those beautiful brown eyes of hers that I always get lost in. And the way she just melted at my touch. Everything about her I can't stop thinking about. No matter how bad I don't want too, I just keep replaying yesterday's events over and over in my head. I loved making love to that woman. I gave her everything and she ripped it up and spat it in my face. I just don't get why she didn't want me. All these days she spent almost ravaging me and then suddenly none of it meant anything. Why'd she have to go and use me like that? That's basically what she did to me, use me for sex then dumped me like a hot tamale. So this must be all the karma coming back to bite me for all those other girls I only used for sex. Damn I hate this feeling.. the feeling of accepting defeat. The worst part about all this is I'm a celebrity who got played by an Irish woman. Actually it's not too bad because she's really beautiful so I'm sure people would understand. It's really honestly not fair at all, I fucking love that woman and I have to have her. I NEED HER! SHE HAS TO BE MINE!
Fuck what's today? Is it Monday yet? Shit I don't even know because I don't know where my phone is. I think it's in the house. Getting out of the hammock I went back into the house. Immediately the first thing that popped into my head when I did this was the time where we pretty much had sex with our clothes on my bed. Yeah I remember that day vividly actually because it happened last week. It was a slow day at the office so we snuck out and went to lunch. I took her to the little sushi place not to far from my house that she likes. After that we smoked and then came here. We were here for only ten minutes before she insisted we make cookies, so we had to go pick up the ingredients. Yes ingredients because she wanted to make them from scratch. I didn't really do much to help bedsides get her even more high and mess with her. Basically they didn't come out as good as hoped and we cooked the premade one that I got. After those finished we went back to my room and we watched The L Word on Netflix. I don't know when but somehow we got into this intense make out session. I was grinding on her and she was grinding on me and it went on for probably twenty minutes before I had to peel her off me. I was extremely extremely turned on, any second longer I probably would have came. I could tell it was the same for her because now I know what she looks like when she's about to cum and it was the same face she made that day. Yeah it was the final key I needed to know that I had her where I wanted her.
However that's not helping. Looking at the calendar that's hanging on the wall it says it's sadly only Saturday and the office isn't open so there'd be no reason for her to be there. I just need to try out one more test and I'll know for sure if she meant what she said. I know she wants me it's just something is holding her back and I don't know how to set her free from it. I don't want to wait until Monday to see her but I refuse to let her know she won.
Monday morning
It's roughly ten in the morning and I just got to the office. Her car isn't outside so that means she must be running late. Nothing has changed for me in the past forty-eight hours. I'm still heartbroken and crying over her. My one that got away. It's actually really depressing walking into this building knowing I'll see the woman who doesn't want me, but God hand crafted her for me and nobody else. Walking in I didn't dare take off my sunglasses because it's not hard to see past my makeup to know that I've been crying.
"Good morning Sasha." Smiled Brooke my overly happy office secretary. If Becky didn't steal my heart at first sight, she probably could be the one who I'd try and make mine. I think she said she was from Texas, so she has this cute southern accent. It's very slight but you can hear it.
"Have you seen Rebecca yet today? Her car isn't here and I need my coffee."
"No I assumed she was with you. She's never late on her own unless she comes in with you and you come in late."
"Oh okay thanks. If you see her.." I don't even know where I'm going with that. I'm not going to threaten her. In fact to come to think of it I have no idea what I'm going to say to her when I see her. I just want to see her.
"... Do you want me to tell her to see you in your office immediately or.."
"No. But if you see her today call and let me know." I then went on to the elevator and up to the level where my office is. It's pretty quiet up here besides the sounds of keyboards being typed on and phones ringing typical for a Monday morning. Walking past Becky's office it's empty and the lights are off so I kept walking till I got to my office. I'm not really going to settle in because I don't even know if she's coming in. I mean she's contractually supposed to be here every weekday unless I tell her otherwise. Her call time today was at nine meaning she's late. And add to that she didn't call and let me know she was going to be late today is a no call no show and puts her in perfect area for being fired or if I'm feeling bitchy enough I could sue for breach of contract. However again she's way too good of a worker to just get rid of her so quickly. I'll give her at least another thirty minutes before I give up.
*knock knock knock*
"Who is it?" Please be Becky! Please be Becky! Please be Becky! Please be Becky!
"Good morning Mrs. Drake err I mean Ms. Banks." Smiled Eli coming in with coffee and a Mattson's pastry bag. "I sure hope you're hungry."
"What?" I'm very confused.
"Yeah Rebecca called out this morning she said she wasn't feeling too well and to let you know. I tried to call you to let you know but whenever I called it went straight to voicemail." Fuck I forgot I put his number or do not disturb so I never got any of his calls.
"Why didn't she just call me herself? She has my number." He then came and sat the coffee cup and pastry bag down on my desk in front of me.
"I have no idea. But she asked me if I could stop and get your morning muffin and tea." Wow she must really not want to talk to me if she told Eli to let me know she called out. Every minute that I haven't heard from her since Friday night I've spent regretting throwing myself at her. I've never regretted having sex with someone so badly in my life. I don't mean that in a mean way, but in a stupid idea way. Had I known that hours after we finished making love she would cut me off I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have gone back into the bathroom if I knew it'd virtually end our relationship. I never would have given myself to her completely if I knew she would reject me. All of it I wish I could take back but I don't want to because that was the best sex I've had ever. I loved it and she loved it and there's no going back from there. "Umm I like you're sunglasses."
"Huh?"
"I'm so use to seeing you with the Legit Boss ones. It's weird seeing you wearing regular sunglasses."
"Oh." I forgot I'm still wearing my sunglasses.
"Yeah. That doesn't matter I still think you look beautiful either way."
"Thanks." I mumbled looking through my purse for my phone.
"So how was your weekend?" Any other day I would have kicked him out a long time ago... but today.. I just don't care anymore.
"Horrible."
"You wanna cuddle and talk about it?"
"Hell no." I spoke nonchalantly. Finding my phone I pulled it out and unlocked it. I gotta change my home screen because it's a picture of me and Becks when we were driving by the beach in the Aston with the top down.
"You want to talk about it over dinner later?" Ignoring him I went to my messages and clicked on Becky's name. The last text I got from her was on Thursday. I'm just going to send her a simple text and then I'm going to be on my way. "What about dessert I know this cool froyo place-"
"Ugh don't mention froyo around me. I hate it." I love froyo it's just last time I had it I was with Becks...
"Okay well then we can go somewhere for lunch. There's this little-" Anything he had to say after that I didn't catch. I'm too busy writing a message.
"This message is purely for experimental purposes. It's just to see if I still have my phone and that it works in perfect order. Apparently for some reason you assumed it didn't and you called Eli to tell him you weren't coming in today. That's fine I guess because at least you called, however last I checked I sign your paycheck every week not him. I get it you don't want to talk to me and that's fine, we need our space and I respect that. It's just I'm still your boss and you don't purposely call a coworker and leave a message when you didn't even attempt to contact me. So whenever it is the next time you decide you actually want to show up to work let ME know not that moron. Just remember that contract you signed, wouldn't want to breach that. I hope you feel better soon."
And that was it. Simple and straight to the point. She isn't sick at all. That woman eats and drinks healthy food on a daily basis plus she works out. There's no way I'll believe she got sick. She didn't come because she doesn't want to see me and it hurts a lot more than I'm showing. All I wanted to do is spoil and love her the way she deserves to be and she didn't want that. My worst nightmare come true. Well it's clear now that it was a waste of time getting out of bed this morning.
"Although last time I was there I tried to grab one of the-"
"Kay I'm out of here." I stated simply putting my phone back in my purse and standing up.
"But you just got here."
"I wasted my time coming in today anyway so I'm going home."
"Who's going to oversee everyone if both you and Rebecca are gone?" I simply walked past him and towards the door.
"I don't care." From there I left and got back in my car and drove home. I took the long way back because I don't want to be there. I'm extremely heartbroken over this girl and all I want to do is write away my blues. I can hear the lyrics and rhythm playing in my head they just need to be written down. The problem with that is in order for me to do that I have to tap into my emotions and I don't really feel like crying anymore. Then again love and heartbreak usually sell pretty well.
The next day.
"Come on Sash you can't just sit around all day mopping."
"Well I don't want to do anything else. Everything I do reminds me of her." I groaned from under my blankets.
"I know you're hurting mamas but this is no way to get over her." Cooed Trinity climbing in my bed and coming underneath the blanket with me. She flew in yesterday morning when I told her what happened between Becky and I.
"I'm never going to get over her Trin. I don't want to get over her. She is my soulmate. God put us both on this earth for each other." I pouted trying not to cry. "She was perfect, my dream girl. Everything about her was everything I dreamed of when I dreamed about having a wife."
"I know you told me. But maybe she wasn't the exact match that you thought she was for you."
"No she is the one for me! The way she looked into my eyes when we made love Trin!" I sobbed because I literally don't want to go on without her. "She let me make love to her.. you know I don't make love to just anyone."
"You really dig this chick huh?" She cooed. All I could do in response to that was let out a small sob.
"Even more than she-who-shall-not-be-named. I was planning our honeymoon I was so into her. I still am in to her. She could kill my entire family in front of me and I'll still want to be with her."
"That's really deep."
"Well my feelings for her are deep." I mumbled looking at her. She isn't saying anything but just staring at me.
"I want to help you but we gotta get out of bed first." She then uncovered us both letting in a lot of light causing me to almost go blind.. Ha I wouldn't mind that then I won't have to watch Becky pretend to be happy with her stupid boyfriend.
"NOOOOOO!" I groaned reaching for my blanket so I can cover myself back up.
"Yes. I know you're all depressed and shit but this isn't the Sasha I know. The Sasha I know doesn't cry or confine herself to just her room. The Sasha I know is the baddest most unapologetic bitch I know. She just walks past everyone like The Legit Boss she was born to be." She then came over to my side of the bed and pulled me so I was sitting up. "You're only allowed ten minutes a day to show weakness every other second of the day you have to spend like the bad bitch you are. You've spent all morning in bed and it's time to get back to business."
"Please don't make me get up." I pleaded. She shook her head no and pulled me out the bed and onto my feet.
"That's too damn bad. Come on let's go shopping for outfits for later."
"Later?"
"Yeah it's St. Patrick's Day bih. The only holiday dedicated to getting completely shitfaced. You my dear friend need a drink and someone to help you forget."
"Awe Becky is Irish!" I groaned out with tears coming to my eyes. I miss her so much and it hurts to know I'll never be able to call her mine.
"Hey no more of that. We'll clean you up make you all nice and sexy. Then we'll go out and drink and dance."
"I don't wanna go out."
"Well you don't have an option, I need a new pair of heels and I need you to come because I know you can get me a good deal on them."
"Wow I'm depressed and all you care about is new shoes." I stated emotionlessly. I'm really not in the mood to do anything today.
"I'll get you a pair too so it's all chill. Look it we can even go out to get food on me too." I'm not going to lie the last part got me to smile a bit. I do love free food. Then add to that we're going shopping.. I love shopping too. "Ah yeah see I knew your fatass would love that!"
"Only if I get to choose where we go."
"Deal! Now go take a shower you reek of depression and sorrow and I can't get down with that right now." She then began pushing me into the bathroom. "You have twenty minutes to shower and I will come in after you."
"You can't rush sexy."
"You better get a move on because you're wasting time."
"Whatever." From there I somehow managed to take a shower. I thought lying around doing nothing was hard enough for me, until I got in the shower. I kept having flashbacks to when she gave into me in the shower back in Los Angeles. The way she just completely gave up her pride and begged me to touch her. It's very bittersweet showering thinking about her.
Later that night
"Trin I wanna go home!" I yelled in her ear being it's really loud in here. We're in some stupid club downtown and I'm having an awful time. It's hot, musty, and loud in here. I have no idea how today escalated to us being in a club but I just know I don't want to be here. The last time I was in a club I was with my Rebecca and I'm having more flashbacks. I have no idea what time we got here but I think it was sometime after nine. I know it's dumb crowded in here for such an early time. The sad part is we haven't been here very long at all actually and I'm ready to go. I wanna go make some hot chocolate and go to bed.
"Sasha we've literally only been here for forty-five minutes. Come on relax have a drink." She then poured something in a shot glass and handed it to me. "Bottoms up." I don't know what's in that cup but I know I don't want it in my body right now. I'm in no mood to get fucked up. When I think about getting fucked up I think of my Rebecca. Some nights we'd open a bottle of wine and drink it until it was empty while we smoked and watched movies. Plus add to that the last time I was really fucked up was at the wrap party and guess who was there getting fucked up with me? Like I said everything reminds me of her. "Come on don't be a pussy! Don't make me pinch you for not taking a shot on St. Patrick's."
"If I take it can we go?"
"Sure." She shrugged. I know that was an empty answer. We're not going anywhere if I take it or not. Taking the shot I damn near threw up. I can't drink unless I'm in the mood and now isn't my time. "See don't you feel better now?"
"No it just made my stomach hurt."
"You are so over dramatic sometimes. I'm sorry I didn't know you were such a wuss. Fine but look at all these people Sash. You can literally mack on all of it. You have a hundred percent chance of taking home any girl you want here. I know none of them are Becky but I guarantee you she's off somewhere with her boyfriend having a good time. If she gets to have fun tonight you should be able to too. You don't have to give any of them your number but just go dance with one of them. Just from right here I can see about..." She then started to survey the crowd of people on the dance floor. "Like at least thirty bad jawns that are your type."
"Trin plea-"
"Sasha. I bet you your future wife is probably somewhere on this dance floor. You can't tell me she isn't if you haven't tried." She then patted me on the thigh and wandered out onto the dance floor herself. My future wife isn't on this dance floor... according to her most recent Instagram photo that she posted not to long ago tonight she's out somewhere with her stupid boyfriend. Apparently today is their four year anniversary. And to answer your question yes I have been stalking her on social media. I don't know what else to do anymore. She hasn't spoken a word to me since Friday and I'm going crazy not knowing what she's doing. Not going to lie I've taken a few late night three a.m. drives to her apartment just to see if she's home. I mean since she left me I have nobody to cook dinner for me so I end up forgetting to eat until late night. I can't cook for shit so my next option is take out and I for some reason always crave Wendy's. The nearest Wendy's that is open that late just so happens to be over by where she lives. Since I was in the area I figured why not check in and make sure she's okay. Alright I'm lying to myself. I'm still finding it hard to believe she doesn't have feelings for me at all. We are so perfect together and we make each other happy. If I could realize that then she did too. I don't want to let her go and so I guess I creep by to see if they're still together. I dunno I'm losing my mind over here and she's to blame.
Damn it why do I keep doing this to myself? I keep letting myself get sucked back into her only to deepen my sadness. She took my heart chewed it up and spit it out. I gave that woman everything and she didn't want it.
"Hey some fans want to buy you drinks do-"
"Tell them thanks but I'm on a diet." I randomly made up. I'm really not in the mood.
"Okay." The security guard then began to walk back to wherever he was. I'm not in the mood to drink at all. I want to go home. I have no idea where Trin went and I'm not too keen on going through the crowd to find her.
"Hey you come back real fast!" I yelled getting the same guard from before attention. He then came back up to me.
"Yes?!"
"I need you to go out there and find my bestie. You know the girl I came here with. She's thi-"
"Hey Sasha you got time for a shot?!" I heard from behind the guard. I ignored it because I don't want to be here any longer than I have to be. "I know you can hear me! Make my night and dance with me!"
"You want me to shoo her away?" Asked the guard looking at who the voice is coming from. Looking at her she's actually really pretty. She has shoulder length platinum blonde hair and that's all I can tell being it's fairly dark in here. She isn't really wearing much either, just a short skirt and a crop top.
"I got your attention so you might as well." One of the other guards who were closer to the ropes began to make her go but you know what fuck it. I tried to be monogamous but the woman I want doesn't want me so it's back to my player ways.
"Hey let her in!" I interrupted pointing to her. The guard shrugged and opened the rope allowing her in. I didn't say anything else I just watched her saunter her way towards me.
"It's good to know they are good at doing their jobs." She smirked coming to stand in front of me.
"Well I don't pay them for nothing."
"I would hope so. Anyway may I?" She asked pointing to the space on the couch next to me. I simply scooted over and she sat down. "Oh Christ your ora is all over the place. You don't want to be here right now do you?"
"What are you a mind reader?"
"No I'm from Toronto."
"Oh."
"Don't you worry I'm not going to smother you in politeness. I'm the furthest thing from it."
"Oh yeah?" That got her to smirk and look at me. Getting a closer look at her she has pretty blue eyes. She's no Becky but she isn't ugly either. She has on really dark eye makeup making her eyes look sunken in and like she hasn't slept in days.
"Yes. Anyway I was walking by and I noticed you sitting here looking miserable so I figured I'd bless you with my company."
"Or is it because you know who I am?" Let's be honest she isn't here because I looked miserable.
"Eh I might have seen you on a poster somewhere." Figures. "That and because I needed a place to shoot. The bathroom was too crowded, there aren't any open tables, and I didn't want to do it on the bar because I'm a classy addict." She then put her clutch on the table and pulled out a small baggie that contained a white substance. I'm not stupid I've been in the game long enough to know it's coke. "I certainly hope you don't mind. No scratch that I am so sorry, how dare I offer you drugs before you even know my name. Lauren but call me Angel." She smiled sticking her hand out for me to shake.
"Sasha." I murmured taking her hand. Surprisingly her hands are almost ice cold and very boney. But this all kinda makes sense now as to why she seems so uppity but sorta looks like she's dying.
"Nice to meet you." She smiled before going back to her clutch. "I'm excited I literally just stole these off some random on the dance floor." She then pulled out what looked to be a small baggie that contained two small long white pills that both had small X's on them. And it had two round pink pills. I recognize the white ones but not the pink ones. "I gotta tell ya, you Americans are so easy to swindle that's why I love it here."
"Why are you here to try and swindle me too? If you are a beautiful Irish woman beat you to it already. She fucked me then left me dry."
"Well thanks for saving me time on that." She chuckled placing the pills on the table. "I'm messing with ya. You're wearing leggings and a green tank so one odds are you don't have pockets and I don't see a purse or anything. Two you look like you don't want to be here and you look sober so I know you probably don't have anything on you. And three I have no use for your phone." She then handed me back my phone. Wait I could have sworn it was in my hand not too long ago. "I told you Americans are easy. I don't want your phone because I like your music and I don't want to steal all your new songs that haven't released yet."
"That's too bad because I write all my lyrics down on paper so people like you won't take them."
"Touché Ms. Banks. Touché."
"So other than to rob me what do you want?" She only shrugged pulling out a debit card of some sort.
"Nothing. Just the pleasure of saying I met you and did lines." She then proceeded to open the bag of pills and grabbed out a pink one out. "Hmm I sure hope this isn't a roofer."
"Why don't you go ask the person you stole it from."
"Nah it don't matter I'll take it anyway. I just hope I remember meeting you in the morning."
"I have to ask but what are you even on?" I get this feeling she's far from sober.
"Well I took a perk earlier today but I'm sure it wore off by now. Had half a tab of acid about three hours ago. Been sniffing all day and I've been drinking. So basically everything." Well she is a lot more drugged up than I thought.
"Damn. How do you manage?"
"Easy just take more drugs. You got a blade?" She asked rummaging through her clutch.
"No sorry."
"Don't matter I found mine. I got a question for you."
"Shoot."
"Who hurt you?"
"What?"
"I can hear it in your voice that you're hurting or something is bothering you. I heard all your radio interviews and acceptance speeches and you don't seem as.. I dunno happy I guess." Am I that easy to read? "I mean it could just be-"
"You're right but I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay. Don't worry I'm gonna fix that up real nice." She then took the pink pill and began scraping her small razor blade against it causing it to slowly turn to dust. You would think it'd take her a while to do both pink pills but it didn't. Then again I'm not because she probably has done it before. "Ugh I can never get it to just fall in the same place it always scatters." She groaned using the razor to gather the powder in a pile.
"Why didn't you just take it? It'd be faster."
"Because then I couldn't mix it." She followed that up by taking the baggie that had the coke in it and dumped the pink powder into it. "It's more fun to snort pink and white lines instead of just white. Plus I love the color pink it reminds me of love. I love love and drugs are love!" Resealing the bag she began to shake it. "Xanax?" She asked taking one of the long white pills and holding it out to me... Fuck it I didn't drive tonight. Taking it from her I looked at it in my hand. Is this really a good idea though? "Don't think about it just do it. See." She then took the other one and placed it on her tongue. Closing her mouth she swallowed and showed me her tongue again. "See easy as pie. Do you mind?" She asked pointing to the bottle of Fireball on the table.
"Knock yourself out." I murmured still looking at the pill. I mean it is supposed to relax you. Putting it in my mouth I swallowed.
"Here." Suddenly there was a shot in my hand so I just took it. Not going to bother protesting anymore. I just don't want to feel heartbroken any more. "How you feeling?"
"I don't want to go home as bad as before."
"Well you just took it. Give it a minute you'll feel better soon. Hopefully sooner." Angel then dumped the baggie of coke on the table and used the razor to divide it into six different lines. "See I told you it's more pleasing to the eye with pink in it right?"
"Sure I guess."
"Hey you don't happen to have the time do you?" Looking over to my left where I put my phone I pressed it and it read eleven thirty on the dot.
"Eleven thirty exactly."
"Thanks. Anyway here, come on relax. If anything the most you'll get out of this is probably a new song about yours truly. And I do expect to be in the music video." As she said that she pulled out a dollar bill and rolled it up into a straw. "I'll let you pick which three you want first. I tried to make them as even as possible."
"What if I told you I'm not interested?"
"Well I'll call you a pussy and spread the word. Besides you said you don't want to talk about who hurt you so why not have some fun. Fuck it how much sadder can you get from down here? You only live once toots. Fuck whoever fucked you over you deserve to be happy. And you're happiness lies within those pink and white lines." I don't know what part of me believed her but I took the rolled up dollar and sniffed the lines. I know I'm going to regret this in the morning but fuck it.
"You know the last time I did lines I was in Amsterdam with The Weeknd like a year ago."
"You two must not have touched the ground the entire trip."
"When we landed there we weren't even on the ground."
"Nice." I then handed her the bill and I sat back in the couch. Once she finished hers she sat back in the couch too. "Are you and The Weeknd dating or is that just a rumor?"
"Rumor. He isn't my type."
"What's your type?"
"It doesn't matter at this point. I don't ever want to open myself up to someone again."
"Same I feel you. I gave up on that a long time ago."
"It's not fair you know. Why do the best highs always come with the worst lows?"
"I dunno. It's just life I guess."
"Yeah." I murmured softly. I still want to go home but I'll give Trin another half hour or until these drugs kick in. If they give me a good high then we'll stay longer if it's bad I'm going.
"You know you're a lot more prettier in person. Those billboards and photos don't do you any justice." She spoke turning her body completely to face me. "It's so hard for me to imagine that someone broke your heart." I could only look at her because I can't imagine it either, but it happened.
"Please don't remind me." I murmured because thoughts of her are coming back and the more I think about her the sadder I get. I then felt her grab my hand and hold it in hers. Fuck her hands are so cold if I didn't know any better, I'd think she's a zombie or something.
"So pretty you are, Winter is gonna love you." She spoke fairly low under the music but I have good hearing. "Hey dance with me!" She spoke louder this time and sitting up.
"Nah I'm-"
"Nonsense I shared my high with you so you owe me. Come on we don't have to leave we can dance right here." Standing up she tugged my arm trying to get me to stand but I really don't want to dance with any other female.
"Please don't make me get up. The stupid after taste is hitting me and I-"
"Ugh fine. I'll just dance on you then." Oddly it was here that a new song started and she began to dance. She's just standing in front of me moving her body in a weird way but it looks cool. Side to side her hips move and it's sorta hypnotizing to me. Whatever the hell this woman just gave me is starting to kick in and it's only been ten minutes. The longer I sit the deeper I fall into this trance and I'm feeling a lot better and calm. It's something about the way the lights are flashing on her and her movements that are making it hard to focus on anything but her. All I want to do is look at her. With every new song that played I found her inching closer and closer to me until now she's in my lap still dancing. The way she's grinding on me and caressing me makes me feel like this isn't her first rodeo. She's working my lap like a professional but I can't push her off me. Then again I don't want to. It could be the drugs pulsing through my veins but for the first time in three days I feel something other than sorrow. "Come on." She whispered in my ear before standing up taking me with her. I have no idea where she's taking me but I can't not follow her.. My body has a mind of its own and right now it feels like she's a great idea. Sneaking out of my VIP area she lead me to the back of the club and the next thing I know we're in the back alleyway. Standing in the fresh air shits going kinda fuzzy my vision is still good I'm just lost. "How you feeling? I didn't give you too much did I? I'm not very good at figuring out how much it'll take to get you where I want you."
"..."
"Huh then again I think I am good at it." She smiled pushing me up against the wall. Then suddenly she began kissing my neck and caressing me. This feels borderline heavenly but I don't want this. I can't. "There's someone I want you to meet, you wanna meet my friend?" I want to say something but I just can't find the words. "It's not like you can say no right now so I suppose I didn't have to ask. I'm sorry." She then kissed me on the lips and pulled away from me completely. Looking at her she's just smiling looking at me. "Come." Holding out her hand for me to take. Something says no don't, but the rest of me says go. "I won't bite." That's good enough. Taking her hand she turned and began walking us down the alley.
I don't know where we're going or where we are but eventually we got out the alley and we're walking down the street. Everything looks so dull to me or I just don't know at all. All these people are walking past us and it's confusing me. I'm so confused I've never had a high like this before, something doesn't feel right. We kept walking and somehow we ended up standing in front of a building.
"Hold on a sec." Leaning me up against the wall she pulled out her phone and began texting on it I don't know. Looking around at my surroundings it looks familiar but I genuinely don't know because it's still dark. The only thing I can make out clearly is this neon sign above a bar across the street. Dolan's Bar and Pub. It's still open and there's actually quite a few people in there. "Don't move stay here." Spoke Angel to me before putting her phone up to her ear and walking away a little bit down the street. Keeping my eyes on the bar, I can hear voices. Voices telling me to go over there. To go into that bar. I don't want to but this urge is consuming me. I feel like a part of me is in there and I need to get it back. I don't know how I managed to but I stood myself up off the building and stumbled across the street. The closer I get to it this scent I'm smelling smells so good and familiar. It smells like something I want to always be able to smell. I love the smell. Closer I need to get closer. Before I knew it I was standing in the doorway of the bar and it's fairly crowded in here. I'm so close whatever it is I can feel it my heart is beating so fast and I have butterflies. Going in further I tried my best to try and analyze faces but they all look the same to me. There's this giant painting of a beer glass with an Irish flag on it hanging on the wall. The mug is being overflowed and it's all falling out to one side. Following down where it drips that's when I spotted the thing that's in here that belongs to me. It was this exact moment where my high died and I'm back to square one.
Becky's POV
"Hey Lass cheers!" I smiled tapping glasses with some random. I'm not entirely sure what number Guinness I'm on but let's just say I shouldn't drive home. "Babe!"
"Yeah?" Leaning in I stole a kiss from him.
"Hi."
"Hey." He grinned wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me down into his lap. "How you feeling lady?"
"Even better now that you're holding me. I need cuddles." I poured resting my head on his shoulder.
"I promise you'll get all the cuddles when we get home." That made me smile because I'm drunk and need some loving. "You look so cute I can't stop looking at you. I'm so glad we came out tonight."
"Awe you look good too Sharky. So handsome." I cooed before giving him a small kiss. "You know what I think?" I purred in his ear. He quickly caught on and began kissing my neck.
"What?"
"I think we should.. mhmm haha. We should go home." I got out running my fingers through his hair.
"Already? We just got here."
"Mmm well. We've been drinking all night and I need attention. I want your attention. I need some love."
"Oh?!"
"Mhmm I need you so bad. You're mine tonight."
"What about tomorrow?" He murmured in my neck giving me slight tingles.
"You'll be mine then too. Mine mine mine! All mine is what you are."
"That mean you'll never leave me?"
"I couldn't imagine doing that."
"Good." He then kissed me before going back to kissing my neck. Thank goodness it's dark in here. She wasn't exactly very careful about leaving her mark on me. It's whatever because Finn is all I need. He's the center of my focus and I love him. If I'm being honest I'm completely comfortable sitting on his lap. Plus he's nibbling on my neck so I'm feeling great.
Sasha's POV
I never knew just how heartbroken I was until now. These drugs aren't helping anymore because I feel completely sober again. So it's logical as to why tears formed in my eyes when I realized where I was looking. She's in his lap and his hands are all over her. His head is burried in her neck and he's probably marking what's mine. I so desperately want to hope it's not her but I know those gorgeous brown locks anywhere. And those legs I kissed them enough to know them when I see them.
"No way are you Sasha Banks?" Asked someone behind me. That caused her to look up and we made eye contact. It's her. All of me wants to go over there and take her from him. I'd give anything to feel her lips pressed to mine again once more. She's mine! She's mine! She's mine!
"Oh there you are come on." Someone then grabbed my arm and began pulling me away. We've yet to break eye contact and with each second that goes by I get more and more depressed. Her eyes.. Oh god her eyes. They're crying for me. I have to go kiss her right now in front of everyone, but I don't want to lose my house. She's worth it but fuck. I wanna go home. "Fuck I thought I lost ya for a second." The next thing I know I'm outside and heading down the street.
"Let go of me!" I growled pulling my arm out of her grasp.
"Woah!"
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! This wasn't supposed to happen. Why god?! Why?!" I cried out looking up at the sky. I know I've been wanting to see her but not like this. Not with her in the arms of another. Not where I can't kiss her and try to convince her to come back to me.
"Hey! Hey! What's the matter?" I wanna go home. I knew it'd be a horrible idea to leave my house. Looking around at my surroundings I have no idea where I am or how I got here. Surprisingly I still have my phone so pulling it out I opened it and began to look for Trinity's number. "Hey come here." Suddenly the blonde from earlier is standing in front of me. "What about me? You can't go now we-"
"Get the hell away from me. I just saw the love of my life being caressed by someone who isn't me. I don't give a fuck what you do. I can't even remember your name." It was here I started walking down the street. I thought I already hit my lowest low but it must have been a false bottom. I can't do it. I can't be in the same city as her because I can't bare it. I can't bare looking her in the eyes and pretending that I'm not completely in love with her. There's no way in hell I can see her on a regular basis and not put my hands on her. Seeing her with him makes me so sick to my stomach. I know she's not happy with him but she won't leave him. And I know he's not taking care of her like she should be and it's heartbreaking to me knowing that...
I just can't do it. I'll go mad being so close to the one person I want so bad but can never have. Ever?
Honestly, I swear with every chapter of this story I just push the boundaries of how graphic I can get without someone fucking my shit up. Like I mean come on? Swear on my life I don't know why we all love this shit so much but I'm having fun. Like I have so many ideas for some crazy ass drama, different smut scenes, cute fluffy shit. Like if it weren't for whoever it was that found Mary Jane half these scenes wouldn't exist. I guess I'm a very creative stoner. Anywhore back to the story. So wtf is good with Sasha? Who is this Angel character and what's her symbolism? Poor Sasha she a hot Ass mess! Bless. Honestly I low key teared up reading the last part. I don't know exactly where I'm going cuz I lost my train of thought. Anywhore do you guys wanna go next? We can stay here or go back on tour. I swear the other day I had something good to talk.. oh wait Mickers is back! Ugh I miss her daisy dukes.. I hate her WWE attire it's ugly. Although her ass still looks good in it. I'm sorry I'm a perv... I'll go.. yeah imma go. ~Joz #fkuctiup
ps When I do these I literally just write what I'm thinking and I just don't go back and edit stuff out cuz fuck it and fuck you. No I'm kidding I'm sorry I love you... Kay bye.